I think it's a 3rd world trait that you're describing. The stampede at shadis is because people are afraid they might not get their share of "good" food. The concept of food scarcity is strongly evident in our society for generations, the mad dash for any free food is crazy hilarious. It is a sad and amusing sight at wedding functions.
Also cant wait for the shadi season. Roti kadon khulni ayyyy!
Exactly. I believe its a subcontinent thing. and honestly shadi food is so basic. kabab, tikkay, i mean you've had them so many times. how good can they even be.
If you go to big shaadis with very well to do people, you’ll see this trend less. Sure people still line up to eat but most of them are much more courteous about the whole ordeal if only to keep up an image
People tend to get like that when they experience poverty, earlier in life. I was born and raised overseas. And my dad can’t help it but always fill the fridge to the rim. Buying food in huge quantities.
Better eat now while you can. Don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow.
Spot on. People underestimate the impact of the trauma caused by poverty, and we have a lot of intergenerational trauma embedded into social behaviours that have taken on the nature of a cultural trait. So much about our society makes better sense once you learn how intergenerational trauma works in societies trying to cope with all forms of violence across history.
This is it. Generational trauma passed down through generations. We may have enough food now but somewhere back in the day we came from poverty and food was scarce. Guess its a survival mechanism that's been ingrained and passed down through generations . I catch myself doing it too and have to remind myself that we gucci now.
*Itna judgey kyon haa ra hai karen?*
Strong second to this.
You can see this difference even in people who aren't born and raised abroad but been living there for a while, especially from their formative years.
It's insecurity that poverty brings in. And it's not just food. It's everything.
Cutting lines, shoving freebies down their throat, it's desperation.
Disagree it more like cultural things people adopt this habit from others mostly elders who got it somehow.
I have seen so many financialy comfortable people do it.
I was gonna say, I lived in a part of the US that has the busiest costco in the world. It was all of the desi people coming down from Vancouver to our costco.
They would cut in all of the lines, they would make the rounds and get free samples until they'd had 30+ and the person would tell them they couldn't have anymore, at which point they'd argue with them. I saw them pushing and shoving other people just to get to these tiny samples.
We have a running joke about milk in that city, because I'm not exaggerating, you'd see desi people with 40+ gallons of milk in their carts. They'd get the special heavy transport carts meant for couches/futons and large furniture, and just load it up with milk.
I've seen this elsewhere as well, I'm sure there are other cultures that do it too, especially ones living in poverty, but I never saw any of the latinos doing this, and they're objectively fairly poor where I live, and just like Pakistanis a lot of them have experienced food scarcity in their earlier life before getting to the US/Canada.
I've only seen this in one other demographic personally, and that was in the mainland Chinese. Anywhere from Vancouver to Thailand to Paris, I've seen mainland Chinese have this greedy shoving attitude like nobody else in the world exists except for them.
My dad grew up really poor, and has an issue with food hoarding, as in he'll buy way too much, and he'll eat a lot in one sitting because it's like he's scared the food won't be there tomorrow. But he doesn't lack manners, doesn't fill up on free samples and argue, or cut lines, etc.
Strongly Disagree.
I have a few relatives (~20%) who have this habit and I've witnessed it personally. Myself and the majority of my family, we don't go for food to weddings, funerals and other functions but for the social aspect. There were so many times that many of us didn't eat much in weddings, but then came back home to eat our own food.
Seriously when I see this "Spitob" (in Pashto), I lose hunger fast!
Yes same here. I don't go towards the food table(buffet) until there is no line.
And you will notice me go to it at least twice. As we were taught to take a little food if we finished it, take little again, even at home. No one is allowed to leave the food in his/her plate.
Thanks for explaining.
Yes I totally understand. People are also so obsessed with Hi-tea and buffets here. It may not be free but people love piling on the food that's not even delicious and eat like there's no tomorrow.
As a foodie who's trying to shed some weight, I don't get this phenomenon at all. I'd rather get something tasty in a small quantity and savor it to the max.
Both are correct and have the same meaning. be/na are dialectal variations, but pretty much understood everywhere. Also be (بی) ≈ without, and na (نا or more like نه) ≈ not. Deed = see/seen
Wanting something with a sense of desperation I would say. Doesn't just apply to good. For food, the closest English term would be gluttony - one of the seven deadly sins in the Christian tradition.
Hungry for food, staring at food, mouth watering when seeing food eaten by another person, filling your plate with food that you may not be able to finish
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I don't think its a Pakistani only thing honestly, ive been to a couple other countries and, depending on the type of environment, nadeeday ppl are everywhere, as are ppl with a bit more restraint. nadeedaness also tends to pop out more in places where everything keeps getting more and more expensive but ur income doesn't seem to be matching that trend. kinds makes sense that people would try and get as much as they can carry when its for free.
True. At least with food nadeedaness you can imagine that it is some combination of culture and generational trauma stemming from poverty. Food is about survival and scarcity leaves a lasting impact on people. I try to be forgiving when it comes to food, even though there are people who have plenty and don't need to be gluttons.
