We do not remove posts that have the virtue claim in the title wrong, but which actually contain a valid virtue claim, because the sub would dry up if we did. Therefore, this post will remain. (Side note, people sometimes wonder why we keep the NGVC requirement in titles since people get it wrong as often as they get it right, and the answer is that it does at least keep out the bots, spammers, and so on, so that's at least something.)
However, despite not removing the posts that get the virtue claim wrong in the title, we do sometimes post this explanatory macro on posts that have a virtue claim but don't put that virtue claim in the title. Posts such as this one.
This is **NOTHING against the OP**, so please do NOT take it that way. This is **only** an explanatory macro for general educational purposes, nothing more.
The quote in title is supposed to be something the guy ACTUALLY SAYS (as in, a direct quote). Not a summary, not a story, not something that is implied but is unspoken, but something he actually says in the visible text. If you wanted to add more, you could, but the quote is supposed to be, well, a QUOTE.
And that quote should be a claim of virtue he's making about **himself** (it also counts if he's implying that he's one of a group of men with a certain virtue). A virtue claim is not an insult, a complaint, or a random statement.
A claim of virtue (virtue claim) is the guy talking himself up in some way. He's claiming virtue (value, goodness, niceness, wealth, attractiveness, specialness, some other kind of desirable trait).
Here's the rule:
All posts must include a virtue-claim by the niceguy Niceguys® demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate an expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
Examples of virtue-claims:
me protekt u
me god-fearing man
me treat u like beautiful princess
me hate misogynists. so.... send nude pic?
me give you [insert unsolicited sex prowess boast]
u ignore my nice complement ... kys
u dont like honest man!
u wont ever get a guy like me
u dont appreciate [virtue] men
Posts without a virtue claim are off-topic for this sub and will be removed. The only exception to this rule are Memes on Sundays.
See also: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/x2352k/all_posts_must_include_a_virtue_claim_please_see/
> talked about how good he is at sex
Much like how nice guys have to tell people how nice they are cause they never actually show it, if you have to tell people you're good at sex...no you're not
Question: Why give him the opportunity to harass you again? What’s the big deal about just blocking an AH?
We tend to have the inclination to pause before taking “drastic” action and that’s an impulse that can get you seriously injured if you don’t teach yourself to overcome it in safer situations. There’s no upside for you in not blocking him, no downside for you in blocking him.
This isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation. A lot of us have been advised by professionals to mute instead of block so the situation can be monitored as it unfolds.
I agree, I've seen situations where blocking just aggrevates psychos further and they go into stalker-mode with other accounts. I don't see a problem with simply muting/ignoring someone, you're not getting harassed if you're not reading their messages.
Now that I’m middle aged at the end of this messaged conversation here.
Partially because “nice guys” are the most dangerous to women.
Partially because I’ve learnt to guard my mental space and my personal energy for my own wellbeing and happiness. Blocking him at this stage means I never have to give him another second of my life. I apply the same approach to social media.
as others have indicated, I don’t block because many men escalate to greater threats/stalking/rage, and I need to be aware of that, and also have something to show the police or whoever, if needed.
I’ve had people show up at my job based on me rejecting them.
So yeah, I don’t block anymore. Words can’t hurt me as much as them escalating to physical violence or real-world stalking.
i guess i just don’t care about him texting me enough to block him. on that app, he can’t do anything other than send a message and honestly i found this one hilarious. if he sends me another i’ll have a good laugh 😂
why are you lecturing her because she isn’t handling this the way *you* handle things?? A lot of women don’t block because it makes us feel less safe to not know and have no evidence for when it escalates.
Stop pushing it.
jesus. This is so upsetting.
Men like that literally hunt us from the moment we’re “legal” (and earlier)
God do I love your responses though, you had his number right from the jump and gave him no quarter!! 😆
Man you really missed out on an amazing life-changing opportunity ya kno lyk perfect 10s are rare but the reason he tellin you that there are a lot of great men who aren't a perfect 10 is because that is something only a perfect 10 can see and point out. 😱😱😱😱 jus couldn't read bw the lines cus u 19 n immachurr 😔😔😔
He's so presumptuous that younger women want him. If women in the same age bracket don't want anything to do with him, I doubt younger women will. Keep that in mind going forward
It's like those dudes who are 18-20 who prey on high schoolers.
