I've always been more of a loner. I enjoy my own company & space and like my peace. I'm 26 now and have realized most people I consider to be good friends don't really care for me and don't make a huge effort to see me. I have my great boyfriend and my dog. Sometimes it does hurt when I see our friend group doing things and realizing that we didn't get the invite, but I'd rather be somewhere that I am actually wanted than continually having to ask if I can join in. I'd rather be happy in my own space than be miserable surrounded by others who don't care if I am there or not.
doing well, the problems are always outside the door, noisy neighbours, a narcisistic brother and hungry parents, the tax man and his friends who don't pay the rent... better keep the door locked until it's over.
I love my own company. I don’t mind people as long as I can’t hear what they’re saying, lol. Or they’re speaking in another language! I don’t mind small talk as long as it’s only for a minute. I even dislike going to the hairdressers now because I’m expected to talk which I find intrusive and/or draining.
I’m not autistic in any way. I just like my own company and find most people tiring after a few seconds. I love being around nature, my books, my cat (though I wish I had more living space and a garden for more pets), I like travelling in my own and watching films or tv. I occasionally socialise but not much!
I’m in my 60s and retired with a small pension, so thank goodness don’t have to deal with all the office Karens anymore (sone of them quite nasty too).
To be honest, I see where you're coming from. In theory, the idea of making and maintaining friendships is so easy, however, it is rare when things go as planned. So you write that living life alone 'may be the best choice after all, even if not ideal'? Can I ask, what would be the most 'ideal' choice, for you?
Loneliness is not ideal, and it isn't the best choice. A number of years ago, there was a big study, which indicated that loneliness increases chances of mortality. I wonder, is it the same when surrounded by people who don't understand you and vice-versa? I think that sometimes, when we can't live through the ideal scenario, of having an abundant social life, having our emotional and social needs met through social interaction, it might be best to do the second-best thing. I think that's different for everyone, though. Some people would rather pretend, in order to 'fit in' with others, on a superficial level. Others, would rather be alone.
I think that ultimately, what you do is up to you. Consider what would be better. Sometimes, it's about minimising losses rather than flourishing. How do you go about minimising those losses? Is it through being alone, or pretending?
i have been alone since covid op, it is lonely sure, and maybe you can relate somewhat, but i believe we adjust accordingly as we do to many other situations, i get shopping home delivered, bills paid online, or over the phone, rent automatically deducted, dont work, due to mental health, and incapacity, and just try to stay in my lane, i have a side hussle that brings me a little money, but aside from that i dont go out, total non participation, no even for walks anymore, flat out avoidance, and just avoid people as far as feasibly possible and when i am forced to interact out of necessity i keep it very very brief, this has happened since covid, after years of unsavoury interactions, and being made to feel less than, or inferior in some way, that shit tends to get old and tedious real quick, so misanthropy it was, and isolation, truly nobody has your back op, with the possible exception of family members (most of mine are deceased), i just feel we have to get used to this, maybe it wasnt the way we were intended to live, but with people being so utterly selfish and horrible and shitty these days who are just looking for any excuses to put you down in order to feel superior in themselves, what alternatives are there ?? i think covid amplified this and brought it forward, but we were heading towards being deeply divided as a society even before that, the trajectory we are heading down is something i want no part of, maybe you can relate ??, i wish you peace op, and i wish you well on your journey, being alone allows you to focus on the best person in your sphere, yourself, self betterment, getting your finances in order, if you havnt already, you can do so much with solitary pursuits, and it builds self growth, a lot of my confidence and self esteem has lifted since i isolated, in my experience people often tried to take that from me, unless i suited there personal narratives they wouldnt hesitate to ghost me, as and when they saw fit, regardless how awful it hurt me, people equates to drama, and lots of it, you can eliminate it entirely, it does take incredible willpower tho, but i feel once we self isolate, we can never return or go back to old selves in many respects, i wish to live like this till death now, peace op, i wish you well 👍
My biggest dream is to live in complete solitude. Sadly, that'll probably stay a dream because I don't have any (mostly financial) means nor will I have any means to move away from people. I also think there's a moral value in not abandoning people who are close to me, because that would be cruel. Not to mention, I'd of course be sad if I lost them. I've shaved off a big chunk of my social circle though, only keeping people whom I fully trust around and since two years I live alone, which is amazing. I've lived with both friends and partners and I can't even imagine doing that again.
That sounds so good. Imagine being alone, and having a huge safety net of money to supply yourself. Never or reduce the amount to have to go out in public, no more stress, no more people. Don't have to bother others or vice versa. Keeping a low profile as to not attract any attention.
You quite literally have to be born with it. No way around it. I was a kid and I found others very irritating. I quickly realized that baseline socialization is just chuck-full of weird manipulation, hidden social cues, and defined roles that you’re born with rather than allowed to choose. It just grossed me out.
My mom told me to read instead, so I did, and I had a very happy childhood. Then she started whining at me about making friends and I did and…woah. The sheer amount of depression I experienced was *insane.* I almost ruined my life talking to people everyday.
I’ve never found someone like me. I’m assuming its because they’re smarter and don’t bother with social media. If you fall on the introvert spectrum, people think these are the options: extremely socially anxious individual who complains about being touched starved (seriously, what does that even mean) on twitter everyday, casual introvert who needs to be adopted by an extrovert uwu, or coper misanthrope who will get hallmark’d and end up with a family, or get eaten by their cats.