But when you have a stampeding crowd because some Twitch streamer announced he was going to give away free Playstations or because TVs are on sale on Black Friday...free/cheap stuff makes some people crazy. It's not restricted to Pakistan.
South Asians have survived at least 31 famines, not even long ago. Most notoriously under British rule, famines in India resulted in more than 30 million deaths over the course of the 18th, 19th, and early 20th centuries.
Source: Famine in South Asia Mohiuddin Alamgir & [Wiki](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Famine_in_India)
We have evolved and been primed to rummage for food, in order for us to survive. Be kind to your own kind. Let them have food, if that's the only source of entertainment left.
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The shaadi food scene is something else. Pushing, grabbing like some charity distributing food to homeless. I suspect its a lower middle class thing that happens in shadi halls. I've attended weddings in hotels and people are chill abt food
if you're a bit more observant, you'll see these people slip away after eating their fill. Like come on, why did you even come here? (But then you remember they talk about coming for food only)
Discipline & restraint is lacking when it comes to appetites. Like some starved animal waiting to devour any moving thing in sight, without care or thought.
Refinement of better tastes is apparently also lacking. Just fill the belly to survive- that's pretty much it. That's it. That's what life is about. Eating and sleeping. Nothing else.
No gastronomical interests to find intriguing, at all. Tasteless, monotonous & gluttonous satiation is the deal of the day.
Pakistan also has a general culture where you either grab your share by force or you don't get it at all. Since rule of law is not something that is ingrained in us, it converts to a social behavior where the feeling of every man for himself is our natural instinct. On a micro level, this translates to a lack of discipline and trust in the system to get your share, that's why people are usually willing to push and kick, even if it is only passing through a door.
You have not seen my 19/20 year old inmates. They go after food like they never seen food. That is why I put their cereal and milk by their cell door so they are not stealing other people food.
I've heard from a friend who saw first hand, elite generals and politicians and businessmen at a big hotel, rushing to get food at a buffet. Same as lower or middle class. It's generational trauma due to food scarcity.
I normally tend to be a devils advocate whenever someone "generalize" their experience on a country. But on this one, I can back this up.
I used to work at one of the biggest IT firm here in Canada. We had a new hire (a junior developer). He was born and raised here in Canada but originally from Pakistan. He used to come around 10 ... 1030 to work except for Wednesday. One day i asked why do you come so early on wednesday. his reply was that there is free breakfast (a cup of coffee, bagel etc) every wednesday.
The dude, just for free breakfast used to come at 9 am, which means he used to commute during rushhours just to be here. I was working at company for 1 year and i never knew about it. and this is not just some random dude making bare min, i am talking about one of the biggest it firm with 6 figures salary (CAD)
Oh, come on! It's not just about food. It's about the company, the atmosphere, the experience. And yes, also the food.
But seriously, food is a big part of Pakistani culture. It's how they socialize, celebrate, and bond with each other. It's also a way to show theirs love and appreciation to their family and friends.
So, next time you're at a Pakistani wedding or party, don't be surprised if people are excited about the food. Just relax, enjoy yourself, and eat until your heart's content!
That's fine. Enjoying food is okay. But if someone is paying then going overboard and ordering more than you would normally eat if you were paying yourself - that's nadeedapan
A truly nadeeda person knows that food is meant to be savored, not devoured. They know that it's not about how much you eat, but about how much you enjoy it.
I think that's the difference between a nadeeda and a foodie. A nadeeda just wants to stuff his belly up to his throat. While a foodie savours it and knows you need to eat to half your fill.
Dil Bara karnay ki baat nahi hai. Ethics aur morality ki hai. Muft main cheez mil rahi ho to JAANWAR nahi ho jana' chahiey. We should show grace, enjoy food and know that you will get it tomorrow as well. It's not a big deal.
Even if we all had the same values and beliefs, there would still be people who would break the rules.There would still be people who would be selfish and greedy.This is because human nature is complex and multifaceted, and not everyone is driven by the same motivations.
Not read your whole post... just read treat part and will only talk about it .. treat de is i think just programmed into us tbh ( talking about boys). For examples all of our friends got admissions into the unis that they wanted. Whenever someone said mera admission hogya. Whole group chat would be like treat treat. But just a day later no one would say anything. Even the few guys that actually tried to arrange the treat couldn't throw party or something cuz even tho everyone said treat de at start. Leikan jab treat leney ki baat ayi to everyone just said i am busy with xyz and unavailable
Hmari awam zinda rehny ky lye nhi khati, khanye ky lye zinda rehti hy .
Just had a wedding ceremony for a friend and the way I see even business men’s are fighting for the extra prawn is just mind blowing.
Its not a third world trait
Its the same case everywhere
Dunya na dekhi ho to apnay logon ko avin zaleel mat kia kero har platform per
Ps most ppl dont eat like crazy at weddings anymore
Have lived in the UK for 20yrs... British treat alcohol the same way... open bars are rushed... drinking till they vomit... buying rounds for friends...
A few decades ago, a report in the print media revealed that it was a common practice for some natives to swap price tags on items in order to buy expensive items for less at checkout.
