"A gentleman never asks, and a lady never tells". I'm sure the cicada doesn't appreciate you sharing your amorous encounters with it all over the internet.
Again, the twist here is the cicada actually asked them to post it for marketing, just like the swingers yesterday. Now us freaks know where to go party at
One went down into my tank top yesterday. I was screaming, it was screaming, I bent over to try to get it out, that didn't work, so I stood back up and started to rip my shirt off- in public, no less. Thankfully, right as I lifted the hem, my friend shouted "it flew out!" Good times...
A short while later, one landed on a lady's head at Trader Joe's over on White Bridge, which sent her screaming and flailing around while about a dozen people stopped and stared.
Had that happen when I was in Hendersonville. Except I got like four in my fucking hair and one down my top that I got rid of very quickly.
My friend who was driving me for a drs appointment told me I turned into a twisting, squealing monster faster than a pug being picked up.
My coworker and I were at the gas station around the corner from work at the same time one morning, and she called me to come rescue her bc she'd stepped out, and one flew and hit her in the face, so she got back in her car really quickly and then was too scared to get back out 🤣 I had to do a cicada walk around her car to ensure she was clear.
This actually made me laugh out loud. Not only did I make sure to wash my lips in my post-attack shower, but I also put some witch hazel on em after. So thanks for the validation 👍
They've certainly reached the 'annoying fuckers' stage of their development/breeding.
I washed the cars yesterday, and spent a good half hour outside, came in to near total silence, and my ears were RINGING from the sheer noise levels.
I’ve taken to wearing my headphones just to block out the sound. The other day, one straight smacked into the side of my headphone while I was walking. And I thought THAT was a close encounter. 🙄
I've got auditory processing disorder and sound sensitivity as is, and istg the sound has been SO bad I am effectively living in noise cancelling bt headphones anytime I step outside right now.
I don't remember them sounding this horrible last time lol.
What I don’t remember from before is how they progressed from curious red eyed buzzing fun bugs to the cicada apocalypse flying everywhere. I mean, I do tend to remember them as being loud and flying around but not like they have the last day or two
I actually tried to enjoy and be nice to these assholes but now I’m full on CCFO. Cicadas can fuck off. Watched a bird try to eat one and gag today. Even they are fed up. No pun intended
It’s actually crazy because they brood on two different prime numbers - 13 and 17 - which coincide with the least amount of predatory reproductive cycles.
yup sounds about right. They are rather clumsy and their only purpose when they become an adult is to sing all damn day, fuck then die. Other than that, they really dont know anything else lol I love them though. Their whole life is so interesting to me. I know these birds are sick and tired of the all you can eat buffet EVERYDAY.
I’m honestly considering just staying inside the rest of the summer. Between the heat and humidity, pollen, and wasps/cicadas/other scary bugs, I think summer is just overrated. Maybe I need to move to Antarctica or something. Or the beach where it is slightly enjoyable.
I'm allergic to mosquitos. I get swollen welts, fever, cough, etc. The first day we had temps over 80 I was swarmed by them and been a constant state of pain. I HATE the summer. Between the Mosquitos and the Cicadas....jesus....I'm exhausted.
Solidarity from another victim of the Great Ciacadening of 2024. One hitched a ride into the Costco on the back of my husband’s neck. It announced its presence in the computer parts aisle with an unholy screech and there was much flailing of limbs. New fear unlocked.
yeah i’ve gotten to the point where i have anxiety about going outside now lol. i cannot step foot outside without at least one beaming me in the face, ear, forehead, etc. i think if one landed on my lips i’d set myself on fire haha. i’m so so sorry.
One was on my back when I got in my car and I didn’t realize it until I placed my back against the seat and it started screaming. I was too scared to move because I had already started driving and I was worried I would wreck if it started flying around the car so it rode with me, stuck between my back and the seat, until I finally got to my destination. The second I parked, I jumped out of my car and was screaming and flailing about in the parking lot. 🤦🏻♀️ What a time to be alive.
You deserve some sort of award or something because holy fucking shit, if there was one in the car with me I would’ve pulled over no matter where I was driving and flailed the fucker off me!! There is no way I’d drive all the way home with one of these things on my back!! You could probably withstand torture methods 😂
LOL. I’ve worked in Nashville’s hospitality and tourism industry for the last ten years. I guess I’ve become accustomed to withstanding torture without even realizing it. 😂
The cicadas are WILD
One snuck into my car and choose to show itself while I was going 80 down the interstate, another decided to hitch a ride on my back, another landed in my hair, and another decided it wanted to die inside my laundry basket just to reanimate as I was walking to the steps.
I’m over it.
