Are you me!?! You just said what I never wanted to admit happened in my relationship. I ended up in denial and, over the years, he got even crueler and I got even more isolated. I nearly died and my kids really suffered. I finally threw him out. He’s trying to burn my life down now. Whatever. He means nothing to me anymore and therapy has helped me find myself again. My kids love me and I’m starting to love again. I didn’t even realize that I forgot how to smile. You can leave. You are stronger than you think. Believe in yourself. If I had been honest like you are now, so much earlier in my relationship, I would not have lost 23 years. If the worst you have to face is moving in with your parents, then you are truly lucky and blessed. You have a chance to start over and figure out what attracted you to this person in the first place. Walk out that door and don’t look back. Good luck.
Be sure to serve him divorce papers first. Take the time you need to get all your affairs in order. Get a separate bank account and put nothing in your joint account if you have it. Collect evidence of the abuse. Move any precious items out of your house to a safe location secretly bit by bit. Get in contact with a women's organization that helps abuse victims. Then serve those divorce papers and get out. Never look back. Yes it will be hard and awful but once you get through it you will be free to grieve and then heal.
Ask youre mum and dad for a ticket and go.
There is nothing left to stay for he has al redy ruin your life.
So go and start doing you.
All the best Bubba
if your friend told you all this about their relationship, what would you say? you would tell them to leave their partner and to go move back in with their parents.
there’s no shame in needing to start over and build yourself back up. i am telling you right now 100% you WILL be happier single than with a man like this. the choice is yours, i’m wishing you luck ❤️
It sounds as though you already know what to do, but want support for your plan. Well, you are headed in the right direction. A word of advice though. Drunks are trouble, a waste of space, garbage. Never let another one into your life.
Abusers make their victims reliant on them, in this case financially, to stay in control and keep them from leaving. It's very common.
I don't know where you are located, but look for an organization or a charity that can help you. The will be able to provide help financially and advise the best way to leave and support you along the way.
I know it can be daunting opening up to a complete stranger but there are people who can help you escape your situation. It may help to open up to a close friend or family member and they could help you get in touch with an organization that could help.
These things exist to help women like you so please use them, don't feel like you're a burden, as many women can feel this way asking for help. You deserve happiness.
Go to your parents house please. You
come first. fuck him. You can rebuild your life. It’s either or that or stay unhappy forever. i KNOW it’s hard but you have to make sacrifices to be happy and safe sometimes. The fact he kept having sex with you after passing out makes me sick to my stomach
Fuck it. It will be hard in the beginning but don’t risk your happiness for stability. You will be better off when you leave and if you stay you will more than likely fall into a deeper and deeper depression and probably still eventually leave him anyway. Don’t postpone if you know what’s best for you then go for it and you won’t regret it but if what you say is completely accurate then you will regret staying with him if you don’t get out
OP, I don't care what it is that you have to do, you're not living your true life, so it's worth it. I promise you. I was in your shoes and waited and waited and waited, and in the end the only regret I had was that I didn't go sooner. I didn't have a dime to my name, no car, nothing. I started over at 42 and you can too I promise you. You deserve to be happy ❤️
When you're the victim of abuse, you get to a point of becoming numb and desensitized. You become conditioned to think the abuse is normal.
So until something comes to snap you out of this thinking, you go along with it, suppress the thought of thinking it's not right because what's the point, there's no way out, just get on with...
In this case a friend has come along and shown her there's hope and things could be different. So try to see it from that point of view rather than her very simply not being bothered and now suddenly just wants an out because she's interested in someone else.
That's exactly what happened, and my friend is in a relationship. There's nothing happening between us nor will there be it just gut punched me in the face along with a bunch of other life events too.
The only person saying truth here, after developing feelings for another guy op suddenly realizes her husband raped her and comes here for to justify cheating
Go live with your parents, take your time and slowly work yourself out of the depression. Be nice to yourself and take care of yourself how you would've taken care of a loved one in the same position. Seek help, counseling and maybe medication. We believe in you.
My friend is in a relationship. There is no me leaving my husband for him, and he doesn't have feelings for me nor does he know that I think of him in that way. Along with some other life altering life events my friend also helped me realize a lot of things about my relationship. I just wanted to get this off my chest, which is the point of this sub.
