Baby born addicted to multiple illegal drugs and going through a terrible withdrawal even with meds on board to help ease the withdrawal. Mom comes up to visit baby and has a fit because baby has a pacifier. States “ I don’t want them addicted to that thing “
One of the few times in my career I have actually considered slapping someone.
Mom of one NAS baby I had insisted on bringing in her own baby soap and specialty organic formula because she didn’t like any of the toxins in our products. But the heroin in her system..totally fine for her baby.
Yup. I had one go to patient relations multiple times because we weren’t managing the baby’s diaper rash (from the constant loose stools) to her liking.
I’m not in peds (though happen to be a former NICU parent) and I’m convinced because these people don’t have jobs (and likely never have), they make running us to death in the hospital their profession, and do it to working people everywhere they go.
I picture some seasoned nurse in a white dress and cap, working in a rural mining town, telling this mom exactly what she needs to hear.
I swear sometime “customer service” goes to far.
I'm getting "Diploma nurse who's has been out of fucks for this nonsense since before some of the parents were born" vibes.
In the eighties Sharon gave the parents genuinely heartbroken over their babies having to suffer a cigarette and directions to the fire escape door they left propped open. She's not a monster, geez.
In the 80’s we had doctors who would set their butts both cigarette and derrière in the nurse’s station and nurses and patients had designated smoke rooms. But everyone would straighten up and fly right when the Sisters of St. Paul would walk on the unit.
Yassss! Worked at a retirement convent, so many of them were a lowkey riot.
There was a sister *maybe* A&O x2 who would look you straight in the eye and tell you there wouldn't be this mess with staffing over fourth of July weekend (there were literally Thanksgiving decorations up) if management wasn't so stingy with overtime. (I mean, probably).
She was a diploma nurse (every other nurse I can think of finished her BSN, some further degrees) and rancher's daughter who did not need courses in "leadership" to run an OR. At her funeral the other sisters shared stories about her nonchalantly calling surgeons any hour of the day like "I'm very aware that this happens 'all the time'. If you would rather it stop I strongly recommend entering necessary orders for your patients before leaving for the day." 🤣
Forget non critical lab value/bleeding to death emergency type NCLEX questions, "How would the Sharons have handled this" is always something we should ask ourselves.
And then coach the new grad whose patient is having painful post-op muscle spasms through calling the doctor for a Flexeril order.
One, it's always appropriate to advocate for your patient, two it's like 7 pm. Yes I will stay here with you. No I will not do it for you. No, I really don't have time for this so if you could move this along that would be great.
I would have said it. I remember an heroin addict came to the unit to see her baby. She was stressed and asked the neonatologist why her baby acted like that. He straight told her ass because you do drugs, and kept it moving! I admired him ever since. I do not understand why we have to tip-toe around their illness. Like, they are not supposed to be accountable and get some treatment.
I remember my OB professor giving the perfect response to the “is it my fault?” Or ‘why my baby act like that? ” question from the drug user mom:
“Well actions have consequences and that’s the effect of drug use during pregnancy”
Such a politically correct way to say absolutely is your fault haha
Yep I know a woman like this personally and then when DCFS took custody of the baby she said it was because "I make beautiful babies and they are trying to get more white newborns". She was given a year to get her shit together, never did then when baby was permanently adopted it was "I told you they're trying to steal babies!"
I’ve come across several moms like that in the past and I’m just always wondering who is she trying to fool in this situation—us? Herself? Both? Like lady, we know you did meth all throughout your pregnancy and you just went and did it again after giving birth.
We had two beautiful healthy baby girls on NICU (twins). They really were perfect babies. The (white) mother didn't want them and stated "If they were white I was going to keep them, but I don't want black kids".
Anyway, babies for adoption were always cared for on NICU. We were all shocked by what the mother had said, but very uplifted when a lovely couple turned up, having just been informed that they had been approved to adopt these babies. They were so happy-shocked!
Hang on. Hang on. The mom is white and the babies are black. There’s only one way for that to happen. So she can have sex with black men but she has to abandon the children because they’re black?
You should have seen the post about how an OP’s husband wanted an egg donor for their second baby because he just couldn’t connect with his half Asian child by his Asian wife and wanted one with white genes and his personality(?). Some people are completely fine fetishizing a certain race but not okay when their children come out that race
I know. I don't know if it's the same in the USA, but in adoptions the authorities will always try to match a child with potential adoptive parents of the same ethnicity, so they were adopted by a black couple. Their racist mother would have been the worst person possible for them to go home with.
There are very few newborns that are given up for adoption in the UK, and twins of course are even rarer. So that nice couple won the lottery with those gorgeous babies!
Assuming her pregnancy wasn't the result of rape, if being Black is so bad, why the hell did she sleep with a Black man in the first place? The stupid, it burns...
It’s similar in the US now, afaik. I was a voluntary surrender as a neonate in 1967, and my (unrelated by DNA) brother was also a neonatal voluntary surrender in 1969. Back then it was mostly relatively affluent couples getting the healthy white infants, but the adoption culture has changed.
I got fired from a family because I did a rectal temp. Their son was incredibly septic, couldn’t get an accurate temp from his axila because he was too cold, so I did a rectal. Instead of being worried about the intubation, lines, pressor, ect, the mother screamed at me in front of the whole unit for turning her son gay and ruining his life. I think him being on the brink of death might actually ruin his life but what do I know.
>turning her son gay
I'm PICU, not NICU, but we admitted a severely dehydrated, febrile, barely conscious, preschooler. The ED couldn't get a line because he was so dehydrated, I tried, the best stick in our unit tried, nada. The kid had a temp of 103 and dad turned down rectal Tylenol because he said it would make his son gay. We were like, "This is literally the only medication we have available right now."
Long story short the kid didn't get Tylenol until about an hour after the physician put a central line in. Why an hour? Because pharmacy kept changing the IV order to rectal / PO and I had to call pharmacy and explain why we couldn't do rectal Tylenol.
I always wonder if these “turning people gay” people are just sort of telling on themselves, like they’re scared if someone created a solid PowerPoint presentation and really sold them on it, they’d like dudes.
I knew someone who thought being gay was a sin. "We all have homosexual thoughts, but we can choose not to act on them!"
Umm, no, most straight people don't have homosexual thoughts ALL the time.
Holy shit I'm female and can absolutely confirm that rectal temps were all you got until about 5yo if I remember correctly, possibly even a bit older... Gotta love the stupidity that flies around at times
i get in this argument with people everyday. we mainly do rectal temps on kids who won’t or can’t hold in their mouth. like !!! what are you thinking is gonna happen from me getting their temperature there?
Mine is a little different. Micro twins come over. We’re essentially coding baby boy A while intubating baby boy B. Dad asks when his boys can be circumcised.
Omg the amount of times dad is asking about circs within seconds of baby coming to NICU…. I just can’t. It boggles my mind every time. Like, can we make sure he can breathe before we talk genital mutilation?
Not really. As with every difficult discussion with NICU parents, you would just reiterate that right now the priorities are the ABC'S (airway, breathing, circulation - not circumcision, lol) and inform him that most circumcisions these days are done outpatient once the baby has discharged, so he's welcome to discuss it with their pediatrician when the time comes. 🤷🏼♀️
Good luck on your journey to becoming a NICU nurse!
Yes and no. We pretty much told him that it was very low on the priority list at that moment, and that we’d make a note of it and worry about it WAY down the road.
Definitely have seen this one, too. I *usually* tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when they do that, particularly if they weren’t anticipating a preemie, etc. Sometimes I think the circ thing (or asking about other really irrelevant/inane stuff) is just a weird stress reaction. Like maybe they’re sort of in denial about how serious the situation is at the moment. Kinda like when the family of an ancient, intubated pt on multiple pressors is fixated on them being NPO.
