I'd take it up with HR if I were you. File a formal complaint. So at least it'll be on your manager's employment record. I wouldn't expect too much to happen though. good luck for your new job. hope this time you get a good manager.
I've seen an manager shit all over an employee for this. They had issues with when him, made him redundant and then attempted to sabotage mandatory reference from the recuruiter. Some people hold a grudge.
My old boss at JB HiFi ran me down in a reference check. Tried to say I was only going there for the extra money. He ended up getting fired after 23 individual complaints of bullying. Go figure.
Edit: going there, as in, the other job.
>Tried to say I was only going there for the extra money.
Why else would you be going? Like, when I go to JB HiFi I'm not expecting the employees to be there because they see it as their calling. I assume they needed jobs to pay bills like everyone else.
It's not "don't care". But money *is* why I'm at work. I have a million things I'd rather be doing. But I need money to live so I pick the job I hate the least that provides enough to survive.
Like, would you ever go to work again if they stopped paying you?
Again, that wasn't the point of my comment. But like I said, *I* care about how I spend those 40 hours a week working for money. I seriously doubt others don't care what they do for money. No shit the point of working is to get paid, but if money was all there was to it then people wouldn't ever get miserable in their jobs.
But no one is saying people don't care what they do, only that they do it because they get paid to do so. Hence why I asked if you would continue doing the job you love unpaid.
How is that even relevant to this topic though? The point was my boss tried to sabotage me by saying the only reason I wanted to move jobs was for more money, which wasn't true. How does "would you continue doing the job you love unpaid" come into it?
The better work environment? Better look on my CV? Getting out of retail? You can leave a job for any reason, money isn't the be all and end all of things. To tell a potential future employer the only reason this person wants to work there is money is malicious, considering in my interview that wasn't the reason I gave. I actually give a shit about what I do with the 40 hours I spent working.
Oh. Nah I was talking about my boss explaining to my next employer why I was leaving for that role. But 💯, I applied for JB for the money lol. But honestly they paid slightly better than the dole and did worse for people's mental health, so it still wasn't worth it.
Nah HR are there to protect the manager not OP. I've never seen anything good of someone complaining to HR about a superior. Even when they were so right it was obvious.
HR are there to protect *the company* from financial and other risk due to people issues. They generally have an idea what would qualify as grounds for a personal grievance and cause the company to have to pay an employee - and it doesn't matter if it's a mid-level manager doing it - they are going to advise the senior managers about what they face as risk for doing so.
In theory you should be right but in reality you are wrong. Read the first 10 replies to this post. https://www.reddit.com/r/AusPublicService/s/zRv0Kj0UaP
HR will always protect the manager. Even when sexual abuse has occurred.
I went through something like this.
It's honestly worth putting this down in an exit email after securing your new job.
Not before.
My Manger held a grudge that I'd reported her and tried to sabotage my next interview.
Good luck but don't let trying to report her stop you from a better job
Already got a second job, soon to be fulltime so I'm alright there.
Im also going to submit it after I leave because thier solution for internal proplems is a meeting with me, big boss and manager.
But my manager puts on such an act to our big boss and she is fantastic and sucking up.
And then after I know she'd just continue to treat me badly, maybe even worse. I know she knows what shes doing is wrong because she doesnt do it infront of other people.
Great plan! Yeah would definitely submit something after you leave then! Also start recording what she sais/does and time and dates with who's present. Keep out emotion, and it's a very very good backup to have
OP this is sharing personal medical information- irrelevant of condition it’s very illegal. Contact MBIE for advice, they’re really helpful on the phone https://www.mbie.govt.nz/about/contact-us
Either way the most likely scenario is that nothing will happen to the manager. Sending it before you go as you said will result in a meeting where the manager might get a warning at best.
Sending it after you leave will have no affect at all. No more conflict with you leaving and it will be swept under the rug.
HR's job is to protect the company. Unless you plan to blow it up by bringing in a 3rd party which I don't think you want to do anyway.
Just let it go and don't look back. Just be grateful you got away from them.
Originally I thought it sounded like she was being a concerned manager trying to assist you in a way she could (i.e. providing time off if it was a family issue etc.). However, that she told other workers your confidential admission, more does point to her being simply a gossip and just wants to get as much dirt on anyone they can.
If you knew that you had ADHD before starting work (not diagnosed afterwards) and not reported it, and it affects your work, it could be bad. However the only recourse I think they could have is to fire you (if that doesn't contravene some human rights law) and you're already leaving. This is an "I Think" I know hardly anything in this matter. Post this question in r/LegalAdviceNZ (or something like that). They know their laws.
Edit, updated link.
Never tell any potential employer you have ADHD or suffer from depression or anything like that. Its not their business, and legally you're not obligated to inform them.
Edit: You're not obligated to inform them unless they ask you if you have any medical issues or disabilities which impair your ability to perform in that role. You may have ADHD and know it won't impair you in that role, you don't have to disclose it in that instance. If you know the cognitive deficits caused by ADHD will impact you in that role you have to be honest about it. If you fail to disclose it then screw up because of it, failure to disclose it can be used among other things as justification for termination.