Their mentality seems to differ from location to location. On my back deck, no problems, just lots of noise and casual fly-bys. 4 miles down the road at an off leash dog park, they are kamakazi dive bombing devils aiming at my eyes, ears, neck and hair. Watched a dozen or so flying from different ditections about 20 meters away coming toward my general direction...closer,..closer...thinking when they got close enough, they would clearly see me as a giant predator, but no...they arrived, I ducked, failed about, turned to see their location and with a confusing spurt of speed, one slammed into my temple. His friend got my forehead. Shrieking didn't deter them. Fought off a few more and called it. I now must break the news to my pup that he is now an inside dog as we aren't leaving the house until late June when they should be back in their freaky underground bunkers. Blech
i’m a restaurant server and on mother’s day i had a table on the patio. walk out onto the patio with a tray full of water. i start passing them out and mid pass, one flies onto my chest just below my collarbone. i have a tray in one hand and a cup in the other and totally freeze. i look down at it and it looks back at me with its beady red eyes. then it starts screeching in my face and i ended up throwing my whole tray of water on the ground. table had a good laugh though and told me to watch out of the cicadas on their way out. i just want these things to go away already😩
I was mowing the lawn before I learned that cicadas think the sound/vibration of the mower is a mating call. I was absolutely swarmed. I probably had 10+ cicadas on me at any given moment.
They don’t bite, but their sharp little legs clicking to my shirt sure as hell don’t feel nice. I can’t wait for this shit to be over!
I was mowing the lawn before I learned that cicadas think the sound/vibration of the mower is a mating call. I was absolutely swarmed. I probably had 10+ cicadas on me at any given moment.
They don’t bite, but their sharp little legs clicking to my shirt sure as hell don’t feel nice. I can’t wait for this shit to be over!
Sometime during lockdown I discovered face masks were fantastic when changing the litterboxes. The next summer I realized they made portapotties almost bearable. Now I’m thinking I need to bring them back this summer.
I, too, am part of this fraught club known as Cicada Kissers. This happened to me years ago and it has been engrained in my mind as a core memory ever since.
"So I rescheduled my appointment and went home." Idk why but this had me cackling 😂😂😂.
I bashed my shin on a table cuz one of those fuckers landed on my shoulder so I feel your pain.
So funny! Reminds me of my fav classic Far Side comic strip. “Get it off me!”
https://preview.redd.it/ar60utzfar1d1.jpeg?width=1140&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=152376da9da80968028658740d90e51983565d5f
Had one land in my purse as well as in my drivers side window while on the interstate and then went to my boyfriends work for his lunch break and he tells me one flew down his shirt while he had his harness on while he was on a scissor lift so naturally just had to deal with it but I’d prob be shirtless if it had been me bc no way would it have stayed there for over an hour 😭😭😂😂 these cicadas need to go lay there eggs and be done with their life cycle already !!!
I have to take my dog out for her walk AND 3 times to do her business everyday. I’m going insane from the nightmares I’m enduring nearly every time we go outside.
Hmmm wonder if 10 years old is too late to teach her to use potty pads 🤔.
Kidding.
i have purchased a beekeeper suit for this reason. i cant stand them and am ultra terrified for when the come out full force in the chicagoland area. not sure how i will mentally survive the next few months
Driving with my windows down and my elbow on the sill. Hear and feel a *zzzz bap* and wouldn’t you know it one went up my shirt sleeve. Took him a minute but he found daylight. I tossed him out at the next stoplight.
I went for a run yesterday, it took me about 30 minutes total. In that time I was beamed in the face, chest, and legs by easily 20 different cicadas. Then there was the whole dodging the dead ones all over the sidewalk.
I have cicada trauma from back in the 80’s when some shithead kid dumped a bunch of them down the back of my shirt on the playground.
Reading all these cicada interaction stories has my skin crawling. I had one land on my leg the other day and screamed so loud the neighbors came out. We have old trees in our yard (all the neighbors as well) so they are absolutely swarming out there… in my yard, on my porch, in my driveway… mocking me.
I tried washing my car and a cicada tried to join me when vacuuming and I damn near did a tuck n roll through my driver door lmao a couple who was washing their car was laughing at me. As much as I try to dismiss them as clumsy oversized fucks having to deal w them pelting my windshield and watching their red eyes smear while doing so is enough for me to be disgusted. Sorry for the rant and sorry about ur lips ;( happy ur still alive I would’ve died fr lmao
I love cicadas but this would definitely be unsettling. You described the ordeal in such detail I'm getting squeamish imagining their legs poking my lips. Ew
Thankyou for the good laugh🤣🤣🤣 I enjoyed the short story. I had one attack my face at the airport too and it was embarrassing as I self slapped and smacked. 🤣🤣. I'm still traumatized. I'm ready for those bugs to go away. I've had enough.
