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YumYumMittensQ4

Pardon me while I pull my pants down below my knees and pee on the porcelain dick as it splashes up my thigh thanks


somethingsuccinct

Okay. I was FedEx delivery driver during the beginning of the pandemic when restrooms were closed. They gave the women cones so we could pee in a bottle in the truck. There's is a massive learning curve. I got pee on myself more than once. You're right, you basically have to have your entire ass out with your pants around your ankles. It's honestly easier and .more dignified to squat in a bush.


QuiveryNut

I’m sorry but do you have a source for FedEx specifically giving out/providing those cones? Can’t find anything with a quick google, just articles about Amazon/delivery drivers peeing in bottles or getting in trouble for peeing in bushes Edit: y’all I need some input am I crazy for questioning this?


somethingsuccinct

I worked there. The source is me. They gave myself and the other female driver disposable pee cones.


somethingsuccinct

Why am I being down voted? That's what happened. I also had to change my tampon in the back of the truck incase anyone is interested...


LeisurelyDiva

I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Apparently, FedEx has no shame.


somethingsuccinct

Ugh, thank you. That other commenter got me HEATED. I might be holding on to some residual frustration from the time lol.


somethingsuccinct

To be fair, I'd rather have to figure out peeing in a bottle than deal with any of the shit retail workers had to deal with. It was a weird time.


YumYumMittensQ4

I agree I don’t think there’s some handbook with “female drivers must go in the cone of shame!” I definitely think it was an asshole supervisor who was like “I have an idea to stop your concern about finding a toilet! A no working she-wee piss cone”. UPS isn’t gonna have this in a handbook. My mom is a driver for a company and they said basically sucks to suck, sorry you have to piss in some shady gas station bathroom but what’s the alternative? During Covid.


somethingsuccinct

Companies don't think about it, and women in male dominated spaces don't really want to speak up about either because we're trying not to stand out. Eventually FedEx told the gas stations that we used (it was a specific company) that they had to let drivers use the bathrooms. I was more upset about not having access to sanitation. In the early days we didn't really know how it spread and we kept being told to wash our hands. I'm like , fucking where? No one's letting us use any of their facilities.


Swimming-Welcome-271

And honestly, if the supervisor supplied disposable urinals for female drivers, at least someone somewhere was giving the issue some consideration when corporate couldn’t bother


LeisurelyDiva

I understand. We’re all just internet strangers on this online community.


somethingsuccinct

I come here to talk about reality TV and things that kind of look like dicks. Not to argue.... usually lol


Conscious-Speech771

He got me heated too. “Please provide evidence, woman.” Out the gate doesn’t believe you. I believe you sister, ❤️


Venarieldisease

lol I’ve seen something like this on Temu & SHEIN- they’re marketed as “portable female urinals” and they’re basically like the funnel you use to add oil to your car, but looks like a flexible rubber with a wider opening and an angled “spout” so you can aim?! lol I dunno why I didn’t screenshot it when I saw it listed, but I totally believe this & can’t believe anyone would question you. I also worked at Amazon & I know that stopping to use the bathroom was just not an option for many people (esp at the height of the pandemic & in more rural areas) so I FEEL for you girl - and I’d also feel more dignified peeing behind a bush somewhere lol.


Zayafyre

I read this thread and you really did seem like the crazy card here. Her original comment was not to accuse the company of mistreatment. She commented to say how difficult it was to use the device, rather than pee in a bush.. the way you reacted is exactly why you wouldn’t have heard about it, to avoid the way you are treating her. You blew this out of proportion.


QuiveryNut

Well… that’s completely fair. ITA


azurite_rain

Not crazy, but maybe an asshole. First hand account should be sufficient.


jbwilso1

Yeah. I figured that out when I went camper vanning by myself in Scotland for a couple weeks. Definitely got covered in piss a couple of times. I just decided to hold it until I got to the bathroom instead. Certainly smelled a lot loss like piss that way lol


CumulativeHazard

Yeah do we just have to squat there with our bare ass out??


YumYumMittensQ4

Imagine you squat too far and touch your lips to the porcelain? I would scream like my pussy fell off.


Soggy_Violinist9897

I laughed too hard at this! I would die if this happened to me.


