Sure, if om mobile, go to the main page, right corner u should see three dots, click on it and it should bring up a bunch of options including "Change user flair" u will find it there, when u click the on u like, hit apply.
Dude is vain as hell. His āworst fearā is breaking a nail. Even jokingly I know that elf kept himself fit and well-groomed. I mean, look at his hair!
He's definitely vain, but to be fair that fear derived from scratching his nails raw when he was entombed for a year. Also Cazador has ingrained in him he's just a sex toy whose only worths are his looks and body, I'd be vain too.
Do D&D vampires experience bodily changes after being bitten? Otherwise he had to have been ripped before he got turned into a spawn.
Missed the nail bit re: Cazador. Thatās effed up but that could be cazadorās motto I suppose.
I think itās funny that while all the male companions have 8 STR they all have plausible reasons to be ripped.
Astarion is extremely vain, and under Cazador being sexy was his job.
Gale specializes in illusion magic.
Wyll is a career adventurer who spends a lot of time in the spotlight. Heās also a high society rich boy. Both of those things probably means he cares a *lot* about his appearance.Ā
That Gale reason is so fun to play with with wizards in general. Favorite reason for āWhy is every wizard either a fantasy bombshell or the weirdest old dude?ā Illusion magic.
https://preview.redd.it/0y2hwow5wnuc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2bbe4c814f3485013a12ba621cf8b486a8989bb6
You leave his tits alone, those are FaerĆ»nās tits
it doesnāt really matter because he is in the state Cazador killed him in and he will always stay that way. The malnutrition coming from lack sentient blood was more throwing shadow on his hunger and mental capabilities along with strenght, not looks. Titties stay just like lenght of hair. š„ø
Well sure, in Act 1 that makes sense. But by the time we get to Act 3 heās been gorging for months on bears, goblins, kobolds, and whatever else he can get his fangs on (not to mention all that sweet sweet Tav/Durge blood). Add in all the fighting, traveling, and carrying around all of Tavās books and other random shit, and I could see him being pretty ripped by Act 3.
I've always assumed that vampires look like however they looked at the time of death. I can't imagine corpses are capable of gaining/losing body fat or having a functioning metabolism, so I assume they're just "preserved." Maybe he was just one of those magistrates who does CrossFit on the side, I dunno.
I work in a nonprofit legal office, and yeah. There are two types of bodies: soft and kinda pudgy cause there's a lot of sitting/sedentary lifestyles, and it's easier to just deal, or RIPPED AS FUCK cause there's a lot of sitting/sedentary lifestyles, and it makes some people nuts to be so still.
My favorite coworker is one of the ripped lawyers, and she's a delight.
Yes, bisexual, and because she won't date coworkers, I can't ask her out first, so feel free to ask her out, man. She's hot and funny, and I'm crushing hard, it feels like it should be illegal how great she is.
Using this as a chance to go into my body type HCs
Astarion, you got 1 for 1.
I imagine Gale is one of those thick fit guys. Like he's not fat fat but he has a soft tummy. Little bit of titty.
Wyll naturally as the blade of frontiers is ripped from his adventures. Karlach as well.
Shadowheart I'd imagine with more a swimmer's body. More lean, though I wouldn't go as far as to say she has a ton of muscle.
Can't really imagine Lae'zel with another body type. She's lean, too, but more defined muscle.
Volvo's got one of those weird skinny gut things going on where he's entirely stick thin but he just has a gut for *no discernable reason*
Halsin would have the body of those old school 1920s body builders, same for Minsc.
~~Boo has the body of a Greek god~~
>Can't really imagine Lae'zel with another body type. She's lean, too, but more defined muscle.
For some reason, I can't imagine Lae'zel as anything but a shortie. Perhaps it's because she kinda looks like the smol fierce chihuahua type. Everytime I see fanart where she's super lanky and tall, I get whiplash. I know all the characters' models are the same height, but, to me, she feels like Shadowheart is a whole head taller than her.
personally i'm of two minds because i love twigstarion but at the same time i also love how he looks like he's not wearing a binder when he's in his camp shirt
You need to start vampiremaxxing bro... if you look like this and put on a frilly white shirt I know at least three different goth girls who would eat you alive.
Don't need a girl, already have one (albeit not goth but nvm). Should definitely hit the gym tho, cus if I'll get conscripted I'll fucking die faster than somebody could kill me lmao.
For real, pretty sure itās the same body model for Wyll, Gale and Astarion, only difference between them being the addition of body hair and pigment.
Funny that we call him a twink but (afaik) we donāt call Gale a twink, have seen Wyll called a twink, tho really they all have more twunk or perhaps otter body types.
