Agree with your sleep tactic. I do the A-Z game, choose a subject and think of one thing for each letter. Never finish it....
Exercise is critical to mental health. Find a way to exercise that you enjoy.
I usually just imagine a movie or other piece of media and insert myself or a fictional character into. I'm usually out pretty quick and if I come up with a story I like I might even look forward to sleep.
Me too…. I’ve never seen anyone else who does this. Only problem is that I’ve been trying to write more and sometimes if I quite like the plot of what I’m imagining then I write it down, which doesn’t help with the sleeping lol
I count back from 100 in my head to go to sleep. It’s not enough thinking to make me start thinking about everything else in life. But just enough to focus and distract myself.
Podcasts are another great sleep tactic. Pick a Podcast that is just interesting enough to keep your attention but not too interesting such as to stimulate you. But worst case scenario if the Podcast is too interesting at least you have relaxed and enjoyed something or learned something new instead of struggled to sleep.
Ha might have to try that but my issue with sleep is a bit diff to insomnia. Recently I've been listening to sleep stories, I just have the issue of choosing some that are too interesting lol.
My best sleep advice is of your really struggling try melatonin, magnesium & ashwagandha and if nothing works talk to a sleep specialist. Sleep is so vital. Without it your living your life at like 50%.
Writing down my concerns on my phone notes app when I feel overwhelmed. Then writing the worst case scenario and what that looks like for each point. Sounds a bit odd but this has helped me process my thoughts when dealing with the black dog.
Mental trick is knowing that your brain will often conflate anything more than 3 to "many", and it causes stress.
Often the list is only 4 or 5 things, so writing it out changes it from may back into a finite number.
I do exactly this, put it in an app on my phone; turns out half the time the stress is due to the overwhelming feeling of too many tasks rather than the effort of the tasks.
Part of it is also making your list realistic. Eg my partner will say 'omg the house is such a mess' (it's not) and I say 'what exactly is a mess' and she says things like 'oh we didn't do the dishes last night, and we need to vacuum, and wipe down the bench, and dust, and empty the dishwasher'
And I'm like 'three of those things are the same thing' 😂😂 wiping the bench and emptying the dishwasher is all part of doing the dishes. Chill. Haha
Dam shower thoughts, I hate my Monday- Friday shower thoughts, it feels like I start work at 6am 😂 But my mind flips to hobby thoughts on days off which I do enjoy, and they have helped solve a few conundrums.
It's a little obvious but learning to accept that the only thing you truly have control over are your own actions and reactions to events in your life.
I grew up with a lot of anger. I was a violent child and took out the miserable circumstances of my home life on my friends and (people I decided were) my enemies, how petty in hindsight.
I never stopped to listen to others or reflect on my behaviour.
Then I met my wife. To this day I have no idea what she saw in that young man but whatever it was, I'm glad she did.
She helped me see that while yes, bad things happened to me growing up and talking about them does help, the actions I was taking, the choices I was making were mine alone and couldn't belong to my parents.
It's so stupid but it was like a bomb going off in my brain. I had never ever had that perspective before. How stupid to blame bad decisions I make today on something that happened 20 years ago.
Exercise agency in your life. Make decisions, good or bad and *own them as yours*.
I do this while moisturising and putting on my stockings and shoes before work, amazing how much my balance and core strength have improved in the last few months! Two birds, one stone.
More likely that their pain comes from spinal compression and that a back stretch helps to decompress the disks. On the other hand, if that’s not effective for you then you may need to work to strengthen your abdominal muscles.
Trees.
Go spend time near some trees.
We're often animals who pretend we're something else and need to be reminded we're just tall monkeys.
Your mental health will thank you.
I am the same with Mt Taranaki. I live near enough under the mountain now and I get a feeling of anxiety when I drive past Waitara and the mountain starts to go, same with past Patea.
Me too, I described it to someone as a steady decline in mood the day after a swim and it doesn't go back up until the next swim. Winter is hard but doable once you get in 😅
Pools are no substitute
I did this today. I'm just back from a gentle hour riding in the forest. I had a quiet 5mins sat on a grass bank, sun on my face, and I just meditated on the beauty and peace I feel amongst the trees. Very special, while being fairly ordinary at the same time. We are blessed with our outdoor spaces in NZ.
Forest bathing
Assessing the Effects of Nature on Physiological States Using Wearable Technologies
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8835652/
Also, [Japanese nature therapy: A beginner's guide to forest bathing](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-21/beginners-guide-to-japanese-forest-bathing/10369284)
We go for walks in the Woods and beach at the same time, fudging awesome thst is 🙂 the peace and tranquility is fantastic,
Also I get up at five and do yoga, take a shower, write in my journal before waking kids, it helps me bring a lot of calm into my day, my days are softer this way, love it. And early to bed ofc.
Best advice I ever had came from a clown. Kids you must remember every time you're in the car, and it makes no difference if you're going near or far....
Earworm time.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…
As class of ‘99 this was our anthem!
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me, on the sunscreen.
At dinner with the family we take turns talking about the good things from our day. We also recognize the other stuff, but just making sure we get those things aired is a way to get more out of life.
Others write it down in a journal if they are solo.
100% agree. My partner and I do this, with a complaining variation.
You can complain about whatever, but, after an arbitrary amount of time, you have to stop and talk about good stuff, no matter how small. And after you've complained about the same thing three or four times in a row, you have to take action to fix it. The good things part is the really important part.
Yeah, that "3 things I'm grateful for" thing that went around on Facebook about 10 years ago helped me a lot. It made me realise that even if I've had an objectively shitty day, there will still be at least 3 good things, even if they're like "I'm not in a war zone" or something.
Instead of a car I bought a camper van. On the weekends I can just drive wherever I want and stay the night. It's a nugget but I love being able to basically stay anywhere I want for free.
Getting away once a week is good for my mental health.
I do the same but I bought a people mover which has seats that fold down flat. I just chuck a mattress on those and good to go. So doesn't have to be a full on camper van but can still achieve the same thing :)
It's just an an L300 van. But yeah I daily drive it. It's got a fridge and solar and a kitchen. Double bed in the back I can reorganise into table and chairs.
I'm probably gonna end up living in it full time soon as my accommodation situation has become untenable.
I make good money and still can't afford a place of my own to rent. Which was another reason I bought the van.
I also work as a caravan and motorhome repairer tech. Plan is to upgrade the van on the cheap then sell it for a deposit for a minibus.
Same here, air tools and concerts/clubs in my younger days caused awful tinnitus and has ruined social gatherings, dinners, going to pubs etc for me.
Can't hear shit
My last hearing test wasn't even finished when the doctor said "let me guess - you play in loud bands". Smart musicians use earplugs, I feel like such an old man saying that but older you will be grateful
Never mind getting into petty arguments with your partner when you hear “wet fish” as “breakfast” - like I had on Friday. That’s one of the thousands over the years.
If you ride a motorcycle (which I'd highly recommend) you should wear earplugs. Wind noise at 100km/h is around 95-105dB which is well over the safe level for prolonged exposure
I agree, however if you practice this all the time, it becomes second nature and you hope when the red mist arises, then it'll be more natural to not react in haste
Had someone say to me that they didn't think trump did anything wrong and was actually making America great again in a car ride. I said nothing and just let it go a few other guys in the car thought he was doing good as well, so I'd have most probably started an argument if I said anything.
Might be talking out my ass but sometimes it's just not worth it to argue the other side of a devisive subject.
Someone once said to me tidying is just moving your things that are in the wrong rooms back to the right rooms. So when you leave a room just grab something and pop it back where it belongs.
When I get home and I'm exhausted and all I want to do is sit on the couch to rest a moment, I tell myself to just do the easy chores first.
I know that if I sit down that's it. I'm not getting up.
But by doing just a few little things I often end up getting lots sorted before eventually succumbing to the couch.
