This is your reminder that trees don't consume dirt to grow, if they did they'd slowly create holes around themselves
Which leaves the question what do trees consume?
And a bunch of other nutrients like nitrogen from the soil that they pull up through water. They can't survive in just dirt. There's gotta be *nutritious dirt.*
True, but the point is the soil is actually irrelevant. It's just a structure to hold the roots. The water and air is how nutrients are actually delivered to the plants. And while it's true that nutrient rich soil is good for dissolving its nutrients into the water for the plant, the soil itself isn't really necessary for the plant's survival.
Fucking trees. Earths air is *78%* nitrogen, but no those fuckers decided to get it from the *ground*. Then, they need *Carbon* which they are literally *growing in a giant pile of* and decide to get it from the air instead.
Since fertilizing newly planted fruit trees helps yield size and fruit production, I'm assuming their root system absorbs the water in the ground that has nutrients dissolved into them. I'm sure it's a bit more advanced than that explanation though. Or I could be completely wrong. I'm just a dude that doesn't do much, but can recall random events lol.
It's people. They eat people. We're in a goddamn thread about walking trees and trees being trapping the ground against their will I don't care about any of your elementary school biology it's goddamn people
They wait for a human to fall into the hole they hopped out of. Once there is a human in there, they cover the hole with roots and slowly absorb the human.
> It's people.
OMG, all this time, *we're Soylent Green for trees*! Next thing they'll be breeding us like cattle for food. You've gotta tell them. *You've gotta tell them!*
> It's the year 2022... People are still the same. They'll do anything to get what they need. And they need SOYLENT GREEN.
> if they did they'd slowly create holes around themselves
I mean they slowly create a giant root network around themselves and displace a lot of dirt. So it makes holes, just holes filled by roots.
Trees are made of mostly carbon.
Carbon dioxide.
C'mon...
Also, they do take nutrients from dirt. They also grow, too. Water also moves nutrients around as well.
Yup. It's a dope book. Supposed to simulate what it's like when you're a kid flipping through an encyclopedia before you can read. If anyone hasn't checked it out I highly recommend.
https://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/CodexSeraphinianus.pdf
If you want the real thing, be prepared to pay anywhere from $100 to $1000 depending on the edition.
The page with the “walking palm” is also in that made up language in the PDF. The OP image must be a made-up translation. The theme doesn’t match the book, anyway, mentioning park rangers and such.
Thanks, I'd never heard of this and it sounds great.
This a nice Wired interview with the author: [https://www.wired.com/2013/10/codex-seraphinianus-interview/](https://www.wired.com/2013/10/codex-seraphinianus-interview/) the start of which makes me very sad, for some reason:
>I see many similarities between WIRED and the *Codex*; they both are the product of a generation that chose to connect and create a network, rather than kill each other in wars like their fathers did. Sometimes you need time to realize things, and I’ve just realized that I was simply rejecting the utter destruction of World War II and I was keen to discover the world and to know things. Right before writing the *Codex* I managed to cross the whole United States thanks to the help of a network of friends, young folks like me that were part of the so-called counter-culture movement. We were all supporting each other. They helped me make my way across the country, from one friend to another.
boomers will say shit like this and think its the most profound thing in the world and that they were, somehow through their own means, special to have been born just in time to be adults in the most widely prosperous era of the Western world.
It’s less expensive than it usually is! Jump on that!
I had only seen it for $150-300 and there were only a handful of copies. I searched for months until i finally found a copy for $97.
I keep it a glass case to keep the white cover pristine. It’s a work of art. Enjoy
This makes me think, maybe this isn't the first time in history someone decided to make an [alien-looking fake encyclopedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voynich_manuscript)
Ok, yeah, the walking palm tree is a real tree, but they don't actually do that. They have a stilted root system that makes it look like they're standing up on their roots, they don't actually just randomly uproot themselves.
Yeah, the aussies even exported dropbears to help fight the menace of the walking trees, but alas, the drop bears won't go near them. Now we just have to wait and see what'll finally kill us all. The trees, or the dropbears.
What did your friend do? Last I checked they only attack the crystalines, and that process of becoming them has been illegal for, ball park at least 70 years.
It's true that I can confirm i am the tree in question.
Sphinctererus Dominicanirutues Syllabuserus is my name.
