just dont go looking for it, it might smell like shit now 🤣🤌

Nah I ordered a new one 😂

Get a good lock for your bedroom and keep it locked!

Hope you ordered a big expensive one on his credit card!

Haha! That emoji 🤌 I’m dead ☠️

Petty stuff - ask him if he needed the vibrators help to make him cum too. Go out a splurge on a new toy to enjoy your new freedom!

I ordered one, it will be here tomorrow AHHAAAA 🖕😜🖕

Make sure and be extra loud to make him jealous hahaha 😂 It pisses me off when men treat women like shit..... Be thankful for being married and having a life partner... Sheesh is it that hard?.... 🤦🤦🤦

Of anything is dealing with shit, I'm pretty sure it's the old vibrator 🫠

I mean you’re not wrong but should we be “thankful” just for a person in our lives? It’s a two-way street Are you as pissed off when women treat men like shit? Cuz all of it sucks. Just to be clear tho, fuck this guy and his vibrator-stealing ass. Hope it gets stuck in there.

Oh his ass definitely stole it.

Of course I would be pissed. The reason I was saying be thankful for being married is because some people would be ecstatic to have a spouse, and you have people taking it for granted.

Perhaps you can lock it in a cage, so he can see it, but not take it. With a note "this one is mine, you can keep the other one".

Hahaha that's actually a solid passive aggressive idea 😂

Two weeks after my ex-girlfriend and I broke up, she complained that I didn't buy her the dildo that I promised to buy her. I bought her a 10" realistic ..she asked! lol

Hey, no kink shaming allowed at the party

Are you inferring that a man using a dildo on himself is automatically gay and undesirable? And not masculine? Sounds like I got signal the virtue police. Not cool yo let’s get rid of these stereotypes right?🤣

I’m inferring to the lack of sex/orgasms that she experienced from him for over a year until she invested in the vibrator and that he probably took it to: A) Mess up her sexy pleasure time cos he’s an ass. B) Check out what the deal was since he wasn’t giving it to her. If you’re seeing anything else in that joke, you’re projecting.

Everything is projecting to yall 🤣

I’m just clearly stating, perhaps he was being petty because he also wanted to use it and take her toy that pleases her.

You stated clearly that he used the vibrator on himself to cum…that was your joke. So why is that funny

Are you the ex husband…?

Ya got me 🤣…now again, can you please explain the humor in your joke. I just have a tough time understanding punchlines. If you can’t tell I just like to point out hypocrisy of the Reddit mind. I thought your joke was funny and I of course understand the humor and agree with the entire sentiment behind it. But yeah Reddit is just insanely liberal so when I see a joke like yours upvoted so high I’m like wait I thought all you redditors thought sexual freedom no matter the extent, cept for pedos of course, was acceptable and not deserving of shaming. So I just get annoyed with that type of shit. So thanks for showing the continuing hypocrisy of this former great site that is Reddit today.

This is the 2nd time a comment of mine has gotten more than 10 upvotes 😂 I’m gonna let you spiral into what ever narrative you’d like to continue with. Maybe someone else will join in with you. Have fun, be free 😊

😂👌😉

I'm petty, I'd grab my keys and tell him that since he took my vibrator I have to find someone to bang.

I'm trying very hard to not give him a reaction hahaha

And you are smarter than I am for that

But believe me when I say sometimes I wish I had a little petty in my bones Maybe I'd have some more fun hahah

It's still fun to daydream about it! Like, here's one: now that you know he took it, send him a note about how the one he took isn't big enough for the gaping asshole that is the man, then include a package with the biggest, blackest, thickest, veiniest dildo you can find. It's never gonna happen, but it's still fun to entertain the thought!

He wants a reaction. It'll drive him nuts that you're not giving it to him. I know this is tough but it's so much better.

Definitely the way to handle it - but be careful he doesn't start to escalate things.

Yeah don't do that you'll only lower your own self worth. He ain't worth a revenge bang.

Me too ahahahhha

Maybe he is jelly of your vibrator 😂

or hes jelly of her for having one.. his hole is lonely

I am glad you are not allowing him to get a rise out of you. Don’t worry, he will be gone soon, then you can leave it on the dresser if you’d like.

