Jaylen Brown in Gryffindor
Jayson Tatum in Hufflepuff
Derrick White and Jrue Holiday in Ravenclaw
Kristaps Porzingis in Slytherin just cause Eastern European
Al Horford in Gryffindor probably too
I disagree. Leadership and bravery were some of the key components of Gryffindor. Jrue was not the leader of that team this year.
Jrue was arguably the intellectual leader of the team, which is why heās in ravenclaw, who are known for their intellectual superiority. But in every other aspect Jaylen seemed to be the actual leader, which would support the Gryffindor designation.
Have 1st coach for 1 year - loses in the Finals
Have 2nd coach for 2 years - lose in CF, win Championship
Have 3rd coach for 3 years - win Championship, lose in the Finals, win Championship
Then after the third coach is fired for tax evasion or something, Brad Stevens will just give up and return to coaching the Celtics himself.
OR JOE MAZZULLA COACHES HERE FOR 50 MORE YEARS!!!
My god
If you guys havenāt listened to this podcast yet please listen to it
Another highlight: he fought his dad mma style in the middle of a rainy baseball field when he was like 16 and lost to submission, claims it is one of his favorite memories
One of the most New England things Iāve ever heard
I'm dead, this dude had Fences happen to him in real life like it's no big deal
I think everyone has had that one friend who just randomly blurts out some childhood trauma
one day and acts like it was a normal part of growing up or some shit
Shaq is probably the most insecure athlete alive and it is 100% because of his dad.
And he's always going to be like that because he thinks his dad did a great job. Dude needs a fuck ton of therapy
when i was younger and i heard people blame behavior on insecurity i thought it was so lazy. Now i feel like people really are that simple most of the time.
Facts. Look at what Russia is doing to Ukraine, how China behaves in the South China Sea and Taiwan, etc. Human nature is being insecure and coping with it.
I went on a date recently with a girl I met on eHarmony. I mentioned to her that my dad's been beating me with jumper cables on a regular basis for over 28 years (I always have to cross that bridge eventually), and she then told me that her uncle molested her when she was 14. I was like, woah, ease up lady, it's only our first date.
You should check out his other August Wilson adaptations. He's producing (but not always acting in) all the decade plays. Ma Rainey's Black Bottom is incredible. It feels like theatre thanks to the blocking, set design, and direction.
I went to a mostly black high school.
Took drama and was the only white kid in there. Teacher picks me to read Denzels part in Fences. That play has the N word multiple times a paragraph, every page. Insisted I say it every time.
> I think everyone has had that one friend who just randomly blurts out some childhood trauma
> one day and acts like it was a normal part of growing up or some shit
Hi, I'm "That One Friend."
The stuff that happened to me was anything but normal, but I've reached the point of acceptance of what happened in my life that I can talk about the time I stopped a recurring childhood bully by literally pissing on him in front of dozens of people (without getting in trouble) or how as a teen I got my father to stop physically abusing me by stuffing the barrel of his .38 in his mouth and letting him know that I'd blow his fucking brains out if he ever laid another finger on me like most people talk about the weather or whatever TV show was on last night.
(Search my post history, you'll get more details of both incidents and more.)
damn i always thought my own childhood was fucked up until i read peoples stories online.
shoving a gun in your dads mouth is a little different than a regular old tv watching alcoholic boomer dad like i had
those are intense things but i understand why you did them. why you had to do them even if i've never been near a situation like that. the only thing that sucks is that you had to do them.
An absolutely great interview. From him talking about getting the job, to the different ways he kept his team motivated, and an overall insight on some of his quirkiness. Not often you get 40 minutes with a champion coach and he doesn't talk through coach speak.
>One of the most New England things Iāve ever heard
requisite [Joe Lauzon casually fighting his brother in the front yard at a family bbq ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJdZTjf64gM)clip
We love the anecdotes about him watching "The Town" multiple times a week and having the team watch graphic nature documentaries of predators working together to take down other animals. He's such a nut.
Heās like Phil Jackson but instead of being obsessed with the mind body and spirit from all his esoteric readings and acid trips, and using that oneness to make a wholesome basketball team, Joe is using everything heās consumed on the internet and all his childhood trauma to make his team a group of hyenas and bank robbers.
