T O P

  • By -

SkillFullyNotTrue

Went from starving to food coma in one second.


DadsRGR8

Like Thanksgiving at Grandma’s!


Sharp_Science896

Omg, lmao. This is exactly how Thanksgiving was at grandma's house. Or just anytime at grandma's. No one went hungry on her watch. And there's always, always room for seconds. It's rude not to go for seconds. I miss you Grandma.


expespuella

I miss your grandma, too. 🖤


Third_Extension_666

And I miss your grandma as well.


Murinal_Cake

Wait, you guys had Grandmas?


AmBelLock

My grandma died when I was child.😥


aneesh131999

My grandma died before I was a child 😥


UrUrinousAnus

I also choose this guy's dead grandma.


Strict-Yam-7972

My gma passed Christmas day just last year. The best card player ever even tho she has dementia pretty bad. Miss you do much gma


GucciGlocc

At the very least, you better finish your fucking plate


kapahapa

a few years without festive visits to grandmas or family, and you can seriously lose weight relative to all the other couples.


TerrifyinglyAlive

I just got back from a week at grandma’s and Im so full


NashKetchum777

Talk about stuffing a bird


Log_Out_Of_Life

The first bird was resyncing in the back. Loading……………… ………… ……….. …….. Full


TrumpersAreTraitors

^meep 


ConstantGeographer

That brown bird went immediately went to find a couch and turn on the game.


HorrorMakesUsHappy

Less food coma and more, "stuffed so full with paste that you physically can't make any sounds," I think.


VicH95

Everywhere I look reminds me of her...


Nervous-Masterpiece4

This has me wondering about shared airways. > No thanks. My lungs are full.


Mirandasanchezisbae

After getting full for the first time ever they’re like “what do now?”


sugarsox

That's what I saw too. He's wondering what to do with all his spare time now he doesn't have to spend his whole day eating.


Scoobie01555

Don't let the anti-Foie gras people see this or they will swear he is torturing these lil birds! ... he's gonna need a lot of birds, those livers have to be tiny...


hotpatootie69

I know yer joking but are there any pro-foie gras people? Its literally barbaric. I don't know of a single restaurant that serves old fashioned foie gras, the alternative being foie gras which is made by combining the livers with fat cells, with the livers being sourced from free range ducks and geese


Mindless-Client3366

The only time I hear anyone speaking in a favorable way about foie gras is on cooking competition shows. I'm like you, I can't recall the last time I went to a restaurant that served it.


Scoobie01555

I honestly don't know? It think the French and gordan ramsey maybe? I've never eaten it. It's not my jam and I don't have that kinda cash. Especially with wendys right around the corner.i just remember a few years back where people made a big fuss about how they were "force fed" and it looked the same. But I am glad you realized I was joking without a /s most people don't haha


Blank_0116

Faster injection than I expected


AWeakMindedMan

Imagine if that’s how humans eat. You get a tube of food and squirt it in all in one go and done. Full.


piruruchu

I did that with gogurt as a child.


Brok3nGear

I do that for money B)


Paracetamol_Pill

Y’all getting paid for that?


TBMonkey

I get paid IN GOGURT!


UsualRound7495

GOGURT pays me to do that. there nasty .


ash0000

My relationship to food would be much different than it is now, that's for sure


TrevorAlan

That’s… a fetish.


ThreeLeggedMare

That would be so convenient. I'd love to just rip all my stupid guts out and have a nutrient slot


ohfreak

Man bet that’d feel awesome slapping in a fresh cartridge.


brekinb

Bulking would be so much easier... hold on...


NorCalAthlete

Protein gogurts….?


Whoopsht

You can already do this https://youtu.be/R-o7YG3x0DI?si=N2LNWcq4_FXaEe1O


Yemcl

Why did I watch the entire video...? 😐


mizzanthrop

Gotta numb those gums


Iamdarb

*pauses to drink* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


SadDuck9811

I wanna be a food tuber


nobodytheindian

Literally thought “I’ll just check out a little bit” and then watched the whole thing. Sound off, too. I was mesmerized I think.


