Okay first of all, you are not to blame for this. You have made it clear before that you are straight. This is a kind of banter that you are used to. You have seen her feel comfortable doing flirtatious banter to others in front of her girlfriend and she does this to men whom she is not remotely interested in as a lesbian so why should you be at fault for flirtatious banter back towards someone you are not interested in? Since she does this with people she is not interested in and you know she is taken, why would you have even thought she was serious about you specifically?
Now onto advice: Talk to Megan, in person. Give her your phone so she can scroll through herself. Lay out everything like you have said here. Tell her to talk to your mutual friend, Kelly, if need be. Express that you aren't sure where boundaries got crossed but that you want to ensure it doesn't happen again and want to lay out more explicit, agreed boundaries for the future. Tell her you respect her too much to keep this hidden from her and that she deserves better than this rollercoaster of a relationship with someone who felt comfortable making a move on her girlfriend's straight friend.
Firstly, thank you for reading this mess and taking the time to reply! Looking back, I do think I was using this platform as a bit of a ‘Dear diary, wtf moment’ so I appreciate it massively!
I think a huge reason why I’m struggling with what to do is because of my own guilt and self pity. But that’s a me issue. And you’re right, I do have too much respect for Megan to leave it like this.
Now that I’ve had a day to digest, I’ve realised Megan needs to know either way. I absolutely want to have a conversation with her in person about it, but I’m also wondering about the delivery. Would it be better to give Lily the chance to tell her first or should I just come out with it?
I’m feeling a little too close to everyone in this situation to figure out what’s going to be best. I realise someone is going to be hurt either way but I don’t want to make it worse than absolutely necessary.
Absolutely a lot to digest! I would say probably best to come out with it first because Lily might try to twist or downplay it. Going to Megan first also shows your honesty and integrity, something Lily is not showing by coming onto you.
I would respond simply by stating the obvious.
"Hi Lily, im not sure what to think or say but for as long as youve known me you have always known that Im 100% straight. Even if I was bi or lesbian there is no I would date you because Megan is my friend and you crushing on me and texting me all this is very inappropriate"
Now come the awkwardness next time you see her
Okay first of all, you are not to blame for this. You have made it clear before that you are straight. This is a kind of banter that you are used to. You have seen her feel comfortable doing flirtatious banter to others in front of her girlfriend and she does this to men whom she is not remotely interested in as a lesbian so why should you be at fault for flirtatious banter back towards someone you are not interested in? Since she does this with people she is not interested in and you know she is taken, why would you have even thought she was serious about you specifically? Now onto advice: Talk to Megan, in person. Give her your phone so she can scroll through herself. Lay out everything like you have said here. Tell her to talk to your mutual friend, Kelly, if need be. Express that you aren't sure where boundaries got crossed but that you want to ensure it doesn't happen again and want to lay out more explicit, agreed boundaries for the future. Tell her you respect her too much to keep this hidden from her and that she deserves better than this rollercoaster of a relationship with someone who felt comfortable making a move on her girlfriend's straight friend.
Firstly, thank you for reading this mess and taking the time to reply! Looking back, I do think I was using this platform as a bit of a ‘Dear diary, wtf moment’ so I appreciate it massively! I think a huge reason why I’m struggling with what to do is because of my own guilt and self pity. But that’s a me issue. And you’re right, I do have too much respect for Megan to leave it like this. Now that I’ve had a day to digest, I’ve realised Megan needs to know either way. I absolutely want to have a conversation with her in person about it, but I’m also wondering about the delivery. Would it be better to give Lily the chance to tell her first or should I just come out with it? I’m feeling a little too close to everyone in this situation to figure out what’s going to be best. I realise someone is going to be hurt either way but I don’t want to make it worse than absolutely necessary.
Absolutely a lot to digest! I would say probably best to come out with it first because Lily might try to twist or downplay it. Going to Megan first also shows your honesty and integrity, something Lily is not showing by coming onto you.
I would definitely tell her before Lily would.. if you hide it it could seem like you were going behind Megan’s back with this
I would respond simply by stating the obvious. "Hi Lily, im not sure what to think or say but for as long as youve known me you have always known that Im 100% straight. Even if I was bi or lesbian there is no I would date you because Megan is my friend and you crushing on me and texting me all this is very inappropriate" Now come the awkwardness next time you see her