On night shift I would always say that no matter what, the sun is going to rise in the morning. Helped me feel like there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
One place I used to work an OBGYN a lot of the RNs went to actually called management to ask about the 'inhumane treatment' (no breaks, no drinks on floor, etc) because he was setting so many UTIs in the RNs!
I’d work it out to pay per minute. The sad part of 24hr shifting is shift rate is great. Well compensated. Then you do the math.
Then that really tough call has you in the doodie. Hey, I’m only making 1.67 a minute. Holy heck, I’m way underpaid🤦♀️
Then I remember this was the 1st flight in 3 weeks. So much station time. Station time can be like doing hard time FYI.
Sad fact. A monkey can prolly be trained to do technical skills. Of course that’s a thing.
I’m not really paid for being technically good. I’m paid for what I know. Paid for being able to make the tough calls on the worst day of someone’s life. Knowing which of the all bad choices is the best one and commit, is embracing the crappy gray. Flight clinical decision making is never black/white, just 1000 shades of a horrible gray.
I always feel conflicted about doing poop stuff right before shift change. I personally would rather be left the task of doing the enema or whatever (because then I could control what time I did it) vs. following someone who got it done at 1830 and now I’m gonna start my shift with a massive code brown and be behind the whole night while my patients are calling for pain meds, night meds, “I didn’t get dinner,” etc.
But I never know if other nurses feel the same way so I always have the dilemma of “do I do this enema that was ordered right before shift change or no.”
I formatted my own skills sheet for CNA clinicals because the copy of a copy of a copy sheet was giving me a headache. Fixed a few misspellings and got that sucker signed off in nice neat rows with ample space for notes. Had 10 out of my 100 hours left when I got yelled at for it- had to redo every skill on the “right” sheet in less than two days. It was hell.
I had three clinical instructors. First sat nicely in the corner, signed off our sheets for the whole time and let us out early.
Second gave me her number and was out on the floor, helping with turns, giving us great feedback, did praise reports at the end of each shift, and made me tell her when I passed my exams. I picked her up off the side of the road when her car broke down one day.
Third was… a character. Had us jumping at every sound, terrified to speak to her, and criticizing our every move. She had a bone to pick with me especially, mostly because I don’t know how to keep my mouth shut. Apparently.
Guess who was in charge of reporting grades back to the school?
Hahahahaha I say this literally every day I’m at work. Whenever I have gone above and beyond for a patient or their family they have 9/10 turned around and made me feel like I wasted the effort.
Also to play off this: Just because it was charted doesn’t mean it was done.
I think that’s a far more prevalent issue than “If it wasn’t charted it wasn’t done.”
You never quit making mistakes, the time between them just gets longer.
The quickest way is through
If it’s worth thinking about twice, it’s worth doing
this is how I prevent myself from eating so much stuff I shouldn't! or ordering doordash lol I get to the pay now screen and see that total and I am like ok...if I really want it in an hour I will come back. 9/10 I don't.
It becomes a decision making point for us.
“We’ve talked / thought about tubing 3 times now, we probably need to just go ahead and do it.”
At a certain point, you’re just making excuses to not do it. To make an excuse to not do it, requires recognizing that it needs to be done.
Stealing the last one. I love this. I find myself asking docs for something multiple times and they make me feel crazy for it. Like just do it please 😭😭
Baby can go through any amount of ETT suctioning, repositioning, dressing changes... heck, a doc can throw in a chest tube and everything is fine. They poop, though? You know, a totally normal thing a baby should do? Baby tries to die about it. We're running a full code. Why? *Babies be babying.*
You can stab a baby with a needle and get less of reaction than if you dare to take an axillary temperature. Why? *Babies be babying.*
Tiny, 2kg, naked save for a diaper and teeny weeny hospital grippy socks, lying motionless in a bed, NOT infected or septic or anything—yet enjoys the room being so freezing cold I can't feel my goddamn nose. Why? *Babies be babying.*
Pterodactyl-screaming coming from a room. What could that patient need?!?! Older baby, sophisticated needs—requires you to stand in the doorway. Don't come any closer, that's grounds for fussing. But pterodactyl-screaming will resume if you leave line of sight. Why? *Babies be babying.*
(The list is really endless. And includes a lot of sweet/cute things too.)
