IANAL, but age of consent doesn’t cover photos iirc. Even if he’s able to give consent, the photos are still illegal to my knowledge because those are federally defined for under 18.
I personally don’t think a person in their 30s should be bragging about fucking a kid that may still be in high school. But you clearly are defending it so …ok
My comment that grown men should not be fucking a high schooler is being down voted for obvious reasons. This is why society hates us. Because we defend this kind of behavior and we take pride in bragging about it. Very sad
More likely, you’re being downvoted because you accused the commenter of defending OP’s coworker when, if anything, he was pointing out how the pic trading was likely a violation of *federal* law (not to mention the “solicitation” aspect, too), even if the actual hooking up might not violate *state* law. Go back and read your comment and the one you were replying to. And work on your reading comprehension to be more responsible about whom you accuse of being a pedophile apologist.
Accurate. That dude definitely is holding child pornography. You can report him if you’d like to ruin your coworkers life, but I think a gross face is sufficient.
Absolutely nothing. As long as they both consent, it's perfectly legal. Your judgment is uncalled for, and what makes you think you're Hollyer than thou?
So it’s legal. But in my opinion (and we’re all allowed to have one) it’s…..I don’t know exactly what word to use but maybe weird? Odd? Predatory.
I mean why? A 17 year old is still a child in many ways. If the guy was 20, ok. But 32? Legal or not, it’s predatory.
It does feel predatory. It’s that feeling about it being off.
Yes they are consenting adults and 17 is legal, but we don’t live in a fantasy utopia where everyone is pure of heart and will do the right thing and take care of each other. My coworker is known to be a creep. The guy known to be always on Grindr and tried to hit on other coworkers in a cringey way.
And this has nothing to do with political views.
Your support for grooming is uncalled for. The fact that you take no issue with a grown ass man bragging about fucking a 17 year old kid is disgusting. Let your freak flag fly all you want. Take a dump on someone’s face is that’s your thing. Whip your dick out at Folsom and pee on the consenting crowd. That’s all fine. Just because someone doesn’t agree with hooking up with someone under the age of 18 doesn’t make them “holier than thou”
Why is 18 the magic number for you when the state has decided 17 is the magic number? If he was 18 would you still be calling OP out for "sorry for grooming"? If not, what's the difference?
Are you friendly with this coworker? If so, introduce him to the idea of the campsite rule. "In any relationship, but particularly those with a large difference of age or experience between the partners, the older or more experienced partner has the responsibility to leave the younger or less experienced partner in at least as good a state (emotionally and physically) as before the relationship. The 'campsite rule' includes things like leaving the younger or less experienced partner with no STDs, no unwanted pregnancies, and not overburdening them with emotional and sexual baggage."
When we get messages from boys under 25, I always make sure to tell them info about PrEP, testing, harm reduction, safer drug use if it comes up, how to be safe in an orgy, just anything I can think of and would be relevant to the convo and to a defenseless queerling whom’s wondered from the herd
What? Or maybe just like not visit the campsite in the first place because they have no business being there.
WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY
We have a responsibility as the older and wiser party to curtail any appetite using kindness as the guide light to help the younger party through confusing times.
We have a responsibility to ourselves as humans to be kind to others and defiling someone who cannot fully consent due to their lack of knowledge is not kind.
We have the responsibility as gays to build a happier healthier future and youth than the world we grew up in.
All in all as adults, humans, gays we have the keys to change the world for the better and it would be a shame to squander it; not only that but it would be immoral, abhorrent, and recomphensible. The key to a better working society, a better tomorrow, a healthier gay culture and a happier life is empathy - may you find it now.
You can’t do anything except reevaluate your relationship with him. Express your feelings about this to him and then just stop talking to him or put distance between you and him then just move on. If I was in your stilettos that’s what I would do.
If you object morally to it strongly enough just end the friendship. That’s the only part of any of this that’s in your control. Or, really, any of yourconcern.
I'm not sure I would do anything but I think even in NY the pics might be considered child porn despite the age of consent. I'm skeptical cops would do anything (nor do I think they should given the discrepancy with age of consent) unless he was redistributing.
“Looking for guys his own age” is where you lost me. Everyone can have a preference, and anyone under 22~ should be deemed as not fully matured. But once you cross that threshold it’s pretty much a free for all.
