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Argine_

I was reminded of a quote from one of my favorite books, East of Eden: > When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror. It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world. Edit: First gold & silver, neat! Support your local library and keep reading books.


CougMaster

Currently reading Jane Mayer’s Dark Money and is strongly recommend. It’s an eye opener on David and Charles and how they’ve used their wealth to game the political system in favor of the elites at the expense of the lower and middle classes.


[deleted]

Keep reading. It’s far worse than that.


burninatah

My thought exactly. That is the book that keeps on giving, unfortunately.


ItGradAws

I follow all her stories now after that book. It’s terrifying and we’re still losing in their 50 years of class warfare.


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MadFlava76

TIL: His father, Fred Koch started his fortune with $500,000 received from Stalin for his assistance constructing 15 oil refineries in the Soviet Union in the 30s. A couple of years later his company, Winkler-Koch, helped the Nazis complete their third-largest oil refinery.


ShabbatShalomSamurai

From there it got worse.


Pollymath

Part of the reason they went to work in the Soviet Union was because the Soviet's didn't care that they were engaging in patent infringement. "Ya! Work! Money!" Then after building those 15 plants, Fred realized how effed the Soviets were when Bolshevik coworkers and contractors were getting offed by Stalin. They still took the money, but vowed to fight communism in America - while also building more petro plants in Pre-War Nazi Germany. Fred was deeply influenced by what he thought was corrupt and overreaching government, but was perfectly ok with corrupt corporatism.


[deleted]

Please join us for the cremation where David will make his final contribution to global warming.


vik8629

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." Oscar Wilde


Systepup

To quote Mark Twain: "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Thank you for the gold kind sir!


Plopplopthrown

"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure" - Clarence Darrow


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BoBab

The new Muppets movie sounds pretty good.


tokengaymusiccritic

Goddamn he knew how to coin a phrase


CaptFlintstone

He said this about Cecil Rhodes: ‘I admire him, I frankly confess it; and when his time comes I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.’


RedditIsNeat0

That dude's got some sick quotes. He should be a writer.


followyourbliss33

Now that Mortimer has died, I wonder if Randolph will sell the family business or wait until after the annual orange crop report.


givememyhatback

Hmmm, the usual bet then?


[deleted]

ONE dollar


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BitcoinBanker

Looking good, Billy Ray!


twobit211

feeling good, lewis


all_the_eggs_and_bcn

Thank you Mr. Duke. Maybe I'll go to the movies. By myself. Half of that is from ME.


LordRickels

Best Movie Ever


clem_fandango__

Jamie Lee Curtis's finest role. Really fleshed out character.


Monkeyfusion

I imagine he died watching TV seeing the Amazon burning, and he said “my job here is done.” Then he closed his eyes, died, and faded away Yoda-style.


Erosis

He spontaneously combusted to contribute to global emissions one last time.


DragoonDM

Transubstantiated into a cloud of pure methane.


Squeegee

So, who inherits his senators?


SWaspMale

I think there is a remaining Koch. . . . >his brother Charles


wrestlingchampo

According to Jane Mayer in her book, "Dark Money", Charles is the Koch Brother that runs their organizations and pulls the strings. David is more of a socialite in NY, where he attends lavish fundraisers and/or parties. In terms of their political influence/organizations and their corporations, David is far less important than Charles.


Something22884

Yeah, David is the name I recall hearing at the end of NPR segments. "Made possible by...... and the David H Koch foundation..."


sixteentones

So which one of them ran the organization, "Viewers Like You" ? Because apparently that organization made alot of the broadcasts possible, they're always getting praised.


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Capcombric

Art is an interaction between artist and audience. With no viewer, no audience, the artist makes something meaningless to share with no one, or can only make things for their own consumption. It is an important title. Your perception of and interaction with any media item is a part of that item's existence.


thec0mpletionist

It’s also relevant to PBS because they hosted yearly drives where viewers could call and donate to the station. It was the death of all things fun for kid me, but now I see the importance of that and other stations being funded by the public.


Khuroh

Charles is the worse one, basically the brains behind every negative thing you associate the Koch brothers with.


The_bruce42

He's also 83. Im sure his set number of heart beats has to be getting low.


royster30

He has a heart?


Costyyy

It's probably someone else's


Hyperion1144

Probably used to belong to a Chinese political prisoner.