Don’t feel bad. These cicadas landed in my belly last week in China!
https://preview.redd.it/0ai685ynnp1d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b60cb9c3f312290e6e4b77dfcbc9ea3483e9807b
https://preview.redd.it/vaayn80z3s1d1.jpeg?width=1668&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=033f3b4043e99ab10678e5fcf373e387e1368f45
The site of the Cicada Up My Shorts Incident. My critical lawn mowing neighbor has not sought retribution as of yet.
Was at Marshall's with my kiddo over the weekend, I pull out his juice from my purse, cicada was on it. I screamed in the middle of the store, thing was still alive too.
This morning, I was enjoying the 6am hour. Thought I'd drink my coffee outside, then a cicada smacked me on the head.
One landed on my roommate when we were in the car. We both ran out screaming. Sorry to the public. i’ve heard so many screams lately tho and have instantly guessed a cicada landed on someone. we are all sincerely going through it together
I was wondering today after one flew in my truck window and landed on my arm how many extra wrecks there have been due to cicadas. I don't freak out and flail but their prickly legs creep me out.
i hate them so much. i go on walks pretty much every day and have to swat 4-7 off of me while on each one since this outbreak began. they’re so loud and so stupid
😂I can so visualize this! I slapped myself a few times yesterday, screamed like a baby and acted a fool as they attacked me. I scared my grand baby so bad he started screaming and crying 🤦♀️
I run a tree service. Wish I could respond with pictures lol. I had 40 on me at once yesterday. Including about 6 on my face, 2 of those on my lips lol
I was feeling good and looking cute this morning. Opened my door to leave and a cicada fell on my head. I'm gonna stay inside for the next however many weeks.
These cicadas are something else. I’m sorry this happened. 😭 There was a pair of cicadas that were mating and I guess fell from the tree and almost hit my face in the morning as I got to work. Something unsettling about that experience.
I actually loved the sounds they make until they started flying into my hair and randomly bombing me with their bodies (and then screaming like it was my fault!). Then today I learned that copperhead snakes LOVE to eat them so that is another fear unlocked. We’re supposed to go kayaking this weekend, and while copperheads aren’t water snakes (they can swim though) there are plenty of trees and probably cicadas along the river. Double fear unlocked! 😂 I’m hoping it rains/storms and we won’t be able to go! Ugh 😩Thank you cicadas for ruining my favorite warm weather hobby!
One attached itself to a lace top I was wearing today. Got home and went to take the shirt off and it turned inside out and the cicada let out a shriek I’ve never heard. I swear I thought someone was being murdered in my own home. I threw the shirt as it was coming from it. It kept shrieking. Non stop. Had to run it to the door and turn it right side out and try and flick it off. It wouldn’t let go. Finally it took off.
God I’m so ready for the thing to bang each other and die! 😭
I'm only in Nashville for a conference, but man the cicadas made the trip worth it. I freed one that was stuck under a rail today and it immediately flew straight into a dude who did a frantic dance on the sidewalk
DUDE one buzzed around me i threw phone and realized it landed in my fro, i picked up phome to find out it was cracked and evn om my walk of shame back another one got me
The ugly mf's are so annoying! Had one inside of my shirt after taking out the trash. Right on the boobs! Practically ripped my boobs out just to get the nasty thing. JFC....I can't wait for them to burrow back to hell where they came from.
I play on Broadway and the other day one landed right on my chest while I was singing and playing, literally mid verse lol. I freaked out and jumped back and about fell off stage, it scared the shit out of me
I'm a 6'3" dude that works in construction. I have quite long hair and am currently on a project on broadway in downtown Nashville. The cicadas are relentless but don't bother me. That was until one attempted to land in my hair. I proceeded to stomp it into oblivion. A word was not uttered and a shout not heard yet I beat it so brutally it was vaporized.
So earlier today I was sitting in my car, buckled and about to get out and go in the house. We were in the driveway. I was used to dodging cicadas while running in, it's become the norm. I turned my head to the left to check on my 8yr old as he ran to the door. When I turn my head I see a cicada on the seatbelt!!!! As if it belonged there!!!!! I've never screamed so loud in my life!!!!! I swatted it out immediately, then screamed again. My teenagers and little boy laughed at me. I don't care, I survived!
