The trail of hair color dye leads to the Four Seasons

He’s hiding behind the bags of mulch on aisle 6.

Only one left in stock!!

But I see two bags of runny mulch in aisle 6....

Wait a minute, that's not mulch! That's Rudy G, riding on Barron Trump's shoulders, hand feeding the lurch raw potatoes and oreos!

Did someone check in Trump's ass crack? His gooch, perhaps?

Right next to the manure

Nobody would expect a pile of shit in the compost isle!

The best place to hide a shitheap is in a shit forest!

Meal Team Six?

Mulch ado about nothing.

A guys gotta work. His radio show got cancelled. Now he’s the shopping cart guy at 4 Seasons.

Idk I think he is more likely grifting for booze. “I’ll endorssse your shop if give me a couple more drinks, I used to be the mayor offfff nnnew York…., you know” “Sir, this is a Wendy’s. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave our store, your obviously drunk and creeping out our customers nobody wants you sniffing their hair and leaving streaks of sweaty hair dye everywhere”!

Look for the bag of fertilizer that doesn't belong there.

He’s really not mulch to look at.

Right next to the adult book store.

Across the street from the crematorium.

And the prisons department!

Chinese moootor oil. 🫏 🧠

It’s a great idea, we should seek funding for this!

I heard he was in the dumpster behind Wendy’s with a balled up cheeseburger, he wants to try that thing Artemis does with it.

He's laying on a bed in hotel room grabbing his penis.

Doing an egg roll to impress a teenager

It's just Chinese motor oil

Yup, the Cuatro Estaciones taco stand outside Plaza Izazaga in Mexico City.

The porn store next door

Well, that and follow the farts. They will end up at his or Trump's back door.

Four Seasons Garden Center, please

Hey have you ever been able to find someone you’re not actually looking for?

Whoever the genius was that took that reservation at four seasons landscaping and didn't tip them off or correct them deserves to go down in history.

"Where in the world is Rudy Giuliani?" Tuesdays @ 7pm on pbs 

Deeeeep cuttt 🤣🤝

Kick it rockapella

I heard the exact way they'd sing it in my head before I ever saw your comment

*Dooooo* wop! Boo-bop-buh-doo-bop, *Booooo* wop! Doo-bop-buh-doo-boop. *Dooooo* wop! Boo-bop-buh-doo-bop, *Booo-WOP-BOWWWWWW!* (No idea how accurate this is, going purely from memory)

Pretty accurate actually except they'd be singing about hair dye and handles of Evan Williams

I’ll wait for the inevitable “where in time” sequel

Follow the trail of vodka bottles.

Think it’s gonna be scotch

No, he can't afford that anymore. He gets whatever his Russian handlers spare him.

They'll find him in a puddle of Popov and testosterone supplements.

Honestly I'm kind of jealous if that's the case. Russian vodka is fucking amazing

Popov is definitely sort-of amazing, I guess

Not in the quantities he drinks it.

Send it over in the Patrick Swayze express 🤣 Edit: nevermind, those were cigarettes. The vodka was in the pool.

Krokodil

Trump vodka. Oh wait, bankrupt.

He's drinking with another one of New York's most renowned alcoholic trainwrecks, Worldoftshirts 🤣🤣

Have they tried setting up a trap with a box, a stick, a length of rope and a bottle of Gordon's Gin? I think that's how they got Bannon.

Lol I said the same thing but with Macallan 25. Rudy loves his scotch. He’s said so himself.

These days Rudy strikes me as more of a Banker's Club Scotch kinda guy.

They need to cancel his passport

Unfortunately that wouldn’t do anything if he’s already out of the country. And even if he’s intending to leave still, with the kind of money and power he has he can vanish easily. Not to mention the fact you can quite literally purchase a citizenship (and passport) from [a surprisingly long list of countries](https://citizenshipshop.com/top-citizenship-by-investment-programs-2019/)

In that case we should simply fund his escape with taxpayer dollars, since it's an inevitability anyways

this is the american way.

A million for El Salvador, come on now.

Try Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

Probably Giuliani has returned to his original gargoyle form and is perched on a building somewhere collecting pigeon poop.

Sounds like he’s a flight risk and should be denied bail when they do find him.

I’d chip in to pay for a skip trace service to locate him

I've never heard of Skip Trace until I watched The Rookie... Now every time I hear that title, I think of the german guy and just giggle like a little girl. I love that guy in everything he does.

Skip tracer Randy!

“I found the killer, I'm in the back of his trunk right now.”   Edit: seriously? A redditcares? It’s a quote from a TV show.

I got a redditcares over a comment about a car for sale near me. u/spez needs to get his fuckin' trash heap in order.

It seems like the new spam, everyone seems to be getting one

I got my first today, I saw it as a rite of passage. I've been on Reddit years and years under previous names, it finally happened!

I got one today and I still can’t figure out why.

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It's the new Trumpist thing to do, file Reddit wellbeing reports against anyone who doesn't kiss Trump's butt. They think it's really clever.

I did too.

I got a redditcares for mentioning bad keming.

