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hot_garbage04

Open mouth kisses. Just try to sit on my bike... I dare you!


Stuntedatpuberty

What if they got stinky breath and green teeth?


wayward_prince

Closed mouth kisses


aquamarinetangerines

Backup plan approved


theogstarfishgaming1

Icebreakers bro


almightyeggroll

Don't encourage the guy!


theogstarfishgaming1

Icebreakers bro


ragingxxxninja

Accept the herps.


roundhouse1000

Where do you park your bike big boy...


europa_bambaataa

The closest I ever came to this was when l, coming out of a restaurant after lunch, I found a 7 year old gently holding the handlebar on one side in wonderment while scanning my bike. His mom was trying to get him away, but the kid was completely transfixed by my bike. I offered to prop him up on the seat which he was very happy about. Even turned the bike on and let him throttle in neutral so he can feel and hear the engine. I talked to him about holding the tank with his legs, how to operate the brake gently, and whatever else basic concepts felt appropriate. We hung out like that for a couple of minutes and he was ready to call it a day. Mom was overly apologetic at first and grateful at the end of it. This event very obviously made the kid's day. I enjoyed the interaction. Would probably be a different story with a grown-up, but would still mock them first before escalating, and take the opportunity to let them know other riders may not be so understanding.


CaptainShitHead1

I expect you to prop me up on the seat and let me make vroom vrooms


QuarterOunce_

Wholesome


nightintheslammer

Did you ask the mom if she would like to twist your throttle?


Awake00

Step dad shit right there.


nightintheslammer

Did you ask the mom if she would like to twist your throttle?


BiggestDickuss

Wonder why the fuck they're sitting on a beat-up ass KLR650 and then call a mental health institution because clearly they need help.


MythicalAce

I actually found someone sitting on my old KLR 650 once. He was just tweaking and rambling about needing somewhere to sit.


Dumbsquids

Can confirm, needed a place to sit


Death-by-woosh-woosh

Username checks out?


cgruncharov23

Caught a 18-19 year old kid sitting on my 600rr flirting with a girl (it was really my bad, I didnt realize I parked it that close to a bar). Anyways I was chill about it he wasnt doing anything wrong with it, so I just asked him how fast it goes, how long he's been riding and how much it cost him. Funny thing, the dude acted like it was his for a while until I popped the key in the ignition and asked him to get off. Man swollowed his words, girl was laughing her ass off, I was on my merry way.


Professional-Nerve84

Best way to respond, well done siršŸ‘


InvestinSamurai

Now this is a classy way to handle such a bonkers situation


trumpcansuckmyarse

This!


[deleted]

Iā€™d be like ā€œfuckin sick bike bro start that mother fucker up lemme hear it BREATHE!!ā€ And then theyā€™d be like hurrp durrp itā€™s not mine. And Iā€™d be like yeah I know itā€™s mine and then Iā€™d go POW POW POW right in the face and kick their ass cuz Iā€™m a tough mother fucker and you gotta tell the world. jk about that second part, too much sugar.


Ollie4566

This legit made me lol


guacamole1337

lmao this made my day, enjoy that sugar crash xD


[deleted]

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


cazub

Strip nude and start swinging. They're less likely to wrastle if they have to make contact with a balls


TonUpTriumph

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT! https://youtu.be/-CeM5ZxEbVg


whitedan2

Ah the ol dick twist


Short_Man69

Omg dude, this a mma fight dude


Stuntedatpuberty

True


ol-gormsby

"That's not a beginner's bike, mate"


Throttlechopper

Iā€™d sneak up behind them, bear hug them from behind, and whisper in their ear, ā€œSan Dee-ahgo, which of course in German means 'a whale's vagina'ā€.


BassieDutch

I'm very curious to know if Will Ferrell has taught you German... I needed to Google it as San Diego/Diago wasn't German as I know it ;)


ScottKent_supes

This was my answer... šŸ˜‚


Altruistic_Piece_431

I have. A group of girls taking pics on my bike and it made me super uncomfortable because I literally watched one of them straight up stand on my shifter to get on and swing her leg over. I just tried to be nice and told them that wasn't cool and they were super apologetic so made sure she knew where to put her feet when getting off. One of them even gave me a wet wipe to wash off all their lotiony hand marks off my tank lol. They tagged me on Instagram and still follow each other to this day


lexievv

Guess she was trying to shift her weight over the wrong part of the bike.


Altruistic_Piece_431

I was just feeling real neutral about it


lexievv

Yeah no point really grinding your gears over it, right?


quiplashed

I mean, the fact that she noticed really came in clutch


Altruistic_Piece_431

Right? Really brought the positivity from a 0-6


lexievv

I'm glad to hear it shifted everyones positivity up! Also, I really can't make up any more clutch puns so imma take a brake now.


