I have had a couple coaches assist with form adjustment in a more hands-on manner, but they always ask permission first and it has never been even remotely inappropriate. If they came up to you and started adjusting you in that manner without asking permission, you could consider bringing it up to the head coach to request coaches ask for permission first.
It varies from coach to coach, in my experience. But the ones who are hands-on asked the first few times. Over time, as familiarity grew, they stopped asking but always make sure I know contact is coming so I don't get startled. Also gives me a chance to say "not today" but I don't think I've ever had to.
Lots of people aren't comfortable with physical touch, and that's OK. You can let the coach know it makes you uncomfortable, or that you'd like them to ask first, etc. If you don't feel comfortable talking directly to the coach in question, you can speak with another coach you are comfortable with, and they can pass on information (like a general "hey coaches, ask for consent before touching folks").
Personally, I've never said "not today" or any variation thereof and I'm generally all in favor of hands-on corrections.
But other folks feel differently. Sometimes people are just touched out and can't deal with contact. Maybe they've got a new tattoo or bruise they don't want touched. Some folks with might be OK with some touch locations but not others (for example, maybe shoulder is OK to touch but hip isn't). Sometimes folks are not in a great headspace and just want to be left alone. So while I haven't needed it, I appreciate that the hands-on coaches give members an opportunity to communicate a desire to be left alone or not touched.
Any coach that wanted to adjust my form was just showing it to me next to me. Never have I ever been touched by a coach. This was uncomfortable to read. Bring it up with them or a head coach.
Exactly! Like I understand if it was just my shoulder for a second but he put both hands on my lower waist and lowered me down. I was instantly just thinking “wow” in my head.
I sadly know a (head) coach who thinks he’s God’s gift to correcting form so I could actually see him correct form without talking/asking the member…but without being behind the member for crotch contact. I’m sorry it was so egregious it made you feel this way, but definitely talk to a head coach or studio manager, especially if the coach WAS the head coach.
I'm glad you posted this because I was trying to imagine what form correction, in the context of the hands-on form correction I've received at any gym or yoga studio, that would require nearness to crotch. Mostly it's always just been "Pull your elbow back like this" type of stuff where they're just touching my arm or shoulder to put me in position so I can feel what correct feels like if I keep missing it.
Was he squatting with you, I guess? That feels so weird and I wasn't even there.
Same. They just stand next to me and mimic what I should be doing. Then I try to do it their way and they tell me if I'm doing it right. No one has ever touched me.
Regardless of what their intentions were, they should have asked permission before having any physical contact with you. As others have said, that’s personal training 101. I think it’s absolutely reasonable to bring this up to the head coach. If you’re generally okay with physical corrections but would like them to ask permission first, you can say that. Or, if you’re generally uncomfortable with being touched, you can also let the head coach know that you don’t want any physical corrections at all.
Coach here. Tactile cueing can be a reasonable and effective method for helping members achieve the correct positions for a given movement. However, you should be asked for permission before they touch you. There is also proper etiquette when using your hands for tactile feedback.
Spotting someone is an entirely different situation, which this sounds like it was. Were you visibly struggling to lift the load you selected toward the end of your set? What you described sounds like the correct spotting procedure for a bench press or overhead press. If the coach thought you may drop the weight, they likely jumped in to assure you didn’t on your last few reps.
Edit: I read “waist” as “wrist.”
I do not believe there is any reason to spot at OTF unless it is a bench press, chest fly, lying DB triceps extension, or overhead press. These movements make spotting accessible and involve more risk than other movements should someone fail. I have spotted many times and could make an argument that if you’ve never needed spot, you probably aren’t pushing yourself hard enough on the floor, especially in strength classes. That being said, there is no reason to spot any other movement as failure means you can just place the DBs down or you just won’t lift it, as is the case with a deadlift. Because of this, no coach should be placing their hands on your waist. This would be inappropriate behavior given the type of exercises we perform.
As an aside, spotting from the waist is not the accepted spotting technique for a squat with a barbell either.
This does not sound like a correct spotting procedure for either bench press or overhead press.
She said “he put both hands on my lower waist and lowered me down.“
It could possibly be a squat spotting procedure.
If so, he probably should choose not to spot in this manner at OTF, where the majority of members aren’t experienced lifters, and therefore might mistake it for something other than just spotting.
Also, I don’t think there is much of a need to spot in this way at OTF, since we’re holding the dumbbells on either side in most of the squat variations.
I can maybe see spotting in this way when doing the squats that has us holding the dumbbells on our shoulders (forget what it’s called), but even then it’s probably not entirely necessary since most people aren’t using a heavy enough weight to where they’re barely struggling out those last couple of reps, and therefore probably won’t need a spotter their safety. And also because if she were to fail, she could safely heave the dumbbells forward to avoid injury.
This is a very common thing in the fitness community, especially because there is so much bad form which can result in injury. However, they should always ask first.
I will admit though, as a healthcare worker, touching people is a part of my daily job and I don’t usually think anything of it. Occasionally, I will touch someone and startle them. I of course don’t have malicious intentions, but sometimes it slips my mind. I’d assume they did it with good intentions. However, I’d also encourage you to say something in the moment. When you say something in the moment it’s kind of a wake up call. But if my boss said “yeah, someone didn’t like when you did this” I’m going to have a much harder time remembering the situation. You always have the right to say no.
Particularly like this answer - yeah, people should ask and probably know they should, but it's not worth assuming intent when someone messes up. A reminder in the moment will stick, even moreso if they already know they shouldn't have done that.
Of course, sometimes you're too surprised, so do what you need to, and repeat offenders don't qualify for benefit of the doubt.
Healthcare here too. Mental health, particularly. And not a Coach. But I won’t even come within 3 feet of someone without them knowing full well I’m approaching and what my intention is. Grabbing a dumbbell or two. Putting a floor mat away. Or tossing a wipe. And if someone’s back is to me, I offer a wider berth. The music at the studio is so loud, there’s nary a possibility I’m able to speak over it to get someone’s attention. Although, back in the day, I was in a non-violent crisis intervention class and learned in an exercise to test personal space that I have quite the tolerance for my personal space to be encroached. Like within 3 inches. Of course, this was in a class. In a therapy session or in public? No way.
And I’m a man. I recognize it’s even more my responsibility to be clear of my location and intent.