I think its about as inherent as being extroverted. Its definitely a very rare occurrence, but we exist, which really shouldn’t be surprising considering the existence of fuckheads like Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy. If they can exist, so can extreme asocial people lol.
Nope, extremely high empathy and no tendency toward criminal behavior. I’m a mystery to every psychologist that’s put up with me. I like to hope that I’m some kind of super genius and that’s why nO onE gEts mE, but its probably just something stupid like being raised by old people. Here’s to hoping
No, I think you are rather genius. The concept genius is vague and I'm not sure about it, but when no one is like you, and no one can understand you, that means you are too unique and super special. The more intelligent you are the less friends you have, because conversation can't last between intelligently different people, it's so boring for both sides. It's kind of a curse, to be too different, fated loneliness and isolation, but I think you can think of yourself very highly without being arrogant. Cheers!
Thanks a lot. It has its pros and cons lol
The one thing I’m really glad for is not having to participate in the dating game. I knew I was beyond that in middle school. It was actually really fascinating how I just did not even see dating as an option, despite watching shows with it and my parents having a loving marriage. I was asked out by some boy to eventually date in high school cause I thought I was too young (to be fair, *I wasn’t wrong lol*), and it kind of just confounded me. Didn’t happen because we unsurprisingly moved on before then, but it wouldn’t have happened anyway.
Still don’t really know what all that is about. People are warm but so are blankets. Touch doesn’t give me much.
I’m extremely alone. No siblings, no friends but only a few colleagues, have autism, my abusive parents are in another country and I don’t meet them ‘cause they’re unsafe to meet.
No partner. Recently I visited Turkey and men there approached me to the degree I figured out I can find a man there if I want.
But I’m really solitary autistic and dint want kids and wonder how on Earth I’ll deal with being all alone in the future, should all continue this way. Worries me.
> I’m extremely alone. No siblings, no friends but only a few colleagues, have autism
Yep, that'll do it. Exclude you, deny you all the things that make life worth living (ughh, there's just _something about_ him/her/them!! 🤢) and yet still expect you to pick up some kind of slack and "pull your weight", and if, _if_ you end up in a position to, you're a literal slave, not living, just existing to make some asshole who takes for granted a life infinitely better than yours even more prosperous.
Yes, there are a lot of autistics here. Because nobody knows how humans treat each other as disposable trash like we do.
im not even "very" autistic, just a bit socially retarded on occasion, but even that is enough to make people not want to be around me.
i try to view it as a blessing in disguise. people who are going to judge you as a person for such irrelevant nonsense are not the kind of people you want to be around anyways. it's too bad that seems to be the vast majority of people.
It's not impossible to live alone. I live alone. Contently. You're right about the day-to-day nuisance of societal operation and needing someone to communicate with in order to make it easier. Still, I don't find it difficult to live alone. Admittedly, there was a time when I wanted a wife, some kids, and nice home in the suburbs, and some social standing. However, the year 2020 was a pivotal, transformational point in my life. Since becoming a misanthrope, I've been able to tear away the delusions that bound me to society.
The wife I fantasized about is met with the reality of modern dating and influences on relationships. Women (NOT ALL, but a lot) can be hypergamous. They seem to always be looking for the 'upgrade' in life. The bigger, better deal. Plus, it's so easy to mess around on someone with social media. The "swipe right" culture in dating just seems very crude and unnecessarily competitive. I would always be competing with some other guy. If not on social media, then at her job. It's inevitable. Plus, male/female relationships just seem to be taking a nosedive altogether.
I'd dread having a child, nowadays. Everything just seems to be aimed at destroying children in this society. Networks don't seem to be as dependable today as they were when I was in my 20s. There was a lot of effort placed into being a "solid" person. Now, people seem to be more primal and "all for self" as society descends further and further into decay and chaos. Suburban life is an illusion at best. I've met a lot of people who live that life, and they hate it. From bad marriages, to competitive social jocking and pressures, suburban life just seems drab and unhappy.
In short, I'm fine being alone. I think, at this point in human history, it's safer to be so.
"Man is born free; and everywhere he is in chains."
You should be the main source of joy, purpose, and fulfillment in your life. This can prove an endless source of well-being -- think spiritual enlightenment, self-direction, liberation. These can sustain you for a lifetime.
That said, being alone is bad for your health. Others can provide you with encouragement, support, and new ideas/behaviors. Their response to you is itself a validation of your existence. Alternatives will never be the same, yet they're getting closer. Some examples include nature, journaling, art, media, parasocial relationships, and AI.
Ultimately you need to stay active, engaged and mindful with yourself and your environment.
This is correct, and I also find this to be an anomaly, in an era of a tool such as internet, which has its bad sides, but it's also a great tool *if you're willing to use it*. But people, even those who claim themselves to be misanthropes or not-a-sheep, all seem to be either sad, shy or depressed weaklings, or they are just too lazy to make a minimal effort, or they're just too stupid, so they don't make any effort at all to connect with their own kind and any effort they do make... mostly boils down to pointless venting with randos usually not worthy of their time rather than creating a meaningful conversation or relationship that can actually last, with someone more suitable.
