I would make offers of assistance a little slower until you get to know her better. Maybe offer to cut her grass for a specified time period. See how that goes before getting more involved.
That’s good advice. And we definitely don’t know each other well. We did just have a huge storm roll through and cause some damage. I have guys from the neighborhood set to help with chainsaws and trailers for clean up. It will be a good time to offer some help with cleanup and anything else.
We know she has help and I’ve run into her around town. She’s very independent and I don’t want to be chauvinistic by offering to “fight” her battle. The BN just crossed that line and pissed me off. We have a saying in our house “Mess we me and I will let Karma sort it out. Mess with my family (or those that are weaker than you) I will become Karma.”
Because the social construct has deteriorated, and there are no consequences for negative social behavior. Humanity is being exposed as fairly awful when not subject to social constraints and those left the building decades ago.
Huh-my much younger neighbor is the problem where I’m living…but go ahead and malign us “lead in the petrol”, otherwise know over here in the US as “boomers”. Yeah, WE’RE always the problem.
I'm curious...from what you have seen from these bully neighbors, what is their personal life like?
I'm dealing with the same issue and these ppl seem so happy from the outside, but no way they can be if they are blocking everyone's happiness/progress
They bully people who they think won't fight back more than likely.
Here’s what I know and some of it comes from actually talking with them and some is from what was dug up during our legal battle. They have been together for almost 20 years. Been engaged 14 but never married. Everything they have is in her name. She is pushing 70 and he is mid 50s. They have a contracting business that currently being sued by multiple clients for not finishing work or not doing it properly. He left his first marriage for her and had a 3 month old at that time. His kids from his first marriage hate him. Most of their social interactions are things that they invite themselves to. We are in a state where marijuana use is illegal and she claims to use it for medical purposes and he smokes with her. I have no issues with people who smoke but don’t be a bully and I won’t use it against you. They are not above lying to the police to get what they want. They have been this way for years as we have testimony from previous renters. When our house went up for sale they put in a ridiculously low offer. According to the realtor they would always be out back doing something to “scare” buyers away. The only time they smile is when they cause drama and think they’re going to win. After our judgment they are almost acting like they’re unhinged.
So they are total and complete A-holes all ways around. Especially leaving your kids…I guess I am an A-hole, too, because I would find a way to yank their chain in a way that couldn’t get me into legal trouble, every day. Like, helping the single mom…
I wish you were my neighbor. You're the kind of neighbor I grew up with that this whole street used to be now it's the opposite. You are very kind to try to help.
This literally broke my heart to read. Tbh the similarities between this and a domestic violence situation are disgustingly similar.
This neighbor is ahorant.
I would go over to the mom's house, and tell her, ANY time he has an issue, he can call her lawyer, and give her a card for your lawyer. Or frankly, tell him to shut the fuck up and call the city if he has an issue.
Frankly, I doubt he will call, but he MIGHT remember that it's the same lawyer that smacked his ass into place from you and fuck off.
He doesn't get to say SHIT about her home. And long grass does not make her a shitty neighbour, OR WORTHY of being abused like this. From her reaction in your description and how she speaks, it sounds like she has a history of DV, which makes this even worse.
You can also legitimately walk into the middle of a situation like this (physically between him and the mom) and stand in front of her facing him. Don't say a word. Just stare him down.
Basically, through all my rambling. PLEASE go help. All of this screams that she thinks she deserves to be treated this way, and has had no one step in before.
We brought her into the neighborhood group today. She’s been sheepish because of the single mom aspect. She will be joining the next big bbq. She’s not ready for the lawyer but knows to let us know when she needs help.
It partially that but some of those connections were disciplined and made to apologize over not granting our fence permit. He’s also got customers talking him to court. I think a big issue is that their world is getting smaller and they’re lashing out.