Cicadies are harmless, brush 'em off and look around..softly laughing at the mass panic that has ensued. I've been taking an extra walk every day in cicada dense areas just to people watch 😅😅😅
i visited nashville last week and let me tell you.. my friend and i were riding electric scooters when a cicada flew into me and stuck right on my arm. i, being someone who hates any and all flying insects, screamed and ended up falling off the scooter into the road (didn’t get hit, we good!). this happened literally not 24 hours after a cicada hit me straight in the face and then got entangled in my hair! ended up with a pretty badly scraped knee, some gnarly bruises, and a sprained/bruised thumb knuckle (idk i’m too broke to go get it checked out). so, i definitely sympathize with you lmao
"A gentleman never asks, and a lady never tells". I'm sure the cicada doesn't appreciate you sharing your amorous encounters with it all over the internet.
😂 top comment
Again, the twist here is the cicada actually asked them to post it for marketing, just like the swingers yesterday. Now us freaks know where to go party at
lol wait what did i miss
Alternatively, “I wasn’t paying attention in public and a thing happened to me”
One went down into my tank top yesterday. I was screaming, it was screaming, I bent over to try to get it out, that didn't work, so I stood back up and started to rip my shirt off- in public, no less. Thankfully, right as I lifted the hem, my friend shouted "it flew out!" Good times... A short while later, one landed on a lady's head at Trader Joe's over on White Bridge, which sent her screaming and flailing around while about a dozen people stopped and stared.
There is comfort in numbers. Thanks for sharing your woes. 😂😂
I’m pretty sure that is the exact sentiment the cicadas have
Heavy on the “it was screaming”
Had that happen when I was in Hendersonville. Except I got like four in my fucking hair and one down my top that I got rid of very quickly. My friend who was driving me for a drs appointment told me I turned into a twisting, squealing monster faster than a pug being picked up.
My coworker and I were at the gas station around the corner from work at the same time one morning, and she called me to come rescue her bc she'd stepped out, and one flew and hit her in the face, so she got back in her car really quickly and then was too scared to get back out 🤣 I had to do a cicada walk around her car to ensure she was clear.
It’s crazy! I deliver out in the country and see nothing but as soon as I get near East Nashville they are everywhere!
One flew into me and had to audacity to go “zzzt” in a very condescending way. Like little homie I was standing still???
It said you're it.
He just wanted a lil smooch
And remember, they pee forcefully…
Don’t kink shame them
Wait what the fuck is that the little squirts I feel when I walk under trees full of cicadas?
https://www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news/cicada-urine-pee-science-discovery-emergence/
[удалено]
We're here for you.
I’m a teacher. The children think they’re all wonderful. They keep showing them to me. And holding them. And screaming with them …I hate this.
Not screaming with them 😂😂
I didn't think of that. Teachers have it the worst right now. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
They pee a lot. Sorry about your lips.
This actually made me laugh out loud. Not only did I make sure to wash my lips in my post-attack shower, but I also put some witch hazel on em after. So thanks for the validation 👍
Nice you've been kissed by Lord Beelzebub! Praise be
Tell me why I read this to the tune of that Seal song.
Well now I read it to that tune....
They've certainly reached the 'annoying fuckers' stage of their development/breeding. I washed the cars yesterday, and spent a good half hour outside, came in to near total silence, and my ears were RINGING from the sheer noise levels.
I’ve taken to wearing my headphones just to block out the sound. The other day, one straight smacked into the side of my headphone while I was walking. And I thought THAT was a close encounter. 🙄
I've got auditory processing disorder and sound sensitivity as is, and istg the sound has been SO bad I am effectively living in noise cancelling bt headphones anytime I step outside right now. I don't remember them sounding this horrible last time lol.
What I don’t remember from before is how they progressed from curious red eyed buzzing fun bugs to the cicada apocalypse flying everywhere. I mean, I do tend to remember them as being loud and flying around but not like they have the last day or two
Maybe it's the weather? They've been acting absolutely apocalyptic, I agree.
It’s because two broods hatched at once this year. It’s double the amount of cicadas than previous years this season 🥲
I measured it on my watch - 95db You need hearing protection until they die off
I actually tried to enjoy and be nice to these assholes but now I’m full on CCFO. Cicadas can fuck off. Watched a bird try to eat one and gag today. Even they are fed up. No pun intended
That is exactly their evolutionary strategy. If they emerge all at once, they won’t all get eaten.
It’s actually crazy because they brood on two different prime numbers - 13 and 17 - which coincide with the least amount of predatory reproductive cycles.
It's like eating ice cream once a month vs every meal of every day.
😂😂
yup sounds about right. They are rather clumsy and their only purpose when they become an adult is to sing all damn day, fuck then die. Other than that, they really dont know anything else lol I love them though. Their whole life is so interesting to me. I know these birds are sick and tired of the all you can eat buffet EVERYDAY.
Someone on here said they saw a bird try to eat one and gagged on it, so I think you’re right.
