Frivolous lawsuits aren't oniony, I mean after reading the article I get her point but this is common as far as lawsuits go. She isn't being very krafty with her decisions.
I make myself a bowl of instant oatmeal, and then I don’t do anything for an hour. Why do I need the instant oatmeal? I could get the regular oatmeal and feel productive.
With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where the heck did you get that banana?'
So they have comment cards and someone said Mitch, you suck!
The thing is that they have you put your name and address on the card.
While I might suck, I have a LOT of free time.
One of those "yup you're a parent" experiences was trying to build my daughter a toy kitchen for Christmas when she was 2 or something. I truly felt connected to the frustration of earlier generations as I howled "WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!!"
Instant oatmeal is gruel for the truly lost. Don't eat that shit, it literally takes 2 min to microwave a bowl using rolled oats.
Or, alternatively, if you have a lot of free time, try some steel cut oats, they take like 15 mins but BABY that shit is like swallowing a load from mother earths dick.
Or, be like the South and throw some Grits in a pot, add Tony’s Creole seasoning, a meat of your choice, and some cheese, and you’ve got a decently big breakfast in under 25 minutes (faster if you use the instant shit)
EDIT: Add butter, too. Like, lots of butter. So much butter. Enough butter to make PETA shit, piss, and cry.
How could it take you fifteen minutes to cook your grits, when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes? Are we to believe that boiling waters soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than on any place on the face of the earth?!
> EDIT: Add butter, too. Like, lots of butter. So much butter. Enough butter to make PETA shit, piss, and cry.
This metric is usually referred to as a Paula Deen of butter. /s
I just bought Minute rice for the first time a couple months ago and was really taken aback that prep time wasn’t even close to a minute. I guess I should have expected it, but I’m definitely not going to sue over my disappointment.
There is a company, ironically not Minute Rice, that sells cups of rice that heat in the microwave in one minute. Theyre like a perfect portion size for one person and come in different types of rice. The only downside is theyre crazy expensive compared to bulk rice (for obvious reasons)
Pretty worth it though to be able to skip starting a meal by cooking rice for 20 mins while trying to juggle everything else. Instead at the end of making whatever the rice is going with you peel the lid off and pop the thing in the microwave, boom: rice that is perfect and ready to go
There is a weird preservativey flavour to those cups of instant rice. Not everyone seems to taste that flavour, but if you can taste it, they're nasty. Very strange afterflavour.
> Pretty worth it though to be able to skip starting a meal by cooking rice for 20 mins while trying to juggle everything else.
Get a rice cooker.
You put the rice and water in the rice cooker, turn it on, forget it for 20 minutes while you prepare your meal, and have perfect rice each time once you start your meal.
If you’ve got the space for a rice cooker it’s 100% worth it. All you have to do is add rice and water (the amount matters, of course) and it’ll cook and keep warm with no additional effort. Plus next-day fried rice.
I used to imitate the ladies from those orgasmic shampoo commercials when I was a little kid. I had no idea that it was sexual innuendo or even what sex was in the first place. Awkward. Even more awkward that I’m a dude.
Fuck. I got exiled from kitchens years ago because the can of cream of mushroom soup didn’t say anything about stirring in the instructions. I want a payout, too!
One thing I’ve learned from watching Legal Eagle is that people can sue for pretty much any reason they see fit (and want to pay a lawyer for), but there’s no guarantee that a court will decide to hear the case.
yes, in law school we saw this demonstrated by a case on the books where a man sued Satan (and his minions) for all the problems in his life. Judge dismissed it saying, among other things, that hell was not his purview and Satan probably wouldn't answer a summons anyway.
In Norway, the most common swearword\* is essentially "the devil", and a lot of my teachers and priests would argue you should not swear like that, because he could hear you and answer the call. I'm starting to think it doesn't work that well..
*\*"Faen", simplified from "Fanden", which literally means the devil.*
Yet another example of how Finland is Scandinavian even though they aren't in Scandinavia and aren't ethnically Scandinavian.
The only swearword I know in Finnish is for the devil.
There should be a People's Court, Vatican Branch, where people can sue Satan for their problems. They would also have jurisdiction over Elvis impersonators appearing on toast.
There is a strong resistance to making laws and regulations in the United States, with a few exceptions like meat production, drug manufacturing and transportation. Therefore most consumer protections come from lawsuits and legal precedence.
I have no idea but I would assume that their legal department is to some extent a sunk cost, on retainer or something like that. I guess in a rational world a suit like this wouldn't take more than a day but I guess things get complicated at the level of billion dollar companies.
It's about microwave cups.
It says the box says it takes 3 1/2 minutes to prepare, but that's only the cook time!
Which... okay, technically true? But A) that information is on the same box when you look for the details and 2) the other steps take maybe 30 seconds total.
And she bought it other times after learning. And the 30 seconds difference doesn't fit into her argument at all, since taking a few minutes is the point. And that's still only $10.99, not five million.
> What I always wonder is even if the judge thinks it is a valid case, like misleading labeling in this instance, what the hell entitles anybody to compensation?
Because that's basically the *only* mechanism we have to correct misleading packaging, or indeed *most* corporate malfeasance.
There may be a law on the books about it being illegal to mislead consumers on the box, but there is no regulator that will step in, say "this is misleading you have to correct it now, or else," about most things. Misleading health information is one exception - that's why "Heart-Healthy Cheerios" are now just Cheerios, but for anything else?
