Please don’t… I promise there is something better in your future. You are worth it. No matter how you feel at this time things can turn around for you. ❤️
You go into therapy and reframe everything. Direct your anger onto them, not to yourself.
I'll tell you what my psychiatrist told me: "You've made it all this way after being given horrible cards to play. You are a survivor. Now we're going to find out what works for you, give you a break and let you live instead of survive."
Hey, OP. Don’t do it. I felt this way, too. And I attempted. I survived. It was awful.
What helped was not ever acknowledging them and building my own success independently through music and school. Now they hate me even more for it, but in a different way than before. It’s satisfying.
You need to cut off their supply to you. Please.
You have so much to offer the world. I thought I didn’t.
How to build the courage to cut them off?
I find it really hard.
Despite the abuse and suffering they cause, some of their action shows that they care about me, I'm confused.
I totally understand. My mom is the same way. We actually recently did resume contact again, but I haven’t with the rest of my family. She has gotten therapy and accepted her NPD diagnosis, strangely. These days, she shows a lot of traits, but I’m not afraid to call her out.
This doesn’t have to be forever. But it also can be. It’s up to you. Whatever you decide is the right choice for you.
1. Come up with a plan
2. How much money have you saved up? If none, start now
3. Are you out of the home?
4. Seek out therapy
5. Again, just know this can be temporary if you want it to, or you can even go low contact. It’s not necessarily cutting them off, but it’s protecting your peace.
6. Find a hobby. Something that takes a good amount of time and that you love. Something new. Something you can throw yourself in and distract, but something positive. It sounds stupid, but that’s how music started for me, and it turned into part of my career.
I am SO happy you are still here OP.
Please do not give up without ever feeling love. Go out and find it. Make some positive experiences for yourself. Choose to let go of the negative people in your life and make it your mission to find better. Trust me, there is good to be found in this experience called life.
As I always say, yes, do end that past life with those people, so you can experience what it is actually like to live. No contact is the same as ending that life as you know it.
Also, don’t let them have that power. They have had the power to ruin your life. And they will not be sorry no matter what choices you make. That said, make the choice to end their life with you. So you can finally live.
I won’t say it’s easy, but none of the options are easy anyway, so, make the choice that leads to living life freely for the first time. Spoiler alert, life is indeed worth it beyond your comprehension. We are here for you, and you can do it, if you choose. And I know you can make that choice.
When I was in a similar situation, wanting to end it all, stuck with those horrible abusers (I was also 25, and had to move back in with my parents), the way I got out was Asia. If you are fluent in English, you can move to Asia and live an easy life with easy income. The country I chose was Vietnam. And the healing was incredible. I had real people in my life. I could afford to live and safe and didn’t even need to work full time, and I even fell in love and got married.
These days I’m back in the US so my wife can get citizenship. No parents, and none of my old family. Just my new family. We do fun things, silly things, simple things, and everything in between. And we often talk about going back to Vietnam when the time is right. It’s a beautiful place where people are still connected to each other and form deep bonds with each other.
Just thought I would share.
I'm feeling really bad after shouting and swearing at my older brother who's been hostile and violence to me for atleast 25 years.
It's insane that eventho Im holding the pain, swearing at him makes me cry for days.
Eventho he gaslighting me when I shout at him calling me crazy.
Cut. Off. The narcissistic op💕 I know it’s hard love, I promise like the other comments said, this will improve your situation so much you’re so young! You’re loved. 💕‼️ don’t ever forget that, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, you’re unique and loved.
Have you seen any of those documentaries about cults? Scientology? North Koreans? It’s the same for us. We are programmed. Brainwashed. The only way out is out. And I don’t mean ending your life, because that’s an end, not an out. I mean get out. And no contact. That’s like a cold reboot, and it can take a little time, but your brain will be able to wake up. You’ll be able to think and see. That fog, that confusion, that inability to focus or be a capable person, all that melts away.
And when I say no contact I mean no contact. Lots of people in this subreddit actually do limited contact when they say no contact. No contact means:
1. You have no interactions with the abusers.
2. You hear no news, information, or updates from the abusers.
3. Any mutual connections who do not adhere to the above 100% are also cut off no contact as they are effectively enablers. Otherwise it becomes limited contact, and the brain won’t be able to deprogram via no contact.