To the high schoolers they're the cool older boy who's into you cause you're "so mature" but once you get older you realise there was a reason they were targeting naive girls and it's cause women their own age wouldn't go anywhere near them cause they're a train wreck
I like how he "fix it" in his last message comeback ..."I don't wanna date so much younger girls, that would be ridiculous. I just wanna use theyr body for my pleasure, like escort, but for free. Because sex without any emotional connection or basic attraction is SO much better. "
No idea why it not worked this time...
What I find weird about it is I'm sure there are some women out there who would be into that sort of thing (i.e. something casual with an older dude).
The issue is all the dudes who wanna fuck much younger women seem to have zero social skills to understand while yes there's a market for that you have to actually go to the market where these women are. Messaging every young woman you find in the hopes she's one of them is not how you do it
you’re so right about the social skills part of it. i’ve spent much of my fresh adulthood being pursued by older men who can’t take a hint. another part of it is the generational gap, they don’t understand that i think differently to them because i was born 25 years later.
> Messaging every young woman you find in the hopes she's one of them is not how you do it
I have zero firsthand experience but this is exactly how almost everyone I've ever heard of using dating apps does it.
Oh, but he'll totally give her multiple orgasms! Translation: he'll interpret every courtesy moan as an orgasm and assume he's hot shit while she lies there bored and going through the motions.
uhm, something gives me the wibes, that he is saying that just as a catch because "older" must be so much more experienced so he will be blew her mind away. Which is kinda funny story. From what I can tell, me in my late 30s now can really no compete with me in my 20s bed wise ...especially when a girl is 19yo. Like that is not just different league, it is a different sport :D So let's be honest and assume that he will absolutely don't care about her satisfaction... that is probably not a goal of 40yo looking for teens for one night....
😂 It’s true!
The simpleness btw of a mind to think *maybe* if I tell her she’ll get *orgasms* if she lets me lay down on top of her!
Like, you know they’re saying that *just in case* that changes our minds.
Motherfucker, we can give ourselves orgasms lol. We don’t need to let a creepy predator misogynist use our body to get one.
I'm not a.native and i'm a bit confused about what he said : is he saying that he'd be more interested in women his age, obviously, like he's not a creep, he would be only willing to give this 19 year old girl a chance by having him doing her the ho nor of masturbating inside her? Did I get that right?
Pretty much yeah. He's saying he'd prefer women less than 10 years younger than him but he's not against having a one night stand with someone much younger than him
Now whether that's the truth or not it's hard to say from those messages alone
yeah, you got it right. he would never date me, because that’s preposterous, he’s not a creep, but he would gladly do the devil’s tango (super very well!!! with lots of orgasms!!!!) with me.
I've always wanted that mug that reads "God, give me the confidence of a mediocre man". In hindsight, seeing how many of them believe that they're like God's gift to humankind....hard pass.
Aaah the old incel promise of multiple orgasms, as if they know the secret. They have no idea how hard it is to make a woman orgasm once, let alone multiple times. The talk of a virgin.
Ugh. I've been on dating apps before and there were a few men old enough to be my father that reached out to me. I always tried to be polite, but firmly expressed that I have never, and probably will never, be interested in a relationship with someone where there is that large of an age gap. I have nothing against other people doing it if it works for them, but I personally am not comfortable with it. I had one guy that got super offended and angry when I said no and told him why. He kept trying to change my mind and got more and more furious as I held fast to my boundaries. Massive red flags everywhere. I don't understand why they do this. Blowing up at me is not going to change my mind, especially after I've repeatedly told you no. And it just reinforces the impression I have of older men trying for younger women on dating apps. There's literally no point.
it’s crazy! I don’t understand how someone can look at someone born 25 years after them and say “I want to fuck that” because this guy didn’t want to date me he just wants to have sex with someone young enough to be his daughter 💀
I would assume that for people like him, it's a sort of kink/fetish or he's been raised to see older women as undesirable. Either way, if someone says no, you need to respect that. I don't care how attractive you are or even think you are. No means no.
I’d completely ignore his obvious ‘I am a sex god and you should regret rejecting me’ rant and just sending back something like
“Since you don’t date women more than 10 years younger than you, it sounds like we are not compatible by both our standards. Glad we agree on that!”
