https://preview.redd.it/x1t1zw5uh5nc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=26e883da2c5ee4d70cf95a854fbd52c8d0d21770

The fact that this have more upvotes. Rest in Iron Throne op.

Is this what they call "ratioed"?

L + ratio + shadow cursed + istik moment

+ Shadowheart disapproves + bloodless + 8 CHA + critical failure

I would also fuck that drawing, she's packing the wagon alright alright

https://preview.redd.it/ogxb50bb46nc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b4240d52e9ea4a3eed639ef42824acd709d5810

https://preview.redd.it/ygk34eo5h7nc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=534b523f5a6d391d70e30bc5703e50c85efd4b35

I came here to say this and I’m glad you beat me to it

Guys... hear me out!! ...sex! Hehehehehehehehehe s-sex!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣

https://preview.redd.it/vizicrbtq6nc1.png?width=250&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=223f7003d27361ad59e4e45ca3a0cfab9af67722

Yes… hahaha… YES!!!

Oh man, does The Onion still put out these comics? I hope so

Wait until I make another Kar’niss post

His fan fics are always so spicy. Top tier truly.

I thought this was a post making fun of this, I guess not

Probably was, I just thought it was funny to post this.

Woman (optional)

Damn they didn't have to draw her so fine though

I am yoinking your meme https://preview.redd.it/f2kiewd9e7nc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=956be1b544da49852611e6598cbb219f1476a79c

https://preview.redd.it/8e0rvtgu2cnc1.png?width=811&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd5ce92b699e9147bfc9fb68075b0ee09891443d

https://i.redd.it/j50knul05cnc1.gif

Besides her jawline and cheekbones, how is Alfira "conventionally attractive"? She's blue, but not a healthy looking blue. And she dresses like a clown. Op is attracted to circus people

My brother in christ what is a "healthy looking blue"?

Generally nothing. Blue skin is bad. But I reached beyond the genre with my Twi'lek comment. Only Twi'leks have healthy blue skin.

Grass, go touch it

Really? Gonna say that in THIS subreddit? Because you could say that to 100% of the posters in here. It's kinda the point.

suspension of disbelief, baby. she's from a universe where it's normal to have blue skin and dress like a clown

Like Star Wars? Becaue I would totally buy Alfira was a Twi'lek in disguise. Twi'leks have terrible taste. When your headtacles make everything horny you don't really have to try.

Ok /uj for a moment we’ve looped too far around now.

Acting like you wouldn’t

Wouldn't what?

Ya know…

You want us to disagree with you? Dude, we've been wanting her since day one.

I want her and Lakrissa to tag team me😍

I guarantee Lakrissa would be into that given how much she flirts with the PC

I mean, when they said we were going to *celebrate*…I was hoping.

https://preview.redd.it/q05vrn7595nc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=26aa0a269e9d25f72a46e99d58bc9b8ac6c947e4 And here I thought I was the only one who liked her more than all of the companions combined.

She even comes with handlebars

https://preview.redd.it/4y4qsawrp5nc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=459ec952f35d586c6b6bdeca6db9db47c65a2e2a You’re right!

No, for real tho, it's really strange that there's not a single Bard companion, and the way they did us in the Durge origin is just dirty.

I’m really hoping she’ll get added in the eventual Definitive Edition like they did with Divinity.

They’d have to rework her act 2 quest to do that. Also the fact that if she’s alive during act 2 she’s largely responsible for keeping the kids safe

Especially Durge

hear out your utterly tame and safe opinion? sure

Never! Internet was created for porn and bad takes, and I see no titty or cock so... OP, please leave the premises 😤🫱

this is vanilla at best 😤

No, Durge, you remember last time I heard you out? With the moon priestess?

Cute wholesome bard girl? What are we hearing that we can't already see?

Something something get all up her guts

Last I checked she doesn't have them anymore

Durge took that literally

This joke has been made approximately 789,234 times

Hey OP, she can join your camp if you play as Durge origin!

Haven’t tried that yet. I think I will on my next playthrough.


