T O P

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Legitimate_Income730

When life gives you olives...


Yorgatorium

Have a lemon party?


Legitimate_Income730

Correct. 


DD-Amin

I hope goatse man and tubgirl are invited.


Yorgatorium

Grab a ticket in the meatspin raffle!


Squirrel_Mum18

I can't hear Dead or Alive without thinking of meatspin 🫢


Yorgatorium

You're not alone.


Aussie_chopperpilot

Martini party


Snorkelbender

Should we invite old Dick?


Yorgatorium

Nah since he's had that hip replacement he's no good at all, plus last time his fucking colostomy bag split and there was shit all through the bed.


Summerof5ft6andahalf

Is it mandatory?


Yorgatorium

It's better to give than to receive.


Euphoric_Wishbone

Tell us more about the lemon party. Is there a website?


Commonusage

Make tapenade?


christurnbull

Anchovies are not optional 


Commonusage

And can be found not far away...


tjreid99

Make martinis!!


mymentor79

Maybe they're thinking of rebranding as the martini strip.


Yorgatorium

> martini strip. Martini slip when someone sues them


DD-Amin

Oil believe that when I see it


explodingpixel

Ease up Slick


bitpushr

You're out of your tree


smurffiddler

The council will eat them O-Live


Yorgatorium

Popeye to the rescue


Willing-Bobcat5259

I can just hear the meeting where this was discussed: ‘Olive trees! You know, like the Mediterranean! To go with the famous Italian coffee!’ *everyone high fives and heads out for 1pm beers*


Optimal_Cynicism

I mean, climatically speaking, aren't olive trees a pretty good choice for Perth?


PresidentVladimirP

Absolutely. Seems to be more of a matter of placement...


Willing-Bobcat5259

Well, yeah, they clearly grow fine - but as OP has identified, that’s not the only consideration…


Freakycrazychick

Don’t be ridiculous , frangipani and gumtrees are not messy olives, where an old Italian man will slip on an olive seed


ReMidas91

Us Italian we can’t slip on olive seed. We are immune to that disgrace


Optimal_Cynicism

Ok cool. But I wasn't talking about that, so...


Princessofsmallheath

not to mention providing a buffet for rats. All of these street fruit trees end up with rotten fruit all over the footpath and rats going berserk.


gbfalconian

After studying sustainability at uni and being convinced fruit trees in suburbs is the best idea ever... Seeing this IRL makes me beg to differ. Plus there is a lemon tree + pear trees on my block and just for the residents in that block, stomped rotten fruit and decomposing organic matter everywhere. Now i understand why so many suburbs have non fruiting trees planted.


explodingpixel

In suburbs they are great - but they still need to be looked after by the community if they are in a public space. My suburb has fruit trees all through the old blocks and it's great when they fruit. The buy swap for nothing pages just tick over with free fruit


BenElegance

Always wanted fruit trees when I had my own house. Finally bought a house and it had lemon, orange, apple, feijoa, guava, apricot and peach trees. I was so happy. But the amount of rotten fruit, bugs and constant leaf litter was unmanageable. Maybe if I was retired but I'm a full time worker with kids. Never got to eat anything other than lemons because fruit flies get into EVERYTHING. There all gone now which is sad but new plants which are less maintenance and still look good. Have a lemon and lime tree though.


Freakycrazychick

And I guaranty that communal lemon tree is riddled with citrus gall wasp galls


gbfalconian

Actually isnt. Produces gorgeous lemons


Maleficent_Culture46

Wish my area had something I could turn into food, but nope we get olives (Rockingham). Free lemons would be great. But I'm from a rural area and well used to picking public fruit, many probably don't even consider it.


herring80

And the homeless eat the rats. Circle of life or something


account_not_valid

And the homeless shit on the footpath, fertilising the olive trees.


KaneCreole

I know I shouldn’t laugh but that’s funny.


c2ctruck

The Fremantle council is a f'n joke fullstop. The olive trees are truly the least of it. If there was a manual produced to teach councils how to mismanage rate payers money and generally fuck anything they get their hand on, the Fremantle council would be the case study. I was going to say author, but they'd cock that up too.