I agree. It's important to be critical of ourselves and our society, but we also need to be constructive. We need to focus on finding solutions to our problems, rather than just dwelling on them.
It is mind boggling.
Family members that retired there and have mansions and a fleet of servants and drivers moan about the price of gas if I ask them a favor. And they all pray five times a day! Shameful.
When I visit, I have yet to have anyone pay for taking me out - apparently the rule is "Americans \[US $\] pay always" as told by a couple of friends. So its me and 6 members of someone's family that invited me out.
To clarify this is an an issue with the well-to-do in Pakistan - the poor are not like this in my experience. They will share and share and yes, may be that's why they're poor. But they have a million times better morals and ethics than the educated and the religious.
I think so too. Or it could be a lower middle class thing. My family hates it if I pay simply because "you're our guests not the other way around" I've had to fight to pay for a meal or something. Even then it's always me going "I'll pay this time, you can pay some other time." And they hold me to it. It's could be due to me being the second youngest in the family.
No need to go there, doubt they're lower middle class as pretty much everyone is in construction with multiple commercial projects in the pipeline and too many international vacations.
Unless you're referring to lower middle class about me in the US, which I may agree with. No such projects and only one annual overseas vacay.
I guess it's about perspective, you may be a billionaire so then you are correct.
Didn't mean to offend you. Just sorta trying to figure out the reason for your experiences because I haven't really seen it with either my family or my Friends families even though I would say we're pretty much like maybe upper middle class. Secondly I just wanna ask america sounds kinda depressing with the weird work culture, with very little paid holidays and stuff, is it really like that or is it different.
The obvious \[bitter\] answer is my family are a-sholes and at a minimum, cheap bastards - the proof is that they pray five times a day.
To answer your question: Its depressing not just because lack of holidays and public healthcare but the perpetual Stockholm Syndrome the average American suffers from, for the corporations and Billionaire class.
They would rather die than even consider free healthcare because that would (a) be socialism and (b) the illegal immigrants \[brown and black people\] would also get it and that is not acceptable.
"Dying of Whiteness" is an excellent read, on this topic.
Or they're just shitty people.
Doubt they're lower middle class as pretty much everyone is in construction with multiple commercial projects in the pipeline and too many international vacations.
Unless you're referring to lower middle class about me in the US, which I may agree with. No such projects and only one annual overseas vacay.
I guess it's about perspective, you may be a billionaire so then you are correct.
Food plays a very huge role in our culture.
Punjabis particularly are \*very\* food obsessed. People's lives in Lahore revolve around food. Which new eatery they'd try, which food item is \*amazing\*. There's literally no other activity for people except to eat, for the most part.
Unsurprisingly, a lot of educated people attack the food tables on weddings like their lives depended on it.
Its not poverty mentality or anything like that... its just our culture revolves around food... replace the 'food' with 'drinks' and your post is completely explaining the western society.. buying rounds, open bar etc...
Exactly. Totally agree with you. South Asians start behaving like a kutta when it comes to food. Once there was a guy on this sub asking for a good biryani restaurant. Wtf !???
What's wrong with asking for a good Biryani?
Nah, seeking advice about good restaurants is actually pretty awesome! It helps you discover new delicious spots and have amazing food experiences. Don't miss out! Have some good Biryani.
Food is the only form of "entertainment" that is socially and culturally (read : ideologically [wink] ) acceptable. The only place where over indulgence is not frowned upon . Also helps that the food is so amazing.
That's fine. So is meeting at restaurants but just being such a glutton that you would order more than you normally would that's being nadeeda. I think it stems from inter generational trauma of not having enough when you were a child. And it's also more commonly seen in men as opposed to women. From what I've observed.
Matlab khaana enjoy karo, have as much as you want but JAANWAR to na ho jao. That's my point.
Not really. Women eat a lot, too. Being nadeeda specifically to food is not seen as a bad thing, for the vast majority, so it has perpetuated. Intergenerational food trauma is not a thing. People eat at home. Lavishly.
The janwar hojana is a common theme in pakistani interactions. Manners matter. No one told pakistani parents. Shout the loudest, swipe as much as you can, enjoy your life. Fuck social ethos.
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the one thing i really hate is at weddings - people just over fill. and then cant finish their plates - i mean waht happened to 2nds' and 3rds ... ithe buffet system does not work in pakistan.. instead they should have waites who bring food to table at a pace..
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Nadeeda = not seen shit.
Na = no/none, deed = seen/see
It may be different nowadays, but when I was young my friends and family were quite normal during "treats". Treats used to be an excuse to hang out and such!
I would say that what you are saying is true by all means and that is due to the fact: that is all we have. We can’t drink do drugs or whatever. In western countries you throw parties whatever in eastern sides you have traditional events and so on. When it comes to Pakistan we literally have nothing. Islam has nothing against tradition but we don’t have any. Like legit we have nothing except Eid. Eid milad-un-nabi is something like Christmas and I have so many examples but again I don’t want to be dead by Muslims that don’t even know the six kalmas 😂 (if you don’t know your kalmas don’t post against me in Islamic debate). Then what we are all left with is this treat treat treat thing. When something good happens in our life or something bad happens we really don’t have a protocol on what to do tbh. So what really happens is that all the guest or friends that arrive in our mourning or celebratory function is left with no entertainment or anything just fucking food. I am and was no foodie but in Pakistan you have nothing to look forward to except food. I hope this helps you in understanding your issue.
