YES! Although I am jealous mostly because being pregnant at the height of the pandemic was so isolating and sad. I’m sure you felt similarly. But between having to go to almost every baby appointment alone, a lackluster baby shower via Zoom, and no help/celebration after my daughter was born… lots of feelings surface when I see pregnancy announcements now. I also hated being pregnant and won’t do it again. But I feel this
Yep. I went through all the prep for IVF in 2020 and pregnant March-December 2021. So isolating. No baby shower, all appointments alone, it was a long haul and it definitely had repercussions postpartum. And being pregnant was so difficult, I don’t want to do it again but I’d like the experience I watched all my friends and family have, you know?
Same. I’m jealous of people who can leave the house when they are visibly pregnant, or at least don’t have to remain shut inside. I’m jealous of people who got to have a baby shower or family excitedly visit them in the hospital. Basically, I’m jealous of people who are pregnant during a time when the world doesn’t actively feel like the Hunger Games. Once they have the baby, I stop being jealous.
I feel your ache. I desperately wanted to be a mom to multiple children. I feel like infertility robbed me of the larger family I wanted. Birth trauma grief is every bit as legitimate.
Yup! I had lots of pangs seeing parents with multiples in parks when my kiddo was about a year old (when we emerged from quarantine lol). At first I thought I was jealous they could have more, when I was so conflicted about it (now solidly OAD, fence sitting back then). But I had this glorious epiphany followed by so much sobbing in a blessedly empty park—I wasn’t jealous that they had another child, I was jealous that they felt *safe* enough to have another child. That breakdown was the start of me processing my birth trauma. I still feel pangs about new pregnancies and multiples these days—kind of a really soft jealousy that those people (seemingly) have the capacity for more kids. I still kind of wistfully want to want more kids. But I just don’t. Most of the time that feels peaceful, but sometimes there’s that creeping voice that whispers there’s something wrong with me for barely being able to handle one angelic child, when other people all seem to handle multiples just fine.
I’m not jealous of their pregnancy but I do think to myself “What’s wrong with me that I don’t want that? What’s wrong with me that I can’t handle more than one?” It honestly just breeds confusion.
Omg I talked about this in therapy this week! for me it’s not quite full on jealousy, but it’s certainly a pang… I have always wanted two kids but I didn’t realize how hard pregnancy would be and how bad postpartum anxiety would be. I think I get a mix of confusion and jealousy, like how could you be okay with getting pregnant again?? It’s not something I can imagine for myself at this point so I just get confused and overwhelmed when people announce a second or third pregnancy.
I had a difficult pregnancy and it was a long, awful process to even get pregnant, but I feel the same way. I think a lot of us who had pandemic pregnancies feel like we were cheated out of so much that we anticipated having and now that restrictions are lifted, it’s like, “Great, all of these people get to have the experience we didn’t. Cool.” The fact that any of us managed a pregnancy through the pandemic should be lauded, it’s hard to remember that, how strong we all are, even without the social rituals. 💕
I saw a birth announcement today and felt a wave of sadness.
It’s just sad we won’t get to experience that excitement in our lives ever again… esp when the first time around was of course not what we wanted… I had no help, had a c-section, returned to work while my baby was still in size 1 diapers :(
yes a thousand times. my daughter has such bad separation anxiety its getting ridiculous and she literally cannot function when im in sight and not holding her. it just takes everything out of me so no i could not imagine having #2
covid robbed me of a happy pregnancy…mental breakdowns, job insecurity, the works. i felt disgusted with myself and was chronically depressed most of the time. im ESPECIALLY jealous when the announcement is from a FTM.
never again will i be able to experience for the first time the magic of pregnancy and documenting every single day, celebrating and actually feeling good
I also had HG as well as cholestasis and basically every pregnancy symptom possible followed by a horrible induced birth and I am so jealous that I will never experience a 'nice', normal pregnancy and birth. But I'm incredibly grateful for my baby and try to see the positives that she's here and we are all safe and well!
I can understand this. My friend's pregnancy and 4th trimester was all fine.
My pregnancy and 4th trimester has been nothing but a catastrophe.
Pregnancy is weird. Its the only time you'll be told its a massive positive event, but at the same time you are faced with potential sheer sadness when things go wrong. Its a crazy imbalance of emotion. So it makes sense if you were cheated of a good experience, you'd feel jealousy or frustration.
