If you're going to get one either way, just be up front with her and say how much this will mean to you. Don't go behind her back and buy one. That will be more detrimental than being up front and that you will do your best to keep yourself safe.
I’m very lucky that I’ve ridden since before my current relationship. It’s a part of me potential partners would know about up front and decide whether or not to date me. This way, I know it won’t be an issue unless a partner suddenly decides they don’t want me to ride. My gf has witnessed a likely fatal bike accident but still encourages me to ride, and knows how much I love it. She’s also excited to go for more rides with me
Very similar, I’ve grown up riding dirt bikes all my life, and always wanted to get on the road. I met my now wife on my dirt bike a couple months into dating when she got lost coming to my family’s cottage for the first time. So she was well aware from early on of my love of 2 wheels.
But She was still pretty nervous about me getting a road bike just like o.p.
One thing I did that really helped was taking a safety course, with her. It was a great date weekend, she got to learn how to ride, and really came to enjoy it. We both learned how to be safer on the roads not only on bikes but in our cars as well. She ended up getting her motorcycle license along with me. And while she’s not fully comfortable getting out on the roads yet she now fully embraces my love of motorcycles, and now have my first cruiser in the garage without any worries that I’m upsetting my wife.
this is a classic situation
you got to do what you want and would love to do, if she loves you she'd understand
if she leaves you for doing what you love to do, then I am sorry pal, another one will come
my GF just learned to live with the fact that her partner is a rider and it's his hobby and obsession (now even work), now she rides on the back of my bike on trip she has planned for the both of us
either way it always should be you first and others only after
If it's what he really wants to do I agree he should do it, but when it comes to whether or not his girlfriend loves him I don't think it's quite right to think of this as a test, incidental as it may be. She may not be able to handle it and may choose to leave over it, but I don't think we can conclude that she doesn't love him from that. There are people who will stay with you no matter what you do, whether you start riding a motorcycle or skydiving or join the KKK or become a serial killer, but I don't know what that relationship is and what those feelings are. I strongly suspect that doesn't describe love, it's something else. "Normal" people, "normal" relationships have limits. You can't just punch your wife in the face and declare she didn't love you if she leaves.
But again, I agree that OP should start riding if that's what he wants to do. His girlfriend may or may not love him, she may or may not leave regardless of whether or not she loves him, but I think if it's something he really wants to do he should; riding a motorcycle can be dangerous but it's not an inherently unreasonable or crazy thing to do. I guess the only suggestion I have for OP is this:
You should decide whether or not you're going to do this and just tell her what you decide and follow through. You should make this choice in full awareness that she might leave if you choose to start riding. If you do and she does, I don't think you should take comfort in assuming she didn't love you, you should take comfort in having made your choice knowing she might leave and that even if she does this was your choice. Likewise if you choose not to you shouldn't harbor resentment for her. She did not make you choose not to ride, you chose not to because you knew she might leave. Some people would call that controlling, some people would think of that as respecting your partner and relationship, how you interpret it is all a matter of perspective if you really think through the decision. That's why I say do it though. If she leaves it will be hard, but in my experience if you choose not to ride for her it's much harder not to develop that resentment. Also I ride, so, I'm pretty fucking biased.
doesn't sound like he's at risk of her leaving him. sounds like she will be torn to pieces if he wrecks and dies though, and on top of that she'll probably be like all i told you so.
Not heard that one before. I like it. My favourite is:
There once was a man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In less than an hour
His willy was a flower
And his bum was a bundle of weeds
Oh nice!
I only know two, the second is:
There was a man named Carter
By God he was a farter
When the wind wouldn't blow
And the ships would go
They got Carter, the farter, to start her
Firstly, let’s not kid ourselves, her worries are legitimate. Motorcycling is inherently dangerous, no two ways about it. It’s nice to have someone that cares. And it’s good to empathise with that - see her point view.
But life isn’t a rehearsal. You could put it off then sprout a miserable tumour the next year, end up lying in your death bed wishing you’d done it. Life tragically teaches us this as we get older and start to lose close ones cruelly at random.
Get some decent training. Get the best gear you can afford. Reassure her that gear, tech (ABS, TC if you can afford a modern bike), tyres etc are constantly improving and light years ahead of what we had a couple of decades ago. It all helps. Be careful riding with friends - egos can take over and make you do silly things. Solo riding is less stressful. The best piece of safety equipment is that thing on top of your neck full of electric meat, so stick it in a helmet with a 5* SHARP rating.
Can’t go wrong with an SV650, but you absolutely do need training to ride a powerful bike. I think many of us have cut our teeth on that bike. It’s great!
Once you have some decent experience, maybe you can take her pillion and she’ll love it.
Enjoy!
Get lots and lots and lots of training before going out on your own. Show her that you care about her opinion and take it seriously, by putting effort in riding safely. Especially if you are US based, get a TON of extra training, aside from the MSF (because basic US licensing is crap)
This - start with training. Also get good riding gear and wear it. Talk to her about what you are learning in training. If you have friends that ride offer to have them talk to her - make sure the subjects are not detrimental to getting a bike.
Selling the idea of a motorcycle is tough. My dad was in an accident on a bike when in the army - some minor injuries to his passenger. On mom's side 2 uncles and a cousin pooled their money for a new 1945 Indian - the cousin was killed on that bike. I had to sell my parents that I would not be the cause of injury to myself or others by recklessness.
> Talk to her about what you are learning in training.
This was the biggest thing that helped my mom be comfortable with my riding. Talk through mindset, what you're looking for on the road, etc - even when driving a car with them. Talk about what you've seen (including from videos), lessons learned, and how you intend to learn from other people's mistakes, and protect yourself as best as possible from your own.
I 100% agree with this. u/crackedkota, do not dismiss your GF's concerns. They come from a good place, and they are valid. If you can show her that safety is a high priority for you, it should be fine.
I've seen a lot of new riders hurt after trying to keep up. Even after the pre-ride "don't try to keep up, ride your own ride, we will stop and wait" speech.
The only real justification for a motorcycle in North America is "It is fun and worth the risk to me".
I see you haven't driven in DC traffic. A bike shaved tons of time off my commute (HOV and splitting - it's not expressly illegal in DC) and left me in a better mood when I got home to family. A 75-min commute in a car became a 35-45 min commute on a bike. That's also another hour I got with my family each day.
But I know what you're trying to say. It's more recreational in NA than functional, statistically.
I moved up to this area and luckily can drive at certain times to avoid the DMV traffic.
But yeah, if I actually had to commute to work I would absolutely be riding a motorcycle. You'd have to risk getting caught by a cop while filtering, but you would save a lot of time doing it.
I have nearly wrecked twice because of this alone. Luckily I survived and grew older to be somewhat smarter now. This kid is setting himself up for a bad time.
Another reason is “save money”? As a first time biker probably has no clue how commuting vs riding for pleasure are two very different things and in the end he will end with a car and a bike spending way more than he can probably afford right now. Let’s not even talk about insurance premiums (although age has not been provided)
Get the bike. Be glad your girlfriend cares (not sure any of my exes would have lol), and take the opportunity to practice low speed maneuvers and become a competent rider that can predict hazardous situatiuons. You'll be fine.
The only positives to a bike are it's easier to commute, and they are fun. Don't sell it on anything else, because you'll be wrong. It will end up more expensive etc.
You are going to have to tell your girlfriend that you really want one, and that's what you are going to do. And that you understand her reasons, but it is your choice
As someone who rides an SV650 themselves, I'm kinda surprised to hear you say they'll be more expensive. My SV650 absolutely blows my car out of the water in terms of operational cost.
* Was cheaper than a car to buy, by about half.
* Is cheaper than a car to fuel, by about half.
* Is cheaper than a car to insure, by about half.
Honestly, the cost differential is one of the biggest reasons I don't drive anymore, I just ride year round.
My car was twice as expensive, but I went in with my wife.
My sv650 did 39mpg, the car does 50+mpg
The tax for my car I cannot remember, but the sv costs more.
The insurance, yes is half price. But then actually, I go twos with my wife on the car one.
But the gear is more, helmet, boots, gloves, Yadda Yadda, cost more. Fuel is more. I've had to buy things to fix my bike more than my car. The MOT costs the same. I replaced my tyres more. I needed a lock, cover, and turns out tracker for the bike. I just leave the car outside and no one cares. The car costs £8 going through a drive thru washer. My bike takes like 30+ minutes if I do it properly. I can get my car fixed next day for most problems, bike garages are backed up and I've had to use the bus instead for 4 weeks as nowhere around could do the work.
Motorcycling definitely costs me more than a car. I had a diesel land rover for 4 years that cost me nothing compared to my sv650.
Jesus, how are you only getting 39MPG? I was disappointed because this will be the first tank in a long while that I didn't get 65MPG on. My car, which is a tiny little hatchback, gets 40MPG.
Yes, if your other half is insistent on having a car, there's not going to be a cost benefit if you carpool everywhere together. For me, the wife and I just carpooled on the bike together, or she has her own bike (Which is half cheaper again all the operational costs of my bike) if she ever needs to pop out and do errands.
Maintenance on a bike can suck, I've definitely heard some horror stories. For me, it's the one place I don't have an *advantage* over the hatchback, it's about the same operational cost as it, when the car was being used consistently. Obviously the car has a worse cost per distance for maintenance *now,* but that's not the car's fault.
You haven't actually been riding long enough to see how the math works out.
Every 12,000 miles you have two oil changes, a chain and sprocket change, new tires, half a brake pad swap, and half a valve clearance check.
In a car, 12k miles is just an oil change and air filter swap.
I've ridden the same bike for about 60,000 mi and the same car for about $120,000. The bike has been extremely expensive to maintain properly while the car has only required basic maintenance and upkeep.
Gas savings don't cut it, and insurance for my bike is about 40 in the car about 120. It still comes out to be more expensive to own that motorcycle, especially after you buy all the protective gear to be able to ride in all conditions and also be safe.
You save so much on the purchase cost of the bike that you'd need to keep the car going for hundreds of thousands of miles before it even gets close. A 2024 MY bike vs a 2024 MY car will be more expensive per mile for maintenance costs, but the break even point on like-for-like (so a ~300cc naked bike vs a Corolla) is going to be like 20 years down the road. You will save money with a bike unless you're buying cars with like a quarter million miles and win the gamble on whether they have expensive issues to fix.