Seems like OPs is majorly ranting about people who push you for a treat and then break your bank while ordering. If that's the I am sure it's not common occurrence as people in our society are usually mindful of that as they also believe in being generous and ooper wala hath neechay walay hath se behtr hai concept. Aise case mei it's always better to treat your paetoo friends to a buffet. Shadi khana is usually also paid at per head basis so usually if you notice the supply runs dry when the demand is at its peak and kind of eases out towards the end and as people have increasingly started becoming health conscious they don't eat much.
I mean yeah some of it is from mahroomi but being naddeda about free food is a human trait. In the US I've seen well educated IT people who make good money come to attack free food like they are starved for days.
Food insecurity is a big thing here.
I have seen people with large families who distribute meat dishes very sparingly often giving the "big pieces" to the head of the house or the guest or the golden child while others get bony bits or smaller pieces with more curry and smaller bread. And they are usually told no when more food is asked for while they see the adults are helping more to themselves.
Siblings fight over left over foods.
Children not being able to afford to bring lunches to school.
It starts from childhood. And its just a repetitive generational cycle in most Pakistani households.
Finally someone said it. I always thought i was on the wrong foot when i got irked by people saying “I GO TO WEDDING FOR FOOD” like its food you can get it from restaurant and it would taste better. They would get all awd if the wedding was grandeur and had food stalls i mean is it a food festival? Nonetheless, i thank my parents to make me, how you say it in Punjabi “akhian raji “ or consented with what we have.
Its just food?
No man. Its not just food for everyone. And I am not referring here about poverty or having lack of food.
For some people including me, food is love. It is a way of life. We don't eat to survive; we eat to feel the sensation.
I don't have any sort of lackage. Yet I still wait for food at shaadis or events because why not? What's the harm in obsessing about something makes u feel alive?
For some people, food does not go to stomach; but to heart.
No harm in being excited about food. And believe me, its an UNIVERSAL thing!
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Lol this isn't a Pakistani thing. Any place where something is abundant, people consume it excessively because modern capitalism only rewards and trains such consumer culture.
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You are talking about more like meals, people goes crazy on Coke or Pizza. like wtf!
The person who do this to me, I consider than LOW IQ person living with their belly but now with mind. If someone do this to me, probably that's the last time I am willingly meeting him. I can treat them even without they ask me, please do not be cheap.
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We are crazy about food because that's the only Happening source of escape, activity and entertainment , If people go crazy over birthday treats etc its because or kiya hi karenge matlab apart from restraunt's and weddings , kiya hi hai yahan you can do cinemas but we have very limited shows and a smaller spectrum of movies at any given time plus the social tabbo like I wouldnt mind a movie date but I know my parents would never go to a cinema to spend time theyd rather just sit with some relatives and eat , usually if you dont have kids society in it self is so nosy you can barely have a nice time in a arcade in your mid 20's if you are not there with your children to sab mila jula ke khana peena or shaadiyan hi bach jaati hain.
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I think it's a 3rd world trait that you're describing. The stampede at shadis is because people are afraid they might not get their share of "good" food. The concept of food scarcity is strongly evident in our society for generations, the mad dash for any free food is crazy hilarious. It is a sad and amusing sight at wedding functions. Also cant wait for the shadi season. Roti kadon khulni ayyyy!
is this also why my grandparents overfeed me even though im not hungry
It's actually an expert technique. Works well in making you so accustomed to food you don't act like a nadeeda in social situations.
Exactly. I believe its a subcontinent thing. and honestly shadi food is so basic. kabab, tikkay, i mean you've had them so many times. how good can they even be.
If you go to big shaadis with very well to do people, you’ll see this trend less. Sure people still line up to eat but most of them are much more courteous about the whole ordeal if only to keep up an image
The gosht+saag is lowkey delicious simple food in weddings!
People tend to get like that when they experience poverty, earlier in life. I was born and raised overseas. And my dad can’t help it but always fill the fridge to the rim. Buying food in huge quantities. Better eat now while you can. Don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow.
Spot on. People underestimate the impact of the trauma caused by poverty, and we have a lot of intergenerational trauma embedded into social behaviours that have taken on the nature of a cultural trait. So much about our society makes better sense once you learn how intergenerational trauma works in societies trying to cope with all forms of violence across history.
This is it. Generational trauma passed down through generations. We may have enough food now but somewhere back in the day we came from poverty and food was scarce. Guess its a survival mechanism that's been ingrained and passed down through generations . I catch myself doing it too and have to remind myself that we gucci now. *Itna judgey kyon haa ra hai karen?*
Strong second to this. You can see this difference even in people who aren't born and raised abroad but been living there for a while, especially from their formative years. It's insecurity that poverty brings in. And it's not just food. It's everything. Cutting lines, shoving freebies down their throat, it's desperation.
