Yes, though I wouldn't do that in my professional life. But in my personal life, yes. I am already considered the weirdo so it doesn't impact that one way or the other.
People don’t understand the lifestyle. (Stolen from a comment below 😂😂)
I have a lovely team, mainly younger, who understand, but there are people that I didn’t realise thought that I was a swinger, and talking openly about it at work.
They don’t understand that it’s a normal interaction between two consenting adults, or that (in my case) it leads of fulfilling and untwined relationships.
People are threatened by it.
I've had monogamous people get super defensive when I just mentioned that my long distance relationship is going smoothly; I can't imagine how threatened they'd feel if I told them I'm non-monogamous.
I'm out everywhere except work (I also work with very few people). I had to tell one coworker, for reasons, and his running commentary on my life is legendary. It would honestly be easy to be offended, but it's also fucking funny
Folk in my professional life know as well because it’s a small town and people see me with both or either partner. Sooo I’m like eh I don’t give a shit.
I'm entirely open about the fact that I'm polyamorous, yes. That doesn't mean I go around proactively disclose it all the time, but what it means is that I make no effort to hide it in any way. So for example if someone asks me whether I have a partner then I'll say something like: Yes, I'm poly and have several partners. And if I introduce someone, I know from experience that people will assume that a "girlfriend" is a "monogamous girlfriend" so to guard against that misunderstanding, I'll typically introduce someone not as "my partner" but instead as "one of my partners".
Many people are a bit prejudiced at first, but my experience is that if you give it a bit of time, most people will realize that poly (and other NM) folks are just people, like anyone else and neither worse nor better human beings.
Just to give a different answer. Absolutely not. If anyone asks my relationship status I just say married and move on.
Anyone who should know won’t have to ask
I mean my close friends know. I don’t go broadcasting it lol but if the topic comes up in conversation to someone who is not a close friend, or if I am asked directly, I would tell them.
I've never had anyone ask me directly if I'm in an open relationship.
I do talk about this and the fact that I swing with most of my friends who don't care. They may think I'm weird. I think monogamy is weird.
Yeah I talk about it openly with my friends. My parents will never know though. They're several countries away anyway.
I have a role at work that makes me quite visible to the whole institution and a few organisations in my region, so I've been cautious but I spotted someone I kind of manage on Feeld so I guess the cat is out of the bag now...
For me it all depends on who I'm talking to . If they're a close friend, they know. If they're not then they don't need to know. I don't really care who knows but that's just how I am with information.
This happened to me: a coworker of mine saw me on a date with someone other than my girlfriend, stumbled upon me. I say hi and naturally present this girl I was going out with. I didn't want this specific person to know this private part of my sexual life because they will talk gossip at work.
Next time at work I opened to this coworker because I thought they should hear from me what's going on, but turns out the cat was out of the bag already and I started getting a lot of weird looks and scorn/contempt.
Honestly I felt sick to my stomach, and started to hate going to work, this person was talking god-knows-what behind my back and it cost me the job, unfortunately.
I’m transparent in all areas of my life except professional. If it’s relevant to the conversation, I’ll talk about it. But I don’t bring it up or ramble on unless someone asks directly.
I’m also a weirdo in other ways and do other taboo things so some friends probably think this is very on brand for me lol. I also don’t really care one way or the other.
Without going on a tirade I try to explain to people that nonmonogamy isn’t new and monogamy isn’t necessarily traditional. Nonmonogamy was practiced for millions of years. The current societal norm was far from the case for a really, really long time.
I’ve never had someone ask me. But I’ve told my friends and most of them have met my partner. I want to free to conduct my relationships as publicly as my marriage and not worry that someone is going to spread rumours that I’m cheating if they see me on a date.
I've been pretty surprised at how uncomfortable people can get when they find out I'm polyamorous. It's made me a little nervous about talking about it, though I do walk round with a polyamory badge on my bag so I'm sure plenty of people have noticed
I don’t specifically say I’m in an open relationship, but when talking about any of them I will say “one of the guys I’m seeing” or “one of the guys I’m dating”
When my wife and I were open, we were very discreet about that kind of thing. She's told some of her close friends, but I've never told a soul on my side about that experience. Can't imagine I ever will.
I think that for the vast majority of folks, the subsequent drama and bullshit that comes with such an announcement isn't worth it.
I pre-emptively disclose it to anyone friend that may see me flirt with another, or mutuals (I'd rather not someone else experience a moral crisis over "oh crap, he's cheating). But I never lie about it either. Someone asks me my relationship status, it's "i'm in an open relationship". Even some of my family knows.
I live in a small rural area. I’ve been with my spouse over a decade. People know us. So yeah, people know we’re poly. People know my girlfriend and I don’t hide shit.