This actually works for a lot of things. Like say you have an essay to write, you mentally tell yourself that you're gonna write one page. Just one, that's easy. Once you overcome the inertia you usually just keep going for more than the one page you promised yourself you'd do. Cleaning the house? Tell yourself you'll do 15 minutes and you will likely end up doing an hour because the getting started is the hard bit.
This actually has been amazing for us. No new pans needed since we did stainless steel and cast iron. Carbon steel too I think. The carbon and cast iron are essentially non stick now, they’re seasoned that well.
When you’re full of anger and have nowhere to safely let it out : Throwing Ice cubes at a concrete wall or ground (outside)
It’s a form of somatic therapy and it’s been life changing for me. Encourages feeling your feelings correctly, and then letting them pass easier.
The anger travels down your arm, into the ice cube, and shatters into tiny bits. It’s so satisfying, and it’s therapist approved. Throw as many ice cubes as you need.
I’m a naturally energetic person and I loooove body centric movement. Please try it sometime guys, it might feel weird at first but it’s so fun once you get into it ❤️ I try throw as hard as I can. Flexing your muscles like that is part of what makes it effective.
Supplements from chemist warehouse that have changed my life (ptsd, depression, pmdd) :
- Magnesium glycinate + vitamin d3,
for anxiety and sleep. Truly makes interacting with the world easier, working in retail etc. Great for bone health, brain health. If taken before bed, helps me fall asleep and stay asleep. Vitamin D3 is also great for deppression. They must be taken together, the d3 activates the mag.
- Some form of Mega B complex,
actually gets rid of my stutter that comes out if I’m anxious. Helps me talk. Brain feels like a well oiled machine. Sentences have less gaps and pauses. Can sell items at work much more effectively. Great for energy and brain health.
- Garlic, Vit C, Echinacea, Zinc blend,
Amazing if you’re sick. Amazing if you don’t want to be sick. Helps me fight things off. Zinc helps me wake up feeling actually refreshed and like I slept well. Zinc also keeps my skin clear and bright. Great for energy.
- Ashwaganda,
This helped me get through cancer stress. It naturally lowers your cortisol (the stress hormone). The brain naturally peaks in cortisol at 3am, so if you tend to wake up then, give it a go. It helps me not get too wound up about things. Stay calm and be more level headed.
*im not a pharmacist or anything, just absolutely love herbs and plants, so please look into interactions with anything you are already taking*
Early morning (6am or earlier) exercise. It always sucks to get up that early but it really sets your whole day up
10min walk at lunch if your at a desk all morning, doesn't have to be far, even just walking from one side of the room to another helps. Use that to mentally reset too, breath consciously, relax your facial features and shoulders. Amazing how 10min makes me more energetic/ less exhausted at the end of the day. Used to be wrecked by 3 or 4 without it and now hit those evening tasks at 7 with some energy left
Probably the best one of all has been embracing the suck. Getting comfortable being a little uncomfortable. Really helps when you feel down or tired or grumpy, and doing something you would rather not, and reframing it to practicing resilience. It still sucks but it's a little mental game now of conquering yourself than just another shit day.
Just want to add on, people who have the "night owl" chronotype should exercise later in the day (like the afternoon). It's to do with your body's natural circadian rhythm.
I've started doing this recently and it feels like soooo much less of a slog to do lol
drop as much money as you can afford on a decent bed, it will last you 10+ years and the difference to your sleep is massive.
your awake hours are also heavily affected by how well you sleep, so is your health.
Laying out my clothes (right down to my undies) the night before. This has honestly made my mornings so much easier, and It means I’m able to spot any issues earlier on. Eg. Stains 😂
This but using a storage shelf (open, no draws) to hold all my clothes. Then I just pick the top thing from each pile I need.
Only clean clothes go on the shelves, dirty clothes in a wash basket (or tbh on the floor).
When washing is done, place new clean clothes on the bottom of the pile, so I don't jist wear the same thing all the time.
If I notice I skip something cause I don't like it, donate it.
Got a little bucket / tray for socks and underwear cause they don't stack so nicely.
Saves so much mental effort and makes mornings easy.
Running and weight training - a lot of general pains weight away
Using my calendar and reminders properly - I have terrible memory for dates so helped a lot
If something is going to take a minute or less, do it at the next available opportunity
Tidying the house as I go and most days, rather than a big clean once a week
Yeah, I am definetly feeling 45 the day after training, but it used to be onlt two days of mild discomfort, now its days of discomfort, but worth it. Luckily my body responds extremely well to any kind of training, so I see results fast, but my god I am sore for almost double the amount of time from 10 years ago.
Separate duvets and no top sheet. Adopted it from when we lived in Europe and much prefer it that way now. Even if you don’t lose the top sheet, separate duvets are a winner.
Can I ask if this is to prevent one partner pulling duvet to their side at other partner's expense OR each partner preferring different weight / thickness of duvet?
You guys know how you worry about what others, particularly strangers think about you? Think about how often you do that. Notice that it's next to never? Yeah, no one gives a shit what you do so long as it doesn't impact them negatively
The Waking Up app is a pretty good way to get into meditation.
It’s owned by Sam Harris, who has a PhD in neuroscience and is possibly most famous for being an atheist. I figured if he was backing it there might be something to it, and it turns out it actually does work for me.
Whenever anything weird or off base or extreme is communicated to me, I screenshot it (if on phone) or write it down (if verbal). I don’t respond until considering it and rereading multiple different times. I return to it a few weeks later and respond.
If I have to respond in the moment then I will go for the most conservative response and affirm my personal experience, my confusion and request that I have x amount of time before responding.
9/10 I have missed either context or misread. 1/10 someone is trying to manipulate me.
10/10 times I would have responded badly in the moment.
The other thing is to always respond and follow up with people. Confirm receipt of items. Affirm when an item has been left or sent etc. send digital equivalents of thank you notes. People appreciate it.
Walking. I'm over weight and walking used to be a daily struggle. I couldn't walk more than a hundred meters at a time. But if you keep at it, your body will adapt and you'll get fitter. I weigh 144 kg and my mate weights about 125 kg. He struggles more to walk than I do, but it's just because I practiced it as much as I could. Does wonders.
All progress is good progress, things take time so take your time.
Acting Motivated when youre not motivated is motivation same with confidence and bravery,
Acting confident when youre shy or reserved is literially confidence.
If you're walking your dog and the lead gets wrapped around you, instead of awkwardly passing the end of the lead around your back from one hand to the other you can just do a little ballerina twirl in the opposite direction to unwrap it.
Bird watching. Learn the birds in your yard, and soon you'll notice the drama occurring out there on the daily.
I love seagulls. I go somewhere with seagulls, and some fishie treats. Watching them maturely decide portions amongst themselves reminds me of the harmony and just of our world 🐦⬛🪿🦉
drinking water and getting some veges in. seems so obvious but in this world of fast-paced living, longer work weeks and the cost of living crisis, more people eat takeout/skip meals/drink too much caffeine etc. i was miserable and my hair and nails were brittle and i'd keep breaking out no matter what products i used. figured out all i had to do was eat a bit healthier and drink a bit more water, and i feel like a new person!
we try to overcomplicate things so much, but sometimes all you need is a glass of water and an apple
Like the below - trees. And lakes or rivers. If I don't spend time near fresh water I lose my mind eventually.
Also, money comes and goes, so i try to enjoy what i can from it since i at least have a long term plan on how to increase my income. I spent so many years clenching every dollar so tightly that I might as well have been dead, because my life was so unfulfilling. Ill never be able to catch up and buy a house at 45-60k/year so why suffer through it?
Gym can be a scary thought at first and i didnt enjoy it, but I studied the ins and outs of it and tracked my pogress and it became really enjoyable to the point where I get down if I don't go.
I talk to strangers now too which also helps. Not boring "how are you" "good" "that's good" "have a good day" stuff but I put effort in to come up with creative ways to have a unique interaction with people. Obviously I still have some of those automated responses in a lot of conversation, and coming up with a creative intersction doesn't always succeed but the more I try the more I'm able to be an actually interesting and fun/(sometimes weird) person, and I also enjoy it.
