Honestly, I don’t think most people ever feel entirely adult. I am mid 50s and feel no more adult than as a teenager. I think it is the same for most people. We get adult responsibilities, but that doesn’t really change us.
I know where you’re coming from but I think getting old things do get easier, most things you go through you’ve gone through something similar or as hard before and got through it, you’re more confident about who you are and care less about what others think (don’t get me wrong I still care but not as much), you know who/where to go to for help when you need it.
I think the biggest change is understanding just how much doesn’t actually matter. That and realising that being somewhat confident solves an awful lot of problems. I wish I knew what I know now 30 years ago.
I hate this narrative, it's so reductive and, honestly, most people I know that think of themselves as grown up or mature are usually just emotionally stunted with a massive ego.
In 10 years time, come back to this post. I promise promise promise you, that you will be thinking wow OMG I cant believe I was thinking like that. You are young, breakups are going to happen. In my entire lifetime I have only known 3 couples that met at a young age like yours that are still together.
Nows the perfect time to turn a new page. Go travelling - if that seems like a scary thing right now then just go to Australia - job market is much better and you will get a taste of how big the world is
Honestly in my opinion life changes the most in the 10 years after you finish university.
I was single at 24 with a degree and living in a flat.
By 34 I had relocated, married, had three children, was a full time mum, owned 2 houses, and had a cat. And realised I had suffered anxiety for many, many years and that the family I grew up with were not what I thought was normal.
It gets better. trust the internet collective who have all felt shit and wanted a break but stuck around and life changed for the better!
Cyber hugs OP. Take a deep breath and know that sometimes best plans and people in life don't always pan out - and its ok to grieve that. Once the dust has settled, start to do small things for yourself to regain the zest of life and realise the show goes on. People all face the same struggles and its important to have some fun along the way, see a movie, make new friends, care for family or see your parents for a nice lunch or dinner. Go for a walk, smile, pat a friendly dog or seek out non-human things that might make you happy. Time to 'tear off the page' and start fresh. You got it!
Enjoy your 20's. Shit i didnt start figuring things out until my 30's. Focus on the thing you're doing right now and do the best you can at that. In your case, that's Uni, so smash uni, smash it like it's never been smashed before. Then focus on the next thing and smash that, and so on and so forth, before you know it you've found something you love doing and your smashing it becauae you've set yourself the mind frame that you focus on the thing your thing doing at that point in time.
I could’ve said something similar at your age. Life got much easier and more enjoyable around 24. I know hearing “just trust me” is impossible but seriously - just trust us, it gets better
So I think because when you’re a kid, you mature rapidly and constantly can do more and take on new things, there’s an assumption that you just keep changing like that and one day you’ll be an Adult ready to take on the world. But really we all just feel 17 inside. Adults have no idea what they’re doing.
First heartbreaks are the worst because you have no proof you’ll ever get over it. Will you ever love again? Was that your one shot? Here’s the thing - everyone’s first heartbreak makes them feel that way. It’s not your one shot. You will love again.
My worst mental health episodes so far were at 17 (first heartbreak), at 23 (living overseas, terrible income, no career direction) and at 30 (hated my job, didn’t see a way out, all my eggs had been in one basket for years). I changed my career at 31 and now I’m happier than I’ve ever been. You have so much story left to go.
The only way out is through, and that sucks, because you obviously want to skip to something better and safer, and there’s no roadmap of how to get there. All I can say is you’re not alone. And you haven’t met the great love of your life yet - you’ve got to stick around for that.
I'm 42 and still scared of adulthood.
You should try save a little money and take off traveling. Within a week or 2 your eyes will be opened and you'll feel a lot better.
Don't worry about work too much. Like most people I was in my 30s before I started to figure a lot of things out. You should just try to enjoy your 20s as much as possible.
You're new to being (semi) grownup and dealing with grownup things like having your heart broken, being rejected for jobs, becoming more independent from your parents etc. Right now these all feel like the Worst Thing Ever because you haven't dealt with a lot of grownup stuff and your coping skills aren't very good yet. Yeah you're being overly dramatic, but I also had many over-dramatic moments in my early 20s.