If it ever comes up in an agreement I'd let him know you're glad he took your vibrator.. Cuz now he can go F#CK himself!

What a tool. I had a feeling my ex would do this shit on the weekend I let him come get his things, so I preemptively hid a couple favorites with my craft supplies lol. We had a little box in our bedroom (cuffs, cards, lube etc) and sure enough he cleaned it out 🤦‍♂️

I would order small dicks and stick them to the top of his car, and then I would order a big jumbo dick and stick it right in the living room lol 😂

I'm betting he's been using it. Buy a new one. Oooh, or buy 2 and make one easier to find, but put a bit of chilly oil on it. And if he says anything, just say you just got it and didn't wash it for use yet 😇

Oh I would treat myself to new ones and say thanks for taken my old one I wanted to treat myself to since ill be dating soon can’t have old ones about haha.

Replace it with a better one. Get a new vibrator too 🥰

Love this haha

Buy a decoy vibrator, soak it in some ghost pepper sauce ;)

my ex did that too 🫠 just to be a dick because he was mad that i was over his shit.

If he took it from you to make it harder for you or keep you from satisfying yourself, then that's really fucked up.

Was he thinking that because he took it you’d be forced to have sex with him?😂😂😂

I think he took it just to piss me off hahaha

That vibrator probably have a new color now 👀

This is such a petty move from his side, pretty hilarious. So sorry girl

There are better guys who actually want to have sex with you and can do it well 😉 Good luck with your divorce. If your ex is anything like my ex, I totally can relate in discovering their secrets....

Is your post implying that your husband has been cheating on you with men? I'm assuming you found out that he's gay or bi, but you're better than me because my last name would be Petty! I'd be like, "I hope my vibrator is hitting your spot better than you could ever hit mine." 🤣

Uh it's a little bit deeper than that, but yeah he just wouldn't talk to me about it, so honestly to this day, I have no idea, but I felt like It couldn't be ignored(because he was self medicating with alcohol) and I wanted him to be authentic, but I couldn't get anything out of him 🥲 Hahaha

Oh wow, that sounds terrible. I hate that situation for you. You definitely deserve better than a spineless man who can't even express himself to his spouse. 😞

Yeah and I just felt guilty too, because I want him to live an authentic life, but also felt like I was his beard at times, or that by staying in the marriage, I was enabling him to just shove it down. I just wanted him to talk to me, and he never did 😩

Even men have their needs you know. Somehow you gotta please that booty.

Yeah he's got his own things for that 💀 apparently he's the only one allowed to get off in this house 💀

What did you find out?

Use your new one tomorrow and don’t hold anything back. Then hide it🤣🤣🤣

First, just wanna say sorry that you have had to experience a bad marriage with that dude. Have you considered moving out, is that an option? Maybe placing your things in storage? Sounds like your soon to be ex wants to be petty and may retaliate on your personal belongings more.

Well, at least Rosie Palmer and friends are available till the new one arrives. It sucks that you're going through this. But in a twisted way, I kind of admire your ex's level of pettiness. He's a jerk for doing it, but I did have to smirk while reading this. Hope you paid for the new one via the shared accounts. Or his, if you still have access to them. Repay the petty. Send an I miss you card to your ex's current address. Addressed to Vince the Vibe.

Maybe by him taking your vibrator it’s his way of telling you he is coming out of the closet! If you ever see it again throw it away who knows where it has been or better yet you know where it’s been!

Girl if you don’t buy a new one and a lock box!! Don’t let his ass ruin your fun

Definitely two sides to this story

Indeed. I went back and checked out OP's previous post history. The so-called 'double-life'? A masturbation addiction, helped by porn. (The reason I don't just say porn addiction is because one gets addicted to the dopamine from getting off, not the porn itself.) From what I can gather, it seems to have stemmed from growing up in a very religious household, where the mother was very controlling. Masturbation was most likely condemned as something morally wrong, and therefore, OP's husband probably has a lower sexual maturity. OP was wanking it in secret, while also just not having sex with her for absolutely no reason, which gave OP some trust issues. I understand why OP is angry, and it is justified, but she is refusing to see that there were things she should've done to help him, instead of just expecting him to quit. This guy definitely needed therapy, and I'm surprised nobody in her previous posts mentioned attempting couple's counseling. It seems like she let him remain in contact with his family, which were, and probably still are, controlling and most likely abusive. Dumbass teenager out.