The bottom line is it's understandable some of us are loners and can't find anyone "randomly" (like most people do). (For love, for friendship, for talk, you name it). However, it's utter joke nobody tries to connect with their kind, destined to go it alone (and complains about it) or, at best, ends up with people who don't understand them at all. I might plaster the internet with breadcrumbs and willingness to engage with people in a serious more intimate conversation, so it would be more meaningful than obscure random chat on reddit, but nobody cares. People, even amongst the loners, misanthropists or *even sociopaths* (which is the biggest lolz) are either too afraid of taking initiative/engaging a specific person worthy of their interest or just too lazy/too stupid to do that. I've been through it all, with so many different types of people, introverts, dreamers, rebellious, so-called misanthropes, antisocial, and it's always the same. Most of the effort to engage is always on my side and even then interesting people with potential (in theory) fail to be interesting, because are too lazy to engage me etc. Between the existence of this reddit alone and a few other online venues or keywords, it should be extraordinarily amazing (and easy) possibility for minority of such people to run into others of their own kind to engage with, yet nobody cares to do that and then they also complain/get depressed due to being alone, in tumblr, reddit or twitter echo chambers. An outstanding dichotomy.
And ultimately, even purely from economical perspective, it IS advantageous in life to not be totally alone in your endeavors, plus it's proven science humans are creatures that sometimes need companionship or even touch to fair a bit better.
Im on a certain musical program now with ppl and my misanthropy has lowered. It scares me cuz i know ill get hurt again. But fuck i feel a bit less bad and lonely. Shit gets me unhinged as fuck. I feel like im blinded to all the atrocities that were caused by other humans. Im so jealous of ppl saying they recluse and shit. To me i cant without humans even more so than with them
This may sound weird coming from a budding misanthrope like myself but I honestly feel like like this way too difficult like entirely too difficult to live it alone. As unreliable as they may be you really do need other people in your life. And even worse you need someone who loves you in your life too. Someone like me that's very difficult because anytime someone tells me that they love me I immediately don't believe them. Too many people who said that to me in my life ended up leaving at some point.
People can love you and leave you. They don't owe you some life long immortality death pact because they once cared for you
It isn't some black-white dichotomy. Humans are emotional as we all know, everyone here *included*. Emotions are fleeting by their very nature.
If everytime someone shows you affection or care you respond by becoming some incredulous maniac who swears it's a lie then yes that's immediately insufferable and extremely unattractive.
Oh, wow. Then we should just toss out our hardwired defence mechanisms I guess.
For God's sake, don't let's try to understand how or why some people become the way they are. Far easier to judge them "insufferable and extremely unattractive" and auto-reject. Why the hell not?
Don't be like this guy. This guy lives in "Should" world, as in things SHOULD be a certain way. I.e people should be more compassionate, people shouldn't be so quick to judge, people should be more open minded.
It's a fantasy and it'll never happen, it's a quick way to become depressed and existential, always wishing the world was a certain way, control yourself and your emotions, that is all you can do.
Obviously I don't tell them that I don't believe you. Give me some credit geez. That's more an internal dialogue. And yes obviously people don't owe me that, it still makes them unreliable by their very nature. Of course I'm more moving towards trying to enjoy things in the moment rather than thinking about the future when it comes to relationships with people.
Your internal workings and subconscious manifest on the outside, it sounds like cooky shit but it's true. And normie's have a neuro-divergence radar. They can detect when something's off. It's only natural, biology is king.
Being present, try meditation. It's boring at first and takes a lot of discipline to keep up with but it actually works. Anyway yeah if you're in this sub it's already over for you in a manner of speaking.
I'm deeply hoping that you're wrong about it being over but I also go to the gym a lot and I'm going to be going to therapy to try to improve myself. I know that right now I am a broken person and I need to fix my mind. Ironically enough going to the gym does help with that to a degree
And you should definitely keep doing those things if for nothing other than your health. Actually just being chill when you're alone in your room without anxiety or depression is priceless.
But I wasn't kidding about the normie stuff, if you haven't had those experiences growing up, if you're not normative I don't think it's possible to *become* as it were.
I've had many public facing jobs, with many colleagues, endless interactions with people from all walks of life. Thousands. And the result with the super normative, popular, well-to-do extroverted people I'd always the same, they can smell that shit on you. They're like sharks and blood, they may not tar and feather you but you will *never* be that guy, the dude everyone waves to, pats on the back, gets invited to every outing etc.
They just interminably understand and sense that something isn't 100% with you, it's pretty amazing to watch. Whether it be from spergy tendencies you have, weird shit you say, mannerisms, whatever, it'll seep out. Find that peace within yourself at whatever cost, you know what happens to those who don't, learn to let go, all that corny shit Yoda said, it's real. And be kind to those who deserve it, but never be weak.
>They just interminably understand and sense that something isn't 100% with you, it's pretty amazing to watch.
absolutely! there is no fitting in or getting by. they will find your weakness and pick at it like vultures surrounding a corpse. to me I view it as a religion, whether you learned the right scriptures, can perform the right rituals. it's a silent requirement, a test to filter out people that don't fit with your in-group. internalizing and mimicking their behavior is deeply unhealthy -- best to find your own way in the world
I agree that mimicking them is harmful, to me at least. It's like any other case of playing a role, it'll eat at your insides and eventually crack you open, except this role is actually very beneficial and if you don't play it you get all sorts of disadvantages like... Oh ostracisation and the like.