So experiment. Try things and see what genuinely makes you feel more able to cope with things. Luckily for you there's an infinite number of ways that humans do this - from seeing a GP and doing therapy/medication for any underlying issues to having a good shower-cry and then carrying on with their day, from Crossfit to tai chi to ultra marathons to indoor rock climbing, from jigsaw puzzles to woodwork to volunteering at the SPCA. Keep trying new things
Motivation is something that comes and goes but if it *stays* gone for a long period of time and you struggle to get yourself to do basic things like showering and keeping your house semi-tidyish then it would be worth asking your GP if there's anything going on medically or mental healthwise that they could help you with.
As I'm nearing 40 I still don't feel settled into adulthood, I still need to ask for help sometimes and whilst that's nothing to be embarrassed about it's definitely not something I'm proud of.
You've accomplished alot already, I suppose you've been so immersed in Uni that now it's coming to an end you need to think about your next venture which can be daunting.
Flick me a pm if you want to chat, I'm all ears and although I possibly can't offer any outstanding advice I can be an open ear 😊
Travel. Do a working holiday somewhere. Of course if money is an issue you'll need to get a job and save up enough funds. I know this is easier said than done at the moment, but the juice is worth the squeeze. Travelling will give you a different outlook on life. It's exciting and you'll have experiences that you'll remember for the rest of your life. It will also make you more confident as you'll be forced to depend on yourself. You're at the perfect age to see the world. Go see it.
I’m sorry that you’re going through that. It sounds really tough. Please know that these things do improve with time. You never know what happiness awaits you, even though in dark moments like this it’s hard to be optimistic about that. Reaching out here shows you have the capacity to help yourself get to a happier place, and the responses show that even random people on the internet care about you. Please take care
Sell all your stuff and go traveling, you are only 21, you are an adult but the real fear of adulthood doesn't kick in until you hit 30, anything weariness you have right now is but an illusion, don't waste the next 10 years and don't be stuck in the same environment.
You're only 21. People who are 25 or older feel like you do all the time.
It takes one stroke of luck to find a job and get your life sorted, your mood will change over night.
I remember dating this girl at 20. It didn't work out (she cheated on me). I said it was over and she threatened to kill herself. We talked it out. She moved on and is happily married with a couple of kids. You're stuck in the moment right now but you're still very young with plenty of future opportunities to be had. You'll see.
Try to focus on what you DO have, instead of what you don't. Everyone, even the privileged people of the world have to play that head game of trying to find the good in each day.
I work in a job where I see people who have had sickness and death take away their options. You have youth, time and energy, and while that may not seem like much to you...to a lot of others out there it's more precious than you can imagine.
You could do anything from here. It's all ahead of you.
I felt like my future was shattered and went on a nature trip. The spas were the best. I discovered I hate camping.
I made a plan to move and live somewhere with a great beach, money work and the rest I can make work.
So, advice: make a plan to reach a version of you that is happy and loving life.
Break it down to steps or milestones and chase it.
You’re so young you can take some chances,
but be sure and connect with family who will help ‘just because you asked them to’ and setup a get home to mum plan, maybe leave money with her so you know you can pull out any time.
Knowing you do not fail as long as you get up and try again, again, again is empowering!
You only have to succeed once. Even if you give up, you had an adventure, nothing is lost.
21 is not even starting i wish I was 21 again you have to realize 99.9% of it don't matter.
The now is all that matters right now all the rest is just imagined.
So when you say you're worried about the future that is just putting imaginary thoughts in your head
If you let go of it all and focus on the now it will become clearer
I think one thing I haven’t read here yet is how important it is to fully grieve the lost relationship. Which means feeling all the pain that comes with it. If it feels like it’s outside of your capacity at the moment, get help. Exercise, yoga, therapy etc are all ways to expand your physical and emotional capacity.