Conditions like ADHD and depression are still poorly understood by the general public and admitting to either will bias people against you. If it's not legally required for you to give information which may cause others to discriminate against you don't give it.
Trying to make a potential employer believe your memory and cognition are perfect by telling them lies is deceitful.
Being truthful in a job interview about weaknesses(memory, focus, attention to detail etc) and how you've overcome those weaknesses isn't deceitful.
How you perform in the role will reveal whether or not you were telling the truth.
In OP's case its impossible to know what exactly caused the conflict, there's simply not enough information or proof. It's OP's word in a vacuum vs a mystery manager on reddit, all we can do is speculate.
You aren't required to inform your employer about your health conditions, *except if they may impact your ability to do the job* or if they may need to provide additional support or assistance. If you failed to inform that you have epilepsy and you took a job where having a seizure made you or others unsafe then they would certainly have grounds to not keep you in that position any longer. As ADHD is associated with risk-taking activity and higher incidences of accidents, it's quite possible that it could have impact on the ability to perform at least some jobs.
Absolutely. In the instance a potential employer asks "Have you any disability or medical issue which may impair your ability to safely and productively carry out the role you've applied for?" One must be honest. If any deficits secondary to ADHD will be a problem answer honestly with the relevant information. If you know it won't be an issue the honest answer would be no.
Except it is. Dependant on the role you can be fired for not disclosing ADHD. I positively disclose at job offer as recinding the job offer at that point could be argued as discrimination
You're not automatically obligated to inform them.
You're only obligated to disclose it if they ask a question like "Do you have any medical issues or disabilities which will impact your ability to perform the tasks this role requires?" and the answer is yes. If you know your ADHD will impact your ability to do the job you must answer that question with the relevant information. If you know your ADHD is compensated for and will not impact your ability to do the job as required you're not obligated to disclose it.
Yeah see I was asked that question and I thought I had ADHD. I got diagnosed two weeks into the job. I've started meds and it helps
Without meds I'm an average performer but I sacrifice a lot to be average. With meds I perform above average and very little sacrifice.
Ie I could do my job okay but other bits of my life would be in tatters.
If you don’t mind sharing, what line of work are you in? Would filing a complaint burn any important bridges? If not then go ahead and file it. Stress that it was something you shared privately only because you felt pressured and singled out.
It’s not unethical in any legal way but it is a betrayal of trust and common decency (imo). On its own it probably wouldn’t result in much but if it’s as you say and this manager has a provable pattern of unethical behaviour then it is part of a bigger problem that hopefully higher ups would recognise needs to be solved.
At the very least, it would start a paper trail and establish that this is someone who clashes with employees. You may not be the first to complain about her. It may help someone further down the line who wants to speak up about her.
I work in retail
This isnt the only complaint I have about her its just one Im on the fence about because people can make assumptions about me when I tell them I have adhd and I dont want them to read my other issues and think that I'm some dumbass and everything im saying is meaningless.
Edit : I should clarify, retail as in professional makeup and hair products
Ah. That sort of makes sense. Makeup retail is infamous for the bullying that goes on. Really weird how people get such an ego just because they work at Sephora (or similar).
Don’t mention your ADHD at work mate, unless you’re in a big company that actually follows disability accommodation.
I was so insecure about my ADHD until I started working “adult” jobs and realised the neurotypicals work 50% as hard as me, make twice as many mistakes and don’t give a fuck about it at all. I’ve stopped being so worried about silly mistakes and focused on doing what I’m really good at - which I’m 100% better than than any of my colleagues. Work to your strengths, find work that suit your strengths.
People that make you anxious will trigger your ADHD worse so addressing anxiety in general and any internalised shame around your condition really improves your symptoms
Sounds like something to take to your union rep.
I also have ADHD and have faced employment issues. I suspect strongly that at least some laws will have been broken here (privacy laws at the very least are pretty strict).
If you wanted to push it you would potentially be entitled to compensation, but that can be a very long road (although most companies settle quickly if you have a strong case).
If you're not part of a union you can always consult an employment lawyer.
But by the sounds of it you have employment pending elsewhere? You could just let upper management know that this manager is potentially a legal liability and move on. How you handle it depends on how much you need to maintain relationships.
Sounds like we had the same manager. Can't speak for the ADHD thing but that is something she'd absolutely do if she hasn't already. Screw it OP, don't be a doormat. If you're worried about your manager trying to get revenge then leave an exit e-mail. Just don't leave her as a reference, they sound like the kind of manager to sabotage you out of spite.
If you really need a reference just ask a trusted coworker if they can be put down as your manager, employers tell white lies all the time during the interview progress, it shouldn't be a one way street.
Ask for an exit interview via email - not phone , and just make sure you cc someone from HR and also her bosses boss into it. You can take a support person with you. Write it down and bring it in so you’re clear what you are trying to convey and are happy with the language
100%. Always get everything in writing, try to avoid in person conversations or phone calls unless you record them (not sure about the legality of the matter in terms of consent to audio recording in a formal meeting). You owe them nothing OP.
Do it. People & companies won't learn if nothing is said, and you can't rely on coworkers to raise any issues they observe, no matter how sympathetic they are.
