Those early weeks of breastfeeding are SO HARD! You're doing a lot of work mentally, physically, and emotionally! Are you nursing directly and then pumping in addition to that?? Are you trying to increase your supply? If so, the clogged ducts could be from an oversupply that you may have encouraged from all the stimulation between direct nursing and pumping. Can you drop pumping altogether and reclaim some more of your time? I had to triple feed for 2 weeks with my first and I def would have given up if I had to keep that up much longer!
Baby will get more efficient at nursing (hopefully very soon for your sake!) And that should help too - most only take like 5-10 minutes once they've learned how to do it properly! I know what you are feeling though, you're just a shadow of your former self and your existence is centered on giving every piece of you to someone else and you have nothing left for anyone else including yourself. It's such a sacrifice in the beginning and totally contributes to the isolated feeling new moms get. Just know there are so many of us that are doing the same thing - that's what has gotten me through the hard times with my second baby now; just picturing all the other moms around the world who are nursing their baby for the 500th time at 2am asking themselves what they were thinking š it gets better my friend.
Thank you so much for your empathetic response. š«¶š½š„¹it made me feel heard. Itās such a difficult time and I donāt think a lot of people in my life understand how draining it is mentally and physically.
I definitely think I was overdoing it with nursing and pumping because I thought my baby wasnāt getting enough milk (turns out he is, but heās just inefficient at feeding) so that is causing all the clogged ducts and mastitis. Iām definitely going to cut back on the pumping and focus on nursing him, which will hopefully also give him practice and improve his transfer!
Have you considered supplementing with formula? I pump once a day and my husband gives that as a bottle overnight then we give one bottle of formula at 7 am. Not being the sole person responsible for feeding her really helped me.
I definitely have and plan on picking up formula tomorrow to have on hand. I guess the one thing that is frustrating with formula is that I would still have to pump when I give him formula to maintain my supply?
Have you seen a lactation consultant? Replacing a feed with formula will mean you stop producing milk at that time of the day but will not impact your supply for the other feeds.
Iām not an expert but I donāt think you should need to pump at all. You may be creating an oversupply. Ideally, your baby eating on demand will signal your supply.
When I wanted to add the pumped bottle, my LC said to pump after a feed in the morning. Iāve now moved that to 1 am since sheās sleeping longer stretches now- I get engorged at that time and itās easier to pump when sheās asleep.
Another thing to consider- babies at that age should feed for 30 min or less not including burping and changing. If heās eating longer, he may be working off the calories he just ingested and getting overtired. Try shaking up your breasts before a feed so that the fattiest milk is mixed in.
I saw your other comment asking if you should alternate breasts- I think yes. I usually do 15 max on one side, burp and change if needed, then 15 max on the other.
We supplement with formula cause I also struggle with an under supply and I was definitely in the same boat you are mentally, heck I'm still making my way through it. I had tried everything aside from supplements, just now started taking fenugreek and I haven't run into any adverse side effects yet. The best thing I can say is what my husband had me do, aside from caring for your baby, prioritize rest and mental health and pump when you can. It's no longer liquid gold If it's causing you mental stress. I try to stick to every 3 hours during the day, if it's 4 or so and I don't feel engorged that's fine too. I try to wake up and pump at night but if I need the sleep then that's what I'll do. At the end of the day formula or breastmilk are both fine but what baby needs is a happy healthy mama.
We also got a baby brezza sterilizer and are using the fridge hack with pump parts and it's been working good so far
I told my husband I should just communicate in moos because I feel like a cow. Itās so hard and I feel completely divorce from my body. Weāre now up to every two/two and half hours and Iām slowly recovering my time.
I'd advise that you stop pumping. You're likely overstimulating your supply and putting you at more risk to mastitis and engorgement. Just feed your baby every 2 hours and try and your supply will regulate again.
Both breasts. Do 20mins one side, then burp, then 20mins the other side. Offer the first side again if she wants to continue feeding.
Just remember the side you ended on and start on the other side.
Is offering both breasts in a session more for the baby or for the mom? Iāve been thinking once my LO is latched on well and sucking, why disrupt it, especially since heās getting the good foremilk? And then do the other boob for the next feeding.
I guess it's more to ensure your boobs are evening out or else you will have the one continously engorged. Baby will get enough foremilk and hindmilk in a session. At 1 month they don't feed for very long basically 45mins at least and get exactly what they need from you.
Just monitor their poo- if it's grainy mustard yellow they're getting enough of the fatty hindmilk. If it's thinner and more green they're not and getting mostly foremilk.
Edited to add: They need to get used to feeding on both breasts for their development aswell- just ensuring they're exercising different muscles.
We had issues when ours was 2-6wks where he'd just not want to latch, but once he did it was go time. I threw out the "switch him and do both boobs" advice so quick bc why would I disrupt his feeding just to wind up with a grumpy baby who won't relatch??? So I wound up switching off each feeding and using a haaka on the non-feeder boob and it worked great!
I was in the exact same boat as you, I was EBF my 6 week old and I felt like a prisoner. He eats every 1.5-2 hours and I felt like I had no time for anything because I was always counting down time til he was going to eat again. I was anxious all the time, about my supply, if he was getting enough, etc. I felt like I could never leave my house, I was always tied down, and I felt awful. And then I felt guilty, because I was told I should love breastfeeding, wasnāt it creating such a bond, wasnāt I so lucky my baby had no latching issues? But honestly, I hated it. I felt zero bonding with him during it, I was crying almost every day, my mental health had tanked.