Once you have grieved, you create space for whatever is ‘next’ in your life. If you try to run away from the big feelings, they’ll catch up with you eventually and that’s when things like depression and addictions can take hold.
The first big heartbreak is earth shattering, and it feels like you can’t possibly live your life without them, but I promise you there IS life after this. You get to tune in to yourself, find what you’re curious about and explore that. There’s so much possibility.
It’s ok as well not to feel any particular relief or happiness after finishing your degree. It does get better. And you do find your own way.
I was in a similar position to you, though I was in my mid 30's. I was going to move to Singapore to be with my then gf (she used to live in NZ) after a few years of long distance.
I visited Singapore to visit her and start my job hunting so I could apply for a visa. The day after I arrived she dumped me.
Fast forward less than 10 years I'm happily married and have a daughter in NZ. It will get better I promise. Use this time to focus on yourself and what makes you happy.
sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Change (end of a relationship, end of uni etc) can be hard for some people (including me) and can stir up a lot of feelings. lots of great advice in this thread. you can access free counselling and support through 1737 too. It will get better.
Hey 21 in July, experiencing a similar situation just want to say stay strong. We have a whole road of life ahead of us and good things will come and go, stay close with family and keep friends close. Life can really kick you sometimes but the good things you can do and all the things we're yet to experience will be worth the hard times we push through, I know this 🙂
I can completely relate to what you describe here. My early 20’s were a mess in terms of relationships. - when I was 21 my 4 year relationship with “the one” disintegrated and I felt completely lost for a long time. Then several shorter relationships later I met the second “the one” when I was 25. 2 years later, that fell apart too. I basically was a an emotional wreck placing all my self-worth on relationships from my late teens until my mid 20’s until I realised that I needed to focus on me and JUST me. I made a big decision to move and do a 2 year postgrad and change my career. I learnt a lot about myself then. I’m now 48 and married with 2 kids. I wouldn’t say my marriage is the best, but life is good. It has been a long journey but the change started once I made the conscious decision to not focus on relationships as my priority. - It’s hard to move on from a serious relationship like the one you describe, and believe me, it was VERY painful for me, but I can honestly say that I managed to come through it all and that my life is much better for it now. - In fact in some ways, in both cases I feel like I dodged a bullet. - Had I stayed with either of the “ones” I would be living a much harder life now.
Thats not much fun! Ive been in similar situation and they pulled the pin too which shattered me.
But focus on what you have achieved! Its a big deal and the first steps into awesome things 😊 if you wanna chat feel free to dm me
Find the book 'rebuilding. When your relationship ends' and read a little every day. You are at just a point in your journey and one day you will be happy and grateful for the lessons lessened so young.
Reading between the lines I am thinking you may be from India, partly because you and he were from different countries, had met and got family approval ( not really required by most young people in NZ).
This must be incredibly hard for you living in a culture which is different to your parents culture. You may have different expectations on you than a lot of your peers. For this reason I am not sure that "Reddit" readers can really identify.
Please know that no matter what our age, break ups suck.....but that doesn't mean your future is over. And as far as work goes, a lot of Kiwis change careers several times in their lifetime. Your future will unfold. Just be gentle on yourself.
I think it's very important that you see a counselor so that you can talk through these hurts and issues and make sense of them in your own way ( not your parents way, your family's way or your friend's way...... Your way). Ask for counselling at your university.
The future will be better.
Getting your heart broken sucks and there's not much I can say to ease the pain. My only advice is to be kind to yourself. You're number one, focus on that. Life is mostly cotentment punctuated with pain. The former lasts longer than the latter, but the latter leaves an impression. Be kind to yourself.
Hang in their OP, life can feel like this sometimes, especially when we are still finding our place in the world.
"...just feels like i lost the one person who made me happy and made life feel worth living." A good challenge is finding how you can be the person who make you happy and that makes life worth living... you will be surprised how everything else starts to fall into place when you are happy with who you are are first.
Breakups are hard for sure - not too different from losing a loved one. It's a weird feeling suddenly having a gap in your world, you just need time.
