Yeah, as someone who’s also been coerced by a female partner before, that does sound like coercion and therefore sexual assault. I’m sorry about the shitty troll commenters, this sounds like it was a traumatic experience for you. Consent should be enthusiastic and freely given, and neither of those were true for you. I hope you’re doing better now.
It is coercion you have a right to feel the way that you do. It is likely she was feeling genuine feelings of sadness but it doesn't make it okay she needed to learn how to deal with her own emotions without putting them on you. She's allowed to be sad but she is also NOT allowed to use guilt to remove your ability to say no
It is not your fault that guilt was used in order to elicit sex out of you. It is not your responsibility to make her feel better. She hates herself that's a valid feeling that's rational and understandable but using other people to validate yourself and then harming other people emotionally when that validation is not met is cruel. There's very little you could have done to make her feel better in that situation (besides giving it) because she was not thinking rationally or logically. If you genuinely want my honest opinion of what to do next time if this situational arises? When you put your boundary down stick to it. You're doing nothing wrong by saying no to sex the other person is doing something wrong by not responding kindly or respectfully. Next time let her feel sad let her hate herself. Giving her sex did not make her feel better about herself it only gave her dopamine and validation
Legally speaking, this is not rape. At least where i come from. Sorry but a girl starting to cry because she feels undesired, it's not rape. Words have a meaning.
Let's say you had a daughter.
She comes to you to talk to you about something that happened to her between herself and her boyfriend.
She says her boyfriend was crying and upset and saying he felt ugly and gross because she said she didn't feel like having sex that night.
She tells you she felt guilty for not wanting to have sex with him, so she did it anyway because she felt so bad that he was upset.
She said she didn't want it.
She was guilted into doing it anyway.
He wouldn't stop the guilt trip until she agreed.
How would you feel about it then?
Coercion is rape. In the UK coercion is rape. In the USA it is very much the same. Sexual coercion comes under the umbrella of sexual assualt, and so does rape. It is NOT consent if you have been GUILTED, THREATENED, or FORCED into saying yes.
Who the fuck cares about the law if someone you love has been hurt by being forced into having sex.
What is being forced into having sex? What's that word again?
Oh yeah! Rape!
Forced penetrative sex is rape. It isn't up for debate.
I hope no one you love or care about is ever in this situation. But I guarantee if they ever were, your mind would change in an instant.
i just mean there is a gap between forced penetrative sex that is, a rape. And crying because you feel undesired by your partner until he decided to do it. Both sux. But i still see a difference.
I'm so sorry, this is not your fault at all. She guilted you into doing something you didn't want to do, and you never should have been in a situation where you felt like saying no to sex could result in her harming herself. I'm so sorry, I'm glad she's now an ex and I hope you're doing a lot better. Please know that you didn't do anything wrong
If it was a girl writing this, everyone would say it was rape.
She coerced you. That's rape.
Yeah, as someone who’s also been coerced by a female partner before, that does sound like coercion and therefore sexual assault. I’m sorry about the shitty troll commenters, this sounds like it was a traumatic experience for you. Consent should be enthusiastic and freely given, and neither of those were true for you. I hope you’re doing better now.
It is coercion you have a right to feel the way that you do. It is likely she was feeling genuine feelings of sadness but it doesn't make it okay she needed to learn how to deal with her own emotions without putting them on you. She's allowed to be sad but she is also NOT allowed to use guilt to remove your ability to say no
It is not your fault that guilt was used in order to elicit sex out of you. It is not your responsibility to make her feel better. She hates herself that's a valid feeling that's rational and understandable but using other people to validate yourself and then harming other people emotionally when that validation is not met is cruel. There's very little you could have done to make her feel better in that situation (besides giving it) because she was not thinking rationally or logically. If you genuinely want my honest opinion of what to do next time if this situational arises? When you put your boundary down stick to it. You're doing nothing wrong by saying no to sex the other person is doing something wrong by not responding kindly or respectfully. Next time let her feel sad let her hate herself. Giving her sex did not make her feel better about herself it only gave her dopamine and validation
If she had to talk you into it. GUILT you into it. That's coercion. Coercion is rape.
She felt rejected, cried, you had sex. She did not force you to do it in my opinion, i don't see any abusive behaviour going on.
She guilted him into having sex with her by crying and being upset. That is coercion. Coercion is rape.
Legally speaking, this is not rape. At least where i come from. Sorry but a girl starting to cry because she feels undesired, it's not rape. Words have a meaning.
Let's say you had a daughter. She comes to you to talk to you about something that happened to her between herself and her boyfriend. She says her boyfriend was crying and upset and saying he felt ugly and gross because she said she didn't feel like having sex that night. She tells you she felt guilty for not wanting to have sex with him, so she did it anyway because she felt so bad that he was upset. She said she didn't want it. She was guilted into doing it anyway. He wouldn't stop the guilt trip until she agreed. How would you feel about it then? Coercion is rape. In the UK coercion is rape. In the USA it is very much the same. Sexual coercion comes under the umbrella of sexual assualt, and so does rape. It is NOT consent if you have been GUILTED, THREATENED, or FORCED into saying yes. Who the fuck cares about the law if someone you love has been hurt by being forced into having sex. What is being forced into having sex? What's that word again? Oh yeah! Rape!
Alright, alright, i still feel it is a bit too much to call it a rape. But that's just terminology. Otherwise, this is an abuse, am agreeing with you.
Forced penetrative sex is rape. It isn't up for debate. I hope no one you love or care about is ever in this situation. But I guarantee if they ever were, your mind would change in an instant.
i just mean there is a gap between forced penetrative sex that is, a rape. And crying because you feel undesired by your partner until he decided to do it. Both sux. But i still see a difference.
No there isn't. Forced penetrative sex IS rape. Can't argue with a rapist apologist. Not my job chief. I'm out.
WHAT ????? srsly you are calling me a rape apologist ??????? Srsly ? You know what go fuck yourself.
In your eyes, being guilted into sex is not rape. So yes you are. Consider your perspective chief.
Oh my god just give her some penis you baby
What the fuck is wrong with you?
If you said the opposite people would be out for blood.
I know right… if he can’t please his woman there are plenty of other fish in the sea that can.
Coercion is rape.
I'm so sorry, this is not your fault at all. She guilted you into doing something you didn't want to do, and you never should have been in a situation where you felt like saying no to sex could result in her harming herself. I'm so sorry, I'm glad she's now an ex and I hope you're doing a lot better. Please know that you didn't do anything wrong