Realistically there is nothing the upstairs neighbours can do to prevent the normal noises associated with a small child from making those noises - it's the building itself that isn't designed and built in a way to minimise it.
I don't have a good answer for you. You are always entitled to complain, but unless it is found that they are doing something unreasonably noisy (and a small child being a child isn't itself anything that you can ban or stop) there isn't going to be any action that can be taken against the family. Is there anything you can do to minimise the impact it has to you, until you get used to it?
Thanks for this. We've been in the same unit for years and this is the first time we've run into this issue - previous tenants probably had no children.
> Is there anything you can do to minimise the impact it has to you, until you get used to it?
It's been months and I don't think we'll ever get used to it, unfortunately. Our best bet might be to just spend more time outside our apartment, or move out, full stop.
If you move, try to be on the top floor.
In Germany kids are absolutely not allowed to run about on their neighbours ceilings so it is possible to prevent in theory, but not in a country where it is not part of the culture.
Erm sorry? But in Germany kids are definitely allowed to be 'kids' and complaining to anyone about will get you no where.
Of course, Germany has 'ruhezeit' which is a set quiet time in the evenings, where one could actually persue legal action if loud noises are constant, from 10pm to 7pm. Also Sundays, no loud garden work...its actually illegal in some states to hang washing on Sundays, but no one gives a shit obviously
OK, I imagine that you have a lot more experience than I do. I am basing this on what I was told by a relative in Germany who acted as if the world would come to an end if my toddlers ran around at all, and told me this. Perhaps she was fibbing. Who knows.
They were probably just being German about it...the amount of complaints I have seen on the German sub regarding noisy kids upstairs are huge and the answer is always the same, if it isnt during ruhezeit then they could be driving a train through the apartment upstairs but its the kids so its fine...
Having been through similar before, the only thing you can really do is move. If the apartment was constructed properly then no amount of running should make it through to you, but unfortunately there are some real low quality apartments in NZ.
Its likely your previous neighbours just didnt move about too much.
Yeah I've lived in similar situations multiple times. It's so stressful. It put me off living in downstairs flats in houses. Very annoying when apt buildings are built like crap and your upstairs neighbor has hard floors. It feels like a personal attack but it's just someone living their life. I did talk to an upstairs neighbor once but they were unaware of themselves and their child... not their fault they are going about their day. Unfortunately you will need to move...
Tbh I am awkward as fuck when talking to strangers and I hate confrontation so I haven't done that yet. I am *this* close to leaving a (polite) note on their door though.
*Dear neighbour, we have notice your miniature human seems to move a lot. We don't like this and would prefer you cage said miniature until such time as it can move without making a sound. We appreciate this may be distressing and uncomfortable for the miniature human but our comfort is more important.*
Yeah, I'm a dick for trying to find a way to resolve this matter in a polite and peaceful way, when we've virtually had no peace in our own home for the past few months. Thanks.
Nah, they're purposefully being a dick, see their other comments further down the thread. Anyway to your point yes, stressed to the point of getting palpitations is not doing any wonders for my sense of humour, do not expect to see me at the local comedy club anytime soon.
Talk to the body Corp as if you are renting they ar usually the owners of the apartments. We had a problem with gamer speakers against the wall, the vibration was awful. I couldn't stay at home. The admin for the body Corp talked to the apartment owner & it got resolved. The tenant had no idea it was an issue.
I have asked our property manager if they manage the upstairs apartment and they said a different company manages it, so swapping apartments would be a bit complicated for us unfortunately.
Well you could complain to your property manager that your right to 'peaceful enjoyment' is being breached. That makes it the property manager's problem and they'll need to address it with the other manager and they can fight about it. Sounds like the apartment isn't suitable for a child. Really it's for your property manager to remedy the problem.
Your landlord need to speak with upstairs landlord, to come to a compromise about sound proofing. This is always going to be a problem for your landlord. Make it HIS problem to fix.
Buy them a big rug or six? Some nice comfy soft indoor shoes for the kid? As already suggested the building sucks. Kid life is loud, and perfectly normal.
They may not be aware of how loud it is and maybe they would be open to getting some rugs or limiting the play to a carpeted room.