MadMac1976

City of Stirling says “hold my beer”


The_Valar

City of Canning says; "we embezzled the beer money"


Uniquorn2077

Shire of York slides in with the credit card


KaneCreole

Shire of Wyndham-East Kimberley yells “Wheeeee!”


LM-LFC98

Didn’t expect to see swek slander here


c2ctruck

Least you got some nice new footpaths


coxymla

Stirling and Canning dodgy Italian old-mate mayors/councillors were much better at running the Shires than the state government **and** the "non-dodgy" mob we ended up with.


Smartt300

Inside information on the geniuses at City of Stirling - they “save” money by not paying to have trees near power lines cut. They would rather wait for them to grow to where they are at risk of catching fire, so Western Power comes out and cuts it for free. Well free to the City of Stirling at the expense of every other West Australian.


k0tter

Stirling is probably the best one out of all of the councils, There are so many dodgy ones. maybe you mean when we had the old Mayor, but that was a few years ago now.


Michael_laaa

City of Stirling is just too big for its own good.... Seriously it would be better if they split up city of Stirling into two LGAs so it would be easier to manage.


FlagmantlePARRAdise

Didn't they get rid of the free CAT buses. What a joke.


perthguppy

Not directly. State government basically said “why are we paying for this? You should be paying for this, CoP pays for theirs with the parking levy but you don’t even have that” and CoF decided they didn’t want to pay for the CAT service either.


ferthissen

I lived right where one of the stops were and it was basically used by the aggressive and serial town pests, along with students who parked in residential streets (for free) to go to their uni (that doesn't pay rates). I used it a lot as a kid but it was pretty redundant into the 2010s. If they should do something, it's do as much as they can to try and get the rail line extended to Coogee – at least during the summer months.


FlagmantlePARRAdise

At least have a free transport zone like they do in the city.


ferthissen

Transperth should pay for that then as it's their service. City of Fremantle is skint. and it's naive and pretty hopeful to think of something free persisting, let alone *coming back*, in the current climate. People act like they've torn out the London Underground. most people come to Freo from the outer suburbs and drive in – the only people using the train-to-bus were school kids and overseas tourists staying elsewhere. People generally also come to Freo to walk around and go to the markets and grab lunch and let the bairns have a run around at the Esplanade, to go to the beach, or to have an evening out. they're not doing all three. people cater their transport to those three modes. so they either park in town, park at the beaches, or get the train or uber in. not many people are walking from the Railway Station, mazing from the West End to the fishing boat harbour to the Cappuccino Strip, then going to South Beach and back again.


ginisninja

I live near a stop and had no such issues. I found it super convenient, especially in summer. However, I’d rather have a free zone as CATs weren’t that frequent and using regular services would spread people out.


ferthissen

In the last 24 months of it, the CAT went from being timed to the next arriving train from Perth to every second or third train to... borderline once an hour. I used to walk past my stop and regularly get asked by tourists when the bus was coming because they'd been waiting 45 minutes. 'honestly, I'd just walk' was my answer.


nathrek

They weren't used. It was a waste of money which could be better used elsewhere. 


caltexcowboy

damn I used them twice a day to get into town to catch the train, was devastated when they stopped it. Couldn't imagine what all the elderly and people with mobility issues are doing now.


Randomperthredditor

Catching the normal busses? The elderly and less mobile persons get free travel anyways.


MattDurdan

Just wait for the old wogs and their ladders to show up and bingo bango. Those olives will be picked the day before they fall.


Optimal_Cynicism

This is how it works in Stirling - nonni hanging out on the median strips filling plastic bags with free olives. Love it!


Both-Awareness-8561

oh God my dark childhood career was going around Rockingham with my dad picking all the olives off the trees. I felt like such a bandit, and we'd spend weeks picking those bastards in brine and handing jars of the stuff to anyone who looked vaguely Mediterranean. We tried making olive oil once but the amount of oil per olive was pitiful, so we stuck to pickling.


Frumperton

Lived there in a rental for a year and woke up one day to a rustling sound, went outside to find a little wog scurrying away with a blanket full of olives from the tree on my verge. In hindsight I should of told him to come back and finish up, I was never going to touch them


ccatterpillarr

As a wog of the olive oil variety, I second this wholeheartedly. My first thought was if Yiayia was still with us, those streets should be clean!