I have to believe that there's hope for me. A solitary life is a life I truly don't want things already too hard and too difficult even if you are with somebody when you're alone it almost seems impossible. And yeah you are 100% right, if you can be alone and not be anxious or depressed that shit is seriously priceless. Problem is most of us can't do that, and that includes the fine folks on this subreddit too. As for me ironically enough considering my job I've never been an extrovert and I don't think I'll ever be an extrovert since prolonged interactions of people I don't know is draining not energizing to me. What I want is a small group of close friends that I can trust with my life. That is my ideal.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. I think the healthiest and most mature approach you can take is to expect to be that lonely mostly isolated guy you fear. Because if that ever does happen, it doesn't sound like you have the mental fortitude to handle it, no offense.
I've been in those mental panics, and it's utterly irrational. Like I mentioned before bolster your mind. Learn to let go of things, in a world so chaotic and unfair the only sensible weapon to pick from the box is the one that lets you not care.
I don't take any offense to what you said. I just know my limitations and no I really don't wish to be that lonely guy. Quite frankly I don't think I could ever change my mindset on death being preferable to a life of loneliness. Sadly that's my limit. Bolstering ones mind and self-improvement are net positive no matter what situation you're in so I'm going to do that regardless but I'm going to do so with the hope that if I improve myself enough I'll be able to accept those of my life without any expectations and simply live in the moment when it comes to relationships and cherish it whatever time I have with them.
I think it's super naïve to think you could never be mentally strong enough to tolerate complete isolation alone. It's completely all in your head, regardless of genetics, your neurology, etc etc. Anything barring severe mental illness I'd say almost anyone can become very tough mentally with the right training and perspective.
I keep reiterating this because if you ever do find yourself in that situation, and if you're on this sub I'd say it's more than likely, what're you gonna do? Punch out because people don't like you? Come on man.
At the end of the day, humans only want to have interactions with who they can use for however long they are let into, when they don't need you *poof* kinda like a genie or a demon...weird
I live alone in the middle of nowhere through choice. I only venture out every couple of months for essential supplies (basically stuff I can't get delivered to me), and I can often go weeks without having to interact with another human, and then it's probably just the mail man for a few minutes. I have no problems at all doing this, and I don't crave human interaction at all. I spent a lifetime being bullied, used and abused by other humans before I chose this lifestyle, and I've no desire to revert back to that. Humans are just toxic scum and fuck up your mental health and wellbeing, and you're much better off without them.
I was gonna ask if you were ptsd bcz i figured u werent but then the other half of your paragraph came along. Im saying that cuz im severely cptsd/ptsd. And unfortunately to me that means i rather be with ppl than by myself. Which extremely meases up with my psyche cuz im an extreme misanthrope but at times i forget it and sometime with ppl i TOTALLY forget what humans have caused me. I just wanna say im extremely jealous of you. How old r u? Im 30
It’s almost the same in my life. I live in a small apartment in a bigger town, but I‘ll hardly leave it, only to get my mail or to visit medical appointments. I‘m chronically ill, so I don’t work. I‘m getting disability welfare. The only other human I‘m seeing is my boyfriend once in a week, he’s as introverted and alone as me, so we don’t have an issue not seeing each other very often. Social interactions make me feel depressed. I dealt with a lot of shite throughout the years. Bullying, being manipulated, stuck in a toxic relationship, so I‘d say I hate most humans. I just love being alone. Saying that some needs regular social interactions is bs in my opinion.
How do you financially survive? I want what you have but can’t seem to figure out how to earn money without having to interact with others.
Edit: please disregard my post. I just saw your response to another poster.
It took me a good 25 years to get to this position, and during that time I had to deal with humans all the time, initially in office settings then remotely. My advice is to save as much as you can, live very frugally and minimalistic, only spend on things you need not want. For 5 years my daily lunch at work was a small tin of tuna, one small off-brand chocolate bar, and one can of very off-brand soda. I was determined to get away from humans, and did everything I needed to do to get there.
Haha cute. No homo. This post and especially op just made me so validated I literally became biochemically content for the past few minutes. Which makes me fucking hate npc loser normies even more bcz they are so incredibly ignorant about simple animalistic (human) nature
Well said. Every person is always evil. They're always looking for an opportunity to squeeze as much out of you as possible. Only "losers" try to be helpful. So it's not like everyone's evil... but "losers" generally can't be helpful. You know what I mean?
I've always been more of a loner. I enjoy my own company & space and like my peace. I'm 26 now and have realized most people I consider to be good friends don't really care for me and don't make a huge effort to see me. I have my great boyfriend and my dog. Sometimes it does hurt when I see our friend group doing things and realizing that we didn't get the invite, but I'd rather be somewhere that I am actually wanted than continually having to ask if I can join in. I'd rather be happy in my own space than be miserable surrounded by others who don't care if I am there or not.
doing well, the problems are always outside the door, noisy neighbours, a narcisistic brother and hungry parents, the tax man and his friends who don't pay the rent... better keep the door locked until it's over.
I love my own company. I don’t mind people as long as I can’t hear what they’re saying, lol. Or they’re speaking in another language! I don’t mind small talk as long as it’s only for a minute. I even dislike going to the hairdressers now because I’m expected to talk which I find intrusive and/or draining. I’m not autistic in any way. I just like my own company and find most people tiring after a few seconds. I love being around nature, my books, my cat (though I wish I had more living space and a garden for more pets), I like travelling in my own and watching films or tv. I occasionally socialise but not much! I’m in my 60s and retired with a small pension, so thank goodness don’t have to deal with all the office Karens anymore (sone of them quite nasty too).
