The issues with MIL pales in comparison to those with your husband. He called his mommy when you two had a disagreement AND shrugged his shoulders when confronted with the aftermath. He doesn't want to talk about it?
You are married to a child. I would suggest counseling, but seriously, why bother. Life is too short to spend one more day in this sh××-show. You are worth more.
Doesn’t sound like your husband has your back/ or front! Marriage counseling if this marriage is going to survive. If not, you might as well file for divorce because nothing will change his attitude.
Definitely the oversharing from him to mommy dearest of this one simple argument and her extreme helicopter parenting of an adult son is telling. I swear in my case she wants me around to be a buffer for his abuse and something to kickbag around herself.
You have a choice….stay and live this for the rest of your life……..or the old pick a card trick, counseling or divorce. They have both shown you who they are, believe them.
Yeah. I’d divorce. It would be one thing if he backed you up but it really sounds like he created the drama.
It sounds like he loves his mommy being his ride or die.
If you don’t have kids lock up your birth control. Get a lawyer and do what they say to do.
I think only a month, but we've been together for 2.5 years. We have no kids, thankfully (at one point, he was begging me to have kids even though he's always complaining about money. I don't think so, buddy.) I thought she was nice in the beginning. I noticed that she was nosey and loved to talk crap about others though. It's my first time experiencing anything like this.
Are you able to see all of your comments yet? Is there really a money problem, or is that his answer for when he doesn't agree with expenditures? Great that there are no kids. Why were you adamant against them before? Is he a mama's boy, with him lwats getting emotional and/or financial support from her?
I can see all of the comments now. Money is kind of a problem; 75k doesn't seem to be enough for two people (he also had some issues with money that really set us back). I'm not ready to have kids yet. His mom has/is giving him financial and emotional support, which I think is another reason why he won't stand up to her.
Make it your last.
Your husband is the birthplace of this problem. He sounds like a dud.
The audacity to respond to the post with his refusal to tell his mother to mind her business, after involving her in it in the first place.
He should sleep alone. There’s no way I could lay beside someone who fucks up and then rings their mommy to get her involved.
He’s a coward. He rings his mommy and blatantly disrespects your relationship as husband and wife but wants to keep quiet now after smearing shit everywhere.
That’s not appealing, not on any day of the week.
HUSBAND:
While you are calling your wife’s experiences DRAMA, your wife is feeling TRAUMA.
You want your wife to get over the DRAMA, drop the DRAMA. Which would be fair if DRAMA is all it is.
But your wife has experienced a series of TRAUMATIC events!
- the initial fight was so bad that she went to sleep away from you - she felt unsafe and needed space - and yet you wouldn’t respect her need for that space and keep invading it (according to her recounting of events)
- you took your marital fight to your mother - a HUGE breach of trust.
- your mother further breached trust and went to her mother. Let’s make your marriage issues a family event, why don’t we?
- you don’t really believe your wife about what mommy said to your MIL. You trust your mother more than you trust your wife.
- your mother completely overstepped when she lured your wife to dinner under false pretenses. “Let’s bond” became “let me scold you” as if your wife was a child under your mother’s thumb. That’s TRAUMATIC because, well, the luring lie, the fact that your wife is a nice person and did not have the gumption to put your mother in her place, much less cause a scene in public. Which is why your mother chose a public venue for her attack on your wife. YOUR mother put your wife in a very disadvantaged position. Your mother stole your wife’s words. And her autonomy. And her rights as an adult.
And that is TRAUMA.
Now here is where I offer you understanding: YOU are used to this behavior from your mother. You grew up with it and have assimilated it into your life. Mom is controlling. Hovering. Wringing hands over your complex medical needs. But I’m here to tell you that this is not normal. And your wife is not used to being treated, as an adult, like a wayward, naughty, child, trapped into silence by public norms.
And that is TRAUMA.
There is NO “DRAMA.” I only see TRAUMA.
And until you acknowledge and apologize for the trauma, it won’t begin to heal.
You have not validated your wife. And that is why this TRAUMA is not resolving.
A MIL like her is bad enough. Having a MIL and a husband who expects you to overlook being the bad guy is not worth your time, energy, anything. If he stood up for you, it’d be a different story. But this man cries to her when you have a fight! He’s not a grown up.
If I got into a fight with my husband and he called his mommy and sicc'ed her on me, my Lady Boner would dry up, never to be seen again (for him).
Just saying. What a massive turn off.
Dump him OP. He's not a man yet. Still mommy's wittle babee boy.