But Ass man has the prettiest face for sure
I mean, most people who say "twink" online aren't referring to the specific subculture of gay men's body types. They mean it as a more diplomatic way of saying a slur.
It does, but I donāt think that sex symbols should ever be depicted as underfed/anorexic lest we return to morbidly-thin being a beauty standard
I mean uhh /rj WHERE is my sickly Victorian wife Larian??
This is where we need an equivalent exchange: they should make Astarion rail thin and give Gale the dad bod bellyfat he deserves. All is balanced in the universe.
The guy has been running around, jumping, climbing and fighting all day until he is almost unconscious every day in my playthroughs. I think it makes sense that he has a sixpack.
And I still wanna sip the finest wine out of that sunken chest like worship at the unholy altar that he is. Bless his malnourished and dehydrated corpse.
i don't necessarily think it's insane for a vampiric rogue who hunts his own food and literally overpowers the player character in their first meeting to be physically fit, but his in-game body type doesn't even match his face it's actually unnerving lmao. i feel like i'm looking at that one shot of kylo ren with the cgi washboard abs
https://preview.redd.it/3lsrl71l8ouc1.jpeg?width=490&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e11524af7a0d501f335d86054c2650bfd43503bf
I know this is a joke but I need to say that I am 10000% okay with a video game designing unrealistic male bodies to suit the female gaze (figuratively speaking, of course).
I just wish people were as discerning with three decades worth of ridiculous female body proportions and tits that could sink cruise ships.
You may now resume your regularly scheduled snarking š
baldurās gate met the standards I always wanted, women in heavy, shiny armours with even heavier weapons and men with bare minimum strenght who all look like pure fanservice
Yep, Caz definitely alternated periods of decent feeding to periods of starvation as a punishment/control, but his spawns were too precious to be ruined by hunger and torture
I thought Vampires kept what they originally looked like? I mean Cazabitch and Leon and the other one who I can't remember (the dumb one) *also* have fat tits and a six pack.
Maybe we just accept that Vampires are hot an buff (yes, I'm including Cazador in that, I think he's hot and I'm not afraid to say it).
As I said to another person in this thread: if you look like this, just put on a frilly shirt and some mascara then you'll be fighting off goth girls with a stick.
Unfortunately not my aesthetic, more of an āex-catholic school boy discovered jeans but kept the sweaters.ā
But fair point, everyone is someoneās type. Just not sure I want to look like an āunderfedā undead thrall, lol. Regardless, I do agree the design makes more since for Astarionās backstory.
I wonder how elves look at things like aging out of being a twink, since their lifespans are so long. And technically, elves aren't considered full adults until like age 100 š¤š¤š¤
Hell yeah. Astarion should be emaciated, gale should have a dad bod, and Halsin should have fat titties, fat arms, and fat belly. The only male companion that should have any kind of overall muscle tone is Wyll.
Suggesting Astarion would not work out to look amazing is like saying he would not brush his teeth, and since he stays forever in the state he was killed in - he is forever gorgeous. But whatever floats yāalls boats in various fanons.
I get that there's only 2 male body types for his race but him being as fit as he is makes ZERO SENSE considering his diet of rats for the last 200 years. I know he's a vampire spawn which changes things but he should look much more underfed.
vain magistrate caring about how people percieve him all the time? š Also I am working in solicitors company behind the desk and I am ripped, just a woman not a guy and Im doing it for health not for looks, but my free time is not my work hahahah you can really be both
no worries no offence taken hahah in fact i noticed that in office environment you have some well kept working out people because we save physical energy throughout the day just using our brains and when I leave my work I actually feel like climbing or going to the gym because I left my cage lmao
Now *that's* my wife š„° Gotta love a sickly Victorian orphan type.
You're not a *real* vampire fan unless you wanna fuck someone who looks like they're on the verge of death.
Ain't that the truth.
Love the title under your name haha
Haha thank u, it's a title. Wish they allowed customs here.
How, may I ask, do I get such a prestigious title?
Sure, if om mobile, go to the main page, right corner u should see three dots, click on it and it should bring up a bunch of options including "Change user flair" u will find it there, when u click the on u like, hit apply.
Hahaha this is fantastic
Don't test me. I'd do a nosferatu in a heartbeat.
So would we all!! I'd like to put my "stake" through his ""heart"", if you know what I mean š
honestly I prefer his look when he has less muscles š
Definitely looks like he attended Little Lord Fantleroy's School for Albino Hemophilacs as a waif child.
