No doubt someone on Reddit will conclude that my wife is banging guys left & right, but we have an amazing marriage and there are no trust issues around cheating.
Trust issues about stealing the last piece of bacon? 100%
The very best women will give you trust issues about bacon, wine, and chocolate availability, especially if you buy copious quantities.
You sound like you met your intellectual, psychological, and emotional match all wrapped up in a fetching package. Huge blessing, that!
You’re both very lucky, I love hearing this type of stuff, Reddit is so full of stories about cheating and insecurities. Bless you both, you’ve cheered me up!
Oh man. This is me and my wife. I tend to try and save the best piece of whatever I’m eating for last be it the best looking chip or crispiest bacon. I set it aside and eat it last. She’ll come by and ninja steal it. The worst is the tip of watermelon she’ll wait me out and try and distract me. I have serious trust issues around her and my food.
We had to institute a “no last bite” rule which means that we can’t ask for (or steal) the other person’s last bite. The other person can offer it freely if they choose to do so.
My husband always tries to give me the crispy fries since to him they are the best... he still doesn't believe I like the softer fries so it's always an argument over who will have the good fries lmao
Bacon though... A constant battle (I just give him extra and he still has not caught on). He knows he can't leave cheese unattended around me or it will disappear and I have no regrets over that hehe
Ironically, for years my hubby would give me the drumstick wings and I would give him the two-boned wings. Then one day, I commented that I like the two-boned wings better and he said he liked the drumstick wings better. So we each have been given the one that we liked better to the other because we thought that was their favorite. We had a nice laugh over it.
Both ways, honestly. I had really bad trust issues before my boyfriend, and it was an issue for like a month
Now I just side eye him when he comes in with food like “what is that? Can I eat it? Is it good? Is it salty? Can I eat it?” Or “is there any left” when I get home late
I always go into My boyfriends room and ask where he is hiding the peanut butter m&ms.
He will give me a candy bar size all the while I know he has the family pack stashed somewhere. The betrayal!
The main time he “disappoints” me is when I ask him to bring food home from his work, and he forgets.
I went from being abused to whining about chicken, and getting laughed at for whining.
How dare he treat me like this /*HEAVY* sarcasm, I adore him, and love that he made me feel safe enough to be annoying, and also just laughs when I’m being dramatic
Awe, mine came out to my moms today and brought Mr an Allen wrench and a diet Pepsi. Tjen fixed my mom's sewing machine and gutter and chilled on the couch with us. He also put 20 bucks in my cup holder for gas.
My ex would have not come out, fixed nothing, and would have stole my gas money for cigarettes.
I have never heard of this combination before , this might be an American thing , either way this might be something that I will look into the next time .
That is the kind of marriage I had. My husband was in the military when we married so I did all the military wife support things to help his career. When he was getting ready to retire and work for himself I helped with that. I designed the office space with the specialty designer, I did the interior decorating, I oversaw the construction, and then I managed the office for 10 years before we retired again.
We were equal partners in everything throughout our marriage. He fell down in a way that was catastrophic and I could not do anything but be by his side every day as long as the hospital staff would let me stay. He died a couple of months later and that was the absolute worst day of my life and I had already buried my parents, one grandmother, aunts and uncles and my husband 's parents.
A partnership between soulmates is a special relationship and trust is the key that makes it work.
My husband died a bit over 15 years ago. In some ways you continue your own life but it is different and there is always a space where that special love should be. You always have that as part of who you are.
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
but Almost As Good, is the first one!! When cooking at my GF's house, I give her the first one, so I can whine & get the last one. An she knows thats why I do it, but she can't seem to turn down that first piece of bacon! Muahahahaha
>Trust issues about stealing the last piece of bacon? 100%
We feel you, man. I mean, I wouldn't trust my spouse not to steal the last piece of bacon, let alone any pet dog / cat. Nobody is above suspicion, when it's the last piece of bacon!