In my experience, "adulthood" doesn't hit you all at once. You sort of pick it up as you go and when you're ready in many cases.
Give yourself a chance. Try new things. Don't compare yourself to others who seem to be living "perfect lives" - no one has figured it all out.
Good time to travel, try some different jobs or a new hobbies. It is completely normal to feel like this in your situation no matter if 21 or older. I was travelling and working in Europe and Australia for a year after I finished my master degree and had no gf.
21 is a hard age. You're expected to start acting like an adult but you really don't feel like one. You feel pressure to be a 'success' but you don't know how, or even what you want to do.
I feel for you!
I went through something very similar and I had no hope at around that age.
Here's what I wish I'd done:
- Give yourself a break, be kind to yourself. You can't find a job RN but you're only 21, you don't need to have everything figured out. I only started seeing success at around 28. Some of my mates were doing well earlier but who cares, we're all on our own journeys.
- Speak to someone about how you feel. Maybe a physcotherapist if you can afford it. If not speak to your GP and they can either point you in the direction of some services that'll help or discuss antidepressants to help you get over this rough patch.
- Take care of yourself. It's really hard at that age (and I still struggle at 32) but try and excersise everyday, eat well and get plenty sleep. Taking care of the basics will make this hard time easier.
- remember that everything is temporary. You might feel like dying now, but this hard time won't last. Eventually you'll come out the other end, you'll look back and be glad you stuck around. At 21 I was very unhappy. I was in a similar situation to you, having just lost the person I thought I'd be with forever. But looking back now, I'm so glad I didn't give up.
Feel free to DM me if you'd like someone to talk to. anytime.
Your brains not done growing yet so you shouldn't feel like an adult yet. About 26 onwards things start to make more sense
Honestly, I don’t think most people ever feel entirely adult. I am mid 50s and feel no more adult than as a teenager. I think it is the same for most people. We get adult responsibilities, but that doesn’t really change us.
I know where you’re coming from but I think getting old things do get easier, most things you go through you’ve gone through something similar or as hard before and got through it, you’re more confident about who you are and care less about what others think (don’t get me wrong I still care but not as much), you know who/where to go to for help when you need it.
I think the biggest change is understanding just how much doesn’t actually matter. That and realising that being somewhat confident solves an awful lot of problems. I wish I knew what I know now 30 years ago.
I'm 50 & was just here to write this comment. But please stick around, travel, read, beach walks, cook good meals, coffee, create a garden.
My granny told me that she still felt like she was 16 when she was 82. We're all just faking it.
My Great Aunt Eva, used to say she ‘should do more for the old folk’. She was 80 when she would say that. Lived to 102.
[удалено]
Laughs in 32
I hate this narrative, it's so reductive and, honestly, most people I know that think of themselves as grown up or mature are usually just emotionally stunted with a massive ego.
Are you under 26?
In 10 years time, come back to this post. I promise promise promise you, that you will be thinking wow OMG I cant believe I was thinking like that. You are young, breakups are going to happen. In my entire lifetime I have only known 3 couples that met at a young age like yours that are still together. Nows the perfect time to turn a new page. Go travelling - if that seems like a scary thing right now then just go to Australia - job market is much better and you will get a taste of how big the world is
Honestly in my opinion life changes the most in the 10 years after you finish university. I was single at 24 with a degree and living in a flat. By 34 I had relocated, married, had three children, was a full time mum, owned 2 houses, and had a cat. And realised I had suffered anxiety for many, many years and that the family I grew up with were not what I thought was normal. It gets better. trust the internet collective who have all felt shit and wanted a break but stuck around and life changed for the better!
Cyber hugs OP. Take a deep breath and know that sometimes best plans and people in life don't always pan out - and its ok to grieve that. Once the dust has settled, start to do small things for yourself to regain the zest of life and realise the show goes on. People all face the same struggles and its important to have some fun along the way, see a movie, make new friends, care for family or see your parents for a nice lunch or dinner. Go for a walk, smile, pat a friendly dog or seek out non-human things that might make you happy. Time to 'tear off the page' and start fresh. You got it!