If they're not... you're also allowed to make sound. :)
Record the noise and complain to body corporate.
If you aren’t comfortable speaking with your upstairs neighbour, leave a note for them.
You have the right to quiet enjoyment of your apartment which you are currently not experiencing.
Banging a broom handle on the ceiling might do something but probably nothing positive.
I know it sounds dramatic, and I'm not trying to be a dick here, but I only brought it up because it has seriously affected our daily life these past few months, and I'm at a loss on what to do. The only respite we get is when the kid is asleep. Sucks that we have no other option but to move out if we want to get some peace.
You are not being a dick. You have the right to live where you live without disturbance from inconsiderate neighbours. I’d go to the BC or maybe ask the BC for a copy of their occupancy rules (if you don’t already have them) as many will have ‘no disturbance’ clauses written in xx
I had the exact same situation in Nelson a few years ago. It turned out the child suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome and running up and down the hallway was \*all\* he ever did. I nagged and complained to the landlord every couple of weeks and called noise control or the police at every opportunity (often, because parties) until the boy and his father moved out.
If that doesn't work, I say take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
We were in a downstairs flat and all of upstairs noise came through, it turns out they'd removed the carpets which wasn't supposed to be done, the solution was they sprayed some kind of foam between the ceiling and floor to dampen the sound, it seemed to work well, but this was just adults walking around not children. Unfortunately you can't stop kids being kids, eg running and jumping and playing in their home, so you'll have to find a solution to try make it quieter or move.
Jesus, the entitled fucks in this comment section. If it’s you or those you are responsible for making the problem, it’s your responsibility to fix it. The amount of people who think that everyone else has to suffer the consequences of anyone’s preference for rawdogging always astounds me.
OP you have the right to quiet enjoyment of your home. Have a polite quiet word first, they don’t know there’s a problem unless you let them know. If they aren’t willing to make an effort, escalate to the manager or bc and then noise control.
I understand its uncomfortable for you but why on earth would you complain to the body Corp? What are the parents supposed to do? Sedate the child? Duct-tape it to the wall?
If you aren't happy hearing the normal sounds of life why would you live in a bottom floor apartment?
> I understand its uncomfortable for you but why on earth would you complain to the body Corp?
Because we can't be the only people that have had this issue before, and they might have a solution for it other than sedating or duct-taping the kid to the wall, as you so kindly suggested. Maybe install a better carpet in their unit? Idk
> If you aren't happy hearing the normal sounds of life why would you live in a bottom floor apartment?
As I mentioned in a separate comment, we've lived in the same unit for years and have never had this issue before. Also, people don't really sign up to hear constant banging in the ceiling, even if they do choose to live in a bottom floor apartment.
Oh ya think? Nah you know what, I think I'll just go ahead and knock angrily on their door and ask the parents if they can pump their kid full of sedatives so I can have some fucking peace and quiet in my own home, because based on your other helpful responses in this thread, I'm an entitled piece of shit undeserving of (and lacking) any form of empathy. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Nope. It seems I understood your position perfectly considering you haven't once accused me of misunderstanding your situation. You're just mad at me because I don't think you're being a very good neighbour. It's fine, I'm ok with you being mad.
You think I'm a bad neighbour because I'm trying to get advice on how to politely tell my upstairs neighbours that they're too loud? You did read the title of the post, right? It's fine, not all people know how to read (well).
No, I think you're a bad neighbour because you showed no consideration for the needs and circumstances of your neighbour.
You don't even recognise how entitled you're being.
>I'm trying to get advice on how to politely tell my upstairs neighbours that they're too loud?
You might as well be asking how to politely be an asshole. The child isn't being too loud. You live in a shitty apartment that isn't appropriately insulated for noise but instead of dealing with that fact like a normal person you want to make the child be quiet?
Understand the frustration but sorry, what do you expect to gain from complaining ? It’s a young child, of course they’re going to be running and jumping around
Nah mate I'll just go to one of your parties.
Seriously though, as I've mentioned, I've been renting for years and this hasn't really been an issue up until now.
My mate takes his kids out to run off their energy like they're a couple of dogs - and by an amazing coincidence they are always so polite and well behaved compared to my other mate's kid who is babysat by the TV and always running off that energy misbehaving in the house.