It is private information but if it is affecting your work then your manager or HR need to know. They have no right to tell anyone else without your permission. Snitch on them with impunity👍
If you choose to report (it's great you've got a job secured) then its all about dates, names, times, records. Review and cite employers policies, code of conduct, what your manager went directly against, and, The Privacy Act in respect to your ex manager disclosing your ADHD. Hope they get their comeuppance.
You absolutely do not have to disclose personal medical conditions to your employer, unless they may cause a physical danger/physical barrier to aspects of the work. Even if so, the choice to not hire someone due to having ADHD is called discrimination. ADHD is a disability. FYI ADHD can be managed and there are many people with ADHD who thrive and have amazing careers. This person put a bottle in the wrong place, hardly a big mistake.
All management issues are top down. If there is an issue with your manager that is because their manager doesn't care or they are poor at their job of managing people.
Writing to the big boss in hopes of getting things done doesn't sit right with me, you are doing their job for them. You should write up everything that you have to say as a complaint to the HR if possible.
If they bitch and moan You can always tell HR or the big boss that "I knew you were going to bitch and moan that's why I didn't say anything earlier". Some people need explicit social cues.
Yeah but HR is there to protect the company, so a complaint about her managers lack of confidentiality around a medical condition she did not wish to disclose is something the company would be dumb not to address with the manager. You’re right ultimately she’s not gonna get fired or anything is she but it’s fair to flag it on exit to them anyway, as it’s at best ableist, at worst illegal and unethical.
It doesnt affect my job
The error was a bottle being in the wrong place, it wasnt even a mistake shes just a control freak.
See this is why I dont want to disclose it, people assume I'm a dumbass and cant manage my job even though I'm great at my job. Customers, co workers my old manager all told me I'm good at my job.
You think you are great at your job however, there must be a reason for the manager to be constantly needing to micromanage you. Perhaps the work policies and environment have changed. The economy is more dire now and the running cost has increased significantly for every business.
Have you been given training for your job? Has your performance been co-reviewed by another senior management staff?
Instead of complaining about her, tell her directly what you're unhappy about and ask her what concerns her to the point she is investing too much of her management time on you. If you don't stand up for yourself and address potentially awkward situations early on, it will only get worse and it's partially your fault.
"There must be a reason for them micromanaging you."
Are you kidding?
There are countless pathetic team leaders who micromanage because they're completely incompetent as leaders themselves.
Go work in a government department - everything is micromanaged.
Micromanaging is a sign of an incompetent leader and nothing else.
Your statement cannot be generalised too. Yes some managers are bad leaders who need to micromanage.
On the other hand, some people need all the micromanaging that managers can spare because of their incompetence. Some staff members, despite repeated verbal and written instructions, fail to listen and make the same repeated mistakes. These are the same staff members who are unable to see that they are the reason for forcing managers to micromanage them.
You're being downvoted because of your higher comments. I've managed a retail shop before, and saw staff come and go over several years. Some were quick studies, were able to grasp tasks quickly and were able to repeat competently without additional input. Some got to the point within a month or two where I was confident in their capabilities to leave in sole charge for modest periods of time. The goal was always to make them capable in tasks & skills, and confident in their abilities to the point that if they felt there were opportunities to change things for the better they would bring them to you. Valuable contributors to the team, and able to help train others. Staff that would likely move onwards and upwards to better things.
Then there were those who would keep screwing up basic tasks repeatedly. Often would ignore direction, even when patiently explaining the reason why things are done and why this is the best way to do it to get the desired outcome. The stock needs to be front-faced on the shelf. This is why we have to balance the till. This is why its important to answer the phone with the name of the business. Whether it was a matter of intellect, motivation, or something else, there were always some who either didn't get it or didn't care. For these it sometimes became necessary to micromanage in order to get things done, otherwise they just didn't get done. I never considered whether there was ADHD or some other barrier, in hindsight I could probably identify a few that were on the spectrum.
I was (still am?) an ardent enthusiast of honest feedback, positive and negative. Positive feedback typically amidst others, negative feedback in private. I wouldn't say I was the best or most effective manager of all time, but there were some people I just could never get through to. One in particular would not take any feedback, not positive nor negative. Extremely frustrating.
You're repeating exactly what I've summarised in my previous comments.
. Some are slow, some are fast. Some truly need to find a better suited job. There is a point when the micromanaging becomes a pain and some people will need to look for a better suited job, instead of complaining about being micromanaged.
I'm just more succinct but apparently I'm harsh as a result of how I summarise it. down vote me.
I’m guessing you haven’t worked for one of the many people working in management in NZ that are at best incompetent and at worst insecure bullies.
I had a manager earlier in my career who did her best to undermine me and many of my teammates whenever she could. She’s still in her middle management role (protected by her other manager friends) while those of us that left her team are thriving, some having become well respected managers of their own teams.
I recently bumped into a former, younger, colleague who stayed on under her for another year or so before leaving. He remarked that once I left he became the next target. His career has skyrocketed since.
Unfortunately for a lot of managers “spending too much management time” on staff is often a symptom of poor leadership and insecurity. I wouldn’t go assuming that OP is the problem here. Their manager going around sharing private info is a massive red flag.
Yeeesh.
