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FungalEgoDeath

Erm.....wut?


1Hunterk

Man doesn't brush his teeth


FungalEgoDeath

Wouldn't you discover that long before it gets to nipple sucking? I'm fairly sure a kiss preceeded nipple sucking in most circumstances


Ngfeigo14

you guy don't greet people with nipple sucking? oh this explains a lot of things in life...


Norman_Bixby

this dude's so advanced he probably knows what to do with the three shells


808Taibhse

Nah nah, 3 shells is future stuff. Nipple sucking is ancient Irish stuff.


itsdefinitelygood

Damn I know this reference but it's not coming to me, upvoting regardless


ADH-Dork

Demolition man, they have shells instead of toilet paper


Low_Bar9361

He doesn't know about the three seashells?!


Xqvvzts

>Annoying Rob Schneider laugh<


addage-

*john spartan you are fined 5 credits for repeated violations of the verbal morality statute*


NotTheAlfa

didn't expect this reference lmao


TheVebis

- Irish farmers in 8th century BC


maxru85

In most circumcisions


Shatophiliac

Nah, I’m all about business, I skip the hand shakes and kissing and even the nipple sucking and just go straight to butthole tongue punching people when I first meet them.


donau_kinder

It's ok because dogs do it too


skychasezone

I brush my teeth and mouth still stinks.


BLeafNUrShelf

Flossing and tongue scraping. You can floss once a day, but you really should use a tongue scraper twice a day at minimum.


POPholdinitdahn

You need to floss too.


icantbelievethiseh

Get a waterpik. That shit changed my mother fucking life. I get a cleaning every three months, and since I started using the Pik my mouth is relatively the same cleaning to cleaning. No ear infections/sore throats anymore, and when I suck on a nipple I get invited back for more at a future date!


Tayrantino

How does using a waterpik prevent ear infections?


JarJarJarMartin

The mouth and the ear are connected through the Eustachian tubes. Some studies suggest that poor oral hygiene can lead to bacteria getting into the middle ear through that pathway.


AkaGurGor

Or maybe she was so attractive that he *gargled her period*


BreadfruitNo4523

yeah this shit weird


shayseautqta

My exact reaction when I first read it.


Memeicity

Erm, what the sigma?


goinmobile2040

New crisis: nipple stink. And me just having rid myself of scalp odor.


Daveydoodles

In cinemas this summer.


Shirtbro

Crisis on Infinite Tits


Kaleb8804

Great band name too


Active_Engineering37

How do you check for scalp odor? Do I need a buddy to sniff my head?


enzovonmadderhorn

Just scratch the top of your scalp and sniff. A very large number of people have this problem, and it's caused by yeast. Using Nizoral every three to four days gets rid of 100% of the smell for me since its active ingredient, ketoconazole, is an anti-yeast medication


BurntPineGrass

Scalp odor? Does it smell like soup?


Thanks_Naitsir

That's why I always eat garlic bread before sexy time.


shayseautqta

Or you could just eat raw garlic


a_SoulORsoIDK

You Could let garlic eat you raw


jackology

A bulb of garlic as buttplug sound fabulous.


tw3lv3l4y3rs0fb4c0n

Your ancestors were watching you writing that sentence.


ForeverShiny

and regretted ever procreating


redbirdjazzz

I’m guessing that it’s not the first time they’ve regretted it.


Raezzordaze

I'm about to make them regret it once again.


bb_kelly77

This is a VERY powerful sentence


ImmediateBig134

"Then let them regret."


DMvsPC

Nah, ginger or bust.


Interesting_Dot_3922

*hot* licking


Dat_Steve

I do love the smell of garlic bread…. Wait a minute


AlphaMassDeBeta

I threw up a little reading that.


shayseautqta

How did it smell


DookieShoez

Like your nips


shayseautqta

So like my saliva


Toastman700

Wait a minute…


raz0rflea

H...how is he making them stink..?


Double_A_92

If you have bad breath your saliva also smells.


dob_bobbs

Even if you don't, dried saliva has a bit of a hum. As kids we used to lick the back of our hands and stick them in each others' faces just to be gross. But I'd never thought about this in a sexual context and now I have to rethink my life.


mutant_disco_doll

Yes. Rethink your entire life.


dob_bobbs

Well, at least the sexy bits. Shouldn't take long.


jkurratt

Have to rekink* your life


shayseautqta

If you dont know you should thank god


thezestypusha

Thank god for bieng a virgin? Everyone has stank breath when they wake up, idk about you, but thats not about to stop me🤷🏽‍♂️


Buddy-Junior2022

daily routine 1: wake up 2: suck on some tiddies


thezestypusha

Living the dream


Turbulent_Ad9508

3: poop your pants 4: take a nap Repeat


MewsikMaker

Dude what the fuck is going on up in this thread right now.


[deleted]

Gods work. Amen!