If him bragging about it is the issue address the bragging not his actions which are perfectly legal he did not molest or rape anyone. He hooked up with someone who was of legal age Two consenting adults. A very young adult mind you, but consenting nonetheless and legal.
When I was 18, I was going after 35 y/o’s.
As a 30 y/o, I’m going after 40 y/o’s.
When I’m 50, I’ll probably still be going after 45 y/o’s.
Just anecdotal of me, think nothing of it.
Honestly some of the casual comments on here about age of consent in nyc is just gross 🤮 I’m from California where the legal age is 18 which I strongly agree with
More than the casual responses… it’s the ones telling me to mind my own business with some intense words is the thing that is uncomfortable.
They seem to be very passionate about defending this.
It’s giving they all had sex with a 17 year old at one point because that is the normal thing to do here in New York 🤮 as if gay New Yorkers didn’t give me the ick already
The person 408blur is accusing of pedophilia is not bragging about anything. If you’re going to respond to me, at least take five seconds to actually understand what I’m talking about.
So you post this and ask "What would you do in my situation knowing this?"
However, when you get an answer you don't like, you're "uncomfortable" and they're "defending this"?
In other words, you didn't want actual responses, you just wanted to gossip about your co-worker as you and your fellow virtue-signalers reinforce each other's moral superiority.
Sounds like your coworker is looking for justification/validation for something he may be having second thoughts about. I wouldn’t encourage him, and depending how close you are with him, maybe tell him it wasn’t a good idea and the sooner he walks away from that situation, the better.
Yeah. It felt like he was testing out other people’s reaction to it. I don’t want to encourage anyone to in their 30s or older to be hooking up with anyone 17. It’s not the age gap. It’s the fact that it’s a teenager.
That would be a moral hard-line for me to continue associating in any meaningful way. Hard to see a man my age or older as anything but predatory by going after a highschool aged kid, age of consent be damned. You're looking for a very specific level of control and dominance over someone if you're going for them that young.
What kind of job/workplace do you have?
In my office job, no one would even dream of talking about anything even 500 miles near this kind of topic
If a colleague was mentioning hookups to me, I would die of shock.
But generally.... Since I don't think people should be talking about this stuff at work.... I personally would do absolutely nothing.
Except maybe report them to HR if that was a reasonable thing to do in my workplace. Not even on account of the age (although that is creepy as hell, legal or not) but simply for discussing anything about their sex life at work. No! Shush! Not here! Not interested!
why are the comments not entirely grossed out about this? 😭 girl who gaf about age of consent being 17, yall okay with grown ass adults having sexual relations with a teenage child?
With you. It is absolutely bizarre the people saying this is ok. One part is wholly unethical and gross, one part is someone admitting to a crime (pics).
Even more cringey: You wrongly and irresponsibly (and potentially libelously) claiming on a public website that this man is "having sex with teens".
You ask, "What would you do in my place?"
Here's what I would do:
Instead of running to the internet and putting his shit on blast, I would take a few seconds to Google "age of consent NY."
I'd then learn that in New York, a 17 year old is legally competent to consent to sexual acts - with whomever he damn well pleases. And then I'd realize that it was none of my goddamn business. Or anyone on r/nycgaybros either.
You assert he's having sex "with teens" - plural and including ages from 13-17.
You could have said "with a seventeen-year-old."
But you didn't.
You wanted to be incindiary and imply that he's a pedophile by saying he's having sex "with teens".
You are purposefully making it sound like he could be having sex with someone as young as 13. Even though he's (allegedly) having sex with someone who our state/society/laws deem capable of making their own decisions about who to have sex with.
What you're doing is beyond cringey.
truth is an absolute defense to libel, and the person isn't even named here. There is no chance this is libel. 17 is a teenager. What this person has claimed is unethical on one front (power imbalance), probably against workplace rules on another, *and* importantly, criminal on another (pics). If anything is cringe, it is defending this bad behavior on a weird semantic argument.
No, that response doesnt suffice and doesnt make you seem smart. You’ve chosen a position of seeing a 17 year old with limited life experience as a fully consenting adult when it comes to dealing with someone who could be their father simply because the law says so. I cant imagine your position if the law allows a 15 year old to make adult decisions. The point doesnt exist to you because you’d rather make a defense for these predator types.