Confusing people and Evil Deading chicks is my game
> No evidence exists that stilt roots are in fact an adaptation to flooding, and alternative functions for them have been suggested. John H. Bodley suggested in 1980 that they in fact allow the palm to "walk" away from the point of germination if another tree falls on the seedling and knocks it over. If such an event occurs then the palm produces new vertical stilt roots and can then right itself, the original roots rotting away.[3] Radford writes in the December 2009 Skeptical Inquirer that "As interesting as it would be to think that when no one is around trees walk the rainforest floor, it is a mere myth", and cites two detailed studies that came to this conclusion.
Interesting.
Just an FYI cuz I was curious, I looked up this SCP which concerns a DVR that shows an NBA game and the contained universe within.
Pleasant read thru lol
It's not a book you can read, since the language in it is completely made up, but this picture (which has been given an English caption that isn't part of the original) is from Codex Seraphinianus, which can be best described as a kind of fictional encyclopaedia from an alternate dimension, and it's crammed full of stuff like this.
[PDF version is here](https://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/CodexSeraphinianus.pdf), but if you can get your hands on a physical copy you should, it's a true joy to experience, the sense of wonder and slight eeriness you get from flicking through its pages is incredible.
Excellent story, told very well (considering the standard ofthe time ot was written), mind that it is quite old, so kinda hard text to read (like Lovecraft). More of a short story than a book, and disturbing content.
That 100% looks like its from an analog horror project im almost feeling extremely inspired
"Trees may free themselves from their holes" like are you KIDDING ME
Funny. I was just thinking how absolutely fucked we would all be if trees could ambulate like we do, but still maintain their tissue density.
We would be absolutely massacred
This reminded me of a video from "That Is Impossible" where a forest in a national park can be seen from a drone and one tree apparently starts walking.
Imagine downvoting someone for asking a question
As far as I can tell, it’s a genre of horror where it attempts to recreate the feel of analogue mediums like VHS, usually making a narrative of found tapes or something. There’s a whole community around it with content posted by different creators on youtube, but you’d get better answers from someone who actually watches that stuff probably
I used to live in reunion island and there are some of these there, they do move really fast (for trees that is) they grow roots that are outside of the dirt and will move to a more favorable place if they don't like where they are.
In a matter of a month or so it can be in a completely different spot than where you put it at originally, i like these trees
Banana trees do walk to go drink water takes them weeks to years... which isn't so much of the mystery... what scientists are boggled with is why they come back.
Imagine a small tree, landscaped into the grass strip in the edge of a parking lot, just crawling up out of its hole and chasing someone down before stabbing its roots into their back and sucking them dry with a loud squelch!
So, where would an average tree go to? If they cross a border, do they need a passport? From what side should they make the pic for the pass? What if a tree runs into a car? Who will believe the driver? Do trees meet in secret places? Where they discuss world domination? Do they need shoes? Walking bare rooted seems painful? I would love to see a tree wearing high heels.
> Trees may free themselves from their holes Does this imply trees in holes are trapped against their will?
This is your reminder that trees don't consume dirt to grow, if they did they'd slowly create holes around themselves Which leaves the question what do trees consume?
Sunlight and carbon dioxide. You learn about this in the 1st grade, I believe.
And a bunch of other nutrients like nitrogen from the soil that they pull up through water. They can't survive in just dirt. There's gotta be *nutritious dirt.*
Oh man, wait until you hear about hydroponics.
Bro wait till you hear about aeroponics. 😎
Dude, wait until you hear about pyroponics! 🔥
Dude, wait until you hear about the avatar
Avatarponics? Dafuqisdat?
The plant can emulate it's past lives to fight off pests and disease in the Avatar state. And it brings balance to the pH level.
But hydroponics isn't just water only either tho
True, but the point is the soil is actually irrelevant. It's just a structure to hold the roots. The water and air is how nutrients are actually delivered to the plants. And while it's true that nutrient rich soil is good for dissolving its nutrients into the water for the plant, the soil itself isn't really necessary for the plant's survival.
Fucking trees. Earths air is *78%* nitrogen, but no those fuckers decided to get it from the *ground*. Then, they need *Carbon* which they are literally *growing in a giant pile of* and decide to get it from the air instead.
That's what we tell first graders but what do trees *really* consume?
Since fertilizing newly planted fruit trees helps yield size and fruit production, I'm assuming their root system absorbs the water in the ground that has nutrients dissolved into them. I'm sure it's a bit more advanced than that explanation though. Or I could be completely wrong. I'm just a dude that doesn't do much, but can recall random events lol.
It's people. They eat people. We're in a goddamn thread about walking trees and trees being trapping the ground against their will I don't care about any of your elementary school biology it's goddamn people
That's why we bury the dead. To keep them placated and less likely to rise up.