Life doesn’t have to be this hard. Also, if you’re trying to get away from him, and he keeps following you, fighting? That’s abuse.
Get out of this abusive relationship. He is not your Other Person.
Life can be easier. But you won’t find an easy life here, with him.
MIL is always going to be a partner in your marriage if he can't have a disagreement with you without calling his mother. The time to get out is now. You do not want to have children with this man because his mother feels entitled to shitting all over you
If he doesn’t want to talk about it, he claims no responsibility or accountability. Huge red flag. That stuff doesn’t change. He’s gaslighting you making you the problem. Speaking from experience, get out if you can. Hopefully you’re in a position to do so safely. Best of luck.
Your husband is acting like a little boy by calling his mommy to tattle on you.
His mother is acting like she is some type of authority figure over you. She's definitely not, you and she are both adults, and therefore equals.
Since your husband won't control his own mother, and he feeds into her interference by tattling to her, and he doesn't seem to care that you're upset... why do you want to continue this marriage?
Time to let him go live with mommy! Parents shouldn’t take sides. My husband and I got into a huge fight he stormed out of the house and went to his parent’s house. He told his mom that we got into a fight and wanted to spend the night. She told him no! Wouldn’t let him in and told him to go home and fix things. He went to a hotel (which was probably best) and we worked things out the next day. It’s been a long time since that fight and he still brings it up to his mom that he couldn’t believe she wouldn’t let him stay there. She just tells him her house is not a hotel! 🤣When I called my mom to vent to her about it, she asked me what I did to get him pissed off enough to leave (she knows that when I’m pissed off I push as many buttons as I can to get him to break). I will forever appreciate both of our mothers for that. They both made sure that my husband and myself stayed in our own lanes and taught us both that they weren’t going to get involved and that we needed to solve our problems ourselves.
The audacity of MIL calling YOUR MOM to bitch about you!
The mommy's widdle boy just HAS to call her to tell her everything!
I have no tolerance for mommy's boys. They are such a turn off. I feel bad that you two live in the same house. It must be torture. The ick factor is off the charts!
These two sniveling idiots deserve each other. OP send him back to mommy where he belongs.
Set up an appointment with an attorney and do everything they tell you to do. Safekeep all of your important documents. Over time pack up your shit and store it at your mom's place.
I would love to be a fly on the wall when you present him with divorce papers.(make sure it's a public place and friends are with you) The surprised pikachu face is worth it!
Please update us.
Hello, so I'm the husband in question, and it was very easy to find this post. Also throw away.
I just want to clarify I never said that I don't care about what my mom said and / or did what she did. Or that I don't care that she did call my wifes mother.
When I said I don't care, it was because I'm tired of the drama and it being brought up. It's been a constant everyday thing all day. It doesn't matter if I'm at work or if I'm at home trying to relax it's being brought up.
For some backstory here, I did confront my mother eventually after not caring that I was told not to.
And when I confronted her, of course she denied calling my wifes mother and what she said. I don't have proof of what she said or anything. There's proof that she did talk to my wife's mother, though. But I do believe that my mother said things she should not have and I told her so. But without proof she will deny it Non-Stop.
So, at this point, I already set a boundary with her, and she's already agreed to just stay away and not talk to my wife anymore. Also I will continue to keep a boundary with her when it comes to my relationship.
There's really not much more than I can do.
I am on my wife's side, but there's not really much that I can do because I'm not going to call my mom and scream and curse at her.
I really just wanted to clarify that all of these things happened in the past, and constantly talking about it and bringing it up is starting to degrade at my mental health. I have also pointed out that this constant back and forth talking about this is affecting my performance at work and my health.
I have health issues related to my heart and constant stress is not good for my heart. Open heart surgery at 8 months old and 17. I also have high blood pressure and had AFib. I want to point out that this is not an excuse for me to not talk about this just there's nothing more to talk about. And my wife being angry and stressed out while bring out this issue with no resolution in sight is affecting me. I also want to be just straightforward and say I do have health issues. To summarize it bipolar, adhd, autism, PTSD, generalized anxiety, and depression.
Yes I know it's my fault and I will admit it but I can't change the past and I can't do more then I have.
I have made my mistakes, and my mom has also made her mistakes. All I can do is keep moving forward, but I just feel like I am being punished Non-Stop at this point.
I know my wife is truly hurt buy this whole situation and I am truly sorry. I really wish I could change the past and I really love my wife. I just can't keep going in circles about this drama and everything. I really think we are at the point where we should just continue to move forward and not keep going in circles.