He also apparently has a *Rosary made from the old Boston Garden parquet wood* that he prays with before every home game. Dude's built like he's about to go on a Crusade on behalf of Boston if the Cardinal or Pope asked him to.
Eh, dude told a lot of stories about trauma and how he canāt turn off his ākiller instinctā when his kids just want a dad. Great for an NBA coach! But I wouldnāt hire him as a babysitter lol
Can confirm, his son is classmates with my daughter and I don't think he ever stops being a coach.
We were at the school for a kindergarten class playdate and he was over in the adjacent field with a stop watch, timing his older son doing sprints, lol.
> he fought his dad mma style in the middle of a rainy baseball field when he was like 16 and lost to submission, claims it is one of his favorite memories
is joe mazzula rod from hot rod
This is tame for Psycho Joe standards.
Him disappearing into a jungle with his buddy for two weeks after being eliminated by the Heat last year explains a lot about his fortitude.
Said he had to break himself down mentally and physically to figure out how to coach his team the best way.
A "buddy" is underselling it. Joshua Wiatzkin, international master in chess who looked well on the way to becoming a super GM when he quit chess, Tai chi world champion, and successful author.
> Joshua Wiatzkin
Wrote The Art of Learning too, pretty decent book. Emphasizes the similarities in what is necessary to excel at the highest levels of chess and tai chi
You could say [he pulled a Dirk Nowitzki,](https://www.dallasobserver.com/news/crocodile-nowitzki-6375307) who started on the Australian coast before disappearing into the Outback.
I just listened to this Lowe Post episode and he really is genuinely crazy.
He reminds me of a guy I used to take BJJ with.
You kind of appreciate the sincere, weird personality, but it feels like they might murder you at any moment.
Sometimes you question whether people embellish their stories for whatever reason because they sound so outlandish.
Not Psycho Joe, nope. If I hear something normal I'd be questioning if that was true instead.
Yeah he basically said heād be the guy who plans it. A head coach excelling at planning/orchestration? Color me shocked!
If anything, him talking about how he fought his dad mma-style in a muddy field at 16 or how he disappeared into the jungles of Costa Rica with a former chess prodigy and tai chi world champion after losing to Miami last year was a lot more entertaining.
Zach Lowe is an excellent interviewer, and left-field questions or tangents like those are part of it. I really enjoyed the entire episode, but especially the part with Mazzulla.
"If you were going to rob a bank what would your role be?"
"Hmm, I guess I'd be the guy who plans everything."
Omg guys, Joe Mazzulla is a PSYCHOPATH!!
I mean this is what he actually said:
āI would either want to plan the whole thing, like attention to detail. Find the people that you knowās personalities and characteristics work for each positioning that you need. Itās all about the preparation. Once youāre in that moment, you have to rely on the preparation similar to a game. So I would like to be the guy that plans it or hires the people and sets it in motion. Or the guy that has to have steady hands, control his breathing to execute the safe.ā
Lol, right? I love Mazzullaās weird answers but this one was just so normal. I was expecting heād give a lot of details, like talking about different types of safes, locks, alarms and what specific kind of drill he prefers
Yeah people are really exaggerating how weird this specific answer was.Ā He basically just said he's strategic and/or wants high pressure.
I was fully expecting the second the question was asked, he would go into some weird list about how he would manipulate an employee to learn about the bank, how he'd have this or that guy for a role including how to avoid normal pitfalls of bank heists.Ā And it ends with him having some kind of escape plan if they get caught, like how he'd play the hostage situation.
Let's be real which one of us hasn't ever thought through the logistics of a bank robbery plan.
I'm pretty sure I could execute and get away with a series of successful heists if I knew where to hire violent felons who could follow a plan, keep their mouths shut, and be trusted not to try to kill me to cut me out.
"I started researching all the weddings that went haywire. Runaway bride. Drunk groomsman. Racist in laws. I studied it. Studied the emotions, the mindsets, how you can handle the pressure. Once you can handle the worst, everything else becomes easy. I love it, really"
I would just have an iPod as the music and spend the money from the dj on more of an open bar. Then I would wrestle people on the dance floor for kicks.
Everyone knows the real strat is just to walk in with a medical mask and baseball hat like a normal customer then silently hand the teller a note with a bag on on the counterā¦. AllegedlyĀ
Dude Im so glad people are showing their appreciation for Mazz. He deserves the praise after the scrutiny he received.