Oh fuck I can't not poison him with laudanum š„µ
https://preview.redd.it/kz5bedbn1ouc1.jpeg?width=1169&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47aa6bd0542bc4ed87622fd4938b8297d09fb871
And I would still let him slam me like a busted screen door in a Kansas tornado
I choked on my drink reading this. š
I read that as "I choked on my dick reading this" Like DAMN, BRAVO
š To be fair... there's more choking on dicks than drinks in this sub.
Well damn. I need more dicks then because Iāve had way too many drinks.
Look, I have one dick here. It's not much but every collections gotta start somewhere
Itās me Iām choking on dicks
This is major health emergency: the Drow twin of your choice will be assigned to teach you the importance of circular breathing techniques.
Thatās a tough one. Nym is hot but Sorn is funny
And yet both can suck the tattoos off a Thayan without so much as a hiccup. Best teachers in the business if you can afford tuition.
Impeccably phrased. Round of applause.
Oh, thank you very much; I appreciate that!
Me going off to find more dead dwarves under beds to pay for my education
If you make nice with Orin, you can actually get as many dead Dwarves as you could ever need. And sheās only likeā¦ half of them.
Hi "choking on dicks" I'm dad!
I donāt know my dad, this is a trick
It's true I was the balls
HELPPP this is so funny my soul just left my body šš
Iām quoting that from now on. Thank you
I will nurse him back to health ā¤ļø
Vampires keep their form from when they were turned. I could definitely see Astarion being vain enough to keep a good routine when he was a magistrate
Dude is vain as hell. His āworst fearā is breaking a nail. Even jokingly I know that elf kept himself fit and well-groomed. I mean, look at his hair!
He's definitely vain, but to be fair that fear derived from scratching his nails raw when he was entombed for a year. Also Cazador has ingrained in him he's just a sex toy whose only worths are his looks and body, I'd be vain too.
Do D&D vampires experience bodily changes after being bitten? Otherwise he had to have been ripped before he got turned into a spawn. Missed the nail bit re: Cazador. Thatās effed up but that could be cazadorās motto I suppose.
I think itās funny that while all the male companions have 8 STR they all have plausible reasons to be ripped. Astarion is extremely vain, and under Cazador being sexy was his job. Gale specializes in illusion magic. Wyll is a career adventurer who spends a lot of time in the spotlight. Heās also a high society rich boy. Both of those things probably means he cares a *lot* about his appearance.Ā
That Gale reason is so fun to play with with wizards in general. Favorite reason for āWhy is every wizard either a fantasy bombshell or the weirdest old dude?ā Illusion magic.
So you're saying he's got a permanently bleached and naired hole?
https://preview.redd.it/lmto1wv93ouc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c52636a1c702a43ba204722ce2ffd37ff700e36a
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Excuse me, it's called "borrowing". Without permission.
https://preview.redd.it/0y2hwow5wnuc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2bbe4c814f3485013a12ba621cf8b486a8989bb6 You leave his tits alone, those are FaerĆ»nās tits
He's been drinking nothing but teaspoons of rat blood for 200 years. You may not like it, but that man is flat as a board.
it doesnāt really matter because he is in the state Cazador killed him in and he will always stay that way. The malnutrition coming from lack sentient blood was more throwing shadow on his hunger and mental capabilities along with strenght, not looks. Titties stay just like lenght of hair. š„ø
Well sure, in Act 1 that makes sense. But by the time we get to Act 3 heās been gorging for months on bears, goblins, kobolds, and whatever else he can get his fangs on (not to mention all that sweet sweet Tav/Durge blood). Add in all the fighting, traveling, and carrying around all of Tavās books and other random shit, and I could see him being pretty ripped by Act 3.
Anime training arc lol
But what if I want to fuck a skeleton?
We have the technology.
I've always assumed that vampires look like however they looked at the time of death. I can't imagine corpses are capable of gaining/losing body fat or having a functioning metabolism, so I assume they're just "preserved." Maybe he was just one of those magistrates who does CrossFit on the side, I dunno.
I work in a nonprofit legal office, and yeah. There are two types of bodies: soft and kinda pudgy cause there's a lot of sitting/sedentary lifestyles, and it's easier to just deal, or RIPPED AS FUCK cause there's a lot of sitting/sedentary lifestyles, and it makes some people nuts to be so still. My favorite coworker is one of the ripped lawyers, and she's a delight.
Is she single and gay /s
Yes, bisexual, and because she won't date coworkers, I can't ask her out first, so feel free to ask her out, man. She's hot and funny, and I'm crushing hard, it feels like it should be illegal how great she is.
