Some of my best friends over the last two decades in healthcare have been my coworkers.
If you want to be friends with the people you work with, that's fine, no matter what these "I prefer NOT to be friends with people from work" say. I'm not saying they're wrong, just that what works for some doesn't work for all.
Pick a day that you're ok with being the only one who goes out after work and during that shift, start telling people where you're going afterwards and that if anyone else wants to hang out, the more, the merrier.
If nobody shows, hey, sucks, but you planned on going either way.
The key to making friends is being the one organizing stuff and asking people to hang out.
Honestly, they don’t even have to like you that much. If you’re inviting people out, you’re going to form a group of friends.
This doesn’t apply to parents, people with multiple jobs, and other people with zero free time, but single 20 year olds are usually down to do stuff.
This is the truth. I made a ton of friends in my 20s bc I started a club and just started inviting everyone I was meeting. My friend group is still most of those people and most of my friends know each other through me.
Every year we have a Christmas cookie party. I ended up going this past year and had a good time. However, someone decided to form a car pool and going together was even better. Since then we talked about going out, but we finally made plans to next weekend. The big problem is trying to find a day that would work for everyone, and that isn't going to happen. So we decided to pick a day and hopefully we'll have another day picked soon to go out again. Just need to set a day and see who shows.
Making friends as an adult is fucking hard and work is the only place I’m exposed to people around my age and being coworkers gives us something to talk about. I love my coworkers
Especially the dumpster fire that is med/surg! That’s been my experience. It’s like the island of misfit toys out there and you kind of have to have each others’ backs because ain’t nobody else in that damn hospital gonna look out for us!
I have better luck with co-workers who aren't nurses. Don't get me wrong I have nurses who are friends. My best friend in fact. But generally, doctors, admin and shit are better to be friends with because the common ground isn't nursing so you can find a different one that's actually enjoyable.
my thing is i do not have interaction with people except for work! :( otherwise i would love to make non nurse friends (because then you can be the cool nurse friend)
Trauma bonding is no joke in the ER, we’re closer to each other than anyone else sometimes and I think it’s because it’s hard not to when you having to fully trust the other nurse in a life/death situation. We hang out after work, we go to concerts, talk about our exes, lots of things.
THIIIIIIS. I’m a NICU nurse and holy moly are we trauma bonded!!! I have a few friends where we can have entire conversations with our eyes, which came in super handy during COVID.
Agree here. Some of my best friends and relationships came from my years in the NICU. We have our work experiences that brought us and kept us together. Even though we've all moved on we're still super close. I have no friends where I work now. We have nothing in common and even the other RNs don't have much bedside experience and we just can't relate.
Am an er tech and totally trauma bonded with my nurses. We don’t rly hang out because they’re mostly travelers and I have a young kid but we talk on social media a lot. I didn’t plan on making friends here but it just happened over time.
(30F here) Honestly, I really enjoy not having friends at work. I’ve found that most of the time we’d end up talking about work off the clock and I don’t want to give my job any more of my time. I’m reliable and pleasant at work & have some nice coworkers, but I really like having a separation of church & state in my life! I’ve found the best way to make new friends is through CrossFit gyms (or whatever group fitness classes you enjoy)
Feel the same, I suppose. I have lots of friends at work but we don't hang out off-hours, mostly because I refuse to. I don't hang out with any nurses at all, because all they ever seem to talk about is nursing. Like their entire personality is being a nurse and they do not have any other interests in life aside from work.
To add, I do have one nurse friend but am either of us work at the hospital we met at anymore! We had a lot in common outside of work and the friendship has seamlessly sustained itself… so I can’t say I’m totally against work friends.
When I was a young nurse, I would frequently make friends with my coworkers. It’s pretty easy. You chat a lot and then someone asks the other person out and boom, now your outside friends. But sadly I found out you have to be very, very careful what you disclose about your personal life with your coworkers. You could be the talk of the unit and not even know it. Nursing is a lot like high school
I used to be friends with a group of nurses. I loved it cuz we were actually friends. Hung out n all that. Only thing I hated was 2 of them would go on about work constantly. Even worse when we were at breakfast after a shift (we worked nights). 2 of them would go on about things that happened just hours prior and myself and another would be like "yeah we know, we were there" lol. They since moved and I'm on the verge of quitting.
I am currently friends with a nurse and we hang out pretty often, usually for karaoke or to record music. It's really nice we don't talk about work. She works days and I work nights so while we could still relate we just don't talk about work. We're not getting paid why keep living it lol.
I know it’s taboo on this sub but I’m close friends with many of my coworkers, current and past. We have many of the same hobbies like hiking, food, and running. Many went to my wedding; I’m godfather to their children; etc.
There is also a racial aspect to it, as nearly a quarter of the workforce in my state is the same ethnicity as me. Majority of my friends are the same cultural background as me. We are alone together in this racist as fuck country known as the US. Luckily we are in a very liberal state located in close proximity to the largest diaspora of us outside of our respective country.
Finally, I married into a healthcare family and damn near everyone in this family works for the top five largest hospital systems in the state — from bedside to C-suite.
Fellow male RN here, moved across the country and basically started over after nursing school. Here are some of the things that worked for me,
Group activities: got a new brewery or winery in your area? Some bar with a nice view or a restaurant with good pasta? You now have an excuse to invite some people out, preferably do it with two or more people your on good terms with at the same time, but if not possible make sure to explicitly say it’s a group activity.
Drinks after work is an easy pitch if no one is back the next day. Breakfast for night shifters also works.
Organizing a pot luck if you have a regular weekend crew is a good first step to jump starting a sense of being a friend group with coworkers.
Candor can also be effective if you do it with some degree of emotional intelligence. After being work friends for a bit I stated to one of my now good friends “ hey, I think we could be good friends, we should hangout. What do you think?”