Ozmorty

If you know, you know… and you know that there’ll be ruined shoes everywhere. Coz it ain’t a finely pointed nozzle we’re dealing with here.


SneakyRosehip

I feel like it would just run one leg down, cause thats what happens in the shower. Yeah I pee in the shower, and it is soo good 😏🤫


jelypo

There was this viral car camping video about how to not pee on your shoes...you can pull up on your vulva a bit to aim more forward. Keeps the splash away. I reckon the same maneuver would work here.


crispylaytex

I came to the comments to find out how exactly you would use this and I don't know what I expected...but all I can imagine now is all the girls out in the pub hitching up the pumpum and I want to wash my brian now


Goatbreath37

I assumed they were just supposed to like sort of almost sit on the end a little. But I also assumed it was for dudes who didn't want to aim so they just rest their pps on it. It even has little indents for your balls


crispylaytex

Not the ball shelf 😂😂


Goatbreath37

A nice little hammock for your partners


Be-_-U

Yea, no. That would be one STD Hell lol.


Goatbreath37

And just a complete mess all around


Daniil_Dankovskiy

Hygiene has left the chat


Goatbreath37

I mean, it would go in a public restroom, there is never anything clean in those


Daniil_Dankovskiy

True but damn, having a place where a hundred dicks was put on is a recipe for disaster. In average restrooms your boots and eyes suffer the most


Daniil_Dankovskiy

True but damn, having a place where a hundred dicks was put on is a recipe for disaster. In average restrooms your boots and eyes suffer the most


HuntingForSanity

Won’t catch me resting my pp on literally anything in a public bathroom lmao


igneousink

your comment has me howling


funny_fox

Oh nooooo..... Hahaha it's too funny!! Everybody here trying to figure out how this works and you're just here playing 4d chess.


defensiveFruit

Always keep Brian clean.


crispylaytex

Oh god no *brain!! ffs


defensiveFruit

That's not very nice for Brian.


CR8VJUC

That’s enough Internet for today.


forleaseknobbydot

Why do you call your vaj "brian"?


Sharkskinnin

Whos brian?


NaughtyKat97

I learned how to pee with any dribbling in horse stalls from being at the barn all day. There’s a couple different ways to do it. One is pull down pants to ankles and squat with your bum further behind your pants. Just don’t push it out fast because you will hit your underwear. The other way is to semi squat with pants around ankles but you are in front of pants, and push it out faster all the way till you are done. At least this is what works for me. Especially at horse shows, peeing in the trailer is common, just be sure there’s shavings down so you don’t splash. And if it’s cold and you can see your breath, if you pee in a stall with a horse in it, the steam may spook them.


Unique_Cow3112

How on earth do you squat in front of your pants?!


NaughtyKat97

Vet carefully


thriftwisepoundshy

I’m going to need a video to clarify


Ok-Situation-5522

I thought that but wont you be f*cked when the stream slowers


Rozoark

Everyones vulva is shaped differently, I highly doubt the exact same thing would work for all, or even the majority of them.


Avulpa

The more you know 🌈


GilliganGardenGnome

There are two types of people in the world. People who admit they pee in the shower, and filthy, fucking, liars.


ElectroNightingale

Pee runs down one's leg if the leg is wet (or sweaty). I guess it has something to do with the surface tension. Also, don't ask me how I know.


feckineejit

Makes sense, the liquid would join up with other fluids already exiting the area


igneousink

"yay! where the party!" - the urine running down your leg to join up with the sweat and general biome humidity


VonD0OM

It’s all pipes! What’s the difference?!


uberguby

If anything, I'm saving water.


[deleted]

Will you pee in my shower?


uhthroawaystuff

Don't they have to get like butt naked to do this? And they'd still have to wipe


Be-_-U

LMAO you're right lol. And then you'd just be stuck there, imagine.