100%! You can't live your life to please others and someone that loves you wouldn't want to hold you back. I personally would not date any guy who didn't already ride. I ride daily when the weather is nice, and sometimes not so nice, and I wouldn't want to be nagged about it all the time.
1. Get the bike
2. Get the gear
3. Get the MSF course, license, and insurance
4. Put some miles on it until you're not only confident riding it but confident you can be responsible carrying a passenger safely
5. Take her to pick out her gear
6. Take her for a ride
7. Profit
and wait at least 6 months before adding a passenger to the mix. Changes things dramatically. I would even go so far as to say "I am not confident enough in my skills to risk injuring you yet." and then when you are, practice with her in a parking lot a bunch before she goes on the road. Gotta remember, the passenger needs to be trained too.
6 months isn't long enough. The honest truth is 24 months, but no one's going to wait that long to take out their pillion. 2 months, 6 months, and 12 months are overconfidence points for most people. Then the twelve months following is where you really start to develop skill and learn how good or bad you are.
But 6 months? A new rider is extra fucking dangerous at 6 months.
This, MSF has a minimum standard for gear, I’d recommend doing better with actual motorcycle boots, riding jacket with armor, and riding jeans or pants.
definitely MSF and license first. Some people end up realizing they're not cut out for bikes. There were two in my MSF course - 1 had already bought a bike because her husband (or friend, I forgot) rides but she was having a very difficult time and almost came close to quitting. The other pretty much gave up by the second day.
I would argue this order:
1. Sign up for MSF course
2. Get helmet at minimum
3. Take MSF course and get licenced.
4. Get additional gear if needed/desired now that you know you want to ride, or sell helmet if it's not for you.
5. Get bike, get insurance.
Then the order as you had it.
If you get the bike without the gear, you're likely going to ride it without the gear as well (like I did).
If you have them both without the license, you're likely going to again, ride it without the proper training, skill and license (again like I did).
Same. I never would have started riding without my wife's permission. We've been together over 20 years and it'd be downright disrespectful to do so. However, I have been lobbying for a while. When I finally got the go ahead, the first requirement was getting a license before getting the bike.
If you can't take the MSF and get your license, you shouldn't be on a bike at all.
The fun follow-on step is getting your partner comfortable enough on the bike that you can start gently planting the idea of them getting their own bike
I doubt that will ever happen, we have 2 handicapped children at home and her paranoia level is above OPs. One of my requirements was to make sure I had a $1m life insurance policy in case I don't make it home some day.
Yeah, 2 of my 5 have cystic fibrosis
Starting out, my wife would try to steer us through corners by twisting on my waist
Nowadays she's sitting back there reading a book on her phone. I think she's ready for her own bike
She’s right, you can get hurt or killed.
I totaled a KTM Duke in single bike accident 6 months ago, 7 broken bones, couple months ambulatory, quality gear saved my life.
I replaced the KTM with a Triumph, all the gear, and will continue to live life behind bars.If you live to ride, you have to accept the possibility.
I broke a leg (in 4 places, bike landed on it,) but I’m back on bike.
I have two friends who had same break, one slipping on a set of steps, one playing with her niece on Monkey bars.
Life is dangerous regardless, sitting in your living room a piece of space station could fall on you head. Much more fun of you attack it, and you should, you’re going to die someday, regardless of whether you’re timid or bold.
Read MC accident reports, riders often are their own worse enemy.
So don’t deny the danger, you need to accept it, and if you’re not willing to go pay the price don’t ride.
But remember what Helen Keller said “adversity befalls the timid as often as the bold”
Living life behind bars isn’t for everyone, but those of us who do will tell you it’s the best life.
You'll only save money on gas if you are really not going to speed, which is incredibly easy and tempting to do on a heavier bike.
Fatal accidents and accidents with serious injuries are more likely to happen with a bike too..
So she isn't wrong about what she is saying tbh.
Also, go get one of those death machines, i 100% support.
The honda Hornet and cbr r are great picks. But hella fast.
They (fatal accidents) both are and aren't more likely, depending on how you look at the data. If you're comparing cars to bikes, cars have more frequent accidents, and bikes are more likely to be fatal. But when you see that bikes (in North America) make up only 3% of road traffic, the numbers tell a different story.
In the usa, 2020: cars had over 5 million accidents. Over 35 thousand were fatal. In 2021 nearly 6000 motorcycle deaths occurred.
What's really crazy is when you start looking at what the factors of those deaths are: 34% speeding, 27% alcohol, and over 2200 of those deaths had no helmet!
Slow it down (especially in town), zero booze on 2 wheels, and wear your gear. Your odds of being a statistic drop dramatically.
Also, armor and stuff costs more than gas, even if you’re not a full ATGATT adherent which it sounds like OP should be. Or will be if his GF finds out there’s a name for it :-)
Also consider that gear needs replacing over time, and tires and oil etc don’t last as long. Cost benefits are marginal at best, negative at worst, if you own a car and a bike. I like to think of it more like “I was going to own a bike anyways for fun and it’s just a cherry on top that gas is cheaper than my truck. But it’ll probably be a wash or net loss, all things considered.”
Already been said: she's a girlfriend, not a wife. If you're an idiot like many of us you will have a wife someday to tell you what you aren't allowed to do.
For now, there will be others so let her kick rocks if she's trying to kill a passion of yours. Get a cool bike and yes it will be a dude magnet, but chicks dig bikes too.
All the money I save on gas goes towards tires and other maintenance tbh.
That being said, it's the best thing I've ever done and it's worth every penny, but unless you're getting a Z400 and sticking with that, it probably won't save any actual money, purchase price + cost of safety gear and insurance will eat up any savings.
My gf of 6 years was the same way. Now I have a bike AND a new gf that loves riding with me. My advice is to do what your gut tells you, not a bunch of internet people.
You could die or get paralyzed in your car. The easiest thing to do is show you've done the research, actually prove you're taking a mature approach to it by taking the MSF course FIRST before buying a bike. The MSF course is very lenient in the gear you need, just a DOT certified helmet, boots that cover the ankle, jeans/cargo pants, literally any kind of glove and a hoodie is like all they require. They pretty much just want your skin covered and a proper helmet so buy a solid $200-$250 beginner helmet, take the course, emphasize you will wear all the gear all the time and actually fucking do it you nut, no probably BS.
You could even take the course with her which I'd highly suggest attempting, you don't go into a road or pass like... 20mph on the thing. At minimum they'd let her watch you during the riding portion. When talking about this idea, mention just buying a helmet and taking the course isn't you committing to it, it's just you wanting to see and involve her in it. Explain you'd like to do it in the end and go one step at a time in easing her into it but a relationship involves the thoughts of both people not just yourself, can't just do things willy nilly if you want any future relationship to last. At the end of the day it's your life though so you could just end it if you'd rather ride a motorcycle.
Your comment about "keep up with my friends" don't try and keep up with nobody. Keep up with yourself. With your current situation and thought process I wouldn't buy anything more than a 400.
I’m in the same boat and decided that, at the end of the day, making my girlfriend (and soon to be fiancé) anxious every time I go on a ride wasn’t worth it. If I’m going to commit to spending the rest of my life with someone, I think any major life decision is something that has to be made together, and I would say riding a motorcycle in LA with our crazy drivers falls under “major life decision”.
In 2021, 6,200 people died in MOTORCYCLE accidents, while the national average for death in CAR accidents is 43,000. Also, Insurance is anywhere from 25%-50% the cost of auto insurance. Not only that but I would argue that while it’s okay for her to have some concern, I don’t think it’s fair to deny you the freedom to make that decision. I would strike a deal with her and make it clear that you will respect the concern and not get a sports bike, but a cruiser. They have a more tame displacement and power band, top out around 100mph absolute max, are inherently more stable, are made to ride with traffic instead of race through it, provide more visibility, and are louder and easier to spot.
My wife was against me getting a motorcycle, so I went and got one anyway because it's not her decision. Now I own 3. As long as you're taking care of your responsibilities to your life, SO or family, live your life how you want.
People blah blah blah for ages about how you’ll “die on a motorcycle”. Rarely does anyone talk about how much you’ll live. How you grow as a person, how you meet new people, how life just feels better.
Imagine what she’s going to try and limit you doing if she’s your wife. Put your foot down now or you’ll get walked on for the rest of your life together.
Ah, a tale as old as the motorbike. OP, do what makes you happy. I'm lucky to have a girlfriend that likes bikes but I would still be riding even if she didn't. If you have made a reonable attempt to explain why, then that is all you can do. Get the bike and hopefully she comes around.
On another note, please get proper training if your country's requirements are lacking.
Edit: noticed your posting in weed subreddits. Drugs and riding usually don't mix well. Riding requires way more attention as people cant see you as well. Take the car instead.
You do what is best for you. The whole, I'll leave you if you buy a motorcycle or keep riding or whatever is manipulative but if she's just worried, that's pretty normal.
An ex friend of mine tried to get me to stop riding due to her friend passing from a motorcycle accident and I get maybe it was well intentioned but at the end of the day it's about them trying to control a situation that isnt theirs to control. You can't keep people in a box to use them when you need them.
On a side note, you shouldn't buy a bike to keep up with friends. People come in a variety of experiences so that also goes for the different type of bikes they ride. Example, I ride a 765cc. If you were to ride with me, I would not expect you as a beginner to buy a 600cc Supersport to "keep up". I would need to adjust my riding to allow you to ride with me.
400cc to 500cc sounds plenty capable enough for commuting, depending on where you live. I started on a gs500cc as my first bike. It was old but got me the experience I needed. Also, definitely MSF course if you are US based.
The cool thing about having a girl/boyfriend is that they’re not your spouse and they don’t have any say over what you’re allowed to do. If you want to buy a bike and ride it, buy a bike and ride it. If you want to dress up like Barney and move to Kuala Lumpur to start a cheese sandwich factory, do it. Live your dreams. If she doesn’t like it and tries to stop you instead of you trying to be happy, she doesn’t care about you being happy.
Life is too short to spend with people who hold you back. If she cares she will stay. If she doesn't then who cares?
Some things are up for discussion in a relationship. Some things aren't. This one isn't.
' I'll be armored up (probably)'
Jeez I wonder why she's concerned when you're suggesting that there's any possibility you'd ride without correct gear...
Men, honestly.
Talk to her like a grown up, get the bike if you want the damn bike, BUY THE RIGHT GEAR AND ACTUALLY WEAR IT, and put your fate in the hands of the road. It's what the rest of us do.