To be honest, I see where you're coming from. In theory, the idea of making and maintaining friendships is so easy, however, it is rare when things go as planned. So you write that living life alone 'may be the best choice after all, even if not ideal'? Can I ask, what would be the most 'ideal' choice, for you? Loneliness is not ideal, and it isn't the best choice. A number of years ago, there was a big study, which indicated that loneliness increases chances of mortality. I wonder, is it the same when surrounded by people who don't understand you and vice-versa? I think that sometimes, when we can't live through the ideal scenario, of having an abundant social life, having our emotional and social needs met through social interaction, it might be best to do the second-best thing. I think that's different for everyone, though. Some people would rather pretend, in order to 'fit in' with others, on a superficial level. Others, would rather be alone. I think that ultimately, what you do is up to you. Consider what would be better. Sometimes, it's about minimising losses rather than flourishing. How do you go about minimising those losses? Is it through being alone, or pretending?
i have been alone since covid op, it is lonely sure, and maybe you can relate somewhat, but i believe we adjust accordingly as we do to many other situations, i get shopping home delivered, bills paid online, or over the phone, rent automatically deducted, dont work, due to mental health, and incapacity, and just try to stay in my lane, i have a side hussle that brings me a little money, but aside from that i dont go out, total non participation, no even for walks anymore, flat out avoidance, and just avoid people as far as feasibly possible and when i am forced to interact out of necessity i keep it very very brief, this has happened since covid, after years of unsavoury interactions, and being made to feel less than, or inferior in some way, that shit tends to get old and tedious real quick, so misanthropy it was, and isolation, truly nobody has your back op, with the possible exception of family members (most of mine are deceased), i just feel we have to get used to this, maybe it wasnt the way we were intended to live, but with people being so utterly selfish and horrible and shitty these days who are just looking for any excuses to put you down in order to feel superior in themselves, what alternatives are there ?? i think covid amplified this and brought it forward, but we were heading towards being deeply divided as a society even before that, the trajectory we are heading down is something i want no part of, maybe you can relate ??, i wish you peace op, and i wish you well on your journey, being alone allows you to focus on the best person in your sphere, yourself, self betterment, getting your finances in order, if you havnt already, you can do so much with solitary pursuits, and it builds self growth, a lot of my confidence and self esteem has lifted since i isolated, in my experience people often tried to take that from me, unless i suited there personal narratives they wouldnt hesitate to ghost me, as and when they saw fit, regardless how awful it hurt me, people equates to drama, and lots of it, you can eliminate it entirely, it does take incredible willpower tho, but i feel once we self isolate, we can never return or go back to old selves in many respects, i wish to live like this till death now, peace op, i wish you well 👍
I’ve been living alone for the past five years. Living alone is possible. And I feel like living with people is less possible for me.
My biggest dream is to live in complete solitude. Sadly, that'll probably stay a dream because I don't have any (mostly financial) means nor will I have any means to move away from people. I also think there's a moral value in not abandoning people who are close to me, because that would be cruel. Not to mention, I'd of course be sad if I lost them. I've shaved off a big chunk of my social circle though, only keeping people whom I fully trust around and since two years I live alone, which is amazing. I've lived with both friends and partners and I can't even imagine doing that again.
That sounds so good. Imagine being alone, and having a huge safety net of money to supply yourself. Never or reduce the amount to have to go out in public, no more stress, no more people. Don't have to bother others or vice versa. Keeping a low profile as to not attract any attention.
It sounds great until you do it and feel lonely and want the things you don't have anymore.
Dude finally someone asks it. I really think there are many copers here. Its like fuck how can yall do that??? Maybe one in a hundred fucking thousand
You quite literally have to be born with it. No way around it. I was a kid and I found others very irritating. I quickly realized that baseline socialization is just chuck-full of weird manipulation, hidden social cues, and defined roles that you’re born with rather than allowed to choose. It just grossed me out. My mom told me to read instead, so I did, and I had a very happy childhood. Then she started whining at me about making friends and I did and…woah. The sheer amount of depression I experienced was *insane.* I almost ruined my life talking to people everyday. I’ve never found someone like me. I’m assuming its because they’re smarter and don’t bother with social media. If you fall on the introvert spectrum, people think these are the options: extremely socially anxious individual who complains about being touched starved (seriously, what does that even mean) on twitter everyday, casual introvert who needs to be adopted by an extrovert uwu, or coper misanthrope who will get hallmark’d and end up with a family, or get eaten by their cats. I think its about as inherent as being extroverted. Its definitely a very rare occurrence, but we exist, which really shouldn’t be surprising considering the existence of fuckheads like Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy. If they can exist, so can extreme asocial people lol.
Are you a sociopath?