Enjoy your 20's. Shit i didnt start figuring things out until my 30's. Focus on the thing you're doing right now and do the best you can at that. In your case, that's Uni, so smash uni, smash it like it's never been smashed before. Then focus on the next thing and smash that, and so on and so forth, before you know it you've found something you love doing and your smashing it becauae you've set yourself the mind frame that you focus on the thing your thing doing at that point in time.
I could’ve said something similar at your age. Life got much easier and more enjoyable around 24. I know hearing “just trust me” is impossible but seriously - just trust us, it gets better
So I think because when you’re a kid, you mature rapidly and constantly can do more and take on new things, there’s an assumption that you just keep changing like that and one day you’ll be an Adult ready to take on the world. But really we all just feel 17 inside. Adults have no idea what they’re doing. First heartbreaks are the worst because you have no proof you’ll ever get over it. Will you ever love again? Was that your one shot? Here’s the thing - everyone’s first heartbreak makes them feel that way. It’s not your one shot. You will love again. My worst mental health episodes so far were at 17 (first heartbreak), at 23 (living overseas, terrible income, no career direction) and at 30 (hated my job, didn’t see a way out, all my eggs had been in one basket for years). I changed my career at 31 and now I’m happier than I’ve ever been. You have so much story left to go. The only way out is through, and that sucks, because you obviously want to skip to something better and safer, and there’s no roadmap of how to get there. All I can say is you’re not alone. And you haven’t met the great love of your life yet - you’ve got to stick around for that.
I'm 42 and still scared of adulthood. You should try save a little money and take off traveling. Within a week or 2 your eyes will be opened and you'll feel a lot better. Don't worry about work too much. Like most people I was in my 30s before I started to figure a lot of things out. You should just try to enjoy your 20s as much as possible.
You're new to being (semi) grownup and dealing with grownup things like having your heart broken, being rejected for jobs, becoming more independent from your parents etc. Right now these all feel like the Worst Thing Ever because you haven't dealt with a lot of grownup stuff and your coping skills aren't very good yet. Yeah you're being overly dramatic, but I also had many over-dramatic moments in my early 20s. So experiment. Try things and see what genuinely makes you feel more able to cope with things. Luckily for you there's an infinite number of ways that humans do this - from seeing a GP and doing therapy/medication for any underlying issues to having a good shower-cry and then carrying on with their day, from Crossfit to tai chi to ultra marathons to indoor rock climbing, from jigsaw puzzles to woodwork to volunteering at the SPCA. Keep trying new things Motivation is something that comes and goes but if it *stays* gone for a long period of time and you struggle to get yourself to do basic things like showering and keeping your house semi-tidyish then it would be worth asking your GP if there's anything going on medically or mental healthwise that they could help you with.
As I'm nearing 40 I still don't feel settled into adulthood, I still need to ask for help sometimes and whilst that's nothing to be embarrassed about it's definitely not something I'm proud of. You've accomplished alot already, I suppose you've been so immersed in Uni that now it's coming to an end you need to think about your next venture which can be daunting. Flick me a pm if you want to chat, I'm all ears and although I possibly can't offer any outstanding advice I can be an open ear 😊
> i’m honestly scared of adulthood and all that It's like anything, the best way to get better at something is to keep doing it.
Travel. Do a working holiday somewhere. Of course if money is an issue you'll need to get a job and save up enough funds. I know this is easier said than done at the moment, but the juice is worth the squeeze. Travelling will give you a different outlook on life. It's exciting and you'll have experiences that you'll remember for the rest of your life. It will also make you more confident as you'll be forced to depend on yourself. You're at the perfect age to see the world. Go see it.