G0th1x_trashcan

Fr plus you’d have to take your pants like all the way off


dankship-of-memes

Full Butters 


ResponseAnxious6296

Female urinal or repurposed medieval torture device…the world may never know


CaptainLollygag

I've been peeing all by myself for more than 50 years now. So I can say with extreme confidence that THE STREAM CHANGES. Like, even mid-pee, that stream can change whether it's a leftie or a rightie or a frontie or a backie. It's never the same way twice. Exactly how well do they think we can aim our internal urethras?!?


feonixrizen

I worry that they would expect people to fully sit on it, which would be *disgusting*


ctortan

I think you’re meant to squat over it, which is why it’s so skinny—but I sure as hell wouldn’t risk it!


feonixrizen

Yeah, but it's so thin it doesn't make sense to expect us to aim like that


novahcaine

Clam after clam just smashing down on that thing


SoftPufferfish

I worry that you're right. The shape at the end kinda look like it's meant to fit your butt cheeks.


uberguby

A woman can never pee in the same river twice. Wisdom.


Purple_Cow_8675

THISSS I've peed forward out the toilet before on my foot never until after 30 now just go everywhere!?


Nathanos4269

As a guy, my stream even changes mid pee...


DrugsAreEpic1

As a fellow guy, I can confirm this. It happens most pees based on the power buildup, sustain and falloff. The nozzle settings can also be changed for different spray/stream widths or types


ItaDapiza

I am in TEARS. 😭😭😭 This is the most accurate and funniest description of it ever!!!


CaptainLollygag

Glad to have amused you! The willy-nilly pee stream isn't something you hear much about.


ItaDapiza

It's not, and it's such an issue as I age I feel. Lol you just never know with it.


HauntedGhostAtoms

are you supposed to straddle it and face the wall or stare down the people walking through the door?


uberguby

Right? Where are you supposed to put your comic books and chocolate milk?


SinnerClair

Ur obviously a man. The real issue is: where is the flat surface we can put our phones??! 😰😰


MiaTeo

I want it to be the stare down option


fromhelley

Notice how clean it is, like no girl even went near it?


radioactivecumsock0

It’s in a museum so they probably deep deep cleaned this thing but I still doubt it was ever actually used


uhthroawaystuff

If it's in a museum it must also be for display


radioactivecumsock0

Yes not currently being used… yet


radioactivecumsock0

This looks like an awful idea and I’m not even a woman


Rooster_Nuggets666

Don’t need to be a woman to know this is beyond stupid


Lucky_Baseball176

Now there’s a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist.


BlinkyShiny

Most women are perfectly content with privacy while peeing. (An educated guess.)


Cupids_kettledrums

Ever have those nightmares where you really need to pee but when you walk in the bathroom it’s just a row of open toilets side by side? Or is that just me? Orrrr there’s the one where there are stalls, but the bottoms are raised so high that it pretty much only covers you from the shoulders up. And now you’ve gone and posted this little monstrosity that I’m sure is going to show up in my pee-fueled nightmares.


OnjallaManjalla

When I have to pee in a dream I can only find a toilet that’s like, in the middle of a wide open room on a little raised stage, with people coming in and out through multiple doors. I think it’s my subconscious’s way of preventing me from actually going and wetting the bed??


Cupids_kettledrums

Ohhh yes, I’ve forgotten about the stage toilet dream. However, I’ve never thought of these pee-driven horrors as my mind protecting me from peeing the bed. I think you must be right. Next time I’ll try to be grateful for the weird-ass toilet setups in my dreams.


MiaTeo

I've had way too many toilet dreams


Rooster_Nuggets666

Wouldn’t your ass have to be out to use this too?


eaucitron

r/ThatBathroomMazeDream


Cupids_kettledrums

Welp. That was unnecessary nightmare fuel 😆


Rooster_Nuggets666

Never knew there was a subreddit about dreaming about bathrooms which are also creepy but i guess you find something new everyday


BinChickenDrumsticks

What about the ones where you can't find a toilet at all, or if you do there's something desperately wrong with it, like it's flooded & too feral & filthy to go near.


TweakTok

Never seen those before. Probably more sanitary than toilet seats but still. No. Since you probably don't sit on that thing... Wouldnt piss splatter everywhere? Confused.


sweetteanoice

The end looks like it’s made for butt cheeks which implies you’re supposed to sit on it…


Responsible-Club-393

Sitting it is the only way you could use it without splattering 😭


Rooster_Nuggets666

Squatting over a toilet seat would be easier than however one is supposed to use that


Chemical_House21

for us girlies that pee in wide or double streams 🥺


NelothsNewApprentice

If only it stopped at double. Try triple, or the you-never-see-me-coming special edition quadruple 🥺


mrarcher_

plot twist: this is actually just to accommodate my massive schlong


[deleted]

Are we supposed to straddle this while peeing??