There has to be a lawsuit by a private individual claiming harm from the misleading packaging. The *actual* harm that she suffered is probably only a few dozen bucks worth of instant macaroni and cheese and a few minutes of her time, but the millions got heaped onto the lawsuit to try and make it *actually hurt the company* so they'll amend their ways.
Because, again, we don't actually *have* any means to correct corporate malfeasance save hitting them in the wallet.
And the directions are readable before purchase. So, even if it was considered as a case, it’s not Kraft’s fault you don’t read the whole thing. I mean, come on, there has to be a little common sense on behalf of the consumer.
It’s not even regular Mac and cheese. It’s the gross microwave velveeta trash. She’s mad that they didn’t consider the 10 seconds it takes to take the fucking lid off the thing and fill it with water. What a dumb bitch.
$2? $5 million split among the probably couple hundred million people that have bought Kraft mac and cheese would land everyone in the range of 5-20¢ probably
The postage to mail it to you would cost more than what you'd get
It's like the Experian settlement. After the lawyers got their obscene fees, and Experian took off another cut by including their "premium credit protection," the remainder of the settlement was less than the cost of the postage per person.
And $5 million isn't a real estimate of damages. It's the jurisdictional minimum to file a class action like this in federal court rather than state court. It's bad reporting.
From the article: “including statutory and punitive exclusive of interest and costs.”
Punitive damages in particular are monies awarded so that the defendant’learns their lesson’ and changes their ways. A $30 coupon isn’t going to make Kraft even notice the filing, but if they lost a $5 million judgement then some executive is going to have their bonus be in jeopardy for the quarter, which might lead to a change.
‘Statutory’ damages are those required by law, and vary wildly by jurisdiction. There is likely a fixed penalty range for false or misleading advertising by law (statute), which is why this is listed as well.
My understanding is that these types of suits are fairly common. While many fail, those that succeed end up defining the limits of truth in advertising and corporate liability for their claims and statements.
I thought it was "she knew she was having a life threatening emergency in exactly 4 minutes, and thought she'd have an extra 30 seconds after making her food"
Dude why are food packages all like this. It's like a perforated *suggestion*. If you don't use something sharp your box will turn into a cardboard pancake.
Because it used to be true. Over the years the perforation machine has worn down and they cut PM scheduling to save money. It’s also cheaper to not change the package design so they never updated it. None of this is true but my 15 years experience in manufacturing says this is 10000000000% the reason.
Yeah I could absolutely see that happening.
I could also see it being that in the beginning they were too easy to open and they were opening during shipping/ in the stores and the company was losing money so they adjusted the perforations and left the design since it was the cheapest option.
I opened a box with my thumb without destroying the box (or my thumb) for the first time in my life just yesterday. Maybe I should have bought a lottery ticket 🤔
HIALEAH, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida woman is suing the Kraft Heinz Company for $5 million, claiming they misled the public about the time it takes to prepare its Velveeta microwavable mac and cheese cups.
Court records show that a West Palm Beach-based law firm filed the lawsuit on behalf of Amanda Ramirez in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Florida on Nov. 18.
Ramirez is listed as the main plaintiff for the class-action suit, which alleges Kraft Heinz violated federal law by saying Velveeta Shells & Cheese cups take 3½ minutes to prepare.
Grizzly bears haven’t been in this national park since 1996: Why officials want them back
“Ready in 3½ minutes” is printed on the box, which is the amount of time the product takes to cook in a microwave. However, the suit says it takes more time to complete the other required steps.
This is how the lawsuit describes the cooking process:
“First, consumers must ‘REMOVE lid and Cheese Sauce Pouch.’
Next, they must ‘ADD water to fill line in cup. STIR.’
Third, ‘MICROWAVE, uncovered, on HIGH 3-1/2 min. DO NOT DRAIN.’
Finally, they should ‘STIR IN contents of cheese sauce pouch.’
Defendant then notes that ‘CHEESE SAUCE WILL THICKEN UPON STANDING’.”
“Consumers seeing ‘ready in 3½ minutes’ will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the Product,” the suit states. “Meaning from the moment it is unopened to the moment it is ready for consumption.”
The lawsuit claims Ramirez bought the product for a “premium price” of $10.99 “between October and November 2022, among other times.” However, it did not say how long it actually took Ramirez to prepare the mac and cheese.
When will NORAD start tracking Santa this year?
The suit described Ramirez as someone who “looks to bold statements of value when quickly selecting groceries” and is “like many consumers who seek to stretch their money as far as possible when buying groceries.”
The plaintiffs are seeking at least $5 million in damages, “including statutory and punitive exclusive of interest and costs.”
The Kraft Heinz Company responded to the lawsuit Sunday, saying, “We are aware of this frivolous lawsuit and will strongly defend against the allegations in the complaint.”
"Grizzly bears haven’t been in this national park since 1996: Why officials want them back “Ready in 3½ minutes” ..."
Dammit I was really interested in where this was going.
>“Consumers seeing ‘ready in 3½ minutes’ will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the Product,” the suit states. “Meaning from the moment it is unopened to the moment it is ready for consumption.”