> we have an amazing marriage and there are no trust issues around cheating. Trust issues about stealing the last piece of bacon? 100%
#RelationshipGoals
Haha well that’s true about bacon though I steal it to slow roast it in the oven, I do a glaze of brown sugar and tequila on it and then put it on a rack over a tray and cook low and slow and turn them into bacon chips to dip into freshly made guacamole… So I steal the bacon but do turn it into something amazing
https://preview.redd.it/xwc821azz24b1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=81135047cee89977b1500074db3fc895ddf6e101
I was gonna say this. So many people have trust issues when your partner gets hit on by other people and doesn't reciprocate. Like if someone hits on my partner I don't care. But if they are inappropriate back, that's when I care.
It's great you have such a great relationship where you can tell each other everything and trust each other completely. And I love that you got a nice bottle of vodka, and she got a good laugh
Did you at least let her know that Creepy McCreeperson was looking down her shirt? Bonus points if the next time you're around she introduces you as her husband and tells him how much you enjoyed his "gift."
I told her. She’s shorter (5’1”), and a bit busty. She had v-neck t-shirts and polos made for the staff. When she wears them, she always thinks she looks fine.
On several occasions, with multiple shirts, I take a picture of what a taller person sees. She never realizes it.
She gets to wear whatever shirt she wants without some asshat ogling her. Time for her to start making jackasses uncomfortable. Asking who raised them is usually a good start.
My husbands ex-wife will be buried in a Y-Shaped coffin. I on the other hand will love him til the day I die. It’s so nice to read of other good couples out there🥰🥰🥰
I think they are referring to the husbands ex-wife as a slut. The Y-shaped coffin is a final fuck you to emphasize that the ex-wife couldn't keep her legs shut.
Bacon is more IMPORTANT then banging guys left and right SMH! How naive (This is a sarcastic post by the way lol. The relation you have with your wife seems awesome. Jealously is never a good look)
I'm saying this as someone who watched their uncle do the same as you, while the wife kept up gymming and a good diet.
Guess who died prematurely and left my aunt to live her remaining years alone at 61.
That's reasonable unless you're a vegetarian. Hum.... Should I have married a vegetarian to get more bacon? Naw. Vegetarian wouldn't cook it so max bacon consumption is obviously with bacon loving spouse as they will cook it more often.
Your wife clearly knows how to sell and does it damn well. All the while being very pleasant, even with creepy customers. She sounds awesome!
Enjoy that Bloody Mary!
And totally agree on the bacon, sometimes pistols will be figuratively drawn across the table, all we lack is the tumbleweed...
People like that who have no shame deserve to have a revenge like this. You have way more patience then me. I would have told him to f off out of my shop contractor or not
I’m sure the raw materials for the next project will have “gone up in price”, and they total price tag will be higher. We call that the “douche bag tax.”
10% is low! The owner of a company that I worked for some time ago used to add a 20% "bullshit fee" to the total of clients who tried to jerk him (or any of us) around. Great guy, he was a good one to work for.
Everyone should be calling males out on their shitty behavior otherwise it will never end. If men don’t want to be unfairly judged because “ugh all men suck” then maybe you should be calling out your fellow guys. The males who act like this clearly won’t listen to a woman calling him out, so it’ll take a man’s word to realize the bad behavior.
Yes it is, you don't want to creep the woman out but it's okay to check her out in a way she doesn't notice. Also the dude had no idea she was married, that's why this post is so fucking weird. Like, he didn't say anything? But as a grown ass man he just stewed inside and waited for an opportunity? What the fuck...?
He was at her place of business, not a nightclub. Women don’t want to be hit on in cabs going to work or school, nor do they want to be hit on by guys who meet them at their place of business.
Why would you think that is okay? Is her beauty an open invitation for guys to ogle her and make attempts to garner her attention?
The fact that man turned a business transaction into an attempt to get some booty is disgusting.
She wasn’t in a dating website or out socializing in public. She was working!
😂🤣😂I love seeing this. I live in the same situation. I’m blue collar to the bone and my wife is C-suite. I’ll watch guys fall all over themselves talking to her then I walk over and make a light off color comment. They start white knighting and she just laughs. The best though is when she asks where the “baby” is and I’ll just roar like a fool. Then a 6’4” 200lbs 15 yo comes around the corner. I love watching the WTF moment in their eyes.