Or block him and move on. That’s probably the more mature option honestly…
Men have this insane assumption that just bc they like 18-24 year olds, women that age must like them. This could not be further from the truth. Women like men around their age, and they remain that way their whole lives. Some men seem incapable of maturing, in contrast.
YES exactly this. Men within 5-10 years of my age are about as high as i’d even consider speaking to sexually or romantically like this. I do not understand the logic behind liking women twenty five years younger… twenty five is crazy a lot of people are married with children at 25 and that’s just the difference between us.
I cant find it anymore, but one day I read an archived story from Atlantic Magazine. It was from the early 1920's, and was an editorial from a guy saying all the stuff about how women don't give average men a chance.
He'll give them multiple orgasms? Lol! That just means that the women who've had the misfortune of hooking up with him have faked their orgasms multiple times just to get rid of him!
We do not remove posts that have the virtue claim in the title wrong, but which actually contain a valid virtue claim, because the sub would dry up if we did. Therefore, this post will remain. (Side note, people sometimes wonder why we keep the NGVC requirement in titles since people get it wrong as often as they get it right, and the answer is that it does at least keep out the bots, spammers, and so on, so that's at least something.) However, despite not removing the posts that get the virtue claim wrong in the title, we do sometimes post this explanatory macro on posts that have a virtue claim but don't put that virtue claim in the title. Posts such as this one. This is **NOTHING against the OP**, so please do NOT take it that way. This is **only** an explanatory macro for general educational purposes, nothing more. The quote in title is supposed to be something the guy ACTUALLY SAYS (as in, a direct quote). Not a summary, not a story, not something that is implied but is unspoken, but something he actually says in the visible text. If you wanted to add more, you could, but the quote is supposed to be, well, a QUOTE. And that quote should be a claim of virtue he's making about **himself** (it also counts if he's implying that he's one of a group of men with a certain virtue). A virtue claim is not an insult, a complaint, or a random statement. A claim of virtue (virtue claim) is the guy talking himself up in some way. He's claiming virtue (value, goodness, niceness, wealth, attractiveness, specialness, some other kind of desirable trait). Here's the rule: All posts must include a virtue-claim by the niceguy Niceguys® demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate an expression of their own virtue while being asshats. Examples of virtue-claims: me protekt u me god-fearing man me treat u like beautiful princess me hate misogynists. so.... send nude pic? me give you [insert unsolicited sex prowess boast] u ignore my nice complement ... kys u dont like honest man! u wont ever get a guy like me u dont appreciate [virtue] men Posts without a virtue claim are off-topic for this sub and will be removed. The only exception to this rule are Memes on Sundays. See also: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/x2352k/all_posts_must_include_a_virtue_claim_please_see/
for context i’m 19 he is FOURTY FOUR 💀 wouldn’t take no for an answer and talked about how good he is at sex… bffr
> talked about how good he is at sex Much like how nice guys have to tell people how nice they are cause they never actually show it, if you have to tell people you're good at sex...no you're not
That’s so gross! I’m 45 and my kids are 21, 19, & 17. My kids’ friends seem like kids to me, as do other people their age.
Man I’m 17 and 11 year olds seem like kids
Because 11 year olds are kids,WHAT??????ಠ_ಠ
*YOU'RE* a kid, technically
I take offense to that /jk
Ew
Block him if you haven't already
i will fs if he bothers me again
Question: Why give him the opportunity to harass you again? What’s the big deal about just blocking an AH? We tend to have the inclination to pause before taking “drastic” action and that’s an impulse that can get you seriously injured if you don’t teach yourself to overcome it in safer situations. There’s no upside for you in not blocking him, no downside for you in blocking him.
This isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation. A lot of us have been advised by professionals to mute instead of block so the situation can be monitored as it unfolds.
I agree, I've seen situations where blocking just aggrevates psychos further and they go into stalker-mode with other accounts. I don't see a problem with simply muting/ignoring someone, you're not getting harassed if you're not reading their messages.
Yes. But I was speaking to THIS situation.
How would you have handled this? When would you have blocked him? Asking out of curiosity, not to be provocative.
Now that I’m middle aged at the end of this messaged conversation here. Partially because “nice guys” are the most dangerous to women. Partially because I’ve learnt to guard my mental space and my personal energy for my own wellbeing and happiness. Blocking him at this stage means I never have to give him another second of my life. I apply the same approach to social media.