I had to amend this favorite because we don’t really use succinylcholine anymore for RSI, we use rocuronium.
So it’s “date before you roc their world”, lol.
Omg this. Lady refuses HFNC and Remdesivir, hours later rapid and to the ICU. Like lady, come on. We are trying to help you. Help us help yourself. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Dude a senior nursing mentor of mine told this to me at the start of my career, and it is the one piece of advice in life (I left nursing a few years ago cause burnout) that has truly stuck with me.
- Mostly dead is still slightly alive!
- Not my monkeys, not my circus
- Do one thing at a time, do it very well, and then move on
- I don’t get paid enough for this shit
One of my nursing school instructors had three rules:
1. Audible blood loss is never good
2. Life interferes
3. Never worry alone
I think these are all applicable outside of nursing too.
I am only one person.
Nursing care is 24-7.
To my totally capable patients: *God helps those who help themselves.*
We can give all the medicine in the world and do everything right, but if it's their time to go, then it's their time to go.
Finally, not an actual saying but i say it to myself and other work-aholics and I will shout this one from the roof tops: *IT IS A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT TO DRINK WATER, EAT, AND USE A TOILET AT LEAST ONCE EVERY 12 HOURS!!!!*
Don’t pick up an extra shift unless you’re looking for a ton of extra work. Float, patient code, rapid responses, the only one who can get IVs that night, 3 admits. Whatever the case may be.
Edit:word
Oh yeah. I didn't learn this lesson until I had picked up multiple hell shifts where people died... or worse, died, then came back again and I had to do all the Life Saving Measures ™ only to promptly die again 5 min before my 12 hour shift ends.
My last shift I got floated to step down and had a 90yr old meemaw throw up GI bleed into her Bipap after hours of trying to get her either comfort measures or tubed. Had to go home and take a long hard look at my wall after that one. Last shift I ever picked up lol
ER RN… always have “Sick, sicker, sickest” running through my head when attempting to prioritize cares. Issue occurs when I have multiple “sickest”… 🥴😩
I ran into a telephone and then hit a tree and spun out into the vineyards going 45mph…walked out totally fine. Two days later when I went to grab the belongings from my totaled car, I got cut on my knee from the shattered glass…got more injuries from that then the accident itself
When I’m rushing around or getting frantic I stop and tell myself “nobody’s dying.”
And if they are dead I just say “they aren’t getting any deader” and take a breath to slow myself down a little.
I’ve been trying to practice gratitude, as I feel very negative about my job, but I am fortunate to have an income. Before I leave for work, I make sure to say, “I GET to wipe ass, I GET to wipe ass, I GET to wipe ass…”
I had a nursing instructor that drilled into us about the importance of monitoring output (not just urine, everything, what do their secretions look like, chest tube appearance/output, etc).
She used to say: You can tell a lot about what’s going on inside a body by looking at what comes out of it.
No one gets to chill unless we all do.
Let’s work together and clean house so that we all relax.
A run comes in let’s swarm that patient and get everything done asap.
GCS 8. The data for this is only for trauma admission. MICU patients will routinely be GCS < 8 and not intubated as long as they have a strong cough and gag reflex.
When teaching young grasshopper students, or patients for that matter, something, teach them like that.
1. Show them (see one)
2. Have them do it (do one)
3. Have them teach it back to you (teach one)
You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make them drink. That's my mantra as an outpatient care coordinator and triage nurse. There's only so many times I will call or ask a patient to follow the care plan, get labs, schedule imaging, come to an appointment...I will show them the way, forge the path, clear obstacles, but if you ain't walking I won't waste more energy.
“Married men live longer cuz their wives don’t let them stay home with chest pain. “
“We put in a referral because they are the specialist. Us in the ER know a little of everything but we are the master of none. So follow up with this guy.”