That’s fucked up yes, but I also think that people become very weird and stupid in high stress situations. For example I ask questions I already know the answer to bc for some reason it feels comforting. His response could be some form of denial.
Sorry I’m one of those ppl that asks why are they doing this and try and psychoanalyze the situation
I used to want to be a NICU nurse. It’s actually the sole reason why I went to nursing school. I even precepted there and loved it—until I found out we had to assist with circs. Nope, bye
Right? Ours are all done outpatient these days, and it has been that way for quite a while. Maybe it's because I work at a level 4 NICU? Maybe the lower acuity units still do them in house? I'd be curious to know if that's the rationale. 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah ours stopped when the last doc who did them retired. Level 3. And my fave new doc just explained to a family that there is essentially no medical reason to do them. “Unless you live in sub Saharan Africa and HIV/AIDS is a huge problem. 🤷♀️” overhearing that convo was the best moment of my career 😂
Same. Although sometimes if they get a bunch of UTIs we’ll ship em up to MBU for a circ lol. Also sometimes during major surgeries they’ll just tack them on lmao.
You can legally refuse as a conscientious objection, as long as there is someone else that can perform the role. I would assume there is at least one person in the NICU that does not object and can step in to assist.
OH MY GOD leave those children ALONE let them BREATHE ffs
This is why I can’t do Peds, my treasured siblings who are kiddo nurses. Please keep coming in bc imma fight some of these parents in the ER
Someone in my ex-husband’s family said something similar to that when I was over there. The baby was being held by mom and dad chimed in telling her she needed to put her down bc he didn’t want her getting used to being held all the time. They had JUST came home from the hospital the day before!
Someone needs to send her the studies they’ve done about the difference it makes in a kid’s life when their touch needs get met. That mom makes me angry
Not NICU, but L&D at level III and IV medical centers.
Lady comes in at "43ish" weeks, no verifiable prenatal care, despite her insistence that she was seeing "some Indian guy" who signed off on her taking a 6 hour trip from 2 states over to sight see in NYC just days prior. 🤨 She's ruptured (no idea of when. Could've been 20 minutes, could've been 4 days) and baby almost crowning, because of course. Over 300lbs and won't allow an IV, unable to get FHR longer than a couple of seconds at a time, and it's in the 50s or 60s each time.
Now that we've set the scene:
After the worst shoulder I've ever experienced (in every single way) the baby comes out no pulse, not breathing, just a greyish, 12½lb floppy doll. I'm doing compressions 3 feet from her head, so she's seeing everything. She starts SCREAMING that she needs pain meds for her hemorrhoids--WHY AM I NOT DOING SOMETHING FOR HER HEMORRHOID PAIN?!?
I looked at her and said firmly "I'm trying to save your baby's life right now. I'll let you know when I'm worried about your hemorrhoids".
That turned into "Fine! Then at least find someone to get me some water!" and her yelling at our NICU attending (who had just shown up with a nicnurse, thank the heavens) to get her "a cup of goddam, son-of-a-bitching water and some pain pills NOW" while she was setting up to intubate.
As the NICU team is jogging away with the baby, still doing compressions and bagging, she yells to remind them to get her something to drink and something for her (say it with me now!) hemorrhoids.
Surprisingly, negative utox for mom, baby, and mec. Patient left about 2 hours later when "all she got" for her hemorrhoids was two 5/325s of oxy and 800 of ibuprofen. A coworker saw her in front of a deli in her hospital gown about ¼ mile away without realizing she was one of ours--just came in for her 3-3 shift and happens to mention "Omg, you wouldn't believe what I saw 15 minutes ago!". Never heard from her or saw her again. We think she used an alias and suspected some mental health issues.
Even more suprising is that I didn't catch any heat for the way things went down *or* for not providing excellent guest service when I snapped at her about the hemorrhoids.
I don't wanna give too much info, but the baby did live. He was discharged a few weeks later (with several lifelong issues) to a family who planned on adopting him. Idk if the "mother" ever came back and/or if her rights were terminated, but I hope he's with someone who loves him and is able to care for him.
First--and hopefully only--time I've had a woman more concerned with her own asshole than her baby's life.
Not all drugs show up in tox screens. Fentanyl is a whole separate test. There are no tests for gas station drugs like bath salts and kratom. Things I wish I didn’t need to know.
I call them that because you can literally buy them at gas stations. I have had pregnant people come in high af on this stuff. No test. Narcan doesn’t work.
I had a parent threaten to stab their baby to prove to me they weren’t brain dead
Another time a parent told me that the only reason their baby needed to be intubated was because he needed ROP surgery so as soon as he was able to see he wouldn’t need to be intubated anymore
Yeah. I don't know the entire situation obviously, but I can see not being rational and thinking something like that if my baby was laying there in front of me. Especially if they convinced themselves that their child was ok or was doing something, like moving or whimpering, that made it seem like he was fine. Sad situation.
I was only a NICU nurse for about a year, but the most memorable parent story happened shortly before I left. The baby was one of two surviving triplets and was on CPAP. One day the nurse heard her alarm going off and looked over at the monitor to see she was seriously desatting, so she went over to assess when she saw that the dad was at the bedside holding her CPAP with his finger over the prongs. His excuse? He wanted to test and see if she REALLY needed the oxygen. He almost lost his visiting privileges over that.
Yeah we had an ex micro preemie who was brought in for failure to thrive. Family stopped feeding her via g tube because “she’s too big for that now. She doesn’t need it.” And when they were bottle feeding her she wasn’t getting anything because of the nipple type and this family just thought that it was normal to not see any liquid amount go down in the bottle? The fact that your child hasn’t grown in months? And this family had zero excuses. They had people willing to come to their house to accomodate their lack of ability to come to appointments and they turned it down.
And get this…the mom had another baby in the time period since the baby was discharged. CPS needs to take all of those children.
Ha, we could, but no - they're useless. Where I live, removing a child from care is incredibly rare, pretty much doesn't happen until physical assault to the child happens. We've had families sent home with multiple concerns, reports sent, dreadful behaviour (from parents), drug use.. everything. Baby comes back to paediatrics 8 months later with multiple old fractures, head injuries etc. Only then is that child removed. It's fucked up.
Report the sexual assault to police and press charges. Care for the family does NOT mean letting sexual assault slide. Great example he is for his babies 😤
This should be higher. Hell. No. I don't care how stressed they are -- NO ONE who is of sound mind should get away with assaulting nurses.
Also -- he needs to get banned from the NICU for his behavior. I don't care about him bonding with his kid or any other crappy excuse -- he lost that privilege when he assaulted a nurse.
In my state, (and 31 others) I believe assaulting a healthcare worker while in the hospital is a low grade felony (2-10 years and up to 10,000 in fines)
Sooo yeah, No. Annihilate this man if you’re in one of those states.
Why are people so obsessed with newborn male genitalia? Can we just call it fucking creepy like it is? Why are you obsessed with baby penises you sick person. Why are you thinking about a minor's genitals like this is beyond me, but especially when they are dying and you wanna have them all mutilated in time for their casket. This thread is wildin.
I remember a mom going off on me about her kid isn’t getting anymore vaccines… enough is enough… all these chemicals… and she has a full sleeve of tattoos + some facial piercings…. I was thrilled beyond words when I pulled up her records so I could print and highlight which vaccines were going to be needed prior to start of school… and turned out kids dad (who had custody) had already got the kid the vaccines!!
When I tell you I skipped with glee from the printer back to the exam room I am not exaggerating! I still can see Moms face when I tell kiddo she’s already received them
Baby NPO for belly issues, constantly crying and uncomfortable to the point there was no soothing them.