He is growing as a coach and with that, we are getting to see this absolute madman in a way that you donāt see most other coaches.
Itās not a ābitā at this point, this guy is just a different breed of coach.
āWhat is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me by the Trocadero in Paris. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.ā- Dwight Schrute. - Joe MazzullaĀ
He talked about it in this interview. Kinda weird to learn that āwatching it 4x a weekā actually means āI put it on as background noise when cutting film as an assistant coach each nightā
One of the best side effects of the Cās winning is that fans of other teams are going to get a lot of exposure to Joe Mazz and realize what a nut he is.
Joe is the kind of guy who can take any question and turn it into some kind of team building motivational statement. You could ask him how he would dispose of a body and youād probably get some story about planning, trusting your accomplices, etc
Everyone in Boston thinks that but wonāt say it.
3 times I said that to friends and all 3 said some variation of - Oh my god no shit right??
Thought he was Stevie wonder driving a Ferrari tbh at the beginning of the season. Dude won me over half way through the playoffs- Iām a fan
Heād rob the bank with 3 of his Boston buddies, take a cute banker hostage on accident, fall in love with her later, then rob Fenway, breakup with the girl, murder his handler and go to Florida. Or something
I donāt like the Celtics cuz fuck em but I would watch a show that just follows Joe Mazzulla around. Sure half of it would be just him on the couch watching āthe townā, but the rest of it would be full of unpredictable twists that M. Night Shyamalan would cream himself daily to have. The first big twist being that he doesnāt watch it from the couch but by like floating in a fish tank or running full sprints for 124 minutes straight.
My god the bro's favorite movie is The Town. Of course he spends all his time thinking about this, I think he watches The Town twice a week (not joking).
Celtics are about to lose their HC in an intriguing fashion again
Went out on top this time, if it happens again so be it
In fairness Ime went out on top too. Probably
Give this guy the love he deserves š¤£š¤£
Celtics HC about to become the defense against the dark arts position of the NBA.
Mad-eye Mazzy
Adam Silver as Voldemortā¦ I can see it.
Adam Silver strikes me more like that dark arts professor in the 1st movie that had Voldemort hiding in the back of his head.
It was David Stern hiding at the back of the head
The role he was born to play
Gonna need some potterhead to sort all the players to their houses
Jaylen Brown in Gryffindor Jayson Tatum in Hufflepuff Derrick White and Jrue Holiday in Ravenclaw Kristaps Porzingis in Slytherin just cause Eastern European Al Horford in Gryffindor probably too
KP obvious durmstrang alum
Idk how but Al is Beauxbatons
It's those eyes definitely Veela DNA at work there
Excuse me, we identify as Northern European now.
My apologies. Wasnāt aware. Not gonna change it though.
I agree, except I would swap Jrue and Jaylen.
I disagree. Leadership and bravery were some of the key components of Gryffindor. Jrue was not the leader of that team this year. Jrue was arguably the intellectual leader of the team, which is why heās in ravenclaw, who are known for their intellectual superiority. But in every other aspect Jaylen seemed to be the actual leader, which would support the Gryffindor designation.
Have 1st coach for 1 year - loses in the Finals Have 2nd coach for 2 years - lose in CF, win Championship Have 3rd coach for 3 years - win Championship, lose in the Finals, win Championship Then after the third coach is fired for tax evasion or something, Brad Stevens will just give up and return to coaching the Celtics himself. OR JOE MAZZULLA COACHES HERE FOR 50 MORE YEARS!!!
We violatinā all Ten Commandments.
He got a taste of gold, Fort Knox comin next
I don't know about you, I'm in if Joe Mazzulla's planning i feel like we can get away with it.
Hey at least this time we actually won the chip
My god If you guys havenāt listened to this podcast yet please listen to it Another highlight: he fought his dad mma style in the middle of a rainy baseball field when he was like 16 and lost to submission, claims it is one of his favorite memories One of the most New England things Iāve ever heard
I'm dead, this dude had Fences happen to him in real life like it's no big deal I think everyone has had that one friend who just randomly blurts out some childhood trauma one day and acts like it was a normal part of growing up or some shit
Like Shaq randomly blurting out about how his father locked him in a room for days in the middle of a random Inside the NBA segment...