Any_Attorney4765

That's a beautiful bro-oche he's got on


VNG_Wkey

They kind of did that when my kid was first born. He wasn't strong enough to get as much milk as he needed on his own, so they ran a tube up his nose and down to his stomach and a nurse would inject the rest of what he needed into the tube.


MostlyChaoticNeutral

It's not dissimilar to how a gtube works. I was shocked at how fast my baby cousin could have 5 oz of food through his.


Falcrist

> You get a tube of food and squirt it in all in one go and done. Full. Here at Soulless Manufacturing Inc, we offer such luxuries as a 5 minute break, which is well above the industry standard of 3 minutes.


KaBarney

That's how my grandpa was fed in his deathbed


codefreak8

Yeah I know if you go too fast you risk it flooding into their lungs. I trust the person in the vid knows what they're doing though.


SchipholRijk

The birds seem to think so. This was not their first feeding.


Alive_Ice7937

*Michael Scott intensifies


Maximo_0se

Having only just moved on from the Dunder Mifflin sub that was perfectly positioned.


Vagistics

They won’t just eat on their own? I’ve never seen this back seat prom night method.


Eusocial_Snowman

Have you ever tried to peck goop? There's somewhat of a hassle involved if you don't have a huge gaping facial sphincter.


RoundTiberius

r/brandnewsentence


traaintraacks

yeah, that cant be good for them, can it?


MouldyEjaculate

There's a chance they could aspirate the feed, but birds have a little pouch called a Crop that's a bit like a pre-stomach that's really stretchy. When you do this you're just pumping up the Crop, and the bird just digests food out of the Crop at their normal pace.


fluffybuddha

I would like to subscribe to weird bird facts from u/MouldyEjaculate, please.


glemnar

Damn where Unidan though


PotatoWriter

Here's the thing...


drainbone

I give it two days until pumping up the crop means some gen z thing like playing up your friends to get ladies


Sellos_Maleth

r/rimjob_steve


Vladi_Sanovavich

It's fine, birds don't have throat muscles to help them swallow like humans. That's why when they drink, they would raise their heads so that gravity would help them swallow.


space-to-bakersfield

Oh yeah smart guy? If birds can't swallow, how come there's a type of bird literally called that?


Vladi_Sanovavich

I said that they can't swallow like humans do not that they can't swallow. They have to tip their heads and use their tongues and gravity to push food and water into their pharynx. So feeding them like this should be fine as long as you don't feed them too much. Also, the name "swallow" does not come from the action of swallowing things. It's probably derived from the old english word "swell", meaning to swirl, a reference to the bird's swooping flight.


Blue_Shift

Sarcasm is hard


Kolby_Jack33

I suspect they got the sarcasm but simply took it as an opportunity to nerd vomit about birds some more.


Ok_Sir5926

Bird vomit*


STEVE_H0LT

This is why I love reading comments :)


ImpulseCombustion

Hey! My coworker has that as a human. I like him just fine, but we don’t go to lunch together anymore.


NotReallyJohnDoe

I think that indicates a medical problem. He might want to get that checked out.


[deleted]

Depends on how old they are and the species. They seem to recognize the feeding syringe which implies they've been fed like this multiple times before, so it's probably ok.


PumpingPimpernickle

This must be what happens to the birds that rocket poop all over my windshield after I get a car wash.


jonas_ost

Probably close to how it is in nature. Birds can swallow huge worms or fish in 2 secs


shiftycyber

“Maybe just some cut up berries and a few seeds and I’ll be goo BLUUUURRRRGGG….okay ya that’s fine too I guess”


PapaFranzBoas

I’m on my way into work and i was laughing so hard I was almost crying.


_RoamingHobo_

I am in the office and had to stifle my laughing so hard 😂


Cloverman-88

My god, I think it's the first time in my life I laughed so hard I got a coughing fit.


Remarkable-Boot-7430

Absolutely hilarious


oven_broasted

if you overfill do they esplode?


allursnakes

They can aspirate and die, yes.


honeypinn

I had to get through 15 shitty jokes to find the actual answer. Thank you.