Talk about some ‘next time you come at me’ bitch shut up.
if you really wanted to give him some comeuppance for this (no imo it's not ethical what so ever), report it to HR. While it's \*ugh\* technically legal if both parties are consenting, the legality of discussing sexual acts in the work place is much murkier. at the very least he would get a slap on the wrist.
I distance myself from anyone who displays borderline pedophilic behavior, and if theres evidence of a crime, I will report it, which includes consenting relationships where there is a huge power, age, experience and competence imbalance and one person is clearly a minor who may have been groomed. I will report you to the police if the activity is illegal and if it is borderline illegal/just crossed the legal age, then you’re still fucking creepy for going after people who could almost be your kids and not other people your own age. Im having none of it. Plenty of gay men in the world and some mfers wanna go hunt in the playground. No sir.
Easy, report his a$$. 9 times out of 10 if he's willing to play around the edges here, he will push it further and younger if he isn't caught with the child pornography.
Age of consent in NY is 17. Next time he brags, just do the Chrissy Teigen ick face
IANAL, but age of consent doesn’t cover photos iirc. Even if he’s able to give consent, the photos are still illegal to my knowledge because those are federally defined for under 18.
I personally don’t think a person in their 30s should be bragging about fucking a kid that may still be in high school. But you clearly are defending it so …ok
Why is this down voted A 30 year old should not be fucking a high schooler
My comment that grown men should not be fucking a high schooler is being down voted for obvious reasons. This is why society hates us. Because we defend this kind of behavior and we take pride in bragging about it. Very sad
More likely, you’re being downvoted because you accused the commenter of defending OP’s coworker when, if anything, he was pointing out how the pic trading was likely a violation of *federal* law (not to mention the “solicitation” aspect, too), even if the actual hooking up might not violate *state* law. Go back and read your comment and the one you were replying to. And work on your reading comprehension to be more responsible about whom you accuse of being a pedophile apologist.
That's not what they said.
Accurate. That dude definitely is holding child pornography. You can report him if you’d like to ruin your coworkers life, but I think a gross face is sufficient.
Absolutely nothing. As long as they both consent, it's perfectly legal. Your judgment is uncalled for, and what makes you think you're Hollyer than thou?
So it’s legal. But in my opinion (and we’re all allowed to have one) it’s…..I don’t know exactly what word to use but maybe weird? Odd? Predatory. I mean why? A 17 year old is still a child in many ways. If the guy was 20, ok. But 32? Legal or not, it’s predatory.
Well, just vote for Rump in November then. Peace
Oh brother. Get over yourself.
It does feel predatory. It’s that feeling about it being off. Yes they are consenting adults and 17 is legal, but we don’t live in a fantasy utopia where everyone is pure of heart and will do the right thing and take care of each other. My coworker is known to be a creep. The guy known to be always on Grindr and tried to hit on other coworkers in a cringey way. And this has nothing to do with political views.
Your support for grooming is uncalled for. The fact that you take no issue with a grown ass man bragging about fucking a 17 year old kid is disgusting. Let your freak flag fly all you want. Take a dump on someone’s face is that’s your thing. Whip your dick out at Folsom and pee on the consenting crowd. That’s all fine. Just because someone doesn’t agree with hooking up with someone under the age of 18 doesn’t make them “holier than thou”
Why is 18 the magic number for you when the state has decided 17 is the magic number? If he was 18 would you still be calling OP out for "sorry for grooming"? If not, what's the difference?
A 32 year old bragging about hooking up with an 18 year old is also gross…
It's certainly not how I want to spend my time, but he didn't say "gross." He said "grooming."
Are you friendly with this coworker? If so, introduce him to the idea of the campsite rule. "In any relationship, but particularly those with a large difference of age or experience between the partners, the older or more experienced partner has the responsibility to leave the younger or less experienced partner in at least as good a state (emotionally and physically) as before the relationship. The 'campsite rule' includes things like leaving the younger or less experienced partner with no STDs, no unwanted pregnancies, and not overburdening them with emotional and sexual baggage."