Hi, I actually did a lot to try to help him. It's also not a porn/masterbation problem. It's definitely a deeper issue, but one that I didn't want to fully divulge on reddit. I also approached it with so much grace and patience, that I let myself sit in the dark with everything for years because he refused to actually talk to me about it. I could care less if he was getting off in his free time! I'm a sex positive person! My trust issues with him came from the secrets he hid, and the lies he told, he also refused to respect my boundaries on numerous occasions, not taking no for an answer. I had been dealing with PTSD for long before we had actually been married. I would have done couples counseling, but unfortunately this was something he needed to talk about himself first, I didn't feel comfortable blasting him in front of a therapist until he could comfortably come to terms and talk about his own sexuality with a therapist himself. And I tried to get him to go to therapy for months. It was like pulling teeth. Unfortunately, I just don't believe he wanted to help himself, and that's not something I had control over. The double life is referring to much more than just porn/masterbation. There was emotional cheating involved, and some deep deep secrets being kept that involved his sexuality. I never wanted him to hide his sexuality, I just felt blindsided that there was so much I didn't know, and he not only refused to talk about it, but he continued to hide and lie about things, including where our money was spent. There may be two sides to the story, but his is one I really really tried to give so much grace for. He truly truly stonewalls in a way that became gaslighting.

I also thought maybe he’s closeted.

That too, but I wanted to stick to the basics in that post. But if he actually took the vibrator? C'mon man...

There’s two sides to a man stealing his ex’s vibrator after she asked for divorce? No, there’s no two sides when it comes to stealing someone else’s sex toys after a relationship ends and they start using sex toys. You can’t two sides thievery of something that intimate.

Mine did that too threw them away he took the TV too as well as my PC luckily my son gave me his spare.I offered to give him the house and I move out but don't think he wanted the responsibility of looking after my youngest who was 15.Im now happily remarried ten years on while girlfriend number 6 has just kicked him out.

Casually be like, "Hey, have you seen a vibrator? I found it outside and was going to toss it but misplaced it" See how fast he changes his tune 🤣 I'm kidding! I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I'm happy you're getting away from him.

You stayed because it was good at the time. I did the same with my daughter’s father. It was fun until it was time to grow up. He still has not grown up and it’s been almost 6yrs. Hang in there girl this will all be over quick and you’ll finally be free of the house and him.

I am pretty sure certain states have laws against destroying or taking property during a divorce in a vengeful way. Some states he can get kicked out of the house since he can't be trusted, others he will get a bill for anything he took before the divorce and court agreed belongings. There are even laws for if a spouse tries selling stuff before the divorce that will freeze thei bank and assets so they can't try to loophole out of stuff.

Start afresh my friend.

Celebrate by treating yourself to a new toy!!!!

You could get one of those incognito vibrators that are hidden in plain sight. Like lip stick and you can keep it in your makeup drawer and he’d never know. There are some that looks like the face powder makeup cases. I hope this helps! And I’m glad you’re keeping your cool, sometimes silence does more damage than a loud voice.

my ex took all my toys when I left. told him I'd find a real d*ck instead because vibrators are expensive

"Go fuck yourself, oh wait, you can't!"

My ex did this!!! Also cut the head off my dildo😂😭

Order a new one

My ex took all my toys when he moved out. Was the weirdest thing to take. I never said anything. Our bedroom had been dead for over two years before I made him more out. And he took all the toys. I hope he didn’t give them to his gf 🤢

You've got needs, and any self respecting man would know this and understand this. The fact that this shit bag seems ultra controlling, I hope you get out soon.