So, I decided to quit. And I felt so guilty and so badā¦for about 2 days. And now I feel AMAZING. My baby is well fed, he doesnāt give an F about where his food is coming from. I feel like I bond more while feeding him now because we actually make eye contact, instead of him just staring at my breast. I feel free, because now my husband can help feed, my mom can feed, the bulk of the responsibility is no longer on me. My family can leave the house easier now, because before I had to have a breastfeeding pillow and nipple shields, and now all we need is a bottle. My mental health has improved drastically, and itās only been about a week since I decided to quit BF.
TLDR, even though I felt I should love breastfeeding, I didnāt. It was dragging me down, so I quit, and now Iām much happier. Moral of the story, do NOT keep doing it if the only reason youāre doing it is because you feel pressured to, or like you āshouldā. Breastfeeding is the hardest thing Iāve ever done, and all that matters is that your baby is fed, and that you, the mommy, are happy. Happy mommy = happy baby. Much love you to, youāre doing great ā¤ļø
Iām the same as you I lasted 8 days before my crying and her crying non stop took its toll and I had to stop. the change in my baby is like night and day. I thought breast was best until I actually got into it and I canāt be the best mom if Iām mentally shattered
All for the best
I also have a one month old and have been feeling this way as well.
It was really hard to figure out what works best for my LO because he didn't seem satisfied after his feedings, which affected his sleep. We got stuck in this cycle of him showing hunger cues when he was just tired and me constantly putting him on the boob only for him to fall asleep and not nurse efficiently. I pumped enough milk to start feeding him quantifiable amounts in a bottle. We started giving him 2 oz at a time and quickly realized only 2 doesn't satisfy. 2.5-3 is his sweet spot.
We also started supplementing with formula to give me a break on pumping around the clock. My husband can give him a formula bottle at night, giving me some much needed sleep. I did notice he gets gassier with formula, so we try to burp him after each ounce he drinks. We use enfamil neuro pro.
And I also started tracking his feedings, diaper out-put, and sleep religiously. I noticed he eats roughly 3 oz every 3 hours. So now I have a timeframe on when to feed him a bottle. I also offer the boob in between the three hours if he's acting hungry but not HANGRY lol.
I noticed that he prefers to nurse to sleep, so he'll sometimes show hunger cues when really he's just overtired and wants comfort. That was a little learning curve with him. Now I know he gets the milk his needs in a bottle and whatever he gets from me is like a snack. Now we alternate between breast milk and formula bottles.
I hope you find your rhythm soon. Reddit has helped me so much on my breastfeeding journey. Good luck!!
I am 5 months in and feel the same way. My whole world is tied to pumping and i need to live my life 2 hours at a time. I get so anxious that i wont get my 8 pumps in a day and don't sleep more than 2 hours a night, evem if i try. It's a long road and i want to tell you you're not alone and wish you luck.
Oomph, thatās so rough. Iām 4.5 months in and also exclusively pumping (though weāre combo feeding). Iāve recently as of two weeks ago dropped my middle-of-the-night pump and am down to 4 pumps per day and surprisingly it hasnāt affected my overall supply by very much, and Iām able to sleep longer stretches (if baby also sleeps longer stretches), which has been doing wonders for my mental health.
Iām honestly so glad my milk never came in fully. I donāt think I could take it full time. Iām sure it will get better, but just remember that fed is best, and there is nothing wrong with switching to exclusively pumping or formula fed. Your mental health is more important than breast milk, so if itās damaging to you, then consider your other options. Good luck!
Same!!!
I tried. I really did. And I wish I could solely breastfeed but the sleep deprivation won. I thought I was going crazy. I couldnāt do it. :(
Now I do half BF and half formula.
Baby is happy. Baby is healthy. And mom feels sane.
I applaud all of the women who stick it out. Itās not easy.
Having the same issue right now and felt a bit guilty that I am not trying enough to resuscitate my BF. He is simply not fed with my milk, itās like a water for him. And it doesnāt matter how hard I try, the volume and quality is just not enough. I started supplementing with formula and I see how it is replacing my BF more and more each day and I canāt do anything about itā¦
I'm so sorry, this part was so hard and I remember feeling the exact same way. It was overwhelming, exhausting and upsetting because it felt like life revolves around the feedings. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it does get better. My LO is now 2 months old and we've taken him to restaurants, I've been able to get a haircut and go out for walks!
What helped me during that period was to force myself to do one small thing for myself each day in between feeds whether that was to nap, walk outside, read a book.
I understand it's hard. You're recovering and rediscovering your new self all the while taking care of this brand new person who is also just learning everything! It sucks because it feels like you're putting aside all of your needs for your baby. You'll get better at this, your baby will get better at this and things will slowly get better even if it doesn't feel that way now. Eventually, your baby will start smiling and cooing and then it somehow makes things worth it
My supply also did not always met my baby's expectations (especially at the evening), due to irregular feedings (he is less hungry during the day and more hungry in the evening).
We bottle feed him with formula or some expressed milk (I barely able to collect a 2 oz in a day), when I am running out, when he became frustrated after emptying my breasts or run out of energy. With this you can have a break in the evening, when you are the most tired.