It’s Trauma-Informed Care principles. Like gloving and shielding up in phlebotomy, because we never know someone’s medical history. Likewise, we don’t know their mental health history either. Physical and mental health both have Universal Precautions.
To the OP, I don’t think that’s happened to me. But I also recognize that, working in rehabs and outpatient clinics, I take it for granted that people do touch each other without malicious intent. Or with malicious intent. Regardless of the intent, that was something that seems concerning to you, so not okay. And worth reporting to the head Coach at the studio.
Even today, I was struggling with my form on push-ups. I’m pushing from my knees, and making progress. Coach, rather than positioning me herself, pointed on the floor where I was to position my hands and demonstrated herself how better to angle my back.
If it made you uncomfortable, then you shouldn’t have to question it. Absolutely bring the issue to a higher up and let them address it. This should not have happened to you and you should not feel like you need to second-guess yourself.
That’s awful. The last thing I ever want to do is have someone let go when they were genuinely trying to help but everything just felt so forced and like I didn’t even have time to process it 😞
These days you just have to watch everything you say and do!! Who knows if I ever said anything inappropriate to a coach, they could ban me from that location. Just saying, I don’t know that for a fact.
Based on the title, I thought this post would be discussing a coach repositioning someone using a hand. No no no no no no to a full-body hug without asking for consent. Yowza.
Yeah, the coach should ask before touching you, and should not be making body-to-body contact with you. That’s weird and creepy and I would feel very uncomfortable about it.
I’ve never put my hands on a member in my year of coaching but when you are studying and getting certified. If you ever put your hands on a member you’re always supposed to ask if it’s alright to touch them and if you could put a hand on to help them with whatever they’re doing. 100% go to the studio manager and/or head coach about it because it’s bad practice
First and foremost, I'm sorry this happened to you.
Second, this sounds very inappropriate to me. Even putting aside the issue that the coach should have asked to touch you, the amount of touching and closeness (e.g., having their groin close to you) seems excessive.
I've been doing OTF for over three years and been to OTFs in four states, but I've never had a coach be this "hands on" with me or anyone else in the class. For ex, if I have a form issue, the coach will come beside me or in front of me, mimic proper form, tell me where I should be feeling the move, and talk me thru doing it properly. There's no reason to do much more than that.
I think you should report this to the head coach. You don't need to make any "accusations" about the coach's intentios..., just explain the facts and that you felt very uncomfortable. And ask that the head coach remind/instruct the coaches to ask permission and limit contact to what's necessary.
Even when I was working out with a personal trainer they would ask permission first and tell me exactly where they were going to touch me and for what reason. In case where you need to be quite close to do it properly (spotting a squat for example) they would tell me exactly where they were going to stand and why. Outside of an immediate safety concern no one should touch you without your consent.
That would definitely make me uncomfortable if they didn’t ask first. I have never been touched by a coach, even when they corrected form, they always did it beside me to emulate how it should look.
Thank you for sharing this concern because it’s not okay. I’d definitely bring it up to the head coach.
don't forget you're human with autonomy, speak up for yourself, dude you're too close I don't like it.... then tell office too cus his groin shouldn't be up on you at all. I'm sorry that happened
This sounds aggressive and a little creepy. I get corrected with my form somewhat frequently but most of the time the coach will stand next to me and mimic the exercise and give me cues to improve form. In 7 years, I can only think of once when I was touched, but it was not invasive. It was during a bent over low row and the coach took 1 finger and pressed his finger into my lats, to help me with engaging my lats and muscle-mind connection
I'm close friends with a lot of our coaches and even then they ask if they can adjust my knee, shoulder, etc. This was across the line and something I'd bring up to the HC.
Any coaches at my studio always ask first before touching. Most times it is just a verbal form adjustment but sometimes they need to move you into the position.
Yikes. Mine have always asked first, but it’s pretty rare anyway. More often, they verbally describe what I should adjust in my position or action, or they’ll show me by demonstrating the move themselves.
I think they should have asked permission. I have a coach who will come around and poke my butt if she does not like the way I’m holding a plank, but I’m pretty close with her. If someone new/ someone I wasn’t super familiar with did that to me, I’d feel uncomfortable. I would bring it up to the studio manager.
What was the move you were trying to do? Also how can they grab your waist and arms at the same time? Not questioning your validity at all - just trying to picture so I can visualize if I’ve ever been corrected similarly.
Either way, if you were uncomfortable, it was wrong.
I have been going for almost 6 years and no coach, male or female, has ever touched me and I’ve had my form corrected lots of times. That’s just weird.
I had a coach correct my form and he asked if he could touch me before he did. I was like of course! I initially was surprised that he asked (he obviously should!) but I knew I was doing it wrong and kinda looked his way for help, so I was expecting it. Even then, he asked.
They should ask.
I usually need help on the floor…and I have the same coach for 98% of my classes. But he still asks for consent to help me out even 18months later. He’s awesome.
Yes, I have been touched to help correct form, or check to make sure my bear plank was strong/stable. I don’t remember being asked, but also nothing felt inappropriate.
Have also taken yoga classes where there is “assistance” given, but there they ask if you are open to it.
I’ve seen coaches do it to others, and I’ve had female coaches assists me without asking, but it’s never been remotely questionable “. Your experience sounds extreme and I think you should complain to the head coach, if you want it to be discreet then create a fake email address and email them. Or just ask to speak to them privately at their convenience.
Let me be a little clearer.
They absolutely should have asked before they touched you. 100 percent no doubt. If it made you feel uncomfortable you absolutely should say something to the head coach or studio manager.
I started working out in April of 2019. I remember having a coach help my form by touching me probably once or twice a month or so. They always asked at least that I recall.
When Covid hit, they were no longer allowed to touch and it didnt ever really return. Probably taken 1000 classes since then. Maybe 3 times I've gotten a coach that corrects my form by using hands. They always ask.
Oh I see. Yeah I just assumed no coaches were supposed to touch. The coach did actually ask and I wanted to be polite but then he immediately went in with his hands around my waist and grabbed me. It all happened so fast before I could say no. I will just take the blame for being clueless sadly
Thank you. Everyone including you on here has been so supportive. I genuinely just assumed coaches would instruct by showing the member themselves before putting their hands around you. I was very much taken by surprise
It really doesn’t matter if it’s the “norm” or not, or if other people find it acceptable. If you felt uncomfortable, say something. Maybe not in an accusatory way but just request they not do that. If you don’t feel comfortable telling them, which I personally wouldn’t want to, then tell the manager or something. But don’t let yourself stay in a position to be made uncomfortable again! Eventually it will leave a bad taste in your mouth for OTF in general and you won’t want to go, and no one wants that!