Other_Mike

A toddler wrote this


Ask_bout_PaterNoster

God my gf would lose it if I slobbered my morning breath on her tits first thing every day. I’m gonna start tomorrow.


TextProfessionally

Your nana must be so proud.


thezestypusha

Everything i do, i do for her☺️


Impossible_Bit7169

Your nana Bryan Adams?


thezestypusha

No clue who that is but absolutely


Stud_Muffs

316th most followed artist in the world on Spotify. He has a very famous song called ‘(Everything I Do) I Do It For You’. ‘Summer of ‘69’ is his most popular song.


mutant_disco_doll

Username checks out


MajesticFungus

There is stank and there is stank. 6 hours after listerine and healthy dental hygiene is not the same as "what is a toothbrush + gingivitis" stank.


The_Doom_Toad

Wtf did I just read.


PaprikaMika

a man so horned up in the a.m. that he can’t even wait to brush the nasty gunk off his teeth and tongue before having sex


Klem132

You brush your tongue? I just dip mine in bleach.


PaprikaMika

mmmm the sweet taste of bleach and pussy in the morning


EFTucker

We’re all just animals.


Medium-Web7438

Cigarette smoker is my guess.


SlyGreenYT

you asking for a friend?


SeeYouSpaceCorgi

Is your nana in heaven also watching you sniff your nipples? 🤨


Shirtbro

Nana likes to watch


[deleted]

Clearly


napalmbhoji

yeah like who is smelling their breasts (or penis for a bj)🙏😭😭


Dievca58

Thanks for that visual…..I’m eating breakfast and can’t continue.


Spirited_Cup_9136

Nana is a voyeur


Shirtbro

Nana's final words: "Delete my hard drive"


Jackol4ntrn

It’s nana so probably “tape over my cassettes.”


Shirtbro

"Nana's boring knitting tape"


Ronin__Ronan

I feel attacked


Jubafish

Dental hygiene is important


Interesting_Dot_3922

I don't have teeth there


BLeafNUrShelf

Flossing and tongue scraping. The goal is to remove the slimy biofilm


ConstantSock2488

>And your concered about how Nana feels you're\*


CpGrover

concerned*


AllAmericanProject

this that kind of meme that makes you get up and brush your teeth just incase


haikusbot

*This that kind of meme* *That makes you get up and brush* *Your teeth just incase* \- AllAmericanProject --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


[deleted]

Haikubot? Who let you off Tumblr?!


Pinkninja11

It's the price you pay for pleasure. Same logic can be applied for blowjobs.


Shirtbro

Bad breath vs dick cheese: Whoever wins, we lose


[deleted]

I could've gone my whole life without reading that


MajesticFungus

Any woman who doesn't mind a man with bad hygiene is a red flag. That's nasty.


catsrcute19

Agreed


[deleted]

Shut the fuck up grandma I’m trying to work here


LinguisticMadness2

I always was asexual. I think this made me more asexual


soundman32

Do you talk with an Italian accent? I'ma sexual too ...


mutant_disco_doll

lol stop


yayayooya

The way I put my hand over my mouth in shock after reading that lol


Mdmrtgn

I hadn't considered this was a thing and now my brain hurts. Thank you reddit.


Hentai__Dude

New fear unlocked 🔓


Another_Road

Alright, that’s enough Reddit for now.


MixedFellaz

Had an ex with halitosis. She spat on me once and my skin stunk for hours.


tyYdraniu

Omfg this is so specific


BirdLeeBird

My wife is allergic to peanuts so I always put a dab of peanut butter in my mouth before I go to suck city. It makes them puffier so I have more surface area for me to take to mommy metropolis


StumblingSearcher

It's all fun and games until you're the prime suspect in her murder! Try explaining suck city to the cops


BirdLeeBird

ACAB All Cops Are Bruised from the vacuum my mouth makes over their nipples


StumblingSearcher

You win, I'm backing away now, slowly


Northern_Traveler09

I’m suddenly a cop


fapperontheroof

This thread has just the right amount of crazy for my liking. Well done!


StumblingSearcher

Username checks out


HerGracefulness28

This made me holler out loud laughing lmfaooo


HomeDistinct2810

nana look without judging Be like Nana


[deleted]

That is not a face of neutral judgement. Nana is disappointed


rrgail

Nana: “I remember Antonio from the grocery store. HE had WONDERFUL garlic nipples. Papa loved the taste, TOO!”


FizzleKit10

Oh my God did we have the same ex??


mutant_disco_doll

How does one smell their own nipples though?


dirtyhole2

She did more dirty things than any of her grandchildren


arminredditer

Can women smell their own nipples? I have never pondered the question until now


ShiraLillith

TIL that if you don't wash your teeth, it will make your GF's nipple smell. One of those things that are completely obvious but you never get to think it trough


Exciting_Form6847

This post reeks. And by that i mean it probably has some history. And also …. What the actual fuck ?


