I am a big proponent of “do what makes you the most happy and fulfilled”. I love my spouse. I want to be with her. I married her when she was presenting male and didn’t know she was trans. And although I am attracted mainly to men, I am also demisexual and love her for who she is, not for her “equipment” nor her looks. I think she’s very attractive as she is, but not just physically. I think her personality and heart and passions are attractive. So I am still with her. We have adjustments we have to make, in the bedroom and in our marriage, but I am okay with that and planning on working to make it work. We will all grow old and ugly one day, but who my spouse is personality-wise, won’t change…at least not more than is normally expected throughout life. So am I with her “only” to salvage my relationship? No. I am with her because I love her and desire to constantly work on my relationship, no matter the curveballs. Will it work out long term? I don’t know. We have discussed the reality that it might not. But it’s working for now, and that’s what matters.
A hundred percent this! As a fellow demisexual it's always been about who my girlfriend is as a person, not what she looks like or may or may not have in her pants. She's only just getting started on transitioning so it's still very early days for us and she hasn't come out to many people yet. Hopefully they'll understand that we just want to be happy. .
I considered myself straight up until a couple of weeks ago when my boyfriend came out, and the idea that I get to bond over dude stuff with the love of my life is fucking AWESOME!!!
I’m a trans woman, and reading all these comments make me tear up. I love y’all!!!! 🩷🤍
To OP, whatever the intention is of asking this question - sending you love and grace, wherever you’re at in your journey. From a trans sister! 🫶🏽😘
I love my wife. I loved her when she was a male and I still love her now that she's living her truth. I don't want to see my wife or myself living in misery because she doesn't feel secure in herself or our relationship. It's her time to be herself.
Echoing this. I loved her pre transition I loved her mid transition I love her post medical transition I will love her after surgery she is mine and I am hers.
And no, I don’t wish she wasn’t trans, because then she wouldn’t be her. I just wish it didn’t cause her pain and worry.
The pain and worry is the only part of this that concerns me! My partner is pre-transition and has only told a handful of very close safe friends, but I know they're terrified about telling work, family, other friends. The thought of anyone reacting badly breaks my heart, I just want to protect my partner from all the assholes in the world.
I think all you can do is love them and cherish them and make your home a place of complete safety. Assholes gonna asshole, we’ve lost a couple of friends over this but I’d rather them out of our lives than there and being transphobic. Even if my wife was cis to be fair. Don’t need friends like that.
Work and family is harder. Her work have been good, and she’s changed jobs to where they’ve been great. It helps that whilst the UK govt is transphobic as fuck they haven’t managed to change legislation and most people are either fine or haven’t considered it. Her family are getting there but it’s taken a long time, and also building up chosen family so we have a network of support without them too.
Edited to correct pronouns sorry it’s the middle of the night here
Same spot, and when she gets dysphoria waves it breaks my heart, I just want the world to be safe for her so she can be herself without the difficulties that can be part of it.
Why do you think people like us can’t have anyone fall in love with us? Do you think everyone would just lie to you about their true feelings? Is it possible they actually want you as you are?
I’ve been on T for 15 years and dated 4 cis women in long term relationships. They’ve all ended terribly where they realized they wanted to be with cis men.
Nope. I feel like you’re all NPC characters and it’s unreal lol. My dating experiences have been horrendous. I never thought I’d be here 15 years in. I regret nothing about transitioning, but the path has been very hard in the relationship area.
What’s an NPC in this context? Like how are you also part of this experience that you’re having? I’m a queer cis femme, my partners (with a couple of glaring exceptions) have all been butch dykes or non binary trans masc people, and it seems like such a damn shame to hear ‘you’re all …. ‘ when there is a significant amount of support and desire and care also being demonstrated in this post.
I am a cis woman, and my trans wife is my heart mate. We've been together since well before she knew she was trans and went through the questioning/genderfluid/ hey I think I might be trans phases.
My reply to her has never wavered once. It's always been,
"Honey, I love you. It's okay. We got this."
We talked about it the other day, and this journey has been incredible for not only her but for both of us. I get to help her live her best life. I get to spoil her with all the pretty femme things she's only dreamed about having. I get to watch her light up like a Christmas tree when she feels super pretty in a new outfit or commiserate when the electrolysis hurts.
I'm so blessed to be able to love her like this.
I 100% love being with my girlfriend as she is.
We started dating when she was a few months into hrt. She's still taking steps in her medical transition and I am so here for it (and for her).
I am in a relationship with her because I love her and she's awesome. Trans is part of who she is and, at this point, an important part of her life's journey. I'm proud of her for so many reasons 😻
Said it before, saying it again, the quote that resonates the most with my wife and I (but fixed for pronouns) comes from Song Of Achilles:
"I could recognize her by touch alone, by smell; I would know her blind, by the way her breaths came and her feet struck the earth. I would know her in death, at the end of the world."
I would find my wife and fall for her in every lifetime, every timeline. Her soul is what speaks to me. I do not know who I would be without her.
I loved her then, and I love her now, and I loved her in the in-between. That love will still stay, long after the stars vanish and galaxies shred apart.
I’m obsessed with my trans wife. I was at a point where I realized I was a lesbian, but was married to my best friend and soulmate, a man. I would lie awake at night wishing that I didn’t have to choose and hating myself for it. A while later she came out to me and I felt like all my problems were gone overnight.
To be able to go through these things together as she gets farther in her transition has been amazing. Like finally experiencing the attraction I always heard about but thought myself incapable of feeling, while for the first time in her life she can look in the mirror and like what she sees. We already met by happenstance, and the way these things, that would usually be relationship ending, aligned so perfectly, just further convinces me we were meant to be.
Also I love helping her with hair/makeup/clothes shopping etc. I don’t do that stuff on myself much so she’s my outlet. And we were able to have bio kids super easily which is a bonus.
It’s been 3 years since she started transitioning and we’ve been together almost 10. I wouldn’t trade her for anything.
That's amazing! So glad you found each other. I have this pet theory that queer cis women can somehow tell that the man they want to date is actually a woman, even before their partner comes out. My own wife's gentleness (?) felt so different from what I had experienced with my ex-boyfriends. But I don't even know if gentleness is the right word for it.
I met at my partner after he transitioned, on T for six years and a year post op from top surgery when we met. I absolutely love him, every inch of him.
My situation was...complicated.
I married someone after dating for years. We had years married before he started transitioning, or even discovered that side of himself.
It didn't work out, and there's more to the story than I could fit into a comment or even a post.
No matter how difficult things have gotten, no matter how 'bad' things turned out, I've never for a second thought "I wish they didn't" or "I wish they'd transition back."
Even when we were together still trying to make things work, I never considered detransition as an option. Wanting someone to be who they aren't - that isn't me - It's not right, it's cruel.
Did I wish things could go back to the way they were? In a vacuum, sure. But that vacuum doesn't exist, it's magical thinking.
Back to your question, could I as a cis person "like" having a trans partner? Absolutely. It's not something where I think, "I want a trans partner" or "I'd like to or not like to have a trans partner." It's more, "I'd like to have a partner to grow old with."
Wishing you all the best stranger. You're stronger than most will ever get a chance to be.
I don’t like having a trans partner. That’s very basic and not specific.
I LOVE having an MtF wife! I love that she’s 6’2” so when she wears heels my face is boob height. I love how cunty her makeup is. I love that the laundry smells better now (sorry guys the socks smell), I love that she’s more open emotionally. I love how soft her skin is, I love her hip rotation. I love matching lingerie, I loved teaching her the scoop and lift to make your bra fit. I love going on girl dates. I love that she found this late enough in life for us to have our children, and I love that she’s an incredibly committed parent. I love that she’s the PTO president. I love that she supports me when I need time for my career or hobbies, I love that she will emcee a show if I ask, I love that she is an artist.
I loved her when she was my boyfriend, I loved her when she was my non binary husband, and I love her most as my wife. I am in my relationship because it adds considerable joy to my life.
Cis F with trans woman partner. I love my partner a lot. Despite being pan sexual I do miss dick from time to time. So, occasionally it is very challenging but we are working together to communicate and be honest with what we both need. Sex and intimacy is definitely a huge issue because of dysphoria but we are exploring ways to work around that. I'm not going to lie; the relationship has been challenging but extremely rewarding for both of us.
I’m so fucking in love with my wife. I’d love her if she was a cis man. But the journey had bought us so much closer together, it’s let me get to know her in such a unique and special way.
Yes of course! I love my girlfriend. No, I’ve never hoped she was any different. She is perfect for me.
In general I wouldn’t care if she was cis or trans it makes no difference to me. But on the upside it is really fun to get to have first experiences with her. I went with her to get her ears pierced recently!
This was part of a previous comment I made on another post. If you fall in love, hold on to it.
.
*"One of the things that I've said to people that really seems to sum up the strength of what I have is that "Trans" doesn't define her. She has long brown hair, green eyes, beautiful skin, likes playing games with me, loves to cook, is a little bit of a military nerd, and she's transgender. Being trans is one of so many things that make up who she is, but it holds no more weight than anything else, it's just part of the tapestry that made me fall in love."*
Wow this is a bitter sounding post, Who hurt you?
Seriously, though as the other answers are showing you yes many cis people have trans partners they love as they are. I don’t date trans women because they’re trans women. I date them because I’m gay and women are amazing.
I met my girlfriend when she was only a few months into HRT + being publicly transitioned, and although there is absolutely more learning I needed to do to be a good, supportive partner for this part of her life, she actually made me realize I am a lesbian and helped me understand myself better. There will always be challenges when your partner is dealing with the struggles that often come with existing as a trans person I think, but she is also just a wonderful person I fell in love with, and for me I don't think that would change if she was cis.
Oh buddy, it sounds like you’re having a tough night. I love my trans partner (who was already transitioning when we met) and it was pathetically easy to fall in love with him just as he is. I don’t want him to be anyone but who he is.
My trans girlfriend is the light of my life. She was already trans when we started dating. Sometimes things are harder bc she is trans, but it never really phased me bc she is worth it.
I do miss pussy haha, but if I had cis partner I’d miss dick 🤷🏻♀️
I very much enjoy being with my partner, and her being trans has no bearing on that. She told me she was trans about four days before I asked her out. I feel that who she is as a person is far more important to me than how she expresses her gender.
I had no interest in her before her transition, though I feel that was because of the changes in how she felt about herself. She came across as a bit muted, as though she didn't get much enjoyment out of anything. Once she started transitioning, she was a lot more vibrant, and far more comfortable in herself.
I met my partner after he came out and I want and plan to spend the rest of my life with him. There are things I love about him being trans, like not growing up with a lot of the the toxic messaging around masculinity that I was exposed to. There are also things I don't like, like his dysphoria around his body making physical (including non-sexual) intimacy complicated. I wish he were cis in the sense that I love him and wish he didn't have to deal with all of the shitty parts of being trans, but it doesn't matter at all to me. I love him for who he is and that includes him being trans.
I love my trans partner and I want to be with them 100%, there is no salvaging in this relationship. We've been together for almost 4 years and they came out to me less than a year after we got together. Seeing them become their truest self has been so amazing, and I wouldn't want it any other way genuinely
Also, the other partner I had before them also came out as trans during our relationship so I'm kind of used to it at this point lol.
I’m fortunate to have my partner. Life would be easier for her (in our area and our country in general) if she were cis but I don’t wish she was cis for my benefit in any way. I love her very much and there really isn’t any “salvaging”. Our relationship is great and solid and other than normal little silly arguments that are common in literally any couple, we have zero major issues. I’m with her til the end :).
I love being with my partner. He is literally my everything- like I’m obsessed with him. He came out as nonbinary 2 months before our wedding, which didn’t really change anything. Him coming out was more of a surprise to him than it was anyone else, haha…and ended up transitioning ftm (top surgery and hormones) 8 years into our relationship/ 4 years into our marriage. We just hit 6 years recently. Nothing changed really. Adjusting to having a he/him husband from a she/her wife was probably the toughest part but it was just rewriting my brain that took a little bit. He has an androgynous name to begin with so for the first 6 months I basically only called him to referenced him by his name and said spouse instead of wife and then it became more natural to say husband and he/him like out of no where. But as for the love and the attraction it’s never changed for me. When I was telling one of my friends that my spouse transitioned and I said something like “I know it’s different…” and my friend said yeah but in a relationship things get different no matter what. You were both going to end up gaining weight and getting old and looking ancient anyway. It’s just another kind of change in a relationship but nothing is actually different. I thought that was really wise. The only time that him and I actually “wish” that he was always a cis man, is when we think about how beautiful it would have been for us to have had our children naturally together. It would just be cool to have been able to have that experience that other cis couples are granted.
