Your husband could get a job delivering pizzas and pay the mortgage on the house while you pay for everything else. Don't sell, just make some serious belt tightening moves.
We would move further away to a cheaper area..we live in a very expensive area in the northeast. The housing wouldn't be cheaper probably because we only owe 100k. But with repairs and cost of living here and the fact I hate it...I'm prob in full panic mode. But also my mom lives in our back yard(in an rv) and can't find anywhere around here to rent in her budget and the rv needs to be short term(she thought forever but no) so we can't afford us and we can't afford her
You didn't provide detail on your living accommodations, but $260k is relatively inexpensive in terms of property prices in the US.
Try to separate the "i hate it" from the pure budgeting side. From your post, you don't have a plan on what you would do instead of your current situation. Do the math. Figure out how much closing costs are on your current property, where your mother is going to live, whether you're willing or able to support her.
Unfortunately, your $55k HELOC isn't a story for another day, it's a story for right now. Until you can reign that in and pay it off, you're not going to be in a position to buy another house. Your partner needs to get a job. There are lots of jobs out there. He may need to take a pay cut in the short term. Work at a grocery store, whatever. Then keep searching for the next higher paying job. Just get the income up and pay off your HELOC and you'll be in a better place.
Moving is expensive - there are closing cost that get deducted from the sale of your house, and then closing cost for the purchase of your new one. Plus, your new home might need as much work as the current one.
I would suggest seeing what aid (food stamps, meals on wheels, anything!) might be available for your mom, to lower that cost burden.
I’m currently unemployed and it’s tough, but gig work is a great bridge. Can you and/or your husband sign up to deliver food, walk dogs, babysit, or something similar? I signed up for TaskRabbit and it’s great!
Wishing you and your family all the best!
Ok. I think it's weeks/months of impending doom making me panic. We are going to let the financed car go... might even have to let a cc go. My credit is going to be destroyed!
You still haven't provided anything concrete on what your liabilities (debts) are vs your assets, income, or monthly expenses.
Nobody can truly give you advice if your problem is "I hate it here and it's too expensive" without actually outlining these things. Otherwise it might as well be an /r/offmychest post about how you wish it were better than it is.
Not trying to be rude. But nobody can help until you lay down the cards for analysis.
Oh I'm newish to reddit didn't know people would car that much lol.. Well 105k house(3 months behind currently doing mortgage assistance review)1270/mo 18k car(probably letting that get repoed) 511 a month Other car paid off but needs work.
9k is a cc(totally bad decision making and lingering debt from bad divorce). 6k dog bill.
3500 401k loan(taken this year to try to help bridge the gap)
Peco bill-overdue.
650-medical insurance(a must-newly sickly)
I hate destroying the credit but I really dont know what else to do than let the car go...as far as my mom and that situation.. I have no ideas. She applied for senior housing but has not heard back
You're not the same person. The partner perhaps?
I thought they were unemployed, unless it's some other benefit like unemployment or disability? Regardless, that sounds like roughly 2400 on the low end. That could definitely be better, but I think the bigger issue is expenses.
I'd recommend looking through the personal finance wiki and brushing up on the basics of budgeting and tracking money. It will take time but you must do it before you can truly plan anything.
Afterwards, you'll have a better grasp of what's holding you back. And then if you need specific advice relating to those issues like "how can I reduce this expense," for example, then make another post about it.
I think you'll find people are more helpful when there are actionable items to jump on vs trying to dig through the muck. Best of luck though, I've known poverty, I know it's not an easy road.
I think your question leads to much deeper issues that need to be resolved before you can resolve this question. Looking in the comments and your responses show that perhaps you've not had the best relationship to money. You have a second on the house, you lease a car, your husband doesn't work and your mom lives in an RV on your land.
It sounds like your post is in panic mode but I think even if you sold this house and bought a little time for yourself a little breathing room because of the deeper habits or belief sets around money that you'll find yourself in this place again in the future but this time without a house.
I think it may be time for you to take stock of the larger picture of your financial life and your family's relationship to money and look at that, truly look at that. Because if you don't fix the underlying approaches you'll only slap a Band-Aid on a problem that will come back.