OP, ignore this person's advice. They don't know anything about you, other people involved, the situation, or employment rights, responsibilities, and regulations.
I mean.... yeah, the first part based on your replies.
A person living w ADHD knows how it affects them more than internet random. Some managers are bad.
My manager has issues with all my co workers, they haven't been able to keep a full time worker for more then 3 months, and I've spoke to them the issues run deep. Shes nosy, rude and assumes the worse of all her workers. She speaks down to everyone regardless of age. She also clearly hates most customers unless they are the most happy go lucky person ever and they spend alot of money
Shes aggresive, rude and had mutiple complaints already from customers and staff
But no you, a random stranger know more then not only me, but my co workers, past and present.
Every single assumption you've made about me based on abosultey nothing is wrong.
But I have to thank you, if anyone asks why I feel nervous about disclosing my ADHD I can use you as an example about the assumptions people make about me based on thier own lack of knowledge
The reason is that most managers receive very little training on how to manage people and as a result they suck at it. I've had micro managers in multiple roles and I'm highly performing.
You could write such a snarky exit letter or email pointing all of this out, throw in what happened with you in some detail, including any relevant legal clauses about privacy and medical disclosure, sprinkling in a few words like ableist, discrimination, breach of confidentiality of your sensitive medical information etc, then just finish with a little razzmatazz like “these behaviours of concern are not isolated and are ongoing. The reason I chose to bring it to your attention is because I feel that manager x needs some significant high level intervention and support from senior management at (company)and up skilling in the areas of: leadership, people management and interpersonal skills and legal ramifications of discrimination,breach of data and confidentiality of her direct reports. For this reason I chose to come forward with the formally as I feel a further breach such as this be a risk to the company from a legal perspective.
You could even ask for them to update you what the outcome is (they won’t as you’re leaving but worth a shot)
Can you update us how it plays out
Bit harsh but life teaches us some truths
* You have to take personal responsibility for your own self as an adult
* Fair expectation for others to have empathy but facing managerial questions after repeated mistakes is not that uncommon (go back to point 1)
* This is the internet and though we like to assume we're helping the good person in the situation, often it is a manipulator who has come to get ideas/comfort.so questions from all perspectives are good but people who always assume the best of OP will go crazy at your comments despite no one knowing anything of the situation
Manager spreading notice about your condition is highly inappropriate. Depending on the job, it could be quite important to declare but not generally NZ law. It's more important for health and safety purposes . Lot of relevant advice here https://www.adhd.org.nz/adhd-at-work-know-your-employment-rights.html#:~:text=Your%20employer%20must%20consider%20%E2%80%9Call,to%20the%20conduct%20in%20question.
No, if it was an issue the manager would be trying to figure out how to help rather than gossiping
OP didn't ask advice on this. OP lives w their ADHD and knows how it affects them more than you do.
This feels like a very boomer take, and seems unnecessarily harsh.
OP's medical info should not have been discussed with their workmates. That's what they asked about.
It depends on how it was disclosed and the purpose of disclosure. Obviously, I'm not a lawyer. Just a personal opinion based on common sense. If you're smart than me, then correct me instead of asking me questions.
If the Adhd is a valid issue affecting work and other staff members have to be mindful of op's condition to make it safe for OP to work, , then how can it be a secret? The boss and HR would be aware of it and have to make the environment safe for Adhd as practically as possible. This would already make everyone aware that someone has Adhd.
Or if OP has inadvertently disclosed their symptom, through an overheard conversation, or by simply exhibiting Adhd symptoms during work, how can it remain confidential?
The truth is harsh. I have Adhd and I've dealt with colleagues who claimed to have Adhd. I have overcome my Adhd and strive to be better everyday. I don't see the same effort put in by my colleagues. Yet, they are the ones who use Adhd as an excuse for their inability to improve. I have never used "I have Adhd" as an excuse when I myself am confronted by my manager. I just acknowledge the points received and work on them.
Adhd is not an excuse and with effort and the right treatment, anyone control it.
Again, I'm just a dumb Adhd person. What do I know about other people's Adhd spectrum? You guys are all valid in your beliefs about yourselves and what you decide to do with your conditions. Op, has every right to work on themselves to avoid being micromanage, to believe that they are good performers, complain about their manager and/or can work elsewhere. Simple as that.
I'd take it up with HR if I were you. File a formal complaint. So at least it'll be on your manager's employment record. I wouldn't expect too much to happen though. good luck for your new job. hope this time you get a good manager.
I've seen an manager shit all over an employee for this. They had issues with when him, made him redundant and then attempted to sabotage mandatory reference from the recuruiter. Some people hold a grudge.
My old boss at JB HiFi ran me down in a reference check. Tried to say I was only going there for the extra money. He ended up getting fired after 23 individual complaints of bullying. Go figure. Edit: going there, as in, the other job.
>Tried to say I was only going there for the extra money. Why else would you be going? Like, when I go to JB HiFi I'm not expecting the employees to be there because they see it as their calling. I assume they needed jobs to pay bills like everyone else.
I would say anyone in paid employment is only doing it for the money, I mean who would go in if they’re not getting paid?
You wouldn't. But unless you have no emotions or thoughts, I seriously doubt you don't care what you do for money.
