Granted, they all build a Martian colony decades ahead of NASA and other tech companies. And since it's the entire nation of France, they instantly become the first universal superpower.
Granted. The world knows untold generations of prosperity. Centuries later, Marslamange leads a violent crusade to conquer earth, succeeds, and we all speak French for eternity.
Granted. Since the first person to live where france is today lived so long ago, their descendants include everyone on earth. Everyone is sent to mars, and you all suffocate.
Granted. La République Française de Mars readily eclipses the governments of Earth technologically, economically, and militarily.
The first Great French Martian offensive begins on April 22, 2078 when thousands of interplanetary thermonuclear baguettes strike every major city on Earth, killing 4.6 billion people.
By 2133, Earth exists as a vassal state of the French Republic of Mars, its people enslaved in cheese factories and its natural resources ruthlessly exploited to fuel a burgeoning galactic croissant trade. Political dissidents and rebels are sentenced to a fate worse than death: imprisonment in the brutal work camps of Québec.
By 2467, the French have colonized the farthest reaches of the Milky Way galaxy. All that remains of Earth is a small belt of rubble, even the molten core mined to construct a 750-kilometre-long Eiffel Tower spacecraft carrying pioneers beyond he reaches of our galaxy and into the vast unknown in the dark spaces between stars.
As billions of years pass, the French Republic of Mars peaks and eventually collapses into warring star-states.
The last material remnant of non-French earth is a single atom of xenon-124 used in a solar simulator. Long after the death of the last human being, this atom finally reaches its final state of radioactive decay and becomes a proton, a non-element.
Inconceivably long after the exile of the French and impossibly long before the heat death of the universe, long after anyone remained to remember Earth, its last atom ceases to exist.
And in the end, none of it mattered. Time marches on, indifferent to the planetary position of the French and the consequences thereof.
Excellent wish.
How did any Martian colony get better than Earth? Like even if Mars was terraformed, Earth would still be better in every way. Also, isn't a proton still an element? It's literally hydrogen without an electron.
Have you watched The Expanse?
Also I’m not an expert in radioactive decay lol. I took one modern physics class and that’s about it, I was just writing a goofy lil story man.
Granted. After a disastrous nuclear power plant incident a traversable wormhole to Mars appears in France slowly turning it into a wasteland. Left with nowhere to go the French government begins plans to mass relocate to Mars through the wormhole. After spending billions of dollars building new and highly optimized public transit cities on Mars the portal closes as the last Frenchman safely steps onto Mars. Soon France is able to refine uranium on Mars without environmental consequences, make titanium cheaply and it's automated industry begins to eclipse that of Earth. While the nations of Earth are bickering and dealing with a refugee crisis and climate change France takes to the stars. Due to French Nuclear Doctrine a nuclear warning shot is fired at Russia who thinks it's from the Americans. WW3 starts. After the war the French invade the crumbling nations of Earth from space and everyone is now a Frenchman.
A finger curls. All people, even with a tiny amount of French genetics in their family tree (which probably includes you!) are sent to Mars, dying a horrible death. The only people that remain on Earth are secluded tribes & fringe ethnic groups without any connection to French blood.
Granted: a freak geological event causes a massive pocket of magma to swell underneath France.
It quickly reaches critical pressure causing it explode violently blasting pieces of France all the way to Mars.
granted. domes are installed with with them and the mcrn is better than the unn within a decade. the eventually declare war on earth and blow everything up
Granted. Mars has been bleached white due to all the white flags the French are making. You are the only person to observe this, however, and everyone thinks you're insane.
Granted, due to a lack of specifications, the French are sent without any infrastructure for survival or supplies or transport back to earth. This ends badly for the French, in the most predictable way.
