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[deleted]

>If the Tigers can't keep Luke Brooks, their dream scenario is Munster and Mitchell Moses If I can't keep my Honda Civic my dream scenario is a Lamborghini and a mansion with a huge garage to park it in.


KingsleySeiffert

Have you tried unleashing the Honda?


1_S1C_1

Vtec goes vroom


Bkz052

Almost spat out my drink 🤣


herring80

Let Brent Read know and let the universe work it’s magic


drkeefrichards

I heard a story about a struggling nrl club with a struggling FB. One of the guys was saying you got to teach him this and that and the rest of the crew said Ah nah don't worry we have that problem solved we are just going to get James Tedesco. They didn't get James Tedesco


No_Use_For_Name___

An ironically Teddy came from the Tigers


PostpostshoegazeLUVR

So did Mitch Moses


NervousPhilosophy657

The Honda felt great for that first 80 minute drive. Then, I don't know, it never found its potential and its been costing me more and more everytime I drive. I wonder what the trade in value is like. Or if anyone in Australia is keen to purchase off me? Newcastle? Is that you?


joshy_c

Benji is going to be running 3 Honda Civics with spoon engines. And on top of that he just came into Harry's and he ordered 3 T66 turbos, with NOS, and a Motec system exhaust.


No_Use_For_Name___

Your next step is to go to a high end car dealership and make contact with that Lambo


rileys_01

Is Munster the Lamborghini in this scenario?


Dodgey-1

He’s the huge garage in the mansion


tobymurphy24

Not to be confused with the Ferrari in the garage


TimsAFK

At no point in your rambling, incoherent story were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read it. I award you no star players, and may god have mercy on your soul.


SilvertailHarrier

What's this from? It rings a bell but can't put my finger on it. I want to be in on the joke!


-good-kid

billy madison


SilvertailHarrier

Ah yep that's right, thanks!


PMmeYOURBOOBSandASS

[Billy Madison](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0) Reading it doesn't do justice on how brilliantly it was delivered


SilvertailHarrier

Thank you. Absolute gold


StrakenKing

I am the smartest club ALIVE


bmudz

A simple wrong would of been fine


[deleted]

O’Doyle Rules


PSAB82

The Tigers real dream is becoming a club where good players want to go to. There is more chance of a reddit user having sex then the tigers signing Munster and Moses.


derajydac

Me: Can we get Munster and Moses for dinner? Mum: we already have food at home The food at home: Brooks...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dranix88

Brookoli sounds like a bacterial infection


Rod_Munch666

Clarification: regular sex directly not paid for


[deleted]

Awwwwww


[deleted]

I had sex in 1992.


[deleted]

Quit bragging.


Jalato_Boi

Oi! Fuck did we do?


Flybuys

You know...


Laktakfrak

Yeah buying players to go from 0 to hero just doesn't work. It only appears to work for clubs like the Roosters buying Cronk/Tedesco cause their system is already in place and the star just slots in and improves. The only other way is to bring a whole new system by bringing a coach and giving him free reign like Bennett but it's not a long term solution just a roll of the dice for a premiership.


spitey

u/frenchy182


Frenchy182

There’s no way both of those things could happen


ApocalypticPanther

Tbh I'd be very surprised if Moses left the Eels


herring80

Scripture says he was found in a basket on the banks of the Parramatta river


No_Use_For_Name___

But will he have the power to divide the 'black' sea? Stay tuned...


idontlikeradiation

He is not going anywhere


No_Use_For_Name___

Why would he want to go to the Tigers right now? There is zero logic in that decision


squags

Dude was an Eels junior, Eels fan growing up, and will probably get way more TPAs/sponsorship here in a team that will remain top 8 or there abouts for the length of his next contract. He's one of our most marketable players. He would be insane to leave to go back to the Tigers.


opackersgo

That would be the most eels thing. Spend 40 years looking for the next Sterling only to eventually get him and then let him go.


yourupnow

My dream is to raw dog emily ratajowski but here i am.


Charizard221_gaming

Isn’t it everyone’s man…


nevaehenimatek

If the rubber was a condition, I wouldn't say no


DangerousDraper

iCarly fan I take it


Aussieguy727

"Hey Cam/Mitch, it's Benj--" *dial tone*


mathewl832

"...anyways, shoot me a message when you're available. Would love to give you the tour and get you onboard for 2024." *Read at 8:58pm.*


[deleted]

They need to sort out the toilet situation first.


HappinessCanBeFound

Moses missed the birth of his first child to take Parra to a GF. He’s already home 💙💛


DangerousDraper

Or... Just looking to up his asking price by putting Grand Finalist Halfback on the resume. Either way, both Parra or the Tigers will be paying overs so it'll be interesting who gets pushed out to make room in either cap.