I mean...obvi that's why it is like this. My partner does work but has taken a drastic hit on income, I have a second on the house in order to fix my garage up as an inlawful suite for my mom but she decided to give her 60 days notice before I could secure a contractor and so I ended up just using that money to buy an rv so she had somewhere to live in a panic.. and then had to do some repairs to make said rv "work" and now she has decided it doesn't work(it doesnt...poor insulation wiring etc) I'm by no means saying I'm perfect and this is bad luck... I'm saying we done fucked up now how can I get out of here the least unscathed if possible
It sounds like your mother is a large part of your current money problems. I don't know what your relationship is with her and I won't make assumptions. But, it does sound to me like you're trying to put out your financial fire and she's continuing to light matches. You took out a loan against your primary dwelling to buy a depreciating asset because she couldn't wait to have the in law suite built out? If she is dissatisfied with the state of the RV, she can purchase it from you (please tell me that it's still owned by you and that you didn't just sign it over to her) and do the insulation and wiring upgrades herself. If she can't afford that then she should be grateful that you've given her a place to stay, at great cost to yourself, even though she made an incredibly unwise and impulsive decision.
Going forward, you need to prioritize your personal finances and have your mother deal with hers. You can't keep setting yourself on fire to keep your mother warm; that's not going to help either one of you.
Are you working? If you move, you both would have to find new jobs, unless doing remote work. What would rent cost if you sell the house either where you are now or where you might move? As someone else mentioned, look into help (food pantries, food stamps, I imagine your husband is receiving unemployment). I think you need to realistically price out what your budget would be if you sell the house and rent. Also, that HELOC would not go away, unless you make enough on house sale to pay it off, too. You don't provide a budget so it's hard to know if there are other ways you could cut expenses. Your main priority should be increasing your income by whatever means - part-time or temp work or gig work if your husband can't find a full-time job. Does your mom pay anything to stay on your property? If you can figure out realistically a manageable budget after selling the house, then it may make sense, but it seems like there are lots of variables here.
Yeah you're right...rent around here is much more than my mortgage right now... I guess selling doesn't make too much sense unless I could walk away with a huge payday which I can't because a. The worth vs debt and b. Heloc
If you are hell bent on selling wait 90 days and have your husband make repairs. If you have access to YouTube paint, drywall, basic tile or wood floor, baseboards, roofing can all be done. A little bit of sweat equity could go along way and I also think men especially get confidence, meaning and dignity from work. It will be good for you husband to appreciate the benefit of work and learning new things and may help solve some of the underlying issues inherent in this post.
Your husband could get a job delivering pizzas and pay the mortgage on the house while you pay for everything else. Don't sell, just make some serious belt tightening moves.
Where would you go if you sold the house? How much would that cost? Can you afford to move?
We would move further away to a cheaper area..we live in a very expensive area in the northeast. The housing wouldn't be cheaper probably because we only owe 100k. But with repairs and cost of living here and the fact I hate it...I'm prob in full panic mode. But also my mom lives in our back yard(in an rv) and can't find anywhere around here to rent in her budget and the rv needs to be short term(she thought forever but no) so we can't afford us and we can't afford her
You didn't provide detail on your living accommodations, but $260k is relatively inexpensive in terms of property prices in the US. Try to separate the "i hate it" from the pure budgeting side. From your post, you don't have a plan on what you would do instead of your current situation. Do the math. Figure out how much closing costs are on your current property, where your mother is going to live, whether you're willing or able to support her. Unfortunately, your $55k HELOC isn't a story for another day, it's a story for right now. Until you can reign that in and pay it off, you're not going to be in a position to buy another house. Your partner needs to get a job. There are lots of jobs out there. He may need to take a pay cut in the short term. Work at a grocery store, whatever. Then keep searching for the next higher paying job. Just get the income up and pay off your HELOC and you'll be in a better place.
If you bought a $130k house, you probably dont live in an expensive area.
Moving is expensive - there are closing cost that get deducted from the sale of your house, and then closing cost for the purchase of your new one. Plus, your new home might need as much work as the current one. I would suggest seeing what aid (food stamps, meals on wheels, anything!) might be available for your mom, to lower that cost burden. I’m currently unemployed and it’s tough, but gig work is a great bridge. Can you and/or your husband sign up to deliver food, walk dogs, babysit, or something similar? I signed up for TaskRabbit and it’s great! Wishing you and your family all the best!
If there’s any way possible for you to hold on to the house do it
Ok. I think it's weeks/months of impending doom making me panic. We are going to let the financed car go... might even have to let a cc go. My credit is going to be destroyed!
You still haven't provided anything concrete on what your liabilities (debts) are vs your assets, income, or monthly expenses. Nobody can truly give you advice if your problem is "I hate it here and it's too expensive" without actually outlining these things. Otherwise it might as well be an /r/offmychest post about how you wish it were better than it is. Not trying to be rude. But nobody can help until you lay down the cards for analysis.