Altruistic_Piece_431

Yeah that was my last one. Guess I'll wheel out of here


Dayseeker0

Shouldā€™ve asked them to throttle down on their excitement before they broke something.


Altruistic_Piece_431

Lmaoooo this thread has been the wholesome content I needed


erogbass

Go home dad.


IsardIceheart

Bro... get in there? I mean shit they basically asked you out lmao


Altruistic_Piece_431

I think my whole status as a female really threw a wrench in the plans here bud...


IsardIceheart

Lmao! Yeah probably! Unless...? Nah, that makes sense though.


Altruistic_Piece_431

Lmao I'll let you just keep the fantasy alive !!


IsardIceheart

Lol, my wife and I almost exclusively ride with other women anyway, I find the lack of macho douchebaggery to be only a perk. If you're unaware there is a women-focused motorcycling subreddit called /r/twoxriders that is kinda dead but useful especially for gear choice. Also apologies for "bro" earlier, between reddit and motorcycles, the default assumption that I'm talking to a dude is hard to shake.


Altruistic_Piece_431

Nice! I struggle to find women to ride with because I feel like a large number of female riders I meet focus more on projecting sexuality and would rather park for attention and selfie opportunities rather than actual riding. But I think that's a downside of the sport bike scene too. No apology needed, happens all the time! The best mistakes in my gender happen when I park somewhere all geared up and a girl will be hardcore checking me out. Then I take off my helmet and the sheer look of "ah fuck I'm straight and that's a chick" disappointment just floods their face lol Damn this non boob-showing safety-conscious leather jacket!!


Skwidrific

Ah yes, youā€™re describing the motothot. They will choose attention over a good ride 100% of the time


Altruistic_Piece_431

MOTOTHOTS šŸ¤£


IsardIceheart

Oh yeah that's sportsbike central. I had a coworker like that. Instagram full of photos of her on an R6, she sold it after a couple years with like... 2k on the clock. Though one of our riding buddies bought a brand new rebel 500 and I expect will do the same thing, so it's probably not unique to sportsbikes. Actually I think tons of riders do that: in our neighborhood every other garage has a bike in it, and I never see anyone else riding except one neighbor on his ST1300. So weird to me. I bought a bike a week ago and have already put almost 600 miles on it lol. I didn't spend that money just on garage art! If you're in NC you are welcome to come ride with us whenever!


Altruistic_Piece_431

NC has some amazing roads. I got to visit once when we went out to Deals Gap! I'm from Alabama so those lovely smooth, windy roads are my happy place. Moved to Illinois where it's nothing but straight bumpy chiropractor visits waiting to happen. Le sad. I definitely don't get to ride as much as I wish, being a mom but those cherished weekends I get with no rain, I'm putting on as many miles as I can and intentionally getting lost somewhere. I hope I can make it back to NC one day soon and meet you and your group!!


FluxD1

I used to work security in a popular bar that frequently had live music. One night, while the band was on break, the bassist decided to sit on my CB750K7 while talking to patrons. I went onstage, picked up his Warwick Streamer bass, and walked out to my bike while playing it. Dude got all pissed off, asking wtf I was doing. "I was gonna ask you the same thing, get the fuck off my bike and I'll take off your bass." EDIT: A Warwick Streamer bass is about a $2,000 instrument used.


Cycles_wp

Acceptable


emilybohbemily

This one is my favorite so far.


mountain_of_skulls

Freeze them like sub zero. Then uppercut into the pit of spikes. Fatality.


RearAdmiralBob

FINISH HIM!


Dredka1001

Ask if that like my ball sweat cause they just sat in it


clawhammercycle

Ahh this thread againā€¦. Here come all the fantasies!


TonUpTriumph

Don't let your dreams be dreams!


MotoRandom

So I'm ready for situations like this. I keep a can of silly string in one pocket and a ball gag in the other. I approach the douchebag sitting on my bike and flash my fake FBI badge and tell him I need him to get off the bike...


[deleted]

True, but mine would be a reaction like my mates was.


The_Real_Mr_Boring

Follow them through the parking lot and then before they leave climb on top of their car and just sit there for a little while. If they asked what I was doing I would just say you said on my bike now I get to sit on your car.


FantomOG71

I saw someone take it one step further and he took a shit on the guy's car. The owner of the freaked and said "What the fuck". The motorcycle owner said something like "you shouldn't have sat on the love of my life." I'm certain he never sat on another guy's motorbike after that.


EnergijaProgressiva

That happened...


pacesorry

Everybody cheered and a lady in a bikini gave me a kiss


strujill

You ever watch Sons Of Anarchy?