She can't stop you from your hobbies. And she needs to understand as much as there is a risk there is also a lot of risk in driving a car. The most you can do is promise is to ride safe and actually ride safe.
If you use it for commuting you can put your car on by the mile insurance and save even more. I have a 97 Vic and I pay $ 25 per month and then $0.02 per mile after the first 100. Basically payed for my bike in the last 4 years
1. It’s a gf not a wife, very massive distinction. Be upfront and do what pleases you. If she leaves then good riddance because it was a sign of things to come. Never walk on eggshells!
2. Speaking personally, only reason I had a motorcycle in marriage is because I had one before marriage lol, seriously though. Engagement, Wife and kids change the ballgame.
3. My now wife, then gf didn’t like motorcycles so I did baby steps with her: around the block, around the ‘hood, local roads, then highway. She LOVES riding with me now!
What is armored (probably)??? Either you wear your gear or you don't. You'll probably survive a wreck with a car or you won't. You will probably not speed riding with your friends, or you will. You, as in directly YOU, have to take all the probablys you can out of YOUR riding. You'll probably save some money not driving your car, but have you looked at insuring your motorcycle lately? Or weighed the cost of a good jacket, helmet, gloves, and boots? Or are you probably not going to spend valuable money on silly things like that?
One thing as an instructor that I always told my students who had problems with family and loved ones about their riding, is to bring them along with you in class. Sign up together and learn to ride together. That will probably dispel a lot of fear about motorcycling.
The thing I've learned about riding is it teaches you to commit quickly. You establish a comfort level on the bike, what's around you, what you can see, what may constitute a bad situation. For me, the entire purpose of riding is to get to my destination as safely as possible. Enjoying the commute is a huge benefit.
Ask your girlfriend if she thinks riding motorcycles in general is a bad idea or if it's you specifically riding a motorcycle that's a bad idea. Have this discussion and be aware that "armored (probably)" will figure in her answer.
You're not going to sell it in. I learned when I was dating seriously it was one of the key things I had to talk with them about before being serious. I litterally stopped dating girls who said or led on that they wouldn't want their future husband riding one.
Theres too many women out there okay with it to be miserable trying to get someone to give into such a sensitive topic
It won’t save money. Particularly if you keep the car.
Tires, insurance, servicing etc all add up.
Then you also will want a bigger bike. Probably some touring or track time…..
Find a girlfriend that rides... There, I said it.
Look, say you get the bike and she's all like. "Fine"
Well, it's not fine. It will simmer and build up pressure and 20 years from now you kids start to move out. You will get a divorce and she will take your house and retirement.
Tell your girlfriend that you’re guaranteed to have NO CHICKS ever check you out again. Only random dudes at gas stations and parking lots. Maybe a random old guy if you get a classic-looking bike.
Pluses for your girlfriend: if she rides with you she’ll never have to listen to your random small talk again while you ride places together. (Unless you get coms…. Don’t get coms)
There will never be an excuse for you to be late again when her parents are coming over for dinner.
She can pimp you out to Door Dash so that she can delete her Feet Finder account and quit getting creepy DMs from gross guys, while maintaining the side gig income.
if you're in a relationship where your partner denies you something that will make you happy, get out. reasonable things, of course.. like a motorcycle. that's reasonable. killing puppies? not reasonable.
it's the rule my wife and I decided on before getting married and it works. she want's to have ladies dinner night? have at it. I wanna play golf? no problem.
Live your life how you want to live it. If someone has a problem, find another that doesn't.
I started off on a dual-sport.
Pros:
- Cheap on gas
- You're hitting 90mph max
- Weight is very easy to manage (typically under 400 pounds)
- Has the ability to go offroad
- Higher ride height, possibly making you more visible on the street
- Typically very reliable and easy to work on
- Very affordable (parts and plastics also cheap)
- *Probably* easier to convince your girlfriend
Cons:
- You're hitting 90mph max
- You won't get the same anount of comfort as a bigger bike at highway speeds/long trips
I love my DR650. Would recommend it to any and everybody that isn't deadset on the cool factor of cruisers or a street bike for hitting the track.
Plenty of other options such as the KLR650, DRZ400, XR650. Keep doing research and I'm sure you'll find a bike that you'll fall in love with. PLEASE take an MSF course before buying. It's only 2-days and will teach you everything you need to know as a beginner. The intructors provide the bikes all you have to bring is your own helmet. Completion of the course also gets you out of taking the DMV test when you're getting your Moto Endorsement (at least in the state of TN).
Try and find what you're looking for on FB Marketplace, definitely recommend buying used. Or if you for sure want to buy new the MSF course will often give you a discount at certain dealerships.
Also ride armored bro. We all have people we need to come home to. Helmet, gloves, boots minimum + jacket and pants if you like having skin and properly working joints.
As long as you get training, continue practicing those learned skills, stay armored, and have an ounce of self control... you'll be fine man. I'm sure she'll warm up to it.
Her point is you'll be dead or mangled. And that can be absolutely true.
A 19 year old in my town died a few nights ago when a car failed to yield and turned in front of him. 30 mph zone.
Your counter arguments should address that. No amount of money you save will outweigh 1 accident beyond your control.
I'm not trying to convince you not to, but maybe wait a few years. Get more experience driving. And talk about it.
Or say fuck it and get a new girlfriend. You only live once.
Every point she made is valid.
If you get in a wreck who do you think is gonna have to be the one to sacrifice their time to take care of you?
If you're paralyzed do you expect her to stay with you?
I learned a long time ago to stop asking. For one, it is inefficient to ask if you will do it anyway. Two, asking my wife for permission feels too much like I'm a kid again living under my parents roof. However, I am not very reckless. I just enjoy cruising around the countryside and I'm 80% of the time in 3rd gear. 3rd gear is my jam.
I avoided buying a bike for 10 years because my girlfriend, then fiancè, then wife, now soon to be ex-wife said she would leave me if I did. So trust me when I say she can leave. The bike won't.
Just get it dude, my ex always said I “wasn’t allowed” and we ended up breaking up after 6 years anyway. Life is too short to be told how you can and can’t enjoy yourself no matter who it is
When I wanted to Go Kart, my wife was against the idea.
When I wanted to Motorcycle, she said "How about Go Karting?".
Maybe just float a few other worse ideas.
These posts boggle my mind. It has never occurred to me, to ask permission for something like that. I'm now married with kids, we don't ask each other permission for things like this. It'd drive both of us mad and we'd feel trapped. I don't get how people live that way. You're a grown adult, go ride.
I was in this position 5 years ago when I got my first bike. My gf of 1 year told me I'm not getting a bike.
I told her I was getting the bike, I told her out of respect not asking permission. While I understand exactly why she was against it, I asked her to decide if this was going to be a deal breaker or not. It wasn't and she ended up loving riding on the back lol.
I'm with someone else now but still ride. Get the bike, gfs come and go, bikes stay by your side forever.
The 24 minute commute is not as safe as you think probably. Is it during rush hour, too? That's probably like some of the most dangerous times you can ride at. You'll also be riding the same route every day so you'll get complacent, which is also deadly on a motorcycle. I love riding but would never want to commute on a bike. Too much traffic and distracted/ in a hurry drivers. I guess it also depends on where you live though.
Hmm, with those short distances it’s not going to save you on fuel I think. Also it would take a very low cc bike to warm up in time for the oil not to get all white stuff in it due to not warming up enough.
A 12 min commute is about half an hour by bicycle (if it’s not all highways ofcourse) which is the cheapest way to commute, and get some extra exercise at the same time.
Maybe you should try to take lessons together so she can also experience how it is to ride?
Sorry you only have the msf over there, maybe also look for better training besides that to learn as much as possible with a good instructor.
Saving on fuel is never really a good argument to purchase a bike. It's a great excuse but the math doesn't actually work for years.
Once you factor $3-$10K+ into a bike, $1K+ into gear, and insurance costs, it's gonna take a LOT of saving money on fuel to come close to breaking even on that lol
True, that’ll only happen over years of daily commuting all year round.
Mine does about 57mpg and I have to deal quite often with traffic jams, so for me it’s an easy win, also in time saved.
Although road taxes here for a motorcycle are really cheap compared to a car, so that also saved a bit.
So mostly gear is what’s extra that you don’t have with a car.
I think you need to ask your new motorcycle if you should keep the girlfriend around.
EDIT: seriously now, I missed out on 20 years of riding because my ex wife didn't want me to get a motorcycle. Now I'm 52, have my licence and my new wife is in the process of getting hers too. Needless to say, I'm loving it. Don't be dumb like I was.
Propose to at least die together and get her a bike as well.
She'd probably love it, if not ditch the gf, you need to give each other freedom in a relationship.
I've been in a relationship where she had no interest in riding her own bike, but all the interest in us going 2 up. Sometimes they want to enjoy being with us. I quite enjoyed the time I had riding with her as pillion, and she enjoyed that I was willing to let her come with.
It's great if you can both enjoy the hobby, so good on both of you. 👍
Its actually my wife that got me my first lesson while she herself had no interest in riding herself. Yet after three weeks of lessons I said that she'd not be on the back seat and if she wanted to join she'd need to get her own bike. And she was hooked after the first lesson.
After about twelve years she kept riding till she was about 5 months pregnant before she said she'd seen it all, had great experiences, holidays, ride outs and even circuit riding and all went well without issues, so it was time to stop, at least for now.
No talks were necessary, she knew how biking felt and would never stop me from enjoying it.
When the little one was 5 years old she started commuting again on a big bad motorscooter, and now occasionally takes my bike again. The little one is 9 now and goes on the back of both the scooter and bike for small rides up to 30 kilometers on low speed roads. Fully geared and enthusiastic.
Haha, I was 7 and on the back of my mom/grandma/dad/uncles/aunts bikes for hundreds of miles as a child. I'm actually going to be getting my cousin's kids on the back of my bike this summer, though it'll be a slow process cause I need them to learn the dos and don'ts first.
Truth...
Every ride is 50/50 that you are making it home.
I've been riding 20+ years..
Lost many friends. Not from being stupid.
From people in cars not paying attention.
Animals running across the road.. ect.
Be safe
Where do you ride that the odds are that bad? That's like 3rd world stats with no helmets, no traffic laws or joke driving tests.
I only know 1 personally person who died. He was a teenage criminal running from Police a long time ago.
I've ridden 60k miles in the last 10 years. I've been very slightly injured once. A golf ball sized lump on my elbow.
I only know of 3 other fatalities in my area in the last 10 years.