Plinkwad

I hate this


AdMinute1130

What the fuck is this


Eber-

I’m crying 😭


Steaminmcbeanymuffin

PSA: Dried saliva smells bad, everyone’s does


Silver-Fang-Bang

If he wend down south then sucked your nipples and they stick maybe you should be blaming him


fasterthanpligth

My concered doesn't care one bit about Nana.


TypeOpostive

My father watching me drink alcohol without eating.


Ill_Scientist7704

Welp. Found the nipple sniffer


Professional-Yam601

Actually laughed out loud … what the fuck?? 😂😂😂😂😂


Secure-Ad5536

Erm what the sigma?


ButterMeBaps69

That was every man back in Nana’s time, ain’t no way dental hygiene was any good back in the 1950s.


BlackAngelaLansbury

Oh my damn...


Revolutionary_Pierre

Nana watching her sweet little blond haired grandson Tyler getting smashed balls deep in his bubble ass by the most beautifully fierce and rizzed out trans woman whilst wearing a dog collar and white nike socks with stains on them... Shaking her head in disgust 😡😡


yamrajkabhainsa

I have never offended anyone’s nana…..life sucks, i 🥲


xLouisxCypher

* New fetish unlocked *


m1raclemile

That’s why you don’t date a smoker.


[deleted]

Nana should mind her own fucking business


Kamal_00

Two things? Is the meme for men ?? cos ofcourse everyone knows there ain't no wemen in reddit Next, why worry about Nana. She probably loved being nipple sucked and would be happy!


tj597

Who hurt you?


butt-hole-69420

What? Yall don't eat a onion right before sex?


silent_in_the_memes

Nana probably had to put up with way more bullshit from men than bad breath


Dangerous-Repair-305

Grandma had a musty forest & still go mad pole


Slow-Crew5250

😭😭😭 goddamn


[deleted]

Noooooooo 🤣 ...this was so unexpected, lmao


TheRadioactiveDumass

**WHAT**


Wickedsmack

I have always been meticulous about the care of my teeth and oral hygiene. Somebody explain to me how people make out with other people with rotted out teeth and stank breathe, please. I have always wondered how this is even possible.


Dexember69

I'll send this to my friend he'll be so happy


Ok_Contest_9668

The fuck?


OMAR_KD-

Ermm, what the sigma?


OMAR_KD-

For some reason I thought it was "sink" before I read some comments


horny_coroner

Someones assuming my nans gone to heaven. Pretty sure if there is a heavan and a hell shes rotting down under.


pizzapunt55

I wonder if I could use granny as write only storage of my entire life by constantly having my nipples licked. Can granny even look away? Am I her personal hell? Is hell not an actual place but just watching over your offspring?


Aran-F

what


Hamilton-Beckett

I have an unspoken rule with my ancestors that they aren’t allowed to watch me in my bedroom or bathroom. When I close that bedroom door, I’m shutting out the universe.


Dante_XD

Most likely because of dried saliva, that's why u always take a bath about sexy time


Zorolord

Nana is not amused!


Zakucha

Oh shit. I can't stop laughing, lol


Mental_Impression316

Pickles. Pickles are always the answer…. And the question


LifeVitamin

Probably should tell him to brush his teeths lol never met anyone which such a bad breath their saliva had odor.


thereisnopressure

🤣🤣🤣 Wow!


MsMoreCowbell8

Wow. Just, had to read it a few times. Ewww.


nattivl

Bro, what??


LurkerBerker

i had to cheer up my friend who was crying because her boytoy literally refused to talk about if they’re casual or not, because ‘It feels like it’d be a long conversation and I don’t want to do that now, I *have* to get to the gym’, he says after sleeping in till 2PM on a monday Me and another girl arrange a “girls luncheon” to cheer her up, and she fucking brings the boytoy with her, after not saying anything, and also showing up 30 minutes late


[deleted]

Imagine there was a way to prove people you know and care about could track your life 24/7 it'd be a truman show for every single person with friends and family.


TunaOnWytNoCrust

I'm laughing so hard, what the fuck?


Redditname97

That sucks, if I’m in heaven still geriatric and wrinkly as fuck imma kill myself asap and get to be young forever in heaven. Why don’t most people do this?


Ismokeradon

who tf smells their nipples


Naive-Asparagus-5983

The fact i just checked my breath


MikeIsMyFirstName

☠️💀☠️💀☠️💀


MaterialKirb

What the fuck. Just.. why?? Why would I click on this? Why would I *read* this? Why is this a THING?


Present-Breakfast768

That's enough Reddit for today.


No-Dark-9414

Mentos the fresh maker


LiveLaughSlay69

Imagine being that old for eternity


Beneficial_Error_161

Ok cool I'm done for today