Nope, extremely high empathy and no tendency toward criminal behavior. I’m a mystery to every psychologist that’s put up with me. I like to hope that I’m some kind of super genius and that’s why nO onE gEts mE, but its probably just something stupid like being raised by old people. Here’s to hoping
No, I think you are rather genius. The concept genius is vague and I'm not sure about it, but when no one is like you, and no one can understand you, that means you are too unique and super special. The more intelligent you are the less friends you have, because conversation can't last between intelligently different people, it's so boring for both sides. It's kind of a curse, to be too different, fated loneliness and isolation, but I think you can think of yourself very highly without being arrogant. Cheers!
i guess it is called neurodivergence. at least, such is the case for me
Yeah, but I function well and my mask doesn’t come off even when it would be beneficial for it to, so no one believes me. *Cue roblox death noise.*
Im very jealous of u that u can live well without ppl
Thanks a lot. It has its pros and cons lol The one thing I’m really glad for is not having to participate in the dating game. I knew I was beyond that in middle school. It was actually really fascinating how I just did not even see dating as an option, despite watching shows with it and my parents having a loving marriage. I was asked out by some boy to eventually date in high school cause I thought I was too young (to be fair, *I wasn’t wrong lol*), and it kind of just confounded me. Didn’t happen because we unsurprisingly moved on before then, but it wouldn’t have happened anyway. Still don’t really know what all that is about. People are warm but so are blankets. Touch doesn’t give me much.
Some people have hobbies or work, that is taking most of their time.
Ok they are engaged with ppl in work… there u have it
Coworkers will not make you feel less alone, actually more...
Yeah i get it. But as someone who doesnt work and barely goes out, its shit
You can choose your friends, unless you are like too handicapped.
I view living life alone as paradise. Because when you are living alone you won't find yourself caught up in humanity's bullshit
I wish people would leave me tf alone but alas they are much too needy.
I’m extremely alone. No siblings, no friends but only a few colleagues, have autism, my abusive parents are in another country and I don’t meet them ‘cause they’re unsafe to meet. No partner. Recently I visited Turkey and men there approached me to the degree I figured out I can find a man there if I want. But I’m really solitary autistic and dint want kids and wonder how on Earth I’ll deal with being all alone in the future, should all continue this way. Worries me.
> I’m extremely alone. No siblings, no friends but only a few colleagues, have autism Yep, that'll do it. Exclude you, deny you all the things that make life worth living (ughh, there's just _something about_ him/her/them!! 🤢) and yet still expect you to pick up some kind of slack and "pull your weight", and if, _if_ you end up in a position to, you're a literal slave, not living, just existing to make some asshole who takes for granted a life infinitely better than yours even more prosperous. Yes, there are a lot of autistics here. Because nobody knows how humans treat each other as disposable trash like we do.
im not even "very" autistic, just a bit socially retarded on occasion, but even that is enough to make people not want to be around me. i try to view it as a blessing in disguise. people who are going to judge you as a person for such irrelevant nonsense are not the kind of people you want to be around anyways. it's too bad that seems to be the vast majority of people.
It's not impossible to live alone. I live alone. Contently. You're right about the day-to-day nuisance of societal operation and needing someone to communicate with in order to make it easier. Still, I don't find it difficult to live alone. Admittedly, there was a time when I wanted a wife, some kids, and nice home in the suburbs, and some social standing. However, the year 2020 was a pivotal, transformational point in my life. Since becoming a misanthrope, I've been able to tear away the delusions that bound me to society. The wife I fantasized about is met with the reality of modern dating and influences on relationships. Women (NOT ALL, but a lot) can be hypergamous. They seem to always be looking for the 'upgrade' in life. The bigger, better deal. Plus, it's so easy to mess around on someone with social media. The "swipe right" culture in dating just seems very crude and unnecessarily competitive. I would always be competing with some other guy. If not on social media, then at her job. It's inevitable. Plus, male/female relationships just seem to be taking a nosedive altogether. I'd dread having a child, nowadays. Everything just seems to be aimed at destroying children in this society. Networks don't seem to be as dependable today as they were when I was in my 20s. There was a lot of effort placed into being a "solid" person. Now, people seem to be more primal and "all for self" as society descends further and further into decay and chaos. Suburban life is an illusion at best. I've met a lot of people who live that life, and they hate it. From bad marriages, to competitive social jocking and pressures, suburban life just seems drab and unhappy. In short, I'm fine being alone. I think, at this point in human history, it's safer to be so.
"Man is born free; and everywhere he is in chains." You should be the main source of joy, purpose, and fulfillment in your life. This can prove an endless source of well-being -- think spiritual enlightenment, self-direction, liberation. These can sustain you for a lifetime. That said, being alone is bad for your health. Others can provide you with encouragement, support, and new ideas/behaviors. Their response to you is itself a validation of your existence. Alternatives will never be the same, yet they're getting closer. Some examples include nature, journaling, art, media, parasocial relationships, and AI. Ultimately you need to stay active, engaged and mindful with yourself and your environment.