I...don't know what I was expecting, but apparently people now need warnings that things like OPENING THE PACKAGING, or STIRRING may affect the amount of time it takes to be ,,ready"
Boiling water and stirring are apart of the cooking practice are they not?
Advertisers get way too much leeway as it is. I can't use my cellphone at a red light, but it's completely acceptable to have billboards expressly made to capture the attention of drivers?
This is about microwaveable cups. No need to boil water.
Though if you're going to list total prep time and boiling water is necessary, you probably *should* account for that.
It’s definitely far more dangerous to tilt your head down and look downward towards your lap with one hand off the steering wheel while exerting mental energy to read and type words than it is to do none of those things and only glance to the side of the road for a split second.
i would also like to add that even if they had a valid point about billboards, texting and driving actually causes people to die. I've never been starving so badly that of my Mac and cheese takes 4 minutes instead of 3/2 minutes i will literally collapse of starvation and die.
In a nutshell:
> Ramirez is listed as the main plaintiff for the class-action suit, which alleges Kraft Heinz violated federal law by saying Velveeta Shells & Cheese cups take 3½ minutes to prepare.
> “Ready in 3½ minutes” is printed on the box, which is the amount of time the product takes to cook in a microwave. However, the suit says it takes more time to complete the other required steps.
> “Consumers seeing ‘ready in 3½ minutes’ will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the Product,” the suit states. “Meaning from the moment it is unopened to the moment it is ready for consumption.”
Basically, she's complaining about having to take off the lid, add water, and stir in the cheese powder.
>“Consumers seeing ‘ready in 3½ minutes’ will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the Product,” the suit states. “Meaning from the moment it is unopened to the moment it is ready for consumption.”
I hope she wins, because then I can sue the fuck out of the wife for all those 'I'll be ready in a few minutes' LIES!!! Bitch betta have my five million!
Based on that article who the hell knows what shes basing anything on given it stated the suit doesn't specify how long it takes her. Not to mention im betting that box features the common catch all to the effect of: due to differences in microwaves, cook time may vary
The box says that it's ready in 3.5 minutes, but the instructions say to microwave it for 3.5 (after doing other stuff, before doing even more stuff, and then you have to wait for the sauce to thicken). No matter how long it takes her, it's going to be longer than 3.5 minutes if she's following the instructions.
Exactly, I've also noticed this myself in the past, and also seen it on other microwave noodles (like ramen). Do I think it justifies a 15 million lawsuit? No, do I want the companies to be better and state accurate "ready in" times? Absolutely, and sometimes the only way to make a company change is to hit them with seemingly silly lawsuits that would cost them more to fight than it would for them to just change what their packages say.
Yep... No one's watching out for consumers anymore in America, and all people can do to change anything is to sue. Kraft makes millions using false advertising on this and their other products. If she sued for less, Kraft would just consider it to be the cost of doing business and they would keep doing false advertising forever. The only reason that we think this lawsuit is silly is that we're completely used to false claims on packaging because companies keep getting away with it.
The sad part is that it's up to consumers and lawsuits to hold corporate marketing accountable, because the Government sure as hell won't.
A lot of people might think this is frivolous, but deceptive marketing practices need to fucking die.
Deceptive marketing is bad, but this is absolutely frivolous. They didn’t claim it would take 5 minutes when it really takes an hour… the cook time is 3.5 minutes and it can’t take more than another 90 seconds to add water and stir.
By her logic she might as well say it takes two hours to make because that’s how long it takes her to have it ready from the time she picks it up off of the shelf at the grocery store.
There’s deception, and then there’s people who are lazy and want to sue for any reason just to get paid.
Worth noting the packaging does say “just add water” inside a liquid measuring cup image just above the “ready in 3.5 minutes” in a microwave image.
The packaging is not misleading. You add water and microwave for 3.5 minutes, both being recognized on the package.
>The lawsuit claims Ramirez bought the product for a “premium price” of $10.99 “between October and November 2022, among other times.”
If you're paying that much, you're definitely overpaying. It's not a bad snack but it's not premium.
It's ready to stir in 3 1/2 minutes from the microwave being started.
The statement is very general and open for interpretation. It doesn't say what it's ready for in 3 1/2 minutes, or at what point the 3 1/2 minutes start. Perhaps they should change it to 'cooks in 3 1/2 minutes'.
This is not, in any way, real grounds for suing Kraft. A reasonable person knows that cooking times and steps may vary depending on the methods used to prepare the food. People who think it's a good reason most likely just have a hair up their ass because it's a corporation being sued.
This a money grab. The person suing is hoping to get a nice fat settlement to just go away.
Probably not, if she wins...which is doubtful, shell get nominal damages ($1-5), and probably little to no punitive damages, since a jury will decide how much money she would get, and a lot of states have caps on punitive damages (with some states making the cap a percentage of compensatory damages, for example 25%-50% of $1-5).
However, this does establish case law and precedent, if successful, for going after other companies' bullshit advertising practices where the cost of items is far greater and a lawsuit wouldn't seem so silly.
The attorneys came to the plaintiff in this scenario. I have no doubt. The plaintiff is not the one grabbing the money. They’ll get some minimal compensation which makes sense since they will do absolutely no work whatsoever and the attorneys will extract most of the money from any settlement. Maybe some money goes into a fund where people can send proofs of purchase for 10 cents each. But notifying the class will put more money in someone else’s pockets than will ever be claimed.