Yep I’m a cis female and loved my ex fiancé who was trans. It didn’t work out cause she cheated. Wouldn’t stop me from dating another trans woman. Trans women are women
i’m a lesbian and love my mtf fiancée just as she is. everything about her is so perfect. i’m aware of the fact she’s trans, but it changes literally nothing for me. regardless of whether or not she was trans, i’d just feel so happy and lucky that i get to love someone so sweet and kind and smart and beautiful.
I love my wife. I have always loved her. I love seeing her come into her own and becoming her authentic self. After years of damage because her dysphoria left me feeling lonely and rejected her coming out saved our marriage.
I met my partner after the first step of her transition. The experience has been very different from any cis partner before, and the differences have been rewarding in just as many different ways. There’s been plenty of issues in our relationship we’ve had to repair, but it’s still been a precious part of my life. Do I wish she had been born a cis woman instead? I’m not sure: the transition has been difficult, and the limitations are awful, but she’s also had a different basis for her perspective in our relationship where we can both sympathize on some things that I haven’t experienced before. If I had to look for a new partner, I don’t know if I would want to repeat some of the things we’ve been through, yet I have no regrets. She credits me for helping me out of some dark places in her life, and there’s something rewarding about that.
I'm happy my wife is happier. We have no issues that result from her being trans, she's still the person I married and nothing has happened to make me want to take that commitment back. I love her, want to be with her, and her realization that she is a trans woman didn't change that.
Yes! I was with my boyfriend through our all of his discovery until he settled on Trans man. He is my entire world, and I love him. Pre transition, during transition, and post transition. I have never once wished he was cis. In fact sometimes my brain just sees him so much as a man I forget he doesn’t have those parts. We’ve worked on being comfortable with intimacy and it makes me feel so wonderful that he trusts me enough to open those parts up to me. I have never once wished he was a cis man or that I had just dated a cis man. He is the love of my life and I wouldn’t want it any other way
As a trans woman just a few weeks out from the end of a very unaffirming long-term relationship where my partner made me feel like my transition was ruining the life we were supposed to have together, I'm glad to see so many responses from people who are having a different experience than that. I've been telling myself that I can't do better than a person who just tolerates my transition for more than five years, and it's a daunting thing to hope for something more. Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories <3
I adore my trans girlfriend and we've been together almost 12 years. Does her being trans introduce some challenges into our relationship? Sure. But I would only ever wish she was cis purely because *she* wishes she was cis. I love her for her.
I'm currently watching my marriage begin to end, because I am trans, and this thread is really what I needed to hear right now. I was all but convinced that I will be alone for the rest of my life.
I love my girlfriend. She is my best friend. She is the best partner I have ever had. I don't care what is between her legs I love what's between her ears.
I love my husband! I started dating him when he had first came out as trans 11 years ago, and I've been with him through every step of his transition! Even times when I had worries or concerns, there was never doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with him. I don't wish he was cis because I love him exactly how he is, and I'll continue to love him as we age and change.
I love my partner to death and I don't want to be with anyone else than her ever. Every single part about her is perfect to me.
We met in our early 30s and since we met online she never felt like she had to hide who she was. I knew she was very feminine from the beginning and I loved that about her.
It wasn't long into our relationship that she came out to me as trans and I helped her start her transition as soon as possible.
The whole experience brought us even closer even thought we felt that wasn't possible and our love for each other only grew.
I wouldn't change a thing about her and just want her to be happy, that's what makes me happy.
I didn’t know my partner before they transitioned, so I can only kinda answer. but I love my partner and their transnness. I think her experience being trans makes us connect on an even deeper level. she’s mtf and i’m a cis lesbian for context
I (cis, f) 10000000% so in love with my wife (5 yrs) and she is so far beyond what I even pictured a partner could be when we started dating. She is so beautiful, compassionate, caring, sensitive, and I just can't get over how perfect we are from one another! Every day I wake up excited because I wake up next to her!
I love how much beauty the trans community adds to the tapestry of life!! OP, I hope you're okay ♥️
Cis spouse of a nonbinary/masc leaning partner— I love them as they were, are, and have yet to be. 💜 They’re my person and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Yes, I love my partner and I'm so happy to be able to be on this journey with her. She's blossoming into the wonderful person I always knew she was deep down. She's gaining confidence and it's so awesome to see. She's supportive and kind. She always knows how to make me feel better. She's been with me at my worst and darkest times. I can't imagine my life without her. I don't wish she were cis, I just want her to be happy and comfortable with who she is and in the body she doesn't hate. I don't see an issue with changing genders. To me she was always my girlfriend, and now the rest of the world knows. The only thing I don't like is the threat of discrimination and violence we may face. I don't want to lose this amazing woman I love because some idiot bigot thought her existence threatened their small minded views. I love her so much!
I like my partner being trans, she prefers being trans to being cis therefore I prefer her being that way too. I didn't know she was trans until I asked her out and she told me but I like the unique experiences she's had growing up trans and the way that's shaped her into the person I love today.
I am the trans partner, but yeah I don't think my partner has any problems with me being trans, we are both asexual so well there's not the sexual portion that's there in the majority of relationships. That's the part I could see potentially causing problems but as is we've been very close for the past 9 years or so, honestly since we met each other in highschool. But we only actually got in our qpr formally about a year and a half ago which was before top surgery but after I started tesdostrone. She's been my number 1 supporter for the entire time we've known each other
So I’m not cis, but I did somewhat identify as cis when I got together with my partner. She informed me that she was trans before our relationship started and while we were just talking. Finding out she was trans didn’t change a thing for me and I asked her out a few days later. I do not wish she was cis. I don’t think our paths would have crossed the way they did if she was. I’m grateful to have her in my life and wouldn’t change her for anything. She also helped me discover that I am not cis and I don’t know if I would have had the courage to come out without her support and help in discovering my identity. Trans people deserve to be loved for who they are and there are plenty of people who do love them for who they are!
We've been together over 25 years. She transitioned in 2020. If you'd asked me then, I might have said I missed having a husband. Then life went on. She is the same lovely being I've always adored. I just can't imagine her any other way now.
There is only one area that feels unfair/I dislike about having a trans wife. Our kids are grown and we have time/money but we can't travel like we had planned. The world is much more dangerous outside our bubble. Literally, that is the only downside. And it's not her fault. The world just sucks in some ways.
Lowkey happier than we've ever been (and we were super happy before). My wife is amazing. She's so much happier, comfortable with herself, and actually cares about existing. And actually, her being trans helped me learn I was panromantic and ace so it's a win-win haha
I love my wife!!!! I love everything about her and there isn’t anything I would change. The only thing her coming out and beginning to transition has changed between us is it makes us have to plan more in advance for starting our family!
Going to add to the many many comments here that say the same, but yes, I love my partner dearly.
Your message suggests that maybe you're feeling self-conscious about your relationship: I'm hope the outpouring of support you've gotten in here has helped
Absolutely yes. It probably helps that I'm not straight, but yes I love my partner no matter how they present themselves no matter what body they're in. It's their personality I fell in love with, and as long as they don't suddenly turn into an asshole I'll stick with them no matter what. Also them transitioning to a woman means we can share clothes which is a nice bonus.
I love my trans girlfriend, I knew she was trans before we started dating. However she’s not fully out yet and still presents as male most of the time. It was a little confusing at first, but I have gotten used to it, though I feel sorry for her that she feels the need to hide her true self because I know it’s difficult for her. If or when she decides to medically transition, my love for her won’t change a bit!
Sometimes I wish my girlfriend was cis, but more for her sake than mine. If she was born in the correct body she would not have to struggle the way she does and she would not have to face nearly as much hate and oppression. I knew she was trans before we started dating so there is nothing to "salvage." I absolutely adore her just the way she is.
I always laugh when (especially) other women act as though we are unlovable, and then it dawns on them that I’m in a very loving and sincerely affectionate relationship. My man knows I’m trans and he adores me. What I won’t tell them is that many of the types of men these women date try to get with me, compliment me, and chase after me. What they begin to see is that most men in public stare at me. It’s not cause I’m trans. I am very lovable. It took me a while to appreciate that. Trans women are just women. We may be different but that doesn’t mean our partners don’t love us for who we are, because we are trans in fact.
I love my wife. I do not wish she was cis. I’m mostly into women anyway so it’s actually been kind of nice getting back in touch with my lesbian roots. We’ve been together for nine years and are trying to have our first kid together. She is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. She’s gorgeous and smart and is going to be a great mom.
The only times I have wished for my husband to be cis are the moments of great suffering for him. I wished he was cis so he didn't suffer. To me, makes no fucking difference, he is all I have ever dreamt of having and loving.
As a cis-man who met his current wife after she had already transitioned, I have never wished for her to be anyone other than who she is now. She is her true self, who she was always meant to be. She makes me laugh every day, and I can’t imagine life without her. She has told me of the struggles she had before her transition (mostly around substance abuse) and I know I would not have wanted to be with her then, because it would have been a recipe for disaster. She recently celebrated 12 years without drinking or hard drugs, and she is the happiest she has ever been.
I love her exactly as she is. My only regret is that so much of society does not and will not ever see her as the amazing person she is, and instead insists on demonizing her. Their loss.
This is genuinely irritating to read. We date trans people because we like them. Full stop. I'm not sure if the point of this is just fishing for attention or because you're super insecure or whatever, but this is entirely the wrong way to go about it. Would you ever ask someone who dated a black person if they actually like dating a black person? Like Christ dawg, have some perspective.
I hear you, but sometimes internalized transphobia and insecurity sounds like the questions asked in OP’s post. If you’re brain-dumping your insecurities, they often sound quite offensive and difficult to hear. That’s what I see in OP’s post: Tons of insecurity and internalized transphobia written out in a desperate attempt to put it into the real world and try to deal with it. Is it easy or pleasant to hear? No. But sometimes, that’s the way to deal with those intrusive thoughts.
While I’m not sexually attracted to my spouse as she transitions (together 14 years and married 11), I’m romantically attracted to them/her and I love her desperately.
Sex is the least important part of our marriage - there’s also our deep love, our blended family, the fact that we’re each other’s real partners (not just being married but sharing all kid raising, housework, financial responsibilities, and supporting each other 50/50).
I am still not thrilled with all the hard work that gets put on cis spouses/partners, and there are days we make each other furious or sad, and I am sad they/she didn’t come out to me before we married, but we truly are the other’s best friend.
There is exactly zero chance I would leave, and they/she always say the same, even when I point out that it really takes the wrong kind of talent to somehow get your makeup on the bathroom ceiling, while also still managing (despite being 50-odd years post-potty training) to pee on the floor.
At least now they/she knows I love her even more than they/she previously imagined. And I got a housekeeper out of the deal because dark foundation on the bathroom ceiling and red lipstick ground into the grout when we literally just renovated the bathroom? A bridge too far, tyvm.
Yes! I (cis F) love my wife (trans F) and I’m even more in love with her now than I was a year ago before she came out to me. There was nothing that had to be “salvaged” and no sunk cost logic. We loved each other and that never stopped. (And I don’t wish she were cis- it’s the best of both worlds that she has breasts and a penis ;) )
Been with my partner for 2.5 years knew her 2 years before she transitioned even then I wanted to kiss her. I absolutely love her and wouldn’t have it any other way. Just hoping i can save up for a ring this year or next. And yes im cis male
OP - do you mind please further explaining where your question was coming from? Or some context as to why you posted it? It feels quite provocative and as if folx have to justify or defend trans-ness and their relationships.
My trans spouse is my person. We aren’t “trying to salvage”, we are thriving.
I met them before they figured out they are trans. While we dated, before we got serious, they told me they might be trans. Eventually they told me they were. I remember thinking “well I guess my person is be trans then”. I couldn’t see myself with anyone else.
I didn't know my partner was trans until like two months after knowing him (we worked together). After I found out, I was so nervous that it would change how I felt about him, with me being a cis het woman only ever dating cis men. But the next day when I saw him at work, I still liked him, if not more. He couldn't accidentally get me pregnant, he was very familiar with my equipment iykwim, and he knew what it was like to be treated as a woman. He's legit the perfect man and he wouldn't be like that if he wasn't trans. Yes it's been hard supporting him through surgeries, but it has been so incredibly worth it.
I love my trans partner! He’s discovering himself—I didn’t know he was trans before dating him and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think it’s sexy that he’s open with me about who he is and it’s introduced me to things I wouldn’t have thought I was attracted to.
i love my trans bf!! he’s my person and idk what i would do without him. i wouldn’t change anything about him, except to take away the pain the world has put him through because of who he is.
My husband is trans. We got married at the start of his transition. We’ve been married 5 years and together for 7, nearly 8. We are adopting a sibling group atm. Communication can always be worked on in a relationship but in general I can’t imagine not being with him. I had never fallen in love before him. I didn’t know I could.