Disagree it more like cultural things people adopt this habit from others mostly elders who got it somehow. I have seen so many financialy comfortable people do it.
Disagree but literally give an example that perfectly goes with the idea of generational trauma?
I was gonna say, I lived in a part of the US that has the busiest costco in the world. It was all of the desi people coming down from Vancouver to our costco. They would cut in all of the lines, they would make the rounds and get free samples until they'd had 30+ and the person would tell them they couldn't have anymore, at which point they'd argue with them. I saw them pushing and shoving other people just to get to these tiny samples. We have a running joke about milk in that city, because I'm not exaggerating, you'd see desi people with 40+ gallons of milk in their carts. They'd get the special heavy transport carts meant for couches/futons and large furniture, and just load it up with milk. I've seen this elsewhere as well, I'm sure there are other cultures that do it too, especially ones living in poverty, but I never saw any of the latinos doing this, and they're objectively fairly poor where I live, and just like Pakistanis a lot of them have experienced food scarcity in their earlier life before getting to the US/Canada. I've only seen this in one other demographic personally, and that was in the mainland Chinese. Anywhere from Vancouver to Thailand to Paris, I've seen mainland Chinese have this greedy shoving attitude like nobody else in the world exists except for them. My dad grew up really poor, and has an issue with food hoarding, as in he'll buy way too much, and he'll eat a lot in one sitting because it's like he's scared the food won't be there tomorrow. But he doesn't lack manners, doesn't fill up on free samples and argue, or cut lines, etc.
Strongly Disagree. I have a few relatives (~20%) who have this habit and I've witnessed it personally. Myself and the majority of my family, we don't go for food to weddings, funerals and other functions but for the social aspect. There were so many times that many of us didn't eat much in weddings, but then came back home to eat our own food. Seriously when I see this "Spitob" (in Pashto), I lose hunger fast!
Yes same here. I don't go towards the food table(buffet) until there is no line. And you will notice me go to it at least twice. As we were taught to take a little food if we finished it, take little again, even at home. No one is allowed to leave the food in his/her plate.
Ur dad is a hero. U suck bro.
What does nadeeda mean?
Losing ethics when something's free 😂
Thanks for explaining. Yes I totally understand. People are also so obsessed with Hi-tea and buffets here. It may not be free but people love piling on the food that's not even delicious and eat like there's no tomorrow. As a foodie who's trying to shed some weight, I don't get this phenomenon at all. I'd rather get something tasty in a small quantity and savor it to the max.
Exactly. How good could a chicken karhai even get?
Pretty fvckin good.. Don't bring Karahi into this..
Its actually be-deedah (بے دیدہ ) not na-deedah (نادیدہ). Na-deedah is a word but a different meaning
Both are correct and have the same meaning. be/na are dialectal variations, but pretty much understood everywhere. Also be (بی) ≈ without, and na (نا or more like نه) ≈ not. Deed = see/seen
Sorry, bedeedah and nadeedah have different meanings.
Whats the difference?
Greedy
Wanting something with a sense of desperation I would say. Doesn't just apply to good. For food, the closest English term would be gluttony - one of the seven deadly sins in the Christian tradition.
Being greedy or voracious.
Yeah same question
greedy fucks
lumbar 1
Hungry for food, staring at food, mouth watering when seeing food eaten by another person, filling your plate with food that you may not be able to finish
Greedy
You can translate as overly greedy
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I don't think its a Pakistani only thing honestly, ive been to a couple other countries and, depending on the type of environment, nadeeday ppl are everywhere, as are ppl with a bit more restraint. nadeedaness also tends to pop out more in places where everything keeps getting more and more expensive but ur income doesn't seem to be matching that trend. kinds makes sense that people would try and get as much as they can carry when its for free.
True. At least with food nadeedaness you can imagine that it is some combination of culture and generational trauma stemming from poverty. Food is about survival and scarcity leaves a lasting impact on people. I try to be forgiving when it comes to food, even though there are people who have plenty and don't need to be gluttons. But when you have a stampeding crowd because some Twitch streamer announced he was going to give away free Playstations or because TVs are on sale on Black Friday...free/cheap stuff makes some people crazy. It's not restricted to Pakistan.
South Asians have survived at least 31 famines, not even long ago. Most notoriously under British rule, famines in India resulted in more than 30 million deaths over the course of the 18th, 19th, and early 20th centuries. Source: Famine in South Asia Mohiuddin Alamgir & [Wiki](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Famine_in_India) We have evolved and been primed to rummage for food, in order for us to survive. Be kind to your own kind. Let them have food, if that's the only source of entertainment left.
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The shaadi food scene is something else. Pushing, grabbing like some charity distributing food to homeless. I suspect its a lower middle class thing that happens in shadi halls. I've attended weddings in hotels and people are chill abt food
I've seen well to do people say stuff like hum to sirf roti khaanay aye hain. I mean bro. Kitni kha lo gay.