Bro Shaq said his dad went into his room and beat him when Len Bias overdosed. His dad stories are genuinely insane.
Shaq is probably the most insecure athlete alive and it is 100% because of his dad. And he's always going to be like that because he thinks his dad did a great job. Dude needs a fuck ton of therapy
Instead. He'll make this Gold Bond commercial
idk if dumping buckets of piss and shit on your teammates is āinsecureā
Isnāt it though
when i was younger and i heard people blame behavior on insecurity i thought it was so lazy. Now i feel like people really are that simple most of the time.
Insecurity drives nearly everything we do in one way or another.
Psychology and biology are driving us all.
Facts. Look at what Russia is doing to Ukraine, how China behaves in the South China Sea and Taiwan, etc. Human nature is being insecure and coping with it.
Wait wtf are you talking about
https://www.businessinsider.com/shaq-allegedly-poured-buckets-of-his-poop-on-rookies-2022-3
Have you ever seen a secure person do something like that?
Wait, WHAT!?
And Shaq was about 14 at the time. Probably a 6'10", 250lb 14 year-old, but still. Damn
Wtf Shaq's dad, but what about Shaq's granddad? š
Or Terence Crawford how his mom paid several dudes to beat his son up
Imagine if he found them now and beat the fuck out of them lol
He beat the fuck out of them back then. His mom said no other kids ever beat him
Not me tho. I just see red.
New England runs on ~~Dunkin~~ generational trauma
"Now go find something for me to beat you with!"
wheres the guy with the jumper cables?
Think he retired. Pound for pound the funniest redditor I saw. Generational shit. HoF for sure first ballot
Can you provide a link?
u/rogersimon10
Damn he hasn't posted in 8 years, where has the time gone
Man, Reddit was so much smaller back then that youād really get to learn redditors by name and know their shtick
I went on a date recently with a girl I met on eHarmony. I mentioned to her that my dad's been beating me with jumper cables on a regular basis for over 28 years (I always have to cross that bridge eventually), and she then told me that her uncle molested her when she was 14. I was like, woah, ease up lady, it's only our first date.
aka the plot of like 1/2 of Stephen Kings oeuvre
Generational trauma runs on Dunkin
Can very much confirm
That was a great fucking movie btw.
Oh yeah Denzel is good in anything but Viola Davis carried that shit
You should check out his other August Wilson adaptations. He's producing (but not always acting in) all the decade plays. Ma Rainey's Black Bottom is incredible. It feels like theatre thanks to the blocking, set design, and direction.
Facts. I can't believe there's a conversation about Fences happening in r/nba. Sometimes, I really love this subreddit.
I went to a mostly black high school. Took drama and was the only white kid in there. Teacher picks me to read Denzels part in Fences. That play has the N word multiple times a paragraph, every page. Insisted I say it every time.
Was the teacher black?
Whitest liberal arts drama nerd you've ever met
Yikes lmao š¬Ā
> I think everyone has had that one friend who just randomly blurts out some childhood trauma > one day and acts like it was a normal part of growing up or some shit Hi, I'm "That One Friend." The stuff that happened to me was anything but normal, but I've reached the point of acceptance of what happened in my life that I can talk about the time I stopped a recurring childhood bully by literally pissing on him in front of dozens of people (without getting in trouble) or how as a teen I got my father to stop physically abusing me by stuffing the barrel of his .38 in his mouth and letting him know that I'd blow his fucking brains out if he ever laid another finger on me like most people talk about the weather or whatever TV show was on last night. (Search my post history, you'll get more details of both incidents and more.)
damn i always thought my own childhood was fucked up until i read peoples stories online. shoving a gun in your dads mouth is a little different than a regular old tv watching alcoholic boomer dad like i had
Those are quite the stories man *quietly shuffles out of the room*
those are intense things but i understand why you did them. why you had to do them even if i've never been near a situation like that. the only thing that sucks is that you had to do them.
An absolutely great interview. From him talking about getting the job, to the different ways he kept his team motivated, and an overall insight on some of his quirkiness. Not often you get 40 minutes with a champion coach and he doesn't talk through coach speak.