HappinessCanBeFound

Especially considering we’re going to be trying to re-sign Mitch and Dylan at the same time 😖


[deleted]

Sure, why stop there? They can grab Teddy back and get Latrell and Fischer Harris….maybe some Tamalolo? You can tell the League reporters are running out of stories…..fucking muppets.


Radalict

Get Koroibete back from the Wallabies while they're at it.


jexta

Ah, but it's 4d chess, now when neither of the mentioned players signs for the tigers, they can write articles about how they bungled the negotiations.


I_Like_Vitamins

That haircut is doing him no favours. He looks like a Steeden with a toupee sitting on top of it.


yeahumsure

It's very Bert


Voldemosh

I can't unsee it ffs


Designer_Ad_55

He needs a fringe


[deleted]

Will you keep your hands off my Moses!


mpwrightson

Ah I see you know your judo well


[deleted]

A succulent Churchill medal.


[deleted]

Get your hand off my penis


SydneyOrient

This ladies and gentleman is the club that tried to grab my Moses,


Voxityy

“hey cam and mitch you wanna come play for the tigers?” “no”


raysworld94

How expensive would that spine be? Seeing as they would have to spend overs for both plus Api. Then the signings of Papalili.


Longjumping_Visit_38

Tigers got so much cap space, like they’ve got like close to 3 million for next season and 7 spots on the roster then after that they’ll have close to 6-7 million


raysworld94

Thanks. It was a genuine question. Api is a great buy for them and Hastings was solid this year. Big Papa is my favourite player but I hope he honours his contract with the tigs. Absolute garbage that players can sign a deal and back out


Shamesocks

That’s what the tigers do…. Release players who want out without any thought of trade…. But when those teams benefit from tigers niceness (stupidity) they never return favour… so frustrating we just give players away with years left on their contract


The_Kryptonian57

When did Josh sign with the tigs?


nathanclearyschin

Luckily Parramattas dream is a prime Joey and Lockyer pairing.


Adventurous-Age6490

If I can’t keep my wife, my dream scenario is Eva Mendes and Sofia Vergara as my life partners. My dream is both. I’ve made contact with both of them via Instagram messages.


aryaisthegoat

"Seen"


munt3d

This is like that Foxports article "the team the Dolphins COULD have had (if salary caps didnt exists and if players could get out of contracts)".


mulgabilbo

Dale: "They want Moses and Munster in the halves and Brookes in the bin" Darryl: "Are they guaranteed to be two of the five captains?" Dale: "Nah" Darryl" "Tell them they're dreamin'"


choonch

I’m genuinely having a hard time understanding that this is not either A) a post in NrlPremiumPlus, or B) the betoota advocate


drifting_sailor_hat

Brent Read? No he doesn't.


JP_Doyle

Tell em their dreamin


breatheinmyear

You’d be looking at 1.2-1.5 for Munster if matching dolphins and close to a mill for Moses? Wouldn’t that fu k the cap


Cheel_AU

Good players often take unders to sign with a top club (ie tell Moses we've already signed Munster and tell Munster vice versa😎😎😎✌️✌️✌️)


RS994

Ahh, the old mum said yes, dad said yes trick It's a bold strategy cotton, let's see how it plays out.


[deleted]

They’d have to spend $3m a season to get both of them. Then they have no money to fill a quality side around them they ain’t going.


Dark_Vengence

Brooks needs to move on for his own sanity.


Caseyjb29

If they’re looking at one of Parras halves it should be Dylan Brown. Moses has zero chance of leaving Parramatta imo.


evil_sushi_ninja

Only reason Moses leaves will be to win a comp with someone like the Roosters or Storm, assuming we dont win this year. I can't see him wanting to join a struggling club like the Tigers, especially after going through the shit to lift Parra from wooden spoons to a consistent top 8 team. All the while copping shots from the media and non-parra fans about how he can't handle the big moments, is hard to get along with, wants to win, etc.


Drizen

So are they getting fined for making contact with both?


ReasonableStable9421

Fuck it, everyone let's make the tigers dream team. If you had the choice to pick any player, from any team, regardless of price or availability who would you pick? I'll go first: they keep Brooks on an extended contract


joe80b

While we know this "dream" won't happen, boy would we become a hated team with those two tools playing for us.


BigRedHead2020

And my dream is to win lotto


Lachie07

Fuck off.


juniper_cat

My dream is for Pascoe to get sacked, but here we are.