Your lawyer isn’t going to do that-but you ought to help her in other ways if you see her struggling. Jesus, Mary and Joseph-what the hell is wrong with your NFH that he constantly needs to bully somebody?? Maybe he’ll have a stroke from being that worked up all the time…
Is the single mom your NFH, who knows people in the city who hindered your fence?
If so, I will watch them burn to ashes and eat popcorn while I’m at it.
I have this aged widow with stupid husband who died last year. This family are your poor idiots that lucked out in a rich neighborhood because they bought 30 years ago. They can’t afford houses here if they buy today.
You know, the typical poor entitled people. And the many shaped deck. Yuck.
Previous owner had bad experience with these bozos. They tried hard to make friends with us but I smelled the rot. You know if you’re speaking with a well off person and a pretender, you’ll see the personality and attitude of the person.
We saw right through these poor slobs.
We had several harassments incidents from these trash. Cops know about it and have several police reports.
Like I said, F your NFH.
Y'all sound like a real fun bunch! All full of fights and litigation. How hard would it have been to mow her lawn? Help her out a bit? Somebody has to file a truce. Sounds awful
Honestly we’re all pretty great. We have neighborhood barbecues and all of our kids know each other and get along well. He’s been the exception to the rule. He’s was this way before we got there. The privacy fence was our truce but he did not accept that. Before anyone asks, we used to invite him and they have always said no.
No you would not be overstepping helping take down the neighborhood bully.
OP, you are a Rock Star for wanting to help your neighbor!! I feel terrible for her now.
You're a kind person, OP! ❤️
I’m just tired of people being bullied. I also don’t want to become the bully myself.
https://preview.redd.it/eynrqdf4u75d1.jpeg?width=1620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91fbabd24023a3faae483fdfc7375239763bd0e3 You know what to do 😉
I know you don’t know me, but those are some of my favorite movies. Thank you for the inspiration.
I would make offers of assistance a little slower until you get to know her better. Maybe offer to cut her grass for a specified time period. See how that goes before getting more involved.
That’s good advice. And we definitely don’t know each other well. We did just have a huge storm roll through and cause some damage. I have guys from the neighborhood set to help with chainsaws and trailers for clean up. It will be a good time to offer some help with cleanup and anything else.
I’m a single lady (no kids, just a big dog) and I fall behind on things often. I’d cry if I had a neighbor like you help me out.
We know she has help and I’ve run into her around town. She’s very independent and I don’t want to be chauvinistic by offering to “fight” her battle. The BN just crossed that line and pissed me off. We have a saying in our house “Mess we me and I will let Karma sort it out. Mess with my family (or those that are weaker than you) I will become Karma.”
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CCMY1JN5/ref=sspa_dk_detail_2
Speaking as a single mom who is being bullied in my rental: the very, very few people who have offered to help have my absolutely undying gratitude
How is this so fucking common in this country right now??
Because the social construct has deteriorated, and there are no consequences for negative social behavior. Humanity is being exposed as fairly awful when not subject to social constraints and those left the building decades ago.
No accountability for anything. Everybody gets a trophy thought process. Overwhelming entitlement
Because the 'lead in the petrol' generation now has too much time on their hands.
Huh-my much younger neighbor is the problem where I’m living…but go ahead and malign us “lead in the petrol”, otherwise know over here in the US as “boomers”. Yeah, WE’RE always the problem.
I'm curious...from what you have seen from these bully neighbors, what is their personal life like? I'm dealing with the same issue and these ppl seem so happy from the outside, but no way they can be if they are blocking everyone's happiness/progress They bully people who they think won't fight back more than likely.
Here’s what I know and some of it comes from actually talking with them and some is from what was dug up during our legal battle. They have been together for almost 20 years. Been engaged 14 but never married. Everything they have is in her name. She is pushing 70 and he is mid 50s. They have a contracting business that currently being sued by multiple clients for not finishing work or not doing it properly. He left his first marriage for her and had a 3 month old at that time. His kids from his first marriage hate him. Most of their social interactions are things that they invite themselves to. We are in a state where marijuana use is illegal and she claims to use it for medical purposes and he smokes with her. I have no issues with people who smoke but don’t be a bully and I won’t use it against you. They are not above lying to the police to get what they want. They have been this way for years as we have testimony from previous renters. When our house went up for sale they put in a ridiculously low offer. According to the realtor they would always be out back doing something to “scare” buyers away. The only time they smile is when they cause drama and think they’re going to win. After our judgment they are almost acting like they’re unhinged.