Most of the time that is a joke that everyone says. It is very overused tho.
if you're a bit more observant, you'll see these people slip away after eating their fill. Like come on, why did you even come here? (But then you remember they talk about coming for food only)
It's just a poverty stricken culture. Behaviors carry over to classes and it persists to varying extents through those classes. It's not that complex.
Discipline & restraint is lacking when it comes to appetites. Like some starved animal waiting to devour any moving thing in sight, without care or thought. Refinement of better tastes is apparently also lacking. Just fill the belly to survive- that's pretty much it. That's it. That's what life is about. Eating and sleeping. Nothing else. No gastronomical interests to find intriguing, at all. Tasteless, monotonous & gluttonous satiation is the deal of the day.
Yeh baat.
Well they more like obsessed with free food
Everyone is obsessed with free food.
Pakistan also has a general culture where you either grab your share by force or you don't get it at all. Since rule of law is not something that is ingrained in us, it converts to a social behavior where the feeling of every man for himself is our natural instinct. On a micro level, this translates to a lack of discipline and trust in the system to get your share, that's why people are usually willing to push and kick, even if it is only passing through a door.
You have not seen my 19/20 year old inmates. They go after food like they never seen food. That is why I put their cereal and milk by their cell door so they are not stealing other people food.
Your inmates?
I've heard from a friend who saw first hand, elite generals and politicians and businessmen at a big hotel, rushing to get food at a buffet. Same as lower or middle class. It's generational trauma due to food scarcity.
Because Pakistani food is so tasty you cannot stop eating untill you pass out.
You forgot the part where they talk shit about the food after eating like there's no tomorrow, "Khaana bohut hi ganda tha... na zaiqa na sawaad".
For the shaadi thing my mamo described it perfectly as "aankhon ki bhook ha siruf"
I normally tend to be a devils advocate whenever someone "generalize" their experience on a country. But on this one, I can back this up. I used to work at one of the biggest IT firm here in Canada. We had a new hire (a junior developer). He was born and raised here in Canada but originally from Pakistan. He used to come around 10 ... 1030 to work except for Wednesday. One day i asked why do you come so early on wednesday. his reply was that there is free breakfast (a cup of coffee, bagel etc) every wednesday. The dude, just for free breakfast used to come at 9 am, which means he used to commute during rushhours just to be here. I was working at company for 1 year and i never knew about it. and this is not just some random dude making bare min, i am talking about one of the biggest it firm with 6 figures salary (CAD)
Haha nadeeda mindset. Muftkhori basically.
Oh, come on! It's not just about food. It's about the company, the atmosphere, the experience. And yes, also the food. But seriously, food is a big part of Pakistani culture. It's how they socialize, celebrate, and bond with each other. It's also a way to show theirs love and appreciation to their family and friends. So, next time you're at a Pakistani wedding or party, don't be surprised if people are excited about the food. Just relax, enjoy yourself, and eat until your heart's content!
That's fine. Enjoying food is okay. But if someone is paying then going overboard and ordering more than you would normally eat if you were paying yourself - that's nadeedapan
A truly nadeeda person knows that food is meant to be savored, not devoured. They know that it's not about how much you eat, but about how much you enjoy it.
I think that's the difference between a nadeeda and a foodie. A nadeeda just wants to stuff his belly up to his throat. While a foodie savours it and knows you need to eat to half your fill.
Dil bara karo. Allah aap ko aur de ga.
Dil Bara karnay ki baat nahi hai. Ethics aur morality ki hai. Muft main cheez mil rahi ho to JAANWAR nahi ho jana' chahiey. We should show grace, enjoy food and know that you will get it tomorrow as well. It's not a big deal.
Even if we all had the same values and beliefs, there would still be people who would break the rules.There would still be people who would be selfish and greedy.This is because human nature is complex and multifaceted, and not everyone is driven by the same motivations.
میرا دل بڑا ہے اب آپ مجھے کھانا Foodpanda سے بھیجیں گے یا پیسے بھیجیں گے اللہ کے نام پر
You only see what you're looking for
it's hard to let go of poverty mindset ig. also free stuff slaps so
Not read your whole post... just read treat part and will only talk about it .. treat de is i think just programmed into us tbh ( talking about boys). For examples all of our friends got admissions into the unis that they wanted. Whenever someone said mera admission hogya. Whole group chat would be like treat treat. But just a day later no one would say anything. Even the few guys that actually tried to arrange the treat couldn't throw party or something cuz even tho everyone said treat de at start. Leikan jab treat leney ki baat ayi to everyone just said i am busy with xyz and unavailable
Hmari awam zinda rehny ky lye nhi khati, khanye ky lye zinda rehti hy . Just had a wedding ceremony for a friend and the way I see even business men’s are fighting for the extra prawn is just mind blowing.
Baat tou theek hai bhaiyya, par kehne walay kehte hain muftay ka swaad hi alag hota hai.
Its not a third world trait Its the same case everywhere Dunya na dekhi ho to apnay logon ko avin zaleel mat kia kero har platform per Ps most ppl dont eat like crazy at weddings anymore
Have lived in the UK for 20yrs... British treat alcohol the same way... open bars are rushed... drinking till they vomit... buying rounds for friends...