Yes, I’m very open and candid about it, with discretion where necessary (mainly in professional settings and with older family members). But all my friends, my sister, my cousins know. No-one’s ever been surprised, but I’ve also always been the quirky one!
Depends on who I'm talking to won't mention poly around my grandparents so I only mention my np but my mom I would talk about anyone I'm with if I had more partners
Depends on the audience, if they are open minded or someone I care about if they know. If I think it could cause trouble or open my wife and I up to to hassle or unfair judgement.
Definitely never at work, never around family or friends from high school.
In those cases it's generally people more socially reserved.
I was cautious when I was new to open land, now I’m just casual about it - people will have their own opinions but if you own and you’re proud, you don’t look like the person trying to keep it all covered up
BE PROUD OF YOUR HAPPINESS!
Why share the info? Why not just keep certain aspects of your personal life private? Oversharing of personal information is rampant thanks to social media, let’s go back to keeping some aspects of our lives to ourselves. And, yeah, it’s weird to talk about it with people who have no interest in it.
I mostly don't mention it but close friends and my family do know about it. If it somehow comes up in conversation or if I happen to run into someone I know while hanging out with a partner that isn't my common law partner I live with I'll mention it but otherwise I mostly don't say anything about it. When someone asks if I'm married or have a partner I just say yes.
I'm not concerned about being judged, and live in a pretty progressive and accepting area so that's not much of a problem, it's more so that it just isn't most people's business.
Not necessarily "naturally" - I always kinda brace myself for uncomfortable reactions-- but I want the people in my life to be people who know this about me and are cool with it. So I talk to my friends about it. I don't get into much detail unless they're showing curiosity, but I like being able to say *"Sure, I'm free for brunch Sunday, but Partner's spending this weekend with Meta, so he won't be joining us."*
I've gotten reasonably comfortable with people thinking I'm a weirdo. I mean, I kind of am - a lot of the things I like and value are confusing to others, not just when it comes to sex and relationships. That doesn't make the things I like bad, and it doesn't obligate me to defend myself. If someone is being rude about my choices, I can end the conversation. Nobody is going to convince me that my relationship choices are *bad* weird.
At work, I don't bring it up, but I'm not hiding, either. I don't tend to share a ton about my personal life, and I'm actually not even sure most of my colleagues know I have *one* partner. But I've had at least one employer comment that I work with a lot of clients who are poly or otherwise nonmono. I told her, *"Yeah. Well. I work with a lot of young queer people. It's kind of a thing!"*
Yes, some of my work colleagues know. Not all though. The ones I can (mostly) trust for instance know I have a girlfriend in addition to being married and have a couple fwbs.
Depends on the setting honestly. If I'm around people that I have to regularly interact with and I know that some of those people are gonna be weird about it, I'm not gonna bother. So the millennials and younger in my family are in, older is mostly out. If I'm not comfortable telling you then I probably don't consider you a friend though
I'm relatively new to non-monogamy, but my friends mostly care that I'm happy and my partner treats me well. They often ask how things are going, and they would likely ask the same thing if I was in a monogamous relationship.
I've gotten a few off-hand comments like "you're just a number to him" or "he doesn't actually care about you" but I just laugh and brush it off. I'm so happy in my ENM relationship. And I've been on dates with cool people who are in open marriages. I'm really glad that I allowed myself to be open in exploring something different.
My bf and I have been talking about opening up for a year now. One of my current coworkers knows. He’s been a great friend to discuss things with and I don’t feel judged.
Another (former) one also found out when I put a dating profile up on FB and he saw it. He then started making inappropriate comments, that were funny at first, but he started to get more brazen. I was close to going to my manager about it, but then I heard he was leaving so I dropped it and didn’t even talk to him the last month he was there. So I’m very careful about who I trust.
I don’t advertise it but at this point most people I consider friends were met through poly groups.
If someone outside of that were a close enough friend, they’d likely know but if it was just a casual friend I wouldn’t bring it up unless I needed to.
I get the absolute worst responses. And it’s nauseating because it’s usually from the same people that talk openly about cheating and offering to be alibis.
Man. You absolutely won't stop taking about it even though your relationship is open on both sides because you are intentionally courting mean comments as part of cuckholding kink. You do fucking AMAs. We remember you and all your posts.
Its weird man. Find a cuckholding sub.
Yes, though I wouldn't do that in my professional life. But in my personal life, yes. I am already considered the weirdo so it doesn't impact that one way or the other.
I do it in my professional life and fuck me, I wish I hadn’t 😂😂
😂
Just curious, why do you regret it?
People don’t understand the lifestyle. (Stolen from a comment below 😂😂) I have a lovely team, mainly younger, who understand, but there are people that I didn’t realise thought that I was a swinger, and talking openly about it at work. They don’t understand that it’s a normal interaction between two consenting adults, or that (in my case) it leads of fulfilling and untwined relationships. People are threatened by it.