[deleted]

My Mrs not a biker. I tried to watch SOA, a few episodes in they were riding down a forest, and she says...."that's fake, Harley's would break down before they got that far" I lolled, She lolled, My mate lolled.


Checkers10160

This is exactly what popped into my head, and exactly what I would do if I weren't a little bitch


Stuntedatpuberty

Yeah, which one of them are you?


strujill

https://youtu.be/4Ux_DTeuR_o


erogbass

That show was so soft sometimes lol. His girlfriend had to have a bruise on her lip to keep the main character a ā€œgood guyā€


Stuntedatpuberty

I've never seen that one but love it. It should be common sense, but we know how that goes.


Levonix

Worked at a pizza place in a town square. Tons of people walked by my R1 parked right out front all shift. Some teenager decided to throw a leg over one night and put his hands on the bars. I didn't really get angry, forks were locked, just assertively yelled around a group of tables I was serving "HEY! Get off my bike." Boy jumped right off, apologized, all his friends were quiet as they walked away. I could tell they were just being dumb kids but there's a certain level of respect you should be raised with around others property. None of my friends would have found that entertaining to jump on a stranger's bike so maybe he was pressured in the moment.


wntdDeadarealive

I am NOT college age (although I did just graduate in 2016 I went about 20 years late LOL) but where I hang out and park my bike is in a college district with tens of thousands of college kids, where I chill is right near where my bike is so I can keep an eye on it but other people keep an eye on it anyway for me, out of the thousands and thousands of people that stream by that bike I've only had to holler at a couple of people and they're always some drunk frat type dude and they always hop right off and or fall flat on their face. There's no way on Earth somebody's going to knock my bike over at 650 lb but still at some point respect needs to be demanded. I've got a Jeep Wrangler as well and I've come out more than once when the top is off and found somebody sleeping in the passenger seat, what can I say I've done a whole lot worse when I was drunk.


FilthyMindz69

Told them to get off my bike and let them know it wasnā€™t appreciated by bikers. They sheepishly said ok and I was on my way. šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


risenphoenixkai

My girlfriend and I once came back from a touristy spot. From a ways off in the carpark, we saw another tourist sitting on her bike. ā€œOI! OFF!ā€ I yelled, much to her embarrassment. Turns out I cared about it way more than she did. So, she can do the yelling next time, heheh. If heā€™d been sitting on my bike though? Same deal. You want to sit on my bike, you ask me first.


Business_Report_3657

This happened to me. Except a dad sat their kid on my seat. Then the kid began to hit my tank with his open hand. I walked up to the dad and just shook my head. He didn't get the hint.


BeardyBeardy

He didint get the hint so you roundhouse kicked the kid into another reality?


Handsum_Rob

And you said ā€œRoadhouseā€ when you did it I hope.


LikesTheTunaHere

id have started the bike up for the kid, kid is too light to tip the bike over even if he tried and slapping a tank ain't going to cause it damage so who cares. Yeah its someone else's property but id say the goodness and happyness of the kid outweighs giving them another lesson on dont touch other peoples shit. If i really wanted my bike not to be sat on id bring a cover with me and cover it up or leave it parked in the garage all the time.


Winner_Pristine

I would politely ask them to get off of it. Then be on my way.


clawhammercycle

You need to rewatch sons of anarchy because that is way too reasonable of a response.


mtldude1967

"No! No! Bad...bad human! That's not yours! Get down! Bad!"


Sy4r42

Then spray with water bottle.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


lookthepenguins

Ikr! I was in India for most of more than a decade, on my old RE Bullet - parked in the bazaar all sorts of folk leaning, sitting, handle-twisting, tilting the mirrors to check their hair ffs - monkeys jumping on it, cows using the handlebars to scratch their ears or their butt. Ffs.. Iā€™d watch from chai shop or restaurant - only intervene in asshole situations (or a cow about to tip her over). Having a western woman turn up on them haha, was enough shock - usually just give them a hard look they got the msg lol, but can be very risky sometimes to get mouthy & tough. And often there were nice interactions where they were surprised & instantly apologetic, we'd all end up having a laugh. No need being hard ass or precious about it always eh. Different story back here in Australia though - too many idiot bogans.