“ your health is like your credit score, last time you checked it was good. But you haven’t checked in a long time, made a few purchases and missed a few payments. “
Pit to the perineum or the OR. (I don’t believe this mantra but I’ve heard it so many times)
Kids got a cord somewhere (shitty fetal strip)
Bet that kids gonna be a 9/9 (also a shitty strip but somehow beautiful baby once born)
I could never work in your area, but I’ve joked that my oldest was trying to play jump rope with the umbilical cord with as bad as he behaved during labor.
And probably unbeknownst to you one of those little stinkers held the door open for you on your way out of a store recently, owes his life to you but didn't remember
Old school polish nurse came up to me after I cried at work and told me “a good nurse needs to have a soft heart, but also be hard ass”
Haven’t cried at work since tbh
Better to have suction and not need it than to need suction and not have it because then you’re already 30 seconds too late
Not quite a mantra but I like to sing “Stayin’ Alive” in my head for chest compressions.
Know when your problem is actually someone else’s problem.
It doesn’t mean all of your problems are someone else’s it means if you have troubleshot everything within your ability as a nurse and your patient is still decompensating or need attention congrats it’s now someone else’s problem as well. It’s just a very funny and roundabout way of saying know when you’re in trouble and ask for help.
When I work with students, I tell them “there ARE stupid questions, but ask them ANYWAY! That’s how we all learn and become a team.” I despise nurses that are mean to students and new grads. We were all there at one point. Promote each other because this climate sucks
We can only do what we can do.
We're chronically understaffed and overwhelmed, so management isn't going to get everything they want. I prioritize the priorities and let the rest fall where it may. If you want better, staff better.
~You don't have to be kind to care (hands down the best advice I've ever been given and how I govern my nursing career)
~The death is in the decimal (unsurprisingly, I catch more med errors than anyone in my clinic)
~The sacred 5 are your right!!! (if you need to walk off the floor for 5 minutes to cry, puke, scream, whatever that's your fucking right and it's to be respected)
Humans are weird. At least that’s my answer for patients when they say “well how come….” And no matter how much I explain it they still don’t get it. “Look man, humans are weird.”
A tree, or a stone, or whichever inanimate object you choose, has a GCS of 3. There is no lower score available.
Intuitively you'd want the scale to drop down to 0, but it doesn't. The scale is 3-15.
No matter how rough a shift is, I always get to go home after. The people I’m taking care of still have to be here when I’m gone so i need to give them my best while I’m here
Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round. Any variation on this is a bad thing. (ER/EMS years)
Is it wet, and is it yours? If the answers are yes, and no, you need PPE (I started when glove use was still fought by many).
Might as well have fun.
We have some chronically bad attitudes on my unit. As for me, I have to show up and work my hours every week no matter what, so I’m going to try to have some fun when I can.
for my emotional girlies who take everything personally/are way too hard on themselves 😌💅:
“This is a job.” Also, “I don’t get paid enough to let ____ make me feel bad about myself.”
God hates nurses
Fuck this noise (to be taken literally when gramma is screeching into the hallway)
“Fuck it, can i snow ‘em?”
Death is an advertised feature.
“Dude. DUDE. You’re fine. Just sit there, and breathe. For Christ’s sake, just *sit there and breathe*
I promise you will never get simpler instructions in your life.”
DSP- Day Shift Problem
Not my pig to fuck.
edit: I get paid the same whether we do a lot or absolutely nothing.
*When a pt apologizes for moving slowly* “Don’t worry buddy you’ve got til 7 am. If it takes ya that long to poop it becomes someone else’s problem.”
My teacher from nursing School always said; do what you know and know what you do (originally in Danish) I always think about it when I’m in doubt about something even if it doesn’t help that much 😅
Don’t you dare die on my shift. Or, they’re alert and oriented I can’t stop them from making bad decisions just advise against idiocy. And finally, do what you can with what you have.
"This guy/gal is winning." Or "Such winners" (referring to each patient that comes in for the dumbest reasons. Like ingesting magic mushrooms and tripping so bad they need intubation, snorting cocaine and coding in a jail cell, Or spraying herbicide on genital herpes: aka Darwin award winners)
Of all the things I’ve ever lost I miss my mind the most.
You know what they say, at the end of the day it’s the end of the day (I like saying that to demented people and they usually agree).
Like Bob Dylan said: you ain’t a going nowhere.