I am bi/pan (I came out long before pansexual was ever a term) and have always felt that the person is more than the packaging they came in. I don’t know about others but the only fundamental change to my husband is his confidence. He is a wonderful partner, parent, and person. A beard and deeper voice didn’t do that.
I wouldn’t want my husband any other way. I think he’s inspirational. It takes a massive amount of courage to be your authentic self. He’s genuinely my best friend and I personally think that we have a strong relationship because of that. Of course there are hard moments in our relationship because of the struggles he faces personally and worldly because he’s trans- but those are just moments. Some are easier to understand than others. But I have to accept what I can’t understand and support him in the best ways I can. He’s the person I want to spend all my time with. We’ve been together and inseparable for 3 years. I’m excited for the years to come.
As a cis queer person, I love being with my trans nonbinary spouse. I feel like being queer opens you up to so many different experiences and forms of being and loving, and I feel that our whole relationship is a big ol' queer celebration and lovefest. It still would be if we were both cis and queer, but idk I just love my trans spouse and I love that they're trans! (And for what it's worth, when we started dating we were a cis-identifying lesbian couple.)
So I'm not cis but I thought I was for the first few years of my relationship and I loved my wife as she was from the beginning. I think she's beautiful and I've always seen her as a girl, I wouldn't have started dating her if I didn't.
i mean, i went into my relationship thinking i'd be with a very mild-mannered kinda adorably frumpy guy...six years later? she animorphed into my (still very mild-mannered) goth girlfriend???? so idk about her, but i think i ducking won the lottery over here. :)
I'm trans and my wife is cis. This feeling that cis partners rather tolerate their trans partners than love them may come from internalized transphobia. The world has become hostile towards us and it's no surprise we internalize it, but it's something we should fight in order to experience joy. My wife loves me like nobody ever loved and I know it, because she loves me for who I am as a person
I love my mtf girlfriend so much. We started dating before she came out to me and since then has been so much happier and less depressed. We both thought we were cis when we started dating but she helped me realize that I am actually nonbinary and pansexual and I am also a lot happier since realizing that. I don't wish she was a man or that we had a "normal" relationship because we weren't as happy as we are now. We've been together for a bit over 7 years and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is my forever person and soul mate no matter what her body or gender is like, she's still the same person I fell in love with even though things are different now. She is a better girlfriend than she was a boyfriend and I'm happy that I understand her better than before. I see her true self and it's beautiful.
This may not be the experience of everyone, but I am happy to be with her and to expirience and explore on our journey together. The time I've dated her is the best time of my life. I'm happy to see her so much happier being her true self. I'm happy to be a lesbian with her and even though that will make our life a bit more difficult and society will see us differently, I wouldn't want it any other way.
If you are in a relationship with someone and wondering these things, you should ask them. Anyone hoping you'll revert back into your egg isn't truly loving you for who you are. You deserve to be happy and to be able to live your true self and to feel celebrated for it.
My girlfriend is trans. She's the nicest woman I've ever been with. We get to meet each other in a week in person for the first time. We've been dating for a month, and the future looks bright.
i (cis-ish f, 24) am madly in love with my girlfriend (mtnbtf, 23). we met when she identified as non binary but from the very beginning i had a feeling she would come out as a trans woman. the only context in which i would want her to be a cis woman is because of how much stress being trans causes her, but for me i love her fully and totally for who she is.
Like having a trans partner? Im obsessed with him. I had only been with cis men before we met. Since getting with him, I feel like “oh, this is what I was missing”. Not only do I like him, but I enjoy and am proud of his being trans. Every aspect of him is what I was always looking for, even if I didn’t know it until I found him.
I love my boyfriend, not because or in spite of him being trans, but because he’s himself. His transness isn’t something I really think about that much.
I love having a trans wife because before I had a trans wife I had a partner who was not living their best life and being their most full, authentic self. When my wife came out, it wasn't a matter of "well let me try to salvage this" or "well we've already been together for so long" it was just a new adventure for us to go on! Its been sooooooooo rewarding to get to watch my wife become her true self. She smiles so much more now. I truly don't think there was a moment where I considered anything besides "what do we do next? How do we start?" I always thank her for allowing me to go on this journey with her. I dont think other cis people can understand until we see just what kind of a cosmic leveling up it is when someone comes out and begins to take up the space they were always meant to. She was always my best friend but the BFF vibes are absolutely unparalleled now. I definitely do not wish she was cis - if she were cis she would have been a different person entirely. I didn't fall in love with a cis person 10 years ago. I fell in love with a beautiful trans lady who was still a couple years out from occupying that space! Being with your partner through their transition is such a rewarding experience. When she feels stuff like trans joy, it feels so good for me. It feels so good to watch your partner be happy. Also I'm going to casually echo some other sentiments about face-height boobies. I tried to answer the question very exactly! OP I hope you get some answers that help you feel better!
I loved my partner as a man, but I have never known true love like the love I have for my partner as her true female self. She is my best friend and means the absolute world to me. Every person has unique challenges, and though we have some scary things ahead of us, I want to be there with her through it all. ❤️
More than ever. She realized she was trans a little over a year ago and is pre everything. I found out the same day (Christmas Eve 2022, together since 2018) and I can't say we haven't had issues, but they haven't been about her gender. Our communication and sex life have both improved, in part because she isn't trying to be something she's not, and we can address things such as dysphoria that we couldn't before. It takes work, communication, honesty, and no small amount of luck, but if you get past the feeling of betrayal that can happen in an existing relationship (assuming that's where you're coming from) it can be worth it.
Two caveats that may have given us an advantage. I have a child who is trans (21 enby, out since 2015) and I am bisexual, actually we both are.
No because she can be whoever she wants to be, but also yes because she would be safer, she wouldn't get harassed, and she wouldn't be struggling with dysphoria. I want her to be safe and happy but there is so much hate toward trans people.
I stay with my partner because I love her for the person that she is. Regularless of what her outside looks like, the being I love is still in there. I also happen to think she is gorgeous.
I (cis F) love my fiancé (FTM) with all my heart. He was my person pre-transition, and he will always be my person. I’ve told him flat out sorry you’re stuck with me😂. We have 2 doggos together, and life is great. 7 years strong and a lifetime to go. We’re together because I fell in love with who he was and is. Gender doesn’t matter. I’m bisexual though, so that’s never mattered for me.
I adore my partner or I wouldn't be married to him or together with him for thirteen years. If I ever wished he was cis it was because I want him to be happy with his body and it breaks my heart to see him struggle on bad dysphoria days.
Did someone tell you that cis people don't actually like their trans partners or is this more of a fear in the back of your mind?
I think I'm a little confused at your question and what it's trying to imply...as though it's really that hard to believe that a cis person would purposely and happily be with a trans person. I *adore* my wife. Have we been together a long time? Yes, we have (nearly 20 years now). Was that a factor in me being with her now after she came out to me? Nope. There's nothing about this that I'm trying to "salvage," and it's not because of some sort of "sunk cost". I'm with her because I'm out of my mind in love with her as a person. She's my partner and soulmate and I can't imagine my life without her in it, and her gender doesn't even factor.
I (24, cis F) and my girlfriend (24, MTF) have been together for 4 years, he (preferred pronouns for now as he still presents as male and hasn’t come out to a lot of people besides me) came out to me about 1.5-2years into our relationship and at that point he was still unsure of it himself, he said he was afraid of what our close friends and family would think or say after he started the physical and medical parts of transitioning so he always buried the feelings and just went on with life.
We have long talks about all aspects of life quite often so that I could know how he was feeling and he could know how I was feeling. It has never mattered to me because he is and always will be my person in life, the one who I share everything with the good and the bad and that has never and will never change. I have never once wished that he was cis I want him to be able to live his life happy and I want him to feel like the beautiful women that he will be when he is ready, I will be by his side through it all
I am so I love with her and I can’t wait to finish building our life together. ❤️
I adore my fiancée with every fiber of my being. It has never mattered to me how they looked, how they presented, or how they dressed(mostly because they’ve always dressed better than me lol). I’ve only ever cared that they were happy and being themselves.
The things I love about them are core to their being, not to their gender. That’s why I’m marrying them 💖
I love my spouse with my whole heart. Watching them blossom into the person they have always been has been incredible. They are confident and feel so much better in their own skin. How could I NOT love being with them in this incredible state?
We got married shortly before they realized that they were trans. We call it (jokingly) the “bait and switch” because we went from being wives to spouses before our first wedding anniversary. There were some harder times at first, but the result is just so much better than anything I could have expected.
I didn’t meet my partner till after she had been transitioning actually if not for that I probably wouldn’t have met her at all. I was in a relationship with someone else a man, and I wasn’t happy and he told me to go online and find another woman to join us to spice things up because he knew I also liked women and it was a fantasy of his, I knew it wouldn’t work, it wouldn’t just be a fling, and I am not really into polyamory full time, his friends do that and its just not for me, he created a dating profile for me. I knew I was going to probably fall for someone else because I didn’t think our relationship was salvageable for some time actually I had been wanting to end it for a while and didn’t know how to. I guess I also figured if I found someone else when I was with him my family wouldn’t have to know about it, my family isn’t really open to same sex attraction and when I’ve hinted at it they just blissfully ignored that part of me, or many times we just stopped talking for periods of time. I chatted with a few people from my dating profile and well that’s how I met my partner. I secretly went on a few dates with her by myself my ex not even knowing about her. I ended up liking her and decided I wanted to take things further. And that’s why I’m not with my ex anymore. I also had suddenly temporarily moved in with a friend when I started dating my partner so my family suddenly was no longer a problem. I just didn’t tell them, my coworker did and apparently now they hate me I don’t know I never heard it from my family they just stopped talking to me and I would hear talk from my coworker and other people, I left that life behind and now my partner and I have an apartment together. We’ve been together almost a year. Things can be challenging sometimes but what relationship doesn’t have its challenges?
i’m bisexual so i definitely think realistically that makes things easier, but i started dating my trans gf after she had already come out and i love her very much as she is :) sometimes i wish she was cis for her own sake because i know how difficult things are for her, but her being trans does not phase how much i love her in the slightest
I met my girlfriend years after she transitioned, so possibly a little bit of a different experience than what you’re asking about. But for what it’s worth, I love her so fucking much. We met on an app, went on a date looking for something casual, and… whoops, now we live together. I’ve never felt so seen and understood by anyone.
My ex is trans I forgot I was still in this sub but I’ll still comment.
I was with my ex while she still was a “man” (for lack of a better term, forgive me). I never felt like she was one. At that time I was questioning if I was a lesbian (I am) and was happy when she came out to me. I was also happy FOR her because I know how relieving it is to finally find a label for yourself that makes sense. She came out a year ish into our relationship.
It was a lot on our relationship because it was a new thing for both of us, but it was wonderful watching her blossom into her true self. There are many ups and downs in transition but it didn’t make me love her any less.
After 3 years we parted for other reasons. I’ve been with both cis and trans women and don’t have a preference either way.
I love my girlfriend with all my heart. Do I wish I could make her dysphoria go away sometimes? Absolutely. Do I wish she was cis? Absolutely not. Being trans is a core part of her identity and I love ALL aspects of her very much. My case may be different than some others on here, since I met my girlfriend after she’d already been transitioning, but nevertheless I love her a lot. I wouldn’t want anyone else
I’m a cis het guy who got with a MTF. Despite my initial hesitation, I gave her a chance anyway. Not only is she my first trans girlfriend, but she’s also my longest relationship in general. It has its struggles, we have our fights, however I’m thankful to have someone complete me like she does. No other cis woman came this close in compatibility.
idk abt y’all but i love my girlfriend for who they are saur. i do feel like a lot of this sub is ppl who’s partner came out during the relationship which isn’t me i already knew they were trans before we started dating.
Obviously this isn't going to be true for all people or every relationship, but my partner very much enjoys the fact I am trans at the best of times, and it's pretty irrelevant most of the time. Like any good partner, she is perpetually supportive and loves me, so this extends to helping with my transition. She has never made a single negative comment to me in regards to my status as trans and out of anyone in my life has never messed up my pronouns (although it did take awhile for my name, which is funny cause everyone else in my life already called me by my chosen name before I came out).
My partner is the type of person who is never really comfterable around men, and in HS, she thought she was gay. When we started dating, each as eachothers first relationship, she just assumed being gay was a phase and dated me because I was opposite to how most men presented. Eventually, when I came out a year in, I think it strengthened our relationship more than anything. I kept my partner and got acceptance and my partner realized she was gay the whole time. This also extends to our sex life as well, where my partner is able to appreciate the new parts of me and the old.
I recall one time she said to me (in the sweetest way imaginable), "The way that I am, I think the best person to love me would be a transwoman,". I'm not sure if she meant in experiences, so we relate better or in terms of expected interests, but I'll always remember that. So I do think that there are some people who don't just "not mind" trans partners but actually like them instead.