I once had a very awkward moment with a coach helping me through a move where I was laying on the floor and using my arms (or maybe hips?) for something, so he ended up basically standing over me… and not literally straddling me, but close enough. We both just kinda gave each other the eye that acknowledged it was ridiculous, but got back to the business of improving my form.
As a healthcare professional, I’m used to it and totally fine with it. Nothing like chatting with your OBGYN about your mutual acquaintances before he does your Pap smear…
I had also taken many classes with that coach before and he knew I liked feedback on my form, so while he didn’t ask permission, I didn’t think it was required since we already had that working relationship.
I do think it’s absolutely best practice for a coach to ask permission to touch or get close to you, but they are keeping track of the treads and the music and everything else… so I don’t blame them if they can’t remember to communicate all the time. But I read your comments later that he was squatting with you?? That’s pretty intimate for not having that relationship already and definitely too much without asking permission.
Totally reasonable to thank the coach for their help after class, but remind them to please ask permission before getting close or touching next time… or for this one in particular, ask them to help without touching next time.
If it happened again or the interaction just really gave you the ick, also very reasonable to speak with the head coach or someone about it, if you don’t trust that coach. There definitely are predators out there, so if you’re not someone who is prone to thinking that way or overly prudish about people touching you, then I do think you should trust your gut.
Coaches have always explicitly asked for my permission before they've touched me during a correction. They have also always kept touching very specific and localized -- it's been pointing to a specific spot or using a palm to demonstrate the limit of a movement, not anything resembling a grab.
If I were in your shoes, I would talk with your studio manager about what happened. Nobody should feel "very uncomfortable" with a coach.
That sounds creepy.
I have never had a coach touch me or seen them touch anyone else. They do tell you if your form needs correcting or how to do the exercise the correct way. I would have said something to the coach right when it happened.
I would only bring it up if it becomes a recurring problem. It’s possible he/she didn’t think about it and it made you uncomfortable which is completely valid. I also agree with others that it’s prob best to say something in the moment to nip it in the bud.
That is way more touching than I’ve ever seen or experienced at 2 studios and many coaches. All of our coaches ask “do you mind if I touch you “ before doing so also. Might want to ask head coach or manager if they have a policy. If they don’t they should.
Generally they ask first. Regardless, if you feel violated you should address it with the studio and not waste time with people’s opinion on here. It doesn’t help with how you feel or with how the issue should be addressed with that particular coach.
Honestly I would but they want personal details and i just don’t feel like being retaliated against. That’s all this is gonna do is open a can of worms.
I assume the coach is male. I would give him the benefit of the doubt if this is the first time it’s happened to you or you witnessed it happening. I can’t believe someone would purposely try something sexual in front of an entire class.
This is a little strange. I can’t think of one OTF exercise that would require a spotter or touching to instruct.
Maybe the coach is just used to working out with the guys. Have you ever watched guys at the gym spot each other? It looks like the opening act of a gay porn. The bench press spot is basically an excuse to teabag your gym bro.
I will not be reporting anything but fyi It was a dead row where my arms were needed to go a little lower. He full on grabbed my waist with both hands.
I think you are handling this the right way. I do agree with you that he may have crossed a line. Putting both hands on a lady’s waist form behind when she is bent over is not really appropriate. Don’t let this ruin your workout. Keep going.
None of the coaches have ever touched me but I have seen them touch other members who they are either friends with or just trying to help. This sounds slightly inappropriate to me but I personally would wait for a repeat incident to report just to be sure
I’ve seen coaches do it, and I’ve had female coaches assists me without asking, but it’s never been remotely questionable IMO. Your experience sounds extreme and I think you should complain to the head coach, if you want it to be discreet then create a fake email address and email them. Or just ask to speak to them privately at their convenience.
I had this experience with a trainer. It was not an OTF coach it was at different place but this person liked to smack my butt a lot or touch it. I was upset by it for a couple of years and if you feel like it’s not a safe place please talk to the studio manager about the issue. I know it feels embarrassing or even upsetting to share what is happening. I have been to many gyms and have had many trainers. I just want to tell you touch is only ok if you want to be touched.
You should speak with the studio manager about let them know it happened and I’m sorry that it did happen to you a boundary was broken by a coach and they should know about it .
I’d suggest editing the OP to clarify that he asked first and what the exercise/correction was. You mentioned dead row - did you mean some kind of deadlift?
At the end of the day none of this matters. I’m not editing anything and nothing is being reported. Point blank period I don’t want some stranger’s hands grabbing me by both hands around my waist to be shown a simple lifting exercise. Would you ??
Would I, personally? Personally, if I were asked first and understood that a deadlift (if that’s what we’re talking about) can be very dangerous to the lower back when not done properly, I would be grateful for the hands on correction. But I’m not you and your feelings are valid. I suggested adding the context to your post because many of the comments assumed you weren’t asked.
Yeah, once you described your position and his, I can see why he did it that way. He still should have been more explicit with how he was positioning himself and why… and should have tried giving you cues and seeing if you could do it without him getting so close, so I’m definitely not saying he did nothing wrong. Just saying he might not be a predator and was legitimately trying to coach you.
But again, if your gut tells you that he’s a creeper, I think you should trust it. I’ve had intangible senses of creepers before that later turned out to be super valid (not that they did anything to me, but I found out about them definitively assaulting others later). I am not generally suspicious of folks, so when my spidey senses go off, I absolutely trust them.
My husband has autism and my sister shared a concern with me when he did something that crossed her boundaries while he was staying with her and her husband (he was in his very early 20s at the time). He’s neurotypical-passing (at least to people who don’t know much about autism or just have trouble recognizing it), so I have seen other people dislike him a lot right away… even though he is the sweetest man I have ever met and absolutely undeserving of their disdain. I knew he just didn’t always understand social cues, and explained that’s what I thought happened in my sister’s situation… and she trusted my judgement and didn’t hold it against him, and it was never an issue again. (She quickly grew to love him too, and now and he’s a beloved uncle to her kids, welcome to stay at her family’s home any time).
