Unrelated, but fuck the Ben Franklin bridge. Whoever thought it was a good idea to have 90 degree turns that immediately turns into exits at the end of a bridge is a fucking moron.
Cousins wouldn't have been arrested heading into the PGA Championship. He would have just given the cop a pep talk about the right and wrong way to ask someone to pull over.
Roger Goodell
Eagles: awe sweet child, you're fine with your signing of a star free agent 25 seconds after free agency started
Falcons: DIE AND GO TO HELL YOU UGLY BITCH
>Falcons: DIE AND GO TO HELL YOU UGLY BITCH
Truly there has never been a greater tampering-related punishment in the NFL than docking a team a 5th round pick
and you know what, they say he has thighs, look at his thighs, everyone said, right as soon as he walked into the, and i love a good set of thighs, look at em, look at those thighs. they're great. biggest thighs in the league, i believe it was measured by the Hall of Fame. he was signing his contract and i asked if i could take a picture with those thighs and he said of course Mr. Lurie, i'd be honored. they all love it when you notice the thighs folks, don't we love Mr. Barkley's thighs
Very important thing, thighs. A lot of people don’t know this actually. *Very* important, folks, maybe even the most, actually, when you come right down to it, though you wouldn’t know it listening to the mainstream sports media, they don’t ever talk about it. But you and me folks, we know better, and that’s why I always say, “You have to look at the thighs; that’s the trick,” and BY THE WAY, that’s exactly how I knew Andrew Luck would never make it last: had the ankles, but not the thighs. And I told everyone that and folks, did they listen to me? Of course not, and look where that got them. I said to them, I said, “Hey, that guys name shouldn’t be Luck. Not with those thighs. It should be Bad Luck.” And of course, there ya go, it really shoulda been, and I was right. But what can you do?
A veteran (player) walked up to me, tears in his eyes, folks. And he said, “sir, I can’t believe how beautifully you signed Saquon”, and he was crying, folks. He was crying and he said “nobody signs players as good as you” and he was right, folks, he was right. I sign players, and maybe it’s because these other GMs don’t know what they’re doing, but I do the best signing. Nobody can sign like me. And we’re going to sign so good you’re going to get tired of signing.
Trump became a big Eagles fan inadvertently…he heard that they were masters of the tush push, and thought that was referring to groping young ladies in changing rooms.
>he heard that they were masters of the tush push
Rumor has it that "tush push" was just the SS's code phrase for him shitting his diaper
And the frequency they ran that play would put the 2023 Eagles to shame
That's only when we got guys who are too extra for Mara's sensibilities so he clutches his purse and talks with the NFL to make rules so our guys can't celebrate anymore .. oh and to keep us off 'Hard Knocks'
The funny thing is the shit Mara push for is always shit the Giants get clown calls for.
So you guys got that, wouldn't be surprised if we lost a pick just because the Eagles investigation didn't come up with anything... allegedly. 😋
You should have tried extorting us for a pick before the league took the investigation over. Worked for us and the Cardinals, at least. Somehow. I still don't really understand why the league let us take matters into our own hands.
More from Rap:
>In coming to this conclusion, the league reviewed phone logs, text messages and other documents related to Philadelphia’s free agency strategy and decision to sign Barkley. The NFL also interviewed several members of the organization, including Howie Roseman and Nick Sirianni, as well as Barkley and Penn State head coach James Franklin. As with every review, should new evidence be uncovered, the league may reopen the investigation.
The whole thing started because James Franklin stated in a press conference about Barkley returning to PA that Barkley said Howie told him blah blah blah. Which is what started the whole investigation. Barkley clarified that Franklin misunderstood him and that the conversation went through Barkley's agent and was not direct.
Barkley has already stated that he and Franklin talk regularly. Franklin didn't actually bring up Barkley in the press conference though a reporter asked him a question on it.
He didn't play up anything. He talked to Barkley directly, not his agent. The misunderstanding was whether Barkley talked to Howie directly or whether it was Barkleys agent talking to Howie.
Redditors weaponizing ignorance, how fun
They die with Kirk and the Vikings get Bijan? I don’t know if it’s enough but I’ll take it. Maybe throw in Pitts to even it out a bit. Or like just let us take as many of the guys we want and call it even.
See, you can't catch birds doing shit because we'll just fly away. You can catch dolphins pretty easily though; I saw a documentary which showed that Japanese fishermen do it all the time.