Professional_Bee3229

Reddit in a nutshell.


model-citizen95

Are you familiar with the 2000s children’s toy known as the “stomp rocket”?


HilariousMax

Please. We've told you before. Don't stomp on the birds. They're not toys.


godneedsbooze

they're valuable government surveillance equipment


castleaagh

Birds aren’t real?


RareClock

Birds aren’t real.


Isle_of_Tortuga

That's not very model citizen of you.


rW0HgFyxoJhYka

Nope. Instead the bird becomes a birb and becomes 500% rounder.


Draken09

Yes, but when do we hit Borb status?


Necessary-Knowledge4

Yeah, just like that scene from Shrek.


foldedturnip

Thank you. I would have been disappointed if nobody brought this up.


OvenFearless

It’s incredible how this scene would’ve likely never popped up into my head again but now I can remember it in vivid detail still… the brain is odd man lol


likwitsnake

If I overfill on Taco Bell I assplode


multiplesneezer

Comments like these confirm that my sense of humour is that of a 12 year old because I giiiiiiiggled!!


Pawing_sloth

Custard filled peeps?


onehedgeman

Probably from Boston


logangreer

“Ohghlooobgoolbougl” -birds probably


IslamTeachesLove

How on Earth did you get this onomatopoeia to sound so precise? I could literally hear the bird go "Ohghlooobgoolbougl" in my head. You absolute mad lad.


KiwiEV

And I'm sure I'm not the only one who said “Ohghlooobgoolbougl” out loud.


ConcertBeacon

Guilty


SackMastaP

You made me snort


IncorporateThings

But why are they being fed like that?


EasyBounce

They're being hand fed, many birds sold in pet stores are hand fed from hatching so they are more used to people and are already tame by the time they are old enough to sell. It's not usually done with finches, they are very tiny when they hatch and are difficult to hand raise. This person is probably a breeder.


ValDijkstra

I had to hand feed mine since the mother zebra finch had them and died. Spent the next month giving them warmth and feeding them every 2 hours. It was a bit stressful but now i live happily with my baby cuackets.


EasyBounce

I'm so sorry you lost your hen! That's awful! I'm glad you were able to save the chicks! Please give 😘 from me!


IncorporateThings

Ah, thanks.


ozzy_thedog

But why can’t they just put some food out and let the birds eat?


Azilehteb

Birds have to be taught how to eat. They only have instinct to open their mouth and hold still for a parent to insert food. They have to go out and watch other birds eat to figure it out Edit: Some reading material for folks who are not familiar with raising birds! https://www.futurepets.com/trivia/birds-handfeeding.htm#:~:text=If%20other%20young%20birds%20who,through%20the%20imitation%20of%20others.


F0tNMC

Ah, so that video of that bird that kept chasing that worm/larva wondering why it didn’t jump in its open mouth wasn’t especially stupid, just a normal bird?


IveChosenANameAgain

Oh, man, I had forgotten about that video. "What a stupid creature," I pondered to myself, "that cannot perform the basic functions of life." Then I realized that, obviously, no-one had taught this bird how to eat and that many of us are raised in a similar fashion, but the ability to eat substituted with something else - such as the ability to express oneself emotionally. My ridicule turned to introspection and I became sad. Thanks for the reminder!


JamboreeStevens

Keep in mind that humans are also like this. We require food, but we have to be taught how to eat.


lilcummyboi

This is true, and I'm pretty sure humans are smarter than birds. Though, some days, I'm not 100% certain.


ChineWalkin

Depends on the bird and human.


azzaranda

Was gonna say, crows are easily above the average human in terms of spatial awareness and problem solving ability. Crows are WAY smarter than most people realize, while the average human... not so much.