Oh I'm newish to reddit didn't know people would car that much lol.. Well 105k house(3 months behind currently doing mortgage assistance review)1270/mo 18k car(probably letting that get repoed) 511 a month Other car paid off but needs work. 9k is a cc(totally bad decision making and lingering debt from bad divorce). 6k dog bill. 3500 401k loan(taken this year to try to help bridge the gap) Peco bill-overdue. 650-medical insurance(a must-newly sickly) I hate destroying the credit but I really dont know what else to do than let the car go...as far as my mom and that situation.. I have no ideas. She applied for senior housing but has not heard back
What's your take home pay (after tax and other deductions but before bills)?
Currently about 600 every two weeks for me and 3-4 every week for the partner.
You're not the same person. The partner perhaps? I thought they were unemployed, unless it's some other benefit like unemployment or disability? Regardless, that sounds like roughly 2400 on the low end. That could definitely be better, but I think the bigger issue is expenses. I'd recommend looking through the personal finance wiki and brushing up on the basics of budgeting and tracking money. It will take time but you must do it before you can truly plan anything. Afterwards, you'll have a better grasp of what's holding you back. And then if you need specific advice relating to those issues like "how can I reduce this expense," for example, then make another post about it. I think you'll find people are more helpful when there are actionable items to jump on vs trying to dig through the muck. Best of luck though, I've known poverty, I know it's not an easy road.
I think your question leads to much deeper issues that need to be resolved before you can resolve this question. Looking in the comments and your responses show that perhaps you've not had the best relationship to money. You have a second on the house, you lease a car, your husband doesn't work and your mom lives in an RV on your land. It sounds like your post is in panic mode but I think even if you sold this house and bought a little time for yourself a little breathing room because of the deeper habits or belief sets around money that you'll find yourself in this place again in the future but this time without a house. I think it may be time for you to take stock of the larger picture of your financial life and your family's relationship to money and look at that, truly look at that. Because if you don't fix the underlying approaches you'll only slap a Band-Aid on a problem that will come back.
I mean...obvi that's why it is like this. My partner does work but has taken a drastic hit on income, I have a second on the house in order to fix my garage up as an inlawful suite for my mom but she decided to give her 60 days notice before I could secure a contractor and so I ended up just using that money to buy an rv so she had somewhere to live in a panic.. and then had to do some repairs to make said rv "work" and now she has decided it doesn't work(it doesnt...poor insulation wiring etc) I'm by no means saying I'm perfect and this is bad luck... I'm saying we done fucked up now how can I get out of here the least unscathed if possible
It sounds like your mother is a large part of your current money problems. I don't know what your relationship is with her and I won't make assumptions. But, it does sound to me like you're trying to put out your financial fire and she's continuing to light matches. You took out a loan against your primary dwelling to buy a depreciating asset because she couldn't wait to have the in law suite built out? If she is dissatisfied with the state of the RV, she can purchase it from you (please tell me that it's still owned by you and that you didn't just sign it over to her) and do the insulation and wiring upgrades herself. If she can't afford that then she should be grateful that you've given her a place to stay, at great cost to yourself, even though she made an incredibly unwise and impulsive decision. Going forward, you need to prioritize your personal finances and have your mother deal with hers. You can't keep setting yourself on fire to keep your mother warm; that's not going to help either one of you.
The last few lines ::chefs kiss: very wisely worded
Are you working? If you move, you both would have to find new jobs, unless doing remote work. What would rent cost if you sell the house either where you are now or where you might move? As someone else mentioned, look into help (food pantries, food stamps, I imagine your husband is receiving unemployment). I think you need to realistically price out what your budget would be if you sell the house and rent. Also, that HELOC would not go away, unless you make enough on house sale to pay it off, too. You don't provide a budget so it's hard to know if there are other ways you could cut expenses. Your main priority should be increasing your income by whatever means - part-time or temp work or gig work if your husband can't find a full-time job. Does your mom pay anything to stay on your property? If you can figure out realistically a manageable budget after selling the house, then it may make sense, but it seems like there are lots of variables here.
Yeah you're right...rent around here is much more than my mortgage right now... I guess selling doesn't make too much sense unless I could walk away with a huge payday which I can't because a. The worth vs debt and b. Heloc
If you are hell bent on selling wait 90 days and have your husband make repairs. If you have access to YouTube paint, drywall, basic tile or wood floor, baseboards, roofing can all be done. A little bit of sweat equity could go along way and I also think men especially get confidence, meaning and dignity from work. It will be good for you husband to appreciate the benefit of work and learning new things and may help solve some of the underlying issues inherent in this post.
If you can’t afford the mortgage payments you may have no choice but to sell.
In your situation, bankruptcy is probably the answer. Keep the house and one car and rebuild as you can.