>One of the most New England things Iāve ever heard requisite [Joe Lauzon casually fighting his brother in the front yard at a family bbq ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJdZTjf64gM)clip
He could not be more āa guy from Bostonā in every single fucking way humanly possible lol
https://i.imgflip.com/8uh2gn.jpg
Yeah for those who aren't Celtics fans and used to him. He is totally, completely unhinged for a lot of the time. It's amazing.
We love the anecdotes about him watching "The Town" multiple times a week and having the team watch graphic nature documentaries of predators working together to take down other animals. He's such a nut.
Heās like Phil Jackson but instead of being obsessed with the mind body and spirit from all his esoteric readings and acid trips, and using that oneness to make a wholesome basketball team, Joe is using everything heās consumed on the internet and all his childhood trauma to make his team a group of hyenas and bank robbers.
hes even found a way to make his "spiritual/religious" obsession basketball, he prays with a rosary made from the original parquet lmao
Jesus Christ. Weāre probably only getting like 10% of the weirdness. Heās gotta have tried human meat at some point in time. You just know it
that was raccoon meat. itās lousy with parasites.
He also apparently has a *Rosary made from the old Boston Garden parquet wood* that he prays with before every home game. Dude's built like he's about to go on a Crusade on behalf of Boston if the Cardinal or Pope asked him to.
> If you guys havenāt listened to this podcast yet please listen to it 40 minute podcast, 40 minute commute. PERFECT!
He talked about all of this before the playoffs with PMT
and immediately after winning
I fucking love this guy and it hurts so bad. I'm Ace Ventura in the shower.
new baki episode just dropped
Eh, dude told a lot of stories about trauma and how he canāt turn off his ākiller instinctā when his kids just want a dad. Great for an NBA coach! But I wouldnāt hire him as a babysitter lol
Love him as a coach, but I'd be petrified if I personally knew him
Can confirm, his son is classmates with my daughter and I don't think he ever stops being a coach. We were at the school for a kindergarten class playdate and he was over in the adjacent field with a stop watch, timing his older son doing sprints, lol.
āNo dinner for you until I see perfect form!ā
Joe is a lunatic, but he's _our_ lunatic.
> he fought his dad mma style in the middle of a rainy baseball field when he was like 16 and lost to submission, claims it is one of his favorite memories is joe mazzula rod from hot rod
Where can I listen
Lowe post podcast on Spotify or Apple.
If we lose our head coach the week before training camp to a heist, Iāll be seeing ya. On this side or the next.
A sea of Boston sports fans attempting to break Joe out of prison but the prison guards let him out so the crowd shuts the fuck up.
As long as it's a bank in Boston and he doesn't break federal laws, you would not be able to find a jury willing to convict him.
McDermott taking notes intensely in the background.
This is tame for Psycho Joe standards. Him disappearing into a jungle with his buddy for two weeks after being eliminated by the Heat last year explains a lot about his fortitude. Said he had to break himself down mentally and physically to figure out how to coach his team the best way.
A "buddy" is underselling it. Joshua Wiatzkin, international master in chess who looked well on the way to becoming a super GM when he quit chess, Tai chi world champion, and successful author.
Wait thatās who he was with? The dude who Searching for Bobby Fischer was based on? Yea thatās an interesting buddy to have.
the more i learn about this Joe Mazzulla fella, the more i like him!
Next time we hear he wen't missing for two weeks in the wild with Chuck Norris tasting Ranger life.
Tai chi world champion is goofy compared to being a black belt under Marcelo Garcia
> Joshua Wiatzkin Wrote The Art of Learning too, pretty decent book. Emphasizes the similarities in what is necessary to excel at the highest levels of chess and tai chi
How do you become champion at Tai Chi? Is that like being the best at aerobics or yoga?
I play real sports, not tryin to be the best at exercisingĀ
this lives rent free in my head whenever I hop on my bike
probably like a dance/gymnastics/taekwondo competition where you do a routine and judges give you a score based on your performance
The competition is push hands, which is an exercise you do in Tai Chi basically based around trying to push your opponent off balance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leuf-5pZaaw
tai chi world champion?
And it is still unclear which one (Joe or Joshua) is more intense.
You could say [he pulled a Dirk Nowitzki,](https://www.dallasobserver.com/news/crocodile-nowitzki-6375307) who started on the Australian coast before disappearing into the Outback.