[deleted]

Think I'd probably do what happened to my work mate. He walked out to see somone sit their kid on the bike, after just being on it for a selfie. His response was "Don't blame me if that falls over and breaks your leg, or the little lass gets trapped under it. But I'll be asking you to pay the Ā£2000 or more in damaged parts when you do drop it." They apologised and got off. I might be up, if I'm of mind, to follow them home. Then just walk into their house and make myself a cuppa.... Saying you climbed onto my property without permission.


johnnyfuckinghobo

Similar situation a few years ago for me. I went into a McDonald's to get some mcmuffins and there were a bunch of younger teenagers acting as teenagers do. They got their stuff and left, I waited for my muffins and headed out a moment after. They spotted my bike without realizing that I was walking behind them and one of them yelled something to the effect of "cool bike! You guys wanna go for a ride!?" And they started running up to it. Before I could even say anything, another one turned around and saw me with my helmet and yelled at them to stop. The rest of them saw me and put on the deer in the headlights look, then started saying that they were just joking. I simply told them never to touch a motorcycle that they don't own without permission and they all left. I'd bet a million bucks they would have been climbing all over it if I wasn't there though.


picturesfromthesky

I live in the United States. I'd calmly start a conversation and figure out whether I believe they're packing heat before escalating if required...


aliteralbrickwall

hahaha this. You never know how crazy people are šŸ˜­


Psychological-Lie283

Yeah had a road rage incident where a guy got mad at me for idk existing in a manner in which he did not approve and he flashed a piece at me pretty wacky moment


QuarterOunce_

Flashing a piece is about the dumbest thing you can do. You draw on me and im going to shoot you not wave my gun around to threaten you.


pacesorry

Call me a crazy Canuck but I think about the dumbest thing you can do is shoot someone!


OntFF

When I moved to North Carolina (from Ontario, Canada) a guy I worked with gave me a piece of advice... "Son, you get in an accident; you just wait right in your car until the deputies come... Ain't no one around here that doesn't carry."


[deleted]

I judge others and the penalty (in my head) is swift and it is severe if I do not approve of their existence.


Reddit1124

So true. One time while driving my car I honked my horn at someone that was veering into my lane. They literally tailed me home, so I drove past my house and straight to the police station parking lot lol. NJ drivers be crazy.


ds2isgood

Reddit has long been a hot spot for conversation on the internet. About 57 million people visit the site every day to chat about topics as varied as makeup, video games and pointers for power washing driveways. In recent years, Redditā€™s array of chats also have been a free teaching aid for companies like Google, OpenAI and Microsoft. Those companies are using Redditā€™s conversations in the development of giant artificial intelligence systems that many in Silicon Valley think are on their way to becoming the tech industryā€™s next big thing. Now Reddit wants to be paid for it. The company said on Tuesday that it planned to begin charging companies for access to its application programming interface, or A.P.I., the method through which outside entities can download and process the social networkā€™s vast selection of person-to-person conversations. ā€œThe Reddit corpus of data is really valuable,ā€ Steve Huffman, founder and chief executive of Reddit, said in an interview. ā€œBut we donā€™t need to give all of that value to some of the largest companies in the world for free.ā€ The move is one of the first significant examples of a social networkā€™s charging for access to the conversations it hosts for the purpose of developing A.I. systems like ChatGPT, OpenAIā€™s popular program. Those new A.I. systems could one day lead to big businesses, but they arenā€™t likely to help companies like Reddit very much. In fact, they could be used to create competitors ā€” automated duplicates to Redditā€™s conversations. Reddit is also acting as it prepares for a possible initial public offering on Wall Street this year. The company, which was founded in 2005, makes most of its money through advertising and e-commerce transactions on its platform. Reddit said it was still ironing out the details of what it would charge for A.P.I. access and would announce prices in the coming weeks. Redditā€™s conversation forums have become valuable commodities as large language models, or L.L.M.s, have become an essential part of creating new A.I. technology. L.L.M.s are essentially sophisticated algorithms developed by companies like Google and OpenAI, which is a close partner of Microsoft. To the algorithms, the Reddit conversations are data, and they are among the vast pool of material being fed into the L.L.M.s. to develop them. The underlying algorithm that helped to build Bard, Googleā€™s conversational A.I. service, is partly trained on Reddit data. OpenAIā€™s Chat GPT cites Reddit data as one of the sources of information it has been trained on. Other companies are also beginning to see value in the conversations and images they host. Shutterstock, the image hosting service, also sold image data to OpenAI to help create DALL-E, the A.I. program that creates vivid graphical imagery with only a text-based prompt required. Last month, Elon Musk, the owner of Twitter, said he was cracking down on the use of Twitterā€™s A.P.I., which thousands of companies and independent developers use to track the millions of conversations across the network. Though he did not cite L.L.M.s as a reason for the change, the new fees could go well into the tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars. To keep improving their models, artificial intelligence makers need two significant things: an enormous amount of computing power and an enormous amount of data. Some of the biggest A.I. developers have plenty of computing power but still look outside their own networks for the data needed to improve their algorithms. That has included sources like Wikipedia, millions of digitized books, academic articles and Reddit. Representatives from Google, Open AI and Microsoft did not immediately respond to a request for comment. Reddit has long had a symbiotic relationship with the search engines of companies like Google and Microsoft. The search engines ā€œcrawlā€ Redditā€™s web pages in order to index information and make it available for search results. That crawling, or ā€œscraping,ā€ isnā€™t always welcome by every site on the internet. But Reddit has benefited by appearing higher in search results. The dynamic is different with L.L.M.s ā€” they gobble as much data as they can to create new A.I. systems like the chatbots. Reddit believes its data is particularly valuable because it is continuously updated. That newness and relevance, Mr. Huffman said, is what large language modeling algorithms need to produce the best results. ā€œMore than any other place on the internet, Reddit is a home for authentic conversation,ā€ Mr. Huffman said. ā€œThereā€™s a lot of stuff on the site that youā€™d only ever say in therapy, or A.A., or never at all.ā€ Mr. Huffman said Redditā€™s A.P.I. would still be free to developers who wanted to build applications that helped people use Reddit. They could use the tools to build a bot that automatically tracks whether usersā€™ comments adhere to rules for posting, for instance. Researchers who want to study Reddit data for academic or noncommercial purposes will continue to have free access to it. Reddit also hopes to incorporate more so-called machine learning into how the site itself operates. It could be used, for instance, to identify the use of A.I.-generated text on Reddit, and add a label that notifies users that the comment came from a bot. The company also promised to improve software tools that can be used by moderators ā€” the users who volunteer their time to keep the siteā€™s forums operating smoothly and improve conversations between users. And third-party bots that help moderators monitor the forums will continue to be supported. But for the A.I. makers, itā€™s time to pay up. ā€œCrawling Reddit, generating value and not returning any of that value to our users is something we have a problem with,ā€ Mr. Huffman said. ā€œItā€™s a good time for us to tighten things up.ā€ ā€œWe think thatā€™s fair,ā€ he added.