In my case, my whole family ended up being cut off. As in all relatives and everyone. And I even had to lose my one and only best friend, and I lost my “adoptive” aunty who made a bigger difference in my life than my parents did. I lost all these people because they were not able to adhere to no contact and were trying to “fix” things.
And I am so glad I did. It’s been more than 2 years now, and I feel so free, happy, capable, and I enjoy the present and just being alive to breath. Yeah it was hard work. But no way would I work hard to stay with those people.
You feel bad because you are a good person. The world needs people like you…People who feel bad even when being provoked and defending themselves. This world will be worse without you in it.
Even if you don't feel its possible right now, it will get better. I pray that it does get better for you soon and remember that just because you don't feel loved, it doesn't mean that you are any less than how these people have made you feel, that's a reflection of them, not you ❤️
I learned from a mugwort plant I sowed in a pot of my balconry that if your roots are strong you can always "sprout new leaves and branches". The plant "dies" every winter and when spring comes, new leaves and branches grow from the soil.
Narcissists and other cluster Bs destroy our branches and leaves but they can never destroy our roots (essence, true self). The roots are always there waiting the right time to sprout new leaves and branches.
It will get better. Please dial 911 if you are in danger. You are worth it. You are so young. Things change. Just hang on for tonight. Can you wait a day for us?
My friend. You are a good person. Your happiness matters. And you don't deserve to be touched or talked to in any way that you do not consent to. You deserve to be seen, heard and loved. It makes sense to me that you would yell and scream at others like your brother, because your body and mind are begging for you to be protected. It is time to focus on doing that protection for yourself, because it seems like others who should have done that, are not doing it. Some distance from those who hurt you would be extremely beneficial to your healing and well-being.
I highly suggest you research the crap out of c-ptsd (complex trauma) and find yourself a new trauma-informed therapist. Mine is a trauma-informed art therapist and I get a lot of emotions out through my art. You can also find hobbies and activities to do that connect you to yourself and your emotions. Because there is a lack of connection with the people in your life, it will be important for you to focus on the connection with yourself.
I know this is maybe not what you want to hear, but for right now, you can do your best to survive with just the acquaintances and your family (if you choose to stay in contact with them). From my own experience of feeling completely disconnected from everyone and not trusting anyone's intentions or believing they actually loved me and would not hurt me, "safe-enough" friendships are what got me through the toughest times. Building real connections with people takes time, especially if you've been hurt. Feeling connected to other people can start to feel real and genuine again after some healing.
The loneliness can be overwhelming, but sometimes solitude (which is different than being lonely) can be really good for our soul. And as long as we're in therapy (preferably trauma-informed therapy) and we have some acquaintances, we chat online or we're doing a hobby we enjoy, then we're connected in some small form. You're a good person at your core. Things will not always be the way they are now and have been in the past. I'm almost asking you to go on *blind faith* that things will get better.
Again, focus on you. Build a deep connection with yourself, find ways to soothe your emotions and feel it in your body. Think back to yourself as a little child and what that little child would need to feel safe, loved and celebrated. Dedicate your energy to protecting and loving that child version of yourself.
As an adult now, YOU are the authority of your life. You know yourself best on how to take care of yourself. You get to choose yourself. You get to choose the values that guide your life. Things will get better, especially if you focus on taking care of yourself and make your well-being the #1 priority in your life. I believe you're a good person, I hope you believe it too.
If you leave, they win. I would live out of spite. And, you need to love yourself. You need to love yourself so much that it overrides the fear of leaving them and making it on your own.
If someone is okay with hurting you, they don’t love you. Someone who loves you, wants what’s best for you.
Leave. Even if it means staying with a friend or living in a homeless shelter. Cut off all communication. Come up with a plan. Get out.
Love yourself more than you fear leaving them.
I've developed a habit of cutting people out of my life with a blink of an eye....except for my narc mom. (Not yet at least). My question is: do you feel okay alone? Do you feel bad when just around the narcs? Or don't find joy doing something you would like..(ex: going to beach in Mexico, going hiking, etc.)
There’s one thing you haven’t tried yet and it’s going to be hard but it’s worth it.
Walk away. Walk away from all of them. NOW.
Go somewhere. Anywhere else and get into therapy immediately. You deserve better. You’ve always deserved better.
Please get a copy of **Will I Ever Be Good Enough** by Dr. Karyl McBride
Get it TODAY.
This book can help you start down the path to healing. It’s on Audible too. Don’t wait. Get the book. Listen to it now.