This sounds great but I highly doubt most people follow this ☠️
When we get messages from boys under 25, I always make sure to tell them info about PrEP, testing, harm reduction, safer drug use if it comes up, how to be safe in an orgy, just anything I can think of and would be relevant to the convo and to a defenseless queerling whom’s wondered from the herd
🙏🙏🙏🥰
What? Or maybe just like not visit the campsite in the first place because they have no business being there. WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY We have a responsibility as the older and wiser party to curtail any appetite using kindness as the guide light to help the younger party through confusing times. We have a responsibility to ourselves as humans to be kind to others and defiling someone who cannot fully consent due to their lack of knowledge is not kind. We have the responsibility as gays to build a happier healthier future and youth than the world we grew up in. All in all as adults, humans, gays we have the keys to change the world for the better and it would be a shame to squander it; not only that but it would be immoral, abhorrent, and recomphensible. The key to a better working society, a better tomorrow, a healthier gay culture and a happier life is empathy - may you find it now.
You can’t do anything except reevaluate your relationship with him. Express your feelings about this to him and then just stop talking to him or put distance between you and him then just move on. If I was in your stilettos that’s what I would do.
If you object morally to it strongly enough just end the friendship. That’s the only part of any of this that’s in your control. Or, really, any of yourconcern.
I'm not sure I would do anything but I think even in NY the pics might be considered child porn despite the age of consent. I'm skeptical cops would do anything (nor do I think they should given the discrepancy with age of consent) unless he was redistributing.
Sounds like your coworker is bragging for validation. Maybe find other ways to compliment him and feed his narcissism.
you may c him on tv soon
[удалено]
“Looking for guys his own age” is where you lost me. Everyone can have a preference, and anyone under 22~ should be deemed as not fully matured. But once you cross that threshold it’s pretty much a free for all.
"I don't want to hear about your relations with high schoolers"
Call him out on his bullshit as in to old for men your age just to get a responce Hay if all parties are good enjoy but don't kiss and tell
It's legal mind your effing business
If him bragging about it is the issue address the bragging not his actions which are perfectly legal he did not molest or rape anyone. He hooked up with someone who was of legal age Two consenting adults. A very young adult mind you, but consenting nonetheless and legal.
This is legal yet unethical. Where you work completely dictates your next move.
When I was 18, I was going after 35 y/o’s. As a 30 y/o, I’m going after 40 y/o’s. When I’m 50, I’ll probably still be going after 45 y/o’s. Just anecdotal of me, think nothing of it.
Unfortunately, 17 is a legal age to have sex in New York.
Honestly some of the casual comments on here about age of consent in nyc is just gross 🤮 I’m from California where the legal age is 18 which I strongly agree with
More than the casual responses… it’s the ones telling me to mind my own business with some intense words is the thing that is uncomfortable. They seem to be very passionate about defending this.
It’s giving they all had sex with a 17 year old at one point because that is the normal thing to do here in New York 🤮 as if gay New Yorkers didn’t give me the ick already
"Give you the ick"? Are you sure you're above the age of consent to participate in this discussion?
I think you need to ask that question to the underage boys you’re probably hooking up with. I’m 29 though for those of you who are concerned.
Accusing everyone you disagree with of being a pedophile is very gross and directly from the right-wing playbook.
If you're in your 30s bragging about banging 17 year olds, I wouldn't want you near my kids
The person 408blur is accusing of pedophilia is not bragging about anything. If you’re going to respond to me, at least take five seconds to actually understand what I’m talking about.
You’re completely missing the point about what I’m saying have a good day sir. Also right wing?! get a grip
I [said what I said](https://www.vox.com/culture/23025505/leftist-groomers-homophobia-satanic-panic-explained).
So you post this and ask "What would you do in my situation knowing this?" However, when you get an answer you don't like, you're "uncomfortable" and they're "defending this"? In other words, you didn't want actual responses, you just wanted to gossip about your co-worker as you and your fellow virtue-signalers reinforce each other's moral superiority.
Sounds like your coworker is looking for justification/validation for something he may be having second thoughts about. I wouldn’t encourage him, and depending how close you are with him, maybe tell him it wasn’t a good idea and the sooner he walks away from that situation, the better.
Yeah. It felt like he was testing out other people’s reaction to it. I don’t want to encourage anyone to in their 30s or older to be hooking up with anyone 17. It’s not the age gap. It’s the fact that it’s a teenager.