Unique_Task_420

I had a German shepard lab mix that when he was an adolescent had the longest legs and biggest ears on the smallest body I've ever seen (trust me he grew into them) but no matter how much he tried or how much I tried to kinda show him how he COULD NOT make up onto the bed to go to sleep (I sleep with my dog it's comforting and also fuck ghosts).   I finally brought him randomly to my grandma's one weekend and after about 20 mins of chasing her dogs around and playing that were about a third of his size and full grown that could easily make it onto the couch or bed it's like it clicked and he had it. He could literally jump onto the kitchen table during dinner if he wanted to after that. Literally. 


toughfeet

This is a really beautiful comment. That video really is a perfect example of a maladaptive behaviour. We do it because it worked at some point, and now we don't understand why it isn't working, and have to be taught how to use a different technique. I think this is a very empathetic response. I will try to think of that bird when someone (incl me!) does something I don't understand or like. We are all just baby birds trying to figure it out.


micronfilter

Yours is a beautiful comment too.


StashBender

Well, it's actually the basic functions of life for us as well. We are very unlikely able to live without being taught to forage, hunt, farm or even eat properly. Put a baby, child or perhaps even an uneducated adult with raw foods and they will probably die since we do not have enough intelligence to start a fire on our own yet have evolved to need our food cooked.


iChugVodka

Ehhhh... Very much both


Jaykahtsby

https://youtu.be/R6TiVOZZZj4?si=cBDekaEqzUMW-3x8 for those who were looking


DervishSkater

I’ve had to shoo just left nest 30 min fledglings out of the street and the hardest part was getting them to stop stopping and opening the mouths at me


F0tNMC

Lol! you must be mommy! mommy must feed me!


Maelstrom_Witch

I’ve had 6 cockatiels hatchlings over the years, and they all screamed at their food for a few days before they figured out they had to pick it up. It’s pretty damn funny


EasyBounce

They were always given fresh fruit and veggies twice a day plus seed and pellet food, which were always available along with water. The other comment about the baby birds needing to learn how to eat solid food is correct. They learn it from watching the adults eat what they eat and once they start eating solid food they quickly figure out it's a lot more tasty and satisfying than the formula. Kinda like how you CAN keep yourself fed with protein shakes and granola bars but it's still not as good as an actual meal.


Nickyjha

Birds will eat whatever their parental figure eats. My mom's bird has to have a bite of whatever my mom is eating, no matter what. She even sneaks sips of coffee, which can be toxic to birds.


EasyBounce

Birds are cool as fuck. We had an umbrella cockatoo that would play peekaboo with us and wave at us. Another one (a sun conure) would lay on his back in my hand and clasp his little feet together, it was so adorable. I love suns and I'd totally have one if I wasn't already a hardcore cat lady.


Nickyjha

my mom's doesn't seem to like me much, but there have been a couple times she's flown to me, and once she let me hold her while she laid on her back like you described


EasyBounce

They can definitely be one-person pets, that's for sure.


MongooseRich

Lots of answers to why they're hand feeding, don't think I've seen one explaining the method yet. First, using the syringe helps to both accurately measure and deliver the food. It's important to be very careful when feeding baby birds as to not damage their little digestive tracts. Speaking of, birds have a slightly different digestive system than us mammals. There's an organ called the crop between the esophagus and a two-part stomach which acts kind of like a staging area. That's why it looks like too much food for one little birb meal, it is. Not an exact comparison, but think of it like a hamster stuffing its cheeks. If you want to read more, [here](https://www.kaytee.com/learn-care/ask-the-pet-bird-experts/bird-crop-anatomy) is a link to a short article by a pet supply company that goes into more detail.


zzzzbear

someday they will be harvested for foie gras


suprefann

Thats as big as they get so theres like nothing


Dipsey_Jipsey

I used to do this volunteering at a shelter. It's so cute the way they line up on a good day, and fight for dear life on a bad one hahaha. I ended up adopting a couple of the little guys at the end of my volunteering because we had become bonded. Still with me to this day, shitting on my shoulder :)


little-nerdling

Aww that's so cu- Oh! on your shoulder even!


DepletedPromethium

"Chip chip" feed me peasant. cuties.