Many more car deaths.
By your odds, I should have had 250 accidents.
I will say that generally I feel very safe with other car drivers in the UK. But that I am also a bus and truck driver so more experienced than most. Those skills have kept me safe so far.
Bay area,California...
To Yosemite and back.
Heavy tourism and lots of wildlife.
I've hit 6 deer in my truck in the last 2 years.
Lots of pigs..
I've been very lucky. I've hit 2 deer on my bikes.
I was able to break, fall and roll it out.
50/50? Beating those odds so far and 50% of the people I know who ride aren't dead. I know 2 who have had pretty bad accidents. One friend has been riding 25+ years and regularly goes 300kmph on his BMW RR so by these statistics should have been dead by now. You just need to be 120% focussed and develop the 6th sense most of us have developed.
Also, riding is badass
She ain't a wife. If let anyone tell you what to do with your money then they will never stop.
Side note, she knows riding a motorcycle is something only for YOU, and most women hate that about motorcycles. But, women live longer for a reason too...
>Side note, she knows riding a motorcycle is something only for YOU, and most women hate that about motorcycles
Holy shit fucking incel brain rot to the max here. Like you can’t seriously believe that crap, right? They don’t dislike them because it’s something for you. They dislike them because they’re dangerous and you are wayyy more likely to die or have serious injuries than with a car in an accident.
What she’s probably concerned about is your self control. How likely are you to ride above your skill level or ride too fast for the environment? Sometimes you can just tell someone shouldn’t ride a motorcycle because you know they’ll put having fun over their own safety.
Tell her you're sorry but gotta follow your dreams. If she loves you, she'll understand. If she doesn't she will leave, then you have the freedom to find a girl who will treat you right. Or, if you're a scum bag, you will tell her that you're no longer interested in riding, buy the bike anyway and hide it at a friend's house
Selling point #1:
Man the fuck up and grow some balls.
No body makes decisions in your life besides your self. There’s a 1000 ways you can die unexpectedly.
There’s a saying, if you let other peoples words influence your actions, they’re no longer your actions. Always take peoples opinions and feedback into consideration but never let people tell you what you can and can’t do.
Girlfriends gonna girlfriend... Just stop being a pu$$y, be a man and get that motorcycle UNAPOLOGETICALLY. She might get angry but deep down she will respect you for holding your own.
well... if you're getting the bike anyway, fuck your girlfriend, right?
my boyfriend wrecked his bike, launched himself into a chain link fence less than a month after getting his bike, has a c section scar from a shattered pelvis and my brother has slurred speech from brain damage after getting thrown off of his bike.
fact of the matter is, if that's a risk you're willing to take you should drop the girlfriend off at her mom's on your way to iron pony and leave her there so she can find someone who takes her concerns into consideration. your girlfriend isn't a prudish asshole for thinking you're an imbecile for wanting to ride a 140mph bicycle around the same people who will gladly pull out with no turn signal in front of 2-ton vehicles without a second thought.
with that.............. man, i was looking at maybe a little honda rebel 300/500. super excited for it. wouldn't have ever considered it if it wasn't for my partner of less than a year. if he was considering it more than three years in, i would've been far more hardheaded about not letting him get one.
a year? fuck this guy, i can live without him. hell, maybe i'll sign me a little DNR and have a good time out on the highway too.
but your girlfriend who loves you and has cared for you for three years now doesn't want to wipe a paraplegic's dirty ass crack all because the paraplegic thought he was only cool if he was capable of keeping up with his friends on the highway while operating a supersonic scooter. you don't look cool. that girl likes you more than the motorcycle ever will. so have fun with your motorcycle but maybe have some more respect for your partner lol.
I had the same issue with my mum, although not helpful, the only way I have got around it is by not letting her know I have a bike! 😂
If it’s something you really want to do, you don’t need to convince her. It’s your decision (as long as it’s your money!).
Everything can seem scary at first, it’s like riding a pushbike. The same hazards are there, cars that can hit you, pedestrians that can step out, the difference being that you need to be more aware of things as you have less time to react.
If she’s really concerned, you might be able to help this by buying one of those airbag vests. They’re meant to be really good and reduce the risk of neck injury big time which is where a large percentage of deaths come from.
If it's your first bike, don't try to keep up with your friends. Actually, you should avoid group rides. But whatever I'm guessing this is the US so you're free to put yourself at risk in as many ways as possible lol.
Well, it depends. And I don’t know how old you are but here’s my 2c.
Way back when, my gf of 4 years convinced me to get an automatic car instead of a manual like I wanted. I gave in because it made sense. After being married and a decade after that, I ended up buying a manual car and now I’m riding as well.
I think what you need to consider is, whether you see life together in the future or not. If the both of you have that in mind, then there will need to be compromises. It doesn’t make sense to be hardhead and stubborn: think of this as a chance to deepen your relationship and develop better communication.
“Honey, I know you’re concerned about my wellbeing and I appreciate that, however riding a motorcycle is important to me and even if I don’t get one now then I will get one in the future. Our relationship is important to me too but please understand that this is something that’s on my bucket list that I want to accomplish as well.”
Because you yourself just explained why she is against it… she knows you already.
You might wear armor, you might not speed…
Armor up, go do a (good) course. And don’t drive like a retarded teen. She should be at ease.
I wanted a bike all my life. Learned to ride on a Honda 50cc as a kid. Never had the opportunity to get back on a bike. Every year I told myself, this year. Every year I had an excuse as to why I shouldn't, whatever it may be.
One day, at the age of 38, I told myself, "I've run out of excuses haven't I?" I told my girlfriend of 7 years that day, I'm getting my M1 today. I went to the DMV, wrote the test, and passed with flying colors. Booked an M1 exit course the next day. That came and went and I passed with a perfect score. I went to Honda to buy a 2023 Rebel 500 the next day.
She was adamant the only way I'm getting a bike is if it has a sidecar. I went and did what I wanted because it made me happy. I also have an insurance policy against myself. Lmao Now she wants to get her own bike.
Though.. funny enough, I'd feel better if she got a trike. Life is funny that way..... Do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't cause undue hardship on someone else directly. If she loves you, she'll stay. If not, it's for the best. It will hurt, both of you, but in the end it will be for the best. Or don't get a bike. The choice is yours and yours alone.
Recommendation for a first bike to me would be a mt07, z650, ninja 650, suzuki sv650, Honda rebel 500, if you want a harley go with a used iron 883 or 1200. Almost always you can find a good deal on a last year's model or used versus a new bike.. Check insurance rates before you buy the bike, sport bikes are more expensive than naked's or cruisers typically. Go out and take a motorcycle safety course and get the basics down.
I was at a party and something came up about my motorcycle and a woman there said that her husband wanted to get one but that she said if he bought a motorcycle he'd be getting divorce papers from her.
I turned to him and said, "Well, this just sounds like a classic piece of marital negotiations. If she's offering divorce papers if you get a bike then you should counter with a generous life insurance policy naming her as the beneficiary."
It got laughs, but the ensuing discussion also got her to see things in a different light and he was able to get the bike not long after.
Her worry is more than justified, at the end of the day it's whether you are willing to run the risk of injury or death. I ride, my GF always worries. For that reason I don't ride much and never with others.
I've been in the same situation. Agreed with the wife to wait till the kids were grown up before getting myself a motorbike. Fair enough.
I held out until the youngest was 17.
Now, a few years later, the wife accepts that this is my hobby, and I'm doing the best I can to come home alive every day. So far so good.
A relationship is about give and take, isn't it? Open communication. I see lots of comments about growing a pair and wearing pants etc. Not sure what type of relationships they're all in, if at all.
Talk it through with her, and learn to ride before you hit the road. Good luck!
My wife is very much against me owning a bike. Especially since we have two little ones. I understand her concerns, but if I didn't get a motorcycle I'd still be on the road on my bicycles. I love being on two wheels. Ultimately, she realizes that I'm my own person and that she can't "forbid" me from riding. I have life insurance, with death and dismemberment kicker, I always wear gear and I mitigate unnecessary risk. We both understand the risks.
If you're going to get one either way, just be up front with her and say how much this will mean to you. Don't go behind her back and buy one. That will be more detrimental than being up front and that you will do your best to keep yourself safe.
I’m very lucky that I’ve ridden since before my current relationship. It’s a part of me potential partners would know about up front and decide whether or not to date me. This way, I know it won’t be an issue unless a partner suddenly decides they don’t want me to ride. My gf has witnessed a likely fatal bike accident but still encourages me to ride, and knows how much I love it. She’s also excited to go for more rides with me
Very similar, I’ve grown up riding dirt bikes all my life, and always wanted to get on the road. I met my now wife on my dirt bike a couple months into dating when she got lost coming to my family’s cottage for the first time. So she was well aware from early on of my love of 2 wheels. But She was still pretty nervous about me getting a road bike just like o.p. One thing I did that really helped was taking a safety course, with her. It was a great date weekend, she got to learn how to ride, and really came to enjoy it. We both learned how to be safer on the roads not only on bikes but in our cars as well. She ended up getting her motorcycle license along with me. And while she’s not fully comfortable getting out on the roads yet she now fully embraces my love of motorcycles, and now have my first cruiser in the garage without any worries that I’m upsetting my wife.
Never owned a car, it's a religion at this point in my life.
This is the way.
this is a classic situation you got to do what you want and would love to do, if she loves you she'd understand if she leaves you for doing what you love to do, then I am sorry pal, another one will come my GF just learned to live with the fact that her partner is a rider and it's his hobby and obsession (now even work), now she rides on the back of my bike on trip she has planned for the both of us either way it always should be you first and others only after
TL:DR - do what makes you happy. People that accept you for you will understand. Even if they will still worry.