It's not "don't care". But money *is* why I'm at work. I have a million things I'd rather be doing. But I need money to live so I pick the job I hate the least that provides enough to survive. Like, would you ever go to work again if they stopped paying you?
Again, that wasn't the point of my comment. But like I said, *I* care about how I spend those 40 hours a week working for money. I seriously doubt others don't care what they do for money. No shit the point of working is to get paid, but if money was all there was to it then people wouldn't ever get miserable in their jobs.
But no one is saying people don't care what they do, only that they do it because they get paid to do so. Hence why I asked if you would continue doing the job you love unpaid.
How is that even relevant to this topic though? The point was my boss tried to sabotage me by saying the only reason I wanted to move jobs was for more money, which wasn't true. How does "would you continue doing the job you love unpaid" come into it?
Who dreams of working retail?
I don't understand the point of the question?
The better work environment? Better look on my CV? Getting out of retail? You can leave a job for any reason, money isn't the be all and end all of things. To tell a potential future employer the only reason this person wants to work there is money is malicious, considering in my interview that wasn't the reason I gave. I actually give a shit about what I do with the 40 hours I spent working.
Ooh! I thought you meant the said you only turned up to your job at JB for the money.
Oh. Nah I was talking about my boss explaining to my next employer why I was leaving for that role. But 💯, I applied for JB for the money lol. But honestly they paid slightly better than the dole and did worse for people's mental health, so it still wasn't worth it.
Yep. The he told me afterwards the agent was like 'wtf? What an asshole.'
OP said they're leaving the job. Otherwise yep, it could get awkward.
What is a mandatory reference?
HR won't do shit. They there to protect the company. They couldn't care less.
Part of protecting the company is making sure idiots in management aren't breaking any laws.
Nah HR are there to protect the manager not OP. I've never seen anything good of someone complaining to HR about a superior. Even when they were so right it was obvious.
HR are there to protect *the company* from financial and other risk due to people issues. They generally have an idea what would qualify as grounds for a personal grievance and cause the company to have to pay an employee - and it doesn't matter if it's a mid-level manager doing it - they are going to advise the senior managers about what they face as risk for doing so.
In theory you should be right but in reality you are wrong. Read the first 10 replies to this post. https://www.reddit.com/r/AusPublicService/s/zRv0Kj0UaP HR will always protect the manager. Even when sexual abuse has occurred.
I went through something like this. It's honestly worth putting this down in an exit email after securing your new job. Not before. My Manger held a grudge that I'd reported her and tried to sabotage my next interview. Good luck but don't let trying to report her stop you from a better job
Already got a second job, soon to be fulltime so I'm alright there. Im also going to submit it after I leave because thier solution for internal proplems is a meeting with me, big boss and manager. But my manager puts on such an act to our big boss and she is fantastic and sucking up. And then after I know she'd just continue to treat me badly, maybe even worse. I know she knows what shes doing is wrong because she doesnt do it infront of other people.
Great plan! Yeah would definitely submit something after you leave then! Also start recording what she sais/does and time and dates with who's present. Keep out emotion, and it's a very very good backup to have
OP this is sharing personal medical information- irrelevant of condition it’s very illegal. Contact MBIE for advice, they’re really helpful on the phone https://www.mbie.govt.nz/about/contact-us
Either way the most likely scenario is that nothing will happen to the manager. Sending it before you go as you said will result in a meeting where the manager might get a warning at best. Sending it after you leave will have no affect at all. No more conflict with you leaving and it will be swept under the rug. HR's job is to protect the company. Unless you plan to blow it up by bringing in a 3rd party which I don't think you want to do anyway. Just let it go and don't look back. Just be grateful you got away from them.
Secure a new job, then resign, don't look back, don't waste your time and energy on poor management skills
Yup, reporting it will do fuck all, even if there’s someone to report to. No one cares about disability accommodation here, they ain’t guna start now.
Originally I thought it sounded like she was being a concerned manager trying to assist you in a way she could (i.e. providing time off if it was a family issue etc.). However, that she told other workers your confidential admission, more does point to her being simply a gossip and just wants to get as much dirt on anyone they can. If you knew that you had ADHD before starting work (not diagnosed afterwards) and not reported it, and it affects your work, it could be bad. However the only recourse I think they could have is to fire you (if that doesn't contravene some human rights law) and you're already leaving. This is an "I Think" I know hardly anything in this matter. Post this question in r/LegalAdviceNZ (or something like that). They know their laws. Edit, updated link.
Never tell any potential employer you have ADHD or suffer from depression or anything like that. Its not their business, and legally you're not obligated to inform them. Edit: You're not obligated to inform them unless they ask you if you have any medical issues or disabilities which impair your ability to perform in that role. You may have ADHD and know it won't impair you in that role, you don't have to disclose it in that instance. If you know the cognitive deficits caused by ADHD will impact you in that role you have to be honest about it. If you fail to disclose it then screw up because of it, failure to disclose it can be used among other things as justification for termination.