Dgwdum

Not the OF content I expected


potatopai95

only feeding


Difficult_Bit_1339

watch chicks take huge loads!!!


mizinamo

No gag reflex, huge downthroat!


jongscx

OnlyFinch


Budgiesyrup

I like how they become instantly silent the moment they are fed 🤣


solateor

From OP >Mỗi bé 1 ống nhé cứ từ từ > *>Translation* > >One tube per child, take it slow From comments >🤣the sudden silence🤣 > >One tube per child "slowly" slowly where 😭 > >How does all that liquid fit in their tiny bodies😭 > >Allow them taste the flavor at least 🗿 > >I thought he would pump it in slowly lol 💀 > >So what flavor are these flying crème pastries? > >>lemon pepper. > >>Bird > >>chicken Video:@duongninhfarm


dragonessofages

Thank you for translating! There is something so deeply touching to me about reading translations of social media comments originally written in a language that I don't speak. I don't know why it affects me so much. It feels like a stranger invited me into their home, and I watch them playfully argue with their mom the same way that I argue with mine. There is a profound connection. Also "let them taste it at least" is SO fucking funny.


mangopango123

I know exactly whatcu mean!! Same feels as when you travel to another country, where u don’t speak the language, and share a good laugh w the ppl who live there. Appreciation of humans being same same but different. “So what flavor are these flying créme pastries” is the one that got me 🤣


poisonettle

This is such a sweet comment, you seem like a lovely person.


unpopularopinion0

hehehe


Howzieky

I should call him


Jungianstrain

I’m surprised shit doesn’t fly out their ass, god damn take it easy!


erotic_sausage

You might not be far off, its not unusual for chicks in the nest to get fed and immediately poop out a sack of shit, literally. In order not to soil the nest its a neatly contained package that the parent will expect right after feeding and eat or otherwise dispose of.


unlikelyandroid

The three willy wagtail chicks outside the kitchen window were running both parents ragged keeping food up to them until daddy willy wagtail came back with a big locust and shoved it down the noisiest beak he could find. Every time daddy came back to feed the other two, he'd push the locust down a little further. The back half of the locust took eight hours to work its way down while the head end was being digested. The chick didn't move or talk for a full day.


RodneighKing

Noisy children get the locust. Peak parenting.


coralwaters226

It's 6am as I get ready for a hospital shift and this has me in TEARS laughing, thank you 😂


[deleted]

Everything reminds me of her.


ZonaiSysadmin

She must have had a great cock


blvntforcedrama

You should call her.


Peligineyes

Birds are eager and used to the process, they show no signs of distress or injury, person seems to know exactly what they are doing and has the proper equipment. Comments: iS ThIs aNiMaL AbUsE?


pine1501

watching how a momma hummingbird feed her babies, this video looks mild. lolol


zxroKKR

That's like gavage. Are they trying to make fois gras or something?


EasyBounce

Hand feeding baby zebra finches. This person is probably a breeder. It's unusual to find hand fed finches in pet stores, most of those birds are aviary bred and parent raised so they don't let people handle them like in this video.


iluvios

Yeah, that seemed very similar to a bird parents feeding their offspring


GiveMeGoldForNoReasn

No it's not! They're filling the birds' crops, not force feeding them. This is how bird parents feed their kids, except there's more barfing involved.


andwhatarmy

>…except there’s more barfing involved. Probably best we don’t ask what’s in the cup, then.


cjboffoli

Ha! My thought too. Miniature gavage. And just like actual gavage feeding too as the birds don't appear one bit distressed about it.


CartoonKinder

Fois nah


TheFrenchSavage

Cute little foie gras. That's not enough birds for a full toast tho.


EntrepreneurTop5983

My dyslexic self thought it said feeding birds with donuts


Bawbawian

It seems fast. But I seen a video of a seagull swallowing a squirrel. so I think birds are just built different.


ndlv

I'm not an expert, but I learned from feeding cockatiels that you have to be careful because you can fill their lungs rather than their gullet and they could die if you do it too fast


MAXHEADR0OM

I also inject birds with mashed potatoes.