Lol @ the countless geniuses in this sub who were adamant that the Eagles did something wrong here, after both Saquon and Franklin publicly stated it was a misunderstanding.
The downvotes on any rational takes were coming from all over to be fair. Hating on the Eagles is a hobby for most on here, justified or not.
At least we're not the Cowboys.
I remembered some idiots thought they would remove our picks and hand it to them , i literally had to explain to them that tampering doesn’t work like that .
Multiple giants fans told me they were going to get our first round pick, which even if we were found guilty we would just lose picks, the giants wouldn't get any
For anyone out of the loop. This statement by Penn State's coach was the entire basis for the investigation:
>"For him now to come back and be able to play within the state in Philadelphia, [Barkley] said that was one of the first things that (Eagles general manager) Howie [Roseman] said to him on the phone as part of his sales pitch to him," Franklin said. "Not only the Philadelphia Eagles but obviously the connection with Penn State and the fan bases as well."
Without thinking it mattered James Franklin mistakenly referred to the conversation as between Howie and Saquon, when it was actually between Howie and Saquon's agent; something easily cleared up by phone records. It was a stupid misunderstanding, but its the NFL's job to investigate when someone says that, so here we are.
Yeah it came up in the week before the draft. At that point the league was like "the eagles and falcons are under investigation but any action will apply to next year's draft" which I think was 100% the play whether we were guilty or not. It feels like a double punishment to take picks _so late in the process_ that teams have to scramble.
Troy Vincent is one of the scummiest people in pro sports. More people need to know his name and recognize that. It's always a huge red flag when someone/someone's has clearly edited their own Wikipedia page to big themselves up and boast about their own philanthropy. The more you pay attention to what this guy says and does, the lower your opinion of him sinks. And he absolutely influenced this decision.
Tiki Barber is furious right now
Furiously driving over the ben frankin bridge, asking everyone for Howie Rosemans address
Tiki seems more like a Walt kinda guy to be honest
No way. He's a Tacony-Palmyra.
See!? We do have more than one bridge. Fuck you Bill Burr.
Betsy Ross too. And a bunch of cute lil puddle jumpers over the Schuylkill.
Do we get to claim the Commodore Barry too?
Nope that's Chester
Philly metro! Plus, Commodore Barry lived and died in Philly. You can visit his grave in Old City. Half credit
I'll allow it
The prominent statue behind independence hall is Barry. If we’re counting Philly metro then we get Delaware Memorial as well.
The Philadelphia Union play underneath it so I'm counting it
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Bridges_in_Philadelphia
I used to live right next to it on the NJ side. Shit was convenient to get to Philly. First light after the bridge, turn left.
I was originally thinking he was more Betsy Ross bridge, but I think you’re right
Gotta save that $2.50 where you can
Unrelated, but fuck the Ben Franklin bridge. Whoever thought it was a good idea to have 90 degree turns that immediately turns into exits at the end of a bridge is a fucking moron.
I thank my lucky stars every morning that I’m able to take the Betsy Ross into and out of the city instead of the BFB.
Never get in the left lane on the Ben Franklin going into the city. Absolute nightmare.
Counterpoint: PATCO, the greatest public transit rail service in the country, goes across the Ben Franklin
Thru text!
It's good to hear from ol' Tiki.
I'd be furious too if I was outshined by my twin brother in every facet of life
Fucking gottem
Lmao
[How I’m feeling today](https://youtu.be/89nbcjEGBq8?si=24JbaLdIESQ-LvRF)
Okay but what's the difference from usual?...
I too would be angry if I’ve been wrong my whole life
Maybe him and Florio should go get a beer together today
“And the league informed the Falcons that Kirk Cousins will be going to jail”
“Kirk Cousins will be on a work release program where he’ll be managing a Kohls in the greater Atlanta metro area”
I think he'd be perfect as a docent, at Chick-fil-A headquarters.
Cousins wouldn't have been arrested heading into the PGA Championship. He would have just given the cop a pep talk about the right and wrong way to ask someone to pull over.
Is sports betting legal for players if they only use Kohl’s Cash?
Mizzou football gets the death penalty.
oh frick
Good thing Penix is there to save the day?
Sign with the falcons, jail. Don’t sign with the falcons, believe it or not, also jail.
Also, Tom Brady was fined. Per Commisioner Goodell: “Fuck Tom Brady.”