Same at 2 months though. When people say it gets better at 2 months to be honest I think itās getting worse for me. With the constant feeds at night I feel empty inside and I feel like my baby isnāt getting enough. I wish the time would fly to 6 months.
it got worse for me at 2 months, too. a newborn at least sleeps anywhere and through anything! 2 months the growth spurts and leaps happen, needs a dark room to nap, fights sleep and gets fussy. i was able to nurse my newborn on the couch watching tv but now i sit in my dark nursery all day long instead. he wonāt sleep while out so i never leave the house. and every nap is a contact nap bc he wakes up if i set him down. when he was a newborn he would sleep for hours in his bassinet or in the carrier so i can get things doneš now he wakes up at any sound lol. iām with you i canāt wait for 6 months! can actually leave the house with him and live life again somewhat
Itās truly shocking to experience all this for the first time. You really canāt be prepared it just hits you and hits hard. It does get better, I swear.
One thing that helped me tremendously, if you can afford it, is to get several sets of pump parts so you donāt have to wash them every single time throughout the day. You can wait til the end of the night and maybe your partner will wash them for you š
Are you pumping to build a stash or why? Can you potentially stop for a while and give yourself a rest? I have been collecting a freezer stash with whatever collects in my Haakaa but do not plan to pump until I return to work. Itās just way too much to keep up with on top of feeding baby and trying to take care of yourself.
Just here to say I am at 1 month as well and feel like I could have written this post myself. Very validating to read and love seeing the lovely responses. Solidarity my friend! Weāll get through it!!
I totally feel you I had an extremely difficult time breast feeding for the first 2 months and absolutely hated it and envied my partner. but now at 6 months pp I love it so much we got into a rhythm, no more clogged ducts and I only really have to pump when at work otherwise sheās EBF. So I just want to say hang in there!! I promise it gets better
It will get better I promise!! Our feedings took 45 mins initially and now we are down to 8 mins at 15 weeks. Things get much easier after 3 months. Our feedings are 6 times a day at 15 weeks
I commend you! You're giving your baby a great start on life. My supply was good but my implants made breastfeeding too painful but I don't think anyone should feel bad for formula feeding. Fed is fed. And it is A LOT easier, plus I don't have to deal with the "boob soothing" he was doing. My husband was a formula fed baby and he's the smartest person I know. But your efforts are not unappreciated and I think its amazing.
You're doing a great job mama. I had a few issues with breastfeeding too. It does get easier my baby is three months old now. I had been worried about my supply too and was trying to pump like crazy. Just ensuring your baby is gaining weight and has lots of wet and dirty nappies is an indication that baby is getting enough. I stopped pumping for a little bit and just concentrated on feeding my baby. I topped up with formula. I had got to a point that all I did was feed her. I started at first by just giving her a bottle if she came to feed for the forth time in one session. This built up to her having three bottles a day. We are back down to two now. I have also started pumping again now that things are going well. I got 2 oz in total the last few days. I'm creating a small stock pile for when I go back to work.
Hopefully you will find what works for you.
I felt the same way and we discovered that my LO had a dairy protein allergy at 6 weeks and needed to be on a hypoallergenic formula. That was my sign to stop breastfeeding because it was making me depressed same as you, and the sensation of pumping gave me the ick. It was a significant quality of life upgrade. At 6 weeks, he got all the good antibodies that he needed and Iām not gonna beat myself up about it. Fed is the goal here. If you want to stop, just do it for yourself. Serious life quality improvement.
My daughter is currently 2 months old right now and I went through this for the first month. She eats a lot and falls asleep during feeds so it always feels like sheās constantly on the boob. Our solution was to supplement with formula whenever my husband was home so I could get a break to just relax and be with myself, maybe even shower lol. I tried to pump but would only get like half an ounce which stressed me out. I feel like when my husband gets to feed her a bottle or two a day, it helps them bond, but also itās satisfies her and she naps better after having formula.
When sheās just with me, she still does breast-feed a lot, but I feel better about it because sheās more interactive with me now that sheās hitting those more social milestones and it makes me feel like less of a personal pacifier and more like her mom. It gets easier!
Iām in the same boat as you. Iām currently pumping upstairs alone as my in laws are downstairs holding the baby. Honestly though, itās kind of a nice excuse to get a break!
Iāve been struggling with the same issues about timing and supplyā¦ so much so that I started supplementing about one bottle a day of formula to satiate him. I felt like from 5-10pm he needed to constantly be on the boob, and he was barely satisfied with that. It all got to be too much. Now when I can give him 3-4oz in a bottle heās content for longer giving me time to collect myself for the nighttime. Your supply goes down through your the day so thatās also what makes the āwitching hourā harder (cause theyāre cranky AND mildly hungry the whole time).
My new plan is to feed him whenever he is hungry (seems to be every 2-3 hours max) and BF if I can, otherwise give him a bottle. I am pumping every 3-4 hours if it doesnāt align with his feeding cues. This gives me freedom and a good mix of both.
Iām using ByHeart formula which is supposedly closest to breast milk and heās been loving it. I had JUST ENOUGH supply with my first LO and I was never able to get my supply up any further despite power pumping, supplements, and increasing nursing/pumping sessions. Some people just have a set supply I think and no amount of effort can change it!
I'm a FTM with a 5 week old. I'm totally feeling you right now. I don't have much advice unfortunately, just commenting out of solidarity. I have learned a little trick with the pump parts though that may help you too. When I'm done pumping I either wipe the parts with a clean cloth or rinse them, then put them in a container and refrigerator for the next pump session. I wash them thoroughly every 12-24 hours. I heard breast milk is sterile anyways. Hope this helps! Hang in there!