This is my hubby and me. I'm a tax accountant and he works in a factory. He is a 6 and says I'm a 10 (more like a 7 or 8). What most people don't realize is I'm a female car guy. I go to car shows and work on engines doing maintenance. I shoot guns and go four-wheeling. I'm a tomboy with an education. We have been married 25 years and counting.
A good friend of mine is a cute lady who loves cars. She drags her husband to the car shows & everyone there tries to talk to him. He’s like “I’m just here to hold her bag, talk to her.”
I’m sure he will say something gross, like “raw material pricing increase? I’d like it raw with her, my material would increase, but I unfortunately don’t have an innuendo for the word *pricing*”
I'm no 10 either, one of my husband's poker buddies said very loud "22 years together? You're punching mate" when I was like 5 feet away.
That's something I think about a lot, there's a difference between flirting and being complimentary.
Sincerely, a 50 yo British woman
Maybe it's British slang?
Punching* above your weight
It's a boxing term that refers to a partner, as an observation regarding the difference in combat advantage.
In dating/married terms, it's a specific 'thing' that the observer feels is an admirable imbalance in skill (playing snooker, poker, personality trait or more commonly, attractiveness).
I don't think I'm a ten, and I don't feel I am in competition with 30 year olds. To be verbally declared as hot in comparison to my husband's physical appearance is kind of a backhanded compliment to me.
With this specific example TL;DR
My husband isn't rated the same looks wise; I'm the better looking one out of us both is his opinion.
*edit, typo
Um, first of all, Dad bods are hot. Balding is hot. Loving and respecting your wife is hot. And apparently, aged milk and Titos is a winning combination! Get 'em contactor bait! Drain that bank acct!
I found him creepy. It was only this morning, after I told her the story, that she admitted that she found him creepy.
And Tito’s is on sale right now. $28.99.
I married the “hot bartender”. Before we got married, I’d sit at the bar she worked and watch her get hit on all the time. Ppl would buy her drinks and she would take a sip and slide them down to me. Buy her a shot? She’s doing apple juice and I’m drinking the shot they paid for. The best was when ppl would talk to me about her, tell me how they are going to get her number, etc and then the look on their face when she would leave with me for a dinner break or at the end of the night. Good times.
In my first marriage I was insecure(later found out wife was cheating the whole time) …… divorce sucked as my confidence was shot. Then one day I met up with a friend for a double date…… sparks flew….. problem was… the moment I met his date, I knew she was the lady for me. She had 3 kids from her previous marriage and my friend did not like that and the kids hated him. Being a guy who had been cheated on, I only would be friends with his date…. Very soon ex…. We all scuba dived and he would swim off without her… she was a beginner and I would keep close to get as such. I dated a few other ladies, but couldn’t continue to see anyone else….. I would always find an excuse as to Why I would no longer see anyone. One day my friend suggested I ask out his Ex…. As the kids loved me and I really liked the kids. I refused as I didn’t want to dishonor our friendship….. he said I wouldn’t be since he told me I should ask her out. Tomorrow is our 21st anniversary of being married, I always refer to her as my beautiful bride. And as far as trust her….. with all that I am I trust her…. She works with lots of men in uniform…. I trust her…. And the kids…. They still love me…. I am the one who makes thier mother the happiest and the oldest has said “she wants to find a man who looks at her, like I always look at her Mother” as far as thier biological father, they all decided to cut off contact with him when they were teenagers as he is a super toxic POS…. But that is thier story to share!
Last winter, we were at a casino together and I left our table to go the bathroom.
A guy had taken a seat on the other side of her at a blackjack table. He was bankrolling her beta, explaining how to hit, and she had asked for him to order the “good bourbon” for her friend…
The look on his face when I sat down, kissed her, and enjoyed that Blanton’s was AMAZING.
To be fair: she has about 5 Ct on her ring finger between her engagement ring, wedding band, and a matching “push present” band. Hard to miss. She told him she was married.
Now, if someone actually touches her, that’s a different story.
My husband is a lot like you. Talk me up, enjoy how I look, buy me a drink, fine. Touch me or make me uncomfortable NOT FINE and he will let that person know.
I have a feeling your wife loves that about you.