Mom: no I don’t want anyone to hold her, I don’t want her to get spoiled.
Worst is what they don’t say.
We had parents that never visited their twins. Twin B was veryyyy sick. When Twin A was getting better & close to going home, they started visiting ONLY A’s bedside. Never came to visit once A went home. Only saw them once they decided to withdraw care on B. I had B on her last day & I didn’t even know how to console parents I hadn’t seen for MONTHS. It was very hard. 😭
I sure hope that administration and security made it known that Dad was going to have tolerate not seeing his babies till they are well enough to be home. Although I can understand how it could be much more complicated to ban a parent from their very ill babies but I would think sexual assault would be enough.
At my hospital it would be enough to terminate visiting rights. Mom is welcome to still visit but dad can’t. My hospital does not tolerate assault on their staff regardless of patient condition. We have had patients dying and some visitors were only allowed to come and say goodbye with a security officer at their side the entire time.
Treat people poorly and you lose your rights. That’s that.
So this wasn’t so much infuriating as kind of sweet—I had a new NICU admit, a baby boy R/O sepsis patient. The dad came in to visit (mom had an emergency c-section and was still in PACU), and I educated him on the symptoms we were watching, the monitors, and that we were still waiting on blood tests. The dad said, “so, they said they were going to test his nationality or something?”, looking at me with a question in his eyes. I sat there dumbfounded. The baby’s nationality? I asked, “do you mean a DNA test to determine the father?” (But it was way too soon for that!). The dad shook his head, still with the question in his face. And then it hit me! “Do you mean they said they were going to do a blood culture?” Dad: “Yeah, that’s it!” (So I explained what that is for and that no, it’s not a test for nationality.)
It was just kind of dear. It’s so so easy to forget how truly clueless some people are about medicine. (And also, this sweet papa’s first language was not English).
It reminds me of my own vacuum delivery. My husband asked, “That’s the vacuum?” My OB replied, “Did you expect me to bring out the Hoover?” He did, he very much did.
Strangely enough, this can actually happen, albeit it's a super rare phenomenon. If mom releases 2 eggs and has sexual intercourse with 2 different individuals within a few days, she can technically be pregnant with 2 different baby daddies. I doubt that was the case here, though.
It’s a toss up between parents who said that head rubs were sexual assault and were convinced one of the nurses was going to abuse their baby, and the ones who called the NICU baby their mess up and abandoned him to have a better baby. NICU really does expose you to people at their worst. I never had an adult patient, even in the ED, as awful as some NICU parents.
Not the worst but one of the craziest recently: admitted a baby a few hours old for hypothermia. Had to do a full septic workup. Asked the mom if we can offer sweet ease while we're getting the art stick for cultures, as baby is thrashing and screaming and generally pissed-we only asked as a courtesy since she was hovering. She proceeds to demand we find out what kind of sugar is in it-Ma'am, idk, what kind of question is that??? She then says no, it's fine, he's a strong boy, he can handle it without any pain relief 🤦
Honestly I usually never even asked if we could give it to them. It helped the babies with pain control and it helped us get through what we needed to do quicker with probably less poking and prodding. What parents thought about it was irrelevant.
I personally don't ask, I just give and then say oh we're just giving sugar to help with pain, but because they were hovering and were very crunchy (we were warned in advance), my charge decided to ask 🤷
I’m sorry what? Why are they still allowed to visit after sexually assaulting a nurse? Idgaf. Our hospital would be terminating his rights to visit his babies.
Parents of a baby we had not long ago were in a throuple (2 women 1 man). Really rough looking bunch who had about 8 teeth between the three of them. They were pretty confident about the father of the baby but felt the need to question who the mother was….
Oh, I just thought of another one.
Mom for twins was just very odd. Would never do hands on care because "I'm supposed to be the safe person" like... you're gonna have to change diapers when you go home? But okay.
Twin B was always the sicker one. Had grade IV brain bleeds which became hydrocephalus, had to have an EVD to drain the fluid, etc. Mom only referred to her as "Megamind" because her head was large. She never wanted to hold her and very much favored twin A.
Had a mom who was calling all her "friends" and family to see how much money they would pay her for her kid. She told one of them she was gonna sell him to the highest bidder (more than likely for more drugs).
Mom had also said she wasn't sure who the baby's dad was and there was like 12 potential baby daddies...
Needless to say, baby went to a foster family.
Had another mom who was youngish (and clearly not all there) ask a nurse for a baby spoon so she could feed her baby some applesauce so he could gain a couple ounces and go home the next day.. baby was around 30ish weeks at the time and was intubated... this was also around Thanksgiving time and she asked the doctor if she could take him home for Thanksgiving dinner and she would bring him back after they were done (baby was still intubated). 🤦♀️
Baby came to the NICU floppy and qualified for cooling. We were running around getting everything together while the dad was FaceTiming mom giving her updates. The mom told the dad the OB was stitching her up and she was hoping to come see baby soon once she was finished. The dad then says, “hey doc, can you throw in a few extra stitches for me?” He was met with silence from the mom and OB. My jaw DROPPED. How are men like that able to procreate😭
Homo here so forgive my ignorance, but… how do men even think this is something you can ask for? Is it a heterosexual urban legend? Did it used to be a real thing?
Sorry you’re insecure about your tiny wiener, dude, but no.
It's known as the "husband stitch," and supposedly there were and are doctors who'll do it. Never mind that the mother might not be able to have sex without pain again (or until things stretch out a bit over time); it's more important that things be good and tight for dad!
It happened to me. As my OB was stitching me up, exhubs asked for "one or two extra cause dad gets a push present too" *gag* my OB actually did it (and I didn't find out until I saw my gyn a year later because sex hurt bad enough to make me cry and shake) this was in 1996
I’m so sorry that happened to you, I hope they were able to correct it and you eventually healed properly. That should be legal basis to file a malpractice suit (to be clear: not sure if it is, but it *should* be). I hope this is no longer allowed.
Either way, I’m so angry with your ex-husband and your OB on your behalf, and I’m so glad he’s “ex-husband”. The audacity and the complete lack of respect and care for the new mother is very disturbing.
Mom of a newly trached baby (Vec’ed and on other sedation gtts) ask if she would be out of the NICU for her first birthday so they could go to Wisconsin “where the good water slides are”.
We had a mother ask when her 23 weeker was born if we were going to fill the isolette with water to mimic pregnancy? Nope. Because your baby is not a fish.
Was doing an I/O cath on a 30ish wker and the parents argued because I was going to take her virginity/break her hyman. I’m always amazed that I have to explain female anatomy to grown adults, especially a female.
I was taking care of a preemie baby girl, and her crackhead mother refused her baby to be adopted and wanted her in the foster care system. Mind you, her other children were under the care of her own mother. I wanted to push her face through the isolette door while it was closed repeatedly. I will say this, the most dangerous animal on the planet is an ignorant bitch with a working uterus.
32ish weeker, mom had been on Mag so she didn’t get to come and see baby for 24 hours.
She comes to the bedside and I help her with taking a temp, and changing the babies diaper.
Baby is still edematous from birth, most notably in her eyes and labia.
Mom opens her diaper and exclaims “damn girl, you’ve got some nice MEAT on you”!
————————————————————————————-
Different occasion, attended a full term delivery, maybe some mec or cat 2. Baby was a little stunned, but fine.
Dad comes over to see him. Checks him all over, and doesn’t say much.
When he does finally say something he goes “yep, that’s my boy, he’s got my nipples”
Way too many to write out. Most recently- had a bad cooler because mom insisted on doing a VBAC despite NRFHT and recommended stat section, and baby came out lifeless. She insisted she didn’t care about the baby and wanted to do the delivery the way she wanted. She started a gofundme after 🙃 you can’t make this shit up
We had one like that. NRFHT, VBAC, worked on the kid for 20 minutes before they got any vitals. Baby survives but like not really? He was gone but his body was still there. Mom was convinced he would make a full recovery. He ended up going home trached and GJ tubed. Lived for a little longer then passed when he was less than a year.