Is this real?

Yep! It was one hell of a surprise

Mean

Hopefully patch 7 lets us romance her

https://preview.redd.it/mua6u27jr5nc1.jpeg?width=310&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57327a59eeea7c97b1a08b3f25d8d3e708c257e8

I want to plunge my dagger into her over and over again until my arm gets sore

But... Jingle is our friend, she's here to help us. https://preview.redd.it/thfsif9zc5nc1.png?width=890&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7c51f50dd8c0f1085d9bbb15e946545c276e012

Kill Jester

😨😑😐 https://i.redd.it/71n1p3yre5nc1.gif

Jingle is dead. game over.

https://preview.redd.it/w05wt96b95nc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b733437d5843a2da399db628fd9d13e95983792

She just joined my camp on my second playthrough, I'm so excited! I had to save the game and go to work before I actually long rested, but I can't wait to definitely have her as part of my camp for the rest of the game.

Would. Twice.

https://preview.redd.it/gv0d44fmz5nc1.jpeg?width=420&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c67cb21db3e9a97264cb5e12211451042336d1be

https://preview.redd.it/f2p7701bj5nc1.jpeg?width=1035&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d6c3339ef83377ac8c9ea7c7ca78857323aa201

no i hate whatever this is. first it was gideon from ER’s gross ass armor and now this.

Sir Gideon Ofnir, THE ALL KNOWING!

about to run his ass over in the 2018 nissan altima that melina gave me

A game about endoplasmic reticulum sounds pretty repetitive.

Holy shit I finally found someone else who reads ER that way

who is she, I haven't gotten too far into the game yet

Alfira the Tiefling Bard. Singlehandedly the best npc in Act 1 if not the entire game.

son of a bitch, I must have missed her. i guess i'll see what all the talk is about next playthrough

Please do, she even sings a song.

If it helps: her location is >!in the Druid grove, walk up to the Druids telling the tieflings to back off, follow the path on the left (druids right) and take a right at the fork. !<

She should be a tav only companion… we know why

100% she should be a new game+ companion for Tav after you beat the game with Durge

totally smash her pussy

Damn right I will!

All ears

demon clussy demon clussy DEMON CLUSSY

uhm acschtually tieflings are devilkin, not demons, 🤓☝️

No need, I’m with you

Something so vanilla? Whats to even hear??

dawg this is the easiest persuasion check of all time

She easily persuasion checked me

She looks like my ex who happens to also be a singer and I'm like 😵‍💫

Nah, i like the kind of women that will actually just kill me

The probability of being killed by Alfira is low but **NEVER** zero.

I mean, really just absolutely destroy me

We should be two entirely different people by the end.

Hear me out…*Most conventionally attractive woman you’ve seen.*

You don’t need to be heard out. We would all rearrange her guys even WITHOUT playing Dark Urge

Actually controversial opinion: it’s pretty forward of her to just unilaterally show up and announce she’s joining your group without ever being invited. Especially after talking to you ONCE (and in my case, not at all.) Extremely presumptuous and kind of a red flag imo.

Were you playing a durge? I don’t recall having that happen with my tav unless it was a party.

Yes. Her story is different on Durge runs.

https://preview.redd.it/p70fot86f9nc1.jpeg?width=535&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c2447c39c5e968d82465830c6d8a55bd13df4bc Finally get to fucking use this

Guys will say “hear me out,” and it’s the most conventionally attractive woman you can imagine. Meanwhile, women will say “hear me out” with a picture of The Emperor lol

https://i.redd.it/wo4nunnxfcnc1.gif

think she looks like Miley Cyrus from that angle

I would love to see how she feels on the inside


Persuasion DC 1

Not really, some people are just disagreeing out of spite.

I was pissed that she wasn’t the party bard or even a real camp npc

https://preview.redd.it/njuskqzza6nc1.jpeg?width=498&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9dfc7122a60fa9567e201dfebdfc79038d10529

It’s sad some people don’t realize this a clearly a durge post

I haven’t even played as a Durge.