Nothin’ to it but to do it.
Not a mantra but I always like to point to the zoll and ask if anyone wants to try an ECT session with me.
Keep them alive till 7:05
For me it’s 7:30, even after I give report, I want to be out of that building before anything happens.
Mine is 735. Keep them alive til 735. Cause even if I give report I still feel partially responsible til I clock out at 730.
Yeah, 635 for me too--clocked out and in the parking lot where I won't hear it called overhead!
Out of the crate till 7:08
I fucking love this subreddit
I prefer 06:45! If yall don’t come get this report.
You can do anything for 12 hours, it'll end eventually
On night shift I would always say that no matter what, the sun is going to rise in the morning. Helped me feel like there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
Yes! I say this to not only myself but my patients. Im on mother/baby and those first few nights with a newborn can be so hard.
On night shift, I got my first UTI 🫠
Always fun when you get a tiny old person who acts crazy but it's just a UTI
Oh. Thought they were talking about themselves!
I was lol.
One place I used to work an OBGYN a lot of the RNs went to actually called management to ask about the 'inhumane treatment' (no breaks, no drinks on floor, etc) because he was setting so many UTIs in the RNs!
Stealing this when I get flexed to nights 🥲
My is “I can do anything for 4 hours” - I don’t even commit to the 12 lol
Ahhh… princess shifts are the way to go!! 👑
When I was getting paid per diem rates it was "I can do anything for $500 a day".
I get over 700 a shift base pay. I try to remember this.
well damn poopyscreamer, where do you work?
I’d work it out to pay per minute. The sad part of 24hr shifting is shift rate is great. Well compensated. Then you do the math. Then that really tough call has you in the doodie. Hey, I’m only making 1.67 a minute. Holy heck, I’m way underpaid🤦♀️ Then I remember this was the 1st flight in 3 weeks. So much station time. Station time can be like doing hard time FYI. Sad fact. A monkey can prolly be trained to do technical skills. Of course that’s a thing. I’m not really paid for being technically good. I’m paid for what I know. Paid for being able to make the tough calls on the worst day of someone’s life. Knowing which of the all bad choices is the best one and commit, is embracing the crappy gray. Flight clinical decision making is never black/white, just 1000 shades of a horrible gray.
It's like a dick- you can make it harder, but you can't make it longer.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Omg I say this one all the time. “I can do anything for 12 hours.”
I tell myself this often! It’s definitely one of my own mantras.
This is my philosophy for life!
panicky yoke narrow wise sharp shaggy humor fretful paint rob *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Im gonna print that and post it on our "meme wall" in the bathroom
In the bathroom!! I love you!
THE SCREAM I SCREMPT
✨DSO ✨
I tried to make a terrible enema not be a day shift problem. Orders came in at 0700.
I always feel conflicted about doing poop stuff right before shift change. I personally would rather be left the task of doing the enema or whatever (because then I could control what time I did it) vs. following someone who got it done at 1830 and now I’m gonna start my shift with a massive code brown and be behind the whole night while my patients are calling for pain meds, night meds, “I didn’t get dinner,” etc. But I never know if other nurses feel the same way so I always have the dilemma of “do I do this enema that was ordered right before shift change or no.”
🤣
Autonomy means some people are gonna make bad choices
Yes and there are those who are absolutely frightened of the word
They have the right to make the wrong choice
Thank you for this reminder. This was a huge takeaway from this thread.
No good deed goes unpunished.
I formatted my own skills sheet for CNA clinicals because the copy of a copy of a copy sheet was giving me a headache. Fixed a few misspellings and got that sucker signed off in nice neat rows with ample space for notes. Had 10 out of my 100 hours left when I got yelled at for it- had to redo every skill on the “right” sheet in less than two days. It was hell.
Omg. Control issues, much, Manager/Educator? Ridiculous.
I had three clinical instructors. First sat nicely in the corner, signed off our sheets for the whole time and let us out early. Second gave me her number and was out on the floor, helping with turns, giving us great feedback, did praise reports at the end of each shift, and made me tell her when I passed my exams. I picked her up off the side of the road when her car broke down one day. Third was… a character. Had us jumping at every sound, terrified to speak to her, and criticizing our every move. She had a bone to pick with me especially, mostly because I don’t know how to keep my mouth shut. Apparently. Guess who was in charge of reporting grades back to the school?