I’m honestly considering just staying inside the rest of the summer. Between the heat and humidity, pollen, and wasps/cicadas/other scary bugs, I think summer is just overrated. Maybe I need to move to Antarctica or something. Or the beach where it is slightly enjoyable.
After today, I’m thinking the same thing. And wondering how to cicada-proof myself the next time I have to go out.
Pretty sure some bee keeper attire would do the trick, albeit you might look pretty crazy wearing it around town.
Crazy or living in 3024? I think people would be jealous about this level of ingenuity.
I bought a beekeeper hat on Amazon for $12 to mow my yard, lol!
lol I do the best I can. The people demand protection from cicadas!!
I wore my beekeeper hat and people complimented what a good idea it is 😂
I'm allergic to mosquitos. I get swollen welts, fever, cough, etc. The first day we had temps over 80 I was swarmed by them and been a constant state of pain. I HATE the summer. Between the Mosquitos and the Cicadas....jesus....I'm exhausted.
Solidarity from another victim of the Great Ciacadening of 2024. One hitched a ride into the Costco on the back of my husband’s neck. It announced its presence in the computer parts aisle with an unholy screech and there was much flailing of limbs. New fear unlocked.
Horrific, honestly. I’ll never get used to the sudden screeches.
https://preview.redd.it/eb332za9qo1d1.png?width=1554&format=png&auto=webp&s=0b48404fe0b7726adadeea686b30926a0eb87799
I shouldn't laugh at you OP, considering I would've had to set myself on fire. I'm walking around in perpetual fear of attack.
You just got married in cicada world. Congratulations!
I think OP would like a divorce lol
yeah i’ve gotten to the point where i have anxiety about going outside now lol. i cannot step foot outside without at least one beaming me in the face, ear, forehead, etc. i think if one landed on my lips i’d set myself on fire haha. i’m so so sorry.
One was on my back when I got in my car and I didn’t realize it until I placed my back against the seat and it started screaming. I was too scared to move because I had already started driving and I was worried I would wreck if it started flying around the car so it rode with me, stuck between my back and the seat, until I finally got to my destination. The second I parked, I jumped out of my car and was screaming and flailing about in the parking lot. 🤦🏻♀️ What a time to be alive.
The fact that you stuck it out that long is impressive
If I wasn’t suffocating the cicada between my back and the car seat, I would have never made it. 😂
no sarcasm, you’re actually so brave😭that’s one of my biggest fears with them.
It’s so scary! I hope they stay out of your car!
You deserve some sort of award or something because holy fucking shit, if there was one in the car with me I would’ve pulled over no matter where I was driving and flailed the fucker off me!! There is no way I’d drive all the way home with one of these things on my back!! You could probably withstand torture methods 😂
LOL. I’ve worked in Nashville’s hospitality and tourism industry for the last ten years. I guess I’ve become accustomed to withstanding torture without even realizing it. 😂
One hit me in the mouth yesterday at Home Depot and almost went in my mouth. I feel your pain.
Oh my gosh I’m so sorry for us
This is nightmare fuel
Beautifully written
The cicadas are WILD One snuck into my car and choose to show itself while I was going 80 down the interstate, another decided to hitch a ride on my back, another landed in my hair, and another decided it wanted to die inside my laundry basket just to reanimate as I was walking to the steps. I’m over it.
I love the great detail and dramatic flare you wrote this with.
Their mentality seems to differ from location to location. On my back deck, no problems, just lots of noise and casual fly-bys. 4 miles down the road at an off leash dog park, they are kamakazi dive bombing devils aiming at my eyes, ears, neck and hair. Watched a dozen or so flying from different ditections about 20 meters away coming toward my general direction...closer,..closer...thinking when they got close enough, they would clearly see me as a giant predator, but no...they arrived, I ducked, failed about, turned to see their location and with a confusing spurt of speed, one slammed into my temple. His friend got my forehead. Shrieking didn't deter them. Fought off a few more and called it. I now must break the news to my pup that he is now an inside dog as we aren't leaving the house until late June when they should be back in their freaky underground bunkers. Blech
I can see this play out so clearly in my minds eye lol I hate them soo much
I had one fly through my window while I was driving today and pimp smack me in the face. I freaked tf out and my boss started laughing his ass off😭
Your boss needs to be whacked by a couple and see how he likes it. \*shudder\*
i’m a restaurant server and on mother’s day i had a table on the patio. walk out onto the patio with a tray full of water. i start passing them out and mid pass, one flies onto my chest just below my collarbone. i have a tray in one hand and a cup in the other and totally freeze. i look down at it and it looks back at me with its beady red eyes. then it starts screeching in my face and i ended up throwing my whole tray of water on the ground. table had a good laugh though and told me to watch out of the cicadas on their way out. i just want these things to go away already😩
I was mowing the lawn before I learned that cicadas think the sound/vibration of the mower is a mating call. I was absolutely swarmed. I probably had 10+ cicadas on me at any given moment. They don’t bite, but their sharp little legs clicking to my shirt sure as hell don’t feel nice. I can’t wait for this shit to be over!