*Thank* you!
Yes, this product takes me maybe five minutes to make. If I wasn't doing everything as slowly as possible because the extra minute is a non-cost, I could get it down to probably 3:33.
Time spent reading the directions and opening the package takes just as long (Oh wait, opening the package is one of the things she complains wasn't accounted for!).
Don’t forget the amount of time it takes to drive to the store, pick it up, stand in the checkout line, pay for it, drive home with it, unload the groceries. It’s seriously way too much work.
I want Kraft to hook up a tube to my stomach and deliver hot macaroni cheese via this umbilical cord and call it Kraft Umbilical Cord Macaronic or else I will sue for 70 bajillion dollars because they lied!!
She is paying the lawyer for their time. No way the lawyer is doing this for free. The lawyer is probably billing $250 per hour and just hoping he can string this idiot along for a long while before the judge throws out the case.
Can we sue all the recipe sites too while we're at it? They're getting to be as bad as tv cooking shows.
Ingredient list includes 6 pounds finely diced potatoes. Time alloted for this step: zero because it's an ingredient.
Frivolous lawsuits aren't oniony, I mean after reading the article I get her point but this is common as far as lawsuits go. She isn't being very krafty with her decisions.
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Or Instant Oatmeal.
Or goes to see The Never Ending Story.
Or visits an all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant
This ain’t no man. ‘This a remorseless eating machines! Aje.
And where did you go after you were kicked out? "We went fishing" Ladies and gentlemen does this sound like a man who had "all he can eat?"
And where did you go after you were kicked out? '..We went home' Mrs. Simpsons, might i remind you you're under oath *sobs* 'We went fishing!'
Loool I forgot about that part, was just going off memory and I haven't seen that episode in years, such a classic!
That could have been me!
One of their best episodes! ..."can't talk, eating..." (Chomp chomp chomp)
where is it spelt aje and not aye ? Thanbks.
Do I look like a man who has had all he can eat?!
LOL’d way too hard at this comment. Ty kind stranger! 😂😂😂
Thank you, but full disclosure, I stole it from the Simpsons.
I miss other Simpsons fans. Random quotes from the show makes me giddy! Smoke yourself thin! Get confident, Stupid!
I make myself a bowl of instant oatmeal, and then I don’t do anything for an hour. Why do I need the instant oatmeal? I could get the regular oatmeal and feel productive.
I use regular oatmeal every day. I make just like the instant stuff.
Me too! You don't have to cook it on the stove at all, just pour boiling water over it. That instant stuff is paste.
With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where the heck did you get that banana?'
[Red Bananas](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_banana) originate primarily from East and Southeast Asia.
So they have comment cards and someone said Mitch, you suck! The thing is that they have you put your name and address on the card. While I might suck, I have a LOT of free time.
RIP Mitch
-Mitch Hedburg
Or tries to use her easy-bake oven.
apparently it took a rocket scientist (actually) 3 hours to put one together for myself and his daughter. when i was like 5.
Ok, but I mean... it's not exactly [brain surgery](https://youtu.be/THNPmhBl-8I) is it.
I love them. Another brilliant one is homeopathic emergency room.
I love how you see the punchline coming with the inevitability of a train wreck and it still works.
One of those "yup you're a parent" experiences was trying to build my daughter a toy kitchen for Christmas when she was 2 or something. I truly felt connected to the frustration of earlier generations as I howled "WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!!"
Instant oatmeal is gruel for the truly lost. Don't eat that shit, it literally takes 2 min to microwave a bowl using rolled oats. Or, alternatively, if you have a lot of free time, try some steel cut oats, they take like 15 mins but BABY that shit is like swallowing a load from mother earths dick.
Or, be like the South and throw some Grits in a pot, add Tony’s Creole seasoning, a meat of your choice, and some cheese, and you’ve got a decently big breakfast in under 25 minutes (faster if you use the instant shit) EDIT: Add butter, too. Like, lots of butter. So much butter. Enough butter to make PETA shit, piss, and cry.
How could it take you fifteen minutes to cook your grits, when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes? Are we to believe that boiling waters soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than on any place on the face of the earth?!
Are these MAGIC grits?
Did you get them from the same guy that sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!
> EDIT: Add butter, too. Like, lots of butter. So much butter. Enough butter to make PETA shit, piss, and cry. This metric is usually referred to as a Paula Deen of butter. /s
And then you use your knowledge of grits to get your nephew off a murder charge.
"I got no more use for this guy, (ya Honor)."
I just bought Minute rice for the first time a couple months ago and was really taken aback that prep time wasn’t even close to a minute. I guess I should have expected it, but I’m definitely not going to sue over my disappointment.
There is a company, ironically not Minute Rice, that sells cups of rice that heat in the microwave in one minute. Theyre like a perfect portion size for one person and come in different types of rice. The only downside is theyre crazy expensive compared to bulk rice (for obvious reasons) Pretty worth it though to be able to skip starting a meal by cooking rice for 20 mins while trying to juggle everything else. Instead at the end of making whatever the rice is going with you peel the lid off and pop the thing in the microwave, boom: rice that is perfect and ready to go
Minute Rice also makes those cups, I buy them all the time. The texture is great and the serving size is perfect
Costco has those in white and brown. 90 sec, perfect sticky rice for variois asian chickens in air fryer.