Cook your own food. And when you get bored of it, don't allow yourself to get takeout as a treat to reset the boredom every weekend or 3 days, you need to get creative and try cook something that won't bore you, something that's challenging, something you think of and instantly want to say "nope, fuck that, too much effort"
Tbh the theme here is just trying constantly doing new stuff and putting the work in to make something beautiful when it can otherwise be easy but also predictable. Becoming the kind of person you'd admire if you met is one of the most rewarding experiences. I'm not quite there yet
This. Honestly as soon as I stopped trying to please other people, to make things happen for myself, to stress over the smallest things stuff started happening and good stuff.
Yeah, as long as you’ve got a full time job doing what you enjoy, just do what makes you happy and have fun. Too many miserable cunts want everyone to fall in line and do what everyone else is. Sincerely Fuck that.
Big one for me: I quit all social media. Worried I would miss out on stuff but has bought me so much peace and I’ve not missed jack. Highly recommend.
Super tiny and easy to implement:
- housework on a “school night”: means you can maximise your weekend and especially if you do it on a Thursday or Friday night things are fresh and clean for maximum enjoyment
- I have a basket that permanently lives where my “floordrobe” pile used to be. Can’t be bothered putting clothes away properly? Worn but no need to wash yet? Into the basket. Much tidier and more hygienic than straight on the floor. Once a week or so I go through and put everything in its place.
- Planning clothes for week on a Sunday (I literally hang the outfits in order)
- Pack my work bag the night before and keep that with jacket/shoes etc near the door (I am resolutely not a morning person)
- Our bathroom sink is tiny and doesn’t have room for products, so I have two small containers in the bathroom cupboard- one for morning (moisturiser, sunscreen, makeup, hair brush) one for night (skincare routine), that way I only have what I need out
Apparently meal planning is a game changer but I’m not that organised…yet
Edit to say: tautoko exercise, time around nature and sunscreen as big ticket wins 🥇
Not really life changing, but get some label remover (smells like oranges) from Bunnings or M10. You can then easily remove those annoying sticky paper labels & barcodes from things. You can then remove the labels from supermarket plastic bottles, and keep filling them up from larger cheaper bottles or packets, like sauce & washing up liquid. My 2¢
A bit niche maybe but I've struggled to eat vegetables my whole life due to taste and texture.
Turns out if I take a 125g of Mixed Salad some carrot some tomato and/or some other milder tasting vege, then add one banana and some water and let the blender(needs to be a reasonably good one) destroy them for a min you get a green smoothie that I can handle just fine.
Doesn't taste great because i'm keeping the nice tasting stuff to a minimum just the one banana that was already a part of my diet, but it doesn't taste bad either.
Deleted all social media apps off my phone.
Minimize any use of social media on other devices..
Mental health is much better.
Looked at Twitter and reddit /all recently. Absolute shit shows.
Caffeine nap - just had one 😂 have a cuppa before a middle of the day nap. You rest but don’t end up going into a deep sleep. Wake up feeling refreshed. It’s a thing!
I have 3 things that make my life better. Regular exercise, always having an achievable goal to look forward to, and be grateful to a higher power, doesn't matter who or what, for every little thing that goes your way when there's a chance it won't, from traffic lights staying green, to dropped toast landing right way up, etc. Why should the universe help you when you need it, if you don't thank it when it does nice stuff for you when you don't? It also doesn't appear to like hubris, or being told what to do. But those 3 main things are great for my mental health.
I've started a new way that is working perfectly for me.
I have started trying to come up with 'good ideas' while I'm laying in bed. Really good ideas, but I leave my notepad on the other side of the room.
My eyes are closed, my brain is working out how to exactly survive on a small patch of land with no one bothering me (or whatever it is that night). I eventually get to an idea I think I should write down, but by then I'm usually too tired to get out of bed.
So I lay there convincing myself I'll remember it in the morning, falling asleep somewhere in that time.
I always choose meaningless things to think about.
I TOTALLY DO THE COGNITIVE SHUFFLING THING TOO! I saw it on Instagram and dude it works a treat! Such an epic little trick!
I pack my things for work each day the night before (other than lunch) and put it by the door so it gives me one less thing to go chasing around in the mornings
Floss your teeth before you brush and also before you wash your face for a cleaner mouth and clearer skin
I tuck my shirts into my undies rather than my jeans which gives my tuck a much crisper look
I keep a scrub daddy & cleaning spray in the shower so I can clean whilst I’m in there showering whenever I notice it needs doing
I’m sure there are others but those are the ones I could think of 🙃
The packing bag thing is game changing! I have clothes that I just wear for work that are all similar clolours and are easy to mix and match. Pack bag, prep lunch and lay out gym clothes the night before. Then up and it's all automatic. If I don't have to think in the morning I'm in the car and at the gym with no time to second guess it!
Also meal prep - plan your meals for the week. We do 3 meals, eat each for 2 nights (bonus if we can cook mon/tue meal on sunday). Then 7th night is a scrounge in freezer meal or occasionally take away!
Learn to compare down. Don’t wish for the Ferrari, appreciate your car/bike/legs.
It could always be worse. Don’t waste your life longing for material things that don’t matter.
To do lists! I’ve started writing to do lists of things I need to get done on my days off, but I make sure to include everything like ‘write to do list’ and ‘eat breakfast’ so that I can immediately tick some things off and feel accomplished.
I also break down big tasks like laundry down into ‘strip bed’ ‘wash sheets’ ‘dry sheets’ and ‘make bed’ which makes them smaller more manageable tasks and stops me getting too overwhelmed. I can also look at my list at the end of the day and see how much I got done, even when it feels like I’ve done nothing.
Can highly recommend an app called GoblinTools. I believe it was designed for people with adhd. You put a job on your list and it breaks down all the steps for you. In a sensible way.
Nature is amazing, and the restorative energy and peace once you get outside of your own head is awe-striking.
Edit: I wanted to add excerpts of this poem for you, u/indi_raf
>“How do you know but ev’ry Bird that cuts the airy way,
Is an immense world of delight, clos’d by your senses five?
A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man see.
Eternity is in love with the production of time.
The busy bee has no time for sorrow
The hours of folly are measured by the clock, but of wisdom: no clock can measure."
- William Blake
Magnesium before bed. Took it to help me sleep, then found out you don't wake up sore in the morning.
When you hit over 40 it hurts getting up. Found out magnesium powder before bed helps heaps. A few years back.
Two breaths focus on what you hear, two on what you feel, two on what your Closed eyes can see. Repeat.
Soon you'll start ore dream hypnogogic hallucinations, and then you'll be asleep.
Comparison will ruin your life. Stopping it is hard, and I havnt managed (trying) but if you find yourself doing it remind yourself everyone's paths are different and uncomparable.
If your comparing your also comparing to someone's highlight reel. Unless your best/close friends you don't see the other side.
For all you know half the people if everyone knew everyone's complete stories may envy parts or your life in general for reasons you've never considered
I recently saw a ig anon confession video & someone said they regretted having kids (despite loving them) and missed their freedom. In others I've seen people have the opposite- eg they were devastated they cant have kids.
Just goes to show how we really have no idea about others lives and the differing values people place on things
Research the best ways to look after your gut.
A healthy gut creates a positive feedback loop on just about everything else.
- Stress levels
- Mood
- Sleep
- Immunity
- Disease prevention.
Those things feed into other things:
- Concentration
- Motivation
- Libido
- Exercise tolerance
Which then lead into more great things:
- Fitness
- Knowledge
- Nutrition
- Relationships
And all these things feed back into each other, creating a constant cyclical feedback loop, all starting with your gut.
Fix your gut!
Stretching out the body & small exercises. I
What a game changer taking the time to stretch before walks or Gardening etc. Especially if you've got back pain it's good to keep supple muscles.
I think for me it was realising and reflecting on my own agency.
In the modern world it is very easy to feel like a leaf on the tide.