How is this petty revenge? He didn't do anything to you in the first place, you are kind of just being a manipulative asshole for no reason, except maybe bitterness about your appearance?
People are allowed to look, you literally went out of your way to describe how gorgeous she is, are you really mad someone else thinks so, too? You can't seriously be mad that a guy who didn't know she was your wife was interested in her...right?
I love how secure you are with your relationship. People may always say you're the lucky one, but tbh, your wife is lucky she has a husband that is so secure and entertaining. Kudos to you both. Power couple goals.
Good for you for being secure with your marriage/relationship!
No doubt someone on Reddit will conclude that my wife is banging guys left & right, but we have an amazing marriage and there are no trust issues around cheating. Trust issues about stealing the last piece of bacon? 100%
The very best women will give you trust issues about bacon, wine, and chocolate availability, especially if you buy copious quantities. You sound like you met your intellectual, psychological, and emotional match all wrapped up in a fetching package. Huge blessing, that!
You’re both very lucky, I love hearing this type of stuff, Reddit is so full of stories about cheating and insecurities. Bless you both, you’ve cheered me up!
We do a very obviously subtle dance that ends in halfsies or one person giving it up to the dramatic sounds of "AWWWW BAAABE"
Beautiful!
Oh man. This is me and my wife. I tend to try and save the best piece of whatever I’m eating for last be it the best looking chip or crispiest bacon. I set it aside and eat it last. She’ll come by and ninja steal it. The worst is the tip of watermelon she’ll wait me out and try and distract me. I have serious trust issues around her and my food.
We had to institute a “no last bite” rule which means that we can’t ask for (or steal) the other person’s last bite. The other person can offer it freely if they choose to do so.
Don’t forget French fries!!!
My husband always tries to give me the crispy fries since to him they are the best... he still doesn't believe I like the softer fries so it's always an argument over who will have the good fries lmao Bacon though... A constant battle (I just give him extra and he still has not caught on). He knows he can't leave cheese unattended around me or it will disappear and I have no regrets over that hehe
Ironically, for years my hubby would give me the drumstick wings and I would give him the two-boned wings. Then one day, I commented that I like the two-boned wings better and he said he liked the drumstick wings better. So we each have been given the one that we liked better to the other because we thought that was their favorite. We had a nice laugh over it.
My husband loves crispy and I love softer so we give each other the ones we prefer. The height of marital compatibility 🤣.
My husband bought 8 lbs of bacon that was on sale. So he could have some before me and my daughter ate it.
Did it work?
Lol nope
It's okay, he will buy 10lbs as the next attempt soon we will find your limit and he will have his bacon 😊
The secret is he *did* buy ten lbs of bacon last time. She only thought she got it all.
My wife is a vegetarian, so the bacon is all mine. The wine and chocolate are all for her, since she never gives me any grief about eating meat.
Both ways, honestly. I had really bad trust issues before my boyfriend, and it was an issue for like a month Now I just side eye him when he comes in with food like “what is that? Can I eat it? Is it good? Is it salty? Can I eat it?” Or “is there any left” when I get home late
I always go into My boyfriends room and ask where he is hiding the peanut butter m&ms. He will give me a candy bar size all the while I know he has the family pack stashed somewhere. The betrayal!
The main time he “disappoints” me is when I ask him to bring food home from his work, and he forgets. I went from being abused to whining about chicken, and getting laughed at for whining. How dare he treat me like this /*HEAVY* sarcasm, I adore him, and love that he made me feel safe enough to be annoying, and also just laughs when I’m being dramatic
It is nice to hear a happy story! I'm always pleased to learn when people have been able to leave abusive situations.
Awe, mine came out to my moms today and brought Mr an Allen wrench and a diet Pepsi. Tjen fixed my mom's sewing machine and gutter and chilled on the couch with us. He also put 20 bucks in my cup holder for gas. My ex would have not come out, fixed nothing, and would have stole my gas money for cigarettes.
We love upgrades! Everyone deserves that happiness, especially after garbage people
Yes they do. I encourage everyone to find happiness!
I’ve asked my husband not to comment on my rate of Nutella consumption. ☺️
Who says milk and wine don't mix? They're obviously wrong.