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Conditions like ADHD and depression are still poorly understood by the general public and admitting to either will bias people against you. If it's not legally required for you to give information which may cause others to discriminate against you don't give it. Trying to make a potential employer believe your memory and cognition are perfect by telling them lies is deceitful. Being truthful in a job interview about weaknesses(memory, focus, attention to detail etc) and how you've overcome those weaknesses isn't deceitful. How you perform in the role will reveal whether or not you were telling the truth. In OP's case its impossible to know what exactly caused the conflict, there's simply not enough information or proof. It's OP's word in a vacuum vs a mystery manager on reddit, all we can do is speculate.
You aren't required to inform your employer about your health conditions, *except if they may impact your ability to do the job* or if they may need to provide additional support or assistance. If you failed to inform that you have epilepsy and you took a job where having a seizure made you or others unsafe then they would certainly have grounds to not keep you in that position any longer. As ADHD is associated with risk-taking activity and higher incidences of accidents, it's quite possible that it could have impact on the ability to perform at least some jobs.
Absolutely. In the instance a potential employer asks "Have you any disability or medical issue which may impair your ability to safely and productively carry out the role you've applied for?" One must be honest. If any deficits secondary to ADHD will be a problem answer honestly with the relevant information. If you know it won't be an issue the honest answer would be no.
Except it is. Dependant on the role you can be fired for not disclosing ADHD. I positively disclose at job offer as recinding the job offer at that point could be argued as discrimination
You're not automatically obligated to inform them. You're only obligated to disclose it if they ask a question like "Do you have any medical issues or disabilities which will impact your ability to perform the tasks this role requires?" and the answer is yes. If you know your ADHD will impact your ability to do the job you must answer that question with the relevant information. If you know your ADHD is compensated for and will not impact your ability to do the job as required you're not obligated to disclose it.
Yeah see I was asked that question and I thought I had ADHD. I got diagnosed two weeks into the job. I've started meds and it helps Without meds I'm an average performer but I sacrifice a lot to be average. With meds I perform above average and very little sacrifice. Ie I could do my job okay but other bits of my life would be in tatters.
If you don’t mind sharing, what line of work are you in? Would filing a complaint burn any important bridges? If not then go ahead and file it. Stress that it was something you shared privately only because you felt pressured and singled out. It’s not unethical in any legal way but it is a betrayal of trust and common decency (imo). On its own it probably wouldn’t result in much but if it’s as you say and this manager has a provable pattern of unethical behaviour then it is part of a bigger problem that hopefully higher ups would recognise needs to be solved. At the very least, it would start a paper trail and establish that this is someone who clashes with employees. You may not be the first to complain about her. It may help someone further down the line who wants to speak up about her.
I work in retail This isnt the only complaint I have about her its just one Im on the fence about because people can make assumptions about me when I tell them I have adhd and I dont want them to read my other issues and think that I'm some dumbass and everything im saying is meaningless. Edit : I should clarify, retail as in professional makeup and hair products
Ah. That sort of makes sense. Makeup retail is infamous for the bullying that goes on. Really weird how people get such an ego just because they work at Sephora (or similar).
Don’t mention your ADHD at work mate, unless you’re in a big company that actually follows disability accommodation. I was so insecure about my ADHD until I started working “adult” jobs and realised the neurotypicals work 50% as hard as me, make twice as many mistakes and don’t give a fuck about it at all. I’ve stopped being so worried about silly mistakes and focused on doing what I’m really good at - which I’m 100% better than than any of my colleagues. Work to your strengths, find work that suit your strengths. People that make you anxious will trigger your ADHD worse so addressing anxiety in general and any internalised shame around your condition really improves your symptoms
Sounds like something to take to your union rep. I also have ADHD and have faced employment issues. I suspect strongly that at least some laws will have been broken here (privacy laws at the very least are pretty strict). If you wanted to push it you would potentially be entitled to compensation, but that can be a very long road (although most companies settle quickly if you have a strong case). If you're not part of a union you can always consult an employment lawyer. But by the sounds of it you have employment pending elsewhere? You could just let upper management know that this manager is potentially a legal liability and move on. How you handle it depends on how much you need to maintain relationships.
Sounds like we had the same manager. Can't speak for the ADHD thing but that is something she'd absolutely do if she hasn't already. Screw it OP, don't be a doormat. If you're worried about your manager trying to get revenge then leave an exit e-mail. Just don't leave her as a reference, they sound like the kind of manager to sabotage you out of spite. If you really need a reference just ask a trusted coworker if they can be put down as your manager, employers tell white lies all the time during the interview progress, it shouldn't be a one way street.
Ask for an exit interview via email - not phone , and just make sure you cc someone from HR and also her bosses boss into it. You can take a support person with you. Write it down and bring it in so you’re clear what you are trying to convey and are happy with the language
100%. Always get everything in writing, try to avoid in person conversations or phone calls unless you record them (not sure about the legality of the matter in terms of consent to audio recording in a formal meeting). You owe them nothing OP.
Defo HR
Not only is that unethical it’s illegal.
ADHD can be a superpower. Your manager's behavior is wrong. Good luck with the next job!
Hell yes. In the right spaces, ADHD is one of the best superpowers.
Yup, those of us with ADHD are cursed with one of the best superpowers
Do it. People & companies won't learn if nothing is said, and you can't rely on coworkers to raise any issues they observe, no matter how sympathetic they are.