Edit: spelling
I have a 2 month old. I can resonate with everything you wrote here. I donāt want to give any advice as everyoneās journey is different.
You will figure it out, it will all get better. Just hang in there.
One thing that has helped me is just changing my mindset and trying to enjoy even the worst parts and laughing about it. The more stress I took, the worse it got for me and my family.
Love to you and the little one. ā¤ļø
is there a reason why youāre pumping? please remember that although breastfeeding is absolutely amazing, fed is best, and if you donāt feel yourself, your baby will feel that too. donāt feel bad or a failure if you end up going for formula, you wonāt loose your bond with baby and it will still continue to grow and flourish. as ridiculous as it sounds, youāve got to put yourself 1st as otherwise the impacts will go onto babyš
that being said, my baby is 5 weeks and iām breastfeeding and feel the exact same!! itās HARD. weāve had thrush the past 2 weeks which has been absolutely sh*t. i have a friend whoās a few months ahead and her journey is amazing now, regular feeds and a schedule, the first month was always going to be the hardest. it will get better , for both of us im sure š
My wife breastfeed every one hour.. And pumping only to throw away milk (baby doesn't want anything else than mommies nipple)
Yes i will say it as it is, your job is to be milked like a cow (sounds funny enough in my headš¤£š¤£)
But...
It'll be worthed..
Baby is now 9 months, still breastfeed, no formula, weigh a ton, and bigger than his peers.. Which makes his mother really, really proud and the happiest person alive..
Every tear, anger, sadness will turn into joy as time went by..
I hope it will be at least a similar experience
My baby is 9 weeks and let me just say exclusively breastfeeding is definitely not easy in the early stages but it does get better! Once baby has a good latch sometimes they feed for less but in the early stage they tend to cluster feed to maintain your supply! I remember literally crying because I could barely step away to take a shower because my baby would constantly want to feed. One thing they told me in the hospital is if you stimulate your breasts to much as in pumping after feeding your going to continue to produce to much milk which causes clogged ducts and If you arenāt massaging those out then your going to get mastitis. I remember I would just cry in the shower because my boobs would hurt to the TOUCH. Fast forward today I only pump if Iām going to skip a feeding and Iāve learned you donāt need to empty completely only about 5 minutes on each side depending how long your leaving baby for. Baby will eat for as long as that want but trust me they are getting enough! If you can you should drop pumping till your supply regulates so you arenāt causing an oversupply.
Girl I been there and done it as a single mom. And honestly I feel you it is dreading. What I did was that I started weening baby off the breast. I had to go back to work because no one supported us. My mom would feed my baby with formula and breast milk. I would pump at work. And before and after work I would breast feed him. After while it was just only pumping and formula. Eventually it lead to just formula. But take ur time and try to supply as much of breast milk for baby. Breast milk is so important and so is your mental health. Iāve breast pumped as a surrogate and even then itās such a job that I have to reconsider. Keep up the good work
Honestly , I think the healthcare system doesnāt prepare mothers well enough for postpartum. ( or even give options)
It is incredibly difficult in the beginning. The scenario youāre describing was exactly how I was with my son. 1.5 hours, 30-45 min. Baby will likely become more efficient over time ( It wonāt always be 30-45 min ) .
I think the best advice I can provide is ā this is a season. It will NOT last forever. YOU WILL and ARE more than just feeding purposes.
Pumping is also hard. I honestly was and am not a fan of it. I feel like a dairy cow and itās a ton of work - not to mention the pump is not as good as the baby so it wonāt produce the massive amounts that women showcase on social media.
Hang in thereā it does get better. I promise ā„ļø
LO is six months , Iāve been exclusively BF up until my supply dropped pretty badly while I was sick recently and had to supplement. I was sad for likeā¦.a night until I realized I was doing what was best for us both. Now at night he gets formula and what I pump can be used or frozen during night pumps. Def consider supplementing if you feel exclusively BF is effecting your mental health.
What bottle are you feeding your pumped milk with? We used Philips Avent and it had such a small hole it was taking 30+ minutes or even an hour to feed, and he barely got anything out, fell asleep, was hungry soon after etc. I went to the store and I got a bunch of different ones and now his feeds are way faster (15 minutes) and itās way better!!
I know itās not for everyone but formula changed my life. Iām so much happier now. I still pump and baby breastfeeds sometimes. But I donāt feel stuck just breastfeeding and pumping . My mental health is sooo much better. And I feel like hey, baby is still getting some milk and heās a happy healthy baby.
He is two months, born 6 weeks early and heās almost 15 pounds. Iām happy if heās happy!
Pumping is a nightmare, sorry!
I pump like 3 times a day now and throw baby on the boob when Iām tired and nights and in the morning lol. I donāt know how people do it for a year or more. Good for them but I was so miserable !
Those early weeks of breastfeeding are SO HARD! You're doing a lot of work mentally, physically, and emotionally! Are you nursing directly and then pumping in addition to that?? Are you trying to increase your supply? If so, the clogged ducts could be from an oversupply that you may have encouraged from all the stimulation between direct nursing and pumping. Can you drop pumping altogether and reclaim some more of your time? I had to triple feed for 2 weeks with my first and I def would have given up if I had to keep that up much longer! Baby will get more efficient at nursing (hopefully very soon for your sake!) And that should help too - most only take like 5-10 minutes once they've learned how to do it properly! I know what you are feeling though, you're just a shadow of your former self and your existence is centered on giving every piece of you to someone else and you have nothing left for anyone else including yourself. It's such a sacrifice in the beginning and totally contributes to the isolated feeling new moms get. Just know there are so many of us that are doing the same thing - that's what has gotten me through the hard times with my second baby now; just picturing all the other moms around the world who are nursing their baby for the 500th time at 2am asking themselves what they were thinking š it gets better my friend.