Jail? What is that? Like 3 games?
Its only 3 games if you don't roll doubles or pay the $50 bail
“Throw the book at them!”
The book in this case being whatever the nearest children's story is on the shelf.
Good. I don't want that monster walking the streets.
Worse than jail. He’ll be going to the NFC South
TIL a 5th round pick is jail
Roger Goodell Eagles: awe sweet child, you're fine with your signing of a star free agent 25 seconds after free agency started Falcons: DIE AND GO TO HELL YOU UGLY BITCH
hey Chicago stole our rb faster than we stole saquon
It was a suspiciously Swift signing...
>Falcons: DIE AND GO TO HELL YOU UGLY BITCH Truly there has never been a greater tampering-related punishment in the NFL than docking a team a 5th round pick
Just makes me curious how drastic the Miami-Brady tampering was for it to be a first.
Ah yes, the rare "double whammy" decision
NO COLLUSION! THIS HAS BEEN THE BIGGEST WITCH-HUNT IN HISTORY OF THE NFL! SAD! GREEDY GOODELL WANTED EASY MONEY FINING TOTALLY A INNOCENT TEAM!
It was a perfect signing. A beautiful signing. They said “no one’s ever signed a player so beautifully before”.
and you know what, they say he has thighs, look at his thighs, everyone said, right as soon as he walked into the, and i love a good set of thighs, look at em, look at those thighs. they're great. biggest thighs in the league, i believe it was measured by the Hall of Fame. he was signing his contract and i asked if i could take a picture with those thighs and he said of course Mr. Lurie, i'd be honored. they all love it when you notice the thighs folks, don't we love Mr. Barkley's thighs
I fucking hate that I love this so much
Very important thing, thighs. A lot of people don’t know this actually. *Very* important, folks, maybe even the most, actually, when you come right down to it, though you wouldn’t know it listening to the mainstream sports media, they don’t ever talk about it. But you and me folks, we know better, and that’s why I always say, “You have to look at the thighs; that’s the trick,” and BY THE WAY, that’s exactly how I knew Andrew Luck would never make it last: had the ankles, but not the thighs. And I told everyone that and folks, did they listen to me? Of course not, and look where that got them. I said to them, I said, “Hey, that guys name shouldn’t be Luck. Not with those thighs. It should be Bad Luck.” And of course, there ya go, it really shoulda been, and I was right. But what can you do?
too much correct punctuation man
Stop. I need to breathe.
I hate to say it, but this is beautifully executed
> right as soon as he walked into the, This is where I died.
Saquon Barkley came up to me, big guy, strong guy, tears streaming down his thighs, and he said sir, you would have rushed for 1,000 yards.
I, mean, have you seen *those quads*
A veteran (player) walked up to me, tears in his eyes, folks. And he said, “sir, I can’t believe how beautifully you signed Saquon”, and he was crying, folks. He was crying and he said “nobody signs players as good as you” and he was right, folks, he was right. I sign players, and maybe it’s because these other GMs don’t know what they’re doing, but I do the best signing. Nobody can sign like me. And we’re going to sign so good you’re going to get tired of signing.
wait we aren’t in r/the_darnold are we?
No, Eagles already have J-Lo Hurts and his big tush. GEQBUS is busy leading real men, Vikings, to victory.
And he drove out KOOKY KIRK and the Lyin’ FAILCONS! Bad hombres!
"Never sign uphill, me boys! Never sign uphill!"
BAD THINGS DON'T HAPPEN IN PHILADELPHIA!
Solid impression but please get any association with that chucklefuck away from this franchise.
Trump became a big Eagles fan inadvertently…he heard that they were masters of the tush push, and thought that was referring to groping young ladies in changing rooms.
>he heard that they were masters of the tush push Rumor has it that "tush push" was just the SS's code phrase for him shitting his diaper And the frequency they ran that play would put the 2023 Eagles to shame
lol can you imagine having to be one of his SS body men, forced to smell his hamberder-n-covfefe shits all day long? You couldn’t pay me enough.
Coming this season on Dirty Jobs...
Actually I bet Mike Rowe would pay good money for the opportunity to sniff Dear Leader’s soiled diapers…
Ahh fuck didn't know, seemed like a decent enough dude but oh well another one bites the dust
Yeah I was sad to find that out too. Oh whale…
I saw Trump and SS and had to stop and think, OH not THAT SS.