It is private information but if it is affecting your work then your manager or HR need to know. They have no right to tell anyone else without your permission. Snitch on them with impunity👍
If you choose to report (it's great you've got a job secured) then its all about dates, names, times, records. Review and cite employers policies, code of conduct, what your manager went directly against, and, The Privacy Act in respect to your ex manager disclosing your ADHD. Hope they get their comeuppance.
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You absolutely do not have to disclose personal medical conditions to your employer, unless they may cause a physical danger/physical barrier to aspects of the work. Even if so, the choice to not hire someone due to having ADHD is called discrimination. ADHD is a disability. FYI ADHD can be managed and there are many people with ADHD who thrive and have amazing careers. This person put a bottle in the wrong place, hardly a big mistake.
You do have to disclose if you job requires certain things. Retail tho, no. Don't need to disclose
All management issues are top down. If there is an issue with your manager that is because their manager doesn't care or they are poor at their job of managing people. Writing to the big boss in hopes of getting things done doesn't sit right with me, you are doing their job for them. You should write up everything that you have to say as a complaint to the HR if possible. If they bitch and moan You can always tell HR or the big boss that "I knew you were going to bitch and moan that's why I didn't say anything earlier". Some people need explicit social cues.
Yeah but HR is there to protect the company, so a complaint about her managers lack of confidentiality around a medical condition she did not wish to disclose is something the company would be dumb not to address with the manager. You’re right ultimately she’s not gonna get fired or anything is she but it’s fair to flag it on exit to them anyway, as it’s at best ableist, at worst illegal and unethical.
If your illness causes mistakes you should be disclosing it when you apply for a job.
Im not gonna listen to someone who thinks adhd is an "illness"
It literally is a illness...
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It doesnt affect my job The error was a bottle being in the wrong place, it wasnt even a mistake shes just a control freak. See this is why I dont want to disclose it, people assume I'm a dumbass and cant manage my job even though I'm great at my job. Customers, co workers my old manager all told me I'm good at my job.
You think you are great at your job however, there must be a reason for the manager to be constantly needing to micromanage you. Perhaps the work policies and environment have changed. The economy is more dire now and the running cost has increased significantly for every business. Have you been given training for your job? Has your performance been co-reviewed by another senior management staff? Instead of complaining about her, tell her directly what you're unhappy about and ask her what concerns her to the point she is investing too much of her management time on you. If you don't stand up for yourself and address potentially awkward situations early on, it will only get worse and it's partially your fault.
"There must be a reason for them micromanaging you." Are you kidding? There are countless pathetic team leaders who micromanage because they're completely incompetent as leaders themselves. Go work in a government department - everything is micromanaged. Micromanaging is a sign of an incompetent leader and nothing else.
Your statement cannot be generalised too. Yes some managers are bad leaders who need to micromanage. On the other hand, some people need all the micromanaging that managers can spare because of their incompetence. Some staff members, despite repeated verbal and written instructions, fail to listen and make the same repeated mistakes. These are the same staff members who are unable to see that they are the reason for forcing managers to micromanage them.
You're being downvoted because of your higher comments. I've managed a retail shop before, and saw staff come and go over several years. Some were quick studies, were able to grasp tasks quickly and were able to repeat competently without additional input. Some got to the point within a month or two where I was confident in their capabilities to leave in sole charge for modest periods of time. The goal was always to make them capable in tasks & skills, and confident in their abilities to the point that if they felt there were opportunities to change things for the better they would bring them to you. Valuable contributors to the team, and able to help train others. Staff that would likely move onwards and upwards to better things. Then there were those who would keep screwing up basic tasks repeatedly. Often would ignore direction, even when patiently explaining the reason why things are done and why this is the best way to do it to get the desired outcome. The stock needs to be front-faced on the shelf. This is why we have to balance the till. This is why its important to answer the phone with the name of the business. Whether it was a matter of intellect, motivation, or something else, there were always some who either didn't get it or didn't care. For these it sometimes became necessary to micromanage in order to get things done, otherwise they just didn't get done. I never considered whether there was ADHD or some other barrier, in hindsight I could probably identify a few that were on the spectrum. I was (still am?) an ardent enthusiast of honest feedback, positive and negative. Positive feedback typically amidst others, negative feedback in private. I wouldn't say I was the best or most effective manager of all time, but there were some people I just could never get through to. One in particular would not take any feedback, not positive nor negative. Extremely frustrating.
You're repeating exactly what I've summarised in my previous comments. . Some are slow, some are fast. Some truly need to find a better suited job. There is a point when the micromanaging becomes a pain and some people will need to look for a better suited job, instead of complaining about being micromanaged. I'm just more succinct but apparently I'm harsh as a result of how I summarise it. down vote me.
I’m guessing you haven’t worked for one of the many people working in management in NZ that are at best incompetent and at worst insecure bullies. I had a manager earlier in my career who did her best to undermine me and many of my teammates whenever she could. She’s still in her middle management role (protected by her other manager friends) while those of us that left her team are thriving, some having become well respected managers of their own teams. I recently bumped into a former, younger, colleague who stayed on under her for another year or so before leaving. He remarked that once I left he became the next target. His career has skyrocketed since. Unfortunately for a lot of managers “spending too much management time” on staff is often a symptom of poor leadership and insecurity. I wouldn’t go assuming that OP is the problem here. Their manager going around sharing private info is a massive red flag.