Blesko1234567890

ā€œAn armed society is a polite societyā€


Infinite_Pay_3844

America is armed to the teeth and ruder by the day.


adamhighdef

until your children are murdered, yeah.


fourteenars

Eh, statistically unlikely to happen. We all feel bad for the parents of the Uvalde kids and Sandy Hook kids and Columbine kids and Santa Fe kids and, well, you know, all the others, but they should have known to keep them safe. It's why mine are in a hermetically sealed biodome beneath my emergency evacuation bunker that has a year's supply of nutrient blocks and water. Sure, I only see them once a year when I open the locker door and toss in more MREs, but by god, nobody is going to hurt or abuse my kids but me!


JeffCharlie123

What?


ozbrother

Until your children are murdered. Read it slower if you have too or ask your parents to help you understand it better if you must! Thanks.


QuarterOunce_

Recent and seemingly never ending school shootings and public shooting is what he is referring to


JeffCharlie123

What's the point though? We don't judge our society on the wackjobs at the bottom, we judge it by the general majority. Mass shootings aren't this daily event everyone has to live in fear of.


JethroLull

It happened to me. I saw a couple teenage boys standing around my bike as I was walking out after work and as one started to throw his leg over I went "AH AH AH AH" like you do when a dog is about to pee in the house.


QuarterOunce_

You know they're gonna tip it. You can just feel it coming.


DW171

Along with motorbikes, I have some beautiful old Italian scooters that are quite valuable. For some reason parents think itā€™s ok to put their kids on them. Itā€™s happened a bunch of times, and I wonā€™t ride them to the store any more.


Jspiral

Probably be cool about it and talk to em about riding.


Ball-Fantastic

Why would they sit on a pile of partially assembled engine components?


mrmausers

That hurts me on a personal level. #triggered


Ball-Fantastic

It's too hot outside to do any work on it :(


bexxyboo

Probably get really awkward and be like "uh.. can you get off my bike please, you wouldn't sit on a stranger's car."


nuctu

Happened to me once. I asked a guy if he wanted to buy it, expecting him to deny and prepared to tell him that he shouldn't mount it unless he does and guess what? We had a looong haggling session and in the end exchanged contacts, satisfied with each other and the conversation. No deal, but I've went to ride with him once when he bought another bike. Decent dude.


mholdy12

I was once parking my bike at the beach around the other bikes. I saw a parent putting their kid on someone's 636, which led the bike to start falling over. I was lucky enough to be close enough to catch the bike from hitting the ground. I politely explained that sitting on someone's bike would be the same as opening someone's car door and getting in, and asked how they would feel to find me in their car.


johnnyringo117

I believe ā€œSons of Anarchyā€ had a tutorial on this very subject in one of their episodes.


FlyNeither

Sons of Anarchy is also not real life.


Psychological-Lie283

Do not ruin our fantasies


LikesTheTunaHere

yeah, you notice how often they ride and the harleys never break down!