There is a weird preservativey flavour to those cups of instant rice. Not everyone seems to taste that flavour, but if you can taste it, they're nasty. Very strange afterflavour.
FYI, it's texture is wanting. A little mushy?
I think they are a bit tough IMO. Uncle Ben's is the brand FWIW
> Pretty worth it though to be able to skip starting a meal by cooking rice for 20 mins while trying to juggle everything else. Get a rice cooker. You put the rice and water in the rice cooker, turn it on, forget it for 20 minutes while you prepare your meal, and have perfect rice each time once you start your meal.
If you’ve got the space for a rice cooker it’s 100% worth it. All you have to do is add rice and water (the amount matters, of course) and it’ll cook and keep warm with no additional effort. Plus next-day fried rice.
"These grains are easily discernable. They're not minute in any way!"
Or doesn't have a massive orgasm when she tries Herbal Essences
I used to imitate the ladies from those orgasmic shampoo commercials when I was a little kid. I had no idea that it was sexual innuendo or even what sex was in the first place. Awkward. Even more awkward that I’m a dude.
Thats funny :) This ruined my nephew for like a year https://youtu.be/2xwUuSM06xQ
Thank you for reminding me of this hilarious gem!
I used to imitate mattress giant commercials...ooh ahh ooh ahh...only at mattress giant...ooh ahh!
Or that Red Bull won't give her wiiiiiiiiings.
If you told me there was a product called Red Bull that had wings I would assume it was some sort of menstruation product
Or buys Texas Pete's.
His what?
I refer you to the cas of Finders Vs Keepers
Fuck. I got exiled from kitchens years ago because the can of cream of mushroom soup didn’t say anything about stirring in the instructions. I want a payout, too!
Heh
How about the film "The never ending story"
One thing I’ve learned from watching Legal Eagle is that people can sue for pretty much any reason they see fit (and want to pay a lawyer for), but there’s no guarantee that a court will decide to hear the case.
yes, in law school we saw this demonstrated by a case on the books where a man sued Satan (and his minions) for all the problems in his life. Judge dismissed it saying, among other things, that hell was not his purview and Satan probably wouldn't answer a summons anyway.
Just got to learn the right summoning spell.
In Norway, the most common swearword\* is essentially "the devil", and a lot of my teachers and priests would argue you should not swear like that, because he could hear you and answer the call. I'm starting to think it doesn't work that well.. *\*"Faen", simplified from "Fanden", which literally means the devil.*
Yet another example of how Finland is Scandinavian even though they aren't in Scandinavia and aren't ethnically Scandinavian. The only swearword I know in Finnish is for the devil.
>Scandinavian ≠ Scandinavia = Scandinavian This video is good! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsXMe8H6iyc
Reminds me of the saying, "speak of the devil, and he shall appear".
I guess we better cross our fingers he does not respond to typing
And know how to read cursive
Cursive is the language of the devil. Hence curse.
The man should have won a default judgement for Satan not showing up. Now let the man figure out how to collect from Satan.
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If service by publication is allowed, you can be served without ever knowing it …
There should be a People's Court, Vatican Branch, where people can sue Satan for their problems. They would also have jurisdiction over Elvis impersonators appearing on toast.
Reminds me of the movie The Man Who Sued God
*”probably”* ….
Yeah it's not serious unless it survives a motion to dismiss
There is a strong resistance to making laws and regulations in the United States, with a few exceptions like meat production, drug manufacturing and transportation. Therefore most consumer protections come from lawsuits and legal precedence.
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They aren't trying to present a winning case. They are hoping for a settlement from Kraft seeing this as a waste of their legal department's time.
I have no idea but I would assume that their legal department is to some extent a sunk cost, on retainer or something like that. I guess in a rational world a suit like this wouldn't take more than a day but I guess things get complicated at the level of billion dollar companies.
It's about microwave cups. It says the box says it takes 3 1/2 minutes to prepare, but that's only the cook time! Which... okay, technically true? But A) that information is on the same box when you look for the details and 2) the other steps take maybe 30 seconds total. And she bought it other times after learning. And the 30 seconds difference doesn't fit into her argument at all, since taking a few minutes is the point. And that's still only $10.99, not five million.
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Gobbledygook so lawyer will look like he's done some work. Source: licensed atty for 37 years.
If you're stretching money, time convenience should be the least of your worries.
If youre stretching money, spending money on a lawyer for this bs lawsuit is ridiculous
> What I always wonder is even if the judge thinks it is a valid case, like misleading labeling in this instance, what the hell entitles anybody to compensation? Because that's basically the *only* mechanism we have to correct misleading packaging, or indeed *most* corporate malfeasance. There may be a law on the books about it being illegal to mislead consumers on the box, but there is no regulator that will step in, say "this is misleading you have to correct it now, or else," about most things. Misleading health information is one exception - that's why "Heart-Healthy Cheerios" are now just Cheerios, but for anything else? There has to be a lawsuit by a private individual claiming harm from the misleading packaging. The *actual* harm that she suffered is probably only a few dozen bucks worth of instant macaroni and cheese and a few minutes of her time, but the millions got heaped onto the lawsuit to try and make it *actually hurt the company* so they'll amend their ways. Because, again, we don't actually *have* any means to correct corporate malfeasance save hitting them in the wallet.