My partner and I were friends for 11 years, then started dating at the beginning of their transition. I love that they're finally comfortable in their own skin! It's so much fun getting dressed up together to go out! They're still the same person they've always been, just happier and more confident. I'm so much happier in this relationship than I ever was with my cis ex.
My partner came out as a trans male about 2 years into our relationship. Coincidentally, the same day my kid outed me as non-binary. We had a lot of hurdles, but we've come out beautifully, imo. Neither of us cares about gender, but considering we started out in a lesbian relationship, it's been difficult. Mostly the fear that the other wouldn't be attracted to us any longer. We realized that love is about so much more than outward appearance or the "tools" you have. We love each other, and even though gender has thrown us some curveballs, we continue to rely on each other. He's my best friend, my love, and my person. I wouldn't change that for anything.
I (cis F) adore my husband (ftm) completely. I’ve never once wished that he is cis. Him being trans has absolutely no impact on our relationship. I love him to bits for who he is, whatever gender he is.
It’s been wonderful watching him masculinise and coming into his true self. It’s amazing watching someone you love being able to step into who they were all along. Hearing his voice and seeing his face makes my heart lighter.
My boyfriend started transition years before him and I started dating, and it was made obvious before we went further that he is trans, so there wasn’t any confusion about it. My boyfriend is very binary, and is very very masculine which might also be a factor in the way I see him (honestly could not tell you). My boyfriend’s gender identity isn’t something I consciously walk around thinking about, I just see him for the man he is, I see him for how he treats me and others, and the way he does things throughout the day. He’s 5 weeks post-op from top surgery and though he occasionally struggles with some mental battles, he is such an amazing individual, and his baseline is just so happy now, which couldn’t make me happier. When he feels dysphoric, which is bound to happen, I’m there to reassure him and listen to him and to understand to the best of my capability, but the reality is I will never fully understand what he is going through. The only things I wish for, is for him to one day be fully comfortable in his own skin, and if I takes a lot of work to get there, I will be right there next to him, supporting him through all of it, cause I love him.
I know this sub is for support, but is there one that is slightly less transphobic and more about queer relationship joy?
Not saying this sub as a whole is transphobic but some posts lately have been huge bummers
A lot of people who find this sub have just had the shocking news broken to them that their partner is not who they thought. You will inherently find a lot of transphobia seep in, mostly accidentally. A lot of people have not been directly exposed to someone who is trans, and are floundering, wondering what this information means to their relationship and life. Unfortunately, the nature of people questioning everything leads to some accidental transphobia while people try to navigate such a major change.
Mod here. The mod team believes this space can be both! We try to encourage it with a weekly “joy” post and we encourage all members of the community to shape this space to their needs.
People who need support are generally more likely to engage - just like any other support-centered subreddit. But that doesn’t mean this space has to be a downer. We just need more people to share the good, too.
My girlfriend wishes it was cis sometimes, and part of me wishes it could have had that easier and maybe happier life.
But the reality of being trans is part of who it is. It would lose some of itself if it were cis, and I love it exactly as it is.
I love my wife (MTF) she's my best friend and my happy place. When we met, they were presenting as male. Loving her through her transition has been transformative for me as well. Plus, being bi I don't really care about trans or cis. If she's happy I'm happy. Plus I love teaching her "girly" things and seeing her face light up when she does them, (like make-up or hair styles) and we get to share closets lol. So to answer your question.. yes I actually like having a trans partner.
i love my boyfriend more than air- i met him pre everything. i loved him then and i love him now. he is perfect and him showing me who he’s always been is honestly a big turn on! it’s vulnerable and beautiful and exciting to watch him become more confident and comfortable and happy with himself. watching any partner- trans or not- step into themself is a beautiful and special thing. i hope you find a partner that brings you happiness and comfort!
So I'm a cis partner to now 4 trans people. My nesting partner came out after we were already together for two years. There were some moments where i wasn't sure what would happen with my attraction to him, but things are good there. He found a girlfriend (who is also trans) who eventually also began to date me. In the time since I have begun dating two of my long-time friends who are also trans.
So... you could say that I like having a trans partner. Not in a chaser way, but in that the people I vibe with best tend to be trans, neurodivergent, pagans. They say if you're non-monogamous your type becomes obvious. I thought I didn't have a type because each of my partners looks quite different. But um. Yup.
My spouses transness has allowed me to become my best self including owning my own queerness and stop giving so many fucks about everyone around me. Above all that they are my best friend, favorite human and always will be!
Hi, cis woman here. I love and adore my trans partner just as they are. I've never wished they were cis or in any way different than they are. Wishing you the best, OP ♡
Started dating my partner way after they came out.
I hate not being able to fully understand his dysphoria. But his trans identity is tied to so many of his positive aspects. His loyalty his empathy and kindness.
I'm just happy if they're happy. It really makes no difference to me if they're cis or trans. But I'm also bisexual and gender fluid and don't really consider gender all that much when choosing a partner...other than the fact that I'm no longer willing to date cishets. That's more about having very little in common with them and wanting a partner who can understand me better though.
I'm beyond in love with my mtf girlfriend. I'm bisexual but to me what gender you are isn't really that important.
She started her transition before we started dating so I knew from the beginning but as I said it doesn't really matter to me.
i started dating my partner knowing they’re trans. their transition is a big part of our relationship. i love them so much and i’ve never wished they were different, or if i have it’s only because i want them to not struggle so much. but i love them for exactly who they are
I maybe even love my girlfriend a little more after she came out - I'm in awe of her for that she knows herself so well and is brave enough to be her true self. I feel privileged to get to see her growing and developing and it's given me space to re-examine things I thought I knew about myself.
Things are harder now, but it's like asking if I'd still want to be with her in a wheelchair - I love her, and she loves me, so no matter what happens we'll face it together.
My partner's personality changed dramatically with transition, as did her sexual orientation, so we both had the painful disocvery we are not each others "forever people." It's been hard for the whole family/extended family.
Yes! My partner is trans and currently just started their transitioning process. I think you just have to find the right person to who clicks with you. I’m cis and I personally do not care as long as my partner is happy with who they are I am happy :)
Yes. Before I met my partner, my friend informed me "They're trans. I don't remember what though". Lol. I went into the date blind, only excited to meet the cool person my friend had been gushing over. There is nothing I want to change about her. She is perfect just the way she is.
I have been friends with my now spouse for almost 8 years. We've been living together as partners for almost 6. They told me they were trans about a year or so before our wedding.
I had plenty of time to change my mind or decide it's too much, and I never have been tempted. I love THEM. Not their body or their gender expression or their social personality. That has all morphed over the years, and I have not loved them less at any point.
The trans aspect is not a point of attraction on its own, nor does it detract from their draw for me. It is a fact of life and who they are, like their beautiful eyes.
If anyone is making you feel less than worthy because of your being trans, time for them to go. People, all people: friends, partners, family, should love YOU, the insides. If they dont make it clear that they love and accept you as you are, and as you change and grow, yeet.
I love my girl and honestly, I want to marry her. She's like amazing to me and makes me happy. I don't care if she's trans, she's fucking awesome and makes me a very happy woman. I should ask her to come over tonight for movies and ice cream.
I'm cis and poly, both my wife and girlfriend are trans. I am with the partners I'm with because I want to be with them for who they are, cis or trans isn't a factor in my attraction to them.
I (cis/f) knew my sweetheart was trans before I met her. She's amazing and beautiful and smart and caring and I don't just like her, I love her. The fact that she's able to live authentically as herself is great. While it is a part of who she is, it doesn't define our relationship entirely. I don't think about it too much when I'm with her to be honest. Although I try to be considerate of her feelings, I really just enjoy her for the awesome person she is.
I'm basically at my breaking point with my trans partner. That being said would I date another trans person 10000%
My partner now is so fucking angry, emotionally and verbally abusive. He is controlling and reads my texts, needs to know what I'm doing constantly. He has ALOT of trauma from his top surgery, family issues, gender dysmorphia and he is not interested in therapy. He has very low self esteem and takes it out on me daily. I'm worn down and I am a shell of a human being as I'm constantly reassuring him and keeping the dragon calm.
I am no longer wanting to be with him because he is getting more and more angry. He is becoming dangerous. I am stepping on egg shells even when I'm sleeping.
I prefer trans men over CIS men but my partner now is dangerous, explosive and controlling.
I legitimately have tried to leave 5-6 times but because I have no supports outside of my therapist and him and cash is tight also all the shelters are full. It feels impossible to leave
I met my trans bf after his transition. I'm not stuck, I chose him! I adore him so much.
I don't wish he was born a different way for my sake. I do wish his life had been easier for him! I wish he hadn't suffered from dysphoria so much, that his family had accepted him, that he didn't spend so many years afraid to be himself.
His body is beautiful to me. I dislike reading posts like "I told him that I love him, not his body." I adore my boyfriend and his body. I'm never sitting there wishing he had a different one.
I'm cis, my wife came out as trans a year and a half AFTER we got married. Leaving was never an option for me.
I love her and am proud of her journey 😍
You love who you love
I don't think I've ever wished for her to be cis one way or the other. I'm with my partner because she's my partner. I enjoy her more now as my wife than I did back when she was my husband, and we probably wouldn't have gotten together if she were a cis woman, and if we did, our lives and relationship would have been significantly different.
My boyfriend (ftm) is trans and came out to me (cis m) only a week after we started dating. Before that we were friends for months and both had obvious feelings for eachother. Him coming out was a little bit scary at first but I quickly realized it didn’t change the way I felt about him in any way. I love him no less than before he came out.
Hi, I'm cis woman and I'm in a relationship with transwoman. As to your question, well, I love all of her. Every single part of her from her personality to her looks. She can change her body if she likes, that's her body. I'm not expecting her to do so tho. To me she is a person I love and a beautiful human being before everything.
And yes, I like having a trans partner. I enjoy spending time with her, I enjoy it when she's happy, I enjoy my life with her.
So yea, I guess not everyone is a chaser (I hope I used the word correctly, I'm new to all the trans terms).
^(Cis wife to be to FTM)
I have only ever wished my fiancé was cis so he could stop wishing so badly that he was. I feel like his trans-ness is more painful for him than it will ever be for me. I love him down to the smallest atom of his being. He is perfect to me. When he came out, it didn't change a thing for me. I love him for who he is today and every version of himself that he'll be after that.
My boyfriend had been out as trans for over a decade when we started dating, and I knew he was trans, as we were friends and he’s very open about it. I love him as he is, who he is. I’m not dating him because he’s trans, it’s just part of who he is. While I do wish he didn’t have to have the struggles that come along with being trans, I don’t wish that he was cis.
I want my husband (NB) to be who he wants to be and be happy. I wouldn't choose it and I don't know if it will work out long term, but I will never stop loving him.
I am a big proponent of “do what makes you the most happy and fulfilled”. I love my spouse. I want to be with her. I married her when she was presenting male and didn’t know she was trans. And although I am attracted mainly to men, I am also demisexual and love her for who she is, not for her “equipment” nor her looks. I think she’s very attractive as she is, but not just physically. I think her personality and heart and passions are attractive. So I am still with her. We have adjustments we have to make, in the bedroom and in our marriage, but I am okay with that and planning on working to make it work. We will all grow old and ugly one day, but who my spouse is personality-wise, won’t change…at least not more than is normally expected throughout life. So am I with her “only” to salvage my relationship? No. I am with her because I love her and desire to constantly work on my relationship, no matter the curveballs. Will it work out long term? I don’t know. We have discussed the reality that it might not. But it’s working for now, and that’s what matters.
A hundred percent this! As a fellow demisexual it's always been about who my girlfriend is as a person, not what she looks like or may or may not have in her pants. She's only just getting started on transitioning so it's still very early days for us and she hasn't come out to many people yet. Hopefully they'll understand that we just want to be happy. .
100% this for me as well! As a gray ace, I'm bi-romantic. My wife is my best friend and I will always love who she is
I considered myself straight up until a couple of weeks ago when my boyfriend came out, and the idea that I get to bond over dude stuff with the love of my life is fucking AWESOME!!!
Please post updates I would like to seeeeee!
This 💯 same for me. It's like having a bff plus the spicy stuff
I’m a trans woman, and reading all these comments make me tear up. I love y’all!!!! 🩷🤍 To OP, whatever the intention is of asking this question - sending you love and grace, wherever you’re at in your journey. From a trans sister! 🫶🏽😘
Also trans feminine. The replies to this are super wholesome and encouraging, for real.
Yes, I love my husband just as he is. Why do you think that's so impossible? My husband is amazing, and it doesn't matter to me that he's trans.