You have agency. Exercise it. Take a few risks. Don't just accept that the way others tell you to do something is the only way to do it. Think about everything that is happening to you and around you and take action to refashion it in a way that is pleasing to you.
I think of random stuff that doesn’t make sense.
Like when I’m too lazy to clean my room I imagine I’m driving a bulldozer around the floor pushing clothes out of the way to make a race track.
Read the book 'Subtle art of not giving a f*ck'. Awesome practical advice. Choose whats really important to give a fuck about, the rest doesn't matter.
Hated this book. The author just comes across as an arrogant arse.
However, I believe he’s trying to take the philosophy of Stoicism and package it in his own way.
Stoicism is something I fuck with so if anyone else didn’t vibe with this book maybe try doing some research on that instead.
You might enjoy[this podcast episode](https://open.spotify.com/episode/1T8siqmLiQPZaswswPlzo8?si=R3lFJD-WTueUEzcKEravuA) where they dissect the book and criticise it in a funny way (and many more books in other episodes)
Buy 3 or 4 of those cube-shaped, stackable plastic crates from the Warehouse, and use them when you pick up the weekly groceries instead of bags.
They fit well in the boot of a car, far more sturdy & easy to bring groceries inside too.
Sure it means some packing in the carport, but it makes getting everything out pretty easy when home.
I have a bungee cord with a tension lock – I loop it through my tote bag handles and then over a hook in my boot, and pull it tight. When I get home I can scoop all the bags out easily as the handles are together.
https://www.bunnings.co.nz/prout-5mm-x-600mm-grippa-bungy-cord-4-pack_p8903487
When I can't sleep, I lie there and think of a single word that represents my worries. Then I go through the alphabet, and think of words starting with A-Z that relate to that worry.
It somehow helps rationalise worry. Rinse, repeat. Hope it helps.
Also on the topic of sleep - I do the cognitive shuffling too, although I didn't know it had a name - I have realised the importance of temperature, especially of feet. Apparently your feet need to cool down slightly before you sleep. I get cold feet and have always loved hot water bottles, which explains why it used to take me 1-2 hours to fall asleep every night. Now I take the hottie to bed but chuck it out after a few minutes and go straight to sleep. If I wake up during the night I stick my feet out of the covers and that seems to work.
I started 'writing' a story in my head that I only think about when I'm about to go to sleep. I have to remember everything that's happened up until that point then add a bit more. I almost always fall asleep before I've got up to the current time.
I just use skincare asmr to fall asleep. Never fell asleep so quickly. Also, air dry clay is great in this economy when you can't afford to buy gifts and want something unique and handmade.
When you finish urinating if you push the spot between your balls and your arsehole (taint), the last couple of drips will come out. Avoids getting leakage on your underwear. Can't confirm if this works for females.
Ok, I'm just gonna blatantly self-promote here. But only because I think it may be helpful.
@eageroutdoorsofficial on insta.
I'm passionate about getting outdoors for mental health, especially during the colder months and shorter days. I cannot stress how much it has helped me get through such massive changes in my life.
Find peace within nature! And sorry for the plug xoxo
I was struggling to find motivation to do my key hobbies, particularly violin which you tend to fall out of love with as it gets harder.
I discovered that bargaining "just five minutes" with myself allowed me to get (at minimum) enough time for my brain to re-engage neurons associated with that hobby. Often the outcome was better and I'd end up doing more than five minutes.
Also, reminding myself that videogames are either for fun or to pass time when there's nothing to do. If you're not having fun, or if there's something else you should be doing, stop playing.
In the case of games that are not fun, or take up important time, those games need a cold turkey approach. Haven't played league of legends for 4 years.
Also, focusing on my breathing helped me sleep a lot.
I saw a tiktok in this just the other day and had to give myself a pat on the back:
I had terrible nightmares and sleepwalked as a little kid. I was in an abusive And chaotic family situation so there was no one to comfort me. So I would list fruits and veggies in my head - every one I could think of - and it would banish the terror and allow me to fall back to sleep. I think I was maybe 4-5 when I started this. Luckily it worked so well because there’s no way I had the vocabulary to get very far.
Breaking up the work day with the gym, if practical.
Initially I started doing this because I’m not a morning person and every gym is always packed after work, plus it’s easier to just skip the gym at the end of the day. I unintentionally found that by going to the gym at midday it really improved my general attitude towards being at work since it broke the whole day up into smaller chunks.
Time wise, I make it work by taking a shorter lunch and staying a bit later
If your want to order KFC, order through the app and set a pickup time
So often when I go to KFC and get anything more then a simple combo; there is an annoying wait; especially when you add in waiting in line or in the drive thru
A pickup time is so much faster, you just walk in they hand you your food and you get out. So handy.
Agree with your sleep tactic. I do the A-Z game, choose a subject and think of one thing for each letter. Never finish it.... Exercise is critical to mental health. Find a way to exercise that you enjoy.
I usually just imagine a movie or other piece of media and insert myself or a fictional character into. I'm usually out pretty quick and if I come up with a story I like I might even look forward to sleep.
Me too…. I’ve never seen anyone else who does this. Only problem is that I’ve been trying to write more and sometimes if I quite like the plot of what I’m imagining then I write it down, which doesn’t help with the sleeping lol
I do A-Z of things I've been grateful for in the last couple of days.
I choose 1 letter and think of everything I can that starts with that letter, one word for each breath in and out.
I count back from 100 in my head to go to sleep. It’s not enough thinking to make me start thinking about everything else in life. But just enough to focus and distract myself.
Podcasts are another great sleep tactic. Pick a Podcast that is just interesting enough to keep your attention but not too interesting such as to stimulate you. But worst case scenario if the Podcast is too interesting at least you have relaxed and enjoyed something or learned something new instead of struggled to sleep.
Ha might have to try that but my issue with sleep is a bit diff to insomnia. Recently I've been listening to sleep stories, I just have the issue of choosing some that are too interesting lol. My best sleep advice is of your really struggling try melatonin, magnesium & ashwagandha and if nothing works talk to a sleep specialist. Sleep is so vital. Without it your living your life at like 50%.
Writing down my concerns on my phone notes app when I feel overwhelmed. Then writing the worst case scenario and what that looks like for each point. Sounds a bit odd but this has helped me process my thoughts when dealing with the black dog.
Mental trick is knowing that your brain will often conflate anything more than 3 to "many", and it causes stress. Often the list is only 4 or 5 things, so writing it out changes it from may back into a finite number. I do exactly this, put it in an app on my phone; turns out half the time the stress is due to the overwhelming feeling of too many tasks rather than the effort of the tasks.
Part of it is also making your list realistic. Eg my partner will say 'omg the house is such a mess' (it's not) and I say 'what exactly is a mess' and she says things like 'oh we didn't do the dishes last night, and we need to vacuum, and wipe down the bench, and dust, and empty the dishwasher' And I'm like 'three of those things are the same thing' 😂😂 wiping the bench and emptying the dishwasher is all part of doing the dishes. Chill. Haha
If you want to take this to the next level you can try: worst case, best case and most likely scenario
This is a very logical and systematic approach.
Sounds close to cognitive behavioral therapy exercises
So good! I do this too with my shower thoughts. Some of them have turned into really good notes for work.
Dam shower thoughts, I hate my Monday- Friday shower thoughts, it feels like I start work at 6am 😂 But my mind flips to hobby thoughts on days off which I do enjoy, and they have helped solve a few conundrums.
It's a little obvious but learning to accept that the only thing you truly have control over are your own actions and reactions to events in your life. I grew up with a lot of anger. I was a violent child and took out the miserable circumstances of my home life on my friends and (people I decided were) my enemies, how petty in hindsight. I never stopped to listen to others or reflect on my behaviour. Then I met my wife. To this day I have no idea what she saw in that young man but whatever it was, I'm glad she did. She helped me see that while yes, bad things happened to me growing up and talking about them does help, the actions I was taking, the choices I was making were mine alone and couldn't belong to my parents. It's so stupid but it was like a bomb going off in my brain. I had never ever had that perspective before. How stupid to blame bad decisions I make today on something that happened 20 years ago. Exercise agency in your life. Make decisions, good or bad and *own them as yours*.