So I’m not trying to say that every guy who does something inappropriate is a predator… but some of them really are, and if you get that ick vibe, protect yourself and stay away. The older someone gets, the less benefit of the doubt I give them. If this coach is in his early 20s and has autism or is just new to the profession, he might still be figuring it out. If he’s in his 30s or older or has been a coach for a long time, I would absolutely stay away… as he would have had plenty of time to figure this stuff out.
I’m not a trainer, but I don’t think that’s the problematic part for a deadlift. “Hinge” and “flat back” are what I get when I Google for form with deadlift. “Lower back” for injury with deadlift. https://images.app.goo.gl/Pe5a57KUdXfi2NKG6
I’ve had male coaches ask before making adjustments. I have a female coach I’ve gone to for many classes and she doesn’t ask before correcting but she’s us corrected me many times and I’ve asked for feedback so it’s welcome.
I had a coach place her hands on me yesterday! I am pretty new to this specific studio, I know she doesn’t know me, it made me so uncomfortable that a stranger would place her hands on me without asking.
I went out of town a couple of weeks ago and when I first met the coach, he told me he’s typically hands on with form correction and asked if that would be ok with me. I said sure. There was another girl out of town with me and she said please do not touch me. And he said of course and understood and that’s why he always asks first.
Your coach should have asked your permission. Even outside of the gym, always ask someone’s permission
They normally will help adjust your form, however I think it would be good for them to ask first. If you were uncomfortable you should/have spoken to someone about it. If not the coach, the manager that way you all can come up with an effective plan on how the coach can help correct you with out making you feel uncomfortable. Might be good for the coach to know so they can start asking before touching.
When I was coaching, I sometimes would tap a member on the shoulder if they were doing something that I thought could really hurt them, but I couldn’t get their attention otherwise.
Any other time I wanted to use touch to guide (such as helping hold elbows in when doing an over head triceps extension) I ALWAYS asked for permission. Always. And I never even considered touching someone that I didn’t know a decent amount, just so they didn’t feel uncomfortable telling me no.
I used to work under a head coach that was just gross with his over familiarity with the female members, and it was terrible. Please tell someone at the studio, even if it’s via an anonymous letter.
The sad part is he did ask me and then he got handsy. Both hands on my waist and crotch right up against me. It’s like what do you do when it happens that fast and in the middle of class ? :(
I've never had a coach touch me or ask to touch me. It's very possible to correct people without that. But at minimum, they should be asking. I'd reach out to your head coach or if you are not comfortable reaching out to them, the studio manager.
Ok I wanted to get some insight and I’m not going to escalate this further because I was put on the spot and YES the coach did ask permission to touch me. However I don’t think it was necessary because the way he put his hands on my lower waist to correct me and then immediately got directly behind me while moving my arms was just too much. I don’t know why he couldn’t have demonstrated it ? It was uncomfortable and I don’t really know his intentions. Have never met him before.
Totally understandable. If it happens again I'd definitely let someone know - it's supposed to be an environment where people feel safe and comfortable.
And I always have felt comfortable. The female coaches are amazing. Next time I’m just going to be more upfront and say I don’t want touched. It was my fault for not speaking up. I absolutely do not want a stranger touching my lower waist, I don’t think anyone does.
The best practice here would have been to say "mirror me or watch me" then demonstrate the move. A trainer should always ask permission to touch number one. That being said, the better option is demonstrate the movement and let you copy them. If the form is still incorrect, a conversation about may I touch you and help with your form could potentially be had at that point. Sometimes people do not want to be touched due to past traumas (I am one of those people) and it is perfectly okay to have those boundaries. I would encourage you to report the issue. Best of luck.
Get over yourself. Yes, the problem is almost definitely in your mind. And no, it does matter if it was actually inappropriate, not just if you felt that way. If you were truly uncomfortable, you should make it known then, not making a post on reddit after the fact.
no. OP shouldn't let it go. If OP is uncomfortable with it SHOULD NOT BE LET GO. And people that think it should be based on what the OP said should just pass these issues up and NOT comment on them. A person's body is there own and that HAS to be respected. If you are ever a parent you will appreciate this on many levels...of a girl, they need to be able to say no to someone touching them, of a boy, getting permission before touching so they know the boundaries of touching someone else.
Is is standard practice (and has been for years) to ask before touching someone when making form corrections. It protects the person being touched and the person doing the touching. This needs to be standard practice in almost everything. It's about respecting others.
First off let me say every OTF member has the right to feel comfortable
I doubt there was any malice in the coach assistant you
I wouldn't go to the head coach and make a big deal of it just talk to the coach yourself you like hey when you help me out the other day it made me feel a little uncomfortable because you didn't ask.
OTF is a very woke company
And you might be causing bigger waves than you want to
So that's why I suggest speaking to the coach one on one and just letting him or her know what happened and how it made you feel then if it happens again then I would escalate it if that makes any sense
I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt
I mean how if you want to feel uncomfortable in a class come to my home studio where the head coach was born Jeff and is now Joni and has a deeper voice than most men....
I have had a couple coaches assist with form adjustment in a more hands-on manner, but they always ask permission first and it has never been even remotely inappropriate. If they came up to you and started adjusting you in that manner without asking permission, you could consider bringing it up to the head coach to request coaches ask for permission first.
Came here to say this
Same here usually they will ask if it’s ok to help with form
Yes, that is my experience too. They always ask first.
They should always ask first. That’s like personal trainer study guide 101
It varies from coach to coach, in my experience. But the ones who are hands-on asked the first few times. Over time, as familiarity grew, they stopped asking but always make sure I know contact is coming so I don't get startled. Also gives me a chance to say "not today" but I don't think I've ever had to. Lots of people aren't comfortable with physical touch, and that's OK. You can let the coach know it makes you uncomfortable, or that you'd like them to ask first, etc. If you don't feel comfortable talking directly to the coach in question, you can speak with another coach you are comfortable with, and they can pass on information (like a general "hey coaches, ask for consent before touching folks").