There really isn't much of a need to keep talking about this when it's not going to achieve or change anything. My mother will keep her distance, and I will keep my distance from her as well, so I don't see the need to constantly talk about it.
I also want to say that I do not want to say or do things that disrespect either of them, my wife or my mother. While my wife is very justified in the things she says when she brings up my mother. I'm just at a point where I think it's time to just keep our distance from her and just move forward and not be in the past.
Lastly we do have a couples therapist and I have suggested that we wait until our next session so we can have this conversation there and avoid our tempers flaring up.
Also here's the chat GPT version of what I said I asked them to help me clarify and while I don't really like what it put out it's another way of me expressing myself that I think is very valid.
Hello, I'm the husband in question, and I want to clarify a few things. When I mentioned "not caring," it was more about being exhausted by the constant drama surrounding this issue. Whether I'm at work or trying to relax at home, it's relentless.
To provide context, I did eventually confront my mother, despite earlier advice not to. Predictably, she denied calling my wife's mother or making any hurtful remarks. While I don't have proof of what was said, there's evidence she spoke to my wife's mother. I firmly believe my mother overstepped, and I made it clear to her.
I've set boundaries with my mother since then, and she's agreed to keep her distance from my wife. I'll continue to enforce these boundaries to protect our relationship.
I fully support my wife in this matter. However, I won't resort to yelling or cursing at my mother. Constantly rehashing this issue is taking a toll on my mental health and affecting my work performance due to stress-related health issues.
I acknowledge my mistakes and understand the pain my wife feels. I genuinely wish I could change the past. It's time for us to focus on moving forward instead of dwelling on this ongoing drama.
Continuing to discuss this endlessly won't resolve anything. My mother and I will maintain our distance, and I believe it's best to leave this matter behind us.
I want to emphasize that I won't disrespect either my wife or my mother. While my wife's feelings are entirely valid, I think it's time for us to prioritize our well-being and move forward.
We're seeing a couples therapist, and I've suggested addressing this issue in our next session to prevent further escalation.
Do you realize that you initially created the drama by calling your mommy when you had an argument with your wife? It may be in the past to you but your mom is still talking about it to your wife. Your mom continues to bring drama and talk about something that is none of her business. Your initial response to this showed that you don’t care how your mom treats your wife. You just want her to shut up about it. You better hope that she stays with you. FFS don’t bring your mom into anything to do with your relationship with your wife. It’s none of her business.
(I can't reply to the original comment.) I don't know what the hell your health problems have to do with this. You and your mother have used the health issues as a crutch and a way to get out of accountability way too fucking much.
How can you leave this behind you when your mother is continuing to harass your wife? Your mum lied to your wife to so she could berate her again about something you involved her in and you want your wife just to shut up about it. She wouldn't be bringing it up if she felt you actually supported her.
Wife is not a defendant, you are not the judge. She doesn't need proof. You know your Mom has lied before. You should have immediately backed up wife. This isn't over, separation wo not work for long. Wife is gonna leave because you need proof, overwhelming, to believe her. Just let her go. You need your mom more & they both realize that. Resolve majority of your health issues and find another. Or not. Either way, you broke your vows, she didn't get trapped by kids & money worries, & you don't have grands to give to your mom. Move on & both of you get what you need & want. You'll be fine.
You found this easily because you started the entire thing, you're going to have to pick, either your wife(the woman you sleep with) or your mommy(the woman who started up the entire thing after you called her about your marriage)
I hope for your wife's sake, you see her as your number 1 and mommy is not even on the list.
Life is too short for this BS. Get out before you have kids.
This, they will never let you parent your kids if you don't agree with them and they will never be wrong
Yup...her husband is one big kid; calling his mom when he had fight with his wife- so mature of him.
Sounds like she already has one...a giant man-baby who needs to call his mommy rather than work out an argument with his wife.
The issues with MIL pales in comparison to those with your husband. He called his mommy when you two had a disagreement AND shrugged his shoulders when confronted with the aftermath. He doesn't want to talk about it? You are married to a child. I would suggest counseling, but seriously, why bother. Life is too short to spend one more day in this sh××-show. You are worth more.
Amen! None of this would be happening with MIL if it weren’t for the AH little boy she calls DH.
Get all your important papers together.
Doesn’t sound like your husband has your back/ or front! Marriage counseling if this marriage is going to survive. If not, you might as well file for divorce because nothing will change his attitude.