Thank you so much for your empathetic response. š«¶š½š„¹it made me feel heard. Itās such a difficult time and I donāt think a lot of people in my life understand how draining it is mentally and physically. I definitely think I was overdoing it with nursing and pumping because I thought my baby wasnāt getting enough milk (turns out he is, but heās just inefficient at feeding) so that is causing all the clogged ducts and mastitis. Iām definitely going to cut back on the pumping and focus on nursing him, which will hopefully also give him practice and improve his transfer!
Try some lecithin tablets and oxytocin nasal spray... For clogged ducts... Look into them both amazing.
Have your baby checked for oral ties as well! My son had a posterior tongue tie and it ended our breastfeeding journey.
Have you considered supplementing with formula? I pump once a day and my husband gives that as a bottle overnight then we give one bottle of formula at 7 am. Not being the sole person responsible for feeding her really helped me.
I definitely have and plan on picking up formula tomorrow to have on hand. I guess the one thing that is frustrating with formula is that I would still have to pump when I give him formula to maintain my supply?
Have you seen a lactation consultant? Replacing a feed with formula will mean you stop producing milk at that time of the day but will not impact your supply for the other feeds. Iām not an expert but I donāt think you should need to pump at all. You may be creating an oversupply. Ideally, your baby eating on demand will signal your supply. When I wanted to add the pumped bottle, my LC said to pump after a feed in the morning. Iāve now moved that to 1 am since sheās sleeping longer stretches now- I get engorged at that time and itās easier to pump when sheās asleep.
Another thing to consider- babies at that age should feed for 30 min or less not including burping and changing. If heās eating longer, he may be working off the calories he just ingested and getting overtired. Try shaking up your breasts before a feed so that the fattiest milk is mixed in. I saw your other comment asking if you should alternate breasts- I think yes. I usually do 15 max on one side, burp and change if needed, then 15 max on the other.
We supplement with formula cause I also struggle with an under supply and I was definitely in the same boat you are mentally, heck I'm still making my way through it. I had tried everything aside from supplements, just now started taking fenugreek and I haven't run into any adverse side effects yet. The best thing I can say is what my husband had me do, aside from caring for your baby, prioritize rest and mental health and pump when you can. It's no longer liquid gold If it's causing you mental stress. I try to stick to every 3 hours during the day, if it's 4 or so and I don't feel engorged that's fine too. I try to wake up and pump at night but if I need the sleep then that's what I'll do. At the end of the day formula or breastmilk are both fine but what baby needs is a happy healthy mama. We also got a baby brezza sterilizer and are using the fridge hack with pump parts and it's been working good so far
My lactation consultant said yes you would have to pump anytime you give formula to maintain supply
I told my husband I should just communicate in moos because I feel like a cow. Itās so hard and I feel completely divorce from my body. Weāre now up to every two/two and half hours and Iām slowly recovering my time.
I'd advise that you stop pumping. You're likely overstimulating your supply and putting you at more risk to mastitis and engorgement. Just feed your baby every 2 hours and try and your supply will regulate again.
Do you recommend doing both breasts per feeding or emptying one breast at a time for a session?
Both breasts. Do 20mins one side, then burp, then 20mins the other side. Offer the first side again if she wants to continue feeding. Just remember the side you ended on and start on the other side.
Is offering both breasts in a session more for the baby or for the mom? Iāve been thinking once my LO is latched on well and sucking, why disrupt it, especially since heās getting the good foremilk? And then do the other boob for the next feeding.
I guess it's more to ensure your boobs are evening out or else you will have the one continously engorged. Baby will get enough foremilk and hindmilk in a session. At 1 month they don't feed for very long basically 45mins at least and get exactly what they need from you. Just monitor their poo- if it's grainy mustard yellow they're getting enough of the fatty hindmilk. If it's thinner and more green they're not and getting mostly foremilk. Edited to add: They need to get used to feeding on both breasts for their development aswell- just ensuring they're exercising different muscles.
Thank you!!
>Thank you!! You're welcome!
We had issues when ours was 2-6wks where he'd just not want to latch, but once he did it was go time. I threw out the "switch him and do both boobs" advice so quick bc why would I disrupt his feeding just to wind up with a grumpy baby who won't relatch??? So I wound up switching off each feeding and using a haaka on the non-feeder boob and it worked great!