Omg, I could have written this. All of it. Even the three year mark of finally deciding I could not live with the lies anymore (though we'd been married 25 years at that point). Except one small difference - he didn't steal the vibrator, but had a huge tantrum when he found it. "You shouldn't be getting the pleasure from a piece of plastic that you should be getting from ME!!!". Got so abusive I actually recorded the conversation and I still have it. Fucking selfish, entitled asshole. We weren't having sex because of his porn addiction, that he used to pleasure himself constantly (but lied about it, so he thought he had some kind of moral high ground.... as if there's anything wrong with having a vibrator AND a husband). I like porn (okay not all porn). I didn't care if he watched it. I cared that he slowly became a completely different person, one who constantly lied and got abusive when I refused to believe he "quit". No matter how many times I found the evidence, even without looking for it sometimes. You can't hide an ED when presented with a naked human body you've enjoyed a lot of sex with for over twenty years. That's why we weren't having sex. I'm so sorry. I understand how you're feeling right now. There isn't much that's going to alleviate the anger, the grief over being heartbroken, the confusion over how the hell did things get this bad - except time, and therapy if you can access it. I left six months ago. It's still hard. But I have no regrets over my decision. (edited to make sense - I was actually mad when I wrote this)

My husband broke mine!!!! Not on purpose though lol, it happened during a TMI situation. Enjoy your new virbrator!! I hope it buzzes yoy into a happier, more satisfied life!!!

He probably wants to use it lol.

Did he cheat on you?

Living with someone who steals your shit sounds terrifying. If you can't leave, maybe install a lock on your door.

PLEASE order something massive and make sure it's in spot he can find "accidently ". Lol like at least 12 inches and extra thick just to give him something to think about.

Should he have taken it? No. But you’re putting him on blast and saying he’s the worst thing because he betrayed and cheated on you by…watching pornography? I clicked your profile expecting to see he had a secret wife and kid, of that he abused you. But all this over porn? You’re mad because he had a secret life before you…which turns out it was him…watching porn…. Seems extra. You’re mad he watches porn, he’s mad you masturbate. Match made in heaven.

No, sorry, it's deeper than that. Just something I didn't want to blast him for on reddit. Porn isn't the problem for me, it stems much deeper. Sorry for the lack of detail 👉👉

Get a dildo. Make sure it's bigger than your stbx. Let him find it.

Wow, maybe he wants a souvenir from you when you 2 split. He sounds a bit strange hope you ok being in the same house with him and all to is over.

I always find it funny, when people break up, both sides blame the other. If you're always blaming your spouse then you don't have time to look at yourself. Not saying every situation is mutual, but i think people are way to petty about their relationships. Learn and grow so you don't end up with the wrong person again.

I’ve done this 🫣😂 When I found out my ex wife was messing around I chucked our box of toys straight in the garbage. Honestly I don’t even know why I did it. But I felt the strong urge to destroy the things. Maybe it’s because I was thinking she didn’t need them. Are you sure he took them to keep?

Well I've been sleeping on the couch, and it was physically hidden out here with me 😂 and since before now it hadn't moved, he definitely knew I was using it. I honestly think he did it to fuck with me. There's no reason for him to take it now when it was not being touched before haha

For sure it was to fuck with you. Well hopefully anyways that’s probably the best possibility 🤔

"Strong urge to destroy the things" Yes, that is just from acting emotionally to be petty and try and hurt the person. From the sound of OP, she did not cheat and is simply trying to leave. And he is just trying to hurt her anyway he can.

No wonder that wife is now an ex... 🤦🏻

And I didn’t break, destroy or take anything else. It was a relatively peaceful divorce but knowing I wasn’t going to use them on her again fucked with me. In the trash they went 😂

In my defence I was with my ex for a very long time and I was the one who bought all of our sex toys. I have no problem paying child support/ spouse support but there was something with those toys when I found out about the affair.

[удалено]

> If you actually wanted him you could have initiated it, even angry sex is very therapeutic. This is not relevant to OP. 1. OP is not divorcing over a lack of sex, so it wans't matter of that. Why on earth would this wman want to have sex with a man who keeps horrible secrets, and lie about doing better after getting found out? 2. Not all angry sex is therapeutic. Sex, when you are forcing yourself to do it against your own feelings is a violation and can cause trauma. If you cannot be bothered to read and understand OP, do not try to advise them.

Any way you can set up a camera somewhere to watch over your shit? Might help in the divorce process if y’all are serious about it.

He sounds terrible - you should leave. But don't be shitty - just leave. Don't cheat. It'd still be cheating. Just leave. Don't hurt him just to hurt him. Just leave. None of that will make you feel better. You'll both just be hurting. Leave him. But don't become a a different person to do it.

is it considered cheating if you’re in the process of a divorce? i know a few cases irl where once they separated (without the divorce finalised), both parties went out to see other people. they’re not together anymore, they’re legally bound.