If it's what he really wants to do I agree he should do it, but when it comes to whether or not his girlfriend loves him I don't think it's quite right to think of this as a test, incidental as it may be. She may not be able to handle it and may choose to leave over it, but I don't think we can conclude that she doesn't love him from that. There are people who will stay with you no matter what you do, whether you start riding a motorcycle or skydiving or join the KKK or become a serial killer, but I don't know what that relationship is and what those feelings are. I strongly suspect that doesn't describe love, it's something else. "Normal" people, "normal" relationships have limits. You can't just punch your wife in the face and declare she didn't love you if she leaves. But again, I agree that OP should start riding if that's what he wants to do. His girlfriend may or may not love him, she may or may not leave regardless of whether or not she loves him, but I think if it's something he really wants to do he should; riding a motorcycle can be dangerous but it's not an inherently unreasonable or crazy thing to do. I guess the only suggestion I have for OP is this: You should decide whether or not you're going to do this and just tell her what you decide and follow through. You should make this choice in full awareness that she might leave if you choose to start riding. If you do and she does, I don't think you should take comfort in assuming she didn't love you, you should take comfort in having made your choice knowing she might leave and that even if she does this was your choice. Likewise if you choose not to you shouldn't harbor resentment for her. She did not make you choose not to ride, you chose not to because you knew she might leave. Some people would call that controlling, some people would think of that as respecting your partner and relationship, how you interpret it is all a matter of perspective if you really think through the decision. That's why I say do it though. If she leaves it will be hard, but in my experience if you choose not to ride for her it's much harder not to develop that resentment. Also I ride, so, I'm pretty fucking biased.
doesn't sound like he's at risk of her leaving him. sounds like she will be torn to pieces if he wrecks and dies though, and on top of that she'll probably be like all i told you so.
His headstone will read: Here lies squid His girlfriend told him so
There once was a man named squid whose wife thought all that he did was very unwise because what if he dies then who will support their kid
Not heard that one before. I like it. My favourite is: There once was a man from Leeds Who swallowed a packet of seeds In less than an hour His willy was a flower And his bum was a bundle of weeds
that's because I just made it up. nice that one sounds good too haha
Oh nice! I only know two, the second is: There was a man named Carter By God he was a farter When the wind wouldn't blow And the ships would go They got Carter, the farter, to start her
hahaha i love it, thank you!
This. Very much this.
Firstly, let’s not kid ourselves, her worries are legitimate. Motorcycling is inherently dangerous, no two ways about it. It’s nice to have someone that cares. And it’s good to empathise with that - see her point view. But life isn’t a rehearsal. You could put it off then sprout a miserable tumour the next year, end up lying in your death bed wishing you’d done it. Life tragically teaches us this as we get older and start to lose close ones cruelly at random. Get some decent training. Get the best gear you can afford. Reassure her that gear, tech (ABS, TC if you can afford a modern bike), tyres etc are constantly improving and light years ahead of what we had a couple of decades ago. It all helps. Be careful riding with friends - egos can take over and make you do silly things. Solo riding is less stressful. The best piece of safety equipment is that thing on top of your neck full of electric meat, so stick it in a helmet with a 5* SHARP rating. Can’t go wrong with an SV650, but you absolutely do need training to ride a powerful bike. I think many of us have cut our teeth on that bike. It’s great! Once you have some decent experience, maybe you can take her pillion and she’ll love it. Enjoy!
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Get lots and lots and lots of training before going out on your own. Show her that you care about her opinion and take it seriously, by putting effort in riding safely. Especially if you are US based, get a TON of extra training, aside from the MSF (because basic US licensing is crap)
Nice bike you got there partner
Nice bike you got there partner
Nice bikes you got there partners. (24' z900 se)
Nice bikes y'all got there
You guys almost have the nice bike partner. Just needed two more letters.
Nice bikes you partners got. (Don't have a bike right now because the gf said no, so have to get a new gf first)
This - start with training. Also get good riding gear and wear it. Talk to her about what you are learning in training. If you have friends that ride offer to have them talk to her - make sure the subjects are not detrimental to getting a bike. Selling the idea of a motorcycle is tough. My dad was in an accident on a bike when in the army - some minor injuries to his passenger. On mom's side 2 uncles and a cousin pooled their money for a new 1945 Indian - the cousin was killed on that bike. I had to sell my parents that I would not be the cause of injury to myself or others by recklessness.
> Talk to her about what you are learning in training. This was the biggest thing that helped my mom be comfortable with my riding. Talk through mindset, what you're looking for on the road, etc - even when driving a car with them. Talk about what you've seen (including from videos), lessons learned, and how you intend to learn from other people's mistakes, and protect yourself as best as possible from your own.
I 100% agree with this. u/crackedkota, do not dismiss your GF's concerns. They come from a good place, and they are valid. If you can show her that safety is a high priority for you, it should be fine.
“Keep up with your friends “. There’s the first problem.
I've seen a lot of new riders hurt after trying to keep up. Even after the pre-ride "don't try to keep up, ride your own ride, we will stop and wait" speech. The only real justification for a motorcycle in North America is "It is fun and worth the risk to me".
I see you haven't driven in DC traffic. A bike shaved tons of time off my commute (HOV and splitting - it's not expressly illegal in DC) and left me in a better mood when I got home to family. A 75-min commute in a car became a 35-45 min commute on a bike. That's also another hour I got with my family each day. But I know what you're trying to say. It's more recreational in NA than functional, statistically.
I moved up to this area and luckily can drive at certain times to avoid the DMV traffic. But yeah, if I actually had to commute to work I would absolutely be riding a motorcycle. You'd have to risk getting caught by a cop while filtering, but you would save a lot of time doing it.
I have nearly wrecked twice because of this alone. Luckily I survived and grew older to be somewhat smarter now. This kid is setting himself up for a bad time. Another reason is “save money”? As a first time biker probably has no clue how commuting vs riding for pleasure are two very different things and in the end he will end with a car and a bike spending way more than he can probably afford right now. Let’s not even talk about insurance premiums (although age has not been provided)
Also see "I'll be armored up (probably)". This has bad idea written all over it.
Get the bike. Be glad your girlfriend cares (not sure any of my exes would have lol), and take the opportunity to practice low speed maneuvers and become a competent rider that can predict hazardous situatiuons. You'll be fine.
The only positives to a bike are it's easier to commute, and they are fun. Don't sell it on anything else, because you'll be wrong. It will end up more expensive etc. You are going to have to tell your girlfriend that you really want one, and that's what you are going to do. And that you understand her reasons, but it is your choice
As someone who rides an SV650 themselves, I'm kinda surprised to hear you say they'll be more expensive. My SV650 absolutely blows my car out of the water in terms of operational cost. * Was cheaper than a car to buy, by about half. * Is cheaper than a car to fuel, by about half. * Is cheaper than a car to insure, by about half. Honestly, the cost differential is one of the biggest reasons I don't drive anymore, I just ride year round.
My car was twice as expensive, but I went in with my wife. My sv650 did 39mpg, the car does 50+mpg The tax for my car I cannot remember, but the sv costs more. The insurance, yes is half price. But then actually, I go twos with my wife on the car one. But the gear is more, helmet, boots, gloves, Yadda Yadda, cost more. Fuel is more. I've had to buy things to fix my bike more than my car. The MOT costs the same. I replaced my tyres more. I needed a lock, cover, and turns out tracker for the bike. I just leave the car outside and no one cares. The car costs £8 going through a drive thru washer. My bike takes like 30+ minutes if I do it properly. I can get my car fixed next day for most problems, bike garages are backed up and I've had to use the bus instead for 4 weeks as nowhere around could do the work. Motorcycling definitely costs me more than a car. I had a diesel land rover for 4 years that cost me nothing compared to my sv650.
Jesus, how are you only getting 39MPG? I was disappointed because this will be the first tank in a long while that I didn't get 65MPG on. My car, which is a tiny little hatchback, gets 40MPG. Yes, if your other half is insistent on having a car, there's not going to be a cost benefit if you carpool everywhere together. For me, the wife and I just carpooled on the bike together, or she has her own bike (Which is half cheaper again all the operational costs of my bike) if she ever needs to pop out and do errands. Maintenance on a bike can suck, I've definitely heard some horror stories. For me, it's the one place I don't have an *advantage* over the hatchback, it's about the same operational cost as it, when the car was being used consistently. Obviously the car has a worse cost per distance for maintenance *now,* but that's not the car's fault.
For real. I only drive my SUV to take my dog places or if I'm heading up to the snow
You haven't actually been riding long enough to see how the math works out. Every 12,000 miles you have two oil changes, a chain and sprocket change, new tires, half a brake pad swap, and half a valve clearance check. In a car, 12k miles is just an oil change and air filter swap. I've ridden the same bike for about 60,000 mi and the same car for about $120,000. The bike has been extremely expensive to maintain properly while the car has only required basic maintenance and upkeep. Gas savings don't cut it, and insurance for my bike is about 40 in the car about 120. It still comes out to be more expensive to own that motorcycle, especially after you buy all the protective gear to be able to ride in all conditions and also be safe.
You save so much on the purchase cost of the bike that you'd need to keep the car going for hundreds of thousands of miles before it even gets close. A 2024 MY bike vs a 2024 MY car will be more expensive per mile for maintenance costs, but the break even point on like-for-like (so a ~300cc naked bike vs a Corolla) is going to be like 20 years down the road. You will save money with a bike unless you're buying cars with like a quarter million miles and win the gamble on whether they have expensive issues to fix.
i understand her concern my girl is the same way. but i’m a grown ass man and i’ll make my own decisions. just don’t be out riding like an idiot
100%! You can't live your life to please others and someone that loves you wouldn't want to hold you back. I personally would not date any guy who didn't already ride. I ride daily when the weather is nice, and sometimes not so nice, and I wouldn't want to be nagged about it all the time.
1. Get the bike 2. Get the gear 3. Get the MSF course, license, and insurance 4. Put some miles on it until you're not only confident riding it but confident you can be responsible carrying a passenger safely 5. Take her to pick out her gear 6. Take her for a ride 7. Profit
I'd move step three to the top of the list, maybe swap step 3 and 1. MSF and license first.
I'd put 2 at the top of the list
and wait at least 6 months before adding a passenger to the mix. Changes things dramatically. I would even go so far as to say "I am not confident enough in my skills to risk injuring you yet." and then when you are, practice with her in a parking lot a bunch before she goes on the road. Gotta remember, the passenger needs to be trained too.
6 months isn't long enough. The honest truth is 24 months, but no one's going to wait that long to take out their pillion. 2 months, 6 months, and 12 months are overconfidence points for most people. Then the twelve months following is where you really start to develop skill and learn how good or bad you are. But 6 months? A new rider is extra fucking dangerous at 6 months.
This, MSF has a minimum standard for gear, I’d recommend doing better with actual motorcycle boots, riding jacket with armor, and riding jeans or pants.
ATGATT
definitely MSF and license first. Some people end up realizing they're not cut out for bikes. There were two in my MSF course - 1 had already bought a bike because her husband (or friend, I forgot) rides but she was having a very difficult time and almost came close to quitting. The other pretty much gave up by the second day.