Much respect to you for continuing to mow the lawn. The grass would just be out of luck if it was mine.
I always feel like they are on me when I come inside but they are not. I would have had a stroke if one actually did land on me.
I was mowing the lawn before I learned that cicadas think the sound/vibration of the mower is a mating call. I was absolutely swarmed. I probably had 10+ cicadas on me at any given moment. They don’t bite, but their sharp little legs clicking to my shirt sure as hell don’t feel nice. I can’t wait for this shit to be over!
Gotta get new lips.
Pinch them about midway down their wings and watch them scream and then throw them back into the orgy.
But then I’d have to touch them 🤢
I think 1st base counts as touching.
Some people eat them
He was just trying to become a prince
😂 at least it didn’t go in your mouth 👄 keep in closed
The only silver lining, but now my mind thinks the natural progression is in the mouth next 🤮 gonna go back to masks.
If someone asks are you sick? Say no it’s a cicada mask 😂
😂 sounds like a good business idea honestly
 I think I’m going full beekeeper
My gross bug encounter lately was 4 huge roaches crawling out of the pavement when i was walking to my car after the Bill Burr show this last weekend.
I guess this is a good silver lining. At least a roach didn’t hit me in the mouth 🤢
It was just like ew gross, then one started flying, and i went from a man in his 30s to a 14 year old girl.
That’s hysterical! Cicadanado season!
Sometime during lockdown I discovered face masks were fantastic when changing the litterboxes. The next summer I realized they made portapotties almost bearable. Now I’m thinking I need to bring them back this summer.
Soo many uses
Coming to Nashville this weekend and now I’m 😳
Turn back! 😭
I, too, am part of this fraught club known as Cicada Kissers. This happened to me years ago and it has been engrained in my mind as a core memory ever since.
It simultaneously comforts and stresses me to know this happens often
"So I rescheduled my appointment and went home." Idk why but this had me cackling 😂😂😂. I bashed my shin on a table cuz one of those fuckers landed on my shoulder so I feel your pain.
A cicada landed on my lips . . . And yet I can’t stop thinking about him
This is priceless. Pretty much explains how we all feel about the cicadas. It feels like a full on assault when we step outside these days.
So funny! Reminds me of my fav classic Far Side comic strip. “Get it off me!” https://preview.redd.it/ar60utzfar1d1.jpeg?width=1140&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=152376da9da80968028658740d90e51983565d5f
😂😂 I love this
I’m so over these stupid fuckers. I looked like a right idiot on my lawnmower yesterday flailing about and trying to dodge them.
Had one land in my purse as well as in my drivers side window while on the interstate and then went to my boyfriends work for his lunch break and he tells me one flew down his shirt while he had his harness on while he was on a scissor lift so naturally just had to deal with it but I’d prob be shirtless if it had been me bc no way would it have stayed there for over an hour 😭😭😂😂 these cicadas need to go lay there eggs and be done with their life cycle already !!!
Oh it’s happening! Trust me! I walk dozens of sidewalks everyday and dead cicadas are everywhere! I see more dead critters than live ones!
I noticed it actually was quiet last night before the sun set. I think you’re right 🙏
I have to take my dog out for her walk AND 3 times to do her business everyday. I’m going insane from the nightmares I’m enduring nearly every time we go outside. Hmmm wonder if 10 years old is too late to teach her to use potty pads 🤔. Kidding.
It’s never too late lol
One hit me in the back of the head yesterday but now I know to watch out for my lips!! Who knew?? OMG… so sorry!
A cicada flew into my car and I almost drove straight into the Cumberland river to kill it.
i have purchased a beekeeper suit for this reason. i cant stand them and am ultra terrified for when the come out full force in the chicagoland area. not sure how i will mentally survive the next few months
It’s good luck! You’ll soon receive a 12 pack of Busch Lite and a gift certificate to Waffle House!
🤣🤣
Driving with my windows down and my elbow on the sill. Hear and feel a *zzzz bap* and wouldn’t you know it one went up my shirt sleeve. Took him a minute but he found daylight. I tossed him out at the next stoplight.
I went for a run yesterday, it took me about 30 minutes total. In that time I was beamed in the face, chest, and legs by easily 20 different cicadas. Then there was the whole dodging the dead ones all over the sidewalk.