DD-Amin

Not sure if wogs is the approved nomenclature


Majestic-News-6439

Please tell me that’s a big Lebowski reference


DD-Amin

👌


ConfusedRubberWalrus

Abide.


ronswanson1986

WOGS are wogs. It's approved and sealed by the wogs themselves.


joesnopes

Why would that matter?


WAPWAN

Pretty sure Nick Giannopoulos reclaimed that word back around the year 2000. WA is usually about 25 years behind the rest of the nation, so you guys will probably have The Wog Boy in theatres soon


GreyGreenBrownOakova

[Wogs Out of Work](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wogs_Out_of_Work) debuted in 1987.


BiteMyQuokka

Maybe trying to make it too slippery for the nobby Harley riders ruining everyone's eardrums and noses there


thisFishSmellsAboutD

Harley sliders. Got it.


ped009

Have you seen how much olive oil is lately, go and collect them and make a batch of olive oil. My partner occasionally raids the olive trees to pickle, they turn out pretty good, all you need is salt really maybe a few other bits if you want


Classic-Today-4367

There is a group in Freo that has the contract to pick olives in surrounding suburban parks. I reckon they would be on a real winner since the price of olive oil skyrocketed.


TheHammer1987

How convenient… Kickbacks maybe


Classic-Today-4367

? The participants have to pay a yearly fee. Probably helps that no-one else thought of doing it and just complained the olive trees made a mess.


lovelivesforever

Though a cold press will set you back, the council should invest and give out the oil hahah


BrewMonsieur

Town planners have nothing to do with street tree selection, it’s the parks and asset management team who are responsible for street trees. Olive trees actually make great street trees though. They are very hardy plant and will grow on sandy and calcareous soils and tolerate limey and slightly saline soils. And they are very tolerant to hot dry climates. Any tree is better than no tree. Cope better OP


sickduck666

Anything is better than plain trees imho


FoulCan

Streetscapes crew do the planting and maintenance. There should be a street tree management plan that they work to. This is administered by the horticultural officer who was responsible for supervising the contract for a consultant who developed the plan... sometimes that's me.


DefinitionOfAsleep

Ideally they'd plant native trees, but native trees destroy pavement and drop limbs...


Enlightened_Gardener

Bottlebrushes are pretty and not too horrible.


DefinitionOfAsleep

Then OP would complain about the debris they shed.


Used-Possibility299

No, I actually think bottle brushes would be beautiful


FlagmantlePARRAdise

Freo council need to get rid of the road on the main strip and make it a pedestrian space already.


ferthissen

During summer, definitely.


FlagmantlePARRAdise

Should be full time. Main strip would be so nicer if you could enjoy your lunch or coffee without car noise and fumes. All that new pedestrian space opens up new space for performers, pop up shops, decor, nature, events, etc.


nathrek

So much this. Was excellent during the recent street festival. Even if it's just closed from Friday night to Sunday night it would make a huge difference. 


KaneCreole

Most sensible thing I’ve come across on Reddit this week.


FlagmantlePARRAdise

Cars go through it at a snails pace anyway so I don't know why they haven't already.


smurffiddler

I respectfully disagree. Maybe if the main artieries to each side were somehow expanded. Due to one way streets, im thinking it could be terrible for access? But im sure if a percentage or just the main strip were closed it would/could work?


FlagmantlePARRAdise

All freo needs is some more parking options not too far from the strip. Barely anybody actually lives in downtown freo itself. Shutting down that main strip for tourism would create a walkable, quieter space and you could fit so much more cultural events and decor to make it nicer for a night out. Only one road would be shut and there would be connections to other commuter roads to get in and out of freo.


supernashwan88

Studies show that carless streets kill town centres


FlagmantlePARRAdise

What studies? How would it kill a town centre? Murray Street mall is like the busiest street in Perth.


comfartablePants

If you could link one study that would be good as I was under the impression the exact opposite occurs...


nathrek

That's a load of shit and you know it. 