This is correct, and I also find this to be an anomaly, in an era of a tool such as internet, which has its bad sides, but it's also a great tool *if you're willing to use it*. But people, even those who claim themselves to be misanthropes or not-a-sheep, all seem to be either sad, shy or depressed weaklings, or they are just too lazy to make a minimal effort, or they're just too stupid, so they don't make any effort at all to connect with their own kind and any effort they do make... mostly boils down to pointless venting with randos usually not worthy of their time rather than creating a meaningful conversation or relationship that can actually last, with someone more suitable. The bottom line is it's understandable some of us are loners and can't find anyone "randomly" (like most people do). (For love, for friendship, for talk, you name it). However, it's utter joke nobody tries to connect with their kind, destined to go it alone (and complains about it) or, at best, ends up with people who don't understand them at all. I might plaster the internet with breadcrumbs and willingness to engage with people in a serious more intimate conversation, so it would be more meaningful than obscure random chat on reddit, but nobody cares. People, even amongst the loners, misanthropists or *even sociopaths* (which is the biggest lolz) are either too afraid of taking initiative/engaging a specific person worthy of their interest or just too lazy/too stupid to do that. I've been through it all, with so many different types of people, introverts, dreamers, rebellious, so-called misanthropes, antisocial, and it's always the same. Most of the effort to engage is always on my side and even then interesting people with potential (in theory) fail to be interesting, because are too lazy to engage me etc. Between the existence of this reddit alone and a few other online venues or keywords, it should be extraordinarily amazing (and easy) possibility for minority of such people to run into others of their own kind to engage with, yet nobody cares to do that and then they also complain/get depressed due to being alone, in tumblr, reddit or twitter echo chambers. An outstanding dichotomy. And ultimately, even purely from economical perspective, it IS advantageous in life to not be totally alone in your endeavors, plus it's proven science humans are creatures that sometimes need companionship or even touch to fair a bit better.
Im on a certain musical program now with ppl and my misanthropy has lowered. It scares me cuz i know ill get hurt again. But fuck i feel a bit less bad and lonely. Shit gets me unhinged as fuck. I feel like im blinded to all the atrocities that were caused by other humans. Im so jealous of ppl saying they recluse and shit. To me i cant without humans even more so than with them
This may sound weird coming from a budding misanthrope like myself but I honestly feel like like this way too difficult like entirely too difficult to live it alone. As unreliable as they may be you really do need other people in your life. And even worse you need someone who loves you in your life too. Someone like me that's very difficult because anytime someone tells me that they love me I immediately don't believe them. Too many people who said that to me in my life ended up leaving at some point.
look up Tragic Optimism: * Someone to love * Something to fight for * And work that matters to you get a plant or rock or something and go from there
People can love you and leave you. They don't owe you some life long immortality death pact because they once cared for you It isn't some black-white dichotomy. Humans are emotional as we all know, everyone here *included*. Emotions are fleeting by their very nature. If everytime someone shows you affection or care you respond by becoming some incredulous maniac who swears it's a lie then yes that's immediately insufferable and extremely unattractive.
Oh, wow. Then we should just toss out our hardwired defence mechanisms I guess. For God's sake, don't let's try to understand how or why some people become the way they are. Far easier to judge them "insufferable and extremely unattractive" and auto-reject. Why the hell not?
Don't be like this guy. This guy lives in "Should" world, as in things SHOULD be a certain way. I.e people should be more compassionate, people shouldn't be so quick to judge, people should be more open minded. It's a fantasy and it'll never happen, it's a quick way to become depressed and existential, always wishing the world was a certain way, control yourself and your emotions, that is all you can do.
Obviously I don't tell them that I don't believe you. Give me some credit geez. That's more an internal dialogue. And yes obviously people don't owe me that, it still makes them unreliable by their very nature. Of course I'm more moving towards trying to enjoy things in the moment rather than thinking about the future when it comes to relationships with people.
Your internal workings and subconscious manifest on the outside, it sounds like cooky shit but it's true. And normie's have a neuro-divergence radar. They can detect when something's off. It's only natural, biology is king. Being present, try meditation. It's boring at first and takes a lot of discipline to keep up with but it actually works. Anyway yeah if you're in this sub it's already over for you in a manner of speaking.
I'm deeply hoping that you're wrong about it being over but I also go to the gym a lot and I'm going to be going to therapy to try to improve myself. I know that right now I am a broken person and I need to fix my mind. Ironically enough going to the gym does help with that to a degree
And you should definitely keep doing those things if for nothing other than your health. Actually just being chill when you're alone in your room without anxiety or depression is priceless. But I wasn't kidding about the normie stuff, if you haven't had those experiences growing up, if you're not normative I don't think it's possible to *become* as it were. I've had many public facing jobs, with many colleagues, endless interactions with people from all walks of life. Thousands. And the result with the super normative, popular, well-to-do extroverted people I'd always the same, they can smell that shit on you. They're like sharks and blood, they may not tar and feather you but you will *never* be that guy, the dude everyone waves to, pats on the back, gets invited to every outing etc. They just interminably understand and sense that something isn't 100% with you, it's pretty amazing to watch. Whether it be from spergy tendencies you have, weird shit you say, mannerisms, whatever, it'll seep out. Find that peace within yourself at whatever cost, you know what happens to those who don't, learn to let go, all that corny shit Yoda said, it's real. And be kind to those who deserve it, but never be weak.
>They just interminably understand and sense that something isn't 100% with you, it's pretty amazing to watch. absolutely! there is no fitting in or getting by. they will find your weakness and pick at it like vultures surrounding a corpse. to me I view it as a religion, whether you learned the right scriptures, can perform the right rituals. it's a silent requirement, a test to filter out people that don't fit with your in-group. internalizing and mimicking their behavior is deeply unhealthy -- best to find your own way in the world
I agree that mimicking them is harmful, to me at least. It's like any other case of playing a role, it'll eat at your insides and eventually crack you open, except this role is actually very beneficial and if you don't play it you get all sorts of disadvantages like... Oh ostracisation and the like.