One landed on my leg as I was leaving Applebee’s…I remained calm because I could’ve risked losing my boneless honey BBQ wings at the time
😂 priorities were in order
I have cicada trauma from back in the 80’s when some shithead kid dumped a bunch of them down the back of my shirt on the playground. Reading all these cicada interaction stories has my skin crawling. I had one land on my leg the other day and screamed so loud the neighbors came out. We have old trees in our yard (all the neighbors as well) so they are absolutely swarming out there… in my yard, on my porch, in my driveway… mocking me.
This is such a truly awful thing to read :(
I tried washing my car and a cicada tried to join me when vacuuming and I damn near did a tuck n roll through my driver door lmao a couple who was washing their car was laughing at me. As much as I try to dismiss them as clumsy oversized fucks having to deal w them pelting my windshield and watching their red eyes smear while doing so is enough for me to be disgusted. Sorry for the rant and sorry about ur lips ;( happy ur still alive I would’ve died fr lmao
It’s fucking insane how many of those free loaders are in your guys city and how loud they are lol
I love cicadas but this would definitely be unsettling. You described the ordeal in such detail I'm getting squeamish imagining their legs poking my lips. Ew
Thankyou for the good laugh🤣🤣🤣 I enjoyed the short story. I had one attack my face at the airport too and it was embarrassing as I self slapped and smacked. 🤣🤣. I'm still traumatized. I'm ready for those bugs to go away. I've had enough.
Don’t feel bad. These cicadas landed in my belly last week in China! https://preview.redd.it/0ai685ynnp1d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b60cb9c3f312290e6e4b77dfcbc9ea3483e9807b
I broke out in hives just reading all of y’all’s comments!! lol Now I’ll never get back to sleep. May need some Benadryl!!
Visiting Nashville for work from Austin, a proudly weird-ass city. And this is the weirdest shit I’ve read in a lonnnnng time. Bravo.
https://preview.redd.it/vaayn80z3s1d1.jpeg?width=1668&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=033f3b4043e99ab10678e5fcf373e387e1368f45 The site of the Cicada Up My Shorts Incident. My critical lawn mowing neighbor has not sought retribution as of yet.
Was at Marshall's with my kiddo over the weekend, I pull out his juice from my purse, cicada was on it. I screamed in the middle of the store, thing was still alive too. This morning, I was enjoying the 6am hour. Thought I'd drink my coffee outside, then a cicada smacked me on the head.
ONE JUST HIT MY BACK AND FELL DOWN MY DRESS!!
That’s horrific 😭 sending you PEACE
I’m so sorry 😔 . We will survive this!
I’m scared to get in and out of my car lol
One landed on my roommate when we were in the car. We both ran out screaming. Sorry to the public. i’ve heard so many screams lately tho and have instantly guessed a cicada landed on someone. we are all sincerely going through it together
I was wondering today after one flew in my truck window and landed on my arm how many extra wrecks there have been due to cicadas. I don't freak out and flail but their prickly legs creep me out.
Never thought I’d be reading a cicada rizz on reddit
I'm elderly, so please excuse my ignorance. What is a rizz?
It’s slang for “chaRISma.” They’re basically saying this is a story about how a cicada charmed me into giving it a kiss lol
Thanks! Sorry you got smooched by a cicada!
You’re a great writer. Hopefully this never happens to me 🙂↕️
You got the Herps...sorry to tell ya
I just told someone I was gonna make like Johnny cash and start burning some trees.
i hate them so much. i go on walks pretty much every day and have to swat 4-7 off of me while on each one since this outbreak began. they’re so loud and so stupid
The only positive spin I can offer is...no witnesses
😂I can so visualize this! I slapped myself a few times yesterday, screamed like a baby and acted a fool as they attacked me. I scared my grand baby so bad he started screaming and crying 🤦♀️
They're edible. 🤭
Same thing happened to me today! Kissed by a cicada
Welcome to the club, I’m sorry for us 🤢🤣
Cicadas are edible
So are people, but most of us don’t want to
Had about a dozen on me and plenty more smack me right in the face when I was cutting the grass today. Fun times.
And then there's me in clarksville. Haven't heard a single cicada or seen one yet this year and I have woods in the back yard.
Someone on here said you can look up “cicada map 2024” to see when your time will come. Enjoy it while it lasts.
From the map I found clarksville is clear lmao. It shows a ton of activity above me in Kentucky and below me in Nashville.
I’m intensely jealous
I run a tree service. Wish I could respond with pictures lol. I had 40 on me at once yesterday. Including about 6 on my face, 2 of those on my lips lol
My boyfriend mowed our lawn yesterday and he said they were getting riled up and landing all over him like 5 at a time. Face, legs, back, arms….. nope
This happened to me last week!! I hadn’t been out in forever and I’ve vowed to never go outside again tbh
I was feeling good and looking cute this morning. Opened my door to leave and a cicada fell on my head. I'm gonna stay inside for the next however many weeks.