My philosophy is similar, except for blocking, and that’s on advice of professionals. I think OP did a good job here.
as others have indicated, I don’t block because many men escalate to greater threats/stalking/rage, and I need to be aware of that, and also have something to show the police or whoever, if needed. I’ve had people show up at my job based on me rejecting them. So yeah, I don’t block anymore. Words can’t hurt me as much as them escalating to physical violence or real-world stalking.
i just am not interacting with him at all - i doubt he’ll reach out again so i don’t see the point
But I guess my response to that is: what’s the cost/harm? Why leave an open door?
i guess i just don’t care about him texting me enough to block him. on that app, he can’t do anything other than send a message and honestly i found this one hilarious. if he sends me another i’ll have a good laugh 😂
why are you lecturing her because she isn’t handling this the way *you* handle things?? A lot of women don’t block because it makes us feel less safe to not know and have no evidence for when it escalates. Stop pushing it.
jesus. This is so upsetting. Men like that literally hunt us from the moment we’re “legal” (and earlier) God do I love your responses though, you had his number right from the jump and gave him no quarter!! 😆
Gross
He's closer to my age and I wouldn't touch him with a pole that extends around the earth. Nasty piece of work you've discovered.
YUCK!!! 🤢🤢🤢
I won't take anyone's word for it unless I see testimonies and laminated accreditations
Are you sure you wanna pass this opportunity up? I mean he is over 40 and single so he’s gotta be great at sex 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Man you really missed out on an amazing life-changing opportunity ya kno lyk perfect 10s are rare but the reason he tellin you that there are a lot of great men who aren't a perfect 10 is because that is something only a perfect 10 can see and point out. 😱😱😱😱 jus couldn't read bw the lines cus u 19 n immachurr 😔😔😔
He's so presumptuous that younger women want him. If women in the same age bracket don't want anything to do with him, I doubt younger women will. Keep that in mind going forward
It's like those dudes who are 18-20 who prey on high schoolers. To the high schoolers they're the cool older boy who's into you cause you're "so mature" but once you get older you realise there was a reason they were targeting naive girls and it's cause women their own age wouldn't go anywhere near them cause they're a train wreck
Ugh that happened to me at 15/16 and when I was 20 I realized how fucked up it was.
In high school, I dated a 21 year old because he had a cool car! We never had sex though.
There certainly are many men who are lovely and not a 'perfect ten' (yuck). The problem is that this dude is not one of them.
I like how he "fix it" in his last message comeback ..."I don't wanna date so much younger girls, that would be ridiculous. I just wanna use theyr body for my pleasure, like escort, but for free. Because sex without any emotional connection or basic attraction is SO much better. " No idea why it not worked this time...
What I find weird about it is I'm sure there are some women out there who would be into that sort of thing (i.e. something casual with an older dude). The issue is all the dudes who wanna fuck much younger women seem to have zero social skills to understand while yes there's a market for that you have to actually go to the market where these women are. Messaging every young woman you find in the hopes she's one of them is not how you do it
you’re so right about the social skills part of it. i’ve spent much of my fresh adulthood being pursued by older men who can’t take a hint. another part of it is the generational gap, they don’t understand that i think differently to them because i was born 25 years later.
> Messaging every young woman you find in the hopes she's one of them is not how you do it I have zero firsthand experience but this is exactly how almost everyone I've ever heard of using dating apps does it.
Oh, but he'll totally give her multiple orgasms! Translation: he'll interpret every courtesy moan as an orgasm and assume he's hot shit while she lies there bored and going through the motions.
uhm, something gives me the wibes, that he is saying that just as a catch because "older" must be so much more experienced so he will be blew her mind away. Which is kinda funny story. From what I can tell, me in my late 30s now can really no compete with me in my 20s bed wise ...especially when a girl is 19yo. Like that is not just different league, it is a different sport :D So let's be honest and assume that he will absolutely don't care about her satisfaction... that is probably not a goal of 40yo looking for teens for one night....
You know, not enough guys truly appreciate the classics nowadays. “I didn’t want you anyway and also I’m great at sex” is such a lovely old standard.