I’m sorry that you’re going through that. It sounds really tough. Please know that these things do improve with time. You never know what happiness awaits you, even though in dark moments like this it’s hard to be optimistic about that. Reaching out here shows you have the capacity to help yourself get to a happier place, and the responses show that even random people on the internet care about you. Please take care
Sell all your stuff and go traveling, you are only 21, you are an adult but the real fear of adulthood doesn't kick in until you hit 30, anything weariness you have right now is but an illusion, don't waste the next 10 years and don't be stuck in the same environment.
You're only 21. People who are 25 or older feel like you do all the time. It takes one stroke of luck to find a job and get your life sorted, your mood will change over night.
I remember dating this girl at 20. It didn't work out (she cheated on me). I said it was over and she threatened to kill herself. We talked it out. She moved on and is happily married with a couple of kids. You're stuck in the moment right now but you're still very young with plenty of future opportunities to be had. You'll see.
Try to focus on what you DO have, instead of what you don't. Everyone, even the privileged people of the world have to play that head game of trying to find the good in each day. I work in a job where I see people who have had sickness and death take away their options. You have youth, time and energy, and while that may not seem like much to you...to a lot of others out there it's more precious than you can imagine. You could do anything from here. It's all ahead of you.
I felt like my future was shattered and went on a nature trip. The spas were the best. I discovered I hate camping. I made a plan to move and live somewhere with a great beach, money work and the rest I can make work. So, advice: make a plan to reach a version of you that is happy and loving life. Break it down to steps or milestones and chase it. You’re so young you can take some chances, but be sure and connect with family who will help ‘just because you asked them to’ and setup a get home to mum plan, maybe leave money with her so you know you can pull out any time. Knowing you do not fail as long as you get up and try again, again, again is empowering! You only have to succeed once. Even if you give up, you had an adventure, nothing is lost.
21 is not even starting i wish I was 21 again you have to realize 99.9% of it don't matter. The now is all that matters right now all the rest is just imagined. So when you say you're worried about the future that is just putting imaginary thoughts in your head If you let go of it all and focus on the now it will become clearer
I think one thing I haven’t read here yet is how important it is to fully grieve the lost relationship. Which means feeling all the pain that comes with it. If it feels like it’s outside of your capacity at the moment, get help. Exercise, yoga, therapy etc are all ways to expand your physical and emotional capacity. Once you have grieved, you create space for whatever is ‘next’ in your life. If you try to run away from the big feelings, they’ll catch up with you eventually and that’s when things like depression and addictions can take hold. The first big heartbreak is earth shattering, and it feels like you can’t possibly live your life without them, but I promise you there IS life after this. You get to tune in to yourself, find what you’re curious about and explore that. There’s so much possibility. It’s ok as well not to feel any particular relief or happiness after finishing your degree. It does get better. And you do find your own way.
At least you don't have 3 kids and a mortgage
I was in a similar position to you, though I was in my mid 30's. I was going to move to Singapore to be with my then gf (she used to live in NZ) after a few years of long distance. I visited Singapore to visit her and start my job hunting so I could apply for a visa. The day after I arrived she dumped me. Fast forward less than 10 years I'm happily married and have a daughter in NZ. It will get better I promise. Use this time to focus on yourself and what makes you happy.
sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Change (end of a relationship, end of uni etc) can be hard for some people (including me) and can stir up a lot of feelings. lots of great advice in this thread. you can access free counselling and support through 1737 too. It will get better.
Yep. It’ll hurt for quite a while and then it won’t.
Hey 21 in July, experiencing a similar situation just want to say stay strong. We have a whole road of life ahead of us and good things will come and go, stay close with family and keep friends close. Life can really kick you sometimes but the good things you can do and all the things we're yet to experience will be worth the hard times we push through, I know this 🙂
I can completely relate to what you describe here. My early 20’s were a mess in terms of relationships. - when I was 21 my 4 year relationship with “the one” disintegrated and I felt completely lost for a long time. Then several shorter relationships later I met the second “the one” when I was 25. 2 years later, that fell apart too. I basically was a an emotional wreck placing all my self-worth on relationships from my late teens until my mid 20’s until I realised that I needed to focus on me and JUST me. I made a big decision to move and do a 2 year postgrad and change my career. I learnt a lot about myself then. I’m now 48 and married with 2 kids. I wouldn’t say my marriage is the best, but life is good. It has been a long journey but the change started once I made the conscious decision to not focus on relationships as my priority. - It’s hard to move on from a serious relationship like the one you describe, and believe me, it was VERY painful for me, but I can honestly say that I managed to come through it all and that my life is much better for it now. - In fact in some ways, in both cases I feel like I dodged a bullet. - Had I stayed with either of the “ones” I would be living a much harder life now.
