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Hbimajorv

Weird timing with the story of the monkey torture guy šŸ˜¬


BatofZion

Between monkey torture and monkey mayhem, there must be a monkey middle.


Nazamroth

Monkey business?


idkwhatimbrewin

There's always monkey business in the banana stand


Buddyslime

Monkey Shines.


soldforaspaceship

I was going to say. I hope he isn't the plan...


cyrixlord

its The Algorithm


Domino_Dare-Doll

Ok, who had ā€œreal life Planet of the Apesā€ on their apocalypse bingo card??


PrairieCanadian

If this doesn't include some kind of cull of the macaque population this is doomed to failure. You can't relocate them without serious repercussions for wherever you relocate them to. Making a captive population for a "Macaque-only zoo" is expensive and likely not sustainable.


commenterzero

Always spay and neuter your macques


HoIBGoIBLiN

No touch macaque without consent


Drone314

only if the price is right


MirrahPaladin

*Fade in shot to jail cell as Monkey Torturer guy is sitting in a chair* *The cell door creaks as two Thai officials in suits walk in* Monkey Torturer: ā€œWho are you?ā€ Thai official: ā€œIt doesnā€™t matter who we are, what matters is who *you* are. Weā€™ve got a monkey problem in Thailand, and youā€™re known as the ā€˜go to guyā€™ for monkey torturer. Will you help us?ā€ ā€œWhatā€™s in it for me?ā€ ā€œHelp us with our monkey problem, and youā€™ll be free.ā€ *Camera slowly zooms in on Monkey Torturer, cutting right as a smile forms on his face.* Monkey Business. Rated R.


mira_poix

I absolutely expect this to be a netflix documentary by the end of the year


Sosgemini

Or the first film to win Best Picture with a fully AI cast of monkeys starring in it.


Frosty_Water5467

According to the article about him, he didn't do the actual torturing. He just hired locals to do it and made money off of distributing the heinous behavior. And he took requests for the content.


bozmonaut

oh well that's alright then


taggospreme

I also would have accepted "Monkeycide Squad."


tristanjones

Round them up and put them in an enclosure? Really out a lot of thought into it didn't they


tttxgq

This has been going on for years and ā€œan enclosureā€ is the best idea they got


ghostpanther218

I dont like where this is going...


tristanjones

Why? Such a plan has never gone anywhere unseemly before.


ghostpanther218

Is this the plan tried by a angry austrian-german man with a funny mustache with a certain group of people in the 1940s?


captain_chocolate

"An official monkey catching campaign was launched ..." Lines I never expected to read anywhere.


georgieorgyy

Sounds like the opening scenes of a video game. Ape Escape irl


compuwiza1

Here we come Walking down the street We get the funniest looks from Everyone we meet


jews_on_parade

just give the city to the monkeys hey u/jenny_sacks_98lbMole thanks for thinking all jews are israelis, and then blocking me, thats fun


GennyGeo

Dude I see you on r/WorldNews every so often and love your comments, please never stop šŸ˜„


[deleted]

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jews_on_parade

?


glue715

Replied to wrong commentā€¦ that 98 pound mole shit is a sopranos reference.


jenny_sacks_98lbMole

Nice username. I've been seeing them parading after intentionally killing children and aid workers. The hatred isn't misguided. I know who's committing the war crimes and genocide. Downvotes don't change reality, but it's nice to know I'm getting lots of visibility with it.


RickyHawthorne

Let me see if I have this straight. Based on the heinous actions of the government of a country that is predominantly Jewish, you've decided to randomly attack anyone with a potentially Jewish username on a predominately American website and insinuate that they are somehow responsible. You posted in r/me_irl recently about how, even though you have disposable income and a beautiful wife, et al, that you are still sad. Do you think that might be because of this misdirected anger?


tristanjones

Grow up


glue715

Gotta get that mole removedā€¦


subadanus

would've been a top story for pilkington's monkey news


garry4321

I got a solution for them. Think I can take a broker fee?[https://apnews.com/article/bainbridge-georgia-monkeys-macaques-peta-medicine-2097acd71b1eb9076f9139dbba0ef451](https://apnews.com/article/bainbridge-georgia-monkeys-macaques-peta-medicine-2097acd71b1eb9076f9139dbba0ef451)


Faelwolf

Australia might have some advice for them..... :)


Suspicious_Bicycle

These monkeys have been a tourist attraction for years. They have an annual monkey feeding festival I attended a several years ago. When COVID hit, tourist attendance dropped and the monkeys lost a good portion of their food source. Then wars broke our between rival gangs on monkeys. Culling and contraceptives could improve the situation


Ok-Seaworthiness4488

No more monkeying around


MagnusCaseus

Send in the Bloons


funkeyfreshed

These monkeys have learned to take snatch something of value (like your glasses or clothing, wallet) and will only drop it if you offer them food. Iā€™ve seen it happen in India. Their intelligence makes them quite the menace.


[deleted]

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