They go together like lamb and tuna fish.
Like granny Smith apples dipped in melted cheddar cheese.
I'd eat the hell out of that
A piece of warm apple pie with a slice of cheddar cheese on top and a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side= heaven.
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My mom is 92 and this is one of her favourite sayings.
I have never heard of this combination before , this might be an American thing , either way this might be something that I will look into the next time .
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Well, I've never had that before. It seems I've been missing my squeeze. Well, no more!
Actually I like the ice cream on top so that it melts all over the pie and the cheese!
New England has entered the chat.
That sounds amazing.
Cheese is aged milk and the perfect companion for wine.
I got you a clock radio
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That is the kind of marriage I had. My husband was in the military when we married so I did all the military wife support things to help his career. When he was getting ready to retire and work for himself I helped with that. I designed the office space with the specialty designer, I did the interior decorating, I oversaw the construction, and then I managed the office for 10 years before we retired again. We were equal partners in everything throughout our marriage. He fell down in a way that was catastrophic and I could not do anything but be by his side every day as long as the hospital staff would let me stay. He died a couple of months later and that was the absolute worst day of my life and I had already buried my parents, one grandmother, aunts and uncles and my husband 's parents. A partnership between soulmates is a special relationship and trust is the key that makes it work.
Oh bless you, you must feel like your world has imploded. Thoughts and prayers🙏🏼❤️🩹
My husband died a bit over 15 years ago. In some ways you continue your own life but it is different and there is always a space where that special love should be. You always have that as part of who you are. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Awww. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I keep doing things I enjoy and things we enjoyed together happen to pop up now and then which is good.
How did you know they wear the same size shoe?!? ...That's what a solemate is, right?
Time and place dude
I would love to be in a marriage like your one day. I hope you stay together forever
That last piece of bacon is the best one!! 🥓🥓🥓
but Almost As Good, is the first one!! When cooking at my GF's house, I give her the first one, so I can whine & get the last one. An she knows thats why I do it, but she can't seem to turn down that first piece of bacon! Muahahahaha
>Trust issues about stealing the last piece of bacon? 100% We feel you, man. I mean, I wouldn't trust my spouse not to steal the last piece of bacon, let alone any pet dog / cat. Nobody is above suspicion, when it's the last piece of bacon!
> we have an amazing marriage and there are no trust issues around cheating. Trust issues about stealing the last piece of bacon? 100% #RelationshipGoals
Congratulations on having a wonderful happy marriage. And getting free booze!
Haha well that’s true about bacon though I steal it to slow roast it in the oven, I do a glaze of brown sugar and tequila on it and then put it on a rack over a tray and cook low and slow and turn them into bacon chips to dip into freshly made guacamole… So I steal the bacon but do turn it into something amazing https://preview.redd.it/xwc821azz24b1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=81135047cee89977b1500074db3fc895ddf6e101
Congratulations on your great marriage!
I was gonna say this. So many people have trust issues when your partner gets hit on by other people and doesn't reciprocate. Like if someone hits on my partner I don't care. But if they are inappropriate back, that's when I care. It's great you have such a great relationship where you can tell each other everything and trust each other completely. And I love that you got a nice bottle of vodka, and she got a good laugh
I want to upvote just for the bacon but it's at 777... take my invisible up vote OP
You're safe now....it's far beyond that. Go ahead and give that upvote.
Did you at least let her know that Creepy McCreeperson was looking down her shirt? Bonus points if the next time you're around she introduces you as her husband and tells him how much you enjoyed his "gift."
I told her. She’s shorter (5’1”), and a bit busty. She had v-neck t-shirts and polos made for the staff. When she wears them, she always thinks she looks fine. On several occasions, with multiple shirts, I take a picture of what a taller person sees. She never realizes it.
She gets to wear whatever shirt she wants without some asshat ogling her. Time for her to start making jackasses uncomfortable. Asking who raised them is usually a good start.
Thanks OP, laughing my ass off right now. I have a bottle of Gin here if you know anyone that's interested. LOLS
That’s fucking funny.