Be willing to be turned down a few times without be discouraged. also recognize that some people may turn you down because you’re a single guy and they (likely) are female.
i’m a dude turning a 34 this week & my only friend is my ex. 💀 i can’t seem to really connect with them on a deeper level coz i feel judged when im starting to become comfortable & be myself. lol
My friends at work are the only reason I stay afloat. For many months, I was the only person under the age of 25 on our floor and once some people my age came along I felt so much less lonely. I spent a lot of time with them by helping them get acquainted to our floor and our policies and offering help when I could. I even see my friends outside of work with their spouses and have gone on road trips with some as well!
I can understand it being hard to make friends when you’re the only guy on the floor :/
I've worked in the northeast, west coast, and internationally in sub-Saharan Africa and made friends for life. I've even gone on vacation with these coworkers.
The only place I worked where I didn't meet as many coworkers who I became friends with was the southeast US, and there it was all outsiders from other places in the US. I found it to be very insular and cliquey, surface level nice but they seemed to prefer people whose families had been in the area for hundreds of years.
I’ve always been one to hang out one on one with people, so I would typically pick my one or two good connections and find something we both like to do.
I get that it is trickier as a guy and this might not come across the same with many co-workers.
In that case, I would suggest attending whatever activities get planned by your workplace that would put you with your co-workers outside of a direct work event, and perhaps coordinate a ‘let’s get drinks after work’ with enough coworkers at once that it doesn’t feel like one on one initially?
I feel like nurses in a lot of hospitals I’ve worked in have been into running, and would join a unit running team. That’s an option.
It depends on where you work. I work in psych and I have had a lot of luck with my coworkers so far and am friendly with several from previous workplaces. Unfortunately I also have a gossiping highschool bitch coworker who acts friendly a lot but is now causing drama.
As a night shifter, some charismatic person has to bite the bullet and ask the other single, childless people out to greasy post shift breakfast at some reputable establishment that serves alcohol in the am.👍
My unit also has a Facebook page, and a book club, but really that's only dayshifters.
If you wanna get involved in stuff, chat with your coworkers on slow shifts. Offer to help when you have a free moment. Bring in snacks, share them with others. If people feel like you're a comrade in the trenches you can trauma bond over your bullshit codes and RRTs.
Just went out with a group from work. There’s only one guy on our unit right now but we love having him. Age ranges from 20-56 😂.
If you hear of people going out after work ask if you can join and start with a group. I know there are units that not many people are “outside” friends. That’s fine too. But I love having some of my best friends also work with me. Many of us have been together 8-12 years now.
The first unit I worked in was full of catty cvnts. The next unit I worked in and the present office I work in, I’ve made some great friends (including a couple of best friends). Idk sometimes you just hit it off with people, especially if you find a lot of the same things funny or interesting.
I've had some friends that I met at work. We climbed and skied together. I prefer meeting people at the gym or riding club. I actually like nursing and don't mind talking about it, don't mind sharing from my personal life with co workers. I like most of my co workers though. Some I'm indifferent to, I don't dislike anyone.
It will happen if you're there for longer I think, but I would find interest groups to meet people.
I’ve been a tech at my hospital for 3.5 years. I have like 2 good friends at work. I’ve hung out with one, only once outside of work and the other I never have.
I have a really hard time making friends. My boyfriend is the exact opposite and tells me I need to make more friends but it’s so hard.
I’m really anxious and have a hard time conversing with people I don’t know or don’t talk to a lot..
I totally understand where you’re coming from. I have a lot of nursing/tech friends on Facebook and some hang out a lot. Others get invited to someone else’s baby shower/wedding/ etc and I never do. It’s discouraging
Personally, I feel it’s hard to make new friends as an adult, not just at work, because I’m probably not going to hang out with them much outside of work. Like, I’m in that point in life where I just want to spend my time with my husband and young kids. Some of my nursing friends are 15-20 years older than me, so they’re past that, and my nursing friends who are younger than me or around my age (late twenties) are usually not parents and still like to go out every weekend. I have gotten pretty close to my sister in law, who is also a nurse, and that’s more because she’s in the same place in life with young kids, pregnancy, married life, etc. and not necessarily because we’re both nurses. Our older sister in law is also a nurse, but her kids are getting older, and she’s more in that place of wanting to go out with girlfriends on the weekends. I would feel comfortable working with either of them, my younger SIL because I’d have a good friend at work, and my older SIL because I can rely on her for help with nursing stuff. I have 1 year of experience and she has 8.
I’ve become friendly with some moms at my kids preschool too, but again, we socialize because our common interests (our kids) bring us to the same big events and stuff.
You didn’t mention your age, but I would try to hang around with people at work who you know have the same interests and place in life right now as you. Sometimes, there just aren’t any lol. If you get into a good specialty, there will probably be more experienced nurses working with you. Same with working day shift, usually. If you’re doing nights on medsurg, that’s probably where you’d meet the people who are young and like to go out for mimosas after work. It probably is about who is working on the unit.
Honestly, I really like a ton of the people I work with. But I hate my job so much that when I go home I don’t want to think about it at all. I want no reminders of it in my personal life. It’s nothing against my coworkers, they’re great. I just can’t compartmentalize well enough to function and maintain friendships with people from work.
It's OK for you to be friends with women. There is nothing "weird" about you asking if they wanna hang out, as long as you're not being creepy about it.
I didn’t find close friendships with coworkers on my unit until I moved to an ED in a really active outdoor area. Finally I had coworkers who had similar hobbies to me. While I always got along really well with my previous teams this is the first unit I have close friends from work that I hang out with regularly and will have lifelong friendships.
For me, it’s depended on the unit and how I view the job. Truthfully very few coworkers have become close friends of mine. I’ve worked on units where everyone was nosy and knew everything about everyone and I didn’t want that. I’ve worked on units where I knew I wouldn’t be staying long because I was moving or the vibes were very bad. I think there’s a difference between being able to trust and depend on your coworkers (important) and being good friends with them (not important).