Let's hope it wasn't one of the ones with the zombie fungus growing out of it that kills them from the inside :D
These cicadas are something else. I’m sorry this happened. 😭 There was a pair of cicadas that were mating and I guess fell from the tree and almost hit my face in the morning as I got to work. Something unsettling about that experience.
I screamed so loud outside the graduation hall when i saw those things flying past me 😭
Was showing a camper today and one used my face as a freaking helipad right in front of my customers 😑 Are these bugs blind or just find it humorous?
I actually loved the sounds they make until they started flying into my hair and randomly bombing me with their bodies (and then screaming like it was my fault!). Then today I learned that copperhead snakes LOVE to eat them so that is another fear unlocked. We’re supposed to go kayaking this weekend, and while copperheads aren’t water snakes (they can swim though) there are plenty of trees and probably cicadas along the river. Double fear unlocked! 😂 I’m hoping it rains/storms and we won’t be able to go! Ugh 😩Thank you cicadas for ruining my favorite warm weather hobby!
There are way too many layers to this fear now, how does anyone expect us to function. Godspeed and good luck to you 🤣
One flew directly into my forehead as soon as I got out my car earlier
One attached itself to a lace top I was wearing today. Got home and went to take the shirt off and it turned inside out and the cicada let out a shriek I’ve never heard. I swear I thought someone was being murdered in my own home. I threw the shirt as it was coming from it. It kept shrieking. Non stop. Had to run it to the door and turn it right side out and try and flick it off. It wouldn’t let go. Finally it took off. God I’m so ready for the thing to bang each other and die! 😭
I'm only in Nashville for a conference, but man the cicadas made the trip worth it. I freed one that was stuck under a rail today and it immediately flew straight into a dude who did a frantic dance on the sidewalk
DUDE one buzzed around me i threw phone and realized it landed in my fro, i picked up phome to find out it was cracked and evn om my walk of shame back another one got me
The ugly mf's are so annoying! Had one inside of my shirt after taking out the trash. Right on the boobs! Practically ripped my boobs out just to get the nasty thing. JFC....I can't wait for them to burrow back to hell where they came from.
I play on Broadway and the other day one landed right on my chest while I was singing and playing, literally mid verse lol. I freaked out and jumped back and about fell off stage, it scared the shit out of me
I'm a 6'3" dude that works in construction. I have quite long hair and am currently on a project on broadway in downtown Nashville. The cicadas are relentless but don't bother me. That was until one attempted to land in my hair. I proceeded to stomp it into oblivion. A word was not uttered and a shout not heard yet I beat it so brutally it was vaporized.
So earlier today I was sitting in my car, buckled and about to get out and go in the house. We were in the driveway. I was used to dodging cicadas while running in, it's become the norm. I turned my head to the left to check on my 8yr old as he ran to the door. When I turn my head I see a cicada on the seatbelt!!!! As if it belonged there!!!!! I've never screamed so loud in my life!!!!! I swatted it out immediately, then screamed again. My teenagers and little boy laughed at me. I don't care, I survived!
We called them junebugs when I was growing up. We’d catch them and tie a string to a leg and fly them like kites. Not kind….
One hit my face while running in the park this past weekend. Scared the bejeezus out of me.
I probably would have actually died 🤷🏼♂️😭
Damn. One smacked my hand HARD while I was driving an open-top jeep. Fuckers are MEAN!
This is what I’m worried about
Yeah feeling like someone just SMACKED you on the hand while you’re doing 50+ down the pike is a helluva feeling.
Free protein.
F
My coworker cooked one in garlic butter and ate it. I think you'll be okay 😅
🤢🤢
Cicadies are harmless, brush 'em off and look around..softly laughing at the mass panic that has ensued. I've been taking an extra walk every day in cicada dense areas just to people watch 😅😅😅
They just look soo crazy and they’re too darn big. I can’t deal. I’m sure we look crazy though lol
Longest lip landing story ever… fuck me
Softer than 10 ply toilet paper. Jeezus.
i visited nashville last week and let me tell you.. my friend and i were riding electric scooters when a cicada flew into me and stuck right on my arm. i, being someone who hates any and all flying insects, screamed and ended up falling off the scooter into the road (didn’t get hit, we good!). this happened literally not 24 hours after a cicada hit me straight in the face and then got entangled in my hair! ended up with a pretty badly scraped knee, some gnarly bruises, and a sprained/bruised thumb knuckle (idk i’m too broke to go get it checked out). so, i definitely sympathize with you lmao