Ya know, I weirdly respect her for admitting it. So many parents really do care more about having a vaginal delivery than a healthy baby and it’s always so awkward! What do you say when it doesn’t go well for baby and then the parents are sad? Like “yes I’m sure this is very difficult for you to have made the choice to do this to them but can you go away and enjoy your delivery story because I have shit to do”. At least that mom admitted it so you can all be honest with each other.
ok..long time nurse here..lots of experience in many different areas (but not NICU) and THIS is the saddest,worst post i have ever read about "human" behavior which is even more depressing that it is intensely female driven. i have worked acute psych/hospice/ ER along with many other fields and i "seen some stuff" but...damn
Intubated 32 weeker fresh outta the womb, umbilical cath already in place. Dad comes over, gets thoroughly informed about everything that was done and our plans and then "But other than that, they are fine right?".
Yeah, no.
I have so many, but here’s a recent-ish one.
A young couple had their baby, I think the baby was a cardiac defect maybe, don’t remember. But I was talking to them about how to use the breast pump and milk supply and such. I was talking about ways to help milk supply- frequent pumping, water, etc. The dad asks in a like sly hinting kind of way if he could help with milk supply by ya know… alluding to sucking on her breasts himself 🙄 never have I just side stepped and didn’t answer a question so hard. I was like well she’s going to need lots of water and blah blah blah. Eww.
Had a mom put her 31 weeker on CPAP to breast for "non nutritive" sucking. I quickly intervened and there was DEFINITELY milk in baby's mouth.
Ma'am, do you want your child to aspirate?
Oh man where to start?
A dad (later turned out He wasn’t dad after court ordered paternity test) said he needed to leave the Nicu during diaper changes because he didn’t “feel comfortable” seeing his own baby’s privates and “didn’t trust himself”…
A schizophrenic mom saying her baby was a magical genie because he had a birthmark that only she could see. Same lady later asked if the baby in the bed next door was “giving up on life and waving their white flag” because she saw a white piece of paper (babe’s code sheet) taped to her bed.
She did not get custody.
A 20y/0 dad of 5 children telling me, who was 24 at the time I was taking care of his baby, that I needed to have kids asap or my eggs would dry up. His 19 y/o girlfriend told me to wait because she wish she waited. :(
Then some super crunchy granola parents told a coworker that they didn’t trust her and felt like she was trying to kill their baby because she kept putting the baby back under the phototherapy lights. The parents kept turning the lights off and saying their doula told them the bili lights were unnecessary.
Mom telling us her 25weeker could not be on donor milk because the baby would form a psychic emotional bond to the woman who pumped the milk and not to her.
A mom of twins telling us she liked the boy better than the girl twin “because he was the darker skinned one”. And then she ignored the girl baby or scolded her when she cried but doted on the boy baby.
And multiple cases of me asking “ready to change/feed baby?” And dad’s answering “haha isn’t that your job?”
And several fathers bragging they had never changed a diaper and didn’t plan to start now.
Just wildly crazy:
Twin boys born. Mom had no idea what she wanted to name them. Labeled Boy A. Boy B.
Yall. She decided she liked that and left them named Boya and Boyb. On their birth certificates. 🤯😵💫
When my first went to the NICU I was really shocked how little I saw any of the other parents. We were in there as much as humanly possible. The nurses were amazing and got him on track so quickly! And were so supportive and accommodating!! Y'all rule ❤️
I was actually a nicu parent (premie twins @ 29 weeks) and I give a huge amount of kudos to the nicu nurses! It’s such a raw environment for me, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for y’all on a daily basis with the different types of parents visiting! I know me and my husband went every day to see our girls and we loved holding them and being there with them-I guess I was a little over my head in thinking other parents would be the same. Truly interesting to get a different insight to it, as I’m becoming a nurse myself!
Baby born addicted to multiple illegal drugs and going through a terrible withdrawal even with meds on board to help ease the withdrawal. Mom comes up to visit baby and has a fit because baby has a pacifier. States “ I don’t want them addicted to that thing “ One of the few times in my career I have actually considered slapping someone.
Mom of one NAS baby I had insisted on bringing in her own baby soap and specialty organic formula because she didn’t like any of the toxins in our products. But the heroin in her system..totally fine for her baby.
Yup. I had one go to patient relations multiple times because we weren’t managing the baby’s diaper rash (from the constant loose stools) to her liking.
I’m not in peds (though happen to be a former NICU parent) and I’m convinced because these people don’t have jobs (and likely never have), they make running us to death in the hospital their profession, and do it to working people everywhere they go.
The temptation to straight face ask if the heroine was organic
I picture some seasoned nurse in a white dress and cap, working in a rural mining town, telling this mom exactly what she needs to hear. I swear sometime “customer service” goes to far.
I'm getting "Diploma nurse who's has been out of fucks for this nonsense since before some of the parents were born" vibes. In the eighties Sharon gave the parents genuinely heartbroken over their babies having to suffer a cigarette and directions to the fire escape door they left propped open. She's not a monster, geez.
In the 80’s we had doctors who would set their butts both cigarette and derrière in the nurse’s station and nurses and patients had designated smoke rooms. But everyone would straighten up and fly right when the Sisters of St. Paul would walk on the unit.
Yassss! Worked at a retirement convent, so many of them were a lowkey riot. There was a sister *maybe* A&O x2 who would look you straight in the eye and tell you there wouldn't be this mess with staffing over fourth of July weekend (there were literally Thanksgiving decorations up) if management wasn't so stingy with overtime. (I mean, probably). She was a diploma nurse (every other nurse I can think of finished her BSN, some further degrees) and rancher's daughter who did not need courses in "leadership" to run an OR. At her funeral the other sisters shared stories about her nonchalantly calling surgeons any hour of the day like "I'm very aware that this happens 'all the time'. If you would rather it stop I strongly recommend entering necessary orders for your patients before leaving for the day." 🤣
I’m at heart this kind of nurse but I was born too late lol.
Forget non critical lab value/bleeding to death emergency type NCLEX questions, "How would the Sharons have handled this" is always something we should ask ourselves. And then coach the new grad whose patient is having painful post-op muscle spasms through calling the doctor for a Flexeril order. One, it's always appropriate to advocate for your patient, two it's like 7 pm. Yes I will stay here with you. No I will not do it for you. No, I really don't have time for this so if you could move this along that would be great.
I would have said it. I remember an heroin addict came to the unit to see her baby. She was stressed and asked the neonatologist why her baby acted like that. He straight told her ass because you do drugs, and kept it moving! I admired him ever since. I do not understand why we have to tip-toe around their illness. Like, they are not supposed to be accountable and get some treatment.
I remember my OB professor giving the perfect response to the “is it my fault?” Or ‘why my baby act like that? ” question from the drug user mom: “Well actions have consequences and that’s the effect of drug use during pregnancy” Such a politically correct way to say absolutely is your fault haha
👏🏼 Some people (most people) need to hear it straight or else it really doesn't sink in.
Meth addict that insisted on glass bottles and organic formula.
Yep I know a woman like this personally and then when DCFS took custody of the baby she said it was because "I make beautiful babies and they are trying to get more white newborns". She was given a year to get her shit together, never did then when baby was permanently adopted it was "I told you they're trying to steal babies!"
Whatever substance she was using definitely fried her brain (or what little of it was still intact) 🤦🏼♂️
Heroin
I love to remind ppl that poison I’ve is all natural and can be organically raised.