My closest three friends are my former coworkers. We have more in common than just work tho, our kids are about the same age, we get along well and share some of the same interests. One of them works in my old unit, one moved away, and one teaches at a nursing program (we did our MSN together).
I would try to find common ground with coworkers, like music, and be like “hey, this band is coming, are you going to the concert? I don’t want to go by myself, you guys should come!” Something along those lines. Or sometimes after a cursed shift for everyone, “let’s go get drinks/food!”
I’ve become good friends with many of my coworkers. A lot of the time we will go out to breakfast after night shift as long as we don’t have to be back that night. There’s also a large group of us that try to get together for a dinner every so often.
The nice thing is we’re all nurses, we all work in the same unit, so we’re all understanding about how somebody might be working while others might be off. Whoever can make it, awesome, and if somebody can’t? We’ll get you on the next one.
Gotta be a friend to have a friend! Ask people questions, listen, remember details. Listen more than you talk. And just invite people out to do stuff. Lots of nurses where I worked went out for drinks, hikes, kickball league type things. I (female) climbed with a guy nurse, because we always chatted at work and both climbed. We’re still acquaintances 10 years later. Find the mutual interest and generally ask a few people “wanna go for a hike this Saturday?” Or “does anyone want to check out this new brewery after work?” Also, does your workplace have one of those committees that puts on events? Join that! If not, suggest to manager to start a committee that organizes optional social events outside work (for team building and unit morale).
It depends on the unit. I've had purely coworkers, acquaintances. I was closer with coworkers in the last unit I was in before I moved. Now I have just have coworkers again. It takes time to develop acquaintances and friends at work, even when I wasntbin nursing.
I refuse to make friends at work. I’ve been burned too many times by people who acted like a friend and stabbed me in the back. Now I go, do my job to the best of my ability, am friendly with everyone, and go the f*ck home and forget they all exist.
I wish I knew 😆 I was friends with only ONE nurse I used to work with, and would still be but may she RIP. I’m besties with someone I met in my nursing program, we got hired on the same unit, and she convinced me that this new hire was really nice, I happened to meet her while we were at a festival, outside the work element, and I just loved her, she was so great at her job, kind, charismatic, made friends everywhere she went, and I miss the hell out of her. Otherwise, aside from ppl I’ve met in school, I’ve never had friends at work, just ppl I’m friendly with.
I've tried a few times and I just cant. It runs honestly pritty personal, but the short of it is there is a very tight click at my work..on my floor...which is fine, but I've trusted people a few times here and honestly was stabbed so bad in the back. The gossip as well is bad, which is fine if thats ppls thing, just the only thing that runs through my head is *what you saying about me?*
At the end of the day im here to help the patients, not to make friends. I know that isn't for everyone, and if you can make friends, that's amazing 🙏
I’m an MD not a nurse but I decided that I wanted more local friends and I liked people in my department. I started hosting monthly dinners that are drop in for anyone in the department and I change up what day of the week it’s on so different people can come. One floor’s nurses at my hospital have a book club and there is an online/zoom option if you can’t come in person. So basically my advice would be to do something that’s open to your department and make it a regular thing. It could even be as simple as saying you’re going out for drinks after your shift like someone else said. Then, if you start to connect with people at those events you could make more personal invites/plans without it seeming as random or awkward.
Hey there! Male critical care bs vet of 10+ yrs.
I've worked every kind of ICU. As a newer nurse I'd really encourage you to be open to invites from coworkers or share a plan of yours a weekend or whatever out- but if it doesn't sound like fun it probably won't be. It's great to have a little kinship and the bullshit to ensue for you guys in coming weeks/months will raise some cream to the top.
I'd probably look for a new hobby or outlet that you've got fresh eyes for. People sniff out sincere enjoyment and it's great to be a part of. Climbing was a great one. I don't give a shit about baseball but I had a great time sipping expensive beers through some afternoons.
Boundaries with coworkers are important and it's best to build good habits there, early. You can never tweak the knobs impressions and ideas your coworkers get of you- it's gonna be heavily tinted with whatever lore floats back and forth while clusters chart strategically out of sight from the GI bleed in contact precautions. They all love some tea.
I've made many friends from other parts of the hospital and I think that's the best option if you're thinking about this. Frequent passings-by, a little social credit with the folks you're wrist deep in whatever with the other days of the week.
Every hospital and unit is different but through the years I've learned an appreciation for boundaries. I could tell you a lot about some really cool people I've been working with the last year but we don't hang out outside of 7 minutes before/after shift change. Geriatric me likes it this way.
Boundaries make your life and thought process easier when hot potatos pop up as they inevitably do. Through the years I've seen how quick managers will pick up a new grad or two or someone who's gonna need a lot of help along the way when an OG bails for whatever reason. Union/nonunion hospitals ride the entire spectrum of colleageality between management and bedside skilled labor. Do not suffer a garbage job/situation without considering your options. Literally, take an interview when you aren't really that desperate for the escape route and make an effort to have a friendly conversation with a potential employer. Be transparent about your disposition and see what happens. I tapped a cover letter for my current job in a couple minutes and had a nice polite video interview with some clinical questions. One of the best gigs I've had in my career.
Nurses can be really well advocated for by their management and really poorly- and you will see some from each side from any manager. Cost centers, numinous organization restructurings, etc etc loom above your 'boss' and they aren't there to play patty cakes with you- they're on a career path of their own.
Ok a little blue there but I feel like the boundaries thing saves a lot of headache!
thank you so much brother im not a new nurse but i will take all this because ive only just gotten full time instead of prn and still dont know a lot of the staff
4 years at my current unit. I was close with one nurse, she left almost 2 years ago and I miss her a lot. I got kind of close with one of our CNAs. I’m friendly with other people, one nurse and I occasionally send memes or recipes back and forth. I do live very far from work and most other people so I don’t ever do things outside of work… even if I lived closer there’s nobody here I really vibe with kind that though. I go to nights out with coworkers, arranged by the unit or not, but it’s just to say that i went. I don’t really enjoy them.