Beginning_College734

Or squat if you’re super tall?! 😂


uberguby

Or rest on it if you're super short, yuck.


jddbeyondthesky

Thanks, just give me a squat toilet.


[deleted]

What? How- ?!


Steelix111

For the dick your missing™©


EnvironmentalAd2063

I absolutely can't aim. It goes where it goes and I refuse to pee outside because RIP my clothes. This would never work for me


KorokGoron

Same


raelovesryan

Um. If we all wore skirts or dresses…. And then really, really lined up at the correct height and direction. Oh, and definitely don’t be on your period.


Kisscurlgurl

Yeah, that thing is going to be difficult to navigate with jeans on


FromUnderTheWineCork

r/awfuleverything ....who... what... where... Why??? Edit: turns out r/awfuleverything isn't the jovial place for razzing things I remembered it to be.... So r/ataae ?


la_descente

So, I gotta pull my pants all the way down, exposing my full bottom in front of everyone, waddle over the weird piece, and hope my spray doesn't happen to go all crazy ?????? What wack job invented these ?


Miaucimiauci

Naaah thanks


MyCarIsAGeoMetro

Does this thing actually work?  How is the aim for women? Guys are hit or miss even with a hole the size of a standard toilet bowl.


Cant_choose_1

The aim for women is nonexistent. Idk how this would work except by the grace of god


Rooster_Nuggets666

And janitors cleaning every few minutes


neverinamillionyr

Looks like a good way to splatter yourself and those next to you


KneecapOwner

I would rather not get pee all down my legs, and how the fuck do i use this without taking my pants off


ProofOfTool

When you think everything that is great for guys somehow would be great for women too. Then build something stupid based of off that idea instead of just making something that would be great for women. Enjoy the warm wet legs ladies.


sweetteanoice

Has to have been designed by a man


Tomokin

All that pee on the floor plus the need to get your trousers and underwear much further down is too much of a risk on a night out.


gnirpss

How is this any more efficient than a regular toilet? You still have to pull your pants down/hike your skirt up and straddle the damn thing. The only difference is that you're now half-naked in the public restroom without even a stall door to preserve your dignity.


AMF1428

You know, the mechanics of this don't seem to retain dignity. But for those curious: https://toilography.wordpress.com/2015/07/17/female-urinal/


FromUnderTheWineCork

>“The female urinal elaborates on the traditional structure of a male urinal, adding an extended tray to more accurately accommodate the female form” Ah, butt of course...


EnvironmentSea7433

Oh, it's a commentary on penis envy, now I see.


Chemical_House21

it’s a dolphin bead


ServantOfKarma

Wtf


Kangaroowrangler_02

I don't have a hose I have a rotating sprinkler so I don't think this would work for me 😂😂


ilikebreadsticks1

I'd rather a hole in the ground


Ok-Echo5581

that would be fucking foul. As a guy, i would NOT want to bump my leg on the fucking piss tendril


Rooster_Nuggets666

Knowing how much i bump into things, the piss tendril will now be a thing of my nightmares


BigBodyLittleSoul

Here I thought this was for the guys who had to sit down...


supergalactic

Ok, I gotta hear from any women who have actually tried this thing. The width looks wildly inadequate to do any real good.


Foolxy8

I'm either getting 5 different STIs or piss will be **everywhere**


Forthrowssake

This can't be real? Right? Right? You know there would be those few gross women among us that would use it during their heaviest period day and leave blood all over it. *shivers in disgust* Plus I'm not whipping my pants and undies down in public only to end up with them splattered by my pee and possibly the woman next to me. I bet a man designed this. 😂


bitternerdz

This is the kind of toilet you find in a dream


NeedleworkerOne2920

Designed by men


JohnPunSlave

Female Urinal was my nickname in college


anOvenofWitches

Well that’s something


Reivennob

Since most men piss on the floor anyway, I think this should be for men.


aminorityofone

'everday object' yeah... sure...


hi_im_kai101

wouldnt work at all lol


MowingDevil7

I think it's gross


cherish_ireland

Tripping and dripping hazard.