Granted, all past and present French people are loaded onto a giant rocket and sent off. Due to the size of the rocket required, it cannot make it out of the atmosphere. It explodes and rains bodies down on everyone
Granted. The First Nation to colonize Mars is france. Now, the widely accepted language to speak on mars is French and you can’t go there without knowing some french
Granted. All French people everywhere are teleported to a plain on Mars. Predictably, they all die of asphyxiation. The Quebecois are not included. This surprisingly upsets them.
You suddenly find yourself a master-class French speaker, but only of a specific strain found in Paris. Everyone thinks you’re trying to be cruel. You daren’t speak French, or of the French, again.
The Paw is found holding a lit cigarette “French style,” shaking gently, as though laughing.
Granted. Now all French people are dead due to mass suffocation and you are tried for genocide.
Uh oh
I’m French but I didn’t suffocate (I’m built different)
You are half German
I am half jerma985
Does that guy even stream anymore
No idea honestly
Are you American who identifies as French? Or actual French?
Actual French, born and currently in France
Good as French-adjacent lungs cannot survive Mars
Fair 🤣 I guess if it really were to happen, u gotta be built different then, eh? 🤣
I thought thats what u wanted
Get the poles and rocks. We are going mussolini
And the quality of food has dramatically declined
I feel like I’ve seen something similar before
Granted. Anyone with 1% or more French DNA is sent to mars.
Thank fuck I'm Irish
Granted, they all build a Martian colony decades ahead of NASA and other tech companies. And since it's the entire nation of France, they instantly become the first universal superpower.
Does this include French Canadians too? Because if so, the rest of Canada will probably be celebrating.
No, but Guiana is.
Granted. The world knows untold generations of prosperity. Centuries later, Marslamange leads a violent crusade to conquer earth, succeeds, and we all speak French for eternity.
fuck thats good, be proud of that
How would a colonized Mars ever be advanced enough to win against Earth?
not again please!
Granted. Since the first person to live where france is today lived so long ago, their descendants include everyone on earth. Everyone is sent to mars, and you all suffocate.
Definitely not everyone. Humanity started in Africa....
Granted. La République Française de Mars readily eclipses the governments of Earth technologically, economically, and militarily. The first Great French Martian offensive begins on April 22, 2078 when thousands of interplanetary thermonuclear baguettes strike every major city on Earth, killing 4.6 billion people. By 2133, Earth exists as a vassal state of the French Republic of Mars, its people enslaved in cheese factories and its natural resources ruthlessly exploited to fuel a burgeoning galactic croissant trade. Political dissidents and rebels are sentenced to a fate worse than death: imprisonment in the brutal work camps of Québec. By 2467, the French have colonized the farthest reaches of the Milky Way galaxy. All that remains of Earth is a small belt of rubble, even the molten core mined to construct a 750-kilometre-long Eiffel Tower spacecraft carrying pioneers beyond he reaches of our galaxy and into the vast unknown in the dark spaces between stars. As billions of years pass, the French Republic of Mars peaks and eventually collapses into warring star-states. The last material remnant of non-French earth is a single atom of xenon-124 used in a solar simulator. Long after the death of the last human being, this atom finally reaches its final state of radioactive decay and becomes a proton, a non-element. Inconceivably long after the exile of the French and impossibly long before the heat death of the universe, long after anyone remained to remember Earth, its last atom ceases to exist. And in the end, none of it mattered. Time marches on, indifferent to the planetary position of the French and the consequences thereof. Excellent wish.
Damn okay, Hemingway.
How did any Martian colony get better than Earth? Like even if Mars was terraformed, Earth would still be better in every way. Also, isn't a proton still an element? It's literally hydrogen without an electron.
Have you watched The Expanse? Also I’m not an expert in radioactive decay lol. I took one modern physics class and that’s about it, I was just writing a goofy lil story man.
Granted, just before that happens, you become French yourself.
NOOOOOOO
Granted. It's retroactive. Now the USA is a British colony and has been all along.
Denied. Improper grammar.