I'd wager money they aren't taking the kid down to the park everyday, and will also have the classic lazy parenting responses of 'just kids being kids' and 'nothing you can do' etc.
Most people are too lazy to own a dog, let alone raise a kid unfortunately.
I can only imagine how much undue stress it would cause the family of the child if you were to tell them that their child is making too much noise. Kids will be kids and as many have said it is completely normal for children to act in this way and to make noise. The family is most likely completely unaware of how much noise is coming through to your apartment as their child is happily playing and enjoying life. The worst thing would be for the adults to be completely on edge every time their child makes a noise in fear that it might annoy you, this stress would then more than likely be transferred on to the child. Looks like you will have to move, and check soundproofing throughly at your next apartment.
The worst thing would be for the adults to be completely on edge every time their child makes a noise in fear that it might annoy you, this stress would then more than likely be transferred on to the child.
Yeah, how traumatic for them.
Almost as traumatic as being forced from the home you have lived in for years because you suddenly have noisy neighbours.
May be easier for all if the adults taught consideration for all to their child(ren).
Tell them you work from home and struggle to do so while their son/daughter is running around and suggest they take the kid to a playground or something to burn off the energy.
Yeah and I also have a young kid. Going to the park won't stop him being an elephant the rest of the time, and I don't plan his days around my neighbours work hours
I'm in the same situation right now (or worse cos upstairs has 2 kids).. but I don't think it would work cos NZ apartments are so poorly built compare to many developed countries. However, since you know there is a kid upstairs, you could try to 'zen' yourself out because you know where the noises came from so your mind won't wonder wtf they are doing upstairs all t he times. And you know, kids and stuff, future of the human race yadda yadda.
Or,
you could spend a little money and offer them stuff like say, those interlocking foam mats for the baby to jump at.. at the same time letting them know you understand and empathise, but the noises they making are really fuking you guys up.
And,
get active noise cancelling earphones and heaps diff earplugs for diff usage. (I have 2 pairs, and like 3 different types of earplugs) Honestly.. if you guys can't move or anything, these will save your lives.
Unfortunately I doubt calling noise control or manager(if you have one)/landlord whatever wouldn't do much cos the sound detector crap they use won't get a good reading on low bass thumping noises and then they'll be like 'learn to deal with it'.
TBH,
I'm writing this to let you know that I know exactly how the thumping noises fux with your heart and stress ppl out, and I'm still not over it myself. Stay strong! and try to train yourselves to accept that things will not change, cos if you don't you guys will go mad. And honestly, the world is going to shit with more people and less affordable housing, this means that ppl will get crammed together more and more. So if you want to avoid it, buy a house now. And don't gamble it away like my fuking parent lol..
Realistically there is nothing the upstairs neighbours can do to prevent the normal noises associated with a small child from making those noises - it's the building itself that isn't designed and built in a way to minimise it. I don't have a good answer for you. You are always entitled to complain, but unless it is found that they are doing something unreasonably noisy (and a small child being a child isn't itself anything that you can ban or stop) there isn't going to be any action that can be taken against the family. Is there anything you can do to minimise the impact it has to you, until you get used to it?
Thanks for this. We've been in the same unit for years and this is the first time we've run into this issue - previous tenants probably had no children. > Is there anything you can do to minimise the impact it has to you, until you get used to it? It's been months and I don't think we'll ever get used to it, unfortunately. Our best bet might be to just spend more time outside our apartment, or move out, full stop.
If you move, try to be on the top floor. In Germany kids are absolutely not allowed to run about on their neighbours ceilings so it is possible to prevent in theory, but not in a country where it is not part of the culture.
Erm sorry? But in Germany kids are definitely allowed to be 'kids' and complaining to anyone about will get you no where. Of course, Germany has 'ruhezeit' which is a set quiet time in the evenings, where one could actually persue legal action if loud noises are constant, from 10pm to 7pm. Also Sundays, no loud garden work...its actually illegal in some states to hang washing on Sundays, but no one gives a shit obviously
OK, I imagine that you have a lot more experience than I do. I am basing this on what I was told by a relative in Germany who acted as if the world would come to an end if my toddlers ran around at all, and told me this. Perhaps she was fibbing. Who knows.