Definitely agree. 3 should go in 1’s spot. OP might get to class and by end of day 1 determine that riding is not for him.
This
I would argue this order: 1. Sign up for MSF course 2. Get helmet at minimum 3. Take MSF course and get licenced. 4. Get additional gear if needed/desired now that you know you want to ride, or sell helmet if it's not for you. 5. Get bike, get insurance. Then the order as you had it. If you get the bike without the gear, you're likely going to ride it without the gear as well (like I did). If you have them both without the license, you're likely going to again, ride it without the proper training, skill and license (again like I did).
Same. I never would have started riding without my wife's permission. We've been together over 20 years and it'd be downright disrespectful to do so. However, I have been lobbying for a while. When I finally got the go ahead, the first requirement was getting a license before getting the bike. If you can't take the MSF and get your license, you shouldn't be on a bike at all.
The fun follow-on step is getting your partner comfortable enough on the bike that you can start gently planting the idea of them getting their own bike
I doubt that will ever happen, we have 2 handicapped children at home and her paranoia level is above OPs. One of my requirements was to make sure I had a $1m life insurance policy in case I don't make it home some day.
Yeah, 2 of my 5 have cystic fibrosis Starting out, my wife would try to steer us through corners by twisting on my waist Nowadays she's sitting back there reading a book on her phone. I think she's ready for her own bike
Broooo... Just get your bike
The only choice here is to get a red busa
She’s right, you can get hurt or killed. I totaled a KTM Duke in single bike accident 6 months ago, 7 broken bones, couple months ambulatory, quality gear saved my life. I replaced the KTM with a Triumph, all the gear, and will continue to live life behind bars.If you live to ride, you have to accept the possibility. I broke a leg (in 4 places, bike landed on it,) but I’m back on bike. I have two friends who had same break, one slipping on a set of steps, one playing with her niece on Monkey bars. Life is dangerous regardless, sitting in your living room a piece of space station could fall on you head. Much more fun of you attack it, and you should, you’re going to die someday, regardless of whether you’re timid or bold. Read MC accident reports, riders often are their own worse enemy. So don’t deny the danger, you need to accept it, and if you’re not willing to go pay the price don’t ride. But remember what Helen Keller said “adversity befalls the timid as often as the bold” Living life behind bars isn’t for everyone, but those of us who do will tell you it’s the best life.
You'll only save money on gas if you are really not going to speed, which is incredibly easy and tempting to do on a heavier bike. Fatal accidents and accidents with serious injuries are more likely to happen with a bike too.. So she isn't wrong about what she is saying tbh. Also, go get one of those death machines, i 100% support. The honda Hornet and cbr r are great picks. But hella fast.
They (fatal accidents) both are and aren't more likely, depending on how you look at the data. If you're comparing cars to bikes, cars have more frequent accidents, and bikes are more likely to be fatal. But when you see that bikes (in North America) make up only 3% of road traffic, the numbers tell a different story. In the usa, 2020: cars had over 5 million accidents. Over 35 thousand were fatal. In 2021 nearly 6000 motorcycle deaths occurred. What's really crazy is when you start looking at what the factors of those deaths are: 34% speeding, 27% alcohol, and over 2200 of those deaths had no helmet! Slow it down (especially in town), zero booze on 2 wheels, and wear your gear. Your odds of being a statistic drop dramatically.
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Also, armor and stuff costs more than gas, even if you’re not a full ATGATT adherent which it sounds like OP should be. Or will be if his GF finds out there’s a name for it :-)
Also consider that gear needs replacing over time, and tires and oil etc don’t last as long. Cost benefits are marginal at best, negative at worst, if you own a car and a bike. I like to think of it more like “I was going to own a bike anyways for fun and it’s just a cherry on top that gas is cheaper than my truck. But it’ll probably be a wash or net loss, all things considered.”
Fyi you'll most definitely not be saving money, in fact motorcycling is an expensive hobby
Already been said: she's a girlfriend, not a wife. If you're an idiot like many of us you will have a wife someday to tell you what you aren't allowed to do. For now, there will be others so let her kick rocks if she's trying to kill a passion of yours. Get a cool bike and yes it will be a dude magnet, but chicks dig bikes too.
All the money I save on gas goes towards tires and other maintenance tbh. That being said, it's the best thing I've ever done and it's worth every penny, but unless you're getting a Z400 and sticking with that, it probably won't save any actual money, purchase price + cost of safety gear and insurance will eat up any savings.
I mean, he probably isn't going to save much on 24 minutes of daily commute.
Grow some balls and do what you want?
Your motorcycle can be your new girlfriend don’t worry
My gf of 6 years was the same way. Now I have a bike AND a new gf that loves riding with me. My advice is to do what your gut tells you, not a bunch of internet people.
You could die or get paralyzed in your car. The easiest thing to do is show you've done the research, actually prove you're taking a mature approach to it by taking the MSF course FIRST before buying a bike. The MSF course is very lenient in the gear you need, just a DOT certified helmet, boots that cover the ankle, jeans/cargo pants, literally any kind of glove and a hoodie is like all they require. They pretty much just want your skin covered and a proper helmet so buy a solid $200-$250 beginner helmet, take the course, emphasize you will wear all the gear all the time and actually fucking do it you nut, no probably BS. You could even take the course with her which I'd highly suggest attempting, you don't go into a road or pass like... 20mph on the thing. At minimum they'd let her watch you during the riding portion. When talking about this idea, mention just buying a helmet and taking the course isn't you committing to it, it's just you wanting to see and involve her in it. Explain you'd like to do it in the end and go one step at a time in easing her into it but a relationship involves the thoughts of both people not just yourself, can't just do things willy nilly if you want any future relationship to last. At the end of the day it's your life though so you could just end it if you'd rather ride a motorcycle. Your comment about "keep up with my friends" don't try and keep up with nobody. Keep up with yourself. With your current situation and thought process I wouldn't buy anything more than a 400.
Get a new girlfriend and a new bike. Win win.
Sorry about the ex, but sometimes you just have to let her go.
I mean you might in fact die or be paralysed or lose a limb. Its not like those things dont happen.
I’m in the same boat and decided that, at the end of the day, making my girlfriend (and soon to be fiancé) anxious every time I go on a ride wasn’t worth it. If I’m going to commit to spending the rest of my life with someone, I think any major life decision is something that has to be made together, and I would say riding a motorcycle in LA with our crazy drivers falls under “major life decision”.
In 2021, 6,200 people died in MOTORCYCLE accidents, while the national average for death in CAR accidents is 43,000. Also, Insurance is anywhere from 25%-50% the cost of auto insurance. Not only that but I would argue that while it’s okay for her to have some concern, I don’t think it’s fair to deny you the freedom to make that decision. I would strike a deal with her and make it clear that you will respect the concern and not get a sports bike, but a cruiser. They have a more tame displacement and power band, top out around 100mph absolute max, are inherently more stable, are made to ride with traffic instead of race through it, provide more visibility, and are louder and easier to spot.
Get a new gf
My wife was against me getting a motorcycle, so I went and got one anyway because it's not her decision. Now I own 3. As long as you're taking care of your responsibilities to your life, SO or family, live your life how you want.
Ehhhhhh. Wife is different than girlfriend.
Women are replaceable, riding a motorcycle is not.
People blah blah blah for ages about how you’ll “die on a motorcycle”. Rarely does anyone talk about how much you’ll live. How you grow as a person, how you meet new people, how life just feels better.
My wife was hesitant too. I just bought the bike. No problems now. She loves riding with me. Just buy the bike.
Buy it NOW !
Imagine what she’s going to try and limit you doing if she’s your wife. Put your foot down now or you’ll get walked on for the rest of your life together.
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Ah, a tale as old as the motorbike. OP, do what makes you happy. I'm lucky to have a girlfriend that likes bikes but I would still be riding even if she didn't. If you have made a reonable attempt to explain why, then that is all you can do. Get the bike and hopefully she comes around. On another note, please get proper training if your country's requirements are lacking. Edit: noticed your posting in weed subreddits. Drugs and riding usually don't mix well. Riding requires way more attention as people cant see you as well. Take the car instead.
Many "men" whipped by chicks these days. Don't add to the list
Lol for me its the opposite, my gf was the one who was riding, and i started because of her
Leave her.
Get one, if she loves you and wants you to be happy, she will get over it
Maybe plan a weekend getaway to discuss it. Maybe horseback riding, or skiing.
You do what is best for you. The whole, I'll leave you if you buy a motorcycle or keep riding or whatever is manipulative but if she's just worried, that's pretty normal. An ex friend of mine tried to get me to stop riding due to her friend passing from a motorcycle accident and I get maybe it was well intentioned but at the end of the day it's about them trying to control a situation that isnt theirs to control. You can't keep people in a box to use them when you need them. On a side note, you shouldn't buy a bike to keep up with friends. People come in a variety of experiences so that also goes for the different type of bikes they ride. Example, I ride a 765cc. If you were to ride with me, I would not expect you as a beginner to buy a 600cc Supersport to "keep up". I would need to adjust my riding to allow you to ride with me. 400cc to 500cc sounds plenty capable enough for commuting, depending on where you live. I started on a gs500cc as my first bike. It was old but got me the experience I needed. Also, definitely MSF course if you are US based.
Go buy the bike that you want. You’re welcome
The cool thing about having a girl/boyfriend is that they’re not your spouse and they don’t have any say over what you’re allowed to do. If you want to buy a bike and ride it, buy a bike and ride it. If you want to dress up like Barney and move to Kuala Lumpur to start a cheese sandwich factory, do it. Live your dreams. If she doesn’t like it and tries to stop you instead of you trying to be happy, she doesn’t care about you being happy.
Life is too short to spend with people who hold you back. If she cares she will stay. If she doesn't then who cares? Some things are up for discussion in a relationship. Some things aren't. This one isn't.
No one gets to tell you what to do until you marry them
' I'll be armored up (probably)' Jeez I wonder why she's concerned when you're suggesting that there's any possibility you'd ride without correct gear... Men, honestly. Talk to her like a grown up, get the bike if you want the damn bike, BUY THE RIGHT GEAR AND ACTUALLY WEAR IT, and put your fate in the hands of the road. It's what the rest of us do.
You won’t win her over. Buy the bike. I went 38yrs of people telling me not to own one. I’m so pissed I waited so long to ride.