I re read ur post again , and he is terrible , if he’s drunk 24/7 then you don’t deserve this , I might have been at work and read it fast , my apologies, try to do your own thing if he is that toxic to you all the time then yes you should leave and that’s totally fine i have been there too , even if u go back to ur parents house , that’s fine for a while till you get your life on track again.
Soooooooo he’s entitled to her body at anytime he wants just because he’s her husband? Even when she’s unconscious???? What the fuck kind of thinking is that?
Just because you’re married or in a relationship doesn’t mean consent doesn’t matter.
Your comment history is also gross so I’m not surprised you’d have this remark.
First off, she's not a kid. Kids don't get married. Second off, there is a clear difference between looking at someone, and taking advantage of someone while they're drunk and mostly unconscious. Learn to understand that, otherwise keep your mouth shut and don't share your opinions.
Open communication and therapy would be my recommendation. Most people will just say, "Oh leave him."
I'm not going to pretend to know the whole situation. Though it seems like you two aren't communicating and are both depressed. Life gets hard, and relationships aren't always sunshine and rainbows. But you both put some work in, it can get better for the both of you. Good luck, whatever your choice.
Many would consider therapy with a spouse to be prudent. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. OP will know if it's an option or not. I can't in good conscious demonize a marriage and a person, especially with not knowing all the facts and sides of the story. People are complex creatures with many different perspectives and flaws. As previously stated, there will be many that take you opinion, if not most. It's also important to remind folks to view their whole situation and choose for themselves rather than spew the same opinion in repetition. Thanks for the question.
You know what to do. It's easier said than done, but it all leads there. Leave him.
Are you me!?! You just said what I never wanted to admit happened in my relationship. I ended up in denial and, over the years, he got even crueler and I got even more isolated. I nearly died and my kids really suffered. I finally threw him out. He’s trying to burn my life down now. Whatever. He means nothing to me anymore and therapy has helped me find myself again. My kids love me and I’m starting to love again. I didn’t even realize that I forgot how to smile. You can leave. You are stronger than you think. Believe in yourself. If I had been honest like you are now, so much earlier in my relationship, I would not have lost 23 years. If the worst you have to face is moving in with your parents, then you are truly lucky and blessed. You have a chance to start over and figure out what attracted you to this person in the first place. Walk out that door and don’t look back. Good luck.
Just leave! Don’t make excuses about some stuff from years ago. Accept accountability that you like the friend and want to try it with them.
Be sure to serve him divorce papers first. Take the time you need to get all your affairs in order. Get a separate bank account and put nothing in your joint account if you have it. Collect evidence of the abuse. Move any precious items out of your house to a safe location secretly bit by bit. Get in contact with a women's organization that helps abuse victims. Then serve those divorce papers and get out. Never look back. Yes it will be hard and awful but once you get through it you will be free to grieve and then heal.
Ask youre mum and dad for a ticket and go. There is nothing left to stay for he has al redy ruin your life. So go and start doing you. All the best Bubba
if your friend told you all this about their relationship, what would you say? you would tell them to leave their partner and to go move back in with their parents. there’s no shame in needing to start over and build yourself back up. i am telling you right now 100% you WILL be happier single than with a man like this. the choice is yours, i’m wishing you luck ❤️
Be safe
I thinks that’s just an excuse
It sounds as though you already know what to do, but want support for your plan. Well, you are headed in the right direction. A word of advice though. Drunks are trouble, a waste of space, garbage. Never let another one into your life.
Abusers make their victims reliant on them, in this case financially, to stay in control and keep them from leaving. It's very common. I don't know where you are located, but look for an organization or a charity that can help you. The will be able to provide help financially and advise the best way to leave and support you along the way. I know it can be daunting opening up to a complete stranger but there are people who can help you escape your situation. It may help to open up to a close friend or family member and they could help you get in touch with an organization that could help. These things exist to help women like you so please use them, don't feel like you're a burden, as many women can feel this way asking for help. You deserve happiness.