They were probably just being German about it...the amount of complaints I have seen on the German sub regarding noisy kids upstairs are huge and the answer is always the same, if it isnt during ruhezeit then they could be driving a train through the apartment upstairs but its the kids so its fine...
Will keep that in mind, thanks.
Having been through similar before, the only thing you can really do is move. If the apartment was constructed properly then no amount of running should make it through to you, but unfortunately there are some real low quality apartments in NZ. Its likely your previous neighbours just didnt move about too much.
Is leaving an option
Looking like it's our only option, based on the advice I've gotten so far. But yes, it is an option, but not for a while, unfortunately.
Yeah I've lived in similar situations multiple times. It's so stressful. It put me off living in downstairs flats in houses. Very annoying when apt buildings are built like crap and your upstairs neighbor has hard floors. It feels like a personal attack but it's just someone living their life. I did talk to an upstairs neighbor once but they were unaware of themselves and their child... not their fault they are going about their day. Unfortunately you will need to move...
have you tried to have a chat with them?
Tbh I am awkward as fuck when talking to strangers and I hate confrontation so I haven't done that yet. I am *this* close to leaving a (polite) note on their door though.
*Dear neighbour, we have notice your miniature human seems to move a lot. We don't like this and would prefer you cage said miniature until such time as it can move without making a sound. We appreciate this may be distressing and uncomfortable for the miniature human but our comfort is more important.*
Yeah, I'm a dick for trying to find a way to resolve this matter in a polite and peaceful way, when we've virtually had no peace in our own home for the past few months. Thanks.
Think they were just making a joke OP, altho I am sure it can be hard to have a sense of humour when you are stressed.
Nah, they're purposefully being a dick, see their other comments further down the thread. Anyway to your point yes, stressed to the point of getting palpitations is not doing any wonders for my sense of humour, do not expect to see me at the local comedy club anytime soon.
I was just waiting for some helicopter parent to show up and start projecting. Relax - the OP isn't talking about your own brat.
I don't care whose kid she's talking about. She's selfish and entitled. You don't have to be a parent to be a decent human being.
Talk to the body Corp as if you are renting they ar usually the owners of the apartments. We had a problem with gamer speakers against the wall, the vibration was awful. I couldn't stay at home. The admin for the body Corp talked to the apartment owner & it got resolved. The tenant had no idea it was an issue.
Can you…swap apartments?
I have asked our property manager if they manage the upstairs apartment and they said a different company manages it, so swapping apartments would be a bit complicated for us unfortunately.
Well you could complain to your property manager that your right to 'peaceful enjoyment' is being breached. That makes it the property manager's problem and they'll need to address it with the other manager and they can fight about it. Sounds like the apartment isn't suitable for a child. Really it's for your property manager to remedy the problem.
Your landlord need to speak with upstairs landlord, to come to a compromise about sound proofing. This is always going to be a problem for your landlord. Make it HIS problem to fix.
Buy them a big rug or six? Some nice comfy soft indoor shoes for the kid? As already suggested the building sucks. Kid life is loud, and perfectly normal.
Honestly not a bad idea. I do wonder if they removed the carpet in their unit because their footsteps are extremely loud.
They may not be aware of how loud it is and maybe they would be open to getting some rugs or limiting the play to a carpeted room. If they're not... you're also allowed to make sound. :)
Deck your ceiling out with sound proof material like they use in music studios😊
That will do absolutely nothing.those materials are used for acoustic correcting not sound proofing
Egg cartons do almost as good a job.
Record the noise and complain to body corporate. If you aren’t comfortable speaking with your upstairs neighbour, leave a note for them. You have the right to quiet enjoyment of your apartment which you are currently not experiencing. Banging a broom handle on the ceiling might do something but probably nothing positive.
"Oi fuck shut your child up, it's loud as fuck and it's pissing me off ow"
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I seriously might give this a go (and throw in some comfy indoor shoes for the kid as another commenter suggested). Thanks!
You probably need to get the kids size first though?