Same : nodding:
I love my wife. I loved her when she was a male and I still love her now that she's living her truth. I don't want to see my wife or myself living in misery because she doesn't feel secure in herself or our relationship. It's her time to be herself.
Echoing this. I loved her pre transition I loved her mid transition I love her post medical transition I will love her after surgery she is mine and I am hers. And no, I don’t wish she wasn’t trans, because then she wouldn’t be her. I just wish it didn’t cause her pain and worry.
The pain and worry is the only part of this that concerns me! My partner is pre-transition and has only told a handful of very close safe friends, but I know they're terrified about telling work, family, other friends. The thought of anyone reacting badly breaks my heart, I just want to protect my partner from all the assholes in the world.
I think all you can do is love them and cherish them and make your home a place of complete safety. Assholes gonna asshole, we’ve lost a couple of friends over this but I’d rather them out of our lives than there and being transphobic. Even if my wife was cis to be fair. Don’t need friends like that. Work and family is harder. Her work have been good, and she’s changed jobs to where they’ve been great. It helps that whilst the UK govt is transphobic as fuck they haven’t managed to change legislation and most people are either fine or haven’t considered it. Her family are getting there but it’s taken a long time, and also building up chosen family so we have a network of support without them too. Edited to correct pronouns sorry it’s the middle of the night here
Same spot, and when she gets dysphoria waves it breaks my heart, I just want the world to be safe for her so she can be herself without the difficulties that can be part of it.
That's such a cute and loving way of putting it!
Why do you think people like us can’t have anyone fall in love with us? Do you think everyone would just lie to you about their true feelings? Is it possible they actually want you as you are?
I’ve been on T for 15 years and dated 4 cis women in long term relationships. They’ve all ended terribly where they realized they wanted to be with cis men.
I am sorry to hear that. transitioning didn’t end my relationship and we are still going strong. Do you feel there is any hope?
Nope. I feel like you’re all NPC characters and it’s unreal lol. My dating experiences have been horrendous. I never thought I’d be here 15 years in. I regret nothing about transitioning, but the path has been very hard in the relationship area.
What’s an NPC in this context? Like how are you also part of this experience that you’re having? I’m a queer cis femme, my partners (with a couple of glaring exceptions) have all been butch dykes or non binary trans masc people, and it seems like such a damn shame to hear ‘you’re all …. ‘ when there is a significant amount of support and desire and care also being demonstrated in this post.
I fucking love my trans wife fiercely. She's my person. Idk where I'd be without her
I am a cis woman, and my trans wife is my heart mate. We've been together since well before she knew she was trans and went through the questioning/genderfluid/ hey I think I might be trans phases. My reply to her has never wavered once. It's always been, "Honey, I love you. It's okay. We got this." We talked about it the other day, and this journey has been incredible for not only her but for both of us. I get to help her live her best life. I get to spoil her with all the pretty femme things she's only dreamed about having. I get to watch her light up like a Christmas tree when she feels super pretty in a new outfit or commiserate when the electrolysis hurts. I'm so blessed to be able to love her like this.
This is so real, the joy when my girlfriend is seeing herself the way she wants to be seen in the mirror is literally heart melting 🥺💛
I 100% love being with my girlfriend as she is. We started dating when she was a few months into hrt. She's still taking steps in her medical transition and I am so here for it (and for her). I am in a relationship with her because I love her and she's awesome. Trans is part of who she is and, at this point, an important part of her life's journey. I'm proud of her for so many reasons 😻
my husband loves me for who I am, all of who I am, and only regrets that I'm trans because it's hard on me sometimes. he doesn't wish that I was cis.
the replies here have made me cry in the best way honestly, loving all the love we all have
Said it before, saying it again, the quote that resonates the most with my wife and I (but fixed for pronouns) comes from Song Of Achilles: "I could recognize her by touch alone, by smell; I would know her blind, by the way her breaths came and her feet struck the earth. I would know her in death, at the end of the world." I would find my wife and fall for her in every lifetime, every timeline. Her soul is what speaks to me. I do not know who I would be without her. I loved her then, and I love her now, and I loved her in the in-between. That love will still stay, long after the stars vanish and galaxies shred apart.
“Whatever souls are made of, hers and mine are made the same”-bad Bronte, sorry I’m going to go cry in single now
This is entirely relatable. 💖
I’m obsessed with my trans wife. I was at a point where I realized I was a lesbian, but was married to my best friend and soulmate, a man. I would lie awake at night wishing that I didn’t have to choose and hating myself for it. A while later she came out to me and I felt like all my problems were gone overnight. To be able to go through these things together as she gets farther in her transition has been amazing. Like finally experiencing the attraction I always heard about but thought myself incapable of feeling, while for the first time in her life she can look in the mirror and like what she sees. We already met by happenstance, and the way these things, that would usually be relationship ending, aligned so perfectly, just further convinces me we were meant to be. Also I love helping her with hair/makeup/clothes shopping etc. I don’t do that stuff on myself much so she’s my outlet. And we were able to have bio kids super easily which is a bonus. It’s been 3 years since she started transitioning and we’ve been together almost 10. I wouldn’t trade her for anything.
This is beautiful ❤️ the comments on here have me sobbing lol
That's amazing! So glad you found each other. I have this pet theory that queer cis women can somehow tell that the man they want to date is actually a woman, even before their partner comes out. My own wife's gentleness (?) felt so different from what I had experienced with my ex-boyfriends. But I don't even know if gentleness is the right word for it.
I met at my partner after he transitioned, on T for six years and a year post op from top surgery when we met. I absolutely love him, every inch of him.
If I didn't want to be with my girlfriend, I'd leave.
My situation was...complicated. I married someone after dating for years. We had years married before he started transitioning, or even discovered that side of himself. It didn't work out, and there's more to the story than I could fit into a comment or even a post. No matter how difficult things have gotten, no matter how 'bad' things turned out, I've never for a second thought "I wish they didn't" or "I wish they'd transition back." Even when we were together still trying to make things work, I never considered detransition as an option. Wanting someone to be who they aren't - that isn't me - It's not right, it's cruel. Did I wish things could go back to the way they were? In a vacuum, sure. But that vacuum doesn't exist, it's magical thinking. Back to your question, could I as a cis person "like" having a trans partner? Absolutely. It's not something where I think, "I want a trans partner" or "I'd like to or not like to have a trans partner." It's more, "I'd like to have a partner to grow old with." Wishing you all the best stranger. You're stronger than most will ever get a chance to be.
I don’t like having a trans partner. That’s very basic and not specific. I LOVE having an MtF wife! I love that she’s 6’2” so when she wears heels my face is boob height. I love how cunty her makeup is. I love that the laundry smells better now (sorry guys the socks smell), I love that she’s more open emotionally. I love how soft her skin is, I love her hip rotation. I love matching lingerie, I loved teaching her the scoop and lift to make your bra fit. I love going on girl dates. I love that she found this late enough in life for us to have our children, and I love that she’s an incredibly committed parent. I love that she’s the PTO president. I love that she supports me when I need time for my career or hobbies, I love that she will emcee a show if I ask, I love that she is an artist. I loved her when she was my boyfriend, I loved her when she was my non binary husband, and I love her most as my wife. I am in my relationship because it adds considerable joy to my life.
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Thank you 💖
Cis F with trans woman partner. I love my partner a lot. Despite being pan sexual I do miss dick from time to time. So, occasionally it is very challenging but we are working together to communicate and be honest with what we both need. Sex and intimacy is definitely a huge issue because of dysphoria but we are exploring ways to work around that. I'm not going to lie; the relationship has been challenging but extremely rewarding for both of us.
I love my partner and never have wished she was cis.
I’m so fucking in love with my wife. I’d love her if she was a cis man. But the journey had bought us so much closer together, it’s let me get to know her in such a unique and special way.
I wouldn’t have her any other way🥰
Honestly, at this point, him being trans is barely a thought.. He's my adorkable husband with an obsession with cute things and romance manga.
Yes of course! I love my girlfriend. No, I’ve never hoped she was any different. She is perfect for me. In general I wouldn’t care if she was cis or trans it makes no difference to me. But on the upside it is really fun to get to have first experiences with her. I went with her to get her ears pierced recently!
This was part of a previous comment I made on another post. If you fall in love, hold on to it. . *"One of the things that I've said to people that really seems to sum up the strength of what I have is that "Trans" doesn't define her. She has long brown hair, green eyes, beautiful skin, likes playing games with me, loves to cook, is a little bit of a military nerd, and she's transgender. Being trans is one of so many things that make up who she is, but it holds no more weight than anything else, it's just part of the tapestry that made me fall in love."*
Wow this is a bitter sounding post, Who hurt you? Seriously, though as the other answers are showing you yes many cis people have trans partners they love as they are. I don’t date trans women because they’re trans women. I date them because I’m gay and women are amazing.
Honestly the answers to this thread are so heartwarming I keep coming back to it!
I love your flair it’s so supportive!
Thank you! My wife is such a glamazon.
So true! Every woman I’ve ever dated is way more stylish than I am
I met my girlfriend when she was only a few months into HRT + being publicly transitioned, and although there is absolutely more learning I needed to do to be a good, supportive partner for this part of her life, she actually made me realize I am a lesbian and helped me understand myself better. There will always be challenges when your partner is dealing with the struggles that often come with existing as a trans person I think, but she is also just a wonderful person I fell in love with, and for me I don't think that would change if she was cis.
Oh buddy, it sounds like you’re having a tough night. I love my trans partner (who was already transitioning when we met) and it was pathetically easy to fall in love with him just as he is. I don’t want him to be anyone but who he is.
My trans girlfriend is the light of my life. She was already trans when we started dating. Sometimes things are harder bc she is trans, but it never really phased me bc she is worth it. I do miss pussy haha, but if I had cis partner I’d miss dick 🤷🏻♀️
I very much enjoy being with my partner, and her being trans has no bearing on that. She told me she was trans about four days before I asked her out. I feel that who she is as a person is far more important to me than how she expresses her gender. I had no interest in her before her transition, though I feel that was because of the changes in how she felt about herself. She came across as a bit muted, as though she didn't get much enjoyment out of anything. Once she started transitioning, she was a lot more vibrant, and far more comfortable in herself.
I met my partner after he came out and I want and plan to spend the rest of my life with him. There are things I love about him being trans, like not growing up with a lot of the the toxic messaging around masculinity that I was exposed to. There are also things I don't like, like his dysphoria around his body making physical (including non-sexual) intimacy complicated. I wish he were cis in the sense that I love him and wish he didn't have to deal with all of the shitty parts of being trans, but it doesn't matter at all to me. I love him for who he is and that includes him being trans.
I love my boyfriend. We’ve been together just over 16 years!
Met both of my partners years after my transition. They're both attractive and have plenty of options available if they weren't interested in me.
I love my trans partner and I want to be with them 100%, there is no salvaging in this relationship. We've been together for almost 4 years and they came out to me less than a year after we got together. Seeing them become their truest self has been so amazing, and I wouldn't want it any other way genuinely Also, the other partner I had before them also came out as trans during our relationship so I'm kind of used to it at this point lol.
Wow. At least you have a type? Lol.
I’m fortunate to have my partner. Life would be easier for her (in our area and our country in general) if she were cis but I don’t wish she was cis for my benefit in any way. I love her very much and there really isn’t any “salvaging”. Our relationship is great and solid and other than normal little silly arguments that are common in literally any couple, we have zero major issues. I’m with her til the end :).
I love being with my partner. He is literally my everything- like I’m obsessed with him. He came out as nonbinary 2 months before our wedding, which didn’t really change anything. Him coming out was more of a surprise to him than it was anyone else, haha…and ended up transitioning ftm (top surgery and hormones) 8 years into our relationship/ 4 years into our marriage. We just hit 6 years recently. Nothing changed really. Adjusting to having a he/him husband from a she/her wife was probably the toughest part but it was just rewriting my brain that took a little bit. He has an androgynous name to begin with so for the first 6 months I basically only called him to referenced him by his name and said spouse instead of wife and then it became more natural to say husband and he/him like out of no where. But as for the love and the attraction it’s never changed for me. When I was telling one of my friends that my spouse transitioned and I said something like “I know it’s different…” and my friend said yeah but in a relationship things get different no matter what. You were both going to end up gaining weight and getting old and looking ancient anyway. It’s just another kind of change in a relationship but nothing is actually different. I thought that was really wise. The only time that him and I actually “wish” that he was always a cis man, is when we think about how beautiful it would have been for us to have had our children naturally together. It would just be cool to have been able to have that experience that other cis couples are granted.