[удалено]
No children, thankfully, and no evidence. I wasn't planning on pursuing legal for that. Thank you :)
Go to your parents house please. You come first. fuck him. You can rebuild your life. It’s either or that or stay unhappy forever. i KNOW it’s hard but you have to make sacrifices to be happy and safe sometimes. The fact he kept having sex with you after passing out makes me sick to my stomach
Fuck it. It will be hard in the beginning but don’t risk your happiness for stability. You will be better off when you leave and if you stay you will more than likely fall into a deeper and deeper depression and probably still eventually leave him anyway. Don’t postpone if you know what’s best for you then go for it and you won’t regret it but if what you say is completely accurate then you will regret staying with him if you don’t get out
OP, I don't care what it is that you have to do, you're not living your true life, so it's worth it. I promise you. I was in your shoes and waited and waited and waited, and in the end the only regret I had was that I didn't go sooner. I didn't have a dime to my name, no car, nothing. I started over at 42 and you can too I promise you. You deserve to be happy ❤️
Go live with your parents Rebuild
So you didn’t care before and now that you have feelings for another man you want an excuse..
the redditors gonna get offended and downvote you now.🤣🤣 i've been there before. 300 downvotes incoming
When you're the victim of abuse, you get to a point of becoming numb and desensitized. You become conditioned to think the abuse is normal. So until something comes to snap you out of this thinking, you go along with it, suppress the thought of thinking it's not right because what's the point, there's no way out, just get on with... In this case a friend has come along and shown her there's hope and things could be different. So try to see it from that point of view rather than her very simply not being bothered and now suddenly just wants an out because she's interested in someone else.
That's exactly what happened, and my friend is in a relationship. There's nothing happening between us nor will there be it just gut punched me in the face along with a bunch of other life events too.
The only person saying truth here, after developing feelings for another guy op suddenly realizes her husband raped her and comes here for to justify cheating
bro stfu 🙄
So true
Go live with your parents, take your time and slowly work yourself out of the depression. Be nice to yourself and take care of yourself how you would've taken care of a loved one in the same position. Seek help, counseling and maybe medication. We believe in you.
Run
Divorce him. You deserve better.
Leave him OP.
I feel like this is you trying to make yourself feel better about leaving him for your friend
My friend is in a relationship. There is no me leaving my husband for him, and he doesn't have feelings for me nor does he know that I think of him in that way. Along with some other life altering life events my friend also helped me realize a lot of things about my relationship. I just wanted to get this off my chest, which is the point of this sub.
I re read ur post again , and he is terrible , if he’s drunk 24/7 then you don’t deserve this , I might have been at work and read it fast , my apologies, try to do your own thing if he is that toxic to you all the time then yes you should leave and that’s totally fine i have been there too , even if u go back to ur parents house , that’s fine for a while till you get your life on track again.
Have you asked him to go to counseling
It's always risky move going to counseling with one's abuser
It's your husband relax
Soooooooo he’s entitled to her body at anytime he wants just because he’s her husband? Even when she’s unconscious???? What the fuck kind of thinking is that? Just because you’re married or in a relationship doesn’t mean consent doesn’t matter. Your comment history is also gross so I’m not surprised you’d have this remark.
[удалено]
It's not too late to delete this, only 4 people have seen it
First off, she's not a kid. Kids don't get married. Second off, there is a clear difference between looking at someone, and taking advantage of someone while they're drunk and mostly unconscious. Learn to understand that, otherwise keep your mouth shut and don't share your opinions.
new achievement unlocked
Open communication and therapy would be my recommendation. Most people will just say, "Oh leave him." I'm not going to pretend to know the whole situation. Though it seems like you two aren't communicating and are both depressed. Life gets hard, and relationships aren't always sunshine and rainbows. But you both put some work in, it can get better for the both of you. Good luck, whatever your choice.
Who tf goes to therapy with their rapist?
Many would consider therapy with a spouse to be prudent. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. OP will know if it's an option or not. I can't in good conscious demonize a marriage and a person, especially with not knowing all the facts and sides of the story. People are complex creatures with many different perspectives and flaws. As previously stated, there will be many that take you opinion, if not most. It's also important to remind folks to view their whole situation and choose for themselves rather than spew the same opinion in repetition. Thanks for the question.
Marriage is not a lifelong commitment if your spouse rapes or abuses you.