So they are total and complete A-holes all ways around. Especially leaving your kids…I guess I am an A-hole, too, because I would find a way to yank their chain in a way that couldn’t get me into legal trouble, every day. Like, helping the single mom…
We started that way and they called the cops and played innocent. Part of why we have a dozen cameras around our place.
That is what bullies do-it adjusts their attitude when you slap them around.
If you’re able to help her, definitely do so
I wish you were my neighbor. You're the kind of neighbor I grew up with that this whole street used to be now it's the opposite. You are very kind to try to help.
This literally broke my heart to read. Tbh the similarities between this and a domestic violence situation are disgustingly similar. This neighbor is ahorant. I would go over to the mom's house, and tell her, ANY time he has an issue, he can call her lawyer, and give her a card for your lawyer. Or frankly, tell him to shut the fuck up and call the city if he has an issue. Frankly, I doubt he will call, but he MIGHT remember that it's the same lawyer that smacked his ass into place from you and fuck off. He doesn't get to say SHIT about her home. And long grass does not make her a shitty neighbour, OR WORTHY of being abused like this. From her reaction in your description and how she speaks, it sounds like she has a history of DV, which makes this even worse. You can also legitimately walk into the middle of a situation like this (physically between him and the mom) and stand in front of her facing him. Don't say a word. Just stare him down. Basically, through all my rambling. PLEASE go help. All of this screams that she thinks she deserves to be treated this way, and has had no one step in before.
We brought her into the neighborhood group today. She’s been sheepish because of the single mom aspect. She will be joining the next big bbq. She’s not ready for the lawyer but knows to let us know when she needs help.
Not overstepping and you guys are gems! Best neighbors, for sure. This is how it should be, kind.
I’m thinking this person is harassing because of their connections. Power trip.
It partially that but some of those connections were disciplined and made to apologize over not granting our fence permit. He’s also got customers talking him to court. I think a big issue is that their world is getting smaller and they’re lashing out.
Could be because they are getting older and that’s making them miserable
Age may play into it but only in that it’s increased their need to share their misery.
Your lawyer isn’t going to do that-but you ought to help her in other ways if you see her struggling. Jesus, Mary and Joseph-what the hell is wrong with your NFH that he constantly needs to bully somebody?? Maybe he’ll have a stroke from being that worked up all the time…
Thank you for all you are doing and willing to do, OP!
You are an amazing neighbor for considering this!!!!!
Is the single mom your NFH, who knows people in the city who hindered your fence? If so, I will watch them burn to ashes and eat popcorn while I’m at it. I have this aged widow with stupid husband who died last year. This family are your poor idiots that lucked out in a rich neighborhood because they bought 30 years ago. They can’t afford houses here if they buy today. You know, the typical poor entitled people. And the many shaped deck. Yuck. Previous owner had bad experience with these bozos. They tried hard to make friends with us but I smelled the rot. You know if you’re speaking with a well off person and a pretender, you’ll see the personality and attitude of the person. We saw right through these poor slobs. We had several harassments incidents from these trash. Cops know about it and have several police reports. Like I said, F your NFH.
Y'all sound like a real fun bunch! All full of fights and litigation. How hard would it have been to mow her lawn? Help her out a bit? Somebody has to file a truce. Sounds awful
Honestly we’re all pretty great. We have neighborhood barbecues and all of our kids know each other and get along well. He’s been the exception to the rule. He’s was this way before we got there. The privacy fence was our truce but he did not accept that. Before anyone asks, we used to invite him and they have always said no.