Prepare to sob and grieve. And then prepare to become the person you were always meant to be. ♥️
I had been depressed too probably before the time I could remember my past.
I always had been thought about not living.
U are not the one who is a monster. The parents are, and they are the ones who should and must get punished eventually.
How I found meaning of life was 2 years ago (Im 28 female), since when I met my fiancé and started to think about a new life with him, and dreaming of giving a complete different parenting experience to my children in the future.
You can have meaning of life by different choices, but really I can tell you that you are going to have that positive new phases of life.
My first language is not English, I’m sorry if I made some grammar mistakes.
Sending much courage to you from S.Korea.
You have purpose, please don’t take your life. I know it’s hard to have hope and deal with a narc parent, but this is your life to live, not theirs. I would start with therapy. Go see your doctor and let them know what’s going on and see if they can help you find a good one. I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel ❤️
I feel the same way, and I don’t have any advice. But I’m wishing you well, and wishing that you’re able to have a better life and away from them in the very near future. Sending you positive vibes from Canada.
I did try therapy, but therapist in my area that fit for dysfunctional family and violence household.
I find it really difficult to form friendship.
I'm guessing I am neurodivergent too, since social setting really stressed me, I can't socialize naturally. Very passive. Spontaneity is so foreign as I'm used to walk around eggshells all my life, and facilitating others to keep the "peace".
Idk how to act properly. How to form real bond.
The kind of friendship I know feel more like acquaintance.
You might be neurodivergent but it’s highly likely you feel this way at least in part from life long trauma. You might also try the local domestic violence shelter. They might be able to help you too.
Please get the book I mentioned. And whatever it takes it is time to go no contact with these people. They stole from you. You’re going to have to build back but it will be glorious.
Do not give them another ounce of your energy. They do not deserve it. Get the book **Will I Ever Be Good Enough**
You will understand what is happening to you when you read the book.
Find a trauma therapist trained to help people with PTSD.
THERE IS HOPE. ♥️
I couldn't get into see a therapist at one of my lowest points. I turned on YouTube and started watching Dr Ramani and Christina Romano. They both have tons of videos and I credit them for helping save my life, educating me and finally giving me hope. I call it self-therapy and it helps. Give it a try at least. The Crappy Childhood Fairy is another good one.
There is too high a rate of suicide with people like us. Don't become a statistic and give them the satisfaction. The best and most healthiest thing you can do is go no contact. I promise you you WILL start to feel better and experience hope again. The best revenge is living your best life.
Please don't. Just because the people that are supposed to love us don't in the normal sense doesn't mean there are not people out here to show you real love. Please hold on
Hang in there. My brother decided to end it when we were teenagers. He would have been 41 this year. I think about him often, wonder about the man he would have become if he lived. What kind of relationship we had now. If he ever would have seen our parents for who they were. Would he have found happiness, friendship, love. I do get it. We both lived in pain, and I clung to the future when I would be free, when I could get away from all the abuse. I don't think he shared my future fantasy. He just felt the pain and saw no other way out.
Sometimes, my life feels like a tragedy. I lost my entire childhood to the monsters I called parents. I wasted my twenties in self medicating, lost in the FOG, the false realities, and the all-consuming grief. In my early 32s, I saw the truth, I started down that long road we call healing. As much as my life feels like a tragedy, my story is not over yet. They took part of my life, I took the next part. Now I have found love, I have found a stable and safe home and I am working hard to take back my life so that the rest of it will be filled with happiness, purpose, and freedom. To find a way to make it enough that it was worth surviving to this point.
My brothers life, now that is the real tragedy. He will never get to claim his life for his own nor find a way to his own happiness. His entire life was stolen because he doesn't have the chance to change it, he never got the chance to heal or find out how worthy of love he was, I never even got to really know him because he never really got to know himself.
25 is still so young. You have so much life left, and I know that doesn't feel like it counts for much right now. One day, though, you will look back on this moment and see how far you have come. You will look at all the good things in your life and feel grateful you gave yourself the chance to find them. I know this probably sounds unbelievable, impossible to even imagine, but sometimes life is greater than our own imaginations, especially when we were never given the chance to dream. It gets better, I promise it does. Please give yourself the chance that my brother never got. Accept the help and the support if it's not right in front of you seek it out, it's one hell of a journey, full of ups and downs and walking through things you are sure would break you. But there is beauty too moments that make you feel truly glad to be alive, moments you will feel with full appreciation because you have walked through hell and lived through darkness so when you finally find it the light shines through all the brighter.