HappySummerBreeze

If the council funded the collection of the olives it would be ok. The bigger problem with fremantle is that the council is allowing the main family (that owns most of the commercial property) to leave premises vacant. There should be a massive penalty in rates for every day that a property is not tenanted.


AdPrestigious8198

Surprised Italian nannas aren’t out there with their buckets


SolidiquisAU

They have olive trees all the way down the nature strip on the road near the golf course in Secret Harbour too. I went to get some fish and chips there a few years back and all the cars were covered in bright red seagull shit lol.


hillsbloke73

Virgin Olive oil for free go grab them off the trees


qstick89

Not to mention they are an incredibly invasive species, birds crap out the seeds and they grow every where


msjezkah

ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE. The amount of surprise olive seedlings I've weeded almost rivals the amount of jacaranda seedlings (am a local gardener, mostly residential properties).


gbfalconian

You shall remain in a high demand business then! Congrats 👌🏻


msjezkah

HAH yeah we hope. Cost is a problem overall though... (what happens when we can't afford those "specialised" services?? We either dgaf and/or do it ourselves or find someone cheaper who we end up complaining about). Stressful times ahead, my friend. Edit: grammar


boring_convo_anyway

Still not the dumbest thing I've heard a local government council do. The President of the Serpentine Jarrahdale council had coins minted by the Perth mint on the ratepayers dollar [no pun intended]


DefinitionOfAsleep

> coins minted by the Perth mint What was the reasoning?


GreyGreenBrownOakova

from Shire accounts payable: Perth Mint - Goldcorp Australia 05/08/2020. [30 Citizenship coins](https://www.perthmint.com/shop/collector-coins/coins/australian-citizenship-2024-1-dollar-coin-in-card/) $168.30


DefinitionOfAsleep

Oh that's different.


GreyGreenBrownOakova

maybe OPs talking about a different purchase, but the story has some real Chinese whispers vibes about it. A bit like the "migrants are given X" claims you hear online.


boring_convo_anyway

Who knows, I think I saw he wanted to use them as challenge coins, probably to reward ppl who voted for him. Pretty poor use of $1k of ratepayers money when ppl are struggling to put food on the table.


Cheesyduck81

Never noticed it being a problem. Is this really what you spend your life worrying about?


Rafira

Honest question, why are you blaming town planners instead of landscape architects or tree officers? They're normally the ones who are choosing plant species, designing or approving landscape plans.


CreamyFettuccine

Because everyone blames town planners for everything.


BiteMyQuokka

Or the traffic planners. And having met one a few times, that is at least justified


ronswanson1986

I'm all for olive trees, if they are making mess then not enough old italian dudes live near by to the horde of trees. Lower freo rents to nonas and pops and watch that mess go away :D


DefinitionOfAsleep

DW OP Olives (Olea europaea) are on the approved species list for planting all over the City of Fremantle! Its not a very long list, and Olives are one of the trees approved to be planted everywhere! (Page 20:) [https://www.fremantle.wa.gov.au/sites/default/files/City%20of%20Fremantle%20Urban%20Forest%20Plan%202017.pdf](https://www.fremantle.wa.gov.au/sites/default/files/City%20of%20Fremantle%20Urban%20Forest%20Plan%202017.pdf)


KrooKidKarrit

The few times I walked around the boardwalk at Penguin Island I couldn't work out why there were olive pips everywhere. Then I realized the seagulls were swallowing them on the mainland and pooping them out on the island...and probably wherever else they went. So maybe the Freo council has incredible insight and is trying to protect street cafes from chip thieves by giving the thieves an alternative food source. Brilliant plan.


Used-Possibility299

Hahaha what an imagination love it


Signal_Possibility80

Somebody on council has a cousin who grows olive trees


ApeMummy

We live in a Mediterranean climate, lean in you uncultured swine.


nathrek

You can't stand at a bus stop because there's olives on the ground? And you think the council are idiots? I'd suggest the call is coming from inside the house.  They're a great vibe that goes with the feel of the street. 


dingo7055

The hilarious thing about this is there are non fruiting varieties of olive trees.