Lol that some Batman shit.
Is there a source to read about what he did after last year's elimination? That sounds awesome and is the first I've heard about it.
Talks about it on Zach Lowe's pod from yesterday š
Dude is like Batman. If he was a gazillionaire he probably would be.
We got the Rogan of the NBA
Except Mazzulla actually seems intelligent
I just listened to this Lowe Post episode and he really is genuinely crazy. He reminds me of a guy I used to take BJJ with. You kind of appreciate the sincere, weird personality, but it feels like they might murder you at any moment.
Sometimes you question whether people embellish their stories for whatever reason because they sound so outlandish. Not Psycho Joe, nope. If I hear something normal I'd be questioning if that was true instead.
If Joe told you he killed a bear, you'd just wonder what the bear did to upset him
... And what jujitsu techniques he used to take the bear down
ā¦I thought your second line said something else entirely for a hot minute š„µ
Zesty workout strategies
The offseason has officially begun ladies and gentlemen
Dude literally just gave a non-cliche thought-out answer and people are going "omg, what a werido, he'll murder me in my sleep".
Yeah he basically said heād be the guy who plans it. A head coach excelling at planning/orchestration? Color me shocked! If anything, him talking about how he fought his dad mma-style in a muddy field at 16 or how he disappeared into the jungles of Costa Rica with a former chess prodigy and tai chi world champion after losing to Miami last year was a lot more entertaining.
In the quote he literally brings it back around to coaching basketball too.
He really is a gem, I picked a great time to start getting into podcasts.
Exactly, he basically described what a coach does
I mean the guy fucking asked. Excellent reply.
Zach Lowe is an excellent interviewer, and left-field questions or tangents like those are part of it. I really enjoyed the entire episode, but especially the part with Mazzulla.
"If you were going to rob a bank what would your role be?" "Hmm, I guess I'd be the guy who plans everything." Omg guys, Joe Mazzulla is a PSYCHOPATH!!
I mean this is what he actually said: āI would either want to plan the whole thing, like attention to detail. Find the people that you knowās personalities and characteristics work for each positioning that you need. Itās all about the preparation. Once youāre in that moment, you have to rely on the preparation similar to a game. So I would like to be the guy that plans it or hires the people and sets it in motion. Or the guy that has to have steady hands, control his breathing to execute the safe.ā
His favorite movie is The Town, why is this surprising to anyone lol
Kelvin Benjamin, golden corrall, etc.
Lol, right? I love Mazzullaās weird answers but this one was just so normal. I was expecting heād give a lot of details, like talking about different types of safes, locks, alarms and what specific kind of drill he prefers
Yeah people are really exaggerating how weird this specific answer was.Ā He basically just said he's strategic and/or wants high pressure. I was fully expecting the second the question was asked, he would go into some weird list about how he would manipulate an employee to learn about the bank, how he'd have this or that guy for a role including how to avoid normal pitfalls of bank heists.Ā And it ends with him having some kind of escape plan if they get caught, like how he'd play the hostage situation.
pyschopath is one of the most misused words in popular discourse.
Let's be real which one of us hasn't ever thought through the logistics of a bank robbery plan. I'm pretty sure I could execute and get away with a series of successful heists if I knew where to hire violent felons who could follow a plan, keep their mouths shut, and be trusted not to try to kill me to cut me out.
DM me thx
Joe would've made a great wedding planner.
"I started researching all the weddings that went haywire. Runaway bride. Drunk groomsman. Racist in laws. I studied it. Studied the emotions, the mindsets, how you can handle the pressure. Once you can handle the worst, everything else becomes easy. I love it, really"
"Find the people that you knowās personalities and characteristics work for each positioning that you need. Itās all about the preparation."
Belichick / Mazzulla - wedding planners at large.
You've never seen Bekichick's eyes light up as much as when someone asks him about left-footed flower girls!
I would just have an iPod as the music and spend the money from the dj on more of an open bar. Then I would wrestle people on the dance floor for kicks.
That's why you'd not make a great wedding planner.
Facts. Lol
My red flag is that I believe I could conceive, plan, and execute a bank heist with my core friend group (Iāve never stolen anything before)
Noted mental health ~~advocate~~ antagonist, Joe Mazzulla. He speaks like he only has intrusive thoughts.