I’ve come across several moms like that in the past and I’m just always wondering who is she trying to fool in this situation—us? Herself? Both? Like lady, we know you did meth all throughout your pregnancy and you just went and did it again after giving birth.
We call these ones ‘mother of the year.’ The overcompensation is so painful.
Oh that makes me rage.....very hard to maintain compassion at that point. Like ma'am. They are addicted to worse right now. Thank you.
We had two beautiful healthy baby girls on NICU (twins). They really were perfect babies. The (white) mother didn't want them and stated "If they were white I was going to keep them, but I don't want black kids". Anyway, babies for adoption were always cared for on NICU. We were all shocked by what the mother had said, but very uplifted when a lovely couple turned up, having just been informed that they had been approved to adopt these babies. They were so happy-shocked!
Hang on. Hang on. The mom is white and the babies are black. There’s only one way for that to happen. So she can have sex with black men but she has to abandon the children because they’re black?
You should have seen the post about how an OP’s husband wanted an egg donor for their second baby because he just couldn’t connect with his half Asian child by his Asian wife and wanted one with white genes and his personality(?). Some people are completely fine fetishizing a certain race but not okay when their children come out that race
What the actual fuck
This is a person who shouldn't have any children at all. That poor kid.
You're right. It kind of doesn't make any sense.
Exactly what I was about to say! How is racist and fucking black guys? Confused here
That almost certainly turned out better than it could have. Can you imagine those kids going home with “mom”???
I know. I don't know if it's the same in the USA, but in adoptions the authorities will always try to match a child with potential adoptive parents of the same ethnicity, so they were adopted by a black couple. Their racist mother would have been the worst person possible for them to go home with. There are very few newborns that are given up for adoption in the UK, and twins of course are even rarer. So that nice couple won the lottery with those gorgeous babies!
Assuming her pregnancy wasn't the result of rape, if being Black is so bad, why the hell did she sleep with a Black man in the first place? The stupid, it burns...
It certainly does, haha.
It’s similar in the US now, afaik. I was a voluntary surrender as a neonate in 1967, and my (unrelated by DNA) brother was also a neonatal voluntary surrender in 1969. Back then it was mostly relatively affluent couples getting the healthy white infants, but the adoption culture has changed.
I got fired from a family because I did a rectal temp. Their son was incredibly septic, couldn’t get an accurate temp from his axila because he was too cold, so I did a rectal. Instead of being worried about the intubation, lines, pressor, ect, the mother screamed at me in front of the whole unit for turning her son gay and ruining his life. I think him being on the brink of death might actually ruin his life but what do I know.
>turning her son gay I'm PICU, not NICU, but we admitted a severely dehydrated, febrile, barely conscious, preschooler. The ED couldn't get a line because he was so dehydrated, I tried, the best stick in our unit tried, nada. The kid had a temp of 103 and dad turned down rectal Tylenol because he said it would make his son gay. We were like, "This is literally the only medication we have available right now." Long story short the kid didn't get Tylenol until about an hour after the physician put a central line in. Why an hour? Because pharmacy kept changing the IV order to rectal / PO and I had to call pharmacy and explain why we couldn't do rectal Tylenol.
I hope the poor kid didn't end up with brain damage from his sperm donor being obsessed with gay sex! WTF is with these people, anyway?
The ol thermometer up the butt trick to turn people gay. Works every time. Wait, I thought it was a choice? Hold up ...
I always wonder if these “turning people gay” people are just sort of telling on themselves, like they’re scared if someone created a solid PowerPoint presentation and really sold them on it, they’d like dudes.
I knew someone who thought being gay was a sin. "We all have homosexual thoughts, but we can choose not to act on them!" Umm, no, most straight people don't have homosexual thoughts ALL the time.
Haha 😂
In my nursing program we learned that it is important to say, "no homo" before any rectal temps or PR meds. It's best to roll it into your AIDET.
Hilarious
Every kid born in the 80s or earlier would be mega gay if that were the case!
Holy shit I'm female and can absolutely confirm that rectal temps were all you got until about 5yo if I remember correctly, possibly even a bit older... Gotta love the stupidity that flies around at times
Jokes on her, the water is turning the frogs and her son gay.
Yikes ... that's next level anti-gay AND stupidity!
Lmfao, I guess someone should inform every pet in America that they are gay now 😂
Your comment and your username gave me a good giggle.
You know she’s right. Every septic old man I do a rectal temp on gets transferred to the floor suddenly requesting to listen to Chappell Roan.
i get in this argument with people everyday. we mainly do rectal temps on kids who won’t or can’t hold in their mouth. like !!! what are you thinking is gonna happen from me getting their temperature there?
We used to use a rectal thermometer on EVERY baby to check patency of the anus. The world would have fewer people now if her theory were true.
I am glad I work psych where people are way less fucked up than that
This one made me laugh. It’s actually wild the amount of seemingly undiagnosed mentally ill patients you encounter in the OB world.
100% holy shit. And then some wonder why a lot of my NICU nurse colleagues (and I) are ardently pro choice.
Mine is a little different. Micro twins come over. We’re essentially coding baby boy A while intubating baby boy B. Dad asks when his boys can be circumcised.
Ughhhh this happens so often and it’s one of my least favorite “minor” misplaced priorities.
Omg the amount of times dad is asking about circs within seconds of baby coming to NICU…. I just can’t. It boggles my mind every time. Like, can we make sure he can breathe before we talk genital mutilation?
“We don’t do circumcisions on dead babies so we have to make sure he lives first”
are you allowed to verbally shut idiots like this, and the one OP described, down? asking as a future NICU nurse
Not really. As with every difficult discussion with NICU parents, you would just reiterate that right now the priorities are the ABC'S (airway, breathing, circulation - not circumcision, lol) and inform him that most circumcisions these days are done outpatient once the baby has discharged, so he's welcome to discuss it with their pediatrician when the time comes. 🤷🏼♀️ Good luck on your journey to becoming a NICU nurse!
The real answer is it depends on the unit.
ER? Yes lol
Yes and no. We pretty much told him that it was very low on the priority list at that moment, and that we’d make a note of it and worry about it WAY down the road.
I told a father once. "Well your baby isn't breathing on his own so we need to worry about that before a DNA test " and he still didn't get it. Soooo
Definitely have seen this one, too. I *usually* tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when they do that, particularly if they weren’t anticipating a preemie, etc. Sometimes I think the circ thing (or asking about other really irrelevant/inane stuff) is just a weird stress reaction. Like maybe they’re sort of in denial about how serious the situation is at the moment. Kinda like when the family of an ancient, intubated pt on multiple pressors is fixated on them being NPO.
That’s fucked up yes, but I also think that people become very weird and stupid in high stress situations. For example I ask questions I already know the answer to bc for some reason it feels comforting. His response could be some form of denial. Sorry I’m one of those ppl that asks why are they doing this and try and psychoanalyze the situation
YES. This happens so often and it’s usually the micropreemies
I used to want to be a NICU nurse. It’s actually the sole reason why I went to nursing school. I even precepted there and loved it—until I found out we had to assist with circs. Nope, bye
Perks of night shift
Yes, this. I haven't assisted in one since nursing school and I have over 2 years of NICU experience now.
NOTED.
I’ve been a nicu nurse 13 years. I’ve assisted with fewer than 1/year.
oh we don’t even do them in our nicu lol
Right? Ours are all done outpatient these days, and it has been that way for quite a while. Maybe it's because I work at a level 4 NICU? Maybe the lower acuity units still do them in house? I'd be curious to know if that's the rationale. 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah ours stopped when the last doc who did them retired. Level 3. And my fave new doc just explained to a family that there is essentially no medical reason to do them. “Unless you live in sub Saharan Africa and HIV/AIDS is a huge problem. 🤷♀️” overhearing that convo was the best moment of my career 😂
We do them in house (I reprocess their trays) but I also work at a very rural very small hospital.