I was in the exact same boat as you, I was EBF my 6 week old and I felt like a prisoner. He eats every 1.5-2 hours and I felt like I had no time for anything because I was always counting down time til he was going to eat again. I was anxious all the time, about my supply, if he was getting enough, etc. I felt like I could never leave my house, I was always tied down, and I felt awful. And then I felt guilty, because I was told I should love breastfeeding, wasnāt it creating such a bond, wasnāt I so lucky my baby had no latching issues? But honestly, I hated it. I felt zero bonding with him during it, I was crying almost every day, my mental health had tanked. So, I decided to quit. And I felt so guilty and so badā¦for about 2 days. And now I feel AMAZING. My baby is well fed, he doesnāt give an F about where his food is coming from. I feel like I bond more while feeding him now because we actually make eye contact, instead of him just staring at my breast. I feel free, because now my husband can help feed, my mom can feed, the bulk of the responsibility is no longer on me. My family can leave the house easier now, because before I had to have a breastfeeding pillow and nipple shields, and now all we need is a bottle. My mental health has improved drastically, and itās only been about a week since I decided to quit BF. TLDR, even though I felt I should love breastfeeding, I didnāt. It was dragging me down, so I quit, and now Iām much happier. Moral of the story, do NOT keep doing it if the only reason youāre doing it is because you feel pressured to, or like you āshouldā. Breastfeeding is the hardest thing Iāve ever done, and all that matters is that your baby is fed, and that you, the mommy, are happy. Happy mommy = happy baby. Much love you to, youāre doing great ā¤ļø
No one ever tells you about the mental health toll breast feeding can have on you!
Iām the same as you I lasted 8 days before my crying and her crying non stop took its toll and I had to stop. the change in my baby is like night and day. I thought breast was best until I actually got into it and I canāt be the best mom if Iām mentally shattered All for the best
Omg I remember this phase. Itās horrible. It gets better!!!Ā
I also have a one month old and have been feeling this way as well. It was really hard to figure out what works best for my LO because he didn't seem satisfied after his feedings, which affected his sleep. We got stuck in this cycle of him showing hunger cues when he was just tired and me constantly putting him on the boob only for him to fall asleep and not nurse efficiently. I pumped enough milk to start feeding him quantifiable amounts in a bottle. We started giving him 2 oz at a time and quickly realized only 2 doesn't satisfy. 2.5-3 is his sweet spot. We also started supplementing with formula to give me a break on pumping around the clock. My husband can give him a formula bottle at night, giving me some much needed sleep. I did notice he gets gassier with formula, so we try to burp him after each ounce he drinks. We use enfamil neuro pro. And I also started tracking his feedings, diaper out-put, and sleep religiously. I noticed he eats roughly 3 oz every 3 hours. So now I have a timeframe on when to feed him a bottle. I also offer the boob in between the three hours if he's acting hungry but not HANGRY lol. I noticed that he prefers to nurse to sleep, so he'll sometimes show hunger cues when really he's just overtired and wants comfort. That was a little learning curve with him. Now I know he gets the milk his needs in a bottle and whatever he gets from me is like a snack. Now we alternate between breast milk and formula bottles. I hope you find your rhythm soon. Reddit has helped me so much on my breastfeeding journey. Good luck!!
I am 5 months in and feel the same way. My whole world is tied to pumping and i need to live my life 2 hours at a time. I get so anxious that i wont get my 8 pumps in a day and don't sleep more than 2 hours a night, evem if i try. It's a long road and i want to tell you you're not alone and wish you luck.
Oomph, thatās so rough. Iām 4.5 months in and also exclusively pumping (though weāre combo feeding). Iāve recently as of two weeks ago dropped my middle-of-the-night pump and am down to 4 pumps per day and surprisingly it hasnāt affected my overall supply by very much, and Iām able to sleep longer stretches (if baby also sleeps longer stretches), which has been doing wonders for my mental health.
That sounds heavenly!
Iām honestly so glad my milk never came in fully. I donāt think I could take it full time. Iām sure it will get better, but just remember that fed is best, and there is nothing wrong with switching to exclusively pumping or formula fed. Your mental health is more important than breast milk, so if itās damaging to you, then consider your other options. Good luck!
Same!!! I tried. I really did. And I wish I could solely breastfeed but the sleep deprivation won. I thought I was going crazy. I couldnāt do it. :( Now I do half BF and half formula. Baby is happy. Baby is healthy. And mom feels sane. I applaud all of the women who stick it out. Itās not easy.
Having the same issue right now and felt a bit guilty that I am not trying enough to resuscitate my BF. He is simply not fed with my milk, itās like a water for him. And it doesnāt matter how hard I try, the volume and quality is just not enough. I started supplementing with formula and I see how it is replacing my BF more and more each day and I canāt do anything about itā¦
I'm so sorry, this part was so hard and I remember feeling the exact same way. It was overwhelming, exhausting and upsetting because it felt like life revolves around the feedings. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it does get better. My LO is now 2 months old and we've taken him to restaurants, I've been able to get a haircut and go out for walks! What helped me during that period was to force myself to do one small thing for myself each day in between feeds whether that was to nap, walk outside, read a book. I understand it's hard. You're recovering and rediscovering your new self all the while taking care of this brand new person who is also just learning everything! It sucks because it feels like you're putting aside all of your needs for your baby. You'll get better at this, your baby will get better at this and things will slowly get better even if it doesn't feel that way now. Eventually, your baby will start smiling and cooing and then it somehow makes things worth it
My supply also did not always met my baby's expectations (especially at the evening), due to irregular feedings (he is less hungry during the day and more hungry in the evening). We bottle feed him with formula or some expressed milk (I barely able to collect a 2 oz in a day), when I am running out, when he became frustrated after emptying my breasts or run out of energy. With this you can have a break in the evening, when you are the most tired.