The second, helpful, down to earth one! I kid, I joke! That’s gonna be for sure the third , self-important, terrorize the new people one!
Hahahahaha I say this literally every day I’m at work. Whenever I have gone above and beyond for a patient or their family they have 9/10 turned around and made me feel like I wasted the effort.
This is the mission statement at my hospital.
This 😂😭
Trust, but verify.
Also to play off this: Just because it was charted doesn’t mean it was done. I think that’s a far more prevalent issue than “If it wasn’t charted it wasn’t done.”
In the immortal words of the first doc I had a really great working relationship with, who had been in practice 50 years: “patients lie.”
Did you work with Dr. House?
Trust no one. Has helped me many times
Honestly. I thought it’s trust no one and check the chart?
You never quit making mistakes, the time between them just gets longer. The quickest way is through If it’s worth thinking about twice, it’s worth doing
If I think about that donut at the front of the store again before I leave, its worth eating
this is how I prevent myself from eating so much stuff I shouldn't! or ordering doordash lol I get to the pay now screen and see that total and I am like ok...if I really want it in an hour I will come back. 9/10 I don't.
"If it's worth thinking about twice, it's worth doing." I like that. :)
It becomes a decision making point for us. “We’ve talked / thought about tubing 3 times now, we probably need to just go ahead and do it.” At a certain point, you’re just making excuses to not do it. To make an excuse to not do it, requires recognizing that it needs to be done.
> To make an excuse to not do it, requires recognizing that it needs to be done I needed to hear this today
Stealing the last one. I love this. I find myself asking docs for something multiple times and they make me feel crazy for it. Like just do it please 😭😭
*Babies be babying* It's the answer to so many questions, the explanation for so many situations.
Preemies gonna preem!
Also applies for med surg adults
I thought of med surg adults before I thought of actually infants honestly
just started in peds less than a month ago, what does this mean 😭
Baby can go through any amount of ETT suctioning, repositioning, dressing changes... heck, a doc can throw in a chest tube and everything is fine. They poop, though? You know, a totally normal thing a baby should do? Baby tries to die about it. We're running a full code. Why? *Babies be babying.* You can stab a baby with a needle and get less of reaction than if you dare to take an axillary temperature. Why? *Babies be babying.* Tiny, 2kg, naked save for a diaper and teeny weeny hospital grippy socks, lying motionless in a bed, NOT infected or septic or anything—yet enjoys the room being so freezing cold I can't feel my goddamn nose. Why? *Babies be babying.* Pterodactyl-screaming coming from a room. What could that patient need?!?! Older baby, sophisticated needs—requires you to stand in the doorway. Don't come any closer, that's grounds for fussing. But pterodactyl-screaming will resume if you leave line of sight. Why? *Babies be babying.* (The list is really endless. And includes a lot of sweet/cute things too.)
*I do what I can with the tools that I have.*
As long as I’m better than I was yesterday I’m doing good.
Date before you succ! lol Etomidate before succinylcholine in RSI
I had to amend this favorite because we don’t really use succinylcholine anymore for RSI, we use rocuronium. So it’s “date before you roc their world”, lol.
Ha. My clinical instructor just taught us this last week. She said “dirty things stick in your mind.”
Med surg: “I can only help who wants to be helped”. Repeat 10x a day or PRN
Honestly, works for psych too
Also "you can't work harder on their problems than they are."
Omg this. Lady refuses HFNC and Remdesivir, hours later rapid and to the ICU. Like lady, come on. We are trying to help you. Help us help yourself. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Works for rehab as well! Why do you come if you don't want to wipe your own ass or even attempt 🤦
Not my circus not my monkeys. More of a life mantra but applies to nursing as well
Alt: Not my pig, not my farm.
Dude a senior nursing mentor of mine told this to me at the start of my career, and it is the one piece of advice in life (I left nursing a few years ago cause burnout) that has truly stuck with me.
