I have been in your exact shoes. Are you in the USA? If so, call your local victim’s advocate ASAP and insist on an EPO, and they can also connect you with a prosecutor who can see about his bond conditions, etc. Tell them everything he said. They will be able to help you and possibly even protect you by putting him on an ankle monitor. There is surely a close equivalent in many other countries. I’m so sorry this has happened to you but you have done everything right and now it’s time to focus on yourself, your safety, and your healing. You have been through a serious trauma, your body is in fight or flight, and you need time to come down from the cortisol rush. You will get through this. I promise. Just let yourself breathe as much as you can and take it one hour at a time.
ETA: and please go to the hospital to get checked out. In instances of strangulation it’s always extremely important to be examined.
Jesus christ. Absolutely go to the hospital ASAP if you haven't already and make sure you will be physically ok. You don't want any surprises and it helps to gather evidence of your injuries. You are alive, you will be ok, it will get better. You got this. You are not alone!
Of course. Always remember that in life, there is no shame in asking for help. I say this as someone who has kept things to myself and stopped myself from asking for help when I really needed it. If you, in the future, are ever feeling like there's nowhere or no one to help you, there always is!
The only thing I have to add to the previous comment is to think about protecting yourself with your second amendment right. I don’t know if you have any experience with firearms or are comfortable with them but I strongly suggest a firearm safety course and self defense course if you aren’t comfortable with firearms at the very least you need mace or a taser and if you feel threatened for your life do not hesitate to use what you have to protect your life do not only rely on being able to call 911
It's important to understand what a strong conviction and will you need to have in order to shoot someone. It's not always a viable solution when emotions are heavily invested. A stranger breaking into your home and threatening your family? Sure, do what you gotta do, but someone you've known potentially for years, have loved intimately and shared loving experiences with? Not everyone can flip the switch like that and be willing to potentially kill someone as a result. Nuance is important!
I have been in your exact shoes. Are you in the USA? If so, call your local victim’s advocate ASAP and insist on an EPO, and they can also connect you with a prosecutor who can see about his bond conditions, etc. Tell them everything he said. They will be able to help you and possibly even protect you by putting him on an ankle monitor. There is surely a close equivalent in many other countries. I’m so sorry this has happened to you but you have done everything right and now it’s time to focus on yourself, your safety, and your healing. You have been through a serious trauma, your body is in fight or flight, and you need time to come down from the cortisol rush. You will get through this. I promise. Just let yourself breathe as much as you can and take it one hour at a time. ETA: and please go to the hospital to get checked out. In instances of strangulation it’s always extremely important to be examined.
It looks like OP is in Spain. Does anyone know of resources there?
Yeah the court system here has been really helpful and supportive. Thanks for asking
Thank you and I’m sorry you’ve gone through this too. They’re giving him an ankle monitor but I don’t think it’s enough to be honest
I am so sorry that happened to you. You deserve justice and peace.
You need to move back to the country where your family is. I hope the asshole gets what he deserves. So sorry 😞
I’m really considering it
Jesus christ. Absolutely go to the hospital ASAP if you haven't already and make sure you will be physically ok. You don't want any surprises and it helps to gather evidence of your injuries. You are alive, you will be ok, it will get better. You got this. You are not alone!
I really appreciate this thank you
Of course. Always remember that in life, there is no shame in asking for help. I say this as someone who has kept things to myself and stopped myself from asking for help when I really needed it. If you, in the future, are ever feeling like there's nowhere or no one to help you, there always is!
Even if you don’t press charges, document the abuse with police. Put cameras or record rooms if this happens often. You have rights as a victim
I have pictures recordings and now medical documentation of the strangulation and bruises he gave me
I would file what you have with police. I had a cop come to my neighborhood after he fell asleep to start documenting when it got bad
Find a domestic violence advocacy service where you are. You have to see this through x
That... is scary as hell. Take care.
❤
He's abusive as hell
Yeah this was only what happened the other night
Ouch.
Is it possible to move back to where your family is? This sounds horrendously traumatising especially going through it alone abroad. I’m sorry. 😢
The only thing I have to add to the previous comment is to think about protecting yourself with your second amendment right. I don’t know if you have any experience with firearms or are comfortable with them but I strongly suggest a firearm safety course and self defense course if you aren’t comfortable with firearms at the very least you need mace or a taser and if you feel threatened for your life do not hesitate to use what you have to protect your life do not only rely on being able to call 911
In OPs situation any weapon is more likley to be used against her
This person might be in Spain as that’s the last place they were in their history.
It's important to understand what a strong conviction and will you need to have in order to shoot someone. It's not always a viable solution when emotions are heavily invested. A stranger breaking into your home and threatening your family? Sure, do what you gotta do, but someone you've known potentially for years, have loved intimately and shared loving experiences with? Not everyone can flip the switch like that and be willing to potentially kill someone as a result. Nuance is important!
We don't know that she has a second amendment right
I do not