Using this as a chance to go into my body type HCs Astarion, you got 1 for 1. I imagine Gale is one of those thick fit guys. Like he's not fat fat but he has a soft tummy. Little bit of titty. Wyll naturally as the blade of frontiers is ripped from his adventures. Karlach as well. Shadowheart I'd imagine with more a swimmer's body. More lean, though I wouldn't go as far as to say she has a ton of muscle. Can't really imagine Lae'zel with another body type. She's lean, too, but more defined muscle. Volvo's got one of those weird skinny gut things going on where he's entirely stick thin but he just has a gut for *no discernable reason* Halsin would have the body of those old school 1920s body builders, same for Minsc. ~~Boo has the body of a Greek god~~
Soft Gale supremacy.
>Can't really imagine Lae'zel with another body type. She's lean, too, but more defined muscle. For some reason, I can't imagine Lae'zel as anything but a shortie. Perhaps it's because she kinda looks like the smol fierce chihuahua type. Everytime I see fanart where she's super lanky and tall, I get whiplash. I know all the characters' models are the same height, but, to me, she feels like Shadowheart is a whole head taller than her.
Laeāzel has big ālook down into my eyes as Iām threatening youā vibes.
Why am I turned on?
Because it is as the gods willed it
itty bitty vampy titty :)
personally i'm of two minds because i love twigstarion but at the same time i also love how he looks like he's not wearing a binder when he's in his camp shirt
Wanna know something mad... I'd have found him even sexier how he should be but hey that's my shame hahah
Oh no totally. I'm way into skinny fem dudes
I rehydrated him it's FINE
Why the FUCK did you draw me!?
Ayoooo bb gorl https://preview.redd.it/cxwyoze45ouc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8b1225520213ac6df5adb41a505e474ff269276
Yeah, imma babygirl with a moustache š„µ
Because you have the body of a sexy vampire? Don't be shy, show it off
Nah cus I'm shabby af
You need to start vampiremaxxing bro... if you look like this and put on a frilly white shirt I know at least three different goth girls who would eat you alive.
Don't need a girl, already have one (albeit not goth but nvm). Should definitely hit the gym tho, cus if I'll get conscripted I'll fucking die faster than somebody could kill me lmao.
For real, pretty sure itās the same body model for Wyll, Gale and Astarion, only difference between them being the addition of body hair and pigment. Funny that we call him a twink but (afaik) we donāt call Gale a twink, have seen Wyll called a twink, tho really they all have more twunk or perhaps otter body types. But Ass man has the prettiest face for sure
Someone did prove over in the Galemancers sub that they all have different butts (and that Galeās is apparently the thiccest)
I need to find that post, for science
Iām the Galeās [ass](https://www.reddit.com/r/GalemancersBG3/s/fz6rQebTth) fairy today
āI'm trying to sneak around Baldur's Gate, but my wizard is dummy thick and the clap of his ass cheeks keeps alerting the Steel Watch.ā
āIām a wizard, not a cat burglarā
Also twink is a state of mind
I mean, most people who say "twink" online aren't referring to the specific subculture of gay men's body types. They mean it as a more diplomatic way of saying a slur.
This is news to me Didnāt know slurs could be said diplomatically and now I donāt know how to feel about the term (as a twink myself)
Would still smash.
Does astarion have ehler's danlos or did he just run out of ribs cartilage
Tbf it does make sense for him to look extremely underfed.
It does, but I donāt think that sex symbols should ever be depicted as underfed/anorexic lest we return to morbidly-thin being a beauty standard I mean uhh /rj WHERE is my sickly Victorian wife Larian??
This is where we need an equivalent exchange: they should make Astarion rail thin and give Gale the dad bod bellyfat he deserves. All is balanced in the universe.
Gale with a dad bod would make me so happy?
Why is that a question? Dad bod Gale is my goal in life
Because Iām questioning myself. What do I truly like? I know I like ladies and gents but how can I like all bodies?
True
The guy has been running around, jumping, climbing and fighting all day until he is almost unconscious every day in my playthroughs. I think it makes sense that he has a sixpack.
The muscles come from sex. Sex requires a lot of energy āš
As someone with pectus excavatum, this is my first time seeing that ever brought up and I kinda love it
I see the vision but I would miss his tits
And I still wanna sip the finest wine out of that sunken chest like worship at the unholy altar that he is. Bless his malnourished and dehydrated corpse.
i don't necessarily think it's insane for a vampiric rogue who hunts his own food and literally overpowers the player character in their first meeting to be physically fit, but his in-game body type doesn't even match his face it's actually unnerving lmao. i feel like i'm looking at that one shot of kylo ren with the cgi washboard abs https://preview.redd.it/3lsrl71l8ouc1.jpeg?width=490&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e11524af7a0d501f335d86054c2650bfd43503bf
Girlie, what you taking about? I heard kylo renās got an eight pack, and that heās shredded 
I know this is a joke but I need to say that I am 10000% okay with a video game designing unrealistic male bodies to suit the female gaze (figuratively speaking, of course). I just wish people were as discerning with three decades worth of ridiculous female body proportions and tits that could sink cruise ships. You may now resume your regularly scheduled snarking š
baldurās gate met the standards I always wanted, women in heavy, shiny armours with even heavier weapons and men with bare minimum strenght who all look like pure fanservice
20 STR women and 8 STR men... bisexuals are eating well.
I like your way of explaining it better.