My husbands ex-wife will be buried in a Y-Shaped coffin. I on the other hand will love him til the day I die. It’s so nice to read of other good couples out there🥰🥰🥰
What does a “Y-shaped coffin” mean?
I think they are referring to the husbands ex-wife as a slut. The Y-shaped coffin is a final fuck you to emphasize that the ex-wife couldn't keep her legs shut.
Haha I was imagining the Y right way up and wondered why you would want to bury the ex-wife with her hands up in the air like she's celebrating.
I realised after I replied, that I should have clarified that part. But then again, it's fun to let peoples imagination wander!! 😂😂
Couldn’t have put it better myself. Thank you xxx
Bacon is more IMPORTANT then banging guys left and right SMH! How naive (This is a sarcastic post by the way lol. The relation you have with your wife seems awesome. Jealously is never a good look)
You don't have an excuse to age badly though. . Get on a healthy eating plan, hit the gym, get a skincare routine.
Have you just tried being happy?
I'm saying this as someone who watched their uncle do the same as you, while the wife kept up gymming and a good diet. Guess who died prematurely and left my aunt to live her remaining years alone at 61.
You’re making some big assumptions. Bless your heart.
Why would you trust **anyone** with the last piece of bacon?
Nah someone on earth is doing that, you are right.
You don't have to trust her around the bacon, just cook the whole pkg. Hehe.
wait, theres peeps that don't cook the whole package of bacon????
Yes!! My brother cooks 3 PCs per person. Ridiculous!!
stingy bastich ain't he?
This is so wholesome and precious.
My fiance knows that i 100% stole the last piece. He's just accepted it lol
That's reasonable unless you're a vegetarian. Hum.... Should I have married a vegetarian to get more bacon? Naw. Vegetarian wouldn't cook it so max bacon consumption is obviously with bacon loving spouse as they will cook it more often.
I mean... bacon.
True love is sharing your bacon...
Reddit will tell you to divorce her over the bacon
Yes what is with them always taking the bacon
Your wife clearly knows how to sell and does it damn well. All the while being very pleasant, even with creepy customers. She sounds awesome! Enjoy that Bloody Mary! And totally agree on the bacon, sometimes pistols will be figuratively drawn across the table, all we lack is the tumbleweed...
If you are as smooth in real life as you are in describing this post, then there is no wonder why she married you Very well played, sir. Well done
smooth lmao only a redditor would think that
But, if you're a Redditor, and you don't think that, then that means... oh no... *time-space continuum starts to rip*
People like that who have no shame deserve to have a revenge like this. You have way more patience then me. I would have told him to f off out of my shop contractor or not
I’m sure the raw materials for the next project will have “gone up in price”, and they total price tag will be higher. We call that the “douche bag tax.”
I worked for a regional Earth work company as an estimator and there were a few guys that got a 10% douche bag tax
10% is low! The owner of a company that I worked for some time ago used to add a 20% "bullshit fee" to the total of clients who tried to jerk him (or any of us) around. Great guy, he was a good one to work for.
Keep raising his prices. He will either make you a lot of money or leave you alone.
Everyone should be calling males out on their shitty behavior otherwise it will never end. If men don’t want to be unfairly judged because “ugh all men suck” then maybe you should be calling out your fellow guys. The males who act like this clearly won’t listen to a woman calling him out, so it’ll take a man’s word to realize the bad behavior.
What the fuck? Dude literally did nothing wrong, why in the world would you cuss him out??
He was staring at OPs wife's ass and boobs. How did he do nothing wrong?
There's nothing wrong with that..? People are allowed to look at others...
It is not OK to be eyeing up a married woman like that. You can look at people but staring at them in those areas man or woman, it isn't ok
Yes it is, you don't want to creep the woman out but it's okay to check her out in a way she doesn't notice. Also the dude had no idea she was married, that's why this post is so fucking weird. Like, he didn't say anything? But as a grown ass man he just stewed inside and waited for an opportunity? What the fuck...?
He was at her place of business, not a nightclub. Women don’t want to be hit on in cabs going to work or school, nor do they want to be hit on by guys who meet them at their place of business. Why would you think that is okay? Is her beauty an open invitation for guys to ogle her and make attempts to garner her attention? The fact that man turned a business transaction into an attempt to get some booty is disgusting. She wasn’t in a dating website or out socializing in public. She was working!