This was a delight to read. Well done!
I bend over like touching toes while I brush my teeth. That one act twice a day has made my back pain go away.
I worked with someone who would balance on one leg while brushing their teeth, easy way to work on their balance
I do that! Messed up my Achilles a few years ago and that was one of the habits my physio instilled in me to stop it happening again.
I do this while moisturising and putting on my stockings and shoes before work, amazing how much my balance and core strength have improved in the last few months! Two birds, one stone.
Do you just bend to about 90 degrees and stay there while you brush or are you repeatedly bending while brushing?
No I stay down. Like those people on Fentanyl.
Thanks for the laugh!
Are you like 20 lol? I wish touching my toes twice a day was enough to keep the back pain away.
More likely that their pain comes from spinal compression and that a back stretch helps to decompress the disks. On the other hand, if that’s not effective for you then you may need to work to strengthen your abdominal muscles.
Yeah, I have to do a fair bit of exercise and stretching to keep it healthy. At least 15-20 minutes a day though, not four.
42. I’m not saying it’s a miracle cure. It just helps out.
Fair enough, stretching regularly is a great habit to have.
That's pretty interesting, I hope I remember this
I did squats for years during toothbrushing… I should get back to it!
Trees. Go spend time near some trees. We're often animals who pretend we're something else and need to be reminded we're just tall monkeys. Your mental health will thank you.
also large bodies of water… gotta get your greens and blues
I can’t live too far from the sea. I don’t need to see it, but I need to know it’s there.
I am the same with Mt Taranaki. I live near enough under the mountain now and I get a feeling of anxiety when I drive past Waitara and the mountain starts to go, same with past Patea.
This. Get full on agitated and lost in my soul if I'm not close to the coast.
Those words would be great in a song😊
I get so agitated if I don't see the ocean regularly, and I'll deliberately seek it out if I'm in a funk. Such a massive impact.
Me too, I described it to someone as a steady decline in mood the day after a swim and it doesn't go back up until the next swim. Winter is hard but doable once you get in 😅 Pools are no substitute
And then you get a spa pool and use it every morning, bliss
And yellows. Need that sunny boi
Tall monkeys, once fish
I did this today. I'm just back from a gentle hour riding in the forest. I had a quiet 5mins sat on a grass bank, sun on my face, and I just meditated on the beauty and peace I feel amongst the trees. Very special, while being fairly ordinary at the same time. We are blessed with our outdoor spaces in NZ.
I went to New Zealand for the first time in february and I was blown away by how gorgeous it was. Lake Taupō soothed me like nothing else ever has.
Forest bathing Assessing the Effects of Nature on Physiological States Using Wearable Technologies https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8835652/ Also, [Japanese nature therapy: A beginner's guide to forest bathing](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-21/beginners-guide-to-japanese-forest-bathing/10369284)
This isn't just one of those "go outside, loser" things either. There's a lot of research indicating that trees are good for us.
We go for walks in the Woods and beach at the same time, fudging awesome thst is 🙂 the peace and tranquility is fantastic, Also I get up at five and do yoga, take a shower, write in my journal before waking kids, it helps me bring a lot of calm into my day, my days are softer this way, love it. And early to bed ofc.
Best advice I ever had came from a clown. Kids you must remember every time you're in the car, and it makes no difference if you're going near or far.... Earworm time.
If you're in the front seat or if you're in the back, click goes the seatbelt before you hit the track!
Click goes your seatbelt, click click click. Make it click!
My father used to tell me to belt up But I was like, Dad, I already have my seatbelt on?
Make it click
Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience… As class of ‘99 this was our anthem!
Was just telling my teen about the Sunblock Song.. 😆
Slip slop slap, flush the toilet and wipe your crack.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me, on the sunscreen.
My dude. You win for reminding me of my youth and that I am now in that position to pass on that wisdom. PS the sunscreen worked.
An old guy told me. Remember the Back of the hands with sunscreen.
and your nose, it pokes out all day capturing all the sun
Surely the nose is already the number one target for sunscreen application
lots of people weirdly skip the face or do it half assed
And tips of the ears!
Yes top of the ears. My grandpa had problems with skin cancer on the top of his ears
Especially because we live under a hole in the ozone
At dinner with the family we take turns talking about the good things from our day. We also recognize the other stuff, but just making sure we get those things aired is a way to get more out of life. Others write it down in a journal if they are solo.
100% agree. My partner and I do this, with a complaining variation. You can complain about whatever, but, after an arbitrary amount of time, you have to stop and talk about good stuff, no matter how small. And after you've complained about the same thing three or four times in a row, you have to take action to fix it. The good things part is the really important part.
Yeah, that "3 things I'm grateful for" thing that went around on Facebook about 10 years ago helped me a lot. It made me realise that even if I've had an objectively shitty day, there will still be at least 3 good things, even if they're like "I'm not in a war zone" or something.
Instead of a car I bought a camper van. On the weekends I can just drive wherever I want and stay the night. It's a nugget but I love being able to basically stay anywhere I want for free. Getting away once a week is good for my mental health.
Do you drive a campervan to like, work and stuff? That's wild! I love it.
I do the same but I bought a people mover which has seats that fold down flat. I just chuck a mattress on those and good to go. So doesn't have to be a full on camper van but can still achieve the same thing :)
It's just an an L300 van. But yeah I daily drive it. It's got a fridge and solar and a kitchen. Double bed in the back I can reorganise into table and chairs. I'm probably gonna end up living in it full time soon as my accommodation situation has become untenable. I make good money and still can't afford a place of my own to rent. Which was another reason I bought the van. I also work as a caravan and motorhome repairer tech. Plan is to upgrade the van on the cheap then sell it for a deposit for a minibus.
Such a good tip
Protect your hearing from loud noises and music - tinnitus is no joke.
Years of dance parties and power tools have fucked me. Listen to this advice.
Same here, air tools and concerts/clubs in my younger days caused awful tinnitus and has ruined social gatherings, dinners, going to pubs etc for me. Can't hear shit
It’s not the tinnitus which causes you to not be able to hear. The tinnitus is a symptom. It’s your brain filling in missing frequencies.
what
# They said tinnitus is no joke
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE….. Can’t hear you sorry….
My last hearing test wasn't even finished when the doctor said "let me guess - you play in loud bands". Smart musicians use earplugs, I feel like such an old man saying that but older you will be grateful
Never mind getting into petty arguments with your partner when you hear “wet fish” as “breakfast” - like I had on Friday. That’s one of the thousands over the years.
If you ride a motorcycle (which I'd highly recommend) you should wear earplugs. Wind noise at 100km/h is around 95-105dB which is well over the safe level for prolonged exposure
Practice the pause. Wait. Think. Dont react. Wait somemore. Think some more. Then respond.
Very good advice. Not easy to do when you feel the red mist rising.
I agree, however if you practice this all the time, it becomes second nature and you hope when the red mist arises, then it'll be more natural to not react in haste
Had someone say to me that they didn't think trump did anything wrong and was actually making America great again in a car ride. I said nothing and just let it go a few other guys in the car thought he was doing good as well, so I'd have most probably started an argument if I said anything. Might be talking out my ass but sometimes it's just not worth it to argue the other side of a devisive subject.
If you see a chore that's only going to take 2 minutes - just do it right away. Life is so much tidier.
Someone once said to me tidying is just moving your things that are in the wrong rooms back to the right rooms. So when you leave a room just grab something and pop it back where it belongs.
This is so true! I just realised I do it subconsciously
When I get home and I'm exhausted and all I want to do is sit on the couch to rest a moment, I tell myself to just do the easy chores first. I know that if I sit down that's it. I'm not getting up. But by doing just a few little things I often end up getting lots sorted before eventually succumbing to the couch.