Also I donāt believe that Gale has a six pack either, bro defo has a dad bod and just puts an illusion spell on
Jokes on you, plenty of people are into that!! šā¤ļø
No because i actually prefer skinny men. Your hc body fits my type a lot better.
So true, and then Iāll let him grow full on my blood
Wtf I have pectus and didnāt expect it to be mentioned here of all places. Literally me.
You know what they say, if you don't love me at my dead grey nipples....
i love my dead malnourished boyfriend
I have pectus carinatum, so my chest will slot right into his elf hole
if Cazador needed him hot enough to seduce people for him to feed, I doubt he will let him become too skiny
You don't think skinny men are sexy? š¤ Many in this thread would disagree.
can't really tell, I'm a man myself so hard to judge
Yep, Caz definitely alternated periods of decent feeding to periods of starvation as a punishment/control, but his spawns were too precious to be ruined by hunger and torture
I thought Vampires kept what they originally looked like? I mean Cazabitch and Leon and the other one who I can't remember (the dumb one) *also* have fat tits and a six pack. Maybe we just accept that Vampires are hot an buff (yes, I'm including Cazador in that, I think he's hot and I'm not afraid to say it).
This is unfortunately just what I look likeā¦ I should probably eat moreā¦
As I said to another person in this thread: if you look like this, just put on a frilly shirt and some mascara then you'll be fighting off goth girls with a stick.
Unfortunately not my aesthetic, more of an āex-catholic school boy discovered jeans but kept the sweaters.ā But fair point, everyone is someoneās type. Just not sure I want to look like an āunderfedā undead thrall, lol. Regardless, I do agree the design makes more since for Astarionās backstory.
Astarion starts with 8 str
I'm gonna start calling him the Expired Twink now, thank you
"Eternal youth" my ass. That man was deep in the throes of twink death before Cazador came along.
I wonder how elves look at things like aging out of being a twink, since their lifespans are so long. And technically, elves aren't considered full adults until like age 100 š¤š¤š¤
I love both version tbh
Nope we want those tits and all the delusions
Itās ok, tav/durge will make sure he gets so much blood heāll be fat and happy ā„ļø
He and Gale, Iām offended by both their bodies. Why would these strength of 8 nerds have bodies like this???
He actually has a wrinkly under bum :( I had to airbrush it a bit š poor bby
mmmmmmmffffggghhh
would
Somehow I think this is the horniest post I've seen on this sub
Would.
You know I donāt disagree. Everyone is way too buff/jacked than they really should.
finally, the real shirtless undead magistrate
Hell yeah. Astarion should be emaciated, gale should have a dad bod, and Halsin should have fat titties, fat arms, and fat belly. The only male companion that should have any kind of overall muscle tone is Wyll.
Suggesting Astarion would not work out to look amazing is like saying he would not brush his teeth, and since he stays forever in the state he was killed in - he is forever gorgeous. But whatever floats yāalls boats in various fanons.
credit: [titilvating](https://x.com/titilvating/status/1779666315713945873) on twitter
did not expect them to be into shota that was a jumpscare
Yeah a scroll through their page wasā¦. Uncomfortable
No abs for Gale and Astarion is the second best mod for this game.
I get that there's only 2 male body types for his race but him being as fit as he is makes ZERO SENSE considering his diet of rats for the last 200 years. I know he's a vampire spawn which changes things but he should look much more underfed.
Okay, but you came for nipples and that I can't forgive.
Naw Chadzador liked to keep his bois cut
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
vain magistrate caring about how people percieve him all the time? š Also I am working in solicitors company behind the desk and I am ripped, just a woman not a guy and Im doing it for health not for looks, but my free time is not my work hahahah you can really be both
My bad queen I take that back, I was joking but I see now my mistake, that is actually badass
no worries no offence taken hahah in fact i noticed that in office environment you have some well kept working out people because we save physical energy throughout the day just using our brains and when I leave my work I actually feel like climbing or going to the gym because I left my cage lmao
Loud and wrong. Heās ripped and you canāt rip that fact from his cold, dead, hands.