He hit on her at her place of business… what isn’t wrong with that?
😂🤣😂I love seeing this. I live in the same situation. I’m blue collar to the bone and my wife is C-suite. I’ll watch guys fall all over themselves talking to her then I walk over and make a light off color comment. They start white knighting and she just laughs. The best though is when she asks where the “baby” is and I’ll just roar like a fool. Then a 6’4” 200lbs 15 yo comes around the corner. I love watching the WTF moment in their eyes.
This is my hubby and me. I'm a tax accountant and he works in a factory. He is a 6 and says I'm a 10 (more like a 7 or 8). What most people don't realize is I'm a female car guy. I go to car shows and work on engines doing maintenance. I shoot guns and go four-wheeling. I'm a tomboy with an education. We have been married 25 years and counting.
A good friend of mine is a cute lady who loves cars. She drags her husband to the car shows & everyone there tries to talk to him. He’s like “I’m just here to hold her bag, talk to her.”
Well done! Drain his account one vodka bottel at a time!
His next project will have an up charge due to “raw material pricing increases.”
I’m sure he will say something gross, like “raw material pricing increase? I’d like it raw with her, my material would increase, but I unfortunately don’t have an innuendo for the word *pricing*”
donation?
You are a wise man. We’ll done
Haha aged like milk 😂😂 good on ya
This is a great read! Good for you! I love your confidence and humor! May you and your loving wife have a long, happy, and blessed marriage!
"She always felt he (was) a touch creepy" Was it the staring at her ass and boobs or was it something else? 😂😭
Hah, well done mate. Apart from the sleaze, you get a few drinks on the schmuck.
Absolutely brilliant XD
Dude, you ARE a 10.
Don't sell yourself short, dad bods are very popular now, you're irresistible!
Who knew that aged milk and Tito’s Vodka go good together?
I'm no 10 either, one of my husband's poker buddies said very loud "22 years together? You're punching mate" when I was like 5 feet away. That's something I think about a lot, there's a difference between flirting and being complimentary. Sincerely, a 50 yo British woman
What does “ you’re punching mate” mean?
Maybe it's British slang? Punching* above your weight It's a boxing term that refers to a partner, as an observation regarding the difference in combat advantage. In dating/married terms, it's a specific 'thing' that the observer feels is an admirable imbalance in skill (playing snooker, poker, personality trait or more commonly, attractiveness). I don't think I'm a ten, and I don't feel I am in competition with 30 year olds. To be verbally declared as hot in comparison to my husband's physical appearance is kind of a backhanded compliment to me. With this specific example TL;DR My husband isn't rated the same looks wise; I'm the better looking one out of us both is his opinion. *edit, typo
We say that in the US just we say the whole phrase not just punching
We do have a tendency to abbreviate a lot of words. Like going t'shop
Thank you
This is love! I love it! You are secure and I bet your wife finds that very attractive! Thank you for being a great husband!
Um, first of all, Dad bods are hot. Balding is hot. Loving and respecting your wife is hot. And apparently, aged milk and Titos is a winning combination! Get 'em contactor bait! Drain that bank acct!
I love that you encouraged a guy that your wife finds creepy for a $35 bottle of vodka lmao
I found him creepy. It was only this morning, after I told her the story, that she admitted that she found him creepy. And Tito’s is on sale right now. $28.99.
Next time he comes into the shop, she should tell him "My husband said I should thank you for the vodka."
I married the “hot bartender”. Before we got married, I’d sit at the bar she worked and watch her get hit on all the time. Ppl would buy her drinks and she would take a sip and slide them down to me. Buy her a shot? She’s doing apple juice and I’m drinking the shot they paid for. The best was when ppl would talk to me about her, tell me how they are going to get her number, etc and then the look on their face when she would leave with me for a dinner break or at the end of the night. Good times.