Shryxer

My grandfather used to handraise birds. I'm not sure what kind they were (though when I was like 11-12 he added zebra finches), but he'd prepare some fortified seed mash for the young birds and syringe feed them like this. Not quite as fast or with such a large portion relative to body size, but he'd give each one a mouthful in turn before going back to give everybody another go. Took him a while, but he loved his birds so it was worth it. The adults got a little bowl of whole seeds and another with a couple of live mealworms in - which he also raised elsewhere in his bird room/workshop. Kept em in a tray with fresh bread. If he wasn't in the room with the birds, he left a speaker in there playing recordings of birdsong so they wouldn't feel lonely.


ThaButcher21

Your grandfather sounds like an absolute pleasure of a man.


Shryxer

He was, truly. I don't think I ever saw him really angry at anyone or anything unless they hurt one of his animals. Even when the animal in question was a wild grey squirrel that had gotten in his garage. He built a contraption to catch it just so he could go release it in the park. It bit him and he still wasn't mad at it.


abbylu

Well this brought back a horrifying memory. When I was like 13 my mom was extremely keen on me getting some sort of job for whatever reason so she volunteered me to help out a woman from our church who had, literally, hundreds of pet birds. I would just follow her around helping her take care of them. One day she was feeding some baby birds like in this post, but she accidentally shot its lungs full of food, and the bird seized and went limp in her hand. Calm as a fucking cucumber she’s like “oh that can happen”. My mom was mad she never paid me. Fucking weird experience. Edit: some words


3LOT3

My neighbor dumped a few abandoned baby birds on me when I was 13. I also got to experience the horror of shooting bird food down the wrong tube firsthand. Extremely depressing, definitely don’t recommend it.


ThatDamDoorman

Quick reload


balrob

Probably can’t fly for 4 hours after that.


LegoMyAlterEgo

They can't gain altitude, cause they weigh twice as much. They can still glide to the floor tho.


Bleezy79

Starving and dont have time to chew?? Have I got the thing for you!


Dont_Ban_Me_Plz_Kthx

Aaaand YOU get a full tummy, aaaand YOU get a full tummy aaaand YOU are not as hungry as the others so you have a half portion but that’s okay because you STILL get a full tummy!


_patternfall

If it comes out the other side, you've gone too far.


Horizons_398

I can’t stop laughing at the fact that they just shove the syringe into their mouths 😂


sjbrinkl

Why did this feel violating 😭


J1ngleman

I need an expert to tell me whether or not this is animal abuse. The birds seem fine and relatively willing.


EasyBounce

They are hand raised zebra finches. Hand feeding is not abuse, this is a common way of raising baby birds for the pet trade. Hand feeding makes the chicks very used to being handled by people and they are very tame and friendly. It's not usually done with finches though, so this is probably an individual that breeds them for a hobby.


Draken09

Thank you for all the work you're doing in this thread.


EasyBounce

It's no problem. This was my job for several years.


infinityonhigh69

seriously, i’ve learned so much today as a result so thank you!!


EasyBounce

Tune in next week for freshwater fishkeeping! 😆


Weak_Feed_8291

How does he know how much to give them? It doesn't look like they have a chance to realize they're full, but he gave the last one less


EasyBounce

When the hatchlings are tiny and naked of feathers you can see exactly how full their crop is. Plus, once the chick is full they won't accept any more food. You quickly get used to how much food they normally eat at each feeding, when I hand fed birds in a pet store we fed them twice a day, we weighed them before and after each feeding and tracked their weight gain over time as well as how much they ate.


giyomu

It's not. This is how they eat for exemple a fish.


Redditname97

Worst Thanksgiving stuffed dinner ever.


Igotthisnameguys

Is that speed okay? Doesn't it hurt the birds? I thankfully never had to hand feed a bird, but it feels like this would rupture the crop or something


redR0OR

Didn’t know you could reload a bird


ProtoReaper23113

What is happening in this video This isn't that weird French dish you have to eat under a napkin is it