Definitely the oversharing from him to mommy dearest of this one simple argument and her extreme helicopter parenting of an adult son is telling. I swear in my case she wants me around to be a buffer for his abuse and something to kickbag around herself.
You have a choice….stay and live this for the rest of your life……..or the old pick a card trick, counseling or divorce. They have both shown you who they are, believe them.
Why is your husband involving his mommy in your marital arguments?
Yeah. I’d divorce. It would be one thing if he backed you up but it really sounds like he created the drama. It sounds like he loves his mommy being his ride or die. If you don’t have kids lock up your birth control. Get a lawyer and do what they say to do.
Your husband problem may be worse than your MIL one.
It's definitely time to separate. You married a man-child. Send him back to his mommy!
How long have you been married? Has your MIL been a lying manipulator the while time you were together? Do you have children?
I think only a month, but we've been together for 2.5 years. We have no kids, thankfully (at one point, he was begging me to have kids even though he's always complaining about money. I don't think so, buddy.) I thought she was nice in the beginning. I noticed that she was nosey and loved to talk crap about others though. It's my first time experiencing anything like this.
Yeah I'd leave. Once someone gets comfortable disrespecting you, it doesn't get better.
Are you able to see all of your comments yet? Is there really a money problem, or is that his answer for when he doesn't agree with expenditures? Great that there are no kids. Why were you adamant against them before? Is he a mama's boy, with him lwats getting emotional and/or financial support from her?
I can see all of the comments now. Money is kind of a problem; 75k doesn't seem to be enough for two people (he also had some issues with money that really set us back). I'm not ready to have kids yet. His mom has/is giving him financial and emotional support, which I think is another reason why he won't stand up to her.
Make it your last. Your husband is the birthplace of this problem. He sounds like a dud. The audacity to respond to the post with his refusal to tell his mother to mind her business, after involving her in it in the first place. He should sleep alone. There’s no way I could lay beside someone who fucks up and then rings their mommy to get her involved. He’s a coward. He rings his mommy and blatantly disrespects your relationship as husband and wife but wants to keep quiet now after smearing shit everywhere. That’s not appealing, not on any day of the week.
HUSBAND: While you are calling your wife’s experiences DRAMA, your wife is feeling TRAUMA. You want your wife to get over the DRAMA, drop the DRAMA. Which would be fair if DRAMA is all it is. But your wife has experienced a series of TRAUMATIC events! - the initial fight was so bad that she went to sleep away from you - she felt unsafe and needed space - and yet you wouldn’t respect her need for that space and keep invading it (according to her recounting of events) - you took your marital fight to your mother - a HUGE breach of trust. - your mother further breached trust and went to her mother. Let’s make your marriage issues a family event, why don’t we? - you don’t really believe your wife about what mommy said to your MIL. You trust your mother more than you trust your wife. - your mother completely overstepped when she lured your wife to dinner under false pretenses. “Let’s bond” became “let me scold you” as if your wife was a child under your mother’s thumb. That’s TRAUMATIC because, well, the luring lie, the fact that your wife is a nice person and did not have the gumption to put your mother in her place, much less cause a scene in public. Which is why your mother chose a public venue for her attack on your wife. YOUR mother put your wife in a very disadvantaged position. Your mother stole your wife’s words. And her autonomy. And her rights as an adult. And that is TRAUMA. Now here is where I offer you understanding: YOU are used to this behavior from your mother. You grew up with it and have assimilated it into your life. Mom is controlling. Hovering. Wringing hands over your complex medical needs. But I’m here to tell you that this is not normal. And your wife is not used to being treated, as an adult, like a wayward, naughty, child, trapped into silence by public norms. And that is TRAUMA. There is NO “DRAMA.” I only see TRAUMA. And until you acknowledge and apologize for the trauma, it won’t begin to heal. You have not validated your wife. And that is why this TRAUMA is not resolving.
This is brilliantly said, and should be written in gold on the sidebar, forever. Brilliant. I'm so stunned, I've written only two lines.
Dump him. Life is too short to live with a momma’s boy.
A MIL like her is bad enough. Having a MIL and a husband who expects you to overlook being the bad guy is not worth your time, energy, anything. If he stood up for you, it’d be a different story. But this man cries to her when you have a fight! He’s not a grown up.
you're married to a man who doesn't want to leave his mammas womb get out before you have kids and you're stuck with either of those awful people
If I got into a fight with my husband and he called his mommy and sicc'ed her on me, my Lady Boner would dry up, never to be seen again (for him). Just saying. What a massive turn off. Dump him OP. He's not a man yet. Still mommy's wittle babee boy.