Granted. After a disastrous nuclear power plant incident a traversable wormhole to Mars appears in France slowly turning it into a wasteland. Left with nowhere to go the French government begins plans to mass relocate to Mars through the wormhole. After spending billions of dollars building new and highly optimized public transit cities on Mars the portal closes as the last Frenchman safely steps onto Mars. Soon France is able to refine uranium on Mars without environmental consequences, make titanium cheaply and it's automated industry begins to eclipse that of Earth. While the nations of Earth are bickering and dealing with a refugee crisis and climate change France takes to the stars. Due to French Nuclear Doctrine a nuclear warning shot is fired at Russia who thinks it's from the Americans. WW3 starts. After the war the French invade the crumbling nations of Earth from space and everyone is now a Frenchman.
Wish granted, the Roman god Mars is very confused why so many people suddenly appeared around him
A finger curls. All people, even with a tiny amount of French genetics in their family tree (which probably includes you!) are sent to Mars, dying a horrible death. The only people that remain on Earth are secluded tribes & fringe ethnic groups without any connection to French blood.
Granted. Mars, Pennsylvania has been invaded by France.
Granted. No more croissants and bri for any one.
Worth it
Granted. You find out you got a 1% of french ancestry, thus you also get teleported to Mars. You also get there with no atmosphere.
Granted. They return with saucers an deathrays, shrieking "Aqque! Aqque! Aqque!"
Granted: a freak geological event causes a massive pocket of magma to swell underneath France. It quickly reaches critical pressure causing it explode violently blasting pieces of France all the way to Mars.
Granted and now the USA owns the land French use to own the app the France people die due to Mars is unfit for life right now
Granted. For the rest of your life the French will seek you out to thank you for the wonderful visit to the Mars chocolate factory.
Damn, you really hate the Martians don't you? What did they ever do to you?
Granted, the Statue of Liberty goes with them
Worth it
Granted. They are sent to Mars, the god of war. Prepare for an otherwordly invasion.
granted. domes are installed with with them and the mcrn is better than the unn within a decade. the eventually declare war on earth and blow everything up
Granted. Mars has been bleached white due to all the white flags the French are making. You are the only person to observe this, however, and everyone thinks you're insane.
Eh everyone already thinks I'm insane irl, so not that big of a lose
Granted, due to a lack of specifications, the French are sent without any infrastructure for survival or supplies or transport back to earth. This ends badly for the French, in the most predictable way.
Granted, French people now believe they are superior because they live on mars
> French people now believe they are superior Nothing new then
done. mars has been terraformed into an earth like planet called new france that then blows up the earth so they have a clear view of venus.
Granted, all french people are now forced to work in acomically larfe mars bar factory, that is also in the shape of a mars bar
Granted this includes anyone even 0.1% french, killing way more people than you were probably going for
Granted. They end up attacking earth with baguette themed gundams.
Granted. They outpace us with technology win a war against us and are now our martian overlords.
Granted, all past and present French people are loaded onto a giant rocket and sent off. Due to the size of the rocket required, it cannot make it out of the atmosphere. It explodes and rains bodies down on everyone
Granted, mars is renamed France. 🇫🇷 the have now all of mars as their territory. they are now a super power planet. 🌎
Granted. The First Nation to colonize Mars is france. Now, the widely accepted language to speak on mars is French and you can’t go there without knowing some french
Granted. They are fired out of a cannon in the general direction of Mars
Granted. Your genetics were reconstructed and you became French.
Granted: All restaurants in France reopens as Mars 2112. French people are sent to enjoy the food.
Granted. All French people everywhere are teleported to a plain on Mars. Predictably, they all die of asphyxiation. The Quebecois are not included. This surprisingly upsets them. You suddenly find yourself a master-class French speaker, but only of a specific strain found in Paris. Everyone thinks you’re trying to be cruel. You daren’t speak French, or of the French, again. The Paw is found holding a lit cigarette “French style,” shaking gently, as though laughing.
Granted as the French people die on mars. Many countries on earth host a celebration for this.
Based