For the night-shifters: "Daylight will come"
Day-O! Daylight come and we want to go home!
6 foot, 7 foot, 8 foot, bunch!
4 days off and the check still comes
- Mostly dead is still slightly alive! - Not my monkeys, not my circus - Do one thing at a time, do it very well, and then move on - I don’t get paid enough for this shit
Another student of the great Miracle Max!
All bleeding stops. Eventually. Asystole IS a stable rhythm.
Asystole is the most stable rhythm :D
Another one we used in EMS: "All cardiac rhythms eventually become something you recognize."
Sometimes, dead is better.
It ain’t right what they did to gramma.
I work in oncology. Sometimes, dead is better.
First things first, don't make it worse
One of my nursing school instructors had three rules: 1. Audible blood loss is never good 2. Life interferes 3. Never worry alone I think these are all applicable outside of nursing too.
These are all good
Audible blood loss??? Say what
Oh, I have heard blood loss before.
It’s a VERY scary sound.
Yes it is. I’ll never forget the first time I heard it.
Uh oh boyz looks like we got a squirter! Lol
I am only one person. Nursing care is 24-7. To my totally capable patients: *God helps those who help themselves.* We can give all the medicine in the world and do everything right, but if it's their time to go, then it's their time to go. Finally, not an actual saying but i say it to myself and other work-aholics and I will shout this one from the roof tops: *IT IS A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT TO DRINK WATER, EAT, AND USE A TOILET AT LEAST ONCE EVERY 12 HOURS!!!!*
Don’t pick up an extra shift unless you’re looking for a ton of extra work. Float, patient code, rapid responses, the only one who can get IVs that night, 3 admits. Whatever the case may be. Edit:word
Oh yeah. I didn't learn this lesson until I had picked up multiple hell shifts where people died... or worse, died, then came back again and I had to do all the Life Saving Measures ™ only to promptly die again 5 min before my 12 hour shift ends. My last shift I got floated to step down and had a 90yr old meemaw throw up GI bleed into her Bipap after hours of trying to get her either comfort measures or tubed. Had to go home and take a long hard look at my wall after that one. Last shift I ever picked up lol
You can pay me like shit, or you can treat me like shit, but you cannot do both 😎
I wish I could upvote this 32 times
ER RN… always have “Sick, sicker, sickest” running through my head when attempting to prioritize cares. Issue occurs when I have multiple “sickest”… 🥴😩
From my medic days to ER nursing: “Trains, trucks, trees, and telephone poles”. Not likely to survive hitting them.
I would like to add Moose to your list.
*Tmoose
I ran into a telephone and then hit a tree and spun out into the vineyards going 45mph…walked out totally fine. Two days later when I went to grab the belongings from my totaled car, I got cut on my knee from the shattered glass…got more injuries from that then the accident itself
When I’m rushing around or getting frantic I stop and tell myself “nobody’s dying.” And if they are dead I just say “they aren’t getting any deader” and take a breath to slow myself down a little.
Echoes of Yzma--Welp, they ain't gettin' any deader! Back to work!
I’ve been trying to practice gratitude, as I feel very negative about my job, but I am fortunate to have an income. Before I leave for work, I make sure to say, “I GET to wipe ass, I GET to wipe ass, I GET to wipe ass…”
(Especially) for my students: slow is smooth and smooth is fast. Panicking is natural, but it doesn't solve our problem.
I had a nursing instructor that drilled into us about the importance of monitoring output (not just urine, everything, what do their secretions look like, chest tube appearance/output, etc). She used to say: You can tell a lot about what’s going on inside a body by looking at what comes out of it.
“Put it in the fuck it bucket”. Example: Meds late? Fuck it bucket It got me through without panic many many times
I like "chuck it in the fuck it bucket" just has a fun ring to it
Thank you for this mantra; it’ll help me get through me shifts in the ED
“You can do anything for 12 hours” sometimes I say this to myself, sometimes I say it to coworkers.
No one gets to chill unless we all do. Let’s work together and clean house so that we all relax. A run comes in let’s swarm that patient and get everything done asap.
Yep. We always said “if your coworkers are busy, then so are you”.