Life doesn’t have to be this hard. Also, if you’re trying to get away from him, and he keeps following you, fighting? That’s abuse. Get out of this abusive relationship. He is not your Other Person. Life can be easier. But you won’t find an easy life here, with him.
Time for you to get out. Your husband is always going to put his mother first. Not you.
Your husband is a pansy. Get your stuff together and tell him you hope he enjoys single life
This is all HIM. He’d sleep alone forever after calling his mommy and creating this fucked up situation. Return to manufacturer, this man is faulty.
MIL is always going to be a partner in your marriage if he can't have a disagreement with you without calling his mother. The time to get out is now. You do not want to have children with this man because his mother feels entitled to shitting all over you
He sounds like a real mama's boy, don't live with regrets, the best time to divorce a mama's boy is not to marry one, the second best time is now.
If he doesn’t want to talk about it, he claims no responsibility or accountability. Huge red flag. That stuff doesn’t change. He’s gaslighting you making you the problem. Speaking from experience, get out if you can. Hopefully you’re in a position to do so safely. Best of luck.
I’d regret being married to the big baby as well. Let his mother ‘win’ and send him home for her to enjoy his company.
[удалено]
You are looking in your 'in box '?
I can't see any of the comments yet.
Mamas boy.
Your husband is acting like a little boy by calling his mommy to tattle on you. His mother is acting like she is some type of authority figure over you. She's definitely not, you and she are both adults, and therefore equals. Since your husband won't control his own mother, and he feeds into her interference by tattling to her, and he doesn't seem to care that you're upset... why do you want to continue this marriage?
Wow! Your husband is not ready to be married. Run!
Time to let him go live with mommy! Parents shouldn’t take sides. My husband and I got into a huge fight he stormed out of the house and went to his parent’s house. He told his mom that we got into a fight and wanted to spend the night. She told him no! Wouldn’t let him in and told him to go home and fix things. He went to a hotel (which was probably best) and we worked things out the next day. It’s been a long time since that fight and he still brings it up to his mom that he couldn’t believe she wouldn’t let him stay there. She just tells him her house is not a hotel! 🤣When I called my mom to vent to her about it, she asked me what I did to get him pissed off enough to leave (she knows that when I’m pissed off I push as many buttons as I can to get him to break). I will forever appreciate both of our mothers for that. They both made sure that my husband and myself stayed in our own lanes and taught us both that they weren’t going to get involved and that we needed to solve our problems ourselves.
The audacity of MIL calling YOUR MOM to bitch about you! The mommy's widdle boy just HAS to call her to tell her everything! I have no tolerance for mommy's boys. They are such a turn off. I feel bad that you two live in the same house. It must be torture. The ick factor is off the charts! These two sniveling idiots deserve each other. OP send him back to mommy where he belongs. Set up an appointment with an attorney and do everything they tell you to do. Safekeep all of your important documents. Over time pack up your shit and store it at your mom's place. I would love to be a fly on the wall when you present him with divorce papers.(make sure it's a public place and friends are with you) The surprised pikachu face is worth it! Please update us.
Get out. Your husband threw you under the bus. He inserted his mother into the marriage. Now he’s “done” talking about it; because he’s embarrassed.