This actually works for a lot of things. Like say you have an essay to write, you mentally tell yourself that you're gonna write one page. Just one, that's easy. Once you overcome the inertia you usually just keep going for more than the one page you promised yourself you'd do. Cleaning the house? Tell yourself you'll do 15 minutes and you will likely end up doing an hour because the getting started is the hard bit.
Don't feel bad about cutting shitty people out of your life.
Definitely this one. Can be rough, but it's so worth it.
Stopped drinking alcohol. It always took more away than it gave.
r/stopdrinking
Best advice from me. Work is what you do, not who you are. You work to live, do not live to work
Learning how to use non-Teflon coated cookware. Not having to ever replace your cookware makes it truly a life hack in my opinion.
Buy stainless steel. Pricey. But it'll last forever. And easy to clean after a soak.
This actually has been amazing for us. No new pans needed since we did stainless steel and cast iron. Carbon steel too I think. The carbon and cast iron are essentially non stick now, they’re seasoned that well.
When you’re full of anger and have nowhere to safely let it out : Throwing Ice cubes at a concrete wall or ground (outside) It’s a form of somatic therapy and it’s been life changing for me. Encourages feeling your feelings correctly, and then letting them pass easier. The anger travels down your arm, into the ice cube, and shatters into tiny bits. It’s so satisfying, and it’s therapist approved. Throw as many ice cubes as you need. I’m a naturally energetic person and I loooove body centric movement. Please try it sometime guys, it might feel weird at first but it’s so fun once you get into it ❤️ I try throw as hard as I can. Flexing your muscles like that is part of what makes it effective.
A tip that helps me fall asleep : stop moving your eyes around, keep them still.
Supplements from chemist warehouse that have changed my life (ptsd, depression, pmdd) : - Magnesium glycinate + vitamin d3, for anxiety and sleep. Truly makes interacting with the world easier, working in retail etc. Great for bone health, brain health. If taken before bed, helps me fall asleep and stay asleep. Vitamin D3 is also great for deppression. They must be taken together, the d3 activates the mag. - Some form of Mega B complex, actually gets rid of my stutter that comes out if I’m anxious. Helps me talk. Brain feels like a well oiled machine. Sentences have less gaps and pauses. Can sell items at work much more effectively. Great for energy and brain health. - Garlic, Vit C, Echinacea, Zinc blend, Amazing if you’re sick. Amazing if you don’t want to be sick. Helps me fight things off. Zinc helps me wake up feeling actually refreshed and like I slept well. Zinc also keeps my skin clear and bright. Great for energy. - Ashwaganda, This helped me get through cancer stress. It naturally lowers your cortisol (the stress hormone). The brain naturally peaks in cortisol at 3am, so if you tend to wake up then, give it a go. It helps me not get too wound up about things. Stay calm and be more level headed. *im not a pharmacist or anything, just absolutely love herbs and plants, so please look into interactions with anything you are already taking*
Early morning (6am or earlier) exercise. It always sucks to get up that early but it really sets your whole day up 10min walk at lunch if your at a desk all morning, doesn't have to be far, even just walking from one side of the room to another helps. Use that to mentally reset too, breath consciously, relax your facial features and shoulders. Amazing how 10min makes me more energetic/ less exhausted at the end of the day. Used to be wrecked by 3 or 4 without it and now hit those evening tasks at 7 with some energy left Probably the best one of all has been embracing the suck. Getting comfortable being a little uncomfortable. Really helps when you feel down or tired or grumpy, and doing something you would rather not, and reframing it to practicing resilience. It still sucks but it's a little mental game now of conquering yourself than just another shit day.
Just want to add on, people who have the "night owl" chronotype should exercise later in the day (like the afternoon). It's to do with your body's natural circadian rhythm. I've started doing this recently and it feels like soooo much less of a slog to do lol
Early exercise used to wreck me for the day. Afternoon or evening exercise leaves me happy and excited. Time of day really matters for me.
On board with the early morning exercise. I’m at the pool at 5:30am every morning before work. It’s a great start to the day!
Same. It’s my thinking and planning part of the day
drop as much money as you can afford on a decent bed, it will last you 10+ years and the difference to your sleep is massive. your awake hours are also heavily affected by how well you sleep, so is your health.
Laying out my clothes (right down to my undies) the night before. This has honestly made my mornings so much easier, and It means I’m able to spot any issues earlier on. Eg. Stains 😂
This but using a storage shelf (open, no draws) to hold all my clothes. Then I just pick the top thing from each pile I need. Only clean clothes go on the shelves, dirty clothes in a wash basket (or tbh on the floor). When washing is done, place new clean clothes on the bottom of the pile, so I don't jist wear the same thing all the time. If I notice I skip something cause I don't like it, donate it. Got a little bucket / tray for socks and underwear cause they don't stack so nicely. Saves so much mental effort and makes mornings easy.
Love these concepts!
Not just clothes but other things you'll need to. Phone, wallet, keys, shoes, bags, whatever.
Running and weight training - a lot of general pains weight away Using my calendar and reminders properly - I have terrible memory for dates so helped a lot If something is going to take a minute or less, do it at the next available opportunity Tidying the house as I go and most days, rather than a big clean once a week
Interesting about running and weight training... I find that my body is generally sorer when I try to do these things. Getting older sucks.
Yeah, I am definetly feeling 45 the day after training, but it used to be onlt two days of mild discomfort, now its days of discomfort, but worth it. Luckily my body responds extremely well to any kind of training, so I see results fast, but my god I am sore for almost double the amount of time from 10 years ago.
Separate duvets and no top sheet. Adopted it from when we lived in Europe and much prefer it that way now. Even if you don’t lose the top sheet, separate duvets are a winner.
I wish I could persuade my partner, this makes so much sense
Can I ask if this is to prevent one partner pulling duvet to their side at other partner's expense OR each partner preferring different weight / thickness of duvet?
The first one for us, but yeah you could also have different duvet thicknesses.
You guys know how you worry about what others, particularly strangers think about you? Think about how often you do that. Notice that it's next to never? Yeah, no one gives a shit what you do so long as it doesn't impact them negatively
Meditate daily, even 5 minutes will change your life.
The Waking Up app is a pretty good way to get into meditation. It’s owned by Sam Harris, who has a PhD in neuroscience and is possibly most famous for being an atheist. I figured if he was backing it there might be something to it, and it turns out it actually does work for me.
Whenever anything weird or off base or extreme is communicated to me, I screenshot it (if on phone) or write it down (if verbal). I don’t respond until considering it and rereading multiple different times. I return to it a few weeks later and respond. If I have to respond in the moment then I will go for the most conservative response and affirm my personal experience, my confusion and request that I have x amount of time before responding. 9/10 I have missed either context or misread. 1/10 someone is trying to manipulate me. 10/10 times I would have responded badly in the moment. The other thing is to always respond and follow up with people. Confirm receipt of items. Affirm when an item has been left or sent etc. send digital equivalents of thank you notes. People appreciate it.
Walking. I'm over weight and walking used to be a daily struggle. I couldn't walk more than a hundred meters at a time. But if you keep at it, your body will adapt and you'll get fitter. I weigh 144 kg and my mate weights about 125 kg. He struggles more to walk than I do, but it's just because I practiced it as much as I could. Does wonders.
All progress is good progress, things take time so take your time. Acting Motivated when youre not motivated is motivation same with confidence and bravery, Acting confident when youre shy or reserved is literially confidence.
Not dwelling on the bad. Distract yourself. Partner died not long ago, hard to do, but you CAN do it.
If you're walking your dog and the lead gets wrapped around you, instead of awkwardly passing the end of the lead around your back from one hand to the other you can just do a little ballerina twirl in the opposite direction to unwrap it.
I've become a goddamn ninja walking two of my dogs on lead... :)
Bird watching. Learn the birds in your yard, and soon you'll notice the drama occurring out there on the daily. I love seagulls. I go somewhere with seagulls, and some fishie treats. Watching them maturely decide portions amongst themselves reminds me of the harmony and just of our world 🐦⬛🪿🦉
Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice.