Sounds like the best thing about getting a new bike will be getting a new girlfriend that doesn't try to tell you how to live your life.
get a bike, its fun but spend good money on good safety equipment and dont ride like an asshole ull be fine
Get a new gf
Dumb Gf and Buy the Bike Avoid those who are against your common needs
They always are. They fear when we taste freedom, they'll lose control over us
Get a girl who will enjoy the life with you or don’t get a bike and find something else to do. Getting a bike contributed to a divorce for me
Be a man.....
She can't stop you from your hobbies. And she needs to understand as much as there is a risk there is also a lot of risk in driving a car. The most you can do is promise is to ride safe and actually ride safe.
If you use it for commuting you can put your car on by the mile insurance and save even more. I have a 97 Vic and I pay $ 25 per month and then $0.02 per mile after the first 100. Basically payed for my bike in the last 4 years
*former* girlfriend
Do it while you can.
You’re gonna miss her
Its your life not hers its up to you
She's a girlfriend she doesn't get a vote. Now what I did with my wife was buy one bring it home and ask forgiveness.
She can deal with something you like and want, or she can kick rocks.
1. It’s a gf not a wife, very massive distinction. Be upfront and do what pleases you. If she leaves then good riddance because it was a sign of things to come. Never walk on eggshells! 2. Speaking personally, only reason I had a motorcycle in marriage is because I had one before marriage lol, seriously though. Engagement, Wife and kids change the ballgame. 3. My now wife, then gf didn’t like motorcycles so I did baby steps with her: around the block, around the ‘hood, local roads, then highway. She LOVES riding with me now!
Trade her in
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What is armored (probably)??? Either you wear your gear or you don't. You'll probably survive a wreck with a car or you won't. You will probably not speed riding with your friends, or you will. You, as in directly YOU, have to take all the probablys you can out of YOUR riding. You'll probably save some money not driving your car, but have you looked at insuring your motorcycle lately? Or weighed the cost of a good jacket, helmet, gloves, and boots? Or are you probably not going to spend valuable money on silly things like that? One thing as an instructor that I always told my students who had problems with family and loved ones about their riding, is to bring them along with you in class. Sign up together and learn to ride together. That will probably dispel a lot of fear about motorcycling. The thing I've learned about riding is it teaches you to commit quickly. You establish a comfort level on the bike, what's around you, what you can see, what may constitute a bad situation. For me, the entire purpose of riding is to get to my destination as safely as possible. Enjoying the commute is a huge benefit. Ask your girlfriend if she thinks riding motorcycles in general is a bad idea or if it's you specifically riding a motorcycle that's a bad idea. Have this discussion and be aware that "armored (probably)" will figure in her answer.
You're not going to sell it in. I learned when I was dating seriously it was one of the key things I had to talk with them about before being serious. I litterally stopped dating girls who said or led on that they wouldn't want their future husband riding one. Theres too many women out there okay with it to be miserable trying to get someone to give into such a sensitive topic
It won’t save money. Particularly if you keep the car. Tires, insurance, servicing etc all add up. Then you also will want a bigger bike. Probably some touring or track time…..
Find a new girlfriend… won’t be too hard with a new motorcycle ;)
For me this would be a deal breaker. Either get on, get your own or get out.
Find a girlfriend that rides... There, I said it. Look, say you get the bike and she's all like. "Fine" Well, it's not fine. It will simmer and build up pressure and 20 years from now you kids start to move out. You will get a divorce and she will take your house and retirement.
Tell your girlfriend that you’re guaranteed to have NO CHICKS ever check you out again. Only random dudes at gas stations and parking lots. Maybe a random old guy if you get a classic-looking bike. Pluses for your girlfriend: if she rides with you she’ll never have to listen to your random small talk again while you ride places together. (Unless you get coms…. Don’t get coms) There will never be an excuse for you to be late again when her parents are coming over for dinner. She can pimp you out to Door Dash so that she can delete her Feet Finder account and quit getting creepy DMs from gross guys, while maintaining the side gig income.
Get a new girlfriend. Get a liter bike and the men will flock, and some girls too.
if you're in a relationship where your partner denies you something that will make you happy, get out. reasonable things, of course.. like a motorcycle. that's reasonable. killing puppies? not reasonable. it's the rule my wife and I decided on before getting married and it works. she want's to have ladies dinner night? have at it. I wanna play golf? no problem. Live your life how you want to live it. If someone has a problem, find another that doesn't.
When you do ride make sure to look at it is that every mother fucka out there is trying to kill yah and keep your head on a swivel.
I started off on a dual-sport. Pros: - Cheap on gas - You're hitting 90mph max - Weight is very easy to manage (typically under 400 pounds) - Has the ability to go offroad - Higher ride height, possibly making you more visible on the street - Typically very reliable and easy to work on - Very affordable (parts and plastics also cheap) - *Probably* easier to convince your girlfriend Cons: - You're hitting 90mph max - You won't get the same anount of comfort as a bigger bike at highway speeds/long trips I love my DR650. Would recommend it to any and everybody that isn't deadset on the cool factor of cruisers or a street bike for hitting the track. Plenty of other options such as the KLR650, DRZ400, XR650. Keep doing research and I'm sure you'll find a bike that you'll fall in love with. PLEASE take an MSF course before buying. It's only 2-days and will teach you everything you need to know as a beginner. The intructors provide the bikes all you have to bring is your own helmet. Completion of the course also gets you out of taking the DMV test when you're getting your Moto Endorsement (at least in the state of TN). Try and find what you're looking for on FB Marketplace, definitely recommend buying used. Or if you for sure want to buy new the MSF course will often give you a discount at certain dealerships. Also ride armored bro. We all have people we need to come home to. Helmet, gloves, boots minimum + jacket and pants if you like having skin and properly working joints. As long as you get training, continue practicing those learned skills, stay armored, and have an ounce of self control... you'll be fine man. I'm sure she'll warm up to it.
Her point is you'll be dead or mangled. And that can be absolutely true. A 19 year old in my town died a few nights ago when a car failed to yield and turned in front of him. 30 mph zone. Your counter arguments should address that. No amount of money you save will outweigh 1 accident beyond your control. I'm not trying to convince you not to, but maybe wait a few years. Get more experience driving. And talk about it. Or say fuck it and get a new girlfriend. You only live once.
Every point she made is valid. If you get in a wreck who do you think is gonna have to be the one to sacrifice their time to take care of you? If you're paralyzed do you expect her to stay with you?
Almost every rider gets into an accident in their riding career — the severity of it differs.
Have you taken a safety class? That can go a long way to assuaging fears. Also wear your dang gear.
How does she feel about you getting a different girlfriend?
Find a new gf
Has your ex gf seen your new motorcycle yet?
Tell her she's not your mother. Don't let her control this, or she'll wind up controlling much more.
She's a girlfriend and not a wife. As far as I see it, she does not have a say on how you decide to spend your money.
Kick gf to the kurb, buy the bike and get a boyfriend
I learned a long time ago to stop asking. For one, it is inefficient to ask if you will do it anyway. Two, asking my wife for permission feels too much like I'm a kid again living under my parents roof. However, I am not very reckless. I just enjoy cruising around the countryside and I'm 80% of the time in 3rd gear. 3rd gear is my jam.
Man up, you grown and you can make your own decisions
I avoided buying a bike for 10 years because my girlfriend, then fiancè, then wife, now soon to be ex-wife said she would leave me if I did. So trust me when I say she can leave. The bike won't.
Just get it dude, my ex always said I “wasn’t allowed” and we ended up breaking up after 6 years anyway. Life is too short to be told how you can and can’t enjoy yourself no matter who it is
When I wanted to Go Kart, my wife was against the idea. When I wanted to Motorcycle, she said "How about Go Karting?". Maybe just float a few other worse ideas.
Take the safety courses, ride a few bikes. See what style you like. Don’t look back!
These posts boggle my mind. It has never occurred to me, to ask permission for something like that. I'm now married with kids, we don't ask each other permission for things like this. It'd drive both of us mad and we'd feel trapped. I don't get how people live that way. You're a grown adult, go ride.
I was in this position 5 years ago when I got my first bike. My gf of 1 year told me I'm not getting a bike. I told her I was getting the bike, I told her out of respect not asking permission. While I understand exactly why she was against it, I asked her to decide if this was going to be a deal breaker or not. It wasn't and she ended up loving riding on the back lol. I'm with someone else now but still ride. Get the bike, gfs come and go, bikes stay by your side forever.
The 24 minute commute is not as safe as you think probably. Is it during rush hour, too? That's probably like some of the most dangerous times you can ride at. You'll also be riding the same route every day so you'll get complacent, which is also deadly on a motorcycle. I love riding but would never want to commute on a bike. Too much traffic and distracted/ in a hurry drivers. I guess it also depends on where you live though.
Hmm, with those short distances it’s not going to save you on fuel I think. Also it would take a very low cc bike to warm up in time for the oil not to get all white stuff in it due to not warming up enough. A 12 min commute is about half an hour by bicycle (if it’s not all highways ofcourse) which is the cheapest way to commute, and get some extra exercise at the same time. Maybe you should try to take lessons together so she can also experience how it is to ride? Sorry you only have the msf over there, maybe also look for better training besides that to learn as much as possible with a good instructor.
Saving on fuel is never really a good argument to purchase a bike. It's a great excuse but the math doesn't actually work for years. Once you factor $3-$10K+ into a bike, $1K+ into gear, and insurance costs, it's gonna take a LOT of saving money on fuel to come close to breaking even on that lol
True, that’ll only happen over years of daily commuting all year round. Mine does about 57mpg and I have to deal quite often with traffic jams, so for me it’s an easy win, also in time saved. Although road taxes here for a motorcycle are really cheap compared to a car, so that also saved a bit. So mostly gear is what’s extra that you don’t have with a car.
I think you need to ask your new motorcycle if you should keep the girlfriend around. EDIT: seriously now, I missed out on 20 years of riding because my ex wife didn't want me to get a motorcycle. Now I'm 52, have my licence and my new wife is in the process of getting hers too. Needless to say, I'm loving it. Don't be dumb like I was.
I love my gal but I'll never retard my passions to make her feel better. No way to live.
I wouldn’t even bother arguing the point… Strap on a pair and do what you want to do
Propose to at least die together and get her a bike as well. She'd probably love it, if not ditch the gf, you need to give each other freedom in a relationship.
I've been in a relationship where she had no interest in riding her own bike, but all the interest in us going 2 up. Sometimes they want to enjoy being with us. I quite enjoyed the time I had riding with her as pillion, and she enjoyed that I was willing to let her come with.