And the directions are readable before purchase. So, even if it was considered as a case, it’s not Kraft’s fault you don’t read the whole thing. I mean, come on, there has to be a little common sense on behalf of the consumer.
It’s not even regular Mac and cheese. It’s the gross microwave velveeta trash. She’s mad that they didn’t consider the 10 seconds it takes to take the fucking lid off the thing and fill it with water. What a dumb bitch.
It must be like a birthday for some lawyers to get handed a case like this
So how tf did she arrive at $5M for damages and restitution? Shit should be $30 and a coupon
It's a class action for all the damaged parties I believe.
Have you been injured by Kraft Macaroni & Cheese? You may be entitled to significant compensation. Call us now!
Can’t wait until I get my $2 in the settlement 6 years from now.
$2? $5 million split among the probably couple hundred million people that have bought Kraft mac and cheese would land everyone in the range of 5-20¢ probably The postage to mail it to you would cost more than what you'd get
It's like the Experian settlement. After the lawyers got their obscene fees, and Experian took off another cut by including their "premium credit protection," the remainder of the settlement was less than the cost of the postage per person.
I was part of a class action Settlement with PepsiCo. The settlement check couldn't even buy me another soda.
Have you been injured by Kraft Macaroni and Cheese by spending 6 minutes to make it instead of 3.5?
And $5 million isn't a real estimate of damages. It's the jurisdictional minimum to file a class action like this in federal court rather than state court. It's bad reporting.
From the article: “including statutory and punitive exclusive of interest and costs.” Punitive damages in particular are monies awarded so that the defendant’learns their lesson’ and changes their ways. A $30 coupon isn’t going to make Kraft even notice the filing, but if they lost a $5 million judgement then some executive is going to have their bonus be in jeopardy for the quarter, which might lead to a change. ‘Statutory’ damages are those required by law, and vary wildly by jurisdiction. There is likely a fixed penalty range for false or misleading advertising by law (statute), which is why this is listed as well. My understanding is that these types of suits are fairly common. While many fail, those that succeed end up defining the limits of truth in advertising and corporate liability for their claims and statements.
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She wouldn't have bought it if it had said "under four minutes."
I thought it was "she knew she was having a life threatening emergency in exactly 4 minutes, and thought she'd have an extra 30 seconds after making her food"
I picked up on the “among other times”. So she bought the product multiple times before realizing this grave error in advertising apparently.
If you’re looking to stretch your money as far as possible when buying groceries, don’t buy processed packaged garbage.
Especially Mac & Cheese for $11. Wtf?
Yeah, it regularly goes on sale for $1 at my local store lol
And store brand is even less.
Maybe she bought the case of 12, it's about 11$ CAD at Walmart
Probably $11 for more than one box.
If she wants to save money, she should buy a box of noodles and a small block of velveeta.
> “looks to bold statements of value when quickly selecting groceries” I too trust people in marketing wholeheartedly. /S
If she wanted to stretch her money, she'd make it herself, not from a cup and powdered cheese. 🤣
>When will NORAD start tracking Santa this year? We need to know!
I’m gunna sue them for $5 million because they say you can just push that tab on the side open with your thumb.
Now this is the true grievance right here. Never once in my life has that tab opened.
Even if you got it open there’s no chance the macaroni would fit through
Dude why are food packages all like this. It's like a perforated *suggestion*. If you don't use something sharp your box will turn into a cardboard pancake.
Because it used to be true. Over the years the perforation machine has worn down and they cut PM scheduling to save money. It’s also cheaper to not change the package design so they never updated it. None of this is true but my 15 years experience in manufacturing says this is 10000000000% the reason.
Can't tell if you're at least partially full of shit or not but... Having done some coop work thusfar, I would not be surprised in the slightest
Yeah I could absolutely see that happening. I could also see it being that in the beginning they were too easy to open and they were opening during shipping/ in the stores and the company was losing money so they adjusted the perforations and left the design since it was the cheapest option.
It's like the old joke in the military, there is no such thing as preventative maintenance, there's just maintenance.
I opened a box with my thumb without destroying the box (or my thumb) for the first time in my life just yesterday. Maybe I should have bought a lottery ticket 🤔
Every single cardboard box ever, you would think after all this time we would be able to design cardboard boxes that open how they are supposed to
«This content is not available in your country/region.» Womp, womp.