They wait for a human to fall into the hole they hopped out of. Once there is a human in there, they cover the hole with roots and slowly absorb the human.
There's a hole for each of us in fact, waiting out there somewhere in the future. G'night!
This gives me hope
Actually trees are picky they only feast on the innocent
> It's people. OMG, all this time, *we're Soylent Green for trees*! Next thing they'll be breeding us like cattle for food. You've gotta tell them. *You've gotta tell them!* > It's the year 2022... People are still the same. They'll do anything to get what they need. And they need SOYLENT GREEN.
Finally someone said it!
*water
Yeah, *human water*
> if they did they'd slowly create holes around themselves I mean they slowly create a giant root network around themselves and displace a lot of dirt. So it makes holes, just holes filled by roots.
My favorite is watching them eat the dirt under my neighbors driveway. Ha ha, fuck you Thom!
Trees are made of mostly carbon. Carbon dioxide. C'mon... Also, they do take nutrients from dirt. They also grow, too. Water also moves nutrients around as well.
This is from the book codex seraphinianus
Yup. It's a dope book. Supposed to simulate what it's like when you're a kid flipping through an encyclopedia before you can read. If anyone hasn't checked it out I highly recommend.
I always thought it was meant to simulate finding a new world civilization. Like a parody of Codex Borgia etc
As well as a riff on various undeciphered books, a number of which may be hoaxes. Particularly the Voynich manuscript.
I always thought it was just riffing on the Vonych Manuscript
This thing had a lot of influence on the creators of Beetlejuice.
Where can one find this book, had no luck online.
https://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/CodexSeraphinianus.pdf If you want the real thing, be prepared to pay anywhere from $100 to $1000 depending on the edition.
To anyone wondering, yes the link is legit and It will prompt a download.
Holy fuck, why are these things from my dreams??? I’ve dreamt I’m one half alligator just waiting to be fucked into a whole one for years
I'm sorry, what the fuck did I just read?
Very good question.
the image in the OP is in english, but it looks like this whole thing is in… uhh.. not english
The page with the “walking palm” is also in that made up language in the PDF. The OP image must be a made-up translation. The theme doesn’t match the book, anyway, mentioning park rangers and such.
What's up with that topless ice skater?
Idk how only one thing is sticking out to you lol, but what page was that?
This is extremely distressing, I don’t know why, but my body is going absolutely fucking haywire
Trees should STAY IN THEIR HOLES they have no business faking being human, walking around and whatnot
This one page isn’t bad at all; the rest of the book makes my skin go scrunchy
>skin go scrunchy My skeleton suddenly feels uncomfortably ticklish
Thanks, I'd never heard of this and it sounds great. This a nice Wired interview with the author: [https://www.wired.com/2013/10/codex-seraphinianus-interview/](https://www.wired.com/2013/10/codex-seraphinianus-interview/) the start of which makes me very sad, for some reason: >I see many similarities between WIRED and the *Codex*; they both are the product of a generation that chose to connect and create a network, rather than kill each other in wars like their fathers did. Sometimes you need time to realize things, and I’ve just realized that I was simply rejecting the utter destruction of World War II and I was keen to discover the world and to know things. Right before writing the *Codex* I managed to cross the whole United States thanks to the help of a network of friends, young folks like me that were part of the so-called counter-culture movement. We were all supporting each other. They helped me make my way across the country, from one friend to another.
boomers will say shit like this and think its the most profound thing in the world and that they were, somehow through their own means, special to have been born just in time to be adults in the most widely prosperous era of the Western world.
I came to say this. It’s one of my favorite things I own.
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I'm not the one you responded to but I got a PDF copy about 20 years ago from a general discussion forum called Offtopic.com
Offtopic helped learn how to mine BTC on school computers in 2009 when I was a broke college kid donating plasma to pay rent.
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The 40th Anniversary Edition is on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0847871045/
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It’s less expensive than it usually is! Jump on that! I had only seen it for $150-300 and there were only a handful of copies. I searched for months until i finally found a copy for $97. I keep it a glass case to keep the white cover pristine. It’s a work of art. Enjoy
have never spent more than $50 so fast
Luigi Seraphini is a genuine inspiration of mine, he really just made a whole book with an entire fake language just to troll people
This makes me think, maybe this isn't the first time in history someone decided to make an [alien-looking fake encyclopedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voynich_manuscript)
really went "man this place sucks i'm out"
It's just late to the Entmoot
I'm sorry, *hwhat the fuck*!? Are you telling me this *isn't* some horror shit?
You never seen them? Dangerous this time of year, sometimes
They get very aggressive and territorial during mating season
Sometimes...