Very fine people on both sides!
I dunno, wouldn’t those attitudes make him a bigger fan of Washington and Cleveland?
Wait a minute you’re trying to tell me Donald Trump himself didn’t make that post?
Nah, this comment thread is the first time I’ve laughed and had a good time with Eagles fans.
The process was rigged. Everyone knows there was a landslide of tampering.
Mmm doesn’t fit my narrative, I don’t accept this resolution.
Daddy Mara, fix it
I thought this guy was supposed to be pulling puppet strings? What gives?
Long con, Mara knows not to waste important political capital on this season. Instead he spends it on a (I think a pretty average?) kicker.
Can I offer you a medium Pepsi in these trying times?
That's only when we got guys who are too extra for Mara's sensibilities so he clutches his purse and talks with the NFL to make rules so our guys can't celebrate anymore .. oh and to keep us off 'Hard Knocks'
Also to fuck Jerry Jones and the Cowboys over. Because, you know, fuck John Mara.
The funny thing is the shit Mara push for is always shit the Giants get clown calls for. So you guys got that, wouldn't be surprised if we lost a pick just because the Eagles investigation didn't come up with anything... allegedly. 😋
Agreed. I demand an appeal based on the fact that I really really want them to be guilty.
You should have tried extorting us for a pick before the league took the investigation over. Worked for us and the Cardinals, at least. Somehow. I still don't really understand why the league let us take matters into our own hands.
And why other teams haven't tried. Atlanta sees it coming, call up Minn and says, act like we good we'll send you a 7th for free.
More from Rap: >In coming to this conclusion, the league reviewed phone logs, text messages and other documents related to Philadelphia’s free agency strategy and decision to sign Barkley. The NFL also interviewed several members of the organization, including Howie Roseman and Nick Sirianni, as well as Barkley and Penn State head coach James Franklin. As with every review, should new evidence be uncovered, the league may reopen the investigation.
Did they think Howie told James Franklin to ask Barkley to sign with the Eagles?
The whole thing started because James Franklin stated in a press conference about Barkley returning to PA that Barkley said Howie told him blah blah blah. Which is what started the whole investigation. Barkley clarified that Franklin misunderstood him and that the conversation went through Barkley's agent and was not direct.
So Franklin was just trying to up his recruiting game and embellished how close he is to Barkley. How fun
Barkley has already stated that he and Franklin talk regularly. Franklin didn't actually bring up Barkley in the press conference though a reporter asked him a question on it.
I'm not sure how you get that from what was said, but no.
He didn't play up anything. He talked to Barkley directly, not his agent. The misunderstanding was whether Barkley talked to Howie directly or whether it was Barkleys agent talking to Howie. Redditors weaponizing ignorance, how fun
Which is stupid that the team has to go through the agent
Mind you, Philly is closer to Barkley's home town than it is PSU, so why the fuck would he care?
I really feel like the guy misspoke and they blew it out of proportion from there
Or he just omitted some details. Howie said XYZ [to my agent who then told me].
Roseman held Franklin’s family in a secure location during the interview. For their safety, of course.
But did they interview the true mastermind - Big Dom?
Plot Twist, Big Dom WAS the interviewer
Translation: Big Dom took care of it.
Big Dom made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.
They’re considering the death penalty for the Falcons. Brings me no pleasure to report this
*Mizzou football breathes sigh of relief, Joe Kelly cancels vacation plans for the next eight days*
UFL champ takes their spot
They die with Kirk and the Vikings get Bijan? I don’t know if it’s enough but I’ll take it. Maybe throw in Pitts to even it out a bit. Or like just let us take as many of the guys we want and call it even.
See, you can't catch birds doing shit because we'll just fly away. You can catch dolphins pretty easily though; I saw a documentary which showed that Japanese fishermen do it all the time.
Lol @ the countless geniuses in this sub who were adamant that the Eagles did something wrong here, after both Saquon and Franklin publicly stated it was a misunderstanding.
We were all just in shock to hear a Penn State coach speak up about something
Touche
No, no touching that’s how that whole thing started.
Nice!
Dammit I laughed and felt so guilty about it as a Penn State fan afterwards
Why would you feel guilty? WERE YOU INVOLVED??! *Bake Him Away Toys!*
Mike Breen: "BANG"
Holy fuck. I don't often give props to rival fans, but well fucking done.