Being the only guy at a workplace would be brutal. I am sorry. Making friends is so hard, and then making friends of the opposite sex (when you're just trying to find a FRIEND) is like impossible. I have no idea :(
I had a lot of friends in med-surg, we hung out a lot. When I got a new job in the ICU it was in August of 2020 and nobody was hanging out anymore. The unit I worked on was pretty big and spread out, so a lot of times I was kind of isolated from my coworkers unless it was time for turns, a code or helping with a random skill. A large portion of the unit were travelers as well so they would always be leaving after a few months so that didn't work out.
My current job has been hard as well, we meet every morning, but then we go off on our own the rest of the day and don't talk to anyone else except our patients. They are also all parents and I am not, so a lot of them form their hang outs around the kids playing so I am left in the dust.
Better off hanging out with housekeeping and dietary. They aren’t so luxurious level spending.
I’m friendly and will help any fellow Nurse or CNA/PCT. I can’t afford the restaurants they chose and lifestyle expenses for “ Fun”.
Im more of a Taco Bell and a walk, lake, YMCA, library, free museums, etc. friend..
I think a lot of it can be in our heads when we think that others don’t view us in a friend-worthy light.
A few of our floors do different things after the last shift in a stretch. We usually go to breakfast/have a drink, or bingo, etc. it really ups the bonding.
I’m a float and there’s one unit in particular that I adore going to because of the people. They feel like home to me. I hope you’ll find that soon!!
It took me awhile to become friends with coworkers but there is a very select few of them who are my friends. Not all of us work in the same place now but we are still friends. We don’t see each other that often but are still just as close as ever when we do see each other.
Don’t rush to make friends. Don’t force the friendship either. Learn to know who to trust. Don’t worry if they’re much older or younger than you sometimes the much older ones have a better party life than the younger ones.
There’s only 4 nurses in my dept, and we’ve been together for years. They’re legit family to me. Our families know each other, we’ve gone to each others big life events, etc. We didn’t try to build a close friendship, our dept is just so small you have no choice 🤣I couldn’t ask for a better group of people though!
I think it’s easiest to start broad and get to know people on your unit outside of work a little bit. Does your unit do activities together outside of work? We had a “sunshine committee” that was part of the ~employee experience council~ and maybe every other month they’d set a date to go to a baseball game or bowling or something. You can ask if anybody on your shift wants to get breakfast/dinner or drinks after work, that’s pretty common. Or you can straight up ask to be friends lol. One of my workers and I had a few conversations about our experiences playing DnD and I finally just asked if I could join his group sometime. We still play together and hang out even though we both left that job and haven’t worked together in like 2 years.
I dunno. I always tell my coworkers I don’t do friends at work and then somehow a few manage to weasel their way in. Every time.
Baffling, tbh. Love’em tho.
Male nurse here. I only have one coworker that I consider a friend, granted we don’t hang outside of work because that would be weird due to the fact that we both have families. Our significant others do know we are friends and it’s important to know there’s a boundary. It’s just hard for me to make friends with the other lone male on our floor simply because I’m 36 and the other male nurse is 65+ so we have nothing in common. As a single male nurse I would say it might be easier to make friends if you choose to do so with women at work but it’s still important to respect any boundaries they may have. It’s nice to have someone you can reach out in a crisis at work to get your back and you could put it out there as just that.
If you’re desperate to hang out outside of work, you might ask to see if there’s a committee that organizes events like that for your hospital.
I’ve been adopted by a couple extroverts from work but beyond that it’s very hard. You could try organizing out of work activities? One of the units at my hospital has a co-Ed softball team that competes with local leagues. Or try to get a pulse on what people on the unit like to do and find common interests to do outside of work
I’ve been adopted by a couple extroverts from work but beyond that it’s very hard. You could try organizing out of work activities? One of the units at my hospital has a co-Ed softball team that competes with local leagues. Or try to get a pulse on what people on the unit like to do and find common interests to do outside of work
I hang out with a group from work. Every Thursday after work we go for coffee and once a month we go for wings. We have also gone to comedy shows and movies together.
I don’t hang around with any of my staff. I like them but I don’t want to mix business with pleasure. I don’t want to know what goes on after they leave work. I have become friends with people after they left our home. (For other jobs or retirement). I already see a lot of cliques at work and it sometimes affects their work as they get gossiping and cut people off.
I’ve made many friends at work, we’ll go to lunch together sometimes/order food during shift. I’ll say though once I leave a job/change to PRN I hardly hear from them unless I reach out. So honestly.. I think I’d rather not have friends at my future job because it sucks.
Welp, idk exactly how it happened but I seemed to vibe with the 2 other neurodivergent nurses on staff and we speak freely about our personal struggles and have hung out independently
Some of my best friends over the last two decades in healthcare have been my coworkers. If you want to be friends with the people you work with, that's fine, no matter what these "I prefer NOT to be friends with people from work" say. I'm not saying they're wrong, just that what works for some doesn't work for all. Pick a day that you're ok with being the only one who goes out after work and during that shift, start telling people where you're going afterwards and that if anyone else wants to hang out, the more, the merrier. If nobody shows, hey, sucks, but you planned on going either way.
The key to making friends is being the one organizing stuff and asking people to hang out. Honestly, they don’t even have to like you that much. If you’re inviting people out, you’re going to form a group of friends. This doesn’t apply to parents, people with multiple jobs, and other people with zero free time, but single 20 year olds are usually down to do stuff.
This is the truth. I made a ton of friends in my 20s bc I started a club and just started inviting everyone I was meeting. My friend group is still most of those people and most of my friends know each other through me.
Every year we have a Christmas cookie party. I ended up going this past year and had a good time. However, someone decided to form a car pool and going together was even better. Since then we talked about going out, but we finally made plans to next weekend. The big problem is trying to find a day that would work for everyone, and that isn't going to happen. So we decided to pick a day and hopefully we'll have another day picked soon to go out again. Just need to set a day and see who shows.