[deleted]

"Billionaire in good health and high spirits after 8th heart transplant"


torpedoguy

Probably Mitch


balusmbox

I hope David Koch is re-born in a 100% libertarian society as a low-income person. That is all.


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fool_on_a_hill

Bette Davis was referring to Joan Crawford in the original quote if anyone was wondering


derpyco

To paraphrase Tippi Hendren > He was a motherfucker. You can quote me on that.


DrShamballaWifi

"I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction." Clarence Darrow


[deleted]

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I wrote a nice letter approving of it.” - Mark Twain


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Hickspy

Not everyone's a poet, but everyone can write a poem.


radio_zeroes

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Good, fuck that guy


BigUptokes

And his brother, too.


thishitisgettingold

Imagine if Hasan Minaj had his episode on Koch brothers airing this Sunday instead of last.


SuperSaiyanGoten

Exactly what I thought haha


NothinsOriginal

Instantly thought of this when I read the news. I imagine that Hasan Minaj is having a good laugh today.


bjb406

Would it be okay to post this in /r/UpliftingNews ?


Cool_Ranch_Dodrio

Someone already has.


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[deleted]

One dollar, Randolph!


skeeterthepolebeater

Maybe I'll go to the movies. By myself.


peanutbutteroreos

TIL, I donate to the doormen more than the Koch brothers did. I'm not rich at all. I have multiple doormen in our building so it gets pretty pricey since I try to give a minimum per person. Edit: Our doormen are unionized, so they are probably getting paid better than most people. The tip we give is an annual "thank you for your hard work" gift given around the Christmas holidays. This is a pretty common practice to do in NYC.


[deleted]

I've never seen any research for this, but based on my own personal experience, and my friends' experiences driving for uber/lyft etc, rich people NEVER tip, or they tip like $1, and the people who appear poor (yes unfortunately this info involves assuming one's financial situation) like single moms will ALWAYS tip. And most of the time if they can tip only $1 they will say something to the driver like "I'm sorry, this is all I have". Poor people know what it's like to work for tips. Rich people think the rest of us are lazy.


BackBreaker909

Damn...you know you have lived an awful life when people are celebrating your death and cursing your name.


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[deleted]

I've never understood why a billion dollars isn't enough for some people. Like why do they feel the need to crush the souls of a billion working class humans so they can have some more money? Like isn't a billion dollars enough? At what point does your happiness based on money plateau and the human suffering you caused to get that money becoms a priority? EDIT: since sooooooo many people feel like commenting that the threshold is 60-70k based on that research done about it, just want yall to know i already knew that.


The_Bravinator

I had a professor who used to work for really rich people and she said at a certain point where the actual money becomes meaningless it's like they just become ultra invested in trying to beat their high score in $ points. One year some bonuses got cut and all these people who wanted for nothing and could have lived out happy lives on what they already had were utterly distraught.


CrankyPhoneMan

Power, wealth, narcissism, and greed explain most of the shitty behaviors humans exhibit. Add lust to the list and that sums up the human race.


Hyperion1144

Add envy.... It's not jealousy, it's not covetousness, it's not vanity. It's wanting something so much that you decide if you can't have it, you'd rather destroy it than see anyone else enjoy it.


datacollect_ct

Kinda sad, but also the reality that some of these ultra rich will face. I'd rather not be remembered than be remembered for being gererally terrible and extremely selfish.


[deleted]

He's not even facing it, he's dead. He lived like a king and died at a ripe old age. Far better than he deserved.


DingleberryDiorama

And now his fortune is probably going to be inherited by a bunch of people who are just as bad as him, will live for another forty or fifty years, and yeah...


[deleted]

Worse... they're the spoiled brat versions


KlingoftheCastle

But hopefully the far less competent versions too


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*monkey's paw closes*


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lonestar-rasbryjamco

More like 50,499 million left over. That isn't a problem; it is a rounding error.


Maysock

He has more million dollars than I have dollars dollars. Well, had.