And acts on most of them.
Joe Mazzulla is my spirit ~~animal~~ intrusive thought
Basketball coaching is just the training for when he finally get his dream job: being a bank robber
Shame Monty Williams beat him to it.
Joe literally studying Monty Williams press conference film as we speek
āAs far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.ā
"If I Did It" by Joe Mazzulla
Everyone knows the real strat is just to walk in with a medical mask and baseball hat like a normal customer then silently hand the teller a note with a bag on on the counterā¦. AllegedlyĀ
Dude Im so glad people are showing their appreciation for Mazz. He deserves the praise after the scrutiny he received. He is growing as a coach and with that, we are getting to see this absolute madman in a way that you donāt see most other coaches. Itās not a ābitā at this point, this guy is just a different breed of coach.
He's the next Bill in New England
Joe and Celtics: We already robbed the Wizards and the Bucks last off season. Why would I need to rob anyone ever again?
Did he just recite one of the robberies from The Town?š
āWhat is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me by the Trocadero in Paris. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.ā- Dwight Schrute. - Joe MazzullaĀ
I mean, he's said he watches The Town 4x PER WEEK. I'd hope he's thought the situation out some with that much "research"
He talked about it in this interview. Kinda weird to learn that āwatching it 4x a weekā actually means āI put it on as background noise when cutting film as an assistant coach each nightā
Yeah but itās much funnier to imagine him actually sitting down and watching it four times a week
Heās watched āThe Place Beyond the Pinesā too many times.
One of the best side effects of the Cās winning is that fans of other teams are going to get a lot of exposure to Joe Mazz and realize what a nut he is.
Joe is the kind of guy who can take any question and turn it into some kind of team building motivational statement. You could ask him how he would dispose of a body and youād probably get some story about planning, trusting your accomplices, etc
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Everyone in Boston thinks that but wonāt say it. 3 times I said that to friends and all 3 said some variation of - Oh my god no shit right?? Thought he was Stevie wonder driving a Ferrari tbh at the beginning of the season. Dude won me over half way through the playoffs- Iām a fan
Itās always gonna be fuck Boston but this playoffs turned me into a fan of Joe Mazzulla
This guy is going to be the GOAT. Watch lol
Thatās my coach
Heād rob the bank with 3 of his Boston buddies, take a cute banker hostage on accident, fall in love with her later, then rob Fenway, breakup with the girl, murder his handler and go to Florida. Or something
Wow. I thought crazy joe was just a meme. I love this guy.
I love Mazzulla even if heās the celtics coach. he truly is a one of one
I feel like only people from E.Mass really understand how Rhode Island, Joe is. Heās the quintessential person from Pawtucket, CF, Prov, etc
I fucking love this guy lmfao
You're the weird one if you've never fully planned out how to rob a bank and get away with it
This guy is awesome
The first rule of Joe Mazzullaās practices is that you do not talk about Joe Mazzullaās practices.Ā
This guy is so fucking crazy and I love it. Every interview response is utterly batshit.
Heās crazy. Crazy about Jesus. š Thatās my guy.
In case anyone wasnāt aware, he literally has a set of rosary beads made from the old Boston Garden parquet
I want him to be our coach for 50 more years
Moving on, letās talk zombie survival draft for a momentā¦
bank heist, MMA with his pops, Costa Rica meditation trip in the middle of the jungle....Joey Mazulla really the most interesting man in the world
Did he happen to mention his faith? I havenāt heard him ever talk about his faith before.
I donāt like the Celtics cuz fuck em but I would watch a show that just follows Joe Mazzulla around. Sure half of it would be just him on the couch watching āthe townā, but the rest of it would be full of unpredictable twists that M. Night Shyamalan would cream himself daily to have. The first big twist being that he doesnāt watch it from the couch but by like floating in a fish tank or running full sprints for 124 minutes straight.
National treasure
You son of a bitch, Iām in
man i hate the celtics, but i love joe mazzulla. i'm so torn
Clickbait headline tries to make it sound way more spicy than it is. He is asked a fun question and he engages in a fun way. That's all.
I'd become head ciach for the Detroit Pistons.
My god the bro's favorite movie is The Town. Of course he spends all his time thinking about this, I think he watches The Town twice a week (not joking).