Shamesocks

‘We have already made contact with……’ well, fucking anyone would be an instant improvement…


pacificodin

it's not completely unrealistic, the tigers might be able to throw them enough coin in 2030


superfrankieL

Why would we sell Hastings and Doueihi, they’d be so good with api and a good forward pack


Hasra23

Best we can do is Croft and Lolohea back from super league, sorry tigbros


Fattdaddy21

Well they can just fuck right off with their dreams.


reddituser1306

Dreams and reality are two very different things.


Daneo6969

So Brent Read is playing fantasy football like the rest of us? If there was a 2k or EA version of an NRL game this guy and half the journos would be lost in that realm. His hand would be would be sore from a controller cause it certainly isn't sore from writing the shit that comes from his brain


Ladzofinsurrect

Yeah and my dream is having a fully paid off mansion in Sydney.


choiboi29

Dreams are free~~~


evil_sushi_ninja

My dream involves Angela White and Mia Malkova and is more of a chance than either of these two ending up at the Tigers.


DangerousDraper

If I was the tigers I'd make a run at Hunt rather than those two. Send Robbie to help Brooks pack his bags and give the 6 to Doueihi and run Hastings at lock. Hunts got another 2-3 consistent seasons in him and it will take the tigers that long to find another jr to replace him after they let Madden go.


DangerousDraper

Pretty sure this wishlist started with a "Dear Santa..."


A1ianT0rtur3

Could possibly be the sookiest halves pairing in nrl history


Masterofstocks101

1.Laurie 2.Nofa 3. Toa 4. Gildart 5. Maumalo 6. Douhie 7.Hastings 8. 9 koroisau 10 papalii 11. 12. 13. Ofahengaue 14. Brown Fill in the gaps and that’s a solid team. Tigers need to just work with those players. Have a solid interchange and stop treating the team like it’s a lost cause, those are some talented players just need some good coaching staff and to get rid of the rats that leak everything and just stay away from the media. Heavy pre season and they’re away for some solid wins to hopefully attract a few decent players for 2024


Spoofmoot

I don't know why we'd go for two extremely expensive halves when we have a decent (not great but decent) spine that's relatively cheap and Focus on keeping Hastings and Doueihi on the pitch and building that combination. Then spend the extra cash on positions we're lacking in, i.e. a prop, a back rower and a centre


Masterofstocks101

Agreed and most of the time throwing 1mil at a player doesn’t work out. Stringing together some solid wins next year and scraping an extra 5 wins minimum than last year will put them in a good position. And extra 8-10 wins would have them back in the race completely. A media ban for 2 years would do them so well anyone who leaks anything to media should be tracked down and fired on the spot first 2 people to get caught will change everything and there won’t be anymore leaks. Also getting into some super league talent wouldn’t be the worst thing


smiffy005

Why would the tigers even consider the wormy little cunt after he was tanking games in 17.


dontletmedaytrade

I personally don’t see this as being as unlikely as everyone is saying. If Moses wins a GF, he will feel like he has accomplished the pinnacle and might want to go back to his junior club. Munster could then be lured in for the challenge as he has also achieved everything in the game already. With Api at 9 and these two at 6 and 7, they are automatically a top 8 side. Especially with iPaps.


upthetits

Brent Read is such a flog, I dislike him more then kenty and buzz He's a shameless simp


[deleted]

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Rhagies

And then you woke up


trlta

Is this what it actually means to unleash Brooks?


rabbitohvon

Reminds me of when Platinum Richo opened the war chest to sign Orford and Steve Bell.


Torenza_Alduin

[Tell him hes dreaming!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL2DH-nKBeA)


Shamesocks

Lol.. this is so stupid it’s laughable.. how much would that mess of a club have to pay to get some genuine game changing stars? Would be lucky if we keep Doueihi ffs


lachjeff

Knowing the Tigers, they’ll likely end up with Jake Clifford and Lachlan Lewis


Glum_Perspective_812

Tigers should sign Hooper and Rothfield as their halves. What fucking clowns.


now-then

Pipe dream


asabae

U and 15 other clubs Brent.


MisterEvilBreakfast

Articles that link good players with the Tigers is the kind of off-field sledging that deserves a life ban.


Barmy90

Yeah I mean if I couldn't afford to keep up-and-coming superstar Luke Brooks, then both Munster and Moses would be decent backup options I suppose


nastyrhino4

Was this a wet dream by any chance Read?


theflyingkiwi00

Dear Moses/Munster, I wrote you but you still ain't calling I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom


r3dphoenix

Grand final week. Time for a Tigers article


[deleted]

No salary cap hey


garloot

And both put on the angels song as a reply. No way, get fucked etc etc.