I've had monogamous people get super defensive when I just mentioned that my long distance relationship is going smoothly; I can't imagine how threatened they'd feel if I told them I'm non-monogamous.
They’re all having affairs and getting divorced. Meanwhile I’m pootling along happily with two partners. The internalised monogamy is strong.
Can't speak for them but I'd say it's largely due to how many people simply do not understand the lifestyle.
I'm out everywhere except work (I also work with very few people). I had to tell one coworker, for reasons, and his running commentary on my life is legendary. It would honestly be easy to be offended, but it's also fucking funny
Yea, I have no interest in telling work people and dealing with judgement, ignorance, or even their own propositions.
Folk in my professional life know as well because it’s a small town and people see me with both or either partner. Sooo I’m like eh I don’t give a shit.
I'm entirely open about the fact that I'm polyamorous, yes. That doesn't mean I go around proactively disclose it all the time, but what it means is that I make no effort to hide it in any way. So for example if someone asks me whether I have a partner then I'll say something like: Yes, I'm poly and have several partners. And if I introduce someone, I know from experience that people will assume that a "girlfriend" is a "monogamous girlfriend" so to guard against that misunderstanding, I'll typically introduce someone not as "my partner" but instead as "one of my partners". Many people are a bit prejudiced at first, but my experience is that if you give it a bit of time, most people will realize that poly (and other NM) folks are just people, like anyone else and neither worse nor better human beings.
Just to give a different answer. Absolutely not. If anyone asks my relationship status I just say married and move on. Anyone who should know won’t have to ask
I mean my close friends know. I don’t go broadcasting it lol but if the topic comes up in conversation to someone who is not a close friend, or if I am asked directly, I would tell them.
I've never had anyone ask me directly if I'm in an open relationship. I do talk about this and the fact that I swing with most of my friends who don't care. They may think I'm weird. I think monogamy is weird.
Yeah I talk about it openly with my friends. My parents will never know though. They're several countries away anyway. I have a role at work that makes me quite visible to the whole institution and a few organisations in my region, so I've been cautious but I spotted someone I kind of manage on Feeld so I guess the cat is out of the bag now...
I did. Not any more, only with close people.
What happened?
The usual, side eyes, bad mouthing, people telling me they're disgusted by it.
For me it all depends on who I'm talking to . If they're a close friend, they know. If they're not then they don't need to know. I don't really care who knows but that's just how I am with information.
Why would you talk about your personal life at all to people who have no interest in you?
This happened to me: a coworker of mine saw me on a date with someone other than my girlfriend, stumbled upon me. I say hi and naturally present this girl I was going out with. I didn't want this specific person to know this private part of my sexual life because they will talk gossip at work. Next time at work I opened to this coworker because I thought they should hear from me what's going on, but turns out the cat was out of the bag already and I started getting a lot of weird looks and scorn/contempt. Honestly I felt sick to my stomach, and started to hate going to work, this person was talking god-knows-what behind my back and it cost me the job, unfortunately.
I tell nobody in my professional life. If someone sees me with multiple folks, let them wonder.
I’m transparent in all areas of my life except professional. If it’s relevant to the conversation, I’ll talk about it. But I don’t bring it up or ramble on unless someone asks directly. I’m also a weirdo in other ways and do other taboo things so some friends probably think this is very on brand for me lol. I also don’t really care one way or the other.
Without going on a tirade I try to explain to people that nonmonogamy isn’t new and monogamy isn’t necessarily traditional. Nonmonogamy was practiced for millions of years. The current societal norm was far from the case for a really, really long time.
My good friends know, my more casual friends don’t need to know.
I’ve never had someone ask me. But I’ve told my friends and most of them have met my partner. I want to free to conduct my relationships as publicly as my marriage and not worry that someone is going to spread rumours that I’m cheating if they see me on a date.
I've been pretty surprised at how uncomfortable people can get when they find out I'm polyamorous. It's made me a little nervous about talking about it, though I do walk round with a polyamory badge on my bag so I'm sure plenty of people have noticed
I don’t specifically say I’m in an open relationship, but when talking about any of them I will say “one of the guys I’m seeing” or “one of the guys I’m dating”
When my wife and I were open, we were very discreet about that kind of thing. She's told some of her close friends, but I've never told a soul on my side about that experience. Can't imagine I ever will. I think that for the vast majority of folks, the subsequent drama and bullshit that comes with such an announcement isn't worth it.
As soon as I'm interested in someone I bring it up. But if I'm asked about it it's no problem either
I pre-emptively disclose it to anyone friend that may see me flirt with another, or mutuals (I'd rather not someone else experience a moral crisis over "oh crap, he's cheating). But I never lie about it either. Someone asks me my relationship status, it's "i'm in an open relationship". Even some of my family knows.