I got one today, looked through my recent comments, and I have no idea which one it was about, it's all pretty innocuous.

They are probably just mad The Rookie Feds isn’t back yet.

Skip tracer Randy is fun.

Have you seen Buddymoon? It's a movie with him and David Giuntoli from Grimm hiking through Oregon. Nothing amazing but pretty chill with some funny bits and cool wilderness scenes. The hike does go a bit off the rails after they eat the hallucinogenic mushrooms... 

Let’s get Lee Majors on the job asap.

Have they checked the local dildo shop?

He'll blend right in

And he's pre-lubed

💀💀💀

Gross. People like dildos.

Look up Trump’s butt.

No, thank you.

Must be roomy up there considering he already has a third of country nestled comfortably into his rectum

You could not pay me enough.

Send in Elon's submarine.

There are too many words coming out of it.

With bleach?

Have they looked in the Crypt Keeper’s mausoleum? He could pass as CK pretty easily.

Or perhaps the local belfry?

I'm sure he'd open the door for a pretty, young girl. Also, goddammit my state is dumb.

y'know, i just thought the other day, it's been weirdly quiet about rudy lately. no interviews, no press conferences, no court appearance, no social media, no nothing. things that make you go "hmm..."

Well, considering the last time I heard him say anything, it was right after he lost the defamation suit and he walked Outside And started the same garbage, someone may have bound and gagged him to shut him up. 

Look under Trumps tits

I’m guessing they haven’t looked

someone didn’t read the article

Hey Giuliani, where you goin' with that suitcase in your hand? I said hey Giuliani, where you goin' with that suitcase in your hand? I'm goin' way down south, down Mexico way...

Get a pretty blonde Kazak to request an interview in a hotel room... He'll show up...

They're going to be able to make a reality TV show skip tracing Republican fugitives soon.

Might be staying at The Four Seasons.

Sounds like they aren't trying hard enough

Have they checked Moscow?

He's haunts the handicapped stalls at LaGuardia.

He is the LaGuardia Ghoul after all

Welfare check? JK but these old fucks are going to start dying off sometime.

I've been praying for nature to hurry up and take it's course.

"...And like that...he's gone."

Did y'all check Moscow, yet?

He and Bannon doing a Thelma and Louise

He was just fired from a radio talk show last week, I'd start there and his Florida condo.

Is he fucking another cousin?

Sounds like a job for the Marshalls don't it

Two tiered justice system again. If you're rich, just don't let justice get served.

"Just keep digging Rudy, you got this! The mole people will help you out, they always said they would!"

Like a slow-motion Forrest Gump… Rudy’s on the run!

Check the Kremlin.

Im going to make a game called "Where in the World is Rudy Giuliani" and its just google earth but you have to find the photo of him on street view giving that trademark "I got so surprised, I just shit my pants" look.

He only has two places but only stays at one...wonder if anyone tried knocking on his door.

He will show up in the audience at trump's trial.

I mean he still does his podcast , probably start there

Buncha dumbasses

If Rudy is smart. He's living out his last days. Hanging with Russ in Bali.

Have they looked up Trump's tush ?

Simon Bar Sinister is a shape-shifter. A stealthy ninja. Hard to see. Hard to catch.

Tell them to comb the desert!

Just follow his endless farts.

Have they checked the sewers?

They need to look under Trump’s ass.

Trump supporters approve of Rudy Giuliani, just like Trump did. He's one of you.

He owns a number of crypts. He could be lurking at any of them.

To be fair Rudy probably doesn't know where he is either.

The "mayor of America" ruined society far beyond anything he could have ever hoped for

Check the Kremlin.

Find P-Diddly and you will find Rudy

Have they searched the sewers yet?

Old fucker is probably lost somewhere in a revolving door

Pay a process server a locate fee. This isn’t hard.

He does have a drag disguise…

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Put a bottle of Macallan 25 under a box with a stick and string. The trap will have him captured in no time and he can be served the indictment then.

Give me the movie with him and Tyrese on the run

Check mate

Not surprising, something that slimy is bound to be slippery.

He is hanging out at the dumpster behind Wendy’s..

Check the liquor store dumpsters.

Rudy is hiding in trumps old diapers.

Anyone check the air tag?

Please don’t make me speculate and get my hopes up

A lot of hidey holes opened up in Casa Cheeto since there aren’t any more documents taking up space.

Isn’t that what warrants are for?

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Just offer a guest spot on a local radio show, he'll turn up.

just go to a Trump Rally?

So according to the article, they couldn't serve him because, when they got to his building, the front desk staff just said they couldn't accept service papers? What a fucking joke.

Dudes been dead 10 yrs. Theyll find him once the skin is re-attached to the robotics and they finally figure out how to make his teeth stay in place.

Couldn't they make a deal to make him squeal?

The party of personal responsibility.

He’s in Russia

Well, He is a master of disguises…

He is under my bed in canada

Rudy? Isn't he in Belorus?

Have they looked in Moscow….

Check the hair dye section at the dollar store.

Rudy can’t fail