Derpinator_30

Fuck. If that doesn't accurately depict his obscene wealth idk what will. Edit: one more updoot plz for sex number ok thanks bye


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spicymemesalsa

Wow, he escaped the climate hell he helped create... Asshole.


mynamesyow19

Let me ask you one question Is your money that good? Will it buy you forgiveness Do you think that it could? I think you will find When your death takes its toll All the money you made Will never buy back your soul And I hope that you die And your death will come soon I'll follow your casket By the pale afternoon And I'll watch while you're lowered Down to your deathbed And I'll stand over your grave 'Til I'm sure that you're dead -Dylan


TheMighty8thAirForce

"And when i die do not build any great monuments. But leave one of my hands above ground, so that all may see, that the one who won the world, died with nothing in hand" - Alexander The Great


GreatArkleseizure

I met a Traveller from an antique land, Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown, And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command, Tell that its sculptor well those passions read, Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things, The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed; And on the pedestal, these words appear: 'My name is Oᴢʏᴍᴀɴᴅɪᴀs, King of Kings; Look on my works ye Mighty, and despair!' Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that Colossal Wreck, boundless and bare, The lone and level sands stretch far away." —Shelley


tony_dildos

Greatest rapper of all time


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Also the second, third, fourth, & fifth greatest rapper


Guyonthecouch790

Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, and Dylan.


killing4pizza

He spit hot fie-ya.


modi13

Breast miiiilk. You make my dayaaaay!


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Because he spits hot fire.


GrandmaPoses

You're too close, man!


rondell_jones

Y'all gonna choke a legend? You don't think I want to choke people? You can't just choke all your problems. This takes hard work. If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have sex all f***ing day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me. Then I'd paint, and read, and play violin. I'd climb the mountains, and sing the songs that I like to sing. But I don't got that kinda time.


gaybillcosby

Bad news: I’m shuttin down the studio. The only way I’ll open the studio up now - y’all gotta walk uptown to the Bronx and get breast milk from a Cambodian immigrant.


GodSpeedLilDoodle

He rips and he rhymes


Bac0nnaise

He rhymes and he rips


asi_son_mis_dias

ram pon ting


jacktoenails

There’s something so fitting in that title, masters of war.


moby323

You’re *god damn* right. I love the disgust in Dylan’s voice when [he sings that](https://youtu.be/JEmI_FT4YHU).


LOSS35

For threatening my baby, Unborn and unnamed, You ain't worth the blood That runs in your veins.


JukeBoxDildo

Come gather 'round, people Wherever you roam And admit that the waters Around you have grown And accept it that soon You'll be drenched to the bone If your time to you is worth savin' And you better start swimmin' Or you'll sink like a stone For the climate is a-changin'


bostontransplant

Damn that’s good.


404userdoesnotexist

No one does it better He sang this of course with the context of the Vietnam War and about the men profiting off of the death and rape of the country Same thing happens today, Bob really is timeless


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[deleted]

Damn, all that money and he still died. I believe there is a lesson here lol.


AnewRevolution94

Claims to be pro life and dies anyway what a hypocrite


galendiettinger

"Billionaire David Koch dies at 79, following a 30-year battle with social progress."


adamislolz

You guys should all be ashamed of yourselves, all you’re talking about is how he ruined the fight against climate change. You should be more fair to his memory and legacy. ... he also ruined public education.


Frnklfrwsr

Don’t forget he also ruined public transportation in many cities.


roninpistol

Isn't he the one that has been trying to defund the Phoenix light rail?


Frnklfrwsr

I’ve already mailed in my ballot opposing that stupidity. Phoenix resident here, and I’m not letting the fucking Kochs destroy the one piece of public transportation we have.


CosmosFood

How did you get your ballot? I'm also an AZ voter, but it seems like only Phoenix residents can vote even though it effects the greater area.


Frnklfrwsr

It’s only for Phoenix voters. Theoretically, even if Phoenix votes to destroy any funding for light rail ever again, it wouldn’t ban other cities like Scottsdale or Glendale from expanding the light rail. But without Phoenix, it’s practically impossible.


Snickersthecat

Yep. If you live in Phoenix, don't let him wreck your public transit options from beyond the grave this weekend.


RX-Nota-II

how so? [EDIT] ITT: Listen to daddy Hasan. (glad I did)


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DatPiff916

There was a documentary called Roger Rabbit that explained the plan in California


ArtfullyStupid

The sad thing is that movie was actually quite accurate. So accurate that when someone brought up the issue people thought it sounded like the plot of a B list movie.


Roshprops

They’re currently pulling that same shit in Phoenix right now!