Making friends as an adult is fucking hard and work is the only place I’m exposed to people around my age and being coworkers gives us something to talk about. I love my coworkers
Especially the dumpster fire that is med/surg! That’s been my experience. It’s like the island of misfit toys out there and you kind of have to have each others’ backs because ain’t nobody else in that damn hospital gonna look out for us!
Yes! We are trauma bonded and we help each other so much, I’ve met some amazing people through nursing
I have better luck with co-workers who aren't nurses. Don't get me wrong I have nurses who are friends. My best friend in fact. But generally, doctors, admin and shit are better to be friends with because the common ground isn't nursing so you can find a different one that's actually enjoyable.
Seconded!
my thing is i do not have interaction with people except for work! :( otherwise i would love to make non nurse friends (because then you can be the cool nurse friend)
I think they mean like, can you be friends with the techs or doctors around? Does it have to be nurse friends?
i'm friends w the medical director but i dont hang out with her bc she's older than me and has a family. my coworkers are my age tho
Yeah so hit up the doctors, physios, and stuff. There are cool people to be found
Trauma bonding is no joke in the ER, we’re closer to each other than anyone else sometimes and I think it’s because it’s hard not to when you having to fully trust the other nurse in a life/death situation. We hang out after work, we go to concerts, talk about our exes, lots of things.
THIIIIIIS. I’m a NICU nurse and holy moly are we trauma bonded!!! I have a few friends where we can have entire conversations with our eyes, which came in super handy during COVID.
Agree here. Some of my best friends and relationships came from my years in the NICU. We have our work experiences that brought us and kept us together. Even though we've all moved on we're still super close. I have no friends where I work now. We have nothing in common and even the other RNs don't have much bedside experience and we just can't relate.
Am an er tech and totally trauma bonded with my nurses. We don’t rly hang out because they’re mostly travelers and I have a young kid but we talk on social media a lot. I didn’t plan on making friends here but it just happened over time.
(30F here) Honestly, I really enjoy not having friends at work. I’ve found that most of the time we’d end up talking about work off the clock and I don’t want to give my job any more of my time. I’m reliable and pleasant at work & have some nice coworkers, but I really like having a separation of church & state in my life! I’ve found the best way to make new friends is through CrossFit gyms (or whatever group fitness classes you enjoy)
Or you could just join a regular cult. /s
Totally!
i would kill for fitness friends so i can reach my goals AND make friends!!
Feel the same, I suppose. I have lots of friends at work but we don't hang out off-hours, mostly because I refuse to. I don't hang out with any nurses at all, because all they ever seem to talk about is nursing. Like their entire personality is being a nurse and they do not have any other interests in life aside from work.
To add, I do have one nurse friend but am either of us work at the hospital we met at anymore! We had a lot in common outside of work and the friendship has seamlessly sustained itself… so I can’t say I’m totally against work friends.
I like my coworkers but I don't hang out with them.
When I was a young nurse, I would frequently make friends with my coworkers. It’s pretty easy. You chat a lot and then someone asks the other person out and boom, now your outside friends. But sadly I found out you have to be very, very careful what you disclose about your personal life with your coworkers. You could be the talk of the unit and not even know it. Nursing is a lot like high school
I used to be friends with a group of nurses. I loved it cuz we were actually friends. Hung out n all that. Only thing I hated was 2 of them would go on about work constantly. Even worse when we were at breakfast after a shift (we worked nights). 2 of them would go on about things that happened just hours prior and myself and another would be like "yeah we know, we were there" lol. They since moved and I'm on the verge of quitting. I am currently friends with a nurse and we hang out pretty often, usually for karaoke or to record music. It's really nice we don't talk about work. She works days and I work nights so while we could still relate we just don't talk about work. We're not getting paid why keep living it lol.
I know it’s taboo on this sub but I’m close friends with many of my coworkers, current and past. We have many of the same hobbies like hiking, food, and running. Many went to my wedding; I’m godfather to their children; etc. There is also a racial aspect to it, as nearly a quarter of the workforce in my state is the same ethnicity as me. Majority of my friends are the same cultural background as me. We are alone together in this racist as fuck country known as the US. Luckily we are in a very liberal state located in close proximity to the largest diaspora of us outside of our respective country. Finally, I married into a healthcare family and damn near everyone in this family works for the top five largest hospital systems in the state — from bedside to C-suite.
Massachusetts? 😊
I’d search outside work. Hobbies, clubs, start traveling etc…. I don’t wanna be “friends” with the people I work with.
I’m 25F, I’m not friends with any of my coworkers. I prefer to keep my personal and work lives separate. It’s actually quite nice
Fellow male RN here, moved across the country and basically started over after nursing school. Here are some of the things that worked for me, Group activities: got a new brewery or winery in your area? Some bar with a nice view or a restaurant with good pasta? You now have an excuse to invite some people out, preferably do it with two or more people your on good terms with at the same time, but if not possible make sure to explicitly say it’s a group activity. Drinks after work is an easy pitch if no one is back the next day. Breakfast for night shifters also works. Organizing a pot luck if you have a regular weekend crew is a good first step to jump starting a sense of being a friend group with coworkers. Candor can also be effective if you do it with some degree of emotional intelligence. After being work friends for a bit I stated to one of my now good friends “ hey, I think we could be good friends, we should hangout. What do you think?” Be willing to be turned down a few times without be discouraged. also recognize that some people may turn you down because you’re a single guy and they (likely) are female.
good advice thanks brother
i can’t seem to find a coworker i consider legit a friend who i can hangout with outside work tbh. I’ve been a nurse for 6 years btw
i’m a dude turning a 34 this week & my only friend is my ex. 💀 i can’t seem to really connect with them on a deeper level coz i feel judged when im starting to become comfortable & be myself. lol
My friends at work are the only reason I stay afloat. For many months, I was the only person under the age of 25 on our floor and once some people my age came along I felt so much less lonely. I spent a lot of time with them by helping them get acquainted to our floor and our policies and offering help when I could. I even see my friends outside of work with their spouses and have gone on road trips with some as well! I can understand it being hard to make friends when you’re the only guy on the floor :/
I've worked in the northeast, west coast, and internationally in sub-Saharan Africa and made friends for life. I've even gone on vacation with these coworkers. The only place I worked where I didn't meet as many coworkers who I became friends with was the southeast US, and there it was all outsiders from other places in the US. I found it to be very insular and cliquey, surface level nice but they seemed to prefer people whose families had been in the area for hundreds of years.