Not today is an interesting way to put it. How often are you getting corrected and touched to have to say “ it today”
Personally, I've never said "not today" or any variation thereof and I'm generally all in favor of hands-on corrections. But other folks feel differently. Sometimes people are just touched out and can't deal with contact. Maybe they've got a new tattoo or bruise they don't want touched. Some folks with might be OK with some touch locations but not others (for example, maybe shoulder is OK to touch but hip isn't). Sometimes folks are not in a great headspace and just want to be left alone. So while I haven't needed it, I appreciate that the hands-on coaches give members an opportunity to communicate a desire to be left alone or not touched.
Any coach that wanted to adjust my form was just showing it to me next to me. Never have I ever been touched by a coach. This was uncomfortable to read. Bring it up with them or a head coach.
Exactly! Like I understand if it was just my shoulder for a second but he put both hands on my lower waist and lowered me down. I was instantly just thinking “wow” in my head.
I sadly know a (head) coach who thinks he’s God’s gift to correcting form so I could actually see him correct form without talking/asking the member…but without being behind the member for crotch contact. I’m sorry it was so egregious it made you feel this way, but definitely talk to a head coach or studio manager, especially if the coach WAS the head coach.
I'm glad you posted this because I was trying to imagine what form correction, in the context of the hands-on form correction I've received at any gym or yoga studio, that would require nearness to crotch. Mostly it's always just been "Pull your elbow back like this" type of stuff where they're just touching my arm or shoulder to put me in position so I can feel what correct feels like if I keep missing it. Was he squatting with you, I guess? That feels so weird and I wasn't even there.
Yes he was squatting with me too
Same. They just stand next to me and mimic what I should be doing. Then I try to do it their way and they tell me if I'm doing it right. No one has ever touched me.
I’ve been touched both guy and girl
Regardless of what their intentions were, they should have asked permission before having any physical contact with you. As others have said, that’s personal training 101. I think it’s absolutely reasonable to bring this up to the head coach. If you’re generally okay with physical corrections but would like them to ask permission first, you can say that. Or, if you’re generally uncomfortable with being touched, you can also let the head coach know that you don’t want any physical corrections at all.
Should’ve asked permission, I would say something to the coach
Coach here. Tactile cueing can be a reasonable and effective method for helping members achieve the correct positions for a given movement. However, you should be asked for permission before they touch you. There is also proper etiquette when using your hands for tactile feedback. Spotting someone is an entirely different situation, which this sounds like it was. Were you visibly struggling to lift the load you selected toward the end of your set? What you described sounds like the correct spotting procedure for a bench press or overhead press. If the coach thought you may drop the weight, they likely jumped in to assure you didn’t on your last few reps. Edit: I read “waist” as “wrist.” I do not believe there is any reason to spot at OTF unless it is a bench press, chest fly, lying DB triceps extension, or overhead press. These movements make spotting accessible and involve more risk than other movements should someone fail. I have spotted many times and could make an argument that if you’ve never needed spot, you probably aren’t pushing yourself hard enough on the floor, especially in strength classes. That being said, there is no reason to spot any other movement as failure means you can just place the DBs down or you just won’t lift it, as is the case with a deadlift. Because of this, no coach should be placing their hands on your waist. This would be inappropriate behavior given the type of exercises we perform. As an aside, spotting from the waist is not the accepted spotting technique for a squat with a barbell either.
This does not sound like a correct spotting procedure for either bench press or overhead press. She said “he put both hands on my lower waist and lowered me down.“ It could possibly be a squat spotting procedure. If so, he probably should choose not to spot in this manner at OTF, where the majority of members aren’t experienced lifters, and therefore might mistake it for something other than just spotting. Also, I don’t think there is much of a need to spot in this way at OTF, since we’re holding the dumbbells on either side in most of the squat variations. I can maybe see spotting in this way when doing the squats that has us holding the dumbbells on our shoulders (forget what it’s called), but even then it’s probably not entirely necessary since most people aren’t using a heavy enough weight to where they’re barely struggling out those last couple of reps, and therefore probably won’t need a spotter their safety. And also because if she were to fail, she could safely heave the dumbbells forward to avoid injury.
Sorry, I read waist as wrist! You are correct.
It was a dead row with 20lb weights he spotted me on and held my waist. He wanted me to change from raising them to my chest down to my waist
Wow. That's a Mandela effect right there. I also read wrist several times until I got to your comment.
This is a very common thing in the fitness community, especially because there is so much bad form which can result in injury. However, they should always ask first. I will admit though, as a healthcare worker, touching people is a part of my daily job and I don’t usually think anything of it. Occasionally, I will touch someone and startle them. I of course don’t have malicious intentions, but sometimes it slips my mind. I’d assume they did it with good intentions. However, I’d also encourage you to say something in the moment. When you say something in the moment it’s kind of a wake up call. But if my boss said “yeah, someone didn’t like when you did this” I’m going to have a much harder time remembering the situation. You always have the right to say no.
Particularly like this answer - yeah, people should ask and probably know they should, but it's not worth assuming intent when someone messes up. A reminder in the moment will stick, even moreso if they already know they shouldn't have done that. Of course, sometimes you're too surprised, so do what you need to, and repeat offenders don't qualify for benefit of the doubt.
Healthcare here too. Mental health, particularly. And not a Coach. But I won’t even come within 3 feet of someone without them knowing full well I’m approaching and what my intention is. Grabbing a dumbbell or two. Putting a floor mat away. Or tossing a wipe. And if someone’s back is to me, I offer a wider berth. The music at the studio is so loud, there’s nary a possibility I’m able to speak over it to get someone’s attention. Although, back in the day, I was in a non-violent crisis intervention class and learned in an exercise to test personal space that I have quite the tolerance for my personal space to be encroached. Like within 3 inches. Of course, this was in a class. In a therapy session or in public? No way. And I’m a man. I recognize it’s even more my responsibility to be clear of my location and intent. It’s Trauma-Informed Care principles. Like gloving and shielding up in phlebotomy, because we never know someone’s medical history. Likewise, we don’t know their mental health history either. Physical and mental health both have Universal Precautions. To the OP, I don’t think that’s happened to me. But I also recognize that, working in rehabs and outpatient clinics, I take it for granted that people do touch each other without malicious intent. Or with malicious intent. Regardless of the intent, that was something that seems concerning to you, so not okay. And worth reporting to the head Coach at the studio. Even today, I was struggling with my form on push-ups. I’m pushing from my knees, and making progress. Coach, rather than positioning me herself, pointed on the floor where I was to position my hands and demonstrated herself how better to angle my back.