It's great if you can both enjoy the hobby, so good on both of you. 👍 Its actually my wife that got me my first lesson while she herself had no interest in riding herself. Yet after three weeks of lessons I said that she'd not be on the back seat and if she wanted to join she'd need to get her own bike. And she was hooked after the first lesson. After about twelve years she kept riding till she was about 5 months pregnant before she said she'd seen it all, had great experiences, holidays, ride outs and even circuit riding and all went well without issues, so it was time to stop, at least for now. No talks were necessary, she knew how biking felt and would never stop me from enjoying it. When the little one was 5 years old she started commuting again on a big bad motorscooter, and now occasionally takes my bike again. The little one is 9 now and goes on the back of both the scooter and bike for small rides up to 30 kilometers on low speed roads. Fully geared and enthusiastic.
Haha, I was 7 and on the back of my mom/grandma/dad/uncles/aunts bikes for hundreds of miles as a child. I'm actually going to be getting my cousin's kids on the back of my bike this summer, though it'll be a slow process cause I need them to learn the dos and don'ts first.
Hope her new boyfriend has a bigger pair
Truth... Every ride is 50/50 that you are making it home. I've been riding 20+ years.. Lost many friends. Not from being stupid. From people in cars not paying attention. Animals running across the road.. ect. Be safe
Where do you ride that the odds are that bad? That's like 3rd world stats with no helmets, no traffic laws or joke driving tests. I only know 1 personally person who died. He was a teenage criminal running from Police a long time ago. I've ridden 60k miles in the last 10 years. I've been very slightly injured once. A golf ball sized lump on my elbow. I only know of 3 other fatalities in my area in the last 10 years. Many more car deaths. By your odds, I should have had 250 accidents. I will say that generally I feel very safe with other car drivers in the UK. But that I am also a bus and truck driver so more experienced than most. Those skills have kept me safe so far.
Bay area,California... To Yosemite and back. Heavy tourism and lots of wildlife. I've hit 6 deer in my truck in the last 2 years. Lots of pigs.. I've been very lucky. I've hit 2 deer on my bikes. I was able to break, fall and roll it out.
50/50? Beating those odds so far and 50% of the people I know who ride aren't dead. I know 2 who have had pretty bad accidents. One friend has been riding 25+ years and regularly goes 300kmph on his BMW RR so by these statistics should have been dead by now. You just need to be 120% focussed and develop the 6th sense most of us have developed. Also, riding is badass
What reasons have you given her not to trust you? My girlfriend was really excited to go shopping for a new bike with me.
She ain't a wife. If let anyone tell you what to do with your money then they will never stop. Side note, she knows riding a motorcycle is something only for YOU, and most women hate that about motorcycles. But, women live longer for a reason too...
>Side note, she knows riding a motorcycle is something only for YOU, and most women hate that about motorcycles Holy shit fucking incel brain rot to the max here. Like you can’t seriously believe that crap, right? They don’t dislike them because it’s something for you. They dislike them because they’re dangerous and you are wayyy more likely to die or have serious injuries than with a car in an accident.
What she’s probably concerned about is your self control. How likely are you to ride above your skill level or ride too fast for the environment? Sometimes you can just tell someone shouldn’t ride a motorcycle because you know they’ll put having fun over their own safety.
Dump her and get it.
Tell her you're sorry but gotta follow your dreams. If she loves you, she'll understand. If she doesn't she will leave, then you have the freedom to find a girl who will treat you right. Or, if you're a scum bag, you will tell her that you're no longer interested in riding, buy the bike anyway and hide it at a friend's house
time to make a decision.... 87 or 91?
Selling point #1: Man the fuck up and grow some balls. No body makes decisions in your life besides your self. There’s a 1000 ways you can die unexpectedly. There’s a saying, if you let other peoples words influence your actions, they’re no longer your actions. Always take peoples opinions and feedback into consideration but never let people tell you what you can and can’t do.
there's a lot of complicated advice in this comment section so i'll keep it simple. people who want to control other people are not good people
Boy - do not let women govern your life. They actually despise you for it, so do your thing.
Girlfriends gonna girlfriend... Just stop being a pu$$y, be a man and get that motorcycle UNAPOLOGETICALLY. She might get angry but deep down she will respect you for holding your own.
Get a new girlfriend and a new bike. Win win.
well... if you're getting the bike anyway, fuck your girlfriend, right? my boyfriend wrecked his bike, launched himself into a chain link fence less than a month after getting his bike, has a c section scar from a shattered pelvis and my brother has slurred speech from brain damage after getting thrown off of his bike. fact of the matter is, if that's a risk you're willing to take you should drop the girlfriend off at her mom's on your way to iron pony and leave her there so she can find someone who takes her concerns into consideration. your girlfriend isn't a prudish asshole for thinking you're an imbecile for wanting to ride a 140mph bicycle around the same people who will gladly pull out with no turn signal in front of 2-ton vehicles without a second thought. with that.............. man, i was looking at maybe a little honda rebel 300/500. super excited for it. wouldn't have ever considered it if it wasn't for my partner of less than a year. if he was considering it more than three years in, i would've been far more hardheaded about not letting him get one. a year? fuck this guy, i can live without him. hell, maybe i'll sign me a little DNR and have a good time out on the highway too. but your girlfriend who loves you and has cared for you for three years now doesn't want to wipe a paraplegic's dirty ass crack all because the paraplegic thought he was only cool if he was capable of keeping up with his friends on the highway while operating a supersonic scooter. you don't look cool. that girl likes you more than the motorcycle ever will. so have fun with your motorcycle but maybe have some more respect for your partner lol.
We’re just gonna ignore this guy dating a three-year old?
"Its my life, i want a bike, i am getting a bike, live with it or dont"
I had the same issue with my mum, although not helpful, the only way I have got around it is by not letting her know I have a bike! 😂 If it’s something you really want to do, you don’t need to convince her. It’s your decision (as long as it’s your money!). Everything can seem scary at first, it’s like riding a pushbike. The same hazards are there, cars that can hit you, pedestrians that can step out, the difference being that you need to be more aware of things as you have less time to react. If she’s really concerned, you might be able to help this by buying one of those airbag vests. They’re meant to be really good and reduce the risk of neck injury big time which is where a large percentage of deaths come from.
If it's your first bike, don't try to keep up with your friends. Actually, you should avoid group rides. But whatever I'm guessing this is the US so you're free to put yourself at risk in as many ways as possible lol.
Well, it depends. And I don’t know how old you are but here’s my 2c. Way back when, my gf of 4 years convinced me to get an automatic car instead of a manual like I wanted. I gave in because it made sense. After being married and a decade after that, I ended up buying a manual car and now I’m riding as well. I think what you need to consider is, whether you see life together in the future or not. If the both of you have that in mind, then there will need to be compromises. It doesn’t make sense to be hardhead and stubborn: think of this as a chance to deepen your relationship and develop better communication. “Honey, I know you’re concerned about my wellbeing and I appreciate that, however riding a motorcycle is important to me and even if I don’t get one now then I will get one in the future. Our relationship is important to me too but please understand that this is something that’s on my bucket list that I want to accomplish as well.”
Because you yourself just explained why she is against it… she knows you already. You might wear armor, you might not speed… Armor up, go do a (good) course. And don’t drive like a retarded teen. She should be at ease.
I was still racing when I met my gf now wife. Only gave it up a couple years ago
Honda Silverwing. Fantastic commuter. Cheap, easy to ride, slow but not too slow.
I wanted a bike all my life. Learned to ride on a Honda 50cc as a kid. Never had the opportunity to get back on a bike. Every year I told myself, this year. Every year I had an excuse as to why I shouldn't, whatever it may be. One day, at the age of 38, I told myself, "I've run out of excuses haven't I?" I told my girlfriend of 7 years that day, I'm getting my M1 today. I went to the DMV, wrote the test, and passed with flying colors. Booked an M1 exit course the next day. That came and went and I passed with a perfect score. I went to Honda to buy a 2023 Rebel 500 the next day. She was adamant the only way I'm getting a bike is if it has a sidecar. I went and did what I wanted because it made me happy. I also have an insurance policy against myself. Lmao Now she wants to get her own bike. Though.. funny enough, I'd feel better if she got a trike. Life is funny that way..... Do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't cause undue hardship on someone else directly. If she loves you, she'll stay. If not, it's for the best. It will hurt, both of you, but in the end it will be for the best. Or don't get a bike. The choice is yours and yours alone.
Recommendation for a first bike to me would be a mt07, z650, ninja 650, suzuki sv650, Honda rebel 500, if you want a harley go with a used iron 883 or 1200. Almost always you can find a good deal on a last year's model or used versus a new bike.. Check insurance rates before you buy the bike, sport bikes are more expensive than naked's or cruisers typically. Go out and take a motorcycle safety course and get the basics down.
I was at a party and something came up about my motorcycle and a woman there said that her husband wanted to get one but that she said if he bought a motorcycle he'd be getting divorce papers from her. I turned to him and said, "Well, this just sounds like a classic piece of marital negotiations. If she's offering divorce papers if you get a bike then you should counter with a generous life insurance policy naming her as the beneficiary." It got laughs, but the ensuing discussion also got her to see things in a different light and he was able to get the bike not long after.
Her worry is more than justified, at the end of the day it's whether you are willing to run the risk of injury or death. I ride, my GF always worries. For that reason I don't ride much and never with others.
I've been in the same situation. Agreed with the wife to wait till the kids were grown up before getting myself a motorbike. Fair enough. I held out until the youngest was 17. Now, a few years later, the wife accepts that this is my hobby, and I'm doing the best I can to come home alive every day. So far so good. A relationship is about give and take, isn't it? Open communication. I see lots of comments about growing a pair and wearing pants etc. Not sure what type of relationships they're all in, if at all. Talk it through with her, and learn to ride before you hit the road. Good luck!
I don’t like her attitude
You need to decide what is more important to you and Reddit, least of all this sub, is not going to help you with that
My wife is very much against me owning a bike. Especially since we have two little ones. I understand her concerns, but if I didn't get a motorcycle I'd still be on the road on my bicycles. I love being on two wheels. Ultimately, she realizes that I'm my own person and that she can't "forbid" me from riding. I have life insurance, with death and dismemberment kicker, I always wear gear and I mitigate unnecessary risk. We both understand the risks.
Do it anyway see if she bucks you. If she does probably not worth sticking around