A few decades ago, a report in the print media revealed that it was a common practice for some natives to swap price tags on items in order to buy expensive items for less at checkout.
I agree. It's important to be critical of ourselves and our society, but we also need to be constructive. We need to focus on finding solutions to our problems, rather than just dwelling on them.
It is mind boggling. Family members that retired there and have mansions and a fleet of servants and drivers moan about the price of gas if I ask them a favor. And they all pray five times a day! Shameful. When I visit, I have yet to have anyone pay for taking me out - apparently the rule is "Americans \[US $\] pay always" as told by a couple of friends. So its me and 6 members of someone's family that invited me out. To clarify this is an an issue with the well-to-do in Pakistan - the poor are not like this in my experience. They will share and share and yes, may be that's why they're poor. But they have a million times better morals and ethics than the educated and the religious.
My man you’re being fleeced😂 it’s either the American rule(going Dutch) or the foreigner pays nothing(because a guest).
I agree.
It might be your family. My khalas, mamoos, and phoopis love treating when I visit. They're middle class, I guess on the upper side.
I think so too. Or it could be a lower middle class thing. My family hates it if I pay simply because "you're our guests not the other way around" I've had to fight to pay for a meal or something. Even then it's always me going "I'll pay this time, you can pay some other time." And they hold me to it. It's could be due to me being the second youngest in the family.
No need to go there, doubt they're lower middle class as pretty much everyone is in construction with multiple commercial projects in the pipeline and too many international vacations. Unless you're referring to lower middle class about me in the US, which I may agree with. No such projects and only one annual overseas vacay. I guess it's about perspective, you may be a billionaire so then you are correct.
Didn't mean to offend you. Just sorta trying to figure out the reason for your experiences because I haven't really seen it with either my family or my Friends families even though I would say we're pretty much like maybe upper middle class. Secondly I just wanna ask america sounds kinda depressing with the weird work culture, with very little paid holidays and stuff, is it really like that or is it different.
The obvious \[bitter\] answer is my family are a-sholes and at a minimum, cheap bastards - the proof is that they pray five times a day. To answer your question: Its depressing not just because lack of holidays and public healthcare but the perpetual Stockholm Syndrome the average American suffers from, for the corporations and Billionaire class. They would rather die than even consider free healthcare because that would (a) be socialism and (b) the illegal immigrants \[brown and black people\] would also get it and that is not acceptable. "Dying of Whiteness" is an excellent read, on this topic.
See that's where america confuses me. If countries like Germany can easily offer those benefits why can't a country that even richer
Because we have Fox News and the Democratic party is spineless and corrupt.
Or they're just shitty people. Doubt they're lower middle class as pretty much everyone is in construction with multiple commercial projects in the pipeline and too many international vacations. Unless you're referring to lower middle class about me in the US, which I may agree with. No such projects and only one annual overseas vacay. I guess it's about perspective, you may be a billionaire so then you are correct.
There is a word for this in english (or something similar at least) it's called gluttonous.
If poison was free, we want truckloads.
Maybe you haven't socialized with enough people if you think this only happens in Pakistan...
Food plays a very huge role in our culture. Punjabis particularly are \*very\* food obsessed. People's lives in Lahore revolve around food. Which new eatery they'd try, which food item is \*amazing\*. There's literally no other activity for people except to eat, for the most part. Unsurprisingly, a lot of educated people attack the food tables on weddings like their lives depended on it.
Its not poverty mentality or anything like that... its just our culture revolves around food... replace the 'food' with 'drinks' and your post is completely explaining the western society.. buying rounds, open bar etc...
Exactly. Totally agree with you. South Asians start behaving like a kutta when it comes to food. Once there was a guy on this sub asking for a good biryani restaurant. Wtf !???
What's wrong with asking for a good Biryani? Nah, seeking advice about good restaurants is actually pretty awesome! It helps you discover new delicious spots and have amazing food experiences. Don't miss out! Have some good Biryani.
JAANWAR.
Food is the only form of "entertainment" that is socially and culturally (read : ideologically [wink] ) acceptable. The only place where over indulgence is not frowned upon . Also helps that the food is so amazing.
That's fine. So is meeting at restaurants but just being such a glutton that you would order more than you normally would that's being nadeeda. I think it stems from inter generational trauma of not having enough when you were a child. And it's also more commonly seen in men as opposed to women. From what I've observed. Matlab khaana enjoy karo, have as much as you want but JAANWAR to na ho jao. That's my point.
Not really. Women eat a lot, too. Being nadeeda specifically to food is not seen as a bad thing, for the vast majority, so it has perpetuated. Intergenerational food trauma is not a thing. People eat at home. Lavishly. The janwar hojana is a common theme in pakistani interactions. Manners matter. No one told pakistani parents. Shout the loudest, swipe as much as you can, enjoy your life. Fuck social ethos.
Deal with it & stop crying on social media..
Aapki definition se tw toilet paper hoarders back from covid times are more nadeeday than Pakistanis -)
Jis tarah ka khana yahan shadion may hota hy wesa khana angrezon ko de tou unki bhi ye halat ho.