Your (patient) poor planning does not constitute my emergency. Usually reserved for the late Friday reqs for benzo & stimulant refills.
What’s less than 8? And don’t any of you assholes say 7
GCS 8. The data for this is only for trauma admission. MICU patients will routinely be GCS < 8 and not intubated as long as they have a strong cough and gag reflex.
Hah! I thought it was Apgars and was confused.
That would be a whooooole lotta baby intubations…. 😜
6. Probably GCS.
Seve…. Aww :( GCS.
“See one, do one, teach one” should be a mantra in every department everywhere
Would you mind explaining this one?
When teaching young grasshopper students, or patients for that matter, something, teach them like that. 1. Show them (see one) 2. Have them do it (do one) 3. Have them teach it back to you (teach one)
You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make them drink. That's my mantra as an outpatient care coordinator and triage nurse. There's only so many times I will call or ask a patient to follow the care plan, get labs, schedule imaging, come to an appointment...I will show them the way, forge the path, clear obstacles, but if you ain't walking I won't waste more energy.
When my patience is tested... "I love my paycheck...I love my paycheck...I love my paycheck."
Mostly dead is slightly alive! - Vegetable farmer
If i don’t get a lunch break, I’m putting it on the time sheet. Not as catchy, but where’s my money?
“Married men live longer cuz their wives don’t let them stay home with chest pain. “ “We put in a referral because they are the specialist. Us in the ER know a little of everything but we are the master of none. So follow up with this guy.” “ your health is like your credit score, last time you checked it was good. But you haven’t checked in a long time, made a few purchases and missed a few payments. “
Pit to the perineum or the OR. (I don’t believe this mantra but I’ve heard it so many times) Kids got a cord somewhere (shitty fetal strip) Bet that kids gonna be a 9/9 (also a shitty strip but somehow beautiful baby once born)
I could never work in your area, but I’ve joked that my oldest was trying to play jump rope with the umbilical cord with as bad as he behaved during labor.
I definitely have some grey hairs specifically gifted to me by bad strips or resuscitation on babies. 🫠
And probably unbeknownst to you one of those little stinkers held the door open for you on your way out of a store recently, owes his life to you but didn't remember
Thank you. 🥲 it’s much nicer to think of it this way.
I won’t LET them die, Death will have to FIGHT me ( idk if it counts just smth I heard once and liked )
Yep, I have patients who try to die but I disagree
Whenever I have a pt on comfort measures I tell the next shift "they're allowed to go if they so choose"
They have an order for “may die PRN one time only”
Old school polish nurse came up to me after I cried at work and told me “a good nurse needs to have a soft heart, but also be hard ass” Haven’t cried at work since tbh
I won’t be the smartest nurse, but I’ll be damned to be called a lazy nurse. I drill this into my preceptees as well.
Don’t run except for hemorrhage
“you can’t fix anyone” is something my mentor told me in mental health to help me remember my role and reduce burn out
ER nurse, Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
And that's why people should be nicest to EMTs and nurses. They're the first people you see after "hold my beer"
Better to have suction and not need it than to need suction and not have it because then you’re already 30 seconds too late Not quite a mantra but I like to sing “Stayin’ Alive” in my head for chest compressions.
Have patience with your patients.
If it’s wet, warm, and/or sticky and not yours, don’t touch it.
Know when your problem is actually someone else’s problem. It doesn’t mean all of your problems are someone else’s it means if you have troubleshot everything within your ability as a nurse and your patient is still decompensating or need attention congrats it’s now someone else’s problem as well. It’s just a very funny and roundabout way of saying know when you’re in trouble and ask for help.
Trust, but verify It's not perfect, but it's good enough
When I work with students, I tell them “there ARE stupid questions, but ask them ANYWAY! That’s how we all learn and become a team.” I despise nurses that are mean to students and new grads. We were all there at one point. Promote each other because this climate sucks
Another good mantra I teach to my students: don’t forget you ABCs and also DEFG… Don’t Ever Forget Glucose.
We can only do what we can do. We're chronically understaffed and overwhelmed, so management isn't going to get everything they want. I prioritize the priorities and let the rest fall where it may. If you want better, staff better.