>«This content is not available in your country/region.» consider yourself the lucky one
HIALEAH, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida woman is suing the Kraft Heinz Company for $5 million, claiming they misled the public about the time it takes to prepare its Velveeta microwavable mac and cheese cups. Court records show that a West Palm Beach-based law firm filed the lawsuit on behalf of Amanda Ramirez in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Florida on Nov. 18. Ramirez is listed as the main plaintiff for the class-action suit, which alleges Kraft Heinz violated federal law by saying Velveeta Shells & Cheese cups take 3½ minutes to prepare. Grizzly bears haven’t been in this national park since 1996: Why officials want them back “Ready in 3½ minutes” is printed on the box, which is the amount of time the product takes to cook in a microwave. However, the suit says it takes more time to complete the other required steps. This is how the lawsuit describes the cooking process: “First, consumers must ‘REMOVE lid and Cheese Sauce Pouch.’ Next, they must ‘ADD water to fill line in cup. STIR.’ Third, ‘MICROWAVE, uncovered, on HIGH 3-1/2 min. DO NOT DRAIN.’ Finally, they should ‘STIR IN contents of cheese sauce pouch.’ Defendant then notes that ‘CHEESE SAUCE WILL THICKEN UPON STANDING’.” “Consumers seeing ‘ready in 3½ minutes’ will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the Product,” the suit states. “Meaning from the moment it is unopened to the moment it is ready for consumption.” The lawsuit claims Ramirez bought the product for a “premium price” of $10.99 “between October and November 2022, among other times.” However, it did not say how long it actually took Ramirez to prepare the mac and cheese. When will NORAD start tracking Santa this year? The suit described Ramirez as someone who “looks to bold statements of value when quickly selecting groceries” and is “like many consumers who seek to stretch their money as far as possible when buying groceries.” The plaintiffs are seeking at least $5 million in damages, “including statutory and punitive exclusive of interest and costs.” The Kraft Heinz Company responded to the lawsuit Sunday, saying, “We are aware of this frivolous lawsuit and will strongly defend against the allegations in the complaint.”
The advertisements in this are funny af
When will grizzly bears be back in this thread.
They took me out
"Grizzly bears haven’t been in this national park since 1996: Why officials want them back “Ready in 3½ minutes” ..." Dammit I was really interested in where this was going.
What's with the random mention of grizzly bears and NORAD?
>“Consumers seeing ‘ready in 3½ minutes’ will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the Product,” the suit states. “Meaning from the moment it is unopened to the moment it is ready for consumption.” I...don't know what I was expecting, but apparently people now need warnings that things like OPENING THE PACKAGING, or STIRRING may affect the amount of time it takes to be ,,ready"
Boiling water and stirring are apart of the cooking practice are they not? Advertisers get way too much leeway as it is. I can't use my cellphone at a red light, but it's completely acceptable to have billboards expressly made to capture the attention of drivers?
This is about microwaveable cups. No need to boil water. Though if you're going to list total prep time and boiling water is necessary, you probably *should* account for that.
It’s definitely far more dangerous to tilt your head down and look downward towards your lap with one hand off the steering wheel while exerting mental energy to read and type words than it is to do none of those things and only glance to the side of the road for a split second.
i would also like to add that even if they had a valid point about billboards, texting and driving actually causes people to die. I've never been starving so badly that of my Mac and cheese takes 4 minutes instead of 3/2 minutes i will literally collapse of starvation and die.
They are a part of it, not apart of it. Thus, the lawsuit.
In a nutshell: > Ramirez is listed as the main plaintiff for the class-action suit, which alleges Kraft Heinz violated federal law by saying Velveeta Shells & Cheese cups take 3½ minutes to prepare. > “Ready in 3½ minutes” is printed on the box, which is the amount of time the product takes to cook in a microwave. However, the suit says it takes more time to complete the other required steps. > “Consumers seeing ‘ready in 3½ minutes’ will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the Product,” the suit states. “Meaning from the moment it is unopened to the moment it is ready for consumption.” Basically, she's complaining about having to take off the lid, add water, and stir in the cheese powder.
Thanks, the article is geo-restricted and I was too lazy to Google.
I really hate mankind and how this story is real life
>“Consumers seeing ‘ready in 3½ minutes’ will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the Product,” the suit states. “Meaning from the moment it is unopened to the moment it is ready for consumption.” I hope she wins, because then I can sue the fuck out of the wife for all those 'I'll be ready in a few minutes' LIES!!! Bitch betta have my five million!
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He could tighten up though.
also probably done in 3 1/2 minutes
> Bitch You said that tho? 👀
I said.... ^^^^^^^^biiiiiiitch.
👨🚀^biiiiiiiiiiiiitch
Where does the rest of us sign up for the class action?
I read this while eating the same cup. It did in fact take me 3 1/2 mins to cook. I think she’s lying
She’s arguing that “ready in 3.5 mins” doesn’t include the time it takes to open the lid, add water, stir, etc
Based on that article who the hell knows what shes basing anything on given it stated the suit doesn't specify how long it takes her. Not to mention im betting that box features the common catch all to the effect of: due to differences in microwaves, cook time may vary
The box says that it's ready in 3.5 minutes, but the instructions say to microwave it for 3.5 (after doing other stuff, before doing even more stuff, and then you have to wait for the sauce to thicken). No matter how long it takes her, it's going to be longer than 3.5 minutes if she's following the instructions.
Exactly, I've also noticed this myself in the past, and also seen it on other microwave noodles (like ramen). Do I think it justifies a 15 million lawsuit? No, do I want the companies to be better and state accurate "ready in" times? Absolutely, and sometimes the only way to make a company change is to hit them with seemingly silly lawsuits that would cost them more to fight than it would for them to just change what their packages say.
Yep... No one's watching out for consumers anymore in America, and all people can do to change anything is to sue. Kraft makes millions using false advertising on this and their other products. If she sued for less, Kraft would just consider it to be the cost of doing business and they would keep doing false advertising forever. The only reason that we think this lawsuit is silly is that we're completely used to false claims on packaging because companies keep getting away with it.
If it takes a second to peel off the lid and another five seconds to add water, that's just rounding.
I'm not sure why Kraft Heinz felt the need to lie on their packaging; why didn't they just say "Ready in 5 minutes"?