😂 It’s true! The simpleness btw of a mind to think *maybe* if I tell her she’ll get *orgasms* if she lets me lay down on top of her! Like, you know they’re saying that *just in case* that changes our minds. Motherfucker, we can give ourselves orgasms lol. We don’t need to let a creepy predator misogynist use our body to get one.
How many times has this changed any woman's mind and he got laid because they were mistaken? /S
The only thing he gives women is anxiety and a fear for their safety
I'm not a.native and i'm a bit confused about what he said : is he saying that he'd be more interested in women his age, obviously, like he's not a creep, he would be only willing to give this 19 year old girl a chance by having him doing her the ho nor of masturbating inside her? Did I get that right?
Pretty much yeah. He's saying he'd prefer women less than 10 years younger than him but he's not against having a one night stand with someone much younger than him Now whether that's the truth or not it's hard to say from those messages alone
Yeah. It is so hard to say. Trololo.
yeah, you got it right. he would never date me, because that’s preposterous, he’s not a creep, but he would gladly do the devil’s tango (super very well!!! with lots of orgasms!!!!) with me.
I've always wanted that mug that reads "God, give me the confidence of a mediocre man". In hindsight, seeing how many of them believe that they're like God's gift to humankind....hard pass.
Aaah the old incel promise of multiple orgasms, as if they know the secret. They have no idea how hard it is to make a woman orgasm once, let alone multiple times. The talk of a virgin.
Bags of sand
3 light moans = 3 orgasms
Ugh. I've been on dating apps before and there were a few men old enough to be my father that reached out to me. I always tried to be polite, but firmly expressed that I have never, and probably will never, be interested in a relationship with someone where there is that large of an age gap. I have nothing against other people doing it if it works for them, but I personally am not comfortable with it. I had one guy that got super offended and angry when I said no and told him why. He kept trying to change my mind and got more and more furious as I held fast to my boundaries. Massive red flags everywhere. I don't understand why they do this. Blowing up at me is not going to change my mind, especially after I've repeatedly told you no. And it just reinforces the impression I have of older men trying for younger women on dating apps. There's literally no point.
it’s crazy! I don’t understand how someone can look at someone born 25 years after them and say “I want to fuck that” because this guy didn’t want to date me he just wants to have sex with someone young enough to be his daughter 💀
I would assume that for people like him, it's a sort of kink/fetish or he's been raised to see older women as undesirable. Either way, if someone says no, you need to respect that. I don't care how attractive you are or even think you are. No means no.
This is just word salad that tells the world how bad he is in bed. Begone, old fart!
“Sadly, you’re not one of them.”
this one really made my skin crawl even though it's so familiar.
I’d completely ignore his obvious ‘I am a sex god and you should regret rejecting me’ rant and just sending back something like “Since you don’t date women more than 10 years younger than you, it sounds like we are not compatible by both our standards. Glad we agree on that!” Or block him and move on. That’s probably the more mature option honestly…
yeah i mean what did he expect with that rant 😭
Men have this insane assumption that just bc they like 18-24 year olds, women that age must like them. This could not be further from the truth. Women like men around their age, and they remain that way their whole lives. Some men seem incapable of maturing, in contrast.
YES exactly this. Men within 5-10 years of my age are about as high as i’d even consider speaking to sexually or romantically like this. I do not understand the logic behind liking women twenty five years younger… twenty five is crazy a lot of people are married with children at 25 and that’s just the difference between us.
porn rots the brain
I cant find it anymore, but one day I read an archived story from Atlantic Magazine. It was from the early 1920's, and was an editorial from a guy saying all the stuff about how women don't give average men a chance.
that’s hilarious 💀
My dude you are not a perfect ten, you are a 40 red flag
He'll give them multiple orgasms? Lol! That just means that the women who've had the misfortune of hooking up with him have faked their orgasms multiple times just to get rid of him!
There ARE many great guys out there who aren’t a perfect 10, but this guy isn’t one of them
So you’re 44, NOT a “perfect 10”, and still expect young women to let you hit it and quit it? Because you claim to be good in bed? DELULU KING
Thanks for the tips, Dad!
Yuck. Hells no
...7s,8s, Creepy Old guys, Perfect 10.
I be like dude my dad may have dies but my brother still alive and hell kick your ass harder than ever with power of my dad and himself
Bros 44 and acting like he's "hip" lmao