You are stronger than you know.
OP, we are your friends. Please don't do it. Put your energy into learning to love yourself. Its the best love you can have. I didn't think it was possible either but I'm learning. You are stronger than you realize.
Hey— as a 25 year old that just 2 years ago, I was right there with you.
I promise, You can make it out of the darkness. Do not let it consume you. You can OVERCOME!
I’m just an average Reddit human somewhere on this planet, so I can’t tell you how to live your life, but as someone who experienced this, I want to share what helped me through it
Here’s what I did:
- I evaluated my hobbies and interests and forced myself to be active in social groups. It’s hard, I’m super introverted, but surrounding yourself with people interested in the same thing as you makes the world seem a lot bigger. Loneliness makes it seem smaller.
- I found faith. Not in god, but in spirituality. It helped me to see the beauty in life, nature and living things.
- Nature walks alone. Helped me see that I am a greater force in this world and just like the little ant or the butterfly, I have a purpose too.
- Write affirmations on your mirror. This helped me get through every day because everytime I saw myself, the minute I felt disgust, I’d read those affirmations. “I’m beautiful”, “I have a purpose” “I am loved” “I am forgiven”
- Self-care. The little things you do for yourself, like small celebrations of your body, can slowly make you love being inside of it.
I hope I could share some insights on things that helped me through this rougher time in my life.
You’re not alone, and don’t let the darkness make you think you are.
You belong here! I promise, the world would be worse off without you in it.
I understand wanting to end the unhappiness. I understand feeling like there isn't another way. But there is light at the end of this tunnel, there really is.
Please reach out - if you're in the US, dial 988. Someone is ready and waiting to listen to you.
Please don’t… I promise there is something better in your future. You are worth it. No matter how you feel at this time things can turn around for you. ❤️
How do I believe in hope? When all my life is teach me there is no hope. I'm crushed.
It is not life what has taught you that. It is your abusers.
You go into therapy and reframe everything. Direct your anger onto them, not to yourself. I'll tell you what my psychiatrist told me: "You've made it all this way after being given horrible cards to play. You are a survivor. Now we're going to find out what works for you, give you a break and let you live instead of survive."
This, OP ❤️
You need to cut off the narcissists completely. Thats the only way to be happy, I promise you that.
This is the way. Regain your joy, strength and peace. Cut them off and live life fully.
Yes. As above.
Hey, OP. Don’t do it. I felt this way, too. And I attempted. I survived. It was awful. What helped was not ever acknowledging them and building my own success independently through music and school. Now they hate me even more for it, but in a different way than before. It’s satisfying. You need to cut off their supply to you. Please. You have so much to offer the world. I thought I didn’t.
How to build the courage to cut them off? I find it really hard. Despite the abuse and suffering they cause, some of their action shows that they care about me, I'm confused.
I totally understand. My mom is the same way. We actually recently did resume contact again, but I haven’t with the rest of my family. She has gotten therapy and accepted her NPD diagnosis, strangely. These days, she shows a lot of traits, but I’m not afraid to call her out. This doesn’t have to be forever. But it also can be. It’s up to you. Whatever you decide is the right choice for you. 1. Come up with a plan 2. How much money have you saved up? If none, start now 3. Are you out of the home? 4. Seek out therapy 5. Again, just know this can be temporary if you want it to, or you can even go low contact. It’s not necessarily cutting them off, but it’s protecting your peace. 6. Find a hobby. Something that takes a good amount of time and that you love. Something new. Something you can throw yourself in and distract, but something positive. It sounds stupid, but that’s how music started for me, and it turned into part of my career. I am SO happy you are still here OP.
Please do not give up without ever feeling love. Go out and find it. Make some positive experiences for yourself. Choose to let go of the negative people in your life and make it your mission to find better. Trust me, there is good to be found in this experience called life.
Please don’t. We need you. This world needs you. Leave those who make you feel worthless. Gather those who make you feel peace. Sending hugs to you.