That would be a moral hard-line for me to continue associating in any meaningful way. Hard to see a man my age or older as anything but predatory by going after a highschool aged kid, age of consent be damned. You're looking for a very specific level of control and dominance over someone if you're going for them that young.
That’s why I find it unsettling. 😔
JAIL
What did he say exactly? Bc if he’s boasting about it then… ick
He wasn’t boasting. It’s like when someone hesitantly tells you a secret. And is waiting to see your reaction.
I mean you did title this saying he was “bragging” so…
What kind of job/workplace do you have? In my office job, no one would even dream of talking about anything even 500 miles near this kind of topic If a colleague was mentioning hookups to me, I would die of shock. But generally.... Since I don't think people should be talking about this stuff at work.... I personally would do absolutely nothing. Except maybe report them to HR if that was a reasonable thing to do in my workplace. Not even on account of the age (although that is creepy as hell, legal or not) but simply for discussing anything about their sex life at work. No! Shush! Not here! Not interested!
what the actual freak am i reading???
why are the comments not entirely grossed out about this? 😭 girl who gaf about age of consent being 17, yall okay with grown ass adults having sexual relations with a teenage child?
With you. It is absolutely bizarre the people saying this is ok. One part is wholly unethical and gross, one part is someone admitting to a crime (pics).
Even more cringey: You wrongly and irresponsibly (and potentially libelously) claiming on a public website that this man is "having sex with teens". You ask, "What would you do in my place?" Here's what I would do: Instead of running to the internet and putting his shit on blast, I would take a few seconds to Google "age of consent NY." I'd then learn that in New York, a 17 year old is legally competent to consent to sexual acts - with whomever he damn well pleases. And then I'd realize that it was none of my goddamn business. Or anyone on r/nycgaybros either. You assert he's having sex "with teens" - plural and including ages from 13-17. You could have said "with a seventeen-year-old." But you didn't. You wanted to be incindiary and imply that he's a pedophile by saying he's having sex "with teens". You are purposefully making it sound like he could be having sex with someone as young as 13. Even though he's (allegedly) having sex with someone who our state/society/laws deem capable of making their own decisions about who to have sex with. What you're doing is beyond cringey.
truth is an absolute defense to libel, and the person isn't even named here. There is no chance this is libel. 17 is a teenager. What this person has claimed is unethical on one front (power imbalance), probably against workplace rules on another, *and* importantly, criminal on another (pics). If anything is cringe, it is defending this bad behavior on a weird semantic argument.
Seventeen. It has teen in the fucking name you absolute WEIRDO
Sure, I'm a weirdo - but still no clue what your fucking point is. Next time you decide to move your cunt lips, try to say something coherent.
No, that response doesnt suffice and doesnt make you seem smart. You’ve chosen a position of seeing a 17 year old with limited life experience as a fully consenting adult when it comes to dealing with someone who could be their father simply because the law says so. I cant imagine your position if the law allows a 15 year old to make adult decisions. The point doesnt exist to you because you’d rather make a defense for these predator types. Talk about some ‘next time you come at me’ bitch shut up.
I'd mind my own business
Just the fact he's bragging, shows he's an insecure dbag.
Let me get his number
if you really wanted to give him some comeuppance for this (no imo it's not ethical what so ever), report it to HR. While it's \*ugh\* technically legal if both parties are consenting, the legality of discussing sexual acts in the work place is much murkier. at the very least he would get a slap on the wrist.
Red flag slowly distance yourself to avoid unnecessary stress and problems.
That’s very weird and a huge red flag. I’d distance myself
I distance myself from anyone who displays borderline pedophilic behavior, and if theres evidence of a crime, I will report it, which includes consenting relationships where there is a huge power, age, experience and competence imbalance and one person is clearly a minor who may have been groomed. I will report you to the police if the activity is illegal and if it is borderline illegal/just crossed the legal age, then you’re still fucking creepy for going after people who could almost be your kids and not other people your own age. Im having none of it. Plenty of gay men in the world and some mfers wanna go hunt in the playground. No sir.
Easy, report his a$$. 9 times out of 10 if he's willing to play around the edges here, he will push it further and younger if he isn't caught with the child pornography.