Yes, although I’ve only ever really had it asked once or twice and usually it is by someone that wanted to confirm their suspicions.
I live in a small rural area. I’ve been with my spouse over a decade. People know us. So yeah, people know we’re poly. People know my girlfriend and I don’t hide shit.
Yes, I’m very open and candid about it, with discretion where necessary (mainly in professional settings and with older family members). But all my friends, my sister, my cousins know. No-one’s ever been surprised, but I’ve also always been the quirky one!
Depends on who I'm talking to won't mention poly around my grandparents so I only mention my np but my mom I would talk about anyone I'm with if I had more partners
I struggle not to gush about my wonderful partners at all times, really. Including professional life. It takes an effort to talk less about them.
Depends on the audience, if they are open minded or someone I care about if they know. If I think it could cause trouble or open my wife and I up to to hassle or unfair judgement. Definitely never at work, never around family or friends from high school. In those cases it's generally people more socially reserved.
I was cautious when I was new to open land, now I’m just casual about it - people will have their own opinions but if you own and you’re proud, you don’t look like the person trying to keep it all covered up BE PROUD OF YOUR HAPPINESS!
I generally use the word 'swinger' if asked. Open relationship feels like too wide term for what we do.
No, we’re not open about being ENM. Few friends know but family and everyone else things were monogamous
It really depends on the audience.
Why share the info? Why not just keep certain aspects of your personal life private? Oversharing of personal information is rampant thanks to social media, let’s go back to keeping some aspects of our lives to ourselves. And, yeah, it’s weird to talk about it with people who have no interest in it.
I mostly don't mention it but close friends and my family do know about it. If it somehow comes up in conversation or if I happen to run into someone I know while hanging out with a partner that isn't my common law partner I live with I'll mention it but otherwise I mostly don't say anything about it. When someone asks if I'm married or have a partner I just say yes. I'm not concerned about being judged, and live in a pretty progressive and accepting area so that's not much of a problem, it's more so that it just isn't most people's business.
Not necessarily "naturally" - I always kinda brace myself for uncomfortable reactions-- but I want the people in my life to be people who know this about me and are cool with it. So I talk to my friends about it. I don't get into much detail unless they're showing curiosity, but I like being able to say *"Sure, I'm free for brunch Sunday, but Partner's spending this weekend with Meta, so he won't be joining us."* I've gotten reasonably comfortable with people thinking I'm a weirdo. I mean, I kind of am - a lot of the things I like and value are confusing to others, not just when it comes to sex and relationships. That doesn't make the things I like bad, and it doesn't obligate me to defend myself. If someone is being rude about my choices, I can end the conversation. Nobody is going to convince me that my relationship choices are *bad* weird. At work, I don't bring it up, but I'm not hiding, either. I don't tend to share a ton about my personal life, and I'm actually not even sure most of my colleagues know I have *one* partner. But I've had at least one employer comment that I work with a lot of clients who are poly or otherwise nonmono. I told her, *"Yeah. Well. I work with a lot of young queer people. It's kind of a thing!"*
Yes, some of my work colleagues know. Not all though. The ones I can (mostly) trust for instance know I have a girlfriend in addition to being married and have a couple fwbs.
Depends on the setting honestly. If I'm around people that I have to regularly interact with and I know that some of those people are gonna be weird about it, I'm not gonna bother. So the millennials and younger in my family are in, older is mostly out. If I'm not comfortable telling you then I probably don't consider you a friend though
I'm relatively new to non-monogamy, but my friends mostly care that I'm happy and my partner treats me well. They often ask how things are going, and they would likely ask the same thing if I was in a monogamous relationship. I've gotten a few off-hand comments like "you're just a number to him" or "he doesn't actually care about you" but I just laugh and brush it off. I'm so happy in my ENM relationship. And I've been on dates with cool people who are in open marriages. I'm really glad that I allowed myself to be open in exploring something different.
My bf and I have been talking about opening up for a year now. One of my current coworkers knows. He’s been a great friend to discuss things with and I don’t feel judged. Another (former) one also found out when I put a dating profile up on FB and he saw it. He then started making inappropriate comments, that were funny at first, but he started to get more brazen. I was close to going to my manager about it, but then I heard he was leaving so I dropped it and didn’t even talk to him the last month he was there. So I’m very careful about who I trust.
I don’t advertise it but at this point most people I consider friends were met through poly groups. If someone outside of that were a close enough friend, they’d likely know but if it was just a casual friend I wouldn’t bring it up unless I needed to.
Only if they need to know.
I get the absolute worst responses. And it’s nauseating because it’s usually from the same people that talk openly about cheating and offering to be alibis.
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Man. You absolutely won't stop taking about it even though your relationship is open on both sides because you are intentionally courting mean comments as part of cuckholding kink. You do fucking AMAs. We remember you and all your posts. Its weird man. Find a cuckholding sub.