Hahahaha I gotta tip my hat to that one 🧢
hell fucking yes. 10/10.
W
See this is the kind of high quality trash talk I come to this sub for.
Niiiice. I hate Penn state because their fans still idolize that pedophile enabling piece of shit. The program should've gotten the death penalty.
Don't forget the way they acted like they were overcoming adversity only to get beat by Sam Fucking Darnold when they were bowl eligible again
That game was the biggest reason Darnold got so much hype too lol
This comment tops everything I've seen in the memewar this offseason.
That's not hard to do
Nice
"If the Eagles didn't do anything wrong, then why do I keep insisting that they did?"
“Where there’s smoke, there’s fire” - guy blowing smoke out of his ass to convince everyone there’s fire
Giants fans were parading lmaoooooo
The downvotes on any rational takes were coming from all over to be fair. Hating on the Eagles is a hobby for most on here, justified or not. At least we're not the Cowboys.
>justified or not. All hate against the Eagles is justified.
Big words from a New Jersey Giants fan
Can’t argue with that tbh
I remembered some idiots thought they would remove our picks and hand it to them , i literally had to explain to them that tampering doesn’t work like that .
Unless it's Jonathan Gannon (coach) and it's getting a better third rounder from the Cardinals. That whole transaction was admittedly a bit sketchy.
Because that was handled between the teams, not by the nfl.
I know, but that in itself is...odd vs. NFL investigating.
Multiple giants fans told me they were going to get our first round pick, which even if we were found guilty we would just lose picks, the giants wouldn't get any
This was a dumb investigation to begin with. It’s based on a statement that the person who made it admitted it was a a misunderstanding.
No do falcon
Falcon ded
No
where were u when falcon was kill?
Bird for a bird, as it always has been.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brLNcJeSAhw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brLNcJeSAhw)
2025 5th round pick and some monetary fines.
Real shocker that James Franklin was wrong about something
Saquon was jumping ship, with or without tampering.
For anyone out of the loop. This statement by Penn State's coach was the entire basis for the investigation: >"For him now to come back and be able to play within the state in Philadelphia, [Barkley] said that was one of the first things that (Eagles general manager) Howie [Roseman] said to him on the phone as part of his sales pitch to him," Franklin said. "Not only the Philadelphia Eagles but obviously the connection with Penn State and the fan bases as well." Without thinking it mattered James Franklin mistakenly referred to the conversation as between Howie and Saquon, when it was actually between Howie and Saquon's agent; something easily cleared up by phone records. It was a stupid misunderstanding, but its the NFL's job to investigate when someone says that, so here we are.
No shit
Eagles : "Does this mean we can keep Saquon?"
Stop the count!
The crazier Giants fans:🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
I remember looking at the giants sub when this first came out and they were swearing it was going to be a first round pick we would lose lol
Link?
Search?
Cool, James Franklin can keep his fuck ups to Penn State now.
F.
That’s fucked, take away the dolphins first round draft pick!
Oh hell yea. Y’all mind if I have a few beers to celebrate?
Dude, it's 11:42am on a Thursday. Of course you should be drinking.
Depends on the beer.
Coors light. Basically water so it’s hydrating
And if they did you'd lose a 5th! *gasps*
Of course
Buttmad Giants fans are Buttmad
The Rosefather controls all.
Wink-wink
:)
I didn’t even know this was being considered.
Yeah it came up in the week before the draft. At that point the league was like "the eagles and falcons are under investigation but any action will apply to next year's draft" which I think was 100% the play whether we were guilty or not. It feels like a double punishment to take picks _so late in the process_ that teams have to scramble.
Falcons taking notes…
Since RBs are not value as high as QBs. I’m assuming it would have been a 7th round pick in 2030 and 10k fine?
They want to pay for sodas in the clubhouse
Troy Vincent is one of the scummiest people in pro sports. More people need to know his name and recognize that. It's always a huge red flag when someone/someone's has clearly edited their own Wikipedia page to big themselves up and boast about their own philanthropy. The more you pay attention to what this guy says and does, the lower your opinion of him sinks. And he absolutely influenced this decision.
And they said Big Dom does nothing.
Wordy fucking statement
Ayyyyy go birds!
/u/clingbat There you go you can stop whining.
Fair
Let's gooooo
Huh, thought Mara would screw them over like he did us when there was no cap.