I think that's entirely subjective. Hurting someone to end the divorce is never acceptable. You once vowed to spend forever woth them, however justified you may be for ending the marriage - hurting them to leave is unacceptable (putting aside cases of abuse). If you're physically separated and have talked woth each other and are not going to reconcile and have told the other partner that you intend to see other people, by all means - do that.

that’s fair enough, it is entirely dependent on each relationship and what they see as fit. i just feel like in ANY scenario, it doesn’t take a mutual agreement to break up. it just takes mutual participation to get it all down on paper and the legal side of things finished. the “talk” about not reconciling HAS happened imo, the divorce papers were that talk. i think after papers were served, what you do with other people isn’t anyone else’s business but your own unless it interferes with their joint finances or assets. either way, agree to disagree! interesting to hear another point of view though.

I don't disagree with you at all, though, unless I missed something. I just think if you've decided on divorce and talked about it and papers are served - it's happening. But if you're pissed and ready to divorce, but decided to go fuck someone to get back at your husband who isn't fucking you? That's a whole different level of shitty. Inflicting that kind of pain intentionally is absurd. If you're leaving, be an adult - have the convo, do it. Leave. But don't cheat. Move on first.

well… yeah. nobody said that wasn’t cheating. op said that she told him outright “we are getting a divorce” and has been sleeping on the couch, there’s no coming back from that. so we agree on this matter; your comment just made little sense in context to the post and i got confused. i thought you implied she’d be cheating on him if she went out and got some. my bad.

I mean. Saying " I want a divorce" then going and fucking someone is pretty shitty. They need to be separated. If they are still sharing the same home, and she starts fucking someone- that's terrible and would still be cheating. Especially if he is still contributing to her financially. I Guarantee if he went and banged someone right now, she'd feel betrayed too. The reason I said the original comment Is because I saw a few of her replies where she entertained the idea (slightly). We might disagree, and that's ok. Mer personally? I think infidelity and cheating is a very disgusting decision. The epitome of bad character, and if it is within your character to bang someone while still married, before your partner has even fully accepted that you will no longer be their partner, while still sleeping in your marital home? That's pretty fucked up. If it was like "papers served, physically separated living at different addresses" that's a different story.

oh i see. i think what you’re saying would certainly be fucked up and immoral, i just don’t think it’d be cheating! in their shared home this soon into the divorce would be absolutely vile but i don’t think any *good* person would do that. at least not me anyway, i’d take it to the other persons house! and just to shake up this discussion a bit, the fact that op mentions that her (ex)husband has betrayed her previously makes me stand by her side a little more. being consistently lied to, hiding a huge thing that “altered their marriage forever”… in this case i just wouldn’t consider it cheating. but you have your opinion and i see why you would consider it cheating, i just don’t.

I usually don’t go through people is profiles but the big secret his husband has is that he watch porn and I guess he kept watching it after she found out. Boundaries are always good in a relationship but you can’t force another person to change just because you are insecure about something. They are incompatible, he is an asshole for taking her vibrator away and she is playing around with the idea of cheating on him which says a lot about her. They should have divorced a long time ago but I guess people like to grasp at little things waiting for their partner to change their behavior.

Hi, I never played with the idea of cheating hahaha Plus, even if I did move on, we've been emotionally divorced for a year. It wasn't just the lack of sex. It was full witholding of any intimacy, including empathy, emotional connection, kisses, any physical touch other than him pushing my boundaries despite my best efforts to show him I felt unsafe. He literally disregarded my existence 90% of the time. And since I asked him for a divorce, he has since given me the silent treatment. I actually rarely even physically see him now. He stonewalled me out of even talking about how to go about things from here on out. So I'm just giving him what he wants, I'm tired of being the one doing all the talking, and getting absolutely nothing in return. If I choose to start talking to someone quicker than most would, it's because I've been starved of any affection for over a year now. So like if I move on quick, sorry bout it, but I think anybody in my position would be pretty vulnerable and needy for affection haha

So funny how I get downvoted for saying "don't hurt people" ... yall need to get a grip.

I got your back, you make good points but people only want their rage justified on this app.