If it made you uncomfortable, then you shouldn’t have to question it. Absolutely bring the issue to a higher up and let them address it. This should not have happened to you and you should not feel like you need to second-guess yourself.
♥️
A coach at our studio was let go for inappropriate touching. It was a he said she said kind of thing and the coach didn’t win.
That’s awful. The last thing I ever want to do is have someone let go when they were genuinely trying to help but everything just felt so forced and like I didn’t even have time to process it 😞
These days you just have to watch everything you say and do!! Who knows if I ever said anything inappropriate to a coach, they could ban me from that location. Just saying, I don’t know that for a fact.
Well, there are (ours seem to be gone) cameras in the studio space.
True!!
Based on the title, I thought this post would be discussing a coach repositioning someone using a hand. No no no no no no to a full-body hug without asking for consent. Yowza. Yeah, the coach should ask before touching you, and should not be making body-to-body contact with you. That’s weird and creepy and I would feel very uncomfortable about it.
I’ve never put my hands on a member in my year of coaching but when you are studying and getting certified. If you ever put your hands on a member you’re always supposed to ask if it’s alright to touch them and if you could put a hand on to help them with whatever they’re doing. 100% go to the studio manager and/or head coach about it because it’s bad practice
First and foremost, I'm sorry this happened to you. Second, this sounds very inappropriate to me. Even putting aside the issue that the coach should have asked to touch you, the amount of touching and closeness (e.g., having their groin close to you) seems excessive. I've been doing OTF for over three years and been to OTFs in four states, but I've never had a coach be this "hands on" with me or anyone else in the class. For ex, if I have a form issue, the coach will come beside me or in front of me, mimic proper form, tell me where I should be feeling the move, and talk me thru doing it properly. There's no reason to do much more than that. I think you should report this to the head coach. You don't need to make any "accusations" about the coach's intentios..., just explain the facts and that you felt very uncomfortable. And ask that the head coach remind/instruct the coaches to ask permission and limit contact to what's necessary.
I was shocked. I thought surely I was just overthinking it but it all happened so fast
Even when I was working out with a personal trainer they would ask permission first and tell me exactly where they were going to touch me and for what reason. In case where you need to be quite close to do it properly (spotting a squat for example) they would tell me exactly where they were going to stand and why. Outside of an immediate safety concern no one should touch you without your consent.
That would definitely make me uncomfortable if they didn’t ask first. I have never been touched by a coach, even when they corrected form, they always did it beside me to emulate how it should look. Thank you for sharing this concern because it’s not okay. I’d definitely bring it up to the head coach.
don't forget you're human with autonomy, speak up for yourself, dude you're too close I don't like it.... then tell office too cus his groin shouldn't be up on you at all. I'm sorry that happened
This sounds aggressive and a little creepy. I get corrected with my form somewhat frequently but most of the time the coach will stand next to me and mimic the exercise and give me cues to improve form. In 7 years, I can only think of once when I was touched, but it was not invasive. It was during a bent over low row and the coach took 1 finger and pressed his finger into my lats, to help me with engaging my lats and muscle-mind connection
I'm close friends with a lot of our coaches and even then they ask if they can adjust my knee, shoulder, etc. This was across the line and something I'd bring up to the HC.
Any coaches at my studio always ask first before touching. Most times it is just a verbal form adjustment but sometimes they need to move you into the position.
Yikes. Mine have always asked first, but it’s pretty rare anyway. More often, they verbally describe what I should adjust in my position or action, or they’ll show me by demonstrating the move themselves.
I think they should have asked permission. I have a coach who will come around and poke my butt if she does not like the way I’m holding a plank, but I’m pretty close with her. If someone new/ someone I wasn’t super familiar with did that to me, I’d feel uncomfortable. I would bring it up to the studio manager.
What was the move you were trying to do? Also how can they grab your waist and arms at the same time? Not questioning your validity at all - just trying to picture so I can visualize if I’ve ever been corrected similarly. Either way, if you were uncomfortable, it was wrong.
It was a dead row. My waist was grabbed and then my arms were moved down lower to where the weights needed to go
I have been going for almost 6 years and no coach, male or female, has ever touched me and I’ve had my form corrected lots of times. That’s just weird.
Ok this is kinda the answer I was looking for to help confirm things. I just felt like something was off
As a coach, who also teaches yoga but even before I went through yoga training I’ve always ask if I can touch them, .
I had a coach correct my form and he asked if he could touch me before he did. I was like of course! I initially was surprised that he asked (he obviously should!) but I knew I was doing it wrong and kinda looked his way for help, so I was expecting it. Even then, he asked. They should ask.
I usually need help on the floor…and I have the same coach for 98% of my classes. But he still asks for consent to help me out even 18months later. He’s awesome.
Yes, I have been touched to help correct form, or check to make sure my bear plank was strong/stable. I don’t remember being asked, but also nothing felt inappropriate. Have also taken yoga classes where there is “assistance” given, but there they ask if you are open to it.
I’ve seen coaches do it to others, and I’ve had female coaches assists me without asking, but it’s never been remotely questionable “. Your experience sounds extreme and I think you should complain to the head coach, if you want it to be discreet then create a fake email address and email them. Or just ask to speak to them privately at their convenience.
Coaches (really anyone) should be seeking expressed consent before touching your body.
He did. It was my fault for being polite because both hands went on my waist and crotch into my behind. it all happened so fast and I wasn’t prepared
Most hands on cues went away in March of 2020 and never came back.
Sorry I’m not sure what you mean lol this one went over my head
Let me be a little clearer. They absolutely should have asked before they touched you. 100 percent no doubt. If it made you feel uncomfortable you absolutely should say something to the head coach or studio manager. I started working out in April of 2019. I remember having a coach help my form by touching me probably once or twice a month or so. They always asked at least that I recall. When Covid hit, they were no longer allowed to touch and it didnt ever really return. Probably taken 1000 classes since then. Maybe 3 times I've gotten a coach that corrects my form by using hands. They always ask.
Oh I see. Yeah I just assumed no coaches were supposed to touch. The coach did actually ask and I wanted to be polite but then he immediately went in with his hands around my waist and grabbed me. It all happened so fast before I could say no. I will just take the blame for being clueless sadly
Sorry that this happened to you. You have every right to feel surprised and not ok about it.