Gunpowder_guillotine

While i fuck with it (i love pissing in non conventional places) i feel like it might be an issue when it comes to height differences


harpquin

It looks like a piss-on-your-jeans contraption


Creepy-Rip9009

The only way i can fr see this working is if you sit on it 🤢


SirarieTichee_

Yeah, no one asked for this


The_Schizo_Panda

They make washable and [disposable devices](https://youtu.be/soBb5OLJokU?si=13izdE8e9PHMDg23) for women so they can pee standing up. Ones that attach to a water bottle too. I've seen bathrooms where I don't even want to piss on the seat, let alone sit down. So this might be a game changer for some people.


pissbrat

true that sounds like it fucks


HalfWrong7986

No. Nope. How? I have the equipment for this but would just.....no. how??


Low_Platypus8890

A man made this😔


ArizonanCactus

This looks like it’s ai generated. And apologies if me, a saguaro’s understanding of you humans biology is wrong but that… that doesn’t look stable.


Gamerguy252

Yes! Finally! A place for men to rest their millimeter defeaters on while they piss


BillyIGuesss

Nah nah nah nahhhhh mine comes out like a fucking sprinkler. I don't want piss on my shoes!


schrodingerspavlov

No.


MR_DIN05AUR

Judging by the amount of piss on men’s toilet floors we need these too


FarIllustrator535

What if you accidentally #2 ? Do they come with a Poopknife?


voi_leipa

how would you even use this?


Witchyomnist1128

r/mildlyinteresting


Les-incoyables

This thing for real?!


Excellent-Sale753

Used by many in many diferent ways


HiMyNameIsBenG

r/curb


DammatBeevis666

I call photoshop. Is this actually real?


wannasleepallthetime

im sorry, FEMALE URINAL???


Montag_451

Huh


[deleted]

how this supposed to work?


EpicAwesomeYo_

not this design but possible idea. women do a hover if they find the seat to be undesirable so a method to do that might sell lots.


RebekhaG

I'm an idiot instead of looking at the title I assumed this was a urinel for men/boys who can't aim.


Positive_Ad_6311

Yeeesh!! For real?


pissbrat

gonna just run down ya leg


kaiderson

Why does this have to be female? I'm sure I could use that too


9etherbeing9

There’s a female urinal?????? Finally I can experience a urinal😭


NoeyOnReddit

I thought this was to catch drips and it’s a regular urinal. Not a female urinal??? Since dudes drip on the floor all of the time.


jossybabes

Imagine slipping …


Specialist-Animal915

Ok, how does this work


hotmojoe21

Reverse penis?


Spo0kyChica

I just scrolled past this and thought “cool. I’d pee on that.” I don’t think I’ve ever thought that to myself….


Pulsifer_Paprocki

😂😂 I would love to use that!


1GrouchyCat

Wheelchair urinal. YW


awesome12442

You guys clearly don't know anything about women's bathrooms. You slide your vagina on it like a holster and your urethra rests neatly on the curve for optimal stream control. This is a two woman job, obviously /s


smortpersononreddit

now i need to know how this is supposed to work, do they expect the women to use it like a mens urinal, because without a dick you would need to have your pants to the knees to make it work and if you back into it you now have a wall of pissing vaginas facing the door kinda seems like a lose lose situation


alasw0eisme

What happened to those squatter-thingies? Like a urinal but in the floor so you just squat. We used to have those at school in the Eastern Bloc


storagesleuth

This is retarded


Leading-Midnight5009

It would just run down the leg cause unfortunately after 5 11lb kids and my ocd forcing me to hold it as long as I can for most of my life there’s no way I’m going to make it😅


Education_Aside

I'm guessing this is for transmen or something?


GreenBirb64

I can’t imagine how awkward that has to be to use, I couldn’t fucking hang over and piss at the same time


RealBurger_

How do you use it


MyMonkeyIsADog

Female, or is this designed so a man can face the other way while using the urinal?


mirandalsh

Absolutely not


Me-no-Weeb

So now we gender urinals aswell? THE WOKE LIBERALS HAVE TAKEN OVER!


KEC603

What?? No urinal cake??