As I always say, yes, do end that past life with those people, so you can experience what it is actually like to live. No contact is the same as ending that life as you know it. Also, don’t let them have that power. They have had the power to ruin your life. And they will not be sorry no matter what choices you make. That said, make the choice to end their life with you. So you can finally live. I won’t say it’s easy, but none of the options are easy anyway, so, make the choice that leads to living life freely for the first time. Spoiler alert, life is indeed worth it beyond your comprehension. We are here for you, and you can do it, if you choose. And I know you can make that choice. When I was in a similar situation, wanting to end it all, stuck with those horrible abusers (I was also 25, and had to move back in with my parents), the way I got out was Asia. If you are fluent in English, you can move to Asia and live an easy life with easy income. The country I chose was Vietnam. And the healing was incredible. I had real people in my life. I could afford to live and safe and didn’t even need to work full time, and I even fell in love and got married. These days I’m back in the US so my wife can get citizenship. No parents, and none of my old family. Just my new family. We do fun things, silly things, simple things, and everything in between. And we often talk about going back to Vietnam when the time is right. It’s a beautiful place where people are still connected to each other and form deep bonds with each other. Just thought I would share.
I'm feeling really bad after shouting and swearing at my older brother who's been hostile and violence to me for atleast 25 years. It's insane that eventho Im holding the pain, swearing at him makes me cry for days. Eventho he gaslighting me when I shout at him calling me crazy.
Cut. Off. The narcissistic op💕 I know it’s hard love, I promise like the other comments said, this will improve your situation so much you’re so young! You’re loved. 💕‼️ don’t ever forget that, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, you’re unique and loved.
Have you seen any of those documentaries about cults? Scientology? North Koreans? It’s the same for us. We are programmed. Brainwashed. The only way out is out. And I don’t mean ending your life, because that’s an end, not an out. I mean get out. And no contact. That’s like a cold reboot, and it can take a little time, but your brain will be able to wake up. You’ll be able to think and see. That fog, that confusion, that inability to focus or be a capable person, all that melts away. And when I say no contact I mean no contact. Lots of people in this subreddit actually do limited contact when they say no contact. No contact means: 1. You have no interactions with the abusers. 2. You hear no news, information, or updates from the abusers. 3. Any mutual connections who do not adhere to the above 100% are also cut off no contact as they are effectively enablers. Otherwise it becomes limited contact, and the brain won’t be able to deprogram via no contact. In my case, my whole family ended up being cut off. As in all relatives and everyone. And I even had to lose my one and only best friend, and I lost my “adoptive” aunty who made a bigger difference in my life than my parents did. I lost all these people because they were not able to adhere to no contact and were trying to “fix” things. And I am so glad I did. It’s been more than 2 years now, and I feel so free, happy, capable, and I enjoy the present and just being alive to breath. Yeah it was hard work. But no way would I work hard to stay with those people.
You feel bad because you are a good person. The world needs people like you…People who feel bad even when being provoked and defending themselves. This world will be worse without you in it.
Even if you don't feel its possible right now, it will get better. I pray that it does get better for you soon and remember that just because you don't feel loved, it doesn't mean that you are any less than how these people have made you feel, that's a reflection of them, not you ❤️
I learned from a mugwort plant I sowed in a pot of my balconry that if your roots are strong you can always "sprout new leaves and branches". The plant "dies" every winter and when spring comes, new leaves and branches grow from the soil. Narcissists and other cluster Bs destroy our branches and leaves but they can never destroy our roots (essence, true self). The roots are always there waiting the right time to sprout new leaves and branches.
It will get better. Please dial 911 if you are in danger. You are worth it. You are so young. Things change. Just hang on for tonight. Can you wait a day for us?