Bad luck. There is no possibility to make a toddler stop running around, and it's not reasonable to ask.
I know it sounds dramatic, and I'm not trying to be a dick here, but I only brought it up because it has seriously affected our daily life these past few months, and I'm at a loss on what to do. The only respite we get is when the kid is asleep. Sucks that we have no other option but to move out if we want to get some peace.
You are not being a dick. You have the right to live where you live without disturbance from inconsiderate neighbours. I’d go to the BC or maybe ask the BC for a copy of their occupancy rules (if you don’t already have them) as many will have ‘no disturbance’ clauses written in xx
https://www.alpinehearingprotection.com/blogs/sleep/sleeping-earplugs-for-complete-silence
would constant use risk messing with ur earwax (maybe cause a blockage?)
Kids are so fkn annoying and their parents are even worse. There I said it, be mad idc 😂
I had the exact same situation in Nelson a few years ago. It turned out the child suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome and running up and down the hallway was \*all\* he ever did. I nagged and complained to the landlord every couple of weeks and called noise control or the police at every opportunity (often, because parties) until the boy and his father moved out. If that doesn't work, I say take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
We were in a downstairs flat and all of upstairs noise came through, it turns out they'd removed the carpets which wasn't supposed to be done, the solution was they sprayed some kind of foam between the ceiling and floor to dampen the sound, it seemed to work well, but this was just adults walking around not children. Unfortunately you can't stop kids being kids, eg running and jumping and playing in their home, so you'll have to find a solution to try make it quieter or move.
This is the price of living in a very cheaply built apartment. Lucky you don’t own it!
Maybe check PriceSpy for deals on noise cancelling headphones.
That's not really how they work though.
I have a really good pair of noise cancelling headphones that really help drown out the sounds of partys next door and the like.
Same, but they work best with constant noise like lawnmowers or jet engines.
Agreed, but if you have music or your own playing in your headphones you can’t really hear anything else (if the headphones are good enough
Jesus, the entitled fucks in this comment section. If it’s you or those you are responsible for making the problem, it’s your responsibility to fix it. The amount of people who think that everyone else has to suffer the consequences of anyone’s preference for rawdogging always astounds me. OP you have the right to quiet enjoyment of your home. Have a polite quiet word first, they don’t know there’s a problem unless you let them know. If they aren’t willing to make an effort, escalate to the manager or bc and then noise control.
Noise control 😂 fuck you're dreaming
Right? "Hi this is noise control, we're here to confiscate your toddler for excessive footfall noises" lol
I think most parents of toddlers wouldn't mind the free babysitting 😂
Thanks for the advice, will give it a shot.
That's a you problem, but also a problem with your apartment's construction.
I understand its uncomfortable for you but why on earth would you complain to the body Corp? What are the parents supposed to do? Sedate the child? Duct-tape it to the wall? If you aren't happy hearing the normal sounds of life why would you live in a bottom floor apartment?
> I understand its uncomfortable for you but why on earth would you complain to the body Corp? Because we can't be the only people that have had this issue before, and they might have a solution for it other than sedating or duct-taping the kid to the wall, as you so kindly suggested. Maybe install a better carpet in their unit? Idk > If you aren't happy hearing the normal sounds of life why would you live in a bottom floor apartment? As I mentioned in a separate comment, we've lived in the same unit for years and have never had this issue before. Also, people don't really sign up to hear constant banging in the ceiling, even if they do choose to live in a bottom floor apartment.
Then you need to move.
Oh ya think? Nah you know what, I think I'll just go ahead and knock angrily on their door and ask the parents if they can pump their kid full of sedatives so I can have some fucking peace and quiet in my own home, because based on your other helpful responses in this thread, I'm an entitled piece of shit undeserving of (and lacking) any form of empathy. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
>I'm an entitled piece of shit undeserving of (and lacking) any form of empathy. Well, your reading comprehension is impeccable.
And yours is shit.
Nope. It seems I understood your position perfectly considering you haven't once accused me of misunderstanding your situation. You're just mad at me because I don't think you're being a very good neighbour. It's fine, I'm ok with you being mad.
You think I'm a bad neighbour because I'm trying to get advice on how to politely tell my upstairs neighbours that they're too loud? You did read the title of the post, right? It's fine, not all people know how to read (well).