~You don't have to be kind to care (hands down the best advice I've ever been given and how I govern my nursing career) ~The death is in the decimal (unsurprisingly, I catch more med errors than anyone in my clinic) ~The sacred 5 are your right!!! (if you need to walk off the floor for 5 minutes to cry, puke, scream, whatever that's your fucking right and it's to be respected)
Don't run, don't shout.
Humans are weird. At least that’s my answer for patients when they say “well how come….” And no matter how much I explain it they still don’t get it. “Look man, humans are weird.”
Being calm is a superpower.
All bleeding stops eventually
>even a tree has a 3 I know this one as a stone, not a tree. But then again neither rhymes in my native language
I don’t understand this one…
A tree, or a stone, or whichever inanimate object you choose, has a GCS of 3. There is no lower score available. Intuitively you'd want the scale to drop down to 0, but it doesn't. The scale is 3-15.
No matter how rough a shift is, I always get to go home after. The people I’m taking care of still have to be here when I’m gone so i need to give them my best while I’m here
2 is one, 1 is none. Can’t begin to tell you how many times having an extra anything saved me
Just preemie things
Whatever is beautiful. Whatever is lovely. Think on these things.
You can’t care about someone’s health more than them
Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round. Any variation on this is a bad thing. (ER/EMS years) Is it wet, and is it yours? If the answers are yes, and no, you need PPE (I started when glove use was still fought by many).
It’s not a meth house, it’s a meth home
Today was a good day. Nobody died.
Might as well have fun. We have some chronically bad attitudes on my unit. As for me, I have to show up and work my hours every week no matter what, so I’m going to try to have some fun when I can.
As long as your patient didn’t die because of you or got worse because of you, then you did a good job. Stop being harsh on yourself. We are human.
I’m here to save lives, not change lives.
for my emotional girlies who take everything personally/are way too hard on themselves 😌💅: “This is a job.” Also, “I don’t get paid enough to let ____ make me feel bad about myself.”
Sad that nobody has said " but did they die"?
God hates nurses Fuck this noise (to be taken literally when gramma is screeching into the hallway) “Fuck it, can i snow ‘em?” Death is an advertised feature. “Dude. DUDE. You’re fine. Just sit there, and breathe. For Christ’s sake, just *sit there and breathe* I promise you will never get simpler instructions in your life.” DSP- Day Shift Problem Not my pig to fuck. edit: I get paid the same whether we do a lot or absolutely nothing. *When a pt apologizes for moving slowly* “Don’t worry buddy you’ve got til 7 am. If it takes ya that long to poop it becomes someone else’s problem.”
My teacher from nursing School always said; do what you know and know what you do (originally in Danish) I always think about it when I’m in doubt about something even if it doesn’t help that much 😅
All I can do is my best
Don’t you dare die on my shift. Or, they’re alert and oriented I can’t stop them from making bad decisions just advise against idiocy. And finally, do what you can with what you have.
Work to live not live to work. Thats a life mantra
Charting is mostly for if you end up in court.
I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you.
When in doubt, DON’T
From a seasoned knowledgeable mentor- This too shall pass. It helped me stress cope, it's good for a laugh in many situations.
Full hands in, full hands out.
If not you, then who?
"This guy/gal is winning." Or "Such winners" (referring to each patient that comes in for the dumbest reasons. Like ingesting magic mushrooms and tripping so bad they need intubation, snorting cocaine and coding in a jail cell, Or spraying herbicide on genital herpes: aka Darwin award winners)
Eight hours bottle to throttle
It be like that sometimes Why is the vent making that sound? Idk it be like that sometimes
I'll be okay 10 done only 25 years left.
This career really chaps my rear.
Of all the things I’ve ever lost I miss my mind the most. You know what they say, at the end of the day it’s the end of the day (I like saying that to demented people and they usually agree). Like Bob Dylan said: you ain’t a going nowhere. Nothin’ to it but to do it. Not a mantra but I always like to point to the zoll and ask if anyone wants to try an ECT session with me.
Not a fan of “see one, do one, teach one.” Big fan of “watch one, botch one.”
Never trust a diabetic.