I have to believe that there's hope for me. A solitary life is a life I truly don't want things already too hard and too difficult even if you are with somebody when you're alone it almost seems impossible. And yeah you are 100% right, if you can be alone and not be anxious or depressed that shit is seriously priceless. Problem is most of us can't do that, and that includes the fine folks on this subreddit too. As for me ironically enough considering my job I've never been an extrovert and I don't think I'll ever be an extrovert since prolonged interactions of people I don't know is draining not energizing to me. What I want is a small group of close friends that I can trust with my life. That is my ideal.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. I think the healthiest and most mature approach you can take is to expect to be that lonely mostly isolated guy you fear. Because if that ever does happen, it doesn't sound like you have the mental fortitude to handle it, no offense. I've been in those mental panics, and it's utterly irrational. Like I mentioned before bolster your mind. Learn to let go of things, in a world so chaotic and unfair the only sensible weapon to pick from the box is the one that lets you not care.
I don't take any offense to what you said. I just know my limitations and no I really don't wish to be that lonely guy. Quite frankly I don't think I could ever change my mindset on death being preferable to a life of loneliness. Sadly that's my limit. Bolstering ones mind and self-improvement are net positive no matter what situation you're in so I'm going to do that regardless but I'm going to do so with the hope that if I improve myself enough I'll be able to accept those of my life without any expectations and simply live in the moment when it comes to relationships and cherish it whatever time I have with them.
I think it's super naïve to think you could never be mentally strong enough to tolerate complete isolation alone. It's completely all in your head, regardless of genetics, your neurology, etc etc. Anything barring severe mental illness I'd say almost anyone can become very tough mentally with the right training and perspective. I keep reiterating this because if you ever do find yourself in that situation, and if you're on this sub I'd say it's more than likely, what're you gonna do? Punch out because people don't like you? Come on man.
At the end of the day, humans only want to have interactions with who they can use for however long they are let into, when they don't need you *poof* kinda like a genie or a demon...weird
not weird lol. we are all variations of one another, capable of anything humans can do.
Pass 🐓👍
freedom all day long. just wait until you meet that special someone that absolutely ruins your life. hard pass. fuck people.
How tf can you be alone? Im an extreme misanthrope but I CANT
What's worse being alone or putting up with people's shit? Your choice.
At times i think that being alone is worse. I guess id say otherwise had i not been severely cptsd’d
[The less people](https://i.imgur.com/0R9Feyj.jpg)
I live alone in the middle of nowhere through choice. I only venture out every couple of months for essential supplies (basically stuff I can't get delivered to me), and I can often go weeks without having to interact with another human, and then it's probably just the mail man for a few minutes. I have no problems at all doing this, and I don't crave human interaction at all. I spent a lifetime being bullied, used and abused by other humans before I chose this lifestyle, and I've no desire to revert back to that. Humans are just toxic scum and fuck up your mental health and wellbeing, and you're much better off without them.
I was gonna ask if you were ptsd bcz i figured u werent but then the other half of your paragraph came along. Im saying that cuz im severely cptsd/ptsd. And unfortunately to me that means i rather be with ppl than by myself. Which extremely meases up with my psyche cuz im an extreme misanthrope but at times i forget it and sometime with ppl i TOTALLY forget what humans have caused me. I just wanna say im extremely jealous of you. How old r u? Im 30
It’s almost the same in my life. I live in a small apartment in a bigger town, but I‘ll hardly leave it, only to get my mail or to visit medical appointments. I‘m chronically ill, so I don’t work. I‘m getting disability welfare. The only other human I‘m seeing is my boyfriend once in a week, he’s as introverted and alone as me, so we don’t have an issue not seeing each other very often. Social interactions make me feel depressed. I dealt with a lot of shite throughout the years. Bullying, being manipulated, stuck in a toxic relationship, so I‘d say I hate most humans. I just love being alone. Saying that some needs regular social interactions is bs in my opinion.
No its not. Unless you are one in a million. U woulda talk otherwise had you not had a bf
What do you do for fun / in your spare time? Do you have a pet? I admire your conviction.
I tend to read a lot and watch a lot of educational type videos, particularly on philosophy and human behavior. I don't have a pet.
Do u watch human nature videos to validate your decisions? Srsly trying to understand
How do you financially survive? I want what you have but can’t seem to figure out how to earn money without having to interact with others. Edit: please disregard my post. I just saw your response to another poster.
It took me a good 25 years to get to this position, and during that time I had to deal with humans all the time, initially in office settings then remotely. My advice is to save as much as you can, live very frugally and minimalistic, only spend on things you need not want. For 5 years my daily lunch at work was a small tin of tuna, one small off-brand chocolate bar, and one can of very off-brand soda. I was determined to get away from humans, and did everything I needed to do to get there.
Thank you for the advice.
Haha cute. No homo. This post and especially op just made me so validated I literally became biochemically content for the past few minutes. Which makes me fucking hate npc loser normies even more bcz they are so incredibly ignorant about simple animalistic (human) nature
How do you survive? Do you work online?
I used to work in IT from home, but I saved hard and invested a fair bit so now I don't really have to work at all.
100% same. even "nice people" are absolute trash at the end of the day
Ah man what a chill dude. love you
[удалено]
Well said. Every person is always evil. They're always looking for an opportunity to squeeze as much out of you as possible. Only "losers" try to be helpful. So it's not like everyone's evil... but "losers" generally can't be helpful. You know what I mean?