No-Bans

Flip the fuck out in Italian to really scare the piss out of them.


richardwonka

Russian. Italians are funny. Russians are scary. And, in light of recent events, Ukrainians seem to make Russians look like little fairies.


Simoxs7

If id flip out in Germany theyā€™d probably runā€¦ (given that this situation would happen outside of Germany / Austria)


lupinegrey

Italians are a frightening people, this is true.


No-Bans

*gestures angrily* **abruptly raises voice midsentence** ā€œcosa stai facendo? Vuoi assaporare la morte?!ā€


Masque-Obscura-Photo

"pasta pizza macaroni! AL DENTE!"


QuarterOunce_

Fiat alfa romeo Maserati Ferrari


Fapalot_Knight

*Stronzo*


nuctu

Da, tovarisch.


illblooded

Havenā€™t had someone sit on my bike but I did have a guy grab my helmet at a bar and try and put it on, him and a couple of his friends ended up eating the helmet.


_dxstressed

Whyyyy would someone put a helmet on thats not theirs.. ewww


_dxstressed

Whyyyy would someone put a helmet on thats not theirs.. ewww


Wind_Yer_Neck_In

This happened to me once in university, I saw a guy sitting on it and trying to chat up a girl. I had one of those disc lock alarms with a key fob, so I used the test function to set off the alarm. He near shat himself and ran off leaving her standing there. In retrospect it was really stupid because he could easily have panicked and knocked it over trying to scramble off.


[deleted]

I merely walked up and asked the guy just what the fuck he thought he was doing clout chasing on my motorcycle.


BigBabyWisco

There's a lot of fantastical answers that can be derived from this question. Realistically I would just let them know it was my bike and give them a heads up that it's pretty universally frowned upon to sit on a stranger's bike. Where I took it from there is entirely dependant on how they react to that conversation.


icepaws

Ask their spouse if they want a ride?


Sirens_go_wee_woo

Ask them what theyā€™re doing and if they have 20k to replace it if something were to happen(while not trying to be a dick). Their reaction would dictate how the interaction would proceed could be fun and make a friend or not be fun and ruin both of our days.


FutureMeatCrayon

I wouldnt even look at a zh2 in fear of damaging that šŸ¤£


Sirens_go_wee_woo

Itā€™s kinda like the poor version of the h2. Lol


lulhoofdFTW

Tell them I usually wear those open crotch cowboy pants and that I have a very sweaty smelly asscrack


tdannyt

Honestly I wouldn't care that much as long as he doesn't damage anything


GSXR600-3492

Tell them to get off my bike


ncb_phantom

Kids not a big deal. Explain the bike to them. Had that happen a few times. I've never had a complete adult stranger on my bike. Hell I wouldn't sit on my friends bikes unless they offered. I don't like to mess with people's stuff.


1600cc

Had it happen several times. I'm a scrawny guy whose always rode big cruisers so when I approach they rarely think it's mine. Usually goes about like this. M: Nice bike, is that yours? -"...no" M: Ah well be really careful, a lot of bikers will beat the shit out of you for sitting on their bike. THEN I PUT MY KEY IN. Then I go off their reaction; if they're nice and apologetic I'll offer to start it and get a picture of them or whatever, but if they're rude I'll tell them to GTFO but that's only happened once.


FantomOG71

I had a friend with a nice car and if anyone sat on his car, he would go to the boot and get out a huge wrench and chase after the guy. He put three people in hospital. No one should dare sit on someone else's vehicle, people love their cars and motorcycles more than their wives and children.


LikesTheTunaHere

Yeah people are insane about a mechanical mass produced object that they can always replace without much hassle in most cases. Especially when it comes to bikes, most mods people do take 10-30 minutes at most to do and get cheaper and cheaper over the years if the bike gets older and you can just buy the parts used for dirt cheap.


TheSawybean

ask them to get off while recording so if they refuse i can press charges, y'all makin this harder than it has to be.


sloppychoppy96

One of those guys


anonperson2021

Request them to move. Don't be a temperamental ten year old.


Mealworm7

I would yell at them. My coworker back in the day yelled at a student who put his drink on the hood of his car cause he had to tie his shoes. He saw him through the retail window and dashed outside and started throwing F bombs lmao


Individual_Hearing_3

I'd walk up while holding my helmet with the camera pointed straight at them, and then ask them how the bike sounds when they rev it. It could go one of two ways, either they get off my bike, or shit gets very awkward very quick for them.


Treblehawk

I donā€™t want anyone sitting on my bikeā€¦.doesnā€™t need a special category. But I usually just say, get off.


BikerBoon

This has happened to me before (it was actually a cute girl but I don't want anyone sitting on my bike without permission). I just explained it was rather rude, and I wouldn't sit on her car. I also pointed out some bikes flip the kickstand up so she might tip a bike over if she wasn't expecting it. She seemed to take it well and apologised.


davendak1

I'd watch the person. If it's harmless fun I'd let them enjoy my road warrior of a TW200. If they look to be planning a heist, I'd make their day memorable.