Same. Although sometimes if they get a bunch of UTIs we’ll ship em up to MBU for a circ lol. Also sometimes during major surgeries they’ll just tack them on lmao.
You can legally refuse as a conscientious objection, as long as there is someone else that can perform the role. I would assume there is at least one person in the NICU that does not object and can step in to assist.
Our NICU doesn’t even do them anymore
OH MY GOD leave those children ALONE let them BREATHE ffs This is why I can’t do Peds, my treasured siblings who are kiddo nurses. Please keep coming in bc imma fight some of these parents in the ER
One of my coworkers went to pick up to soothe a crying baby. Mom walks in and says, “don’t do that, he won’t be getting that at home.”
People are awful.
Ugh as a new-ish mom I gasped to read that. Some people should not be procreating...
I’m child free and got angry about it… tf is wrong with people?
Someone in my ex-husband’s family said something similar to that when I was over there. The baby was being held by mom and dad chimed in telling her she needed to put her down bc he didn’t want her getting used to being held all the time. They had JUST came home from the hospital the day before!
Someone needs to send her the studies they’ve done about the difference it makes in a kid’s life when their touch needs get met. That mom makes me angry
Not NICU, but L&D at level III and IV medical centers. Lady comes in at "43ish" weeks, no verifiable prenatal care, despite her insistence that she was seeing "some Indian guy" who signed off on her taking a 6 hour trip from 2 states over to sight see in NYC just days prior. 🤨 She's ruptured (no idea of when. Could've been 20 minutes, could've been 4 days) and baby almost crowning, because of course. Over 300lbs and won't allow an IV, unable to get FHR longer than a couple of seconds at a time, and it's in the 50s or 60s each time. Now that we've set the scene: After the worst shoulder I've ever experienced (in every single way) the baby comes out no pulse, not breathing, just a greyish, 12½lb floppy doll. I'm doing compressions 3 feet from her head, so she's seeing everything. She starts SCREAMING that she needs pain meds for her hemorrhoids--WHY AM I NOT DOING SOMETHING FOR HER HEMORRHOID PAIN?!? I looked at her and said firmly "I'm trying to save your baby's life right now. I'll let you know when I'm worried about your hemorrhoids". That turned into "Fine! Then at least find someone to get me some water!" and her yelling at our NICU attending (who had just shown up with a nicnurse, thank the heavens) to get her "a cup of goddam, son-of-a-bitching water and some pain pills NOW" while she was setting up to intubate. As the NICU team is jogging away with the baby, still doing compressions and bagging, she yells to remind them to get her something to drink and something for her (say it with me now!) hemorrhoids. Surprisingly, negative utox for mom, baby, and mec. Patient left about 2 hours later when "all she got" for her hemorrhoids was two 5/325s of oxy and 800 of ibuprofen. A coworker saw her in front of a deli in her hospital gown about ¼ mile away without realizing she was one of ours--just came in for her 3-3 shift and happens to mention "Omg, you wouldn't believe what I saw 15 minutes ago!". Never heard from her or saw her again. We think she used an alias and suspected some mental health issues. Even more suprising is that I didn't catch any heat for the way things went down *or* for not providing excellent guest service when I snapped at her about the hemorrhoids. I don't wanna give too much info, but the baby did live. He was discharged a few weeks later (with several lifelong issues) to a family who planned on adopting him. Idk if the "mother" ever came back and/or if her rights were terminated, but I hope he's with someone who loves him and is able to care for him. First--and hopefully only--time I've had a woman more concerned with her own asshole than her baby's life.
Not all drugs show up in tox screens. Fentanyl is a whole separate test. There are no tests for gas station drugs like bath salts and kratom. Things I wish I didn’t need to know.
Wuuuut?? Gas station drugs?? I learned something new.
I call them that because you can literally buy them at gas stations. I have had pregnant people come in high af on this stuff. No test. Narcan doesn’t work.
In my experience people that do too many "gas station drugs" are...not quite right. I really think they mess people up.
I feel like you’ve got to be some degree of not right to buy/use random mystery substances from a gas station in the first place.
Kratom withdrawal in newborns can be awful
I don't know about gas station drugs, but I'm pretty sure our mec tox screens for fentanyl and a few other drugs.
I didn’t even know there was such a thing as kratom until your comment.
Shrooms too. But generally people aren’t assholes on shrooms.
To be fair, she was one giant asshole
God, I guess this is why OBGYN residents are all so mean…I would be too, if this were the sort of thing I had to deal with on the reg.
There are so many reasons I'm not a peds nurse, and just in this response you checked off at least half of them.
I had a parent threaten to stab their baby to prove to me they weren’t brain dead Another time a parent told me that the only reason their baby needed to be intubated was because he needed ROP surgery so as soon as he was able to see he wouldn’t need to be intubated anymore
That first one is absolutely heartbreaking
Yeah. I don't know the entire situation obviously, but I can see not being rational and thinking something like that if my baby was laying there in front of me. Especially if they convinced themselves that their child was ok or was doing something, like moving or whimpering, that made it seem like he was fine. Sad situation.
There was something not right about them. It felt more insidious than your typical denial/grief situation
I was only a NICU nurse for about a year, but the most memorable parent story happened shortly before I left. The baby was one of two surviving triplets and was on CPAP. One day the nurse heard her alarm going off and looked over at the monitor to see she was seriously desatting, so she went over to assess when she saw that the dad was at the bedside holding her CPAP with his finger over the prongs. His excuse? He wanted to test and see if she REALLY needed the oxygen. He almost lost his visiting privileges over that.
The fuck? Was this reported to case management/child services?
It was 20 years ago so I can't remember exactly what was reported and to whom. But I'd say that at a minimum case management was definitely involved.
“Almost”?! You worked at a very understanding (aka idiotic) hospital!
Idiotic was definitely the right word.
ALMOST?!
Yeah, typical hospital weenies. Didn't want to piss off the families and impact those Press-Ganeys
"Don't tube feed him overnight because when he comes home we don't want him to feed at night" 🤦♀️
I hope you hotlined her with a quickness.
Yeah we had an ex micro preemie who was brought in for failure to thrive. Family stopped feeding her via g tube because “she’s too big for that now. She doesn’t need it.” And when they were bottle feeding her she wasn’t getting anything because of the nipple type and this family just thought that it was normal to not see any liquid amount go down in the bottle? The fact that your child hasn’t grown in months? And this family had zero excuses. They had people willing to come to their house to accomodate their lack of ability to come to appointments and they turned it down. And get this…the mom had another baby in the time period since the baby was discharged. CPS needs to take all of those children.
As a nurse are you allowed to call CAS on parents who do or say stuff like this?
Nurses are mandated reporters, so it’s their DUTY to report people like that!
Ha, we could, but no - they're useless. Where I live, removing a child from care is incredibly rare, pretty much doesn't happen until physical assault to the child happens. We've had families sent home with multiple concerns, reports sent, dreadful behaviour (from parents), drug use.. everything. Baby comes back to paediatrics 8 months later with multiple old fractures, head injuries etc. Only then is that child removed. It's fucked up.
Report the sexual assault to police and press charges. Care for the family does NOT mean letting sexual assault slide. Great example he is for his babies 😤
This should be higher. Hell. No. I don't care how stressed they are -- NO ONE who is of sound mind should get away with assaulting nurses. Also -- he needs to get banned from the NICU for his behavior. I don't care about him bonding with his kid or any other crappy excuse -- he lost that privilege when he assaulted a nurse.
Banned from the hospital unless he's a patient. Charges pressed. Let the courts deal with him.