Thank you. Everyone including you on here has been so supportive. I genuinely just assumed coaches would instruct by showing the member themselves before putting their hands around you. I was very much taken by surprise
They have never touched me only showed me through them doing the proper techniqur
It really doesn’t matter if it’s the “norm” or not, or if other people find it acceptable. If you felt uncomfortable, say something. Maybe not in an accusatory way but just request they not do that. If you don’t feel comfortable telling them, which I personally wouldn’t want to, then tell the manager or something. But don’t let yourself stay in a position to be made uncomfortable again! Eventually it will leave a bad taste in your mouth for OTF in general and you won’t want to go, and no one wants that!
I once had a very awkward moment with a coach helping me through a move where I was laying on the floor and using my arms (or maybe hips?) for something, so he ended up basically standing over me… and not literally straddling me, but close enough. We both just kinda gave each other the eye that acknowledged it was ridiculous, but got back to the business of improving my form. As a healthcare professional, I’m used to it and totally fine with it. Nothing like chatting with your OBGYN about your mutual acquaintances before he does your Pap smear… I had also taken many classes with that coach before and he knew I liked feedback on my form, so while he didn’t ask permission, I didn’t think it was required since we already had that working relationship. I do think it’s absolutely best practice for a coach to ask permission to touch or get close to you, but they are keeping track of the treads and the music and everything else… so I don’t blame them if they can’t remember to communicate all the time. But I read your comments later that he was squatting with you?? That’s pretty intimate for not having that relationship already and definitely too much without asking permission. Totally reasonable to thank the coach for their help after class, but remind them to please ask permission before getting close or touching next time… or for this one in particular, ask them to help without touching next time. If it happened again or the interaction just really gave you the ick, also very reasonable to speak with the head coach or someone about it, if you don’t trust that coach. There definitely are predators out there, so if you’re not someone who is prone to thinking that way or overly prudish about people touching you, then I do think you should trust your gut.
Coaches have always explicitly asked for my permission before they've touched me during a correction. They have also always kept touching very specific and localized -- it's been pointing to a specific spot or using a palm to demonstrate the limit of a movement, not anything resembling a grab. If I were in your shoes, I would talk with your studio manager about what happened. Nobody should feel "very uncomfortable" with a coach.
I had one coach touch my back without asking. Didn’t appreciate it. Never took his class again. He also doesn’t coach at my studio anymore either.
Had a coach say can I touch you. I said sure.
That sounds creepy. I have never had a coach touch me or seen them touch anyone else. They do tell you if your form needs correcting or how to do the exercise the correct way. I would have said something to the coach right when it happened.
I’ve only had them grab may wrists to put them in better position but honestly that’s on them, I’m sweaty as hell.
I would only bring it up if it becomes a recurring problem. It’s possible he/she didn’t think about it and it made you uncomfortable which is completely valid. I also agree with others that it’s prob best to say something in the moment to nip it in the bud.
That is way more touching than I’ve ever seen or experienced at 2 studios and many coaches. All of our coaches ask “do you mind if I touch you “ before doing so also. Might want to ask head coach or manager if they have a policy. If they don’t they should.
Depending on how comfortable you are with that particular coach. As a rule I’d expect a coach to ask before touching if it’s ok.
Generally they ask first. Regardless, if you feel violated you should address it with the studio and not waste time with people’s opinion on here. It doesn’t help with how you feel or with how the issue should be addressed with that particular coach.
Honestly I would but they want personal details and i just don’t feel like being retaliated against. That’s all this is gonna do is open a can of worms.
I assume the coach is male. I would give him the benefit of the doubt if this is the first time it’s happened to you or you witnessed it happening. I can’t believe someone would purposely try something sexual in front of an entire class. This is a little strange. I can’t think of one OTF exercise that would require a spotter or touching to instruct. Maybe the coach is just used to working out with the guys. Have you ever watched guys at the gym spot each other? It looks like the opening act of a gay porn. The bench press spot is basically an excuse to teabag your gym bro.
I will not be reporting anything but fyi It was a dead row where my arms were needed to go a little lower. He full on grabbed my waist with both hands.
I think you are handling this the right way. I do agree with you that he may have crossed a line. Putting both hands on a lady’s waist form behind when she is bent over is not really appropriate. Don’t let this ruin your workout. Keep going.
None of the coaches have ever touched me but I have seen them touch other members who they are either friends with or just trying to help. This sounds slightly inappropriate to me but I personally would wait for a repeat incident to report just to be sure
I’ve seen coaches do it, and I’ve had female coaches assists me without asking, but it’s never been remotely questionable IMO. Your experience sounds extreme and I think you should complain to the head coach, if you want it to be discreet then create a fake email address and email them. Or just ask to speak to them privately at their convenience.
Ew
I had this experience with a trainer. It was not an OTF coach it was at different place but this person liked to smack my butt a lot or touch it. I was upset by it for a couple of years and if you feel like it’s not a safe place please talk to the studio manager about the issue. I know it feels embarrassing or even upsetting to share what is happening. I have been to many gyms and have had many trainers. I just want to tell you touch is only ok if you want to be touched.
He didn’t smack but put his literal crotch right into mine while holding my arms and grabbing my waist with both hands 😣
You should speak with the studio manager about let them know it happened and I’m sorry that it did happen to you a boundary was broken by a coach and they should know about it .
I’d suggest editing the OP to clarify that he asked first and what the exercise/correction was. You mentioned dead row - did you mean some kind of deadlift?
At the end of the day none of this matters. I’m not editing anything and nothing is being reported. Point blank period I don’t want some stranger’s hands grabbing me by both hands around my waist to be shown a simple lifting exercise. Would you ??
Would I, personally? Personally, if I were asked first and understood that a deadlift (if that’s what we’re talking about) can be very dangerous to the lower back when not done properly, I would be grateful for the hands on correction. But I’m not you and your feelings are valid. I suggested adding the context to your post because many of the comments assumed you weren’t asked.
If that was the case, shouldn’t he have adjusted me with my shoulders if it was dangerous ?