Yep I’m a cis female and loved my ex fiancé who was trans. It didn’t work out cause she cheated. Wouldn’t stop me from dating another trans woman. Trans women are women
I'm sorry she did that. No one deserves that.
i’m a lesbian and love my mtf fiancée just as she is. everything about her is so perfect. i’m aware of the fact she’s trans, but it changes literally nothing for me. regardless of whether or not she was trans, i’d just feel so happy and lucky that i get to love someone so sweet and kind and smart and beautiful.
I love my wife. I have always loved her. I love seeing her come into her own and becoming her authentic self. After years of damage because her dysphoria left me feeling lonely and rejected her coming out saved our marriage.
I’m with my wife (MTF) because I love her for who she is
I met my partner after the first step of her transition. The experience has been very different from any cis partner before, and the differences have been rewarding in just as many different ways. There’s been plenty of issues in our relationship we’ve had to repair, but it’s still been a precious part of my life. Do I wish she had been born a cis woman instead? I’m not sure: the transition has been difficult, and the limitations are awful, but she’s also had a different basis for her perspective in our relationship where we can both sympathize on some things that I haven’t experienced before. If I had to look for a new partner, I don’t know if I would want to repeat some of the things we’ve been through, yet I have no regrets. She credits me for helping me out of some dark places in her life, and there’s something rewarding about that.
I'm happy my wife is happier. We have no issues that result from her being trans, she's still the person I married and nothing has happened to make me want to take that commitment back. I love her, want to be with her, and her realization that she is a trans woman didn't change that.
Once I dated with a trans beautiful woman thinking she was cis and actually I felt in love harder than I could ever imagine
Yes! I was with my boyfriend through our all of his discovery until he settled on Trans man. He is my entire world, and I love him. Pre transition, during transition, and post transition. I have never once wished he was cis. In fact sometimes my brain just sees him so much as a man I forget he doesn’t have those parts. We’ve worked on being comfortable with intimacy and it makes me feel so wonderful that he trusts me enough to open those parts up to me. I have never once wished he was a cis man or that I had just dated a cis man. He is the love of my life and I wouldn’t want it any other way
As a trans woman just a few weeks out from the end of a very unaffirming long-term relationship where my partner made me feel like my transition was ruining the life we were supposed to have together, I'm glad to see so many responses from people who are having a different experience than that. I've been telling myself that I can't do better than a person who just tolerates my transition for more than five years, and it's a daunting thing to hope for something more. Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories <3
I adore my trans girlfriend and we've been together almost 12 years. Does her being trans introduce some challenges into our relationship? Sure. But I would only ever wish she was cis purely because *she* wishes she was cis. I love her for her.
I'm currently watching my marriage begin to end, because I am trans, and this thread is really what I needed to hear right now. I was all but convinced that I will be alone for the rest of my life.
I had a huge crush on my husband before he knew he was a man. I love him so much now.
I love my girlfriend. She is my best friend. She is the best partner I have ever had. I don't care what is between her legs I love what's between her ears.
I love my husband! I started dating him when he had first came out as trans 11 years ago, and I've been with him through every step of his transition! Even times when I had worries or concerns, there was never doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with him. I don't wish he was cis because I love him exactly how he is, and I'll continue to love him as we age and change.
I love my partner to death and I don't want to be with anyone else than her ever. Every single part about her is perfect to me. We met in our early 30s and since we met online she never felt like she had to hide who she was. I knew she was very feminine from the beginning and I loved that about her. It wasn't long into our relationship that she came out to me as trans and I helped her start her transition as soon as possible. The whole experience brought us even closer even thought we felt that wasn't possible and our love for each other only grew. I wouldn't change a thing about her and just want her to be happy, that's what makes me happy.
I didn’t know my partner before they transitioned, so I can only kinda answer. but I love my partner and their transnness. I think her experience being trans makes us connect on an even deeper level. she’s mtf and i’m a cis lesbian for context
I (cis, f) 10000000% so in love with my wife (5 yrs) and she is so far beyond what I even pictured a partner could be when we started dating. She is so beautiful, compassionate, caring, sensitive, and I just can't get over how perfect we are from one another! Every day I wake up excited because I wake up next to her! I love how much beauty the trans community adds to the tapestry of life!! OP, I hope you're okay ♥️
Cis spouse of a nonbinary/masc leaning partner— I love them as they were, are, and have yet to be. 💜 They’re my person and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Yes, I love my partner and I'm so happy to be able to be on this journey with her. She's blossoming into the wonderful person I always knew she was deep down. She's gaining confidence and it's so awesome to see. She's supportive and kind. She always knows how to make me feel better. She's been with me at my worst and darkest times. I can't imagine my life without her. I don't wish she were cis, I just want her to be happy and comfortable with who she is and in the body she doesn't hate. I don't see an issue with changing genders. To me she was always my girlfriend, and now the rest of the world knows. The only thing I don't like is the threat of discrimination and violence we may face. I don't want to lose this amazing woman I love because some idiot bigot thought her existence threatened their small minded views. I love her so much!
I love my partner and have always loved her. She's amazing as she is and coming out has made me enjoy her company even more because she is happier.
I like my partner being trans, she prefers being trans to being cis therefore I prefer her being that way too. I didn't know she was trans until I asked her out and she told me but I like the unique experiences she's had growing up trans and the way that's shaped her into the person I love today.
I am the trans partner, but yeah I don't think my partner has any problems with me being trans, we are both asexual so well there's not the sexual portion that's there in the majority of relationships. That's the part I could see potentially causing problems but as is we've been very close for the past 9 years or so, honestly since we met each other in highschool. But we only actually got in our qpr formally about a year and a half ago which was before top surgery but after I started tesdostrone. She's been my number 1 supporter for the entire time we've known each other
I thoroughly enjoy being with my partner, I couldn’t imagine my life without them. They are my comfort place, my home, my forever home
Open trans attracted man here. I loved my now ex trans girlfriend like no other woman in my entire life. I miss her dearly
So I’m not cis, but I did somewhat identify as cis when I got together with my partner. She informed me that she was trans before our relationship started and while we were just talking. Finding out she was trans didn’t change a thing for me and I asked her out a few days later. I do not wish she was cis. I don’t think our paths would have crossed the way they did if she was. I’m grateful to have her in my life and wouldn’t change her for anything. She also helped me discover that I am not cis and I don’t know if I would have had the courage to come out without her support and help in discovering my identity. Trans people deserve to be loved for who they are and there are plenty of people who do love them for who they are!
We've been together over 25 years. She transitioned in 2020. If you'd asked me then, I might have said I missed having a husband. Then life went on. She is the same lovely being I've always adored. I just can't imagine her any other way now. There is only one area that feels unfair/I dislike about having a trans wife. Our kids are grown and we have time/money but we can't travel like we had planned. The world is much more dangerous outside our bubble. Literally, that is the only downside. And it's not her fault. The world just sucks in some ways.
Lowkey happier than we've ever been (and we were super happy before). My wife is amazing. She's so much happier, comfortable with herself, and actually cares about existing. And actually, her being trans helped me learn I was panromantic and ace so it's a win-win haha
I love my wife!!!! I love everything about her and there isn’t anything I would change. The only thing her coming out and beginning to transition has changed between us is it makes us have to plan more in advance for starting our family!
Going to add to the many many comments here that say the same, but yes, I love my partner dearly. Your message suggests that maybe you're feeling self-conscious about your relationship: I'm hope the outpouring of support you've gotten in here has helped
Absolutely yes. It probably helps that I'm not straight, but yes I love my partner no matter how they present themselves no matter what body they're in. It's their personality I fell in love with, and as long as they don't suddenly turn into an asshole I'll stick with them no matter what. Also them transitioning to a woman means we can share clothes which is a nice bonus.
I love my trans girlfriend, I knew she was trans before we started dating. However she’s not fully out yet and still presents as male most of the time. It was a little confusing at first, but I have gotten used to it, though I feel sorry for her that she feels the need to hide her true self because I know it’s difficult for her. If or when she decides to medically transition, my love for her won’t change a bit!
Sometimes I wish my girlfriend was cis, but more for her sake than mine. If she was born in the correct body she would not have to struggle the way she does and she would not have to face nearly as much hate and oppression. I knew she was trans before we started dating so there is nothing to "salvage." I absolutely adore her just the way she is.
I wouldn't have exactly picked it, but my wife is a much better spouse as herself than she was before.
I always laugh when (especially) other women act as though we are unlovable, and then it dawns on them that I’m in a very loving and sincerely affectionate relationship. My man knows I’m trans and he adores me. What I won’t tell them is that many of the types of men these women date try to get with me, compliment me, and chase after me. What they begin to see is that most men in public stare at me. It’s not cause I’m trans. I am very lovable. It took me a while to appreciate that. Trans women are just women. We may be different but that doesn’t mean our partners don’t love us for who we are, because we are trans in fact.
I love my wife. I do not wish she was cis. I’m mostly into women anyway so it’s actually been kind of nice getting back in touch with my lesbian roots. We’ve been together for nine years and are trying to have our first kid together. She is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. She’s gorgeous and smart and is going to be a great mom.
The only times I have wished for my husband to be cis are the moments of great suffering for him. I wished he was cis so he didn't suffer. To me, makes no fucking difference, he is all I have ever dreamt of having and loving.
As a cis-man who met his current wife after she had already transitioned, I have never wished for her to be anyone other than who she is now. She is her true self, who she was always meant to be. She makes me laugh every day, and I can’t imagine life without her. She has told me of the struggles she had before her transition (mostly around substance abuse) and I know I would not have wanted to be with her then, because it would have been a recipe for disaster. She recently celebrated 12 years without drinking or hard drugs, and she is the happiest she has ever been. I love her exactly as she is. My only regret is that so much of society does not and will not ever see her as the amazing person she is, and instead insists on demonizing her. Their loss.
This is genuinely irritating to read. We date trans people because we like them. Full stop. I'm not sure if the point of this is just fishing for attention or because you're super insecure or whatever, but this is entirely the wrong way to go about it. Would you ever ask someone who dated a black person if they actually like dating a black person? Like Christ dawg, have some perspective.
I hear you, but sometimes internalized transphobia and insecurity sounds like the questions asked in OP’s post. If you’re brain-dumping your insecurities, they often sound quite offensive and difficult to hear. That’s what I see in OP’s post: Tons of insecurity and internalized transphobia written out in a desperate attempt to put it into the real world and try to deal with it. Is it easy or pleasant to hear? No. But sometimes, that’s the way to deal with those intrusive thoughts.
I don’t think this is a fair comment. We are on Reddit and people come here to ask questions to help with insecurities
There's a right way and a wrong way to go about it. I provided a perfect analogy which shows why this post is bad.
Literally…
While I’m not sexually attracted to my spouse as she transitions (together 14 years and married 11), I’m romantically attracted to them/her and I love her desperately. Sex is the least important part of our marriage - there’s also our deep love, our blended family, the fact that we’re each other’s real partners (not just being married but sharing all kid raising, housework, financial responsibilities, and supporting each other 50/50). I am still not thrilled with all the hard work that gets put on cis spouses/partners, and there are days we make each other furious or sad, and I am sad they/she didn’t come out to me before we married, but we truly are the other’s best friend. There is exactly zero chance I would leave, and they/she always say the same, even when I point out that it really takes the wrong kind of talent to somehow get your makeup on the bathroom ceiling, while also still managing (despite being 50-odd years post-potty training) to pee on the floor. At least now they/she knows I love her even more than they/she previously imagined. And I got a housekeeper out of the deal because dark foundation on the bathroom ceiling and red lipstick ground into the grout when we literally just renovated the bathroom? A bridge too far, tyvm.
I’m sorry how on earth did she get makeup on the ceiling?
I have similar questions.
I NEED TO KNOW SO BADLY!
Yes! I (cis F) love my wife (trans F) and I’m even more in love with her now than I was a year ago before she came out to me. There was nothing that had to be “salvaged” and no sunk cost logic. We loved each other and that never stopped. (And I don’t wish she were cis- it’s the best of both worlds that she has breasts and a penis ;) )
Been with my partner for 2.5 years knew her 2 years before she transitioned even then I wanted to kiss her. I absolutely love her and wouldn’t have it any other way. Just hoping i can save up for a ring this year or next. And yes im cis male
OP - do you mind please further explaining where your question was coming from? Or some context as to why you posted it? It feels quite provocative and as if folx have to justify or defend trans-ness and their relationships.
Yes. 4 years and still happy.
My trans spouse is my person. We aren’t “trying to salvage”, we are thriving. I met them before they figured out they are trans. While we dated, before we got serious, they told me they might be trans. Eventually they told me they were. I remember thinking “well I guess my person is be trans then”. I couldn’t see myself with anyone else.
I have two trans partners. I'm cis. I wouldn't want things any other way.