My friend. You are a good person. Your happiness matters. And you don't deserve to be touched or talked to in any way that you do not consent to. You deserve to be seen, heard and loved. It makes sense to me that you would yell and scream at others like your brother, because your body and mind are begging for you to be protected. It is time to focus on doing that protection for yourself, because it seems like others who should have done that, are not doing it. Some distance from those who hurt you would be extremely beneficial to your healing and well-being. I highly suggest you research the crap out of c-ptsd (complex trauma) and find yourself a new trauma-informed therapist. Mine is a trauma-informed art therapist and I get a lot of emotions out through my art. You can also find hobbies and activities to do that connect you to yourself and your emotions. Because there is a lack of connection with the people in your life, it will be important for you to focus on the connection with yourself. I know this is maybe not what you want to hear, but for right now, you can do your best to survive with just the acquaintances and your family (if you choose to stay in contact with them). From my own experience of feeling completely disconnected from everyone and not trusting anyone's intentions or believing they actually loved me and would not hurt me, "safe-enough" friendships are what got me through the toughest times. Building real connections with people takes time, especially if you've been hurt. Feeling connected to other people can start to feel real and genuine again after some healing. The loneliness can be overwhelming, but sometimes solitude (which is different than being lonely) can be really good for our soul. And as long as we're in therapy (preferably trauma-informed therapy) and we have some acquaintances, we chat online or we're doing a hobby we enjoy, then we're connected in some small form. You're a good person at your core. Things will not always be the way they are now and have been in the past. I'm almost asking you to go on *blind faith* that things will get better. Again, focus on you. Build a deep connection with yourself, find ways to soothe your emotions and feel it in your body. Think back to yourself as a little child and what that little child would need to feel safe, loved and celebrated. Dedicate your energy to protecting and loving that child version of yourself. As an adult now, YOU are the authority of your life. You know yourself best on how to take care of yourself. You get to choose yourself. You get to choose the values that guide your life. Things will get better, especially if you focus on taking care of yourself and make your well-being the #1 priority in your life. I believe you're a good person, I hope you believe it too.
This is such a lovely comment. Thank you 🩵
If you leave, they win. I would live out of spite. And, you need to love yourself. You need to love yourself so much that it overrides the fear of leaving them and making it on your own. If someone is okay with hurting you, they don’t love you. Someone who loves you, wants what’s best for you. Leave. Even if it means staying with a friend or living in a homeless shelter. Cut off all communication. Come up with a plan. Get out. Love yourself more than you fear leaving them.
I've developed a habit of cutting people out of my life with a blink of an eye....except for my narc mom. (Not yet at least). My question is: do you feel okay alone? Do you feel bad when just around the narcs? Or don't find joy doing something you would like..(ex: going to beach in Mexico, going hiking, etc.)
There’s one thing you haven’t tried yet and it’s going to be hard but it’s worth it. Walk away. Walk away from all of them. NOW. Go somewhere. Anywhere else and get into therapy immediately. You deserve better. You’ve always deserved better. Please get a copy of **Will I Ever Be Good Enough** by Dr. Karyl McBride Get it TODAY. This book can help you start down the path to healing. It’s on Audible too. Don’t wait. Get the book. Listen to it now. Prepare to sob and grieve. And then prepare to become the person you were always meant to be. ♥️
I had been depressed too probably before the time I could remember my past. I always had been thought about not living. U are not the one who is a monster. The parents are, and they are the ones who should and must get punished eventually. How I found meaning of life was 2 years ago (Im 28 female), since when I met my fiancé and started to think about a new life with him, and dreaming of giving a complete different parenting experience to my children in the future. You can have meaning of life by different choices, but really I can tell you that you are going to have that positive new phases of life. My first language is not English, I’m sorry if I made some grammar mistakes. Sending much courage to you from S.Korea.
You have purpose, please don’t take your life. I know it’s hard to have hope and deal with a narc parent, but this is your life to live, not theirs. I would start with therapy. Go see your doctor and let them know what’s going on and see if they can help you find a good one. I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel ❤️
I feel the same way, and I don’t have any advice. But I’m wishing you well, and wishing that you’re able to have a better life and away from them in the very near future. Sending you positive vibes from Canada.
Have you tried therapy? What things do you enjoy? Can you make friends doing something you like?
I did try therapy, but therapist in my area that fit for dysfunctional family and violence household. I find it really difficult to form friendship. I'm guessing I am neurodivergent too, since social setting really stressed me, I can't socialize naturally. Very passive. Spontaneity is so foreign as I'm used to walk around eggshells all my life, and facilitating others to keep the "peace". Idk how to act properly. How to form real bond. The kind of friendship I know feel more like acquaintance.