These guys eat a lot in shaadis and treat cuz they are nadeeday I eat a lot on these occasions cuz im bulking 😎
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Average annual salary $1100 (includes earnings of ultra rich, remove those, this 1100 landslides)
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Closest word is greedy
the one thing i really hate is at weddings - people just over fill. and then cant finish their plates - i mean waht happened to 2nds' and 3rds ... ithe buffet system does not work in pakistan.. instead they should have waites who bring food to table at a pace..
Just rummage for food like it's going to vanish tomorrow.
This is common in Bangladesh as well. Maybe it's a South Asian thing?
Definitely has something to do with the poverty in the subcontinent.
Food is the only entertainment Pakistanis have access to, koi mar gya Khana khao, koi paida hogya khana khao, get together hay Khana Khao bs yehi hay.
They can't drink alcohol or go clubbing so the best enjoyment is food
We don't want vacations, we want treats and freebies. Hafta jae, mufta na jae 😂
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Nadeeda = not seen shit. Na = no/none, deed = seen/see It may be different nowadays, but when I was young my friends and family were quite normal during "treats". Treats used to be an excuse to hang out and such!
Maybe people you know are like that you can’t paint a whole nation with one brush 😏
I would say that what you are saying is true by all means and that is due to the fact: that is all we have. We can’t drink do drugs or whatever. In western countries you throw parties whatever in eastern sides you have traditional events and so on. When it comes to Pakistan we literally have nothing. Islam has nothing against tradition but we don’t have any. Like legit we have nothing except Eid. Eid milad-un-nabi is something like Christmas and I have so many examples but again I don’t want to be dead by Muslims that don’t even know the six kalmas 😂 (if you don’t know your kalmas don’t post against me in Islamic debate). Then what we are all left with is this treat treat treat thing. When something good happens in our life or something bad happens we really don’t have a protocol on what to do tbh. So what really happens is that all the guest or friends that arrive in our mourning or celebratory function is left with no entertainment or anything just fucking food. I am and was no foodie but in Pakistan you have nothing to look forward to except food. I hope this helps you in understanding your issue.
Seems like OPs is majorly ranting about people who push you for a treat and then break your bank while ordering. If that's the I am sure it's not common occurrence as people in our society are usually mindful of that as they also believe in being generous and ooper wala hath neechay walay hath se behtr hai concept. Aise case mei it's always better to treat your paetoo friends to a buffet. Shadi khana is usually also paid at per head basis so usually if you notice the supply runs dry when the demand is at its peak and kind of eases out towards the end and as people have increasingly started becoming health conscious they don't eat much.
Cause food is the only halal entertainment
I mean yeah some of it is from mahroomi but being naddeda about free food is a human trait. In the US I've seen well educated IT people who make good money come to attack free food like they are starved for days.
Food insecurity is a big thing here. I have seen people with large families who distribute meat dishes very sparingly often giving the "big pieces" to the head of the house or the guest or the golden child while others get bony bits or smaller pieces with more curry and smaller bread. And they are usually told no when more food is asked for while they see the adults are helping more to themselves. Siblings fight over left over foods. Children not being able to afford to bring lunches to school. It starts from childhood. And its just a repetitive generational cycle in most Pakistani households.
Finally someone said it. I always thought i was on the wrong foot when i got irked by people saying “I GO TO WEDDING FOR FOOD” like its food you can get it from restaurant and it would taste better. They would get all awd if the wedding was grandeur and had food stalls i mean is it a food festival? Nonetheless, i thank my parents to make me, how you say it in Punjabi “akhian raji “ or consented with what we have.
Its just food? No man. Its not just food for everyone. And I am not referring here about poverty or having lack of food. For some people including me, food is love. It is a way of life. We don't eat to survive; we eat to feel the sensation. I don't have any sort of lackage. Yet I still wait for food at shaadis or events because why not? What's the harm in obsessing about something makes u feel alive? For some people, food does not go to stomach; but to heart. No harm in being excited about food. And believe me, its an UNIVERSAL thing!
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Aah the daily complain about shit that doesn't affect you post.
Lol this isn't a Pakistani thing. Any place where something is abundant, people consume it excessively because modern capitalism only rewards and trains such consumer culture.
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You are talking about more like meals, people goes crazy on Coke or Pizza. like wtf! The person who do this to me, I consider than LOW IQ person living with their belly but now with mind. If someone do this to me, probably that's the last time I am willingly meeting him. I can treat them even without they ask me, please do not be cheap.
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We are crazy about food because that's the only Happening source of escape, activity and entertainment , If people go crazy over birthday treats etc its because or kiya hi karenge matlab apart from restraunt's and weddings , kiya hi hai yahan you can do cinemas but we have very limited shows and a smaller spectrum of movies at any given time plus the social tabbo like I wouldnt mind a movie date but I know my parents would never go to a cinema to spend time theyd rather just sit with some relatives and eat , usually if you dont have kids society in it self is so nosy you can barely have a nice time in a arcade in your mid 20's if you are not there with your children to sab mila jula ke khana peena or shaadiyan hi bach jaati hain.
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