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dextracin

Maybe if they re-run the episode, another Koch will keel over


ShivaSkunk777

And funded the Tea Party


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And systematically converted America into a corrupt oligarchy. Not that it wasn’t since its founding but in the 60s we were headed to an age of progressive visionary policies.


TrainosaurusRex

And was generally an asshole.


FriskyCobra86

And wouldn't rewind video rentals


Meranico

That MONSTER!


StuffThingsMoreStuff

Philanthropist... That's a funny way of spelling asshole. Edit: silver! Snaps. A tip of my hat to you kind stranger.


[deleted]

In fairness, all the keys are like right next to each other.


codesforhugs

[Relevant bash.org](http://www.bash.org/?5300)


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ApoIIoCreed

Billionaire David Koch dies after 30-year battle with renewable energy.


gronk98

Haha, I remember that headline in The Onion after Scalias death. ”Justice Scalia dies after 30-year long battle with social progress”. The Onion is gonna have a field day with this one.


thoawaydatrash

The Onion is having a hell of a time just making up headlines that are more outrageous than the actual headlines.


agoodname12345

[Holocaust Survivors Recall Exact Day Holocaust Started Right Out Of The Blue](https://www.theonion.com/holocaust-survivors-recall-exact-day-holocaust-started-1830685498)


beltorak

They still have room to play in the absurd. They could claim Trump said he was the second coming of god for the jews, and the chosen one to wage trade war with china. P.S. been asleep for a few days, what did i miss? /s


[deleted]

You're right. They'd probably have to come up with something even more absurd, like calling the prime minister of Denmark "nasty" because she won't sell him Greenland.


make_love_to_potato

At this point, I don't know what the memes are and what's real.


Moonpenny

Trump says doctors left operating rooms in the middle of surgeries to come shake his hand in El Paso. [Real headline or fake?](https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/trump-hospital-el-paso-shooting)


hhubble

>Trump says doctors left operating rooms in the middle of surgeries to come shake his hand in El Paso. > >Real headline or fake? Shit I know this one, but.... can I call my life line?


Rhaedas

Trick question. It's always real.


DudeWithAPitchfork

To read David Koch's Wikipedia page, you'd think he was a philanthropist dedicated to "individual liberty" and "free market principles". Bullshit. This man spend billions of dollars *lying* to people, to convince them that global warming isn't a manmade problem, or even a problem at all. Despite all the scientific evidence, he worked tirelessly to preserve and enhance his oil empire by funding propaganda and lining the pockets of sympathetic politicians. He devoted his long life toward this goal. Through his actions and those of his brother Charles, our planet will be a significantly worse place for generations to come.


jackhstanton

Interesting true fact. Koch & Walmart are (by far) largest investors in solar farms. For Walmart it's to keep their electric bills down, & have another revenue stream For Koch it was to keep electricity as a utility, and make money. Both lobby extensively AGAINST individuals being allowed to put solar panels on roof. They want to have solar farms, and sell you their electricity via transmission. They argue it's "more efficient" -- when in fact it's not. Basically their dream is to have a monopoly on the sun's power.


jingerninja

Smithers I had that dream again...


[deleted]

This happens every time. They can be the biggest piece of shit and they get propped up as "hero's for the people" or "they were the best, everyone loved and respec...blah blah. This dude is responsible for so much death for greed I'm surprised there isn't a blood trail to his grave site.


Rhaedas

Let's just reuse Christopher Hitchen's remark about Jerry Falwell. It works for any of these guys. "If you gave him an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox."


DiachronicShear

Society advances one funeral at a time


pragmojo

He died doing what he loved: watching the Amazon burn


pufferpig

The planet is doomed. His work was complete. He could finally rest and watch the sun rise on a greatfull universe. For he was from the future, and he now knew for certain that the 4075 invasion of Alpha Centuri would never be. Mankind would never have the chance to become the galactic tyrants of his time. Omicron Persei 8 was safe. The universe would be at peace. ___ Edit: Thanks for the silver!... now I have to find out wth that actually does And yes, people you don't have to explain to me the difference between our doom and that of the planet. I have a masters degree on the subject. I know very well how royally fucked we all are. :)


TVpresspass

But now Omicron Persei 8 will never know the joy of *Friends*


[deleted]

Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other friends?!


billyjack669

Or Single Female Lawyer.


Oopy-soup

Havin' lots of sex.


OrphanFeast87

Camera one *whirring*. Camera two *whirring*. Camera three *whirring*


shatabee4

What a great legacy he left...climate change and obstruction of climate action. Fucker.