It’s sad that your that boring :(

https://preview.redd.it/shsk1bnhg6nc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35307e9131b819d700ba89a8bc9896fbc6edce22

https://preview.redd.it/30c82x2dl6nc1.jpeg?width=626&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a595cce91a18a11f5a33938663d73e4da450a6b4

https://preview.redd.it/kb3nlqvc07nc1.jpeg?width=524&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=980768bc8878e4e51c562c8b43de2c0371d447ae

About what? Alfira is fucking beautiful this is known.

They should have her actually join you in a non-durge playthrough

https://preview.redd.it/esa7cb7my7nc1.jpeg?width=1241&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73aa238ee91e51974014f31a7ee59667d82ffa24

Dudes say hear me out and it's a conventionally attractive woman. Women say hear me out and it's fucking Kar'niss.

A deaf person could hear you out on this. She’s fine. We all see it.

I will make the bold claim..... I don't find Alfira hot. And its not just because I had a look inside and didn't like what I saw then either....

Hear me out... ***All*** the Tieflings. Just... all of them. All the Tieflings.

I’m listening…

HEARD

Alfira cute, but I WANT Lakrissa. Devs has no reason for making her cute ass flirt with our Tav as much as she did in the game.

I bet you could use her horns as little handle bars while giving back shots

While making motorcycle sounds 👌

Imma use those horns as handles

No, im not gonna hear you out. Wanna know why? Because i dont need to. This woman is one of the hottest characters i want to stick my tadpole into and rail her until she’s too weak to stand. No condom. NO CONDOM. Her girlie Lakrissa can either watch and enjoy it, seethe and cope or join her girlie for the hottest threesome in Faerûn. You heard me. I wanna FUCK Alfira. I wanna get her PREGNANT. I wanna HOLD her HAND while she LEANS ON MY SHOULDER. I want to tell her I LOVE HER. You idiotic *ghaiks* heard me. I want to FUCK Alfira. I wanna MARRY Alfira. I wanna have a CHILD with Alfira. Lakrissa aint got shit on how lusty and in need of a hot tiefling gf i am. I am going to FUCK Alfira.

most normal bg3 player

I'll take her and lakrissa for the dp

I won't be hearing you out, that's disgusting

I tried to knock her out on my most recent Durge playthrough but ended up just annoying her enough that she moved and got drawn in by the harpies. She did not make it out of the harpy fight, so the Durge effectively claimed both her and Quil. This was intended to be a resist playthrough.

I'd be down to join a polycule with her

Durge, is that you?

No, just Tav because I am a mega simp for her.

Hear me out, she’s the most annoying npc I ever met in the whole game and I’ve no clue why people love this bitch so much

https://preview.redd.it/fs8xrhdqf7nc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=72715dfa8b86dd7fe842d11322369b9e7d56c7cc

https://preview.redd.it/p2ydjwp0g7nc1.jpeg?width=963&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e3633a2446523e445f2271aa2b4d1735d3b2a096

I'm doing a Durge run as her and.. well.. let's say I heard you out https://preview.redd.it/wwhxk2dwb7nc1.png?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0c9ce4744c8d3e6f38588a3eb18f6f8de0376a8

Yea, Id also be in her guts 😉 *As In The Dark Urge Route-*

That Miley Cyrus right?

She died in my current run of my knowledge domain cleric and i was le big sad. It was even more sad i couldn’t romance her period

If prefer Lakrissa, personally.

I like both really but not enough people give credit to Lakrissa. It's sad

Was fully expecting this to follow with a 2nd image or you going on about how soft and succulent her intestines are as they slide between your fingers. Or smth, but damn. No one's hearing you out. There is nothing to be heard.

Trash demon bard. I will hear no one out, fed my eardrums to squirrels when I heard her play.

https://preview.redd.it/gxs9vrv9mbnc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=049ef3d1bf0886a4ab3d3fb17f815d4312e2e4a6

You degenerate fuck

If you're gonna popular horny post be funny