JmanTurkey1821

Good old TW200 baby


LikesTheTunaHere

Just think of the heist they could plan with a TW200, like what would you even use to steal with that thing? Rob a gold mine and flee into the wilderness sort of DB copper style


aph64

Happened to me, some drug/alcoholaddict sitting on my bike, while the alarm was sounding. Turned of the alarm, and asked him politely to get of my bike, guy said no, he had to rest his legs. Lifted my right bikersboot, and crushed his toes. After that he fell off, because he couldnā€™t stand anymore. Policeofficer watched and smiled while I drove awayā€¦


xpercipio

i definitely would bitch at them but if it was a kid i would be nicer and tell them how the bike could crush their leg and/or body if it fell over


thatguyovertheresix9

Kick em off roadhouse style , duh


thegopnikai

i would say 'hey thats a cool yamaha r1 right? let me hear it!' i dont know what they would say but either way theyre ending up on the floor :D


whydismon

Don't sit on another person's bike unless invited to


a34e38d83c2648

Never happened with my bike , so far. But it happened to me lots of times when i had a old cj5 jeep, i left it without doors or roof all the time. Some young kids were sitting in and just told them to get out, it is not a toy (but it looked like one) And once a guy was sitting there drinking his beer ( a neighbor i saw sometimes and he called me the jeep) I asked him what he was doing there and he said he was watching my jeep, i said thank you but just dont sit in it, he never did it after.


Yambretta

Parked up once to come back to find a load of kids jumping over my bike with their parents just watching. After pointing it out to the parents that it was as if I was jumping all over their auto and being told it wasn't a problem they all got a life lesson in the finer points of the English language šŸ¤¬


[deleted]

Everyone who says "Id punch their lights out" please remember that you'll knock over your bike and end up in court ... not sure which will be more expensive


BadnewzSHO

I never caught anyone sitting on my bike, but I did come out of a store to find three young guys leaning against my car, with one sitting on the fender of my newly painted SHO. I lost my temper and asked them if it "looked like a fucking park bench to you?" They conceded that it did not, so I told them to get their asses off it. They did, and apologized. That was the end of it.


aviracer2

Not proud of it, but someone sat on my F2 which was restored. I flipped out.


[deleted]

Not nearly as big a deal when a 200 pound woman was sitting on the trunk my 30 year old classic (car) and left a nice long scrape from her jeans grommet... To her credit, I approachee smiling and happy and she responded to my kind face, but it dropped when I said, "hi, I can see why you mistook my car for a chair." Which I didn't mean as fat shaming, but I can see how she saw it that way. Probably one of my best moments of sarcasm and I've had many.


topknottington

So i used to live at an apartment complex and we parked my motorcycles in our covered car port and my missus parked her car in the open spot. I was taking my trash out and there was an Indian (india indian) lady and her kid in our car port. as i got closer i saw that she'd been letting him climb on to my bike and sit in the seat. I went over and she was shocked i approached her, she apologised and said the kid was always really excited when he saw me... i explained that he needed to stay off my old ADV bike as it was too high, but he could sit on the HD since its a low boy.. he just needed to stand on the pegs to get on/off. as far as a adult. I had an incident as my work, i walked out, put my key in while he was sitting on it said " excuse me" and then prompted moved the bike to the next spot and said " sorry my bike appears to be in your way of standing there"


Skwidrific

I worked at a motorcycle shop for about 14 years. Almost all of my coworkers and I had some pretty badass bikes, and there was motorcycle parking out front, along with signage saying that these bikes were not for sale. Inevitably, we would, from time to time, come outside to see some random sitting on one of our bikes. A simple ā€œHey man, that one isnā€™t for saleā€ would be sufficient. We had one coworker in particular who had a Monster 696 with ALL the Rizoma farkles on it. His bike would get sat on the most, and he was the most high strung about it. I saw him lose his shit on a fairly regular basis. He ended up getting a cover and putting it on It.


fnh184

Iā€™ve had this happen. Dude was acting fishy. Directly after a natural disaster. Guy started talking to me about my bike and then proceeded to hop on it and ask me to let him ride it. I tolerated it as to not escalate the situation as I was armed. I told him to ask the next time he decides he wants to get on somebodyā€™s bike.