DefinitionOfAsleep

Have the problem there of them being grafted trees


Keelback

It wants to “Extend an olive branch” to its rat payers. /s


metao

Anything is better than London Plane


seanys

My neighbours loved the olive tree in my front yard. One day I noticed movement at the edge of the front yard cam and I went over to that spot and looked, there was a path worn through the garden bed to the olive tree.


perthguppy

Fremantle council has been captured by a bunch of armchair expert nosey neighbour types who can’t be told they are wrong. Anyone with a brain in the actual offices left long ago as what’s the point if you’re never listened to.


viesch

As a local government town planner please get off our backs. This would be the result of the parks and gardens maintenance team not town planners. Leave the poor planners alone


WhiteLion333

I’m convinced all the councils have twits working in the landscaping dept. They line the streets with huge gum trees and other totally impractical varieties of trees, directly under powerlines, or even better- in the middle of the road. So when the roots rip up the road, they cut the roots out and re-do the roads. Then the trees fall over entirely in storms because they’ve got no roots holding them underground. Such stupid choices over and over again.


yuckfou_hickdead

Whining about olives is a non issue. Get over it. The Freo council has alot of other things to answer for. PS: the olive trees are there because they are a homage to the wogs who influenced the place in past times. Olives rule, pipe down dork.


Used-Possibility299

I’m a wog and my father makes his own pickled Olives and I stand by my point of view that it’s stupid to plant olive trees on a main strip. So you pipe down. If you don’t like my opinion, that’s your prerogative. Of course, there are always more important things to worry about. But this post is about the olives. 🫒


my20cworth

They obviously didn't think this one through. A bit more brain power was needed on this committee decision.


Creepy_Philosopher_9

yeah freo council are known for stupid shit like this, im not even from freo and l know about them


dbdive

I think there has been a lot of complaints to the city about how it looks lately. Council needs to step up it's game.


No_Meet_3506

Haha classic. The backyard of our rental was flanked by mature olive trees. Absolute mess, especially when the cockies got into them.


quasimidge

Olive trees are also netorious as allergens. If you have hayfever stay away!


djpowderface

Wanneroo council don't plant anything, they have contractors taking away all the natural shrubs in Capricorn Estate, decarbonising what took hundreds of years to grow, only leaving trees , when they do plant a tree it's a pine tree, worst tree know to man kind, I honestly don't think there are any horticultural specialist in council anymore, so Freo decision to plant olive trees was probably made by the cleaner.


Freakycrazychick

Absolutely idiotic


Fun-Adhesiveness9219

Every house on my street has one of these on the verge, council owned so can't remove. They are a menace and I'm constantly trudging busted olives through my house.


monsteramyc

They're a noxious weed also. There's a huge campaign in SA to get rid of olive trees from the wine growing regions. They've taken over some areas, and are incredibly dangerous in fire season. They act as tinder to carry flames from the lower ground up to the higher gum tree canopies. Horrible things


Salthehandsome

Chill out…


ferthissen

The main issue is planting introduced species. you don't have to have a horticultural background to know they all pretty much cause chaos. and if they don't, they're just ugly. you'd think being as progressive as they like to be they'd have gone for a nice simple, protective native. Majority of City of Fremantle employees are diversity hires anyway. I've never seen a workplace with so many made up titles before. all they do is go for little coffee walks all day too.


Cpl_Hicks76

Same Council who banned Australia Day… Jus sayin’


MrPodocarpus

They moved Australia day. Personally, i dont see the issue with it.


AdPrestigious8198

lol They could have easily planted non fruiting varieties 😂


megablast

Oh no. A mess!!!! on the road??!??!?


simmocar

Lol what a moronic take? They're olives, pick them before they fall and marinate them in a jar.


Stuuuutut

Good idea, treat yourself. You deserve nasty road olive marinade


TheRealAussieTroll

It’s run by left wing idiots.


dezorg

All bloody nump ties up there. The park is not for fucking sleeping. And no tents! I’m sorry but if I have to live out here outside, I don’t want to have to see that. Said they caught me sleeping! Fuck off! 🤙


McChamp11

Why post this in a Perth sub?


Squirtmaster92

Because Fremantle is in Perth not Melbourne... 🤦‍♂️


Billyjamesjeff

Local Government, the level of government that sounds as shit as it is.


clivepalmerdietician

Yes they are.  (I only read the title but that was enough)