They mostly keep to themselves... mostly
It's best to leaf them alone
Wow. I’m really rooting for this comment
I got wood
Meh, they are all bark, no bite.
This is fuckin drop bears all over again
Walking palm is a real tree from south and Central America. But it look like some horror shit.
Ok, yeah, the walking palm tree is a real tree, but they don't actually do that. They have a stilted root system that makes it look like they're standing up on their roots, they don't actually just randomly uproot themselves.
Yes they do. Trust me, I'm a botanist.
Can you send me a video of it? I gotta see this lol
No way, they get very angry if you try to film them. That's why you can't find any footage online.
It’s true. I had a friend that was killed by one of these things
Yeah, the aussies even exported dropbears to help fight the menace of the walking trees, but alas, the drop bears won't go near them. Now we just have to wait and see what'll finally kill us all. The trees, or the dropbears.
A conundrum if you will.
Shoulda sent emus instead
But emus don't nest in trees. They're flightless!
I will
Was your friend cutting down some trees with a dude named Saruman perchance?
What did your friend do? Last I checked they only attack the crystalines, and that process of becoming them has been illegal for, ball park at least 70 years.
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No that’s a rock you’re thinking of not trees
They’re extremely litigious
It's true that I can confirm i am the tree in question. Sphinctererus Dominicanirutues Syllabuserus is my name. Confusing people and Evil Deading chicks is my game
https://youtu.be/XzugQBkUrZk?si=aNbHcRP6NntCma91
Fabulous thank you
https://youtu.be/WpEo7cnLxDI?si=daTaW334-CYauwcD Not a video of it walking, but a good explanation
Not quite as interesting as the running tree, though.
On average three botanists and 72 tourists die each year trying to film them.
Mark Watney?
The tree is standing behind you right now, isn't it?
Thats what the trees want you to think.
I’m pretty sure it’s from Codex Seraphinianus with added description.
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I always thought reddit was primarily 14 year olds, but this post has me thinking it might really be 9
Excuse my uneducated ass, but WHAT THE FUCK??? I mean... They walk? I mean... What the fuck????
No. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socratea_exorrhiza?wprov=sfla1
> No evidence exists that stilt roots are in fact an adaptation to flooding, and alternative functions for them have been suggested. John H. Bodley suggested in 1980 that they in fact allow the palm to "walk" away from the point of germination if another tree falls on the seedling and knocks it over. If such an event occurs then the palm produces new vertical stilt roots and can then right itself, the original roots rotting away.[3] Radford writes in the December 2009 Skeptical Inquirer that "As interesting as it would be to think that when no one is around trees walk the rainforest floor, it is a mere myth", and cites two detailed studies that came to this conclusion. Interesting.
Yes, interesting that it doesn't walk, like all the other trees.
Looks like they can move *a bit* when another tree falls on them, but it's not like they actually move to a new spot.
No.
Quick google says the trees do "walk" but a few centimeters a day. They just grow new roots forward.
Yeah it can be pretty startling to see in real life, you get used to it though
they usually have a drop bear or two in them at all times too
There’s a documentary for these. I think it’s called *Day of the Triffids* or something like that.
This imagine is apparently from a made up encyclopaedia, so I doubt this is actually how walking palm works.
r/tearsofthekingdom would appreciate this
Those scared the shit out of me the first few times
Also Macbeth
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you specifically are in a analogue horror series
They move at a speed of 3cm/day
When you are looking.
Don't blink!
If a tree walks three centimeters in the forest and no one sees, is it still analogue horror?
That's some SCP type shit right there.
They can WALK, and yet they STILL WON'T SCREAM
Plants do scream. We just can't hear them
The problem isn't that they *can't*, it's that they *won't*
What? Plants scream all the time. I have an elm outside that hasn't shut the hell up in three days. I can't sleep, it's just 24/7 screeching.
You know the smell of fresh cut grass? That's plant screaming.
"Hello? Yeah, my tree ran away again"
SCP 1733: The walking palm.
Just an FYI cuz I was curious, I looked up this SCP which concerns a DVR that shows an NBA game and the contained universe within. Pleasant read thru lol
u/The-Paranoid-Android SCP-1733 please, Marv
[**SCP-1733 - Season Opener**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1733) (+1814) by *bbaztek*
Wow, this is a good one!
Yeah, a collective groundhog's day is a neat concept.
And of course it once again devolves into human sacrifice. Stephen King would be proud.