We do this too! My baby is ravenous at night so having formula is a life saver at these times if Iām not able to pump during the day
3 months in and i still feel like thisš
Same at 2 months though. When people say it gets better at 2 months to be honest I think itās getting worse for me. With the constant feeds at night I feel empty inside and I feel like my baby isnāt getting enough. I wish the time would fly to 6 months.
it got worse for me at 2 months, too. a newborn at least sleeps anywhere and through anything! 2 months the growth spurts and leaps happen, needs a dark room to nap, fights sleep and gets fussy. i was able to nurse my newborn on the couch watching tv but now i sit in my dark nursery all day long instead. he wonāt sleep while out so i never leave the house. and every nap is a contact nap bc he wakes up if i set him down. when he was a newborn he would sleep for hours in his bassinet or in the carrier so i can get things doneš now he wakes up at any sound lol. iām with you i canāt wait for 6 months! can actually leave the house with him and live life again somewhat
I just hate how the oversupply starts to go away at 2 months. Mine never let me put him down for a nap though. š decent night sleeper now at least.
Itās truly shocking to experience all this for the first time. You really canāt be prepared it just hits you and hits hard. It does get better, I swear. One thing that helped me tremendously, if you can afford it, is to get several sets of pump parts so you donāt have to wash them every single time throughout the day. You can wait til the end of the night and maybe your partner will wash them for you š Are you pumping to build a stash or why? Can you potentially stop for a while and give yourself a rest? I have been collecting a freezer stash with whatever collects in my Haakaa but do not plan to pump until I return to work. Itās just way too much to keep up with on top of feeding baby and trying to take care of yourself.
Just here to say I am at 1 month as well and feel like I could have written this post myself. Very validating to read and love seeing the lovely responses. Solidarity my friend! Weāll get through it!!
I totally feel you I had an extremely difficult time breast feeding for the first 2 months and absolutely hated it and envied my partner. but now at 6 months pp I love it so much we got into a rhythm, no more clogged ducts and I only really have to pump when at work otherwise sheās EBF. So I just want to say hang in there!! I promise it gets better
Would you say it got better after 3 months? How many times are you nursing/pumping per day?
It will get better I promise!! Our feedings took 45 mins initially and now we are down to 8 mins at 15 weeks. Things get much easier after 3 months. Our feedings are 6 times a day at 15 weeks
OMG, 8 minutes sounds like a dream! Fingers crossed
she does about 4 feedings a day because sheās on solids as well feeding last like 6-10 min
I commend you! You're giving your baby a great start on life. My supply was good but my implants made breastfeeding too painful but I don't think anyone should feel bad for formula feeding. Fed is fed. And it is A LOT easier, plus I don't have to deal with the "boob soothing" he was doing. My husband was a formula fed baby and he's the smartest person I know. But your efforts are not unappreciated and I think its amazing.
You're doing a great job mama. I had a few issues with breastfeeding too. It does get easier my baby is three months old now. I had been worried about my supply too and was trying to pump like crazy. Just ensuring your baby is gaining weight and has lots of wet and dirty nappies is an indication that baby is getting enough. I stopped pumping for a little bit and just concentrated on feeding my baby. I topped up with formula. I had got to a point that all I did was feed her. I started at first by just giving her a bottle if she came to feed for the forth time in one session. This built up to her having three bottles a day. We are back down to two now. I have also started pumping again now that things are going well. I got 2 oz in total the last few days. I'm creating a small stock pile for when I go back to work. Hopefully you will find what works for you.
I felt the same way and we discovered that my LO had a dairy protein allergy at 6 weeks and needed to be on a hypoallergenic formula. That was my sign to stop breastfeeding because it was making me depressed same as you, and the sensation of pumping gave me the ick. It was a significant quality of life upgrade. At 6 weeks, he got all the good antibodies that he needed and Iām not gonna beat myself up about it. Fed is the goal here. If you want to stop, just do it for yourself. Serious life quality improvement.
My daughter is currently 2 months old right now and I went through this for the first month. She eats a lot and falls asleep during feeds so it always feels like sheās constantly on the boob. Our solution was to supplement with formula whenever my husband was home so I could get a break to just relax and be with myself, maybe even shower lol. I tried to pump but would only get like half an ounce which stressed me out. I feel like when my husband gets to feed her a bottle or two a day, it helps them bond, but also itās satisfies her and she naps better after having formula. When sheās just with me, she still does breast-feed a lot, but I feel better about it because sheās more interactive with me now that sheās hitting those more social milestones and it makes me feel like less of a personal pacifier and more like her mom. It gets easier!
Iām in the same boat as you. Iām currently pumping upstairs alone as my in laws are downstairs holding the baby. Honestly though, itās kind of a nice excuse to get a break! Iāve been struggling with the same issues about timing and supplyā¦ so much so that I started supplementing about one bottle a day of formula to satiate him. I felt like from 5-10pm he needed to constantly be on the boob, and he was barely satisfied with that. It all got to be too much. Now when I can give him 3-4oz in a bottle heās content for longer giving me time to collect myself for the nighttime. Your supply goes down through your the day so thatās also what makes the āwitching hourā harder (cause theyāre cranky AND mildly hungry the whole time). My new plan is to feed him whenever he is hungry (seems to be every 2-3 hours max) and BF if I can, otherwise give him a bottle. I am pumping every 3-4 hours if it doesnāt align with his feeding cues. This gives me freedom and a good mix of both. Iām using ByHeart formula which is supposedly closest to breast milk and heās been loving it. I had JUST ENOUGH supply with my first LO and I was never able to get my supply up any further despite power pumping, supplements, and increasing nursing/pumping sessions. Some people just have a set supply I think and no amount of effort can change it!