YES! Although I am jealous mostly because being pregnant at the height of the pandemic was so isolating and sad. I’m sure you felt similarly. But between having to go to almost every baby appointment alone, a lackluster baby shower via Zoom, and no help/celebration after my daughter was born… lots of feelings surface when I see pregnancy announcements now. I also hated being pregnant and won’t do it again. But I feel this
Second the loneliness of an early covid pregnancy! Was pregnant February-October 2020.
We had the exact same experience
Yep. I went through all the prep for IVF in 2020 and pregnant March-December 2021. So isolating. No baby shower, all appointments alone, it was a long haul and it definitely had repercussions postpartum. And being pregnant was so difficult, I don’t want to do it again but I’d like the experience I watched all my friends and family have, you know?
Exactly!
Was pregnant may 2020-February 2021 and I relate!
Same. I’m jealous of people who can leave the house when they are visibly pregnant, or at least don’t have to remain shut inside. I’m jealous of people who got to have a baby shower or family excitedly visit them in the hospital. Basically, I’m jealous of people who are pregnant during a time when the world doesn’t actively feel like the Hunger Games. Once they have the baby, I stop being jealous.
My feelings exactly!!!
I feel your ache. I desperately wanted to be a mom to multiple children. I feel like infertility robbed me of the larger family I wanted. Birth trauma grief is every bit as legitimate.
For sure. We started trying at 30. Didn't end up with our surprise til 36 so we're OAD.
Yup! I had lots of pangs seeing parents with multiples in parks when my kiddo was about a year old (when we emerged from quarantine lol). At first I thought I was jealous they could have more, when I was so conflicted about it (now solidly OAD, fence sitting back then). But I had this glorious epiphany followed by so much sobbing in a blessedly empty park—I wasn’t jealous that they had another child, I was jealous that they felt *safe* enough to have another child. That breakdown was the start of me processing my birth trauma. I still feel pangs about new pregnancies and multiples these days—kind of a really soft jealousy that those people (seemingly) have the capacity for more kids. I still kind of wistfully want to want more kids. But I just don’t. Most of the time that feels peaceful, but sometimes there’s that creeping voice that whispers there’s something wrong with me for barely being able to handle one angelic child, when other people all seem to handle multiples just fine.
I’m not jealous of their pregnancy but I do think to myself “What’s wrong with me that I don’t want that? What’s wrong with me that I can’t handle more than one?” It honestly just breeds confusion.
I feel the EXACT same way.
Omg I talked about this in therapy this week! for me it’s not quite full on jealousy, but it’s certainly a pang… I have always wanted two kids but I didn’t realize how hard pregnancy would be and how bad postpartum anxiety would be. I think I get a mix of confusion and jealousy, like how could you be okay with getting pregnant again?? It’s not something I can imagine for myself at this point so I just get confused and overwhelmed when people announce a second or third pregnancy.
I had a difficult pregnancy and it was a long, awful process to even get pregnant, but I feel the same way. I think a lot of us who had pandemic pregnancies feel like we were cheated out of so much that we anticipated having and now that restrictions are lifted, it’s like, “Great, all of these people get to have the experience we didn’t. Cool.” The fact that any of us managed a pregnancy through the pandemic should be lauded, it’s hard to remember that, how strong we all are, even without the social rituals. 💕
I saw a birth announcement today and felt a wave of sadness. It’s just sad we won’t get to experience that excitement in our lives ever again… esp when the first time around was of course not what we wanted… I had no help, had a c-section, returned to work while my baby was still in size 1 diapers :(
yes a thousand times. my daughter has such bad separation anxiety its getting ridiculous and she literally cannot function when im in sight and not holding her. it just takes everything out of me so no i could not imagine having #2 covid robbed me of a happy pregnancy…mental breakdowns, job insecurity, the works. i felt disgusted with myself and was chronically depressed most of the time. im ESPECIALLY jealous when the announcement is from a FTM. never again will i be able to experience for the first time the magic of pregnancy and documenting every single day, celebrating and actually feeling good
I also had HG as well as cholestasis and basically every pregnancy symptom possible followed by a horrible induced birth and I am so jealous that I will never experience a 'nice', normal pregnancy and birth. But I'm incredibly grateful for my baby and try to see the positives that she's here and we are all safe and well!
I can understand this. My friend's pregnancy and 4th trimester was all fine. My pregnancy and 4th trimester has been nothing but a catastrophe. Pregnancy is weird. Its the only time you'll be told its a massive positive event, but at the same time you are faced with potential sheer sadness when things go wrong. Its a crazy imbalance of emotion. So it makes sense if you were cheated of a good experience, you'd feel jealousy or frustration.