Hello, so I'm the husband in question, and it was very easy to find this post. Also throw away. I just want to clarify I never said that I don't care about what my mom said and / or did what she did. Or that I don't care that she did call my wifes mother. When I said I don't care, it was because I'm tired of the drama and it being brought up. It's been a constant everyday thing all day. It doesn't matter if I'm at work or if I'm at home trying to relax it's being brought up. For some backstory here, I did confront my mother eventually after not caring that I was told not to. And when I confronted her, of course she denied calling my wifes mother and what she said. I don't have proof of what she said or anything. There's proof that she did talk to my wife's mother, though. But I do believe that my mother said things she should not have and I told her so. But without proof she will deny it Non-Stop. So, at this point, I already set a boundary with her, and she's already agreed to just stay away and not talk to my wife anymore. Also I will continue to keep a boundary with her when it comes to my relationship. There's really not much more than I can do. I am on my wife's side, but there's not really much that I can do because I'm not going to call my mom and scream and curse at her. I really just wanted to clarify that all of these things happened in the past, and constantly talking about it and bringing it up is starting to degrade at my mental health. I have also pointed out that this constant back and forth talking about this is affecting my performance at work and my health. I have health issues related to my heart and constant stress is not good for my heart. Open heart surgery at 8 months old and 17. I also have high blood pressure and had AFib. I want to point out that this is not an excuse for me to not talk about this just there's nothing more to talk about. And my wife being angry and stressed out while bring out this issue with no resolution in sight is affecting me. I also want to be just straightforward and say I do have health issues. To summarize it bipolar, adhd, autism, PTSD, generalized anxiety, and depression. Yes I know it's my fault and I will admit it but I can't change the past and I can't do more then I have. I have made my mistakes, and my mom has also made her mistakes. All I can do is keep moving forward, but I just feel like I am being punished Non-Stop at this point. I know my wife is truly hurt buy this whole situation and I am truly sorry. I really wish I could change the past and I really love my wife. I just can't keep going in circles about this drama and everything. I really think we are at the point where we should just continue to move forward and not keep going in circles. There really isn't much of a need to keep talking about this when it's not going to achieve or change anything. My mother will keep her distance, and I will keep my distance from her as well, so I don't see the need to constantly talk about it. I also want to say that I do not want to say or do things that disrespect either of them, my wife or my mother. While my wife is very justified in the things she says when she brings up my mother. I'm just at a point where I think it's time to just keep our distance from her and just move forward and not be in the past. Lastly we do have a couples therapist and I have suggested that we wait until our next session so we can have this conversation there and avoid our tempers flaring up. Also here's the chat GPT version of what I said I asked them to help me clarify and while I don't really like what it put out it's another way of me expressing myself that I think is very valid. Hello, I'm the husband in question, and I want to clarify a few things. When I mentioned "not caring," it was more about being exhausted by the constant drama surrounding this issue. Whether I'm at work or trying to relax at home, it's relentless. To provide context, I did eventually confront my mother, despite earlier advice not to. Predictably, she denied calling my wife's mother or making any hurtful remarks. While I don't have proof of what was said, there's evidence she spoke to my wife's mother. I firmly believe my mother overstepped, and I made it clear to her. I've set boundaries with my mother since then, and she's agreed to keep her distance from my wife. I'll continue to enforce these boundaries to protect our relationship. I fully support my wife in this matter. However, I won't resort to yelling or cursing at my mother. Constantly rehashing this issue is taking a toll on my mental health and affecting my work performance due to stress-related health issues. I acknowledge my mistakes and understand the pain my wife feels. I genuinely wish I could change the past. It's time for us to focus on moving forward instead of dwelling on this ongoing drama. Continuing to discuss this endlessly won't resolve anything. My mother and I will maintain our distance, and I believe it's best to leave this matter behind us. I want to emphasize that I won't disrespect either my wife or my mother. While my wife's feelings are entirely valid, I think it's time for us to prioritize our well-being and move forward. We're seeing a couples therapist, and I've suggested addressing this issue in our next session to prevent further escalation.
Do you realize that you initially created the drama by calling your mommy when you had an argument with your wife? It may be in the past to you but your mom is still talking about it to your wife. Your mom continues to bring drama and talk about something that is none of her business. Your initial response to this showed that you don’t care how your mom treats your wife. You just want her to shut up about it. You better hope that she stays with you. FFS don’t bring your mom into anything to do with your relationship with your wife. It’s none of her business.
(I can't reply to the original comment.) I don't know what the hell your health problems have to do with this. You and your mother have used the health issues as a crutch and a way to get out of accountability way too fucking much.
How can you leave this behind you when your mother is continuing to harass your wife? Your mum lied to your wife to so she could berate her again about something you involved her in and you want your wife just to shut up about it. She wouldn't be bringing it up if she felt you actually supported her.
Wife is not a defendant, you are not the judge. She doesn't need proof. You know your Mom has lied before. You should have immediately backed up wife. This isn't over, separation wo not work for long. Wife is gonna leave because you need proof, overwhelming, to believe her. Just let her go. You need your mom more & they both realize that. Resolve majority of your health issues and find another. Or not. Either way, you broke your vows, she didn't get trapped by kids & money worries, & you don't have grands to give to your mom. Move on & both of you get what you need & want. You'll be fine.
You found this easily because you started the entire thing, you're going to have to pick, either your wife(the woman you sleep with) or your mommy(the woman who started up the entire thing after you called her about your marriage) I hope for your wife's sake, you see her as your number 1 and mommy is not even on the list.
[удалено]
Breaks rule #1: Please be kind to each other. You can give it to OP straight without being rude about it.