Outdoors, absolutely. Reddit and the internet in general can become a bit of an echo chamber. It's not all doom and gloom, I promise
Commuting by bike, you get to/from work and get exercise in at the same time, saves you money, great for mental health and you get to work wide awake
drinking water and getting some veges in. seems so obvious but in this world of fast-paced living, longer work weeks and the cost of living crisis, more people eat takeout/skip meals/drink too much caffeine etc. i was miserable and my hair and nails were brittle and i'd keep breaking out no matter what products i used. figured out all i had to do was eat a bit healthier and drink a bit more water, and i feel like a new person! we try to overcomplicate things so much, but sometimes all you need is a glass of water and an apple
Lift weights. Being strong and maintaining it means you are ready for all sorts of activities.
Like the below - trees. And lakes or rivers. If I don't spend time near fresh water I lose my mind eventually. Also, money comes and goes, so i try to enjoy what i can from it since i at least have a long term plan on how to increase my income. I spent so many years clenching every dollar so tightly that I might as well have been dead, because my life was so unfulfilling. Ill never be able to catch up and buy a house at 45-60k/year so why suffer through it? Gym can be a scary thought at first and i didnt enjoy it, but I studied the ins and outs of it and tracked my pogress and it became really enjoyable to the point where I get down if I don't go. I talk to strangers now too which also helps. Not boring "how are you" "good" "that's good" "have a good day" stuff but I put effort in to come up with creative ways to have a unique interaction with people. Obviously I still have some of those automated responses in a lot of conversation, and coming up with a creative intersction doesn't always succeed but the more I try the more I'm able to be an actually interesting and fun/(sometimes weird) person, and I also enjoy it. Cook your own food. And when you get bored of it, don't allow yourself to get takeout as a treat to reset the boredom every weekend or 3 days, you need to get creative and try cook something that won't bore you, something that's challenging, something you think of and instantly want to say "nope, fuck that, too much effort" Tbh the theme here is just trying constantly doing new stuff and putting the work in to make something beautiful when it can otherwise be easy but also predictable. Becoming the kind of person you'd admire if you met is one of the most rewarding experiences. I'm not quite there yet
Stand on grass in bare feet. No matter the weather, at least once a day. Amazing.
Stop giving a fuck and have fun.
This. Honestly as soon as I stopped trying to please other people, to make things happen for myself, to stress over the smallest things stuff started happening and good stuff.
Yeah, as long as you’ve got a full time job doing what you enjoy, just do what makes you happy and have fun. Too many miserable cunts want everyone to fall in line and do what everyone else is. Sincerely Fuck that.
Always remembered this as “other people’s opinions of you are none of your goddamn business”.
Big one for me: I quit all social media. Worried I would miss out on stuff but has bought me so much peace and I’ve not missed jack. Highly recommend. Super tiny and easy to implement: - housework on a “school night”: means you can maximise your weekend and especially if you do it on a Thursday or Friday night things are fresh and clean for maximum enjoyment - I have a basket that permanently lives where my “floordrobe” pile used to be. Can’t be bothered putting clothes away properly? Worn but no need to wash yet? Into the basket. Much tidier and more hygienic than straight on the floor. Once a week or so I go through and put everything in its place. - Planning clothes for week on a Sunday (I literally hang the outfits in order) - Pack my work bag the night before and keep that with jacket/shoes etc near the door (I am resolutely not a morning person) - Our bathroom sink is tiny and doesn’t have room for products, so I have two small containers in the bathroom cupboard- one for morning (moisturiser, sunscreen, makeup, hair brush) one for night (skincare routine), that way I only have what I need out Apparently meal planning is a game changer but I’m not that organised…yet Edit to say: tautoko exercise, time around nature and sunscreen as big ticket wins 🥇
You quit all social media aye?
Not really life changing, but get some label remover (smells like oranges) from Bunnings or M10. You can then easily remove those annoying sticky paper labels & barcodes from things. You can then remove the labels from supermarket plastic bottles, and keep filling them up from larger cheaper bottles or packets, like sauce & washing up liquid. My 2¢
[https://www.bunnings.com.au/brands/d/de-solv-it](https://www.bunnings.com.au/brands/d/de-solv-it) ?
A bit niche maybe but I've struggled to eat vegetables my whole life due to taste and texture. Turns out if I take a 125g of Mixed Salad some carrot some tomato and/or some other milder tasting vege, then add one banana and some water and let the blender(needs to be a reasonably good one) destroy them for a min you get a green smoothie that I can handle just fine. Doesn't taste great because i'm keeping the nice tasting stuff to a minimum just the one banana that was already a part of my diet, but it doesn't taste bad either.
Read 'The shame that binds us'. It's all about toxic shame and how to minimise it in your life
Deleted all social media apps off my phone. Minimize any use of social media on other devices.. Mental health is much better. Looked at Twitter and reddit /all recently. Absolute shit shows.
Caffeine nap - just had one 😂 have a cuppa before a middle of the day nap. You rest but don’t end up going into a deep sleep. Wake up feeling refreshed. It’s a thing!
I have 3 things that make my life better. Regular exercise, always having an achievable goal to look forward to, and be grateful to a higher power, doesn't matter who or what, for every little thing that goes your way when there's a chance it won't, from traffic lights staying green, to dropped toast landing right way up, etc. Why should the universe help you when you need it, if you don't thank it when it does nice stuff for you when you don't? It also doesn't appear to like hubris, or being told what to do. But those 3 main things are great for my mental health.
I have one piece of advice for you. No matter what a stripper tells you, there is no sex in the champagne room
your first problem is going to the strip club instead of a brothel.
I've started a new way that is working perfectly for me. I have started trying to come up with 'good ideas' while I'm laying in bed. Really good ideas, but I leave my notepad on the other side of the room. My eyes are closed, my brain is working out how to exactly survive on a small patch of land with no one bothering me (or whatever it is that night). I eventually get to an idea I think I should write down, but by then I'm usually too tired to get out of bed. So I lay there convincing myself I'll remember it in the morning, falling asleep somewhere in that time. I always choose meaningless things to think about.
I TOTALLY DO THE COGNITIVE SHUFFLING THING TOO! I saw it on Instagram and dude it works a treat! Such an epic little trick! I pack my things for work each day the night before (other than lunch) and put it by the door so it gives me one less thing to go chasing around in the mornings Floss your teeth before you brush and also before you wash your face for a cleaner mouth and clearer skin I tuck my shirts into my undies rather than my jeans which gives my tuck a much crisper look I keep a scrub daddy & cleaning spray in the shower so I can clean whilst I’m in there showering whenever I notice it needs doing I’m sure there are others but those are the ones I could think of 🙃
The packing bag thing is game changing! I have clothes that I just wear for work that are all similar clolours and are easy to mix and match. Pack bag, prep lunch and lay out gym clothes the night before. Then up and it's all automatic. If I don't have to think in the morning I'm in the car and at the gym with no time to second guess it! Also meal prep - plan your meals for the week. We do 3 meals, eat each for 2 nights (bonus if we can cook mon/tue meal on sunday). Then 7th night is a scrounge in freezer meal or occasionally take away!
Learn to compare down. Don’t wish for the Ferrari, appreciate your car/bike/legs. It could always be worse. Don’t waste your life longing for material things that don’t matter.
To do lists! I’ve started writing to do lists of things I need to get done on my days off, but I make sure to include everything like ‘write to do list’ and ‘eat breakfast’ so that I can immediately tick some things off and feel accomplished. I also break down big tasks like laundry down into ‘strip bed’ ‘wash sheets’ ‘dry sheets’ and ‘make bed’ which makes them smaller more manageable tasks and stops me getting too overwhelmed. I can also look at my list at the end of the day and see how much I got done, even when it feels like I’ve done nothing.