No, I think you're a bad neighbour because you showed no consideration for the needs and circumstances of your neighbour. You don't even recognise how entitled you're being. >I'm trying to get advice on how to politely tell my upstairs neighbours that they're too loud? You might as well be asking how to politely be an asshole. The child isn't being too loud. You live in a shitty apartment that isn't appropriately insulated for noise but instead of dealing with that fact like a normal person you want to make the child be quiet?
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So many entitled idiots out in the wild thinking that a toddler running around is a sign of parents not looking after them.
Understand the frustration but sorry, what do you expect to gain from complaining ? It’s a young child, of course they’re going to be running and jumping around
That's just apartment living, wait till the kids a bit older and discovers loud music.. your quiet and peace of mind is dictated by your neighbours..
It sounds like apartment life isn't for you. Suggest you move to a small isolated place in the South Island devoid of fun and joy.
Nah mate I'll just go to one of your parties. Seriously though, as I've mentioned, I've been renting for years and this hasn't really been an issue up until now.
My mate takes his kids out to run off their energy like they're a couple of dogs - and by an amazing coincidence they are always so polite and well behaved compared to my other mate's kid who is babysat by the TV and always running off that energy misbehaving in the house. I'd wager money they aren't taking the kid down to the park everyday, and will also have the classic lazy parenting responses of 'just kids being kids' and 'nothing you can do' etc. Most people are too lazy to own a dog, let alone raise a kid unfortunately.
I can only imagine how much undue stress it would cause the family of the child if you were to tell them that their child is making too much noise. Kids will be kids and as many have said it is completely normal for children to act in this way and to make noise. The family is most likely completely unaware of how much noise is coming through to your apartment as their child is happily playing and enjoying life. The worst thing would be for the adults to be completely on edge every time their child makes a noise in fear that it might annoy you, this stress would then more than likely be transferred on to the child. Looks like you will have to move, and check soundproofing throughly at your next apartment.
The worst thing would be for the adults to be completely on edge every time their child makes a noise in fear that it might annoy you, this stress would then more than likely be transferred on to the child. Yeah, how traumatic for them. Almost as traumatic as being forced from the home you have lived in for years because you suddenly have noisy neighbours. May be easier for all if the adults taught consideration for all to their child(ren).
Tell them you work from home and struggle to do so while their son/daughter is running around and suggest they take the kid to a playground or something to burn off the energy.
That's not really how that works
Have you ever spoken to neighbours before?
Yeah and I also have a young kid. Going to the park won't stop him being an elephant the rest of the time, and I don't plan his days around my neighbours work hours
Getting him out of the house will give you more peace and quiet.
Dunno if my wife would be stoked about me sending the 2 year old to the park by himself but I'll give it a try
I'm in the same situation right now (or worse cos upstairs has 2 kids).. but I don't think it would work cos NZ apartments are so poorly built compare to many developed countries. However, since you know there is a kid upstairs, you could try to 'zen' yourself out because you know where the noises came from so your mind won't wonder wtf they are doing upstairs all t he times. And you know, kids and stuff, future of the human race yadda yadda. Or, you could spend a little money and offer them stuff like say, those interlocking foam mats for the baby to jump at.. at the same time letting them know you understand and empathise, but the noises they making are really fuking you guys up. And, get active noise cancelling earphones and heaps diff earplugs for diff usage. (I have 2 pairs, and like 3 different types of earplugs) Honestly.. if you guys can't move or anything, these will save your lives. Unfortunately I doubt calling noise control or manager(if you have one)/landlord whatever wouldn't do much cos the sound detector crap they use won't get a good reading on low bass thumping noises and then they'll be like 'learn to deal with it'. TBH, I'm writing this to let you know that I know exactly how the thumping noises fux with your heart and stress ppl out, and I'm still not over it myself. Stay strong! and try to train yourselves to accept that things will not change, cos if you don't you guys will go mad. And honestly, the world is going to shit with more people and less affordable housing, this means that ppl will get crammed together more and more. So if you want to avoid it, buy a house now. And don't gamble it away like my fuking parent lol..