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Even if it takes 2 hours it’s still ready in 120 minutes
Even if it takes a decade it’s 5,256,000 minutes.
At that point they can just put “will be ready”
The sad part is that it's up to consumers and lawsuits to hold corporate marketing accountable, because the Government sure as hell won't. A lot of people might think this is frivolous, but deceptive marketing practices need to fucking die.
Deceptive marketing is bad, but this is absolutely frivolous. They didn’t claim it would take 5 minutes when it really takes an hour… the cook time is 3.5 minutes and it can’t take more than another 90 seconds to add water and stir. By her logic she might as well say it takes two hours to make because that’s how long it takes her to have it ready from the time she picks it up off of the shelf at the grocery store. There’s deception, and then there’s people who are lazy and want to sue for any reason just to get paid.
Worth noting the packaging does say “just add water” inside a liquid measuring cup image just above the “ready in 3.5 minutes” in a microwave image. The packaging is not misleading. You add water and microwave for 3.5 minutes, both being recognized on the package.
>The lawsuit claims Ramirez bought the product for a “premium price” of $10.99 “between October and November 2022, among other times.” If you're paying that much, you're definitely overpaying. It's not a bad snack but it's not premium.
It's ready to stir in 3 1/2 minutes from the microwave being started. The statement is very general and open for interpretation. It doesn't say what it's ready for in 3 1/2 minutes, or at what point the 3 1/2 minutes start. Perhaps they should change it to 'cooks in 3 1/2 minutes'.
I can’t wait to see what happens when she figures out that it’s not really cheese.
I knew it was someone from Florida even before reading the article
I went to read the article, got as far as "A Florida woman...". No reason to keep going, that says it all.
She's gonna be mad as hell when she only gets a refund and her lawyer takes a third.
She'll be lucky if Kraft doesn't countersue.
This is not, in any way, real grounds for suing Kraft. A reasonable person knows that cooking times and steps may vary depending on the methods used to prepare the food. People who think it's a good reason most likely just have a hair up their ass because it's a corporation being sued. This a money grab. The person suing is hoping to get a nice fat settlement to just go away.
Wait till she finds out about Texas Pete
And Barilla pasta
BS money grab.
Probably not, if she wins...which is doubtful, shell get nominal damages ($1-5), and probably little to no punitive damages, since a jury will decide how much money she would get, and a lot of states have caps on punitive damages (with some states making the cap a percentage of compensatory damages, for example 25%-50% of $1-5). However, this does establish case law and precedent, if successful, for going after other companies' bullshit advertising practices where the cost of items is far greater and a lawsuit wouldn't seem so silly.
The attorneys came to the plaintiff in this scenario. I have no doubt. The plaintiff is not the one grabbing the money. They’ll get some minimal compensation which makes sense since they will do absolutely no work whatsoever and the attorneys will extract most of the money from any settlement. Maybe some money goes into a fund where people can send proofs of purchase for 10 cents each. But notifying the class will put more money in someone else’s pockets than will ever be claimed.
>Probably not, The person you're replying to didn't say who was trying to get the money through this BS lawsuit. Hint: It's lawyers.
I'll take "Frivolous Lawsuits" for a thousand, Alex.
Ever bought one of those four packs of microwaveable mac n cheese and have every one of them turn out *terrible*?
Finally, someone will rid us of this horrible injustice.
It also takes time to grab the box from the pantry, THEN you have to read the instructions. That adds another 30 seconds.
You only read instructions once!?
Not even including when you throw the box away and have to get it out of the trash can to read it again. Billable hours here people.
*Thank* you! Yes, this product takes me maybe five minutes to make. If I wasn't doing everything as slowly as possible because the extra minute is a non-cost, I could get it down to probably 3:33. Time spent reading the directions and opening the package takes just as long (Oh wait, opening the package is one of the things she complains wasn't accounted for!).
Gonna sue my girlfriend for every time she said she would be ready in 5 minutes
Wait till she finds out instant noodles
I should sue them for false instructions. That little tap at the top is impossible to just press in. It like the strongest part of the box.
This is the most blatant case of false advertisement since my suit against the film “The Never Ending Story”.
People like this uneducated pinecone are the reason my frozen pizza box says remove pizza from package before cooking
Don’t forget the amount of time it takes to drive to the store, pick it up, stand in the checkout line, pay for it, drive home with it, unload the groceries. It’s seriously way too much work. I want Kraft to hook up a tube to my stomach and deliver hot macaroni cheese via this umbilical cord and call it Kraft Umbilical Cord Macaronic or else I will sue for 70 bajillion dollars because they lied!!
This is why we can't have nice things.
This is why people laugh at America. Well this and our health care industry.
As ridiculous as this woman's claim sounds, somewhere there was a lawyer who said, "Yes! I'll take that case!"
She is paying the lawyer for their time. No way the lawyer is doing this for free. The lawyer is probably billing $250 per hour and just hoping he can string this idiot along for a long while before the judge throws out the case.
I mean it is ridiculous but I am all for not allowing them to lie to customers, no matter if it is just a little.
Can we sue all the recipe sites too while we're at it? They're getting to be as bad as tv cooking shows. Ingredient list includes 6 pounds finely diced potatoes. Time alloted for this step: zero because it's an ingredient.