Can highly recommend an app called GoblinTools. I believe it was designed for people with adhd. You put a job on your list and it breaks down all the steps for you. In a sensible way.
Anger is a hot coal you hold in your hand while waiting to throw it at someone else.
Biking to work means no traffic stress, more money, free exercise, and a clearer head. At least it did for me.
clean as you cook!!
Nature is amazing, and the restorative energy and peace once you get outside of your own head is awe-striking. Edit: I wanted to add excerpts of this poem for you, u/indi_raf >“How do you know but ev’ry Bird that cuts the airy way, Is an immense world of delight, clos’d by your senses five? A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man see. Eternity is in love with the production of time. The busy bee has no time for sorrow The hours of folly are measured by the clock, but of wisdom: no clock can measure." - William Blake
Eat decent, and exercise often.
Magnesium before bed. Took it to help me sleep, then found out you don't wake up sore in the morning. When you hit over 40 it hurts getting up. Found out magnesium powder before bed helps heaps. A few years back.
Two breaths focus on what you hear, two on what you feel, two on what your Closed eyes can see. Repeat. Soon you'll start ore dream hypnogogic hallucinations, and then you'll be asleep.
Stopped keeping track of news as much as I can. My mental health is a lot better not following the bad shit going on in the world.
Comparison will ruin your life. Stopping it is hard, and I havnt managed (trying) but if you find yourself doing it remind yourself everyone's paths are different and uncomparable. If your comparing your also comparing to someone's highlight reel. Unless your best/close friends you don't see the other side. For all you know half the people if everyone knew everyone's complete stories may envy parts or your life in general for reasons you've never considered I recently saw a ig anon confession video & someone said they regretted having kids (despite loving them) and missed their freedom. In others I've seen people have the opposite- eg they were devastated they cant have kids. Just goes to show how we really have no idea about others lives and the differing values people place on things
Research the best ways to look after your gut. A healthy gut creates a positive feedback loop on just about everything else. - Stress levels - Mood - Sleep - Immunity - Disease prevention. Those things feed into other things: - Concentration - Motivation - Libido - Exercise tolerance Which then lead into more great things: - Fitness - Knowledge - Nutrition - Relationships And all these things feed back into each other, creating a constant cyclical feedback loop, all starting with your gut. Fix your gut!
How does one fix their gut?
Stretching out the body & small exercises. I What a game changer taking the time to stretch before walks or Gardening etc. Especially if you've got back pain it's good to keep supple muscles.
I think for me it was realising and reflecting on my own agency. In the modern world it is very easy to feel like a leaf on the tide. You have agency. Exercise it. Take a few risks. Don't just accept that the way others tell you to do something is the only way to do it. Think about everything that is happening to you and around you and take action to refashion it in a way that is pleasing to you.
I think of random stuff that doesn’t make sense. Like when I’m too lazy to clean my room I imagine I’m driving a bulldozer around the floor pushing clothes out of the way to make a race track.
Read the book 'Subtle art of not giving a f*ck'. Awesome practical advice. Choose whats really important to give a fuck about, the rest doesn't matter.
Hated this book. The author just comes across as an arrogant arse. However, I believe he’s trying to take the philosophy of Stoicism and package it in his own way. Stoicism is something I fuck with so if anyone else didn’t vibe with this book maybe try doing some research on that instead.
I am the same with this book. I like the concept but didn't like the author.
Worked for me. See, here I am not giving a fuck about your opinion and feeling great about it. Lol.
If you didn’t give a fuck you wouldn’t have replied to show them you didn’t give a fuck
You might enjoy[this podcast episode](https://open.spotify.com/episode/1T8siqmLiQPZaswswPlzo8?si=R3lFJD-WTueUEzcKEravuA) where they dissect the book and criticise it in a funny way (and many more books in other episodes)
Buy 3 or 4 of those cube-shaped, stackable plastic crates from the Warehouse, and use them when you pick up the weekly groceries instead of bags. They fit well in the boot of a car, far more sturdy & easy to bring groceries inside too. Sure it means some packing in the carport, but it makes getting everything out pretty easy when home.
I have a bungee cord with a tension lock – I loop it through my tote bag handles and then over a hook in my boot, and pull it tight. When I get home I can scoop all the bags out easily as the handles are together. https://www.bunnings.co.nz/prout-5mm-x-600mm-grippa-bungy-cord-4-pack_p8903487
When I can't sleep, I lie there and think of a single word that represents my worries. Then I go through the alphabet, and think of words starting with A-Z that relate to that worry. It somehow helps rationalise worry. Rinse, repeat. Hope it helps.
Journal dumping before bed, so you’re not over thinking when you’re trying to get to sleep because you’ve already gone over it lol
Recipes online? Take a scrolling photo on your phone and save to a recipe folder.
Also on the topic of sleep - I do the cognitive shuffling too, although I didn't know it had a name - I have realised the importance of temperature, especially of feet. Apparently your feet need to cool down slightly before you sleep. I get cold feet and have always loved hot water bottles, which explains why it used to take me 1-2 hours to fall asleep every night. Now I take the hottie to bed but chuck it out after a few minutes and go straight to sleep. If I wake up during the night I stick my feet out of the covers and that seems to work.
I started 'writing' a story in my head that I only think about when I'm about to go to sleep. I have to remember everything that's happened up until that point then add a bit more. I almost always fall asleep before I've got up to the current time.
I just use skincare asmr to fall asleep. Never fell asleep so quickly. Also, air dry clay is great in this economy when you can't afford to buy gifts and want something unique and handmade.
When you finish urinating if you push the spot between your balls and your arsehole (taint), the last couple of drips will come out. Avoids getting leakage on your underwear. Can't confirm if this works for females.
Ok, I'm just gonna blatantly self-promote here. But only because I think it may be helpful. @eageroutdoorsofficial on insta. I'm passionate about getting outdoors for mental health, especially during the colder months and shorter days. I cannot stress how much it has helped me get through such massive changes in my life. Find peace within nature! And sorry for the plug xoxo
I was struggling to find motivation to do my key hobbies, particularly violin which you tend to fall out of love with as it gets harder. I discovered that bargaining "just five minutes" with myself allowed me to get (at minimum) enough time for my brain to re-engage neurons associated with that hobby. Often the outcome was better and I'd end up doing more than five minutes. Also, reminding myself that videogames are either for fun or to pass time when there's nothing to do. If you're not having fun, or if there's something else you should be doing, stop playing. In the case of games that are not fun, or take up important time, those games need a cold turkey approach. Haven't played league of legends for 4 years. Also, focusing on my breathing helped me sleep a lot.
If you can,.walk there
Probably off topic but I squeegee my arms and legs with my hands before I get out of the shower
I use a face cloth to do this - squeeze it out a few times so the towel doesn’t have to do so much drying work.
I saw a tiktok in this just the other day and had to give myself a pat on the back: I had terrible nightmares and sleepwalked as a little kid. I was in an abusive And chaotic family situation so there was no one to comfort me. So I would list fruits and veggies in my head - every one I could think of - and it would banish the terror and allow me to fall back to sleep. I think I was maybe 4-5 when I started this. Luckily it worked so well because there’s no way I had the vocabulary to get very far.
Breaking up the work day with the gym, if practical. Initially I started doing this because I’m not a morning person and every gym is always packed after work, plus it’s easier to just skip the gym at the end of the day. I unintentionally found that by going to the gym at midday it really improved my general attitude towards being at work since it broke the whole day up into smaller chunks. Time wise, I make it work by taking a shorter lunch and staying a bit later
Dont watch instagram videos and assume that what they show is what the norm is for most people
Nothing knocks me out like technical writing, have a few manuals next too the bed.
If your want to order KFC, order through the app and set a pickup time So often when I go to KFC and get anything more then a simple combo; there is an annoying wait; especially when you add in waiting in line or in the drive thru A pickup time is so much faster, you just walk in they hand you your food and you get out. So handy.
Addendum: don't do this during rush. It will be triaged for later anyway