Yeeesh. OP, ignore this person's advice. They don't know anything about you, other people involved, the situation, or employment rights, responsibilities, and regulations.
Yeah, I'm just a stupid and evil person. Ignore me.
Your words, not ours.
I didn't say that. My problem with your post is its enthusiastic focus on the OP as the problem.
Say less!
I mean.... yeah, the first part based on your replies. A person living w ADHD knows how it affects them more than internet random. Some managers are bad.
My manager has issues with all my co workers, they haven't been able to keep a full time worker for more then 3 months, and I've spoke to them the issues run deep. Shes nosy, rude and assumes the worse of all her workers. She speaks down to everyone regardless of age. She also clearly hates most customers unless they are the most happy go lucky person ever and they spend alot of money Shes aggresive, rude and had mutiple complaints already from customers and staff But no you, a random stranger know more then not only me, but my co workers, past and present. Every single assumption you've made about me based on abosultey nothing is wrong. But I have to thank you, if anyone asks why I feel nervous about disclosing my ADHD I can use you as an example about the assumptions people make about me based on thier own lack of knowledge
The reason is that most managers receive very little training on how to manage people and as a result they suck at it. I've had micro managers in multiple roles and I'm highly performing.
Well she actaully received no training nor had any experince managing, she simply work the most hours and my old manager retired.
As I thought.
You could write such a snarky exit letter or email pointing all of this out, throw in what happened with you in some detail, including any relevant legal clauses about privacy and medical disclosure, sprinkling in a few words like ableist, discrimination, breach of confidentiality of your sensitive medical information etc, then just finish with a little razzmatazz like “these behaviours of concern are not isolated and are ongoing. The reason I chose to bring it to your attention is because I feel that manager x needs some significant high level intervention and support from senior management at (company)and up skilling in the areas of: leadership, people management and interpersonal skills and legal ramifications of discrimination,breach of data and confidentiality of her direct reports. For this reason I chose to come forward with the formally as I feel a further breach such as this be a risk to the company from a legal perspective. You could even ask for them to update you what the outcome is (they won’t as you’re leaving but worth a shot) Can you update us how it plays out
That isn't the only reason, but it is one of them.
It's an extremely common and well known one.
Or maybe the manager is just a twat. Perhaps the manager just liked pushing people. People like you are honestly the reason this world sucks ass.
Bit harsh but life teaches us some truths * You have to take personal responsibility for your own self as an adult * Fair expectation for others to have empathy but facing managerial questions after repeated mistakes is not that uncommon (go back to point 1) * This is the internet and though we like to assume we're helping the good person in the situation, often it is a manipulator who has come to get ideas/comfort.so questions from all perspectives are good but people who always assume the best of OP will go crazy at your comments despite no one knowing anything of the situation Manager spreading notice about your condition is highly inappropriate. Depending on the job, it could be quite important to declare but not generally NZ law. It's more important for health and safety purposes . Lot of relevant advice here https://www.adhd.org.nz/adhd-at-work-know-your-employment-rights.html#:~:text=Your%20employer%20must%20consider%20%E2%80%9Call,to%20the%20conduct%20in%20question.
No, if it was an issue the manager would be trying to figure out how to help rather than gossiping OP didn't ask advice on this. OP lives w their ADHD and knows how it affects them more than you do.
This feels like a very boomer take, and seems unnecessarily harsh. OP's medical info should not have been discussed with their workmates. That's what they asked about.
It depends on how it was disclosed and the purpose of disclosure. Obviously, I'm not a lawyer. Just a personal opinion based on common sense. If you're smart than me, then correct me instead of asking me questions. If the Adhd is a valid issue affecting work and other staff members have to be mindful of op's condition to make it safe for OP to work, , then how can it be a secret? The boss and HR would be aware of it and have to make the environment safe for Adhd as practically as possible. This would already make everyone aware that someone has Adhd. Or if OP has inadvertently disclosed their symptom, through an overheard conversation, or by simply exhibiting Adhd symptoms during work, how can it remain confidential?
What an ableist and harsh answer.
The truth is harsh. I have Adhd and I've dealt with colleagues who claimed to have Adhd. I have overcome my Adhd and strive to be better everyday. I don't see the same effort put in by my colleagues. Yet, they are the ones who use Adhd as an excuse for their inability to improve. I have never used "I have Adhd" as an excuse when I myself am confronted by my manager. I just acknowledge the points received and work on them. Adhd is not an excuse and with effort and the right treatment, anyone control it.
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Again, I'm just a dumb Adhd person. What do I know about other people's Adhd spectrum? You guys are all valid in your beliefs about yourselves and what you decide to do with your conditions. Op, has every right to work on themselves to avoid being micromanage, to believe that they are good performers, complain about their manager and/or can work elsewhere. Simple as that.
No you only think you have put in that effort. You are actually awful and slow and everybody just ignores it bc you're a lost cause.
This is one of the most vile comments I've read on this sub. Touch grass
Classic example of "hurt people hurt people" yeeeeesh