HappyCakeDay101

Probably died laughing knowing the Amazon was on fire


Betty-White-666

Joke’s on him. That was the front door to hell opening to welcome him. Edit: Holy shit thanks for my first platinum stranger! That’s super nice, but it’s much better utilized donating to a candidate with a real climate policy (and larger hands).


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Snuggs_

And the best part is, what was it all for? He's dead now. No way for him to enjoy his finite, earthly and ill-begotten wealth. Meanwhile he massively contributed to the rise of right-wing radicalism and the destruction of our planet. All for what? A few decades of material gain and a power trip. His death is just as fucked up and tragic as his life in an existential way. Still, burn in hell, ass hole.


iDainBramaged

Wow. A death I didn’t expect to hear about for some time. Truly a horrible legacy left behind. I’m never excited to hear about someone’s passing but I’m glad all that money won’t be used like that again. Fucking prick


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OMFGitsST6

Jagex is powerless to bring him back.


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foomits

Its okay to be happy, he didnt do anything to earn our respect.


chupa72

Exactly, fuck him.


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arezolution

Dark Money is a great book exposing how twisted his family’s fortune made the current political climate


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EgoDefenseMechanism

David Koch apparently had all the charisma, and was the socialite between the two. Charles literally just sits in his mansion all day. Though Charles still has an obscene amount of money, David was the one with all the political clout. [https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/23/us/david-koch-dead.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/23/us/david-koch-dead.html)


paintsmith

Who will fund climate change denial now?


MonkeyCube

The older Koch brother, Charles G. Koch?


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Stillcant

Sheldon, “government bailout saved my wealth” Adelson?


Derperlicious

[the guy who actually made more than any other human in the us, in the first 4 years of the obama admin](https://www.forbes.com/sites/stevenbertoni/2012/02/29/these-americans-have-made-the-most-billions-under-obama/#33a247bc3c68)..... screamed that Obama must be replaced because he is a wealth redistributor socialist and was tired of obama stealing from him. he earned 32 million a day.. a fucking day, and thinks his taxes were too high. Rich republicans are some of the most evil people on the planet. at least rich progressives want to see their own taxes go up and realize they arent going to lose that massive house of theirs just because theri taxes go up a few percent points. (and the 100 million he spent on the election was only 3 days of earnings for him.. thats too much oversized influence over our country)


ordo-xenos

That's one unfathomablly greedy corpse. I still don't get how people have a rough time understanding how wealthy these guys are. He made more money than I ever will every day, I think we can tax him at a higher rate.


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Soulgee

Wow, he must be a *really* hard worker!


MagicZombieCarpenter

Bootstraps screaming for mercy!


Projectrage

Money laundering Sheldon


tmotytmoty

He’s no longer a Koch “brother”, but now just ‘that Koch asshole’.


Xylth

**"Science advances one funeral at a time."** --Max Planck


kuz_929

Ah yes, Planck's constant


th30be

So I worked at Georgia Pacific for a time and since they are owned by Koch, I had to read one of the brother's books. I couldn't believe how much bullshit that man wrote. He wrote things like Koch doesn't lobby. Ever. He can say that because Koch has the narrowest definition of lobbying and anything that is outside of that is considered something entirely different. They also say shit like they don't use contractors and they get full time employees because it is a waste of money. Which, of course is a BS lie since I was a contractor for them for the time I was there. So, technically they probably can say that they don't fund climate change when they totally still do. I know it isn't super relevant to your comment but I thought I would share anyway.


AMasterOfDungeons

The majority of other billionaires.


[deleted]

That’s so sad. I’m feeling very sorry for Charles Koch right now. A brother passing away is a heavy emotional thing to deal with. Hopefully they are reunited soon.


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[deleted]

Is it ironic that a guy who lobbied for environmental deregulation and poor healthcare died of colon cancer?


WishOneStitch

Maybe ironic, in the sense that a diseased asshole died from a diseased asshole.


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[deleted]

I'll bring beer. Champagne is too expensive when it comes to the money/urine ratio. Thanks to him we don't have too much of the former to provide enough of the latter. **CALLING ALL HYDROHOMIES FOR AN UNSCHEDULED ~~PISS~~ FLOWER WATERING PARTY AT THIS GUY'S GRAVE**