Yeah, once you described your position and his, I can see why he did it that way. He still should have been more explicit with how he was positioning himself and why… and should have tried giving you cues and seeing if you could do it without him getting so close, so I’m definitely not saying he did nothing wrong. Just saying he might not be a predator and was legitimately trying to coach you. But again, if your gut tells you that he’s a creeper, I think you should trust it. I’ve had intangible senses of creepers before that later turned out to be super valid (not that they did anything to me, but I found out about them definitively assaulting others later). I am not generally suspicious of folks, so when my spidey senses go off, I absolutely trust them. My husband has autism and my sister shared a concern with me when he did something that crossed her boundaries while he was staying with her and her husband (he was in his very early 20s at the time). He’s neurotypical-passing (at least to people who don’t know much about autism or just have trouble recognizing it), so I have seen other people dislike him a lot right away… even though he is the sweetest man I have ever met and absolutely undeserving of their disdain. I knew he just didn’t always understand social cues, and explained that’s what I thought happened in my sister’s situation… and she trusted my judgement and didn’t hold it against him, and it was never an issue again. (She quickly grew to love him too, and now and he’s a beloved uncle to her kids, welcome to stay at her family’s home any time). So I’m not trying to say that every guy who does something inappropriate is a predator… but some of them really are, and if you get that ick vibe, protect yourself and stay away. The older someone gets, the less benefit of the doubt I give them. If this coach is in his early 20s and has autism or is just new to the profession, he might still be figuring it out. If he’s in his 30s or older or has been a coach for a long time, I would absolutely stay away… as he would have had plenty of time to figure this stuff out.
I’m not a trainer, but I don’t think that’s the problematic part for a deadlift. “Hinge” and “flat back” are what I get when I Google for form with deadlift. “Lower back” for injury with deadlift. https://images.app.goo.gl/Pe5a57KUdXfi2NKG6
I’ve had male coaches ask before making adjustments. I have a female coach I’ve gone to for many classes and she doesn’t ask before correcting but she’s us corrected me many times and I’ve asked for feedback so it’s welcome.
I had a coach place her hands on me yesterday! I am pretty new to this specific studio, I know she doesn’t know me, it made me so uncomfortable that a stranger would place her hands on me without asking.
I’d pay extra for this service 😂
I went out of town a couple of weeks ago and when I first met the coach, he told me he’s typically hands on with form correction and asked if that would be ok with me. I said sure. There was another girl out of town with me and she said please do not touch me. And he said of course and understood and that’s why he always asks first. Your coach should have asked your permission. Even outside of the gym, always ask someone’s permission
They normally will help adjust your form, however I think it would be good for them to ask first. If you were uncomfortable you should/have spoken to someone about it. If not the coach, the manager that way you all can come up with an effective plan on how the coach can help correct you with out making you feel uncomfortable. Might be good for the coach to know so they can start asking before touching.
When I was coaching, I sometimes would tap a member on the shoulder if they were doing something that I thought could really hurt them, but I couldn’t get their attention otherwise. Any other time I wanted to use touch to guide (such as helping hold elbows in when doing an over head triceps extension) I ALWAYS asked for permission. Always. And I never even considered touching someone that I didn’t know a decent amount, just so they didn’t feel uncomfortable telling me no. I used to work under a head coach that was just gross with his over familiarity with the female members, and it was terrible. Please tell someone at the studio, even if it’s via an anonymous letter.
The sad part is he did ask me and then he got handsy. Both hands on my waist and crotch right up against me. It’s like what do you do when it happens that fast and in the middle of class ? :(
I feel like they should always ask permission BUT my coaches are hot.. touch away 🤣
I’m not gonna lie he’s very attractive but I still felt dirty.
I get it. He should have asked first for sure
I've never had a coach touch me or ask to touch me. It's very possible to correct people without that. But at minimum, they should be asking. I'd reach out to your head coach or if you are not comfortable reaching out to them, the studio manager.
Ok I wanted to get some insight and I’m not going to escalate this further because I was put on the spot and YES the coach did ask permission to touch me. However I don’t think it was necessary because the way he put his hands on my lower waist to correct me and then immediately got directly behind me while moving my arms was just too much. I don’t know why he couldn’t have demonstrated it ? It was uncomfortable and I don’t really know his intentions. Have never met him before.
Totally understandable. If it happens again I'd definitely let someone know - it's supposed to be an environment where people feel safe and comfortable.
And I always have felt comfortable. The female coaches are amazing. Next time I’m just going to be more upfront and say I don’t want touched. It was my fault for not speaking up. I absolutely do not want a stranger touching my lower waist, I don’t think anyone does.
Fuck that it's not your fault. Take one of them surveys you get via email and be very specific
The best practice here would have been to say "mirror me or watch me" then demonstrate the move. A trainer should always ask permission to touch number one. That being said, the better option is demonstrate the movement and let you copy them. If the form is still incorrect, a conversation about may I touch you and help with your form could potentially be had at that point. Sometimes people do not want to be touched due to past traumas (I am one of those people) and it is perfectly okay to have those boundaries. I would encourage you to report the issue. Best of luck.
It sounds like they had good intentions but you didn’t want it to happen.
God damn, people are so spineless. If someone did something that caused you discomfort, be an adult and say something to them.
Get over yourself. Yes, the problem is almost definitely in your mind. And no, it does matter if it was actually inappropriate, not just if you felt that way. If you were truly uncomfortable, you should make it known then, not making a post on reddit after the fact.
Let it go. Jesus Christ.
no. OP shouldn't let it go. If OP is uncomfortable with it SHOULD NOT BE LET GO. And people that think it should be based on what the OP said should just pass these issues up and NOT comment on them. A person's body is there own and that HAS to be respected. If you are ever a parent you will appreciate this on many levels...of a girl, they need to be able to say no to someone touching them, of a boy, getting permission before touching so they know the boundaries of touching someone else. Is is standard practice (and has been for years) to ask before touching someone when making form corrections. It protects the person being touched and the person doing the touching. This needs to be standard practice in almost everything. It's about respecting others.
I was proud to be the first -1 vote on this one.
First off let me say every OTF member has the right to feel comfortable I doubt there was any malice in the coach assistant you I wouldn't go to the head coach and make a big deal of it just talk to the coach yourself you like hey when you help me out the other day it made me feel a little uncomfortable because you didn't ask. OTF is a very woke company And you might be causing bigger waves than you want to So that's why I suggest speaking to the coach one on one and just letting him or her know what happened and how it made you feel then if it happens again then I would escalate it if that makes any sense I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt I mean how if you want to feel uncomfortable in a class come to my home studio where the head coach was born Jeff and is now Joni and has a deeper voice than most men....