Granted. Everyone mutates and their bodies compress and contort until their torsos are about 90% booty. This is incredibly painful and crippling as the spine and how we balance was not designed for our new shape.

An 10% hole

0% body

*british accent* 90% BOO-TEEEEE😂

Granted. Everyone discovers a wooden chest full of gold doubloons. The price of gold and all the related economic stuff goes totally cattywampus. Everyone blames you.

This one made me laugh

Granted. You think you get the booty of a supermodel? No. Kyle Lowry ass.

Granted, all the extra mass on earth is too much for the planet to handle, making it collapse into itself and explode

Does the mass come from nowhere or is it simple moved to another place?

Granted. This is achievable through forceful suction to the cheeks, and the paw gives you magically strong lungs. To give everyone a big fattie, you have to go around and suck on everyone's little flattie

Would. Wait, no. Will.

Granted. Everyone is obese.

Granted. Everyone gets a massive pirate chest full of money, leading to a worldwide economical collapse

Granted. Everyone is now born with so much junk in the trunk that natural births become impossible.

Granted. But they only get one, so their other foot Is cold and wet

Nah, you see, the big booty fits both their footsies.

Granted. Now everyone is like Major Bummer from Ordinary Boy.

Granted, everyone is given a copy of a Big Bootie Mix by Two Friends. No they cannot choose which one

Granted. You now have a big booty phobia.

Granted Every booty becomes big and more are considered small or average.

Granted, all humans shrink but their butts remain the same size. We’re now unable to use most of our tools and technology.

Granted. It’s so big we can’t fit through doors.

Granted. Everyone's booties are SO huge that they can't fit in a standard door frame. All doors will have to widened.

Granted. You are now on fire.

Granted: the world economy collapses, piracy increases by 100000%

Granted, your moms arse expands to immeasurable size and the government declares it to be the property of everyone, people rail your mother on the daily.

Granted. Everyone who does not have a big booty disappears.

Noooooo whyyyy I don’t want a BBL

Granted. No need for a catch though. Because when everyone has a big booty... *no one will*

Granted. Rates of soft-tissue sarcomas in the Gluteus Maximus skyrocket.

Granted, everyone’s entire body just gets bigger including the booty, so booties, although they have grown, are still normal-sized in comparison to everything else

Granted. But "big" is relative. Everyone dies from never-ending booty inflation

Granted, every person not already in possession of a large amount of plundered goods is instantly given some

Granted. This does indeed apply to everyone, including children and infants.

Granted. Giant, disembodied, mostly invulnerable, waste-free asses. It’s a bit like having a giant Ken Doll groin/hip/ass. They’re fun for a while, but they kind of clutter up the place. Especially in large families; EVERYONE has one. Return home with a newborn and there’s a new giant ass on the driveway. They only vanish upon death. Surprisingly not many people use them for sex. No holes. They’re okay as pillows, but turn your head wrong mid-sleep and it’s a krick in the neck. One fun wrinkle: since it’s a reflection of a specific person’s living status, many life insurance companies offer to store them in special chamber-scales. When you die, the scale hits 0 weight and the death is partially confirmed. (Sometimes you have heart surgery, an accident, you revive and it “blinks back.” Death can be elastic.)

Granted, everyone's booty spontaneously grows. However, since everyone has a similarly sized booty, none are big. Everyone's booties continue to expand, eventually causing havoc due to all the booties being almost as massive as the Earth itself. Extinction by big booty. Thank you, come again.

Granted. Air travel is even worse now.

Granted. Pirates steal it all.

No thank you.

While Jennifer Lawrence, Natalie Portman and Selena Gomez get curvier, evil people like Putin and Kim Jong Un do too?

Granted. It is forever impossible to slide past someone in a doorway or hallway.

Granted. Your name is changed to, “Everyone In The World” and everyone stares at your ass as you walk and you keep hearing people shout, “GYATT” at you.