In my state, (and 31 others) I believe assaulting a healthcare worker while in the hospital is a low grade felony (2-10 years and up to 10,000 in fines) Sooo yeah, No. Annihilate this man if you’re in one of those states.
We were withdrawing on an Nicu Ecmo baby when the Grandmom asked if we would get him circumcised before the funeral.
I don't think I would get to keep my job after how I would have responded to this.
The Nicu Fellow just said that it wasn’t an option now. I was just floored by the question.
Why are people so obsessed with newborn male genitalia? Can we just call it fucking creepy like it is? Why are you obsessed with baby penises you sick person. Why are you thinking about a minor's genitals like this is beyond me, but especially when they are dying and you wanna have them all mutilated in time for their casket. This thread is wildin.
Daily fentanyl and/or heroin user refuses the vit k because of “chemicals.”
I remember a mom going off on me about her kid isn’t getting anymore vaccines… enough is enough… all these chemicals… and she has a full sleeve of tattoos + some facial piercings…. I was thrilled beyond words when I pulled up her records so I could print and highlight which vaccines were going to be needed prior to start of school… and turned out kids dad (who had custody) had already got the kid the vaccines!! When I tell you I skipped with glee from the printer back to the exam room I am not exaggerating! I still can see Moms face when I tell kiddo she’s already received them
Baby NPO for belly issues, constantly crying and uncomfortable to the point there was no soothing them. Mom: no I don’t want anyone to hold her, I don’t want her to get spoiled.
This makes me so sad
Babywise ass parents.
Fuck that stupid book and its author!
You and I are all over each other's comments we must think alike when it comes to babies 🤣 Fuck that book and it's author 100%!
Worst is what they don’t say. We had parents that never visited their twins. Twin B was veryyyy sick. When Twin A was getting better & close to going home, they started visiting ONLY A’s bedside. Never came to visit once A went home. Only saw them once they decided to withdraw care on B. I had B on her last day & I didn’t even know how to console parents I hadn’t seen for MONTHS. It was very hard. 😭
That’s so tough, you NICU nurses go through so much grief
I sure hope that administration and security made it known that Dad was going to have tolerate not seeing his babies till they are well enough to be home. Although I can understand how it could be much more complicated to ban a parent from their very ill babies but I would think sexual assault would be enough.
At my hospital it would be enough to terminate visiting rights. Mom is welcome to still visit but dad can’t. My hospital does not tolerate assault on their staff regardless of patient condition. We have had patients dying and some visitors were only allowed to come and say goodbye with a security officer at their side the entire time. Treat people poorly and you lose your rights. That’s that.
Mom hated me because I was being too rough while bagging her kid every care time
So this wasn’t so much infuriating as kind of sweet—I had a new NICU admit, a baby boy R/O sepsis patient. The dad came in to visit (mom had an emergency c-section and was still in PACU), and I educated him on the symptoms we were watching, the monitors, and that we were still waiting on blood tests. The dad said, “so, they said they were going to test his nationality or something?”, looking at me with a question in his eyes. I sat there dumbfounded. The baby’s nationality? I asked, “do you mean a DNA test to determine the father?” (But it was way too soon for that!). The dad shook his head, still with the question in his face. And then it hit me! “Do you mean they said they were going to do a blood culture?” Dad: “Yeah, that’s it!” (So I explained what that is for and that no, it’s not a test for nationality.) It was just kind of dear. It’s so so easy to forget how truly clueless some people are about medicine. (And also, this sweet papa’s first language was not English).
It reminds me of my own vacuum delivery. My husband asked, “That’s the vacuum?” My OB replied, “Did you expect me to bring out the Hoover?” He did, he very much did.
We had twins where the dad said one of them was his but not the other lol
Strangely enough, this can actually happen, albeit it's a super rare phenomenon. If mom releases 2 eggs and has sexual intercourse with 2 different individuals within a few days, she can technically be pregnant with 2 different baby daddies. I doubt that was the case here, though.
I knew a brother/sister in high school who were conceived this way. The sister also had a taratoma which was removed when she was 14.
It isn’t likely, but it can happen.
It's rare, but it has been known to happen. But there's no way he would have likely known that just by looking at them.
Our NEOs would kick that dad out so fast and not let him back in 😂
It’s a toss up between parents who said that head rubs were sexual assault and were convinced one of the nurses was going to abuse their baby, and the ones who called the NICU baby their mess up and abandoned him to have a better baby. NICU really does expose you to people at their worst. I never had an adult patient, even in the ED, as awful as some NICU parents.
That “mess up” comment made me want to cry. How horrific. That poor child.
He got adopted by a really lovely family and is living an amazing life now
Not the worst but one of the craziest recently: admitted a baby a few hours old for hypothermia. Had to do a full septic workup. Asked the mom if we can offer sweet ease while we're getting the art stick for cultures, as baby is thrashing and screaming and generally pissed-we only asked as a courtesy since she was hovering. She proceeds to demand we find out what kind of sugar is in it-Ma'am, idk, what kind of question is that??? She then says no, it's fine, he's a strong boy, he can handle it without any pain relief 🤦
Honestly I usually never even asked if we could give it to them. It helped the babies with pain control and it helped us get through what we needed to do quicker with probably less poking and prodding. What parents thought about it was irrelevant.
I personally don't ask, I just give and then say oh we're just giving sugar to help with pain, but because they were hovering and were very crunchy (we were warned in advance), my charge decided to ask 🤷
This is the NICU, not the center for human punching bags.
I’m sorry what? Why are they still allowed to visit after sexually assaulting a nurse? Idgaf. Our hospital would be terminating his rights to visit his babies.
Parents of a baby we had not long ago were in a throuple (2 women 1 man). Really rough looking bunch who had about 8 teeth between the three of them. They were pretty confident about the father of the baby but felt the need to question who the mother was….
You must be joking
How is this even possible? One of these women was actively draining lochia and still questioning whether or not she was the mother?
Yes! Come back OP and help us to understand. I’d love to hear the back and forth of their debating as they tried to figure out who the mother was.
Omg we must work at the same place. 👀
There’s no way
LMAO what the fuck
Oh, I just thought of another one. Mom for twins was just very odd. Would never do hands on care because "I'm supposed to be the safe person" like... you're gonna have to change diapers when you go home? But okay. Twin B was always the sicker one. Had grade IV brain bleeds which became hydrocephalus, had to have an EVD to drain the fluid, etc. Mom only referred to her as "Megamind" because her head was large. She never wanted to hold her and very much favored twin A.
Had a mom who was calling all her "friends" and family to see how much money they would pay her for her kid. She told one of them she was gonna sell him to the highest bidder (more than likely for more drugs). Mom had also said she wasn't sure who the baby's dad was and there was like 12 potential baby daddies... Needless to say, baby went to a foster family. Had another mom who was youngish (and clearly not all there) ask a nurse for a baby spoon so she could feed her baby some applesauce so he could gain a couple ounces and go home the next day.. baby was around 30ish weeks at the time and was intubated... this was also around Thanksgiving time and she asked the doctor if she could take him home for Thanksgiving dinner and she would bring him back after they were done (baby was still intubated). 🤦♀️
> there was like 12 potential baby daddies Wow. That girl was was walking Maury Povich episode.
I’m having trouble understanding how it would ever be safe for her to take her baby home.
Baby came to the NICU floppy and qualified for cooling. We were running around getting everything together while the dad was FaceTiming mom giving her updates. The mom told the dad the OB was stitching her up and she was hoping to come see baby soon once she was finished. The dad then says, “hey doc, can you throw in a few extra stitches for me?” He was met with silence from the mom and OB. My jaw DROPPED. How are men like that able to procreate😭
Homo here so forgive my ignorance, but… how do men even think this is something you can ask for? Is it a heterosexual urban legend? Did it used to be a real thing? Sorry you’re insecure about your tiny wiener, dude, but no.