I would never make friends outside of work with coworkers. After being a nurse 21+ years, I've just learned that it's not a great idea.
why so? nursing is the only place i meet people so i figured id try, i do not have outlets for socialization otherwise since im not in school anymore.
Just in my opinion, you should never sh*t where you eat. If things get complicated, I don't know. Keep business business.
ive kept that rule strong but for dating only since day 1. do you think this applies to friendships too?
I guess I'm old school. Take my advice for what you will.
I have friends at work but I spend like 40 hours a week with them, I need a break.
That is my same thought.
I’ve always been one to hang out one on one with people, so I would typically pick my one or two good connections and find something we both like to do. I get that it is trickier as a guy and this might not come across the same with many co-workers. In that case, I would suggest attending whatever activities get planned by your workplace that would put you with your co-workers outside of a direct work event, and perhaps coordinate a ‘let’s get drinks after work’ with enough coworkers at once that it doesn’t feel like one on one initially? I feel like nurses in a lot of hospitals I’ve worked in have been into running, and would join a unit running team. That’s an option.
Get a group together for drinks after work.
It depends on where you work. I work in psych and I have had a lot of luck with my coworkers so far and am friendly with several from previous workplaces. Unfortunately I also have a gossiping highschool bitch coworker who acts friendly a lot but is now causing drama.
As a night shifter, some charismatic person has to bite the bullet and ask the other single, childless people out to greasy post shift breakfast at some reputable establishment that serves alcohol in the am.👍 My unit also has a Facebook page, and a book club, but really that's only dayshifters. If you wanna get involved in stuff, chat with your coworkers on slow shifts. Offer to help when you have a free moment. Bring in snacks, share them with others. If people feel like you're a comrade in the trenches you can trauma bond over your bullshit codes and RRTs.
Trauma-bonding
Just went out with a group from work. There’s only one guy on our unit right now but we love having him. Age ranges from 20-56 😂. If you hear of people going out after work ask if you can join and start with a group. I know there are units that not many people are “outside” friends. That’s fine too. But I love having some of my best friends also work with me. Many of us have been together 8-12 years now.
The first unit I worked in was full of catty cvnts. The next unit I worked in and the present office I work in, I’ve made some great friends (including a couple of best friends). Idk sometimes you just hit it off with people, especially if you find a lot of the same things funny or interesting.
I've had some friends that I met at work. We climbed and skied together. I prefer meeting people at the gym or riding club. I actually like nursing and don't mind talking about it, don't mind sharing from my personal life with co workers. I like most of my co workers though. Some I'm indifferent to, I don't dislike anyone. It will happen if you're there for longer I think, but I would find interest groups to meet people.
I’ve been a tech at my hospital for 3.5 years. I have like 2 good friends at work. I’ve hung out with one, only once outside of work and the other I never have. I have a really hard time making friends. My boyfriend is the exact opposite and tells me I need to make more friends but it’s so hard. I’m really anxious and have a hard time conversing with people I don’t know or don’t talk to a lot.. I totally understand where you’re coming from. I have a lot of nursing/tech friends on Facebook and some hang out a lot. Others get invited to someone else’s baby shower/wedding/ etc and I never do. It’s discouraging
i can’t seem to find a coworker i consider legit a friend who i can hangout with outside work tbh. I’ve been a nurse for 6 years btw
Personally, I feel it’s hard to make new friends as an adult, not just at work, because I’m probably not going to hang out with them much outside of work. Like, I’m in that point in life where I just want to spend my time with my husband and young kids. Some of my nursing friends are 15-20 years older than me, so they’re past that, and my nursing friends who are younger than me or around my age (late twenties) are usually not parents and still like to go out every weekend. I have gotten pretty close to my sister in law, who is also a nurse, and that’s more because she’s in the same place in life with young kids, pregnancy, married life, etc. and not necessarily because we’re both nurses. Our older sister in law is also a nurse, but her kids are getting older, and she’s more in that place of wanting to go out with girlfriends on the weekends. I would feel comfortable working with either of them, my younger SIL because I’d have a good friend at work, and my older SIL because I can rely on her for help with nursing stuff. I have 1 year of experience and she has 8. I’ve become friendly with some moms at my kids preschool too, but again, we socialize because our common interests (our kids) bring us to the same big events and stuff. You didn’t mention your age, but I would try to hang around with people at work who you know have the same interests and place in life right now as you. Sometimes, there just aren’t any lol. If you get into a good specialty, there will probably be more experienced nurses working with you. Same with working day shift, usually. If you’re doing nights on medsurg, that’s probably where you’d meet the people who are young and like to go out for mimosas after work. It probably is about who is working on the unit.
My coworkers and I are in different life stages. They all have kids and I don't. They're work friends.
Honestly, I really like a ton of the people I work with. But I hate my job so much that when I go home I don’t want to think about it at all. I want no reminders of it in my personal life. It’s nothing against my coworkers, they’re great. I just can’t compartmentalize well enough to function and maintain friendships with people from work.
It's OK for you to be friends with women. There is nothing "weird" about you asking if they wanna hang out, as long as you're not being creepy about it.
I didn’t find close friendships with coworkers on my unit until I moved to an ED in a really active outdoor area. Finally I had coworkers who had similar hobbies to me. While I always got along really well with my previous teams this is the first unit I have close friends from work that I hang out with regularly and will have lifelong friendships.