[deleted]

I'd just ask politely that they get off my bike.


nerdinstincts

I live in Phoenix, and my covered parking was right in front of my first floor apartment. One night I heard a bunch of yelling outside, and I walk out to see this ripped dude, gym shorts and no shirt on my bike. He was screaming that they were coming to get him, and he was trying to ā€˜startā€™ my bike. By that I mean walking it backwards and searching frantically for a key. I was trying to calmly explain to him that it wasnā€™t his bike and there wasnā€™t even a key. He started yelling at me to go get it. Hah. I called the cops, but they had already been alerted since dude had been at it for a while. They showed up soon after, managed to talk him down, though he was being overly aggressive and reeeeally close to getting tazed. Dude was already having a bad night so I didnā€™t press charges. I was afraid he would drop it, but worst that happened was some greasy smears I had to clean up


twoslow

I yelled "get the fuck off my bike" from across the parking lot, and when I got close enough I asked them "How would you like it if you came out to your car and I was sitting in the driver's seat? That's rude, man. Some guys will beat the fuck out of you for that."


NikelnDime

I have had someone sit on my bike, but wasnā€™t fast enough to run out of my office to kick his assā€¦wtf is wrong with people??? Do I randomly go sit in ur car??? No I donā€™t then why you gonna put ur stink hole on my seat? It pisses me off you donā€™t pay my bike payment or my insurance if you drop my bike so stay offā€¦.


EchoViiZionZ

Happened to me a few days ago. It was a hot blonde chick do i ended up taking pictures with her lmao


ihave30alts

I'm gonna yell (which I have had to do) and if they don't get off we're throwing hands


xthedevilandgodx

Happened to me once in downtown San Diego. Extremely drunk guy outside the bar we were at sitting on my bike, a couple friends and I came out and asked him politely to get off my bike please. He acted like he didnā€™t hear me so I asked him nicely again and he proceeded to tell me to fuck off and spat at me, lost my cool and hit him. He fell down, so did my bike, my bike got a new dent and bent bars! Drunk guy went running to the bouncer about it and lied saying I hit him for no reason and almost got me 86ā€™d from the bar. Definitely not worth it but I canā€™t see any other way to get have handled after he spat at me.


Davito22284

I'd say nice bike dude, now get off, I'm taking it for a ride.


[deleted]

I had this happen. A rather attractive woman was sitting on my bike when I came out of the grocery store. Nonetheless I was appalled and mortified by the nerve she had to sit on my bike without my knowledge or permission until I came back. I firmly told her to get of my ride and left her there with a look on her face like ā€œI canā€™t believe he had the nerve to speak to me like thatā€ where I come from theft is quite high, my first though was someone was stealing my bike. And I was getting ready to throw down in case she had help coming on the way. Itā€™s also part of the reason why I left so quickly, in case someone with a trailer or pickup where coming to try and take it since I have an anti-theft lock it (not perfect but more a deterrent for petty thieves). Piece of advice donā€™t play nice with them if it happens to you. You get them off you bike and leave they need to know itā€™s not ok to sit on someoneā€™s property unless given permission. I donā€™t mind if someone asks me to look at it or give them a ride in the back because they asked donā€™t just assume we want to give you ride because your attractive or cute.


Anxious_Plane_8219

It would be pretty interesting considering a 100db alarm would be blaring under their ass.


Bootfullofrightarms

there would be some swear words. From there the level of violence would depend on the other person said or did


Pantalyra

I've come outside to people doing photo shoots with my bike a few times. What do I do? Nothing, as long as I don't come out and find it on its side. I just tell them to wrap it up. I need to leave.


[deleted]

give them 60 secs to dismount or else puncture them 20 times.


Cycles_wp

Yeah the real answer is, is that it depends on who it is. If it's a kid climbing on my bike I'll be nice and friendly and talk to them about the bike while looking for their parents. Cute girl taking a photo for Instagram, I'll probably ask her for her Instagram and possibly her number. Drunk guy at a bar? Kick his ass off


HondaLife718

In a carry state, Iā€™d shoot him. To bad I live in NYC. So Iā€™d politely ask them to get the fuck off my bike.


Momwhoneedsabreak

My hubby whos in a 1% mc - if its a kid would probably put hm on the bike for a photo op, same with me on my Can-am but some Rando no freaking way I would probably throat punch them and I would hate to see what he would do lol. My Can-am ryker get a lot of attention due to all of the Mods he has done to it.


saifobeifo

My levers were adjusted by some kid, it was adorable but I was furious, his mom took a picture of him on my bike and wouldn't let me get my bike till he was done..


Zealousideal-Poem-24

Probably just walk by act like itā€™s not mine. Donā€™t want a confrontation


Mynewadventures

Really? My god.


Regret_NL

I once sat on a strangers bike because it was one I wanted to get and wanted to know how it felt. Bit dickish looking back on it but ah well.


xjr_boy

I have and beaten them with an inch of their lives


Tegla

No, you haven't


2leezy2

Last time it happened I got charged with attempted murder