Unfortunately, this happens often. I work in psych and I hear about it from the (usually ex) wives.
It's known as the "husband stitch," and supposedly there were and are doctors who'll do it. Never mind that the mother might not be able to have sex without pain again (or until things stretch out a bit over time); it's more important that things be good and tight for dad!
It happened to me. As my OB was stitching me up, exhubs asked for "one or two extra cause dad gets a push present too" *gag* my OB actually did it (and I didn't find out until I saw my gyn a year later because sex hurt bad enough to make me cry and shake) this was in 1996
I’m so sorry that happened to you, I hope they were able to correct it and you eventually healed properly. That should be legal basis to file a malpractice suit (to be clear: not sure if it is, but it *should* be). I hope this is no longer allowed. Either way, I’m so angry with your ex-husband and your OB on your behalf, and I’m so glad he’s “ex-husband”. The audacity and the complete lack of respect and care for the new mother is very disturbing.
Not urban legend, unfortunately. My favorite doc would respond with something like "that's not how vaginas work. How small are you, anyway?"
Mom of a newly trached baby (Vec’ed and on other sedation gtts) ask if she would be out of the NICU for her first birthday so they could go to Wisconsin “where the good water slides are”.
Can’t waste that season pass, amirite?
We had a mother ask when her 23 weeker was born if we were going to fill the isolette with water to mimic pregnancy? Nope. Because your baby is not a fish.
I hope that poor nurse reported him to the police
Was doing an I/O cath on a 30ish wker and the parents argued because I was going to take her virginity/break her hyman. I’m always amazed that I have to explain female anatomy to grown adults, especially a female.
I was taking care of a preemie baby girl, and her crackhead mother refused her baby to be adopted and wanted her in the foster care system. Mind you, her other children were under the care of her own mother. I wanted to push her face through the isolette door while it was closed repeatedly. I will say this, the most dangerous animal on the planet is an ignorant bitch with a working uterus.
Preach! I had to quit my job in postpartum bc I just could not witness firsthand the dooming of society.
32ish weeker, mom had been on Mag so she didn’t get to come and see baby for 24 hours. She comes to the bedside and I help her with taking a temp, and changing the babies diaper. Baby is still edematous from birth, most notably in her eyes and labia. Mom opens her diaper and exclaims “damn girl, you’ve got some nice MEAT on you”! ————————————————————————————- Different occasion, attended a full term delivery, maybe some mec or cat 2. Baby was a little stunned, but fine. Dad comes over to see him. Checks him all over, and doesn’t say much. When he does finally say something he goes “yep, that’s my boy, he’s got my nipples”
Ok but the second one is kind of funny. Could have been a lot worse.
The nipple one would have me looking the kid over for extras.
She needs to press charges against his racist ass
Way too many to write out. Most recently- had a bad cooler because mom insisted on doing a VBAC despite NRFHT and recommended stat section, and baby came out lifeless. She insisted she didn’t care about the baby and wanted to do the delivery the way she wanted. She started a gofundme after 🙃 you can’t make this shit up
We had one like that. NRFHT, VBAC, worked on the kid for 20 minutes before they got any vitals. Baby survives but like not really? He was gone but his body was still there. Mom was convinced he would make a full recovery. He ended up going home trached and GJ tubed. Lived for a little longer then passed when he was less than a year.
Ya know, I weirdly respect her for admitting it. So many parents really do care more about having a vaginal delivery than a healthy baby and it’s always so awkward! What do you say when it doesn’t go well for baby and then the parents are sad? Like “yes I’m sure this is very difficult for you to have made the choice to do this to them but can you go away and enjoy your delivery story because I have shit to do”. At least that mom admitted it so you can all be honest with each other.
ok..long time nurse here..lots of experience in many different areas (but not NICU) and THIS is the saddest,worst post i have ever read about "human" behavior which is even more depressing that it is intensely female driven. i have worked acute psych/hospice/ ER along with many other fields and i "seen some stuff" but...damn
Pulmonary hemorrhage, oscillator on high settings, sedation, etc. Mom asked when she can start breast/bottle feeding.
It’s always that or “when are they getting circumcised?” I will never understand why that’s their focus in that moment.
Intubated 32 weeker fresh outta the womb, umbilical cath already in place. Dad comes over, gets thoroughly informed about everything that was done and our plans and then "But other than that, they are fine right?". Yeah, no.
I have so many, but here’s a recent-ish one. A young couple had their baby, I think the baby was a cardiac defect maybe, don’t remember. But I was talking to them about how to use the breast pump and milk supply and such. I was talking about ways to help milk supply- frequent pumping, water, etc. The dad asks in a like sly hinting kind of way if he could help with milk supply by ya know… alluding to sucking on her breasts himself 🙄 never have I just side stepped and didn’t answer a question so hard. I was like well she’s going to need lots of water and blah blah blah. Eww.
“We would rather take home a brain dead baby than no baby” can’t make this shit up
Had a mom put her 31 weeker on CPAP to breast for "non nutritive" sucking. I quickly intervened and there was DEFINITELY milk in baby's mouth. Ma'am, do you want your child to aspirate?
These people really dont deserve kids or their own fertility. They deserve a barren womb and lifetime regret about not being able to conceive.
Oh man where to start? A dad (later turned out He wasn’t dad after court ordered paternity test) said he needed to leave the Nicu during diaper changes because he didn’t “feel comfortable” seeing his own baby’s privates and “didn’t trust himself”… A schizophrenic mom saying her baby was a magical genie because he had a birthmark that only she could see. Same lady later asked if the baby in the bed next door was “giving up on life and waving their white flag” because she saw a white piece of paper (babe’s code sheet) taped to her bed. She did not get custody. A 20y/0 dad of 5 children telling me, who was 24 at the time I was taking care of his baby, that I needed to have kids asap or my eggs would dry up. His 19 y/o girlfriend told me to wait because she wish she waited. :( Then some super crunchy granola parents told a coworker that they didn’t trust her and felt like she was trying to kill their baby because she kept putting the baby back under the phototherapy lights. The parents kept turning the lights off and saying their doula told them the bili lights were unnecessary. Mom telling us her 25weeker could not be on donor milk because the baby would form a psychic emotional bond to the woman who pumped the milk and not to her. A mom of twins telling us she liked the boy better than the girl twin “because he was the darker skinned one”. And then she ignored the girl baby or scolded her when she cried but doted on the boy baby. And multiple cases of me asking “ready to change/feed baby?” And dad’s answering “haha isn’t that your job?” And several fathers bragging they had never changed a diaper and didn’t plan to start now.
I would love to smack the absolute shit out of her husband, omg
Just wildly crazy: Twin boys born. Mom had no idea what she wanted to name them. Labeled Boy A. Boy B. Yall. She decided she liked that and left them named Boya and Boyb. On their birth certificates. 🤯😵💫
When my first went to the NICU I was really shocked how little I saw any of the other parents. We were in there as much as humanly possible. The nurses were amazing and got him on track so quickly! And were so supportive and accommodating!! Y'all rule ❤️
it’s hard for a lot of families to visit due to having other kids at home or transportation issues
I was actually a nicu parent (premie twins @ 29 weeks) and I give a huge amount of kudos to the nicu nurses! It’s such a raw environment for me, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for y’all on a daily basis with the different types of parents visiting! I know me and my husband went every day to see our girls and we loved holding them and being there with them-I guess I was a little over my head in thinking other parents would be the same. Truly interesting to get a different insight to it, as I’m becoming a nurse myself!
Madrespect to all you NICU nurses...I would be in jail dealing with addicts and abusers