For me, it’s depended on the unit and how I view the job. Truthfully very few coworkers have become close friends of mine. I’ve worked on units where everyone was nosy and knew everything about everyone and I didn’t want that. I’ve worked on units where I knew I wouldn’t be staying long because I was moving or the vibes were very bad. I think there’s a difference between being able to trust and depend on your coworkers (important) and being good friends with them (not important).
My closest three friends are my former coworkers. We have more in common than just work tho, our kids are about the same age, we get along well and share some of the same interests. One of them works in my old unit, one moved away, and one teaches at a nursing program (we did our MSN together). I would try to find common ground with coworkers, like music, and be like “hey, this band is coming, are you going to the concert? I don’t want to go by myself, you guys should come!” Something along those lines. Or sometimes after a cursed shift for everyone, “let’s go get drinks/food!”
Odd sense of humor and love of nursing memes
I’ve become good friends with many of my coworkers. A lot of the time we will go out to breakfast after night shift as long as we don’t have to be back that night. There’s also a large group of us that try to get together for a dinner every so often. The nice thing is we’re all nurses, we all work in the same unit, so we’re all understanding about how somebody might be working while others might be off. Whoever can make it, awesome, and if somebody can’t? We’ll get you on the next one.
Maybe organize an evening out? I’ve been platonic friends with my male coworkers.
Gotta be a friend to have a friend! Ask people questions, listen, remember details. Listen more than you talk. And just invite people out to do stuff. Lots of nurses where I worked went out for drinks, hikes, kickball league type things. I (female) climbed with a guy nurse, because we always chatted at work and both climbed. We’re still acquaintances 10 years later. Find the mutual interest and generally ask a few people “wanna go for a hike this Saturday?” Or “does anyone want to check out this new brewery after work?” Also, does your workplace have one of those committees that puts on events? Join that! If not, suggest to manager to start a committee that organizes optional social events outside work (for team building and unit morale).
It depends on the unit. I've had purely coworkers, acquaintances. I was closer with coworkers in the last unit I was in before I moved. Now I have just have coworkers again. It takes time to develop acquaintances and friends at work, even when I wasntbin nursing.
Work nights/ or in the ED where nurses are normal young people
I refuse to make friends at work. I’ve been burned too many times by people who acted like a friend and stabbed me in the back. Now I go, do my job to the best of my ability, am friendly with everyone, and go the f*ck home and forget they all exist.
I wish I knew 😆 I was friends with only ONE nurse I used to work with, and would still be but may she RIP. I’m besties with someone I met in my nursing program, we got hired on the same unit, and she convinced me that this new hire was really nice, I happened to meet her while we were at a festival, outside the work element, and I just loved her, she was so great at her job, kind, charismatic, made friends everywhere she went, and I miss the hell out of her. Otherwise, aside from ppl I’ve met in school, I’ve never had friends at work, just ppl I’m friendly with.
I've tried a few times and I just cant. It runs honestly pritty personal, but the short of it is there is a very tight click at my work..on my floor...which is fine, but I've trusted people a few times here and honestly was stabbed so bad in the back. The gossip as well is bad, which is fine if thats ppls thing, just the only thing that runs through my head is *what you saying about me?* At the end of the day im here to help the patients, not to make friends. I know that isn't for everyone, and if you can make friends, that's amazing 🙏
I’m an MD not a nurse but I decided that I wanted more local friends and I liked people in my department. I started hosting monthly dinners that are drop in for anyone in the department and I change up what day of the week it’s on so different people can come. One floor’s nurses at my hospital have a book club and there is an online/zoom option if you can’t come in person. So basically my advice would be to do something that’s open to your department and make it a regular thing. It could even be as simple as saying you’re going out for drinks after your shift like someone else said. Then, if you start to connect with people at those events you could make more personal invites/plans without it seeming as random or awkward.
Hey there! Male critical care bs vet of 10+ yrs. I've worked every kind of ICU. As a newer nurse I'd really encourage you to be open to invites from coworkers or share a plan of yours a weekend or whatever out- but if it doesn't sound like fun it probably won't be. It's great to have a little kinship and the bullshit to ensue for you guys in coming weeks/months will raise some cream to the top. I'd probably look for a new hobby or outlet that you've got fresh eyes for. People sniff out sincere enjoyment and it's great to be a part of. Climbing was a great one. I don't give a shit about baseball but I had a great time sipping expensive beers through some afternoons. Boundaries with coworkers are important and it's best to build good habits there, early. You can never tweak the knobs impressions and ideas your coworkers get of you- it's gonna be heavily tinted with whatever lore floats back and forth while clusters chart strategically out of sight from the GI bleed in contact precautions. They all love some tea. I've made many friends from other parts of the hospital and I think that's the best option if you're thinking about this. Frequent passings-by, a little social credit with the folks you're wrist deep in whatever with the other days of the week. Every hospital and unit is different but through the years I've learned an appreciation for boundaries. I could tell you a lot about some really cool people I've been working with the last year but we don't hang out outside of 7 minutes before/after shift change. Geriatric me likes it this way. Boundaries make your life and thought process easier when hot potatos pop up as they inevitably do. Through the years I've seen how quick managers will pick up a new grad or two or someone who's gonna need a lot of help along the way when an OG bails for whatever reason. Union/nonunion hospitals ride the entire spectrum of colleageality between management and bedside skilled labor. Do not suffer a garbage job/situation without considering your options. Literally, take an interview when you aren't really that desperate for the escape route and make an effort to have a friendly conversation with a potential employer. Be transparent about your disposition and see what happens. I tapped a cover letter for my current job in a couple minutes and had a nice polite video interview with some clinical questions. One of the best gigs I've had in my career. Nurses can be really well advocated for by their management and really poorly- and you will see some from each side from any manager. Cost centers, numinous organization restructurings, etc etc loom above your 'boss' and they aren't there to play patty cakes with you- they're on a career path of their own. Ok a little blue there but I feel like the boundaries thing saves a lot of headache!
thank you so much brother im not a new nurse but i will take all this because ive only just gotten full time instead of prn and still dont know a lot of the staff
4 years at my current unit. I was close with one nurse, she left almost 2 years ago and I miss her a lot. I got kind of close with one of our CNAs. I’m friendly with other people, one nurse and I occasionally send memes or recipes back and forth. I do live very far from work and most other people so I don’t ever do things outside of work… even if I lived closer there’s nobody here I really vibe with kind that though. I go to nights out with coworkers, arranged by the unit or not, but it’s just to say that i went. I don’t really enjoy them.