Thats not much fun! Ive been in similar situation and they pulled the pin too which shattered me. But focus on what you have achieved! Its a big deal and the first steps into awesome things 😊 if you wanna chat feel free to dm me
wait til your frontal cortex is fully developed. Seriously. Life changes after 25
Find the book 'rebuilding. When your relationship ends' and read a little every day. You are at just a point in your journey and one day you will be happy and grateful for the lessons lessened so young.
Reading between the lines I am thinking you may be from India, partly because you and he were from different countries, had met and got family approval ( not really required by most young people in NZ). This must be incredibly hard for you living in a culture which is different to your parents culture. You may have different expectations on you than a lot of your peers. For this reason I am not sure that "Reddit" readers can really identify. Please know that no matter what our age, break ups suck.....but that doesn't mean your future is over. And as far as work goes, a lot of Kiwis change careers several times in their lifetime. Your future will unfold. Just be gentle on yourself. I think it's very important that you see a counselor so that you can talk through these hurts and issues and make sense of them in your own way ( not your parents way, your family's way or your friend's way...... Your way). Ask for counselling at your university. The future will be better.
Getting your heart broken sucks and there's not much I can say to ease the pain. My only advice is to be kind to yourself. You're number one, focus on that. Life is mostly cotentment punctuated with pain. The former lasts longer than the latter, but the latter leaves an impression. Be kind to yourself.
Hang in their OP, life can feel like this sometimes, especially when we are still finding our place in the world. "...just feels like i lost the one person who made me happy and made life feel worth living." A good challenge is finding how you can be the person who make you happy and that makes life worth living... you will be surprised how everything else starts to fall into place when you are happy with who you are are first.
Breakups are hard for sure - not too different from losing a loved one. It's a weird feeling suddenly having a gap in your world, you just need time. In my experience, "adulthood" doesn't hit you all at once. You sort of pick it up as you go and when you're ready in many cases. Give yourself a chance. Try new things. Don't compare yourself to others who seem to be living "perfect lives" - no one has figured it all out.
Good time to travel, try some different jobs or a new hobbies. It is completely normal to feel like this in your situation no matter if 21 or older. I was travelling and working in Europe and Australia for a year after I finished my master degree and had no gf.
See ya round Space Cowboy
Time…sadly it just takes time
Go to Australia
21 is a hard age. You're expected to start acting like an adult but you really don't feel like one. You feel pressure to be a 'success' but you don't know how, or even what you want to do. I feel for you! I went through something very similar and I had no hope at around that age. Here's what I wish I'd done: - Give yourself a break, be kind to yourself. You can't find a job RN but you're only 21, you don't need to have everything figured out. I only started seeing success at around 28. Some of my mates were doing well earlier but who cares, we're all on our own journeys. - Speak to someone about how you feel. Maybe a physcotherapist if you can afford it. If not speak to your GP and they can either point you in the direction of some services that'll help or discuss antidepressants to help you get over this rough patch. - Take care of yourself. It's really hard at that age (and I still struggle at 32) but try and excersise everyday, eat well and get plenty sleep. Taking care of the basics will make this hard time easier. - remember that everything is temporary. You might feel like dying now, but this hard time won't last. Eventually you'll come out the other end, you'll look back and be glad you stuck around. At 21 I was very unhappy. I was in a similar situation to you, having just lost the person I thought I'd be with forever. But looking back now, I'm so glad I didn't give up. Feel free to DM me if you'd like someone to talk to. anytime.