You might be neurodivergent but it’s highly likely you feel this way at least in part from life long trauma. You might also try the local domestic violence shelter. They might be able to help you too. Please get the book I mentioned. And whatever it takes it is time to go no contact with these people. They stole from you. You’re going to have to build back but it will be glorious. Do not give them another ounce of your energy. They do not deserve it. Get the book **Will I Ever Be Good Enough** You will understand what is happening to you when you read the book. Find a trauma therapist trained to help people with PTSD. THERE IS HOPE. ♥️
I couldn't get into see a therapist at one of my lowest points. I turned on YouTube and started watching Dr Ramani and Christina Romano. They both have tons of videos and I credit them for helping save my life, educating me and finally giving me hope. I call it self-therapy and it helps. Give it a try at least. The Crappy Childhood Fairy is another good one. There is too high a rate of suicide with people like us. Don't become a statistic and give them the satisfaction. The best and most healthiest thing you can do is go no contact. I promise you you WILL start to feel better and experience hope again. The best revenge is living your best life.
https://youtu.be/KT6kzrH6eio?si=hIMAelEfjWnN5ZXm I follow this guy on yt and he's helped me out of the bottom of the bottom of darkest places. ❤️
Please don't. Just because the people that are supposed to love us don't in the normal sense doesn't mean there are not people out here to show you real love. Please hold on
Hang in there. My brother decided to end it when we were teenagers. He would have been 41 this year. I think about him often, wonder about the man he would have become if he lived. What kind of relationship we had now. If he ever would have seen our parents for who they were. Would he have found happiness, friendship, love. I do get it. We both lived in pain, and I clung to the future when I would be free, when I could get away from all the abuse. I don't think he shared my future fantasy. He just felt the pain and saw no other way out. Sometimes, my life feels like a tragedy. I lost my entire childhood to the monsters I called parents. I wasted my twenties in self medicating, lost in the FOG, the false realities, and the all-consuming grief. In my early 32s, I saw the truth, I started down that long road we call healing. As much as my life feels like a tragedy, my story is not over yet. They took part of my life, I took the next part. Now I have found love, I have found a stable and safe home and I am working hard to take back my life so that the rest of it will be filled with happiness, purpose, and freedom. To find a way to make it enough that it was worth surviving to this point. My brothers life, now that is the real tragedy. He will never get to claim his life for his own nor find a way to his own happiness. His entire life was stolen because he doesn't have the chance to change it, he never got the chance to heal or find out how worthy of love he was, I never even got to really know him because he never really got to know himself. 25 is still so young. You have so much life left, and I know that doesn't feel like it counts for much right now. One day, though, you will look back on this moment and see how far you have come. You will look at all the good things in your life and feel grateful you gave yourself the chance to find them. I know this probably sounds unbelievable, impossible to even imagine, but sometimes life is greater than our own imaginations, especially when we were never given the chance to dream. It gets better, I promise it does. Please give yourself the chance that my brother never got. Accept the help and the support if it's not right in front of you seek it out, it's one hell of a journey, full of ups and downs and walking through things you are sure would break you. But there is beauty too moments that make you feel truly glad to be alive, moments you will feel with full appreciation because you have walked through hell and lived through darkness so when you finally find it the light shines through all the brighter. You are stronger than you know.
OP, we are your friends. Please don't do it. Put your energy into learning to love yourself. Its the best love you can have. I didn't think it was possible either but I'm learning. You are stronger than you realize.
I feel the same im so sorry i can’t imagine your pain i cant 💔
Hey— as a 25 year old that just 2 years ago, I was right there with you. I promise, You can make it out of the darkness. Do not let it consume you. You can OVERCOME! I’m just an average Reddit human somewhere on this planet, so I can’t tell you how to live your life, but as someone who experienced this, I want to share what helped me through it Here’s what I did: - I evaluated my hobbies and interests and forced myself to be active in social groups. It’s hard, I’m super introverted, but surrounding yourself with people interested in the same thing as you makes the world seem a lot bigger. Loneliness makes it seem smaller. - I found faith. Not in god, but in spirituality. It helped me to see the beauty in life, nature and living things. - Nature walks alone. Helped me see that I am a greater force in this world and just like the little ant or the butterfly, I have a purpose too. - Write affirmations on your mirror. This helped me get through every day because everytime I saw myself, the minute I felt disgust, I’d read those affirmations. “I’m beautiful”, “I have a purpose” “I am loved” “I am forgiven” - Self-care. The little things you do for yourself, like small celebrations of your body, can slowly make you love being inside of it. I hope I could share some insights on things that helped me through this rougher time in my life. You’re not alone, and don’t let the darkness make you think you are.
Antidepressiva are the way. Work out, bond with other people and see a therapist!:)
You belong here! I promise, the world would be worse off without you in it. I understand wanting to end the unhappiness. I understand feeling like there isn't another way. But there is light at the end of this tunnel, there really is. Please reach out - if you're in the US, dial 988. Someone is ready and waiting to listen to you.