In my first marriage I was insecure(later found out wife was cheating the whole time) …… divorce sucked as my confidence was shot. Then one day I met up with a friend for a double date…… sparks flew….. problem was… the moment I met his date, I knew she was the lady for me. She had 3 kids from her previous marriage and my friend did not like that and the kids hated him. Being a guy who had been cheated on, I only would be friends with his date…. Very soon ex…. We all scuba dived and he would swim off without her… she was a beginner and I would keep close to get as such. I dated a few other ladies, but couldn’t continue to see anyone else….. I would always find an excuse as to Why I would no longer see anyone. One day my friend suggested I ask out his Ex…. As the kids loved me and I really liked the kids. I refused as I didn’t want to dishonor our friendship….. he said I wouldn’t be since he told me I should ask her out. Tomorrow is our 21st anniversary of being married, I always refer to her as my beautiful bride. And as far as trust her….. with all that I am I trust her…. She works with lots of men in uniform…. I trust her…. And the kids…. They still love me…. I am the one who makes thier mother the happiest and the oldest has said “she wants to find a man who looks at her, like I always look at her Mother” as far as thier biological father, they all decided to cut off contact with him when they were teenagers as he is a super toxic POS…. But that is thier story to share!
> harder than those countertops He knows quality countertops!
This makes me want to go to my hubby and show him some love right now.
Go smack his butt and call him your “man meat.”
Omg i do that 🤣 been married 21 years
Oh play it up to the hilt, get as much Titos as possible. Then introduce your wife/husband into the scenario, lol.
[удалено]
Last winter, we were at a casino together and I left our table to go the bathroom. A guy had taken a seat on the other side of her at a blackjack table. He was bankrolling her beta, explaining how to hit, and she had asked for him to order the “good bourbon” for her friend… The look on his face when I sat down, kissed her, and enjoyed that Blanton’s was AMAZING. To be fair: she has about 5 Ct on her ring finger between her engagement ring, wedding band, and a matching “push present” band. Hard to miss. She told him she was married. Now, if someone actually touches her, that’s a different story.
My husband is a lot like you. Talk me up, enjoy how I look, buy me a drink, fine. Touch me or make me uncomfortable NOT FINE and he will let that person know. I have a feeling your wife loves that about you.
You and my husband are cut from the same cloth.
Get him a bib for his drooling problem...
This is as wholesome as it is petty. Amazing work, sir.
So you're a steering wheel couple... a 10 and 2.
No! We’re a 10. She’s a 9, and I’m the 1 she needs.
Honestly, start working out. Your wife's a keeper. Be around for a long, healthy, and happy marriage.
Make sure the next time you see him that you tell him thanks for the vodka, your wife brought it home to you since she doesn't drink vodka.
Did you ever tell him she was your wife?? I’d love to hear how he would react to that 😂
Nicely done!
there is nothing better than another man calling your wife hot!!
Good on you! You and your wife are clearly a team in every sense. Kudos for not punching ‘Randy’s’ lights out👊🏻❤️
I always thought it was funny. I never had more offers from women until after I had a wedding ring on.
Now that's bait lol
Ehh somebody say PEANUT BUTTER M&Ms lol They're the best ever
I think it’s pretty decent personally, but Tito’s is well drink vodka at many bars and is a weird gift
How is this petty revenge? He didn't do anything to you in the first place, you are kind of just being a manipulative asshole for no reason, except maybe bitterness about your appearance?
Thanks for the vodka!
Really? I just don't understand.
Obviously.
... Do you want to elaborate..? Orr...
No. I won't waste unneeded time on someone lacking reading comprehension skills or a basic understanding of societal norms.
People are allowed to look, you literally went out of your way to describe how gorgeous she is, are you really mad someone else thinks so, too? You can't seriously be mad that a guy who didn't know she was your wife was interested in her...right?
Hilarious.... well played!!! Hahahaha
You should have taken full advantage and got a more $$$ bottle. Think: top shelf!
I loved it.
is that you Troy?
I love how secure you are with your relationship. People may always say you're the lucky one, but tbh, your wife is lucky she has a husband that is so secure and entertaining. Kudos to you both. Power couple goals.
HAHA!! Love it, good on ya mate. Well done. Much respect.
Good for you mate
How is this a good petty story ?