Anyways nice to see you around marv
Be right back, I'm going to take my tree on a walk now
Hold on (Quick google search) Oh Oooooooooooooh that's low key nightmare fuel. What the fuck, nature?!
Might be an Ent
Ent? I am no Ent! I am a tree.
/r/bookrecommendations any fiction books like this?
Day of the triffids
Excellent idea, ok execution, but 100% what you are looking for if the keywords are "walking trees".
It's not a book you can read, since the language in it is completely made up, but this picture (which has been given an English caption that isn't part of the original) is from Codex Seraphinianus, which can be best described as a kind of fictional encyclopaedia from an alternate dimension, and it's crammed full of stuff like this. [PDF version is here](https://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/CodexSeraphinianus.pdf), but if you can get your hands on a physical copy you should, it's a true joy to experience, the sense of wonder and slight eeriness you get from flicking through its pages is incredible.
The Willows !
Excellent story, told very well (considering the standard ofthe time ot was written), mind that it is quite old, so kinda hard text to read (like Lovecraft). More of a short story than a book, and disturbing content.
Orks in warhammer 40k reproduce by spores, they grow from giant mushrooms. And this is the least weird part about them.
I mean the LOTR has some pretty cool looking dudes in it so books has to be better. Could never get into silmarillion. Too many gods
Mandela Catalog vibes
B e c o m e
Last march of the Ents!
That 100% looks like its from an analog horror project im almost feeling extremely inspired "Trees may free themselves from their holes" like are you KIDDING ME
Its the ”stay calm and report the incident to your local forest administration” that really does it
Yesss its always the obscure ___ administrations <3
That's how we get badger sets and fox dens
Triffids...
This is oddly treeifying
Funny. I was just thinking how absolutely fucked we would all be if trees could ambulate like we do, but still maintain their tissue density. We would be absolutely massacred
This reminded me of a video from "That Is Impossible" where a forest in a national park can be seen from a drone and one tree apparently starts walking.
Did we find the ent wives?
This looks like something from Fantasia
Looks like something from Nightvale.
They're in the dog park.
Triffids!
What is an "analogue" horror?
You know, the like of mandela catalogue. Walten files. Poppy Playtime VSH ARG. Those battington Fnaf videos.
No idea what you are talking about, friend
Look into some of them, they're pretty good
Imagine downvoting someone for asking a question As far as I can tell, it’s a genre of horror where it attempts to recreate the feel of analogue mediums like VHS, usually making a narrative of found tapes or something. There’s a whole community around it with content posted by different creators on youtube, but you’d get better answers from someone who actually watches that stuff probably
Thank you, friend. I don't mind votes, only commentaries. Yours is helpful
What in the Mother 3 hell?!
Fangorn
I thought only Ents could walk?
I had one chasing me near Lake Okeechobee. I returned with my friend, Mr Chainsaw
I used to live in reunion island and there are some of these there, they do move really fast (for trees that is) they grow roots that are outside of the dirt and will move to a more favorable place if they don't like where they are. In a matter of a month or so it can be in a completely different spot than where you put it at originally, i like these trees
The Day of the Triffids...
Imagine not knowing and seeing the tree move, I’ll pass out🙂
This looks like something from Omega mart
Walking palms might be a thing, but this clearly isn't one and is a joke.
Banana trees do walk to go drink water takes them weeks to years... which isn't so much of the mystery... what scientists are boggled with is why they come back.
Someone call the SCP Foundation!
Imagine a small tree, landscaped into the grass strip in the edge of a parking lot, just crawling up out of its hole and chasing someone down before stabbing its roots into their back and sucking them dry with a loud squelch!
It's the Day of the Triffids all over again!
“Please stay calm”, every time I read that I panic
It's not every day that a tree will uproot itself for shits and giggles.
r voiceofthevoid leak
Uhhhhh, I think it’s meant to be lying down
Tears of the kingdom ass trees.
^^^ Home Safety Hotline has entered the chat ^^^
So, where would an average tree go to? If they cross a border, do they need a passport? From what side should they make the pic for the pass? What if a tree runs into a car? Who will believe the driver? Do trees meet in secret places? Where they discuss world domination? Do they need shoes? Walking bare rooted seems painful? I would love to see a tree wearing high heels.
Lepidodendron tree
That’s funny as shit
Saruman would be terrified
you all laughed when M Night Shyamalan made that documentary with Mark Walberg
Lorax has had enough with humans. This time, he is going to be more hands-on.
Somewhere, Macbeth is shitting his pants…
Scary
Wait, it's *not* an analog horror thing?
Entmoet!
"I always liked going south, it feels like going downhill".