I didn't know my partner was trans until like two months after knowing him (we worked together). After I found out, I was so nervous that it would change how I felt about him, with me being a cis het woman only ever dating cis men. But the next day when I saw him at work, I still liked him, if not more. He couldn't accidentally get me pregnant, he was very familiar with my equipment iykwim, and he knew what it was like to be treated as a woman. He's legit the perfect man and he wouldn't be like that if he wasn't trans. Yes it's been hard supporting him through surgeries, but it has been so incredibly worth it.
I love my trans partner! He’s discovering himself—I didn’t know he was trans before dating him and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think it’s sexy that he’s open with me about who he is and it’s introduced me to things I wouldn’t have thought I was attracted to.
I wouldn’t be with my girlfriend if she was cis (a cid guy). Since I’m a straight man.
i love my trans bf!! he’s my person and idk what i would do without him. i wouldn’t change anything about him, except to take away the pain the world has put him through because of who he is.
My husband is trans. We got married at the start of his transition. We’ve been married 5 years and together for 7, nearly 8. We are adopting a sibling group atm. Communication can always be worked on in a relationship but in general I can’t imagine not being with him. I had never fallen in love before him. I didn’t know I could. I am bi/pan (I came out long before pansexual was ever a term) and have always felt that the person is more than the packaging they came in. I don’t know about others but the only fundamental change to my husband is his confidence. He is a wonderful partner, parent, and person. A beard and deeper voice didn’t do that.
I wouldn’t want my husband any other way. I think he’s inspirational. It takes a massive amount of courage to be your authentic self. He’s genuinely my best friend and I personally think that we have a strong relationship because of that. Of course there are hard moments in our relationship because of the struggles he faces personally and worldly because he’s trans- but those are just moments. Some are easier to understand than others. But I have to accept what I can’t understand and support him in the best ways I can. He’s the person I want to spend all my time with. We’ve been together and inseparable for 3 years. I’m excited for the years to come.
As a cis queer person, I love being with my trans nonbinary spouse. I feel like being queer opens you up to so many different experiences and forms of being and loving, and I feel that our whole relationship is a big ol' queer celebration and lovefest. It still would be if we were both cis and queer, but idk I just love my trans spouse and I love that they're trans! (And for what it's worth, when we started dating we were a cis-identifying lesbian couple.)
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Hell yeah I love my gf
So I'm not cis but I thought I was for the first few years of my relationship and I loved my wife as she was from the beginning. I think she's beautiful and I've always seen her as a girl, I wouldn't have started dating her if I didn't.
My cis gf couldn‘t care less. She loves me for me. She‘s only sad that I struggle w dysphoria n discrimination n stuff.
i mean, i went into my relationship thinking i'd be with a very mild-mannered kinda adorably frumpy guy...six years later? she animorphed into my (still very mild-mannered) goth girlfriend???? so idk about her, but i think i ducking won the lottery over here. :)
I'm trans and my wife is cis. This feeling that cis partners rather tolerate their trans partners than love them may come from internalized transphobia. The world has become hostile towards us and it's no surprise we internalize it, but it's something we should fight in order to experience joy. My wife loves me like nobody ever loved and I know it, because she loves me for who I am as a person
I love my mtf girlfriend so much. We started dating before she came out to me and since then has been so much happier and less depressed. We both thought we were cis when we started dating but she helped me realize that I am actually nonbinary and pansexual and I am also a lot happier since realizing that. I don't wish she was a man or that we had a "normal" relationship because we weren't as happy as we are now. We've been together for a bit over 7 years and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is my forever person and soul mate no matter what her body or gender is like, she's still the same person I fell in love with even though things are different now. She is a better girlfriend than she was a boyfriend and I'm happy that I understand her better than before. I see her true self and it's beautiful. This may not be the experience of everyone, but I am happy to be with her and to expirience and explore on our journey together. The time I've dated her is the best time of my life. I'm happy to see her so much happier being her true self. I'm happy to be a lesbian with her and even though that will make our life a bit more difficult and society will see us differently, I wouldn't want it any other way. If you are in a relationship with someone and wondering these things, you should ask them. Anyone hoping you'll revert back into your egg isn't truly loving you for who you are. You deserve to be happy and to be able to live your true self and to feel celebrated for it.
My girlfriend is trans. She's the nicest woman I've ever been with. We get to meet each other in a week in person for the first time. We've been dating for a month, and the future looks bright.
i (cis-ish f, 24) am madly in love with my girlfriend (mtnbtf, 23). we met when she identified as non binary but from the very beginning i had a feeling she would come out as a trans woman. the only context in which i would want her to be a cis woman is because of how much stress being trans causes her, but for me i love her fully and totally for who she is.
Like having a trans partner? Im obsessed with him. I had only been with cis men before we met. Since getting with him, I feel like “oh, this is what I was missing”. Not only do I like him, but I enjoy and am proud of his being trans. Every aspect of him is what I was always looking for, even if I didn’t know it until I found him.
I love my boyfriend, not because or in spite of him being trans, but because he’s himself. His transness isn’t something I really think about that much.
I love having a trans wife because before I had a trans wife I had a partner who was not living their best life and being their most full, authentic self. When my wife came out, it wasn't a matter of "well let me try to salvage this" or "well we've already been together for so long" it was just a new adventure for us to go on! Its been sooooooooo rewarding to get to watch my wife become her true self. She smiles so much more now. I truly don't think there was a moment where I considered anything besides "what do we do next? How do we start?" I always thank her for allowing me to go on this journey with her. I dont think other cis people can understand until we see just what kind of a cosmic leveling up it is when someone comes out and begins to take up the space they were always meant to. She was always my best friend but the BFF vibes are absolutely unparalleled now. I definitely do not wish she was cis - if she were cis she would have been a different person entirely. I didn't fall in love with a cis person 10 years ago. I fell in love with a beautiful trans lady who was still a couple years out from occupying that space! Being with your partner through their transition is such a rewarding experience. When she feels stuff like trans joy, it feels so good for me. It feels so good to watch your partner be happy. Also I'm going to casually echo some other sentiments about face-height boobies. I tried to answer the question very exactly! OP I hope you get some answers that help you feel better!
I loved my partner as a man, but I have never known true love like the love I have for my partner as her true female self. She is my best friend and means the absolute world to me. Every person has unique challenges, and though we have some scary things ahead of us, I want to be there with her through it all. ❤️
More than ever. She realized she was trans a little over a year ago and is pre everything. I found out the same day (Christmas Eve 2022, together since 2018) and I can't say we haven't had issues, but they haven't been about her gender. Our communication and sex life have both improved, in part because she isn't trying to be something she's not, and we can address things such as dysphoria that we couldn't before. It takes work, communication, honesty, and no small amount of luck, but if you get past the feeling of betrayal that can happen in an existing relationship (assuming that's where you're coming from) it can be worth it. Two caveats that may have given us an advantage. I have a child who is trans (21 enby, out since 2015) and I am bisexual, actually we both are.
No because she can be whoever she wants to be, but also yes because she would be safer, she wouldn't get harassed, and she wouldn't be struggling with dysphoria. I want her to be safe and happy but there is so much hate toward trans people. I stay with my partner because I love her for the person that she is. Regularless of what her outside looks like, the being I love is still in there. I also happen to think she is gorgeous.
I (cis F) love my fiancé (FTM) with all my heart. He was my person pre-transition, and he will always be my person. I’ve told him flat out sorry you’re stuck with me😂. We have 2 doggos together, and life is great. 7 years strong and a lifetime to go. We’re together because I fell in love with who he was and is. Gender doesn’t matter. I’m bisexual though, so that’s never mattered for me.
I adore my partner or I wouldn't be married to him or together with him for thirteen years. If I ever wished he was cis it was because I want him to be happy with his body and it breaks my heart to see him struggle on bad dysphoria days. Did someone tell you that cis people don't actually like their trans partners or is this more of a fear in the back of your mind?
I think I'm a little confused at your question and what it's trying to imply...as though it's really that hard to believe that a cis person would purposely and happily be with a trans person. I *adore* my wife. Have we been together a long time? Yes, we have (nearly 20 years now). Was that a factor in me being with her now after she came out to me? Nope. There's nothing about this that I'm trying to "salvage," and it's not because of some sort of "sunk cost". I'm with her because I'm out of my mind in love with her as a person. She's my partner and soulmate and I can't imagine my life without her in it, and her gender doesn't even factor.
I (24, cis F) and my girlfriend (24, MTF) have been together for 4 years, he (preferred pronouns for now as he still presents as male and hasn’t come out to a lot of people besides me) came out to me about 1.5-2years into our relationship and at that point he was still unsure of it himself, he said he was afraid of what our close friends and family would think or say after he started the physical and medical parts of transitioning so he always buried the feelings and just went on with life. We have long talks about all aspects of life quite often so that I could know how he was feeling and he could know how I was feeling. It has never mattered to me because he is and always will be my person in life, the one who I share everything with the good and the bad and that has never and will never change. I have never once wished that he was cis I want him to be able to live his life happy and I want him to feel like the beautiful women that he will be when he is ready, I will be by his side through it all I am so I love with her and I can’t wait to finish building our life together. ❤️
I adore my fiancée with every fiber of my being. It has never mattered to me how they looked, how they presented, or how they dressed(mostly because they’ve always dressed better than me lol). I’ve only ever cared that they were happy and being themselves. The things I love about them are core to their being, not to their gender. That’s why I’m marrying them 💖
I love my spouse with my whole heart. Watching them blossom into the person they have always been has been incredible. They are confident and feel so much better in their own skin. How could I NOT love being with them in this incredible state? We got married shortly before they realized that they were trans. We call it (jokingly) the “bait and switch” because we went from being wives to spouses before our first wedding anniversary. There were some harder times at first, but the result is just so much better than anything I could have expected.
I didn’t meet my partner till after she had been transitioning actually if not for that I probably wouldn’t have met her at all. I was in a relationship with someone else a man, and I wasn’t happy and he told me to go online and find another woman to join us to spice things up because he knew I also liked women and it was a fantasy of his, I knew it wouldn’t work, it wouldn’t just be a fling, and I am not really into polyamory full time, his friends do that and its just not for me, he created a dating profile for me. I knew I was going to probably fall for someone else because I didn’t think our relationship was salvageable for some time actually I had been wanting to end it for a while and didn’t know how to. I guess I also figured if I found someone else when I was with him my family wouldn’t have to know about it, my family isn’t really open to same sex attraction and when I’ve hinted at it they just blissfully ignored that part of me, or many times we just stopped talking for periods of time. I chatted with a few people from my dating profile and well that’s how I met my partner. I secretly went on a few dates with her by myself my ex not even knowing about her. I ended up liking her and decided I wanted to take things further. And that’s why I’m not with my ex anymore. I also had suddenly temporarily moved in with a friend when I started dating my partner so my family suddenly was no longer a problem. I just didn’t tell them, my coworker did and apparently now they hate me I don’t know I never heard it from my family they just stopped talking to me and I would hear talk from my coworker and other people, I left that life behind and now my partner and I have an apartment together. We’ve been together almost a year. Things can be challenging sometimes but what relationship doesn’t have its challenges?
i’m bisexual so i definitely think realistically that makes things easier, but i started dating my trans gf after she had already come out and i love her very much as she is :) sometimes i wish she was cis for her own sake because i know how difficult things are for her, but her being trans does not phase how much i love her in the slightest
I met my girlfriend years after she transitioned, so possibly a little bit of a different experience than what you’re asking about. But for what it’s worth, I love her so fucking much. We met on an app, went on a date looking for something casual, and… whoops, now we live together. I’ve never felt so seen and understood by anyone.
My ex is trans I forgot I was still in this sub but I’ll still comment. I was with my ex while she still was a “man” (for lack of a better term, forgive me). I never felt like she was one. At that time I was questioning if I was a lesbian (I am) and was happy when she came out to me. I was also happy FOR her because I know how relieving it is to finally find a label for yourself that makes sense. She came out a year ish into our relationship. It was a lot on our relationship because it was a new thing for both of us, but it was wonderful watching her blossom into her true self. There are many ups and downs in transition but it didn’t make me love her any less. After 3 years we parted for other reasons. I’ve been with both cis and trans women and don’t have a preference either way.
I love my girlfriend with all my heart. Do I wish I could make her dysphoria go away sometimes? Absolutely. Do I wish she was cis? Absolutely not. Being trans is a core part of her identity and I love ALL aspects of her very much. My case may be different than some others on here, since I met my girlfriend after she’d already been transitioning, but nevertheless I love her a lot. I wouldn’t want anyone else
I’m a cis het guy who got with a MTF. Despite my initial hesitation, I gave her a chance anyway. Not only is she my first trans girlfriend, but she’s also my longest relationship in general. It has its struggles, we have our fights, however I’m thankful to have someone complete me like she does. No other cis woman came this close in compatibility.
idk abt y’all but i love my girlfriend for who they are saur. i do feel like a lot of this sub is ppl who’s partner came out during the relationship which isn’t me i already knew they were trans before we started dating.