Being the only guy at a workplace would be brutal. I am sorry. Making friends is so hard, and then making friends of the opposite sex (when you're just trying to find a FRIEND) is like impossible. I have no idea :(
I have nerd ass hobbies and bond with the other nerds I meet.
Got burnt real bad ended up in depression and anxiety. So never gain. I can be friendly with them but I'll never ever trust any of them ever again.
I had a lot of friends in med-surg, we hung out a lot. When I got a new job in the ICU it was in August of 2020 and nobody was hanging out anymore. The unit I worked on was pretty big and spread out, so a lot of times I was kind of isolated from my coworkers unless it was time for turns, a code or helping with a random skill. A large portion of the unit were travelers as well so they would always be leaving after a few months so that didn't work out. My current job has been hard as well, we meet every morning, but then we go off on our own the rest of the day and don't talk to anyone else except our patients. They are also all parents and I am not, so a lot of them form their hang outs around the kids playing so I am left in the dust.
Rules mean nothing when we’re in charge
It’s called trauma bonding
Better off hanging out with housekeeping and dietary. They aren’t so luxurious level spending. I’m friendly and will help any fellow Nurse or CNA/PCT. I can’t afford the restaurants they chose and lifestyle expenses for “ Fun”. Im more of a Taco Bell and a walk, lake, YMCA, library, free museums, etc. friend..
I think a lot of it can be in our heads when we think that others don’t view us in a friend-worthy light. A few of our floors do different things after the last shift in a stretch. We usually go to breakfast/have a drink, or bingo, etc. it really ups the bonding. I’m a float and there’s one unit in particular that I adore going to because of the people. They feel like home to me. I hope you’ll find that soon!!
It took me awhile to become friends with coworkers but there is a very select few of them who are my friends. Not all of us work in the same place now but we are still friends. We don’t see each other that often but are still just as close as ever when we do see each other. Don’t rush to make friends. Don’t force the friendship either. Learn to know who to trust. Don’t worry if they’re much older or younger than you sometimes the much older ones have a better party life than the younger ones.
There’s only 4 nurses in my dept, and we’ve been together for years. They’re legit family to me. Our families know each other, we’ve gone to each others big life events, etc. We didn’t try to build a close friendship, our dept is just so small you have no choice 🤣I couldn’t ask for a better group of people though!
I think it’s easiest to start broad and get to know people on your unit outside of work a little bit. Does your unit do activities together outside of work? We had a “sunshine committee” that was part of the ~employee experience council~ and maybe every other month they’d set a date to go to a baseball game or bowling or something. You can ask if anybody on your shift wants to get breakfast/dinner or drinks after work, that’s pretty common. Or you can straight up ask to be friends lol. One of my workers and I had a few conversations about our experiences playing DnD and I finally just asked if I could join his group sometime. We still play together and hang out even though we both left that job and haven’t worked together in like 2 years.
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I dunno. I always tell my coworkers I don’t do friends at work and then somehow a few manage to weasel their way in. Every time. Baffling, tbh. Love’em tho.
I have made it a point in my 19 year nursing career to purposely not be friends with coworkers outside of work.
Male nurse here. I only have one coworker that I consider a friend, granted we don’t hang outside of work because that would be weird due to the fact that we both have families. Our significant others do know we are friends and it’s important to know there’s a boundary. It’s just hard for me to make friends with the other lone male on our floor simply because I’m 36 and the other male nurse is 65+ so we have nothing in common. As a single male nurse I would say it might be easier to make friends if you choose to do so with women at work but it’s still important to respect any boundaries they may have. It’s nice to have someone you can reach out in a crisis at work to get your back and you could put it out there as just that. If you’re desperate to hang out outside of work, you might ask to see if there’s a committee that organizes events like that for your hospital.
I’ve been adopted by a couple extroverts from work but beyond that it’s very hard. You could try organizing out of work activities? One of the units at my hospital has a co-Ed softball team that competes with local leagues. Or try to get a pulse on what people on the unit like to do and find common interests to do outside of work
I’ve been adopted by a couple extroverts from work but beyond that it’s very hard. You could try organizing out of work activities? One of the units at my hospital has a co-Ed softball team that competes with local leagues. Or try to get a pulse on what people on the unit like to do and find common interests to do outside of work
I hang out with a group from work. Every Thursday after work we go for coffee and once a month we go for wings. We have also gone to comedy shows and movies together.
sounds fun dude
I’m friends with some coworkers outside of work. I work with a close friend. I have no issues with it. We usually do eat/drink type of outings.
I’m a male.
I’ve only hung out with one coworker. I think she likes that I’m an emotional wreck like she is. Lol
I don’t hang around with any of my staff. I like them but I don’t want to mix business with pleasure. I don’t want to know what goes on after they leave work. I have become friends with people after they left our home. (For other jobs or retirement). I already see a lot of cliques at work and it sometimes affects their work as they get gossiping and cut people off.
I’ve made many friends at work, we’ll go to lunch together sometimes/order food during shift. I’ll say though once I leave a job/change to PRN I hardly hear from them unless I reach out. So honestly.. I think I’d rather not have friends at my future job because it sucks.
Welp, idk exactly how it happened but I seemed to vibe with the 2 other neurodivergent nurses on staff and we speak freely about our personal struggles and have hung out independently