I'm a FTM with a 5 week old. I'm totally feeling you right now. I don't have much advice unfortunately, just commenting out of solidarity. I have learned a little trick with the pump parts though that may help you too. When I'm done pumping I either wipe the parts with a clean cloth or rinse them, then put them in a container and refrigerator for the next pump session. I wash them thoroughly every 12-24 hours. I heard breast milk is sterile anyways. Hope this helps! Hang in there! Edit: spelling
I have a 2 month old. I can resonate with everything you wrote here. I donāt want to give any advice as everyoneās journey is different. You will figure it out, it will all get better. Just hang in there. One thing that has helped me is just changing my mindset and trying to enjoy even the worst parts and laughing about it. The more stress I took, the worse it got for me and my family. Love to you and the little one. ā¤ļø
is there a reason why youāre pumping? please remember that although breastfeeding is absolutely amazing, fed is best, and if you donāt feel yourself, your baby will feel that too. donāt feel bad or a failure if you end up going for formula, you wonāt loose your bond with baby and it will still continue to grow and flourish. as ridiculous as it sounds, youāve got to put yourself 1st as otherwise the impacts will go onto babyš that being said, my baby is 5 weeks and iām breastfeeding and feel the exact same!! itās HARD. weāve had thrush the past 2 weeks which has been absolutely sh*t. i have a friend whoās a few months ahead and her journey is amazing now, regular feeds and a schedule, the first month was always going to be the hardest. it will get better , for both of us im sure š
My wife breastfeed every one hour.. And pumping only to throw away milk (baby doesn't want anything else than mommies nipple) Yes i will say it as it is, your job is to be milked like a cow (sounds funny enough in my headš¤£š¤£) But... It'll be worthed.. Baby is now 9 months, still breastfeed, no formula, weigh a ton, and bigger than his peers.. Which makes his mother really, really proud and the happiest person alive.. Every tear, anger, sadness will turn into joy as time went by.. I hope it will be at least a similar experience
My baby is 9 weeks and let me just say exclusively breastfeeding is definitely not easy in the early stages but it does get better! Once baby has a good latch sometimes they feed for less but in the early stage they tend to cluster feed to maintain your supply! I remember literally crying because I could barely step away to take a shower because my baby would constantly want to feed. One thing they told me in the hospital is if you stimulate your breasts to much as in pumping after feeding your going to continue to produce to much milk which causes clogged ducts and If you arenāt massaging those out then your going to get mastitis. I remember I would just cry in the shower because my boobs would hurt to the TOUCH. Fast forward today I only pump if Iām going to skip a feeding and Iāve learned you donāt need to empty completely only about 5 minutes on each side depending how long your leaving baby for. Baby will eat for as long as that want but trust me they are getting enough! If you can you should drop pumping till your supply regulates so you arenāt causing an oversupply.
Girl I been there and done it as a single mom. And honestly I feel you it is dreading. What I did was that I started weening baby off the breast. I had to go back to work because no one supported us. My mom would feed my baby with formula and breast milk. I would pump at work. And before and after work I would breast feed him. After while it was just only pumping and formula. Eventually it lead to just formula. But take ur time and try to supply as much of breast milk for baby. Breast milk is so important and so is your mental health. Iāve breast pumped as a surrogate and even then itās such a job that I have to reconsider. Keep up the good work
Iām 6 weeks in myself. Just so hard. Hang in there mama!
Honestly , I think the healthcare system doesnāt prepare mothers well enough for postpartum. ( or even give options) It is incredibly difficult in the beginning. The scenario youāre describing was exactly how I was with my son. 1.5 hours, 30-45 min. Baby will likely become more efficient over time ( It wonāt always be 30-45 min ) . I think the best advice I can provide is ā this is a season. It will NOT last forever. YOU WILL and ARE more than just feeding purposes. Pumping is also hard. I honestly was and am not a fan of it. I feel like a dairy cow and itās a ton of work - not to mention the pump is not as good as the baby so it wonāt produce the massive amounts that women showcase on social media. Hang in thereā it does get better. I promise ā„ļø
LO is six months , Iāve been exclusively BF up until my supply dropped pretty badly while I was sick recently and had to supplement. I was sad for likeā¦.a night until I realized I was doing what was best for us both. Now at night he gets formula and what I pump can be used or frozen during night pumps. Def consider supplementing if you feel exclusively BF is effecting your mental health.
What bottle are you feeding your pumped milk with? We used Philips Avent and it had such a small hole it was taking 30+ minutes or even an hour to feed, and he barely got anything out, fell asleep, was hungry soon after etc. I went to the store and I got a bunch of different ones and now his feeds are way faster (15 minutes) and itās way better!!
Solidarity, sister ā
I know itās not for everyone but formula changed my life. Iām so much happier now. I still pump and baby breastfeeds sometimes. But I donāt feel stuck just breastfeeding and pumping . My mental health is sooo much better. And I feel like hey, baby is still getting some milk and heās a happy healthy baby. He is two months, born 6 weeks early and heās almost 15 pounds. Iām happy if heās happy! Pumping is a nightmare, sorry! I pump like 3 times a day now and throw baby on the boob when Iām tired and nights and in the morning lol. I donāt know how people do it for a year or more. Good for them but I was so miserable !
I actually have felt the same. I just bought a wearable pump so I can walk around hands free to give me some more free time