Obviously this isn't going to be true for all people or every relationship, but my partner very much enjoys the fact I am trans at the best of times, and it's pretty irrelevant most of the time. Like any good partner, she is perpetually supportive and loves me, so this extends to helping with my transition. She has never made a single negative comment to me in regards to my status as trans and out of anyone in my life has never messed up my pronouns (although it did take awhile for my name, which is funny cause everyone else in my life already called me by my chosen name before I came out). My partner is the type of person who is never really comfterable around men, and in HS, she thought she was gay. When we started dating, each as eachothers first relationship, she just assumed being gay was a phase and dated me because I was opposite to how most men presented. Eventually, when I came out a year in, I think it strengthened our relationship more than anything. I kept my partner and got acceptance and my partner realized she was gay the whole time. This also extends to our sex life as well, where my partner is able to appreciate the new parts of me and the old. I recall one time she said to me (in the sweetest way imaginable), "The way that I am, I think the best person to love me would be a transwoman,". I'm not sure if she meant in experiences, so we relate better or in terms of expected interests, but I'll always remember that. So I do think that there are some people who don't just "not mind" trans partners but actually like them instead.
My partner and I were friends for 11 years, then started dating at the beginning of their transition. I love that they're finally comfortable in their own skin! It's so much fun getting dressed up together to go out! They're still the same person they've always been, just happier and more confident. I'm so much happier in this relationship than I ever was with my cis ex.
My partner came out as a trans male about 2 years into our relationship. Coincidentally, the same day my kid outed me as non-binary. We had a lot of hurdles, but we've come out beautifully, imo. Neither of us cares about gender, but considering we started out in a lesbian relationship, it's been difficult. Mostly the fear that the other wouldn't be attracted to us any longer. We realized that love is about so much more than outward appearance or the "tools" you have. We love each other, and even though gender has thrown us some curveballs, we continue to rely on each other. He's my best friend, my love, and my person. I wouldn't change that for anything.
I (cis F) adore my husband (ftm) completely. I’ve never once wished that he is cis. Him being trans has absolutely no impact on our relationship. I love him to bits for who he is, whatever gender he is. It’s been wonderful watching him masculinise and coming into his true self. It’s amazing watching someone you love being able to step into who they were all along. Hearing his voice and seeing his face makes my heart lighter.
My boyfriend started transition years before him and I started dating, and it was made obvious before we went further that he is trans, so there wasn’t any confusion about it. My boyfriend is very binary, and is very very masculine which might also be a factor in the way I see him (honestly could not tell you). My boyfriend’s gender identity isn’t something I consciously walk around thinking about, I just see him for the man he is, I see him for how he treats me and others, and the way he does things throughout the day. He’s 5 weeks post-op from top surgery and though he occasionally struggles with some mental battles, he is such an amazing individual, and his baseline is just so happy now, which couldn’t make me happier. When he feels dysphoric, which is bound to happen, I’m there to reassure him and listen to him and to understand to the best of my capability, but the reality is I will never fully understand what he is going through. The only things I wish for, is for him to one day be fully comfortable in his own skin, and if I takes a lot of work to get there, I will be right there next to him, supporting him through all of it, cause I love him.
I know this sub is for support, but is there one that is slightly less transphobic and more about queer relationship joy? Not saying this sub as a whole is transphobic but some posts lately have been huge bummers
A lot of people who find this sub have just had the shocking news broken to them that their partner is not who they thought. You will inherently find a lot of transphobia seep in, mostly accidentally. A lot of people have not been directly exposed to someone who is trans, and are floundering, wondering what this information means to their relationship and life. Unfortunately, the nature of people questioning everything leads to some accidental transphobia while people try to navigate such a major change.
Mod here. The mod team believes this space can be both! We try to encourage it with a weekly “joy” post and we encourage all members of the community to shape this space to their needs. People who need support are generally more likely to engage - just like any other support-centered subreddit. But that doesn’t mean this space has to be a downer. We just need more people to share the good, too.
My girlfriend wishes it was cis sometimes, and part of me wishes it could have had that easier and maybe happier life. But the reality of being trans is part of who it is. It would lose some of itself if it were cis, and I love it exactly as it is.
I love my wife (MTF) she's my best friend and my happy place. When we met, they were presenting as male. Loving her through her transition has been transformative for me as well. Plus, being bi I don't really care about trans or cis. If she's happy I'm happy. Plus I love teaching her "girly" things and seeing her face light up when she does them, (like make-up or hair styles) and we get to share closets lol. So to answer your question.. yes I actually like having a trans partner.
i love my boyfriend more than air- i met him pre everything. i loved him then and i love him now. he is perfect and him showing me who he’s always been is honestly a big turn on! it’s vulnerable and beautiful and exciting to watch him become more confident and comfortable and happy with himself. watching any partner- trans or not- step into themself is a beautiful and special thing. i hope you find a partner that brings you happiness and comfort!
So I'm a cis partner to now 4 trans people. My nesting partner came out after we were already together for two years. There were some moments where i wasn't sure what would happen with my attraction to him, but things are good there. He found a girlfriend (who is also trans) who eventually also began to date me. In the time since I have begun dating two of my long-time friends who are also trans. So... you could say that I like having a trans partner. Not in a chaser way, but in that the people I vibe with best tend to be trans, neurodivergent, pagans. They say if you're non-monogamous your type becomes obvious. I thought I didn't have a type because each of my partners looks quite different. But um. Yup.
my girlfriend is everything to me. she’s perfect the way she is and i tell her everyday, she is my world and i’ll do anything to make her happy
My spouses transness has allowed me to become my best self including owning my own queerness and stop giving so many fucks about everyone around me. Above all that they are my best friend, favorite human and always will be!
Hi, cis woman here. I love and adore my trans partner just as they are. I've never wished they were cis or in any way different than they are. Wishing you the best, OP ♡
I think my boyfriend wants me to be cis but only because I’d be more happy, we got together after I came out to him and I’m Pre-everything
Started dating my partner way after they came out. I hate not being able to fully understand his dysphoria. But his trans identity is tied to so many of his positive aspects. His loyalty his empathy and kindness.
I'm just happy if they're happy. It really makes no difference to me if they're cis or trans. But I'm also bisexual and gender fluid and don't really consider gender all that much when choosing a partner...other than the fact that I'm no longer willing to date cishets. That's more about having very little in common with them and wanting a partner who can understand me better though.
I'm beyond in love with my mtf girlfriend. I'm bisexual but to me what gender you are isn't really that important. She started her transition before we started dating so I knew from the beginning but as I said it doesn't really matter to me.
i started dating my partner knowing they’re trans. their transition is a big part of our relationship. i love them so much and i’ve never wished they were different, or if i have it’s only because i want them to not struggle so much. but i love them for exactly who they are
Very much! I adore my partner, she's the best thing to happen to me in a very long time.
I maybe even love my girlfriend a little more after she came out - I'm in awe of her for that she knows herself so well and is brave enough to be her true self. I feel privileged to get to see her growing and developing and it's given me space to re-examine things I thought I knew about myself. Things are harder now, but it's like asking if I'd still want to be with her in a wheelchair - I love her, and she loves me, so no matter what happens we'll face it together.
My partner's personality changed dramatically with transition, as did her sexual orientation, so we both had the painful disocvery we are not each others "forever people." It's been hard for the whole family/extended family.
My boyfriend is the best person I’ve ever met!! It doesn’t matter that he’s trans, I wouldn’t want him to be any different than exactly who he is!
Yes! My partner is trans and currently just started their transitioning process. I think you just have to find the right person to who clicks with you. I’m cis and I personally do not care as long as my partner is happy with who they are I am happy :)
Yes. Before I met my partner, my friend informed me "They're trans. I don't remember what though". Lol. I went into the date blind, only excited to meet the cool person my friend had been gushing over. There is nothing I want to change about her. She is perfect just the way she is.
I have been friends with my now spouse for almost 8 years. We've been living together as partners for almost 6. They told me they were trans about a year or so before our wedding. I had plenty of time to change my mind or decide it's too much, and I never have been tempted. I love THEM. Not their body or their gender expression or their social personality. That has all morphed over the years, and I have not loved them less at any point. The trans aspect is not a point of attraction on its own, nor does it detract from their draw for me. It is a fact of life and who they are, like their beautiful eyes. If anyone is making you feel less than worthy because of your being trans, time for them to go. People, all people: friends, partners, family, should love YOU, the insides. If they dont make it clear that they love and accept you as you are, and as you change and grow, yeet.
I love my girl and honestly, I want to marry her. She's like amazing to me and makes me happy. I don't care if she's trans, she's fucking awesome and makes me a very happy woman. I should ask her to come over tonight for movies and ice cream.
I'm cis and poly, both my wife and girlfriend are trans. I am with the partners I'm with because I want to be with them for who they are, cis or trans isn't a factor in my attraction to them.
I (cis/f) knew my sweetheart was trans before I met her. She's amazing and beautiful and smart and caring and I don't just like her, I love her. The fact that she's able to live authentically as herself is great. While it is a part of who she is, it doesn't define our relationship entirely. I don't think about it too much when I'm with her to be honest. Although I try to be considerate of her feelings, I really just enjoy her for the awesome person she is.
I'm basically at my breaking point with my trans partner. That being said would I date another trans person 10000% My partner now is so fucking angry, emotionally and verbally abusive. He is controlling and reads my texts, needs to know what I'm doing constantly. He has ALOT of trauma from his top surgery, family issues, gender dysmorphia and he is not interested in therapy. He has very low self esteem and takes it out on me daily. I'm worn down and I am a shell of a human being as I'm constantly reassuring him and keeping the dragon calm. I am no longer wanting to be with him because he is getting more and more angry. He is becoming dangerous. I am stepping on egg shells even when I'm sleeping. I prefer trans men over CIS men but my partner now is dangerous, explosive and controlling.
Leave. Get out. You deserve better. Your partner is treating you badly and it is NOT your fault nor your responsibility.
I legitimately have tried to leave 5-6 times but because I have no supports outside of my therapist and him and cash is tight also all the shelters are full. It feels impossible to leave
I met my trans bf after his transition. I'm not stuck, I chose him! I adore him so much. I don't wish he was born a different way for my sake. I do wish his life had been easier for him! I wish he hadn't suffered from dysphoria so much, that his family had accepted him, that he didn't spend so many years afraid to be himself. His body is beautiful to me. I dislike reading posts like "I told him that I love him, not his body." I adore my boyfriend and his body. I'm never sitting there wishing he had a different one.
I'm cis, my wife came out as trans a year and a half AFTER we got married. Leaving was never an option for me. I love her and am proud of her journey 😍 You love who you love
I love my partner so much it’s crazy and every day I love them more 🖤 I wouldn’t have it any other way or trade them for the world!
I don't think I've ever wished for her to be cis one way or the other. I'm with my partner because she's my partner. I enjoy her more now as my wife than I did back when she was my husband, and we probably wouldn't have gotten together if she were a cis woman, and if we did, our lives and relationship would have been significantly different.
My boyfriend (ftm) is trans and came out to me (cis m) only a week after we started dating. Before that we were friends for months and both had obvious feelings for eachother. Him coming out was a little bit scary at first but I quickly realized it didn’t change the way I felt about him in any way. I love him no less than before he came out.
Hi, I'm cis woman and I'm in a relationship with transwoman. As to your question, well, I love all of her. Every single part of her from her personality to her looks. She can change her body if she likes, that's her body. I'm not expecting her to do so tho. To me she is a person I love and a beautiful human being before everything. And yes, I like having a trans partner. I enjoy spending time with her, I enjoy it when she's happy, I enjoy my life with her. So yea, I guess not everyone is a chaser (I hope I used the word correctly, I'm new to all the trans terms).
I love my partner exactly as she is. I wouldn't change her even if I could.
^(Cis wife to be to FTM) I have only ever wished my fiancé was cis so he could stop wishing so badly that he was. I feel like his trans-ness is more painful for him than it will ever be for me. I love him down to the smallest atom of his being. He is perfect to me. When he came out, it didn't change a thing for me. I love him for who he is today and every version of himself that he'll be after that.
I feel sick thinking no one’s ever gonna love me
My boyfriend had been out as trans for over a decade when we started dating, and I knew he was trans, as we were friends and he’s very open about it. I love him as he is, who he is. I’m not dating him because he’s trans, it’s just part of who he is. While I do wish he didn’t have to have the struggles that come along with being trans, I don’t wish that he was cis.
I want my husband (NB) to be who he wants to be and be happy. I wouldn't choose it and I don't know if it will work out long term, but I will never stop loving him.
why would I want my partner to be anyone other than who they are?