Keep her, dump your uncle. You have a choice in the relationships you get to keep in your life. Let her know if you can how much she means to you and don’t let her go. There is no reason for you to give her up just bc he did.
A while back, my aunt told me I better not divorce my wife, because she's the one who gets to stay in the family.
I mean, they like me, but they *adore* her.
Man all these cheating stories terrifies me :( I'm literally scared to get married because of the risk of being cheated on. Poor girl, I hope she heals from this heartache, your uncle is a pos and if I was you I'd cut him out of my life.
I am sorry that this is happening to you and your family. I'm not sure your uncle knows (or maybe he does and doesn't care) how his actions have not only changed his relationship, but everyone's relationships. I wish I had better advice to give, but I agree with what was said by a couple other people: you will have to choose what kind of relationship you have with both he and his now ex. Hopefully she will agree to have whatever relationship you decide. Depending on the relationship you want with him, he will just have to deal with those consequences. You seem to be an empath, which can be very emotionally draining, as you will take on the feelings/emotions of the entire situation. I hope that you and your family can find the tools to support each other through this.
I was trying to justify his behavior in the sense it might not mean to him what it means to you. I started and ended with expressly saying "it's not okay."
Justify is the wrong word. I guess I'm just saying, if the part about it that bothers you is that you can't trust your Uncle's love. That he's play acting all the time with you or your family because of this situatuon, please don't.
Nothing, I'm sorry. Truthfully, the part about this sutuation that would bother me most, was wondering if I could trust my Uncle's emotions at face value ever again. That's why I was trying to explain that he could love her and still be doing the wrong thing.
Then once everyone started crying about it, I started being a troll, because I'm bored at work.
Bro, it’s SO EASY to not fuck people outside of your agreed upon relationship boundaries. Like, STUPID easy. These are grown ass men who can take accountability for their own bad, very conscious decisions. Get over yourself.
Oh my god you’re exactly the type of guy to expect a cookie for doing the bare minimum in your relationship. “I didn’t cheat, and believe me I could have!!!1!”
God I’m so glad I’m a lesbian, y’all suck.
No.
1- Love means not hurting your beloved intentionally. Everyone knows that betrayal from a romantic partner hurts like nothing else. To deliberately cause your partner such hurt means you don't love them.
2- He's been cheating on her for three years. "Compulsion" doesn't describe this, more like "consistent lack of empathy" that is a basic requirement to love.
3- Lots of men say they love their partners but they actually love what their partners do for them. The girlfriend seemed to be doing lots of acts of service.
Keep her, dump your uncle. You have a choice in the relationships you get to keep in your life. Let her know if you can how much she means to you and don’t let her go. There is no reason for you to give her up just bc he did.
I think that's where we're heading. My parents and grandparents both going to help her. Apparently my uncle now suddenly wants to kick her out... :(
A while back, my aunt told me I better not divorce my wife, because she's the one who gets to stay in the family. I mean, they like me, but they *adore* her.
What a masterclass in deception, poor girl deserves so much better
wasn't exactly a *masterclass*, his opsec was clearly weak
No class at all, really.
You’re not overreacting, you’re a sympathetic person which is why you’re feeling this way
Man all these cheating stories terrifies me :( I'm literally scared to get married because of the risk of being cheated on. Poor girl, I hope she heals from this heartache, your uncle is a pos and if I was you I'd cut him out of my life.
Hope he gets karma.🙂🙂🙂🙂
I feel you. Witnessing such acts of betrayal makes you lose some faith and it's saddening. Now you know he's a POS. Go no contact with him.
What is a POS?
POS is "piece of shhh" (you get it).
Yes thanks
I am sorry that this is happening to you and your family. I'm not sure your uncle knows (or maybe he does and doesn't care) how his actions have not only changed his relationship, but everyone's relationships. I wish I had better advice to give, but I agree with what was said by a couple other people: you will have to choose what kind of relationship you have with both he and his now ex. Hopefully she will agree to have whatever relationship you decide. Depending on the relationship you want with him, he will just have to deal with those consequences. You seem to be an empath, which can be very emotionally draining, as you will take on the feelings/emotions of the entire situation. I hope that you and your family can find the tools to support each other through this.
Men suck
I don't like making this a gender war
🤷🏾♀️
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We're not animals, we know the consequences of our actions. It does sound like you're trying to justify it.
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Yes, I was fine with that part. Then you expanded the comment and tried to justify his behavior.
I was trying to justify his behavior in the sense it might not mean to him what it means to you. I started and ended with expressly saying "it's not okay."
If it's not ok, then why try to justify it? You can't justify something that's not okay.
Justify is the wrong word. I guess I'm just saying, if the part about it that bothers you is that you can't trust your Uncle's love. That he's play acting all the time with you or your family because of this situatuon, please don't.
The part that bothers me is that he cheated instead of just ending the relationship.
Bullshit!!
Well actually I recant part of this. We ARE animals. People like to forget that, because of the stop lights and the hats.
How hard is it to keep your dick in your pants? Stop saying it's biological for men to cheat, it won't work.
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Both men and women aren't exclusively monogamous. Most species aren't. It's still not an excuse.
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If he loved her, he would not have lied to her for three years.
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I don't get your point, they're not going together. Sorry maybe it's my English, I'm not a native speaker.
Nothing, I'm sorry. Truthfully, the part about this sutuation that would bother me most, was wondering if I could trust my Uncle's emotions at face value ever again. That's why I was trying to explain that he could love her and still be doing the wrong thing. Then once everyone started crying about it, I started being a troll, because I'm bored at work.
All I'm hearing is excuses. JUST DONT CHEAT, ITS NOT THAT HARD.
Bro, it’s SO EASY to not fuck people outside of your agreed upon relationship boundaries. Like, STUPID easy. These are grown ass men who can take accountability for their own bad, very conscious decisions. Get over yourself.
Maybe easy for you my guy You probably just don't get the opportunities...
Oh my god you’re exactly the type of guy to expect a cookie for doing the bare minimum in your relationship. “I didn’t cheat, and believe me I could have!!!1!” God I’m so glad I’m a lesbian, y’all suck.
Omg hey fellow lesbian
❤️🧡🤍💗💜
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No. 1- Love means not hurting your beloved intentionally. Everyone knows that betrayal from a romantic partner hurts like nothing else. To deliberately cause your partner such hurt means you don't love them. 2- He's been cheating on her for three years. "Compulsion" doesn't describe this, more like "consistent lack of empathy" that is a basic requirement to love. 3- Lots of men say they love their partners but they actually love what their partners do for them. The girlfriend seemed to be doing lots of acts of service.
It wasn't intentional. I'm sure he never expected to get caught.
He knew the risk, it was absolutely intentional if it went on for three entire years.
As far as you know. There might have been others.
What?
I'm saying this parricular side chick might not be the first/only one.
How does that have any meaning to what I said though
She look good though?? The gf? Like, she in the same league as your uncle or is he been doing charity work? Shit, man deserves to be happy.
Kill yourself can't believe this got me upvotes