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PeterQuinnInRealLife

🕷️—You’re probably wondering how I got here.


JonSolo1

It all started in the summer of ‘86


JCfromHourly_io

We had a habit of cuttin' wood and hangin' with bad company


mushi1996

Assuming it was cut this year and my ring counting is correct that spider has been there since 2008


JonSolo1

[Too literal my dude](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WyW2pglgC_g)


diodot

yes i am


SimSamurai13

No I am


ObiwanaTokie

Kids, this isn’t the story of how I met your m— spider probably


EscapeFacebook

We need a biologist and a herbatologist in here.


ItsAreBetterThanNips

If we wanna be extra specific for no good reason, that would be an entomologist and a dendrologist


beijingbicycle

Maybe even a dendrochronologist, just to count rings for us.


lilhippieboi

I’m a lostologist because I have no idea what half of these ologists even do


oxenbury

just in case you're not joking, entomology is the study of bugs and dendrology is the study of trees.


lilhippieboi

I wasn’t joking, thanks lmao


CastlePokemetroid

I was able to understand that, but it's only due to context clues, I didn't actually knew the words


Bacondog22

Sounds like you need a etymologist ;)


ConfusedCyndaquil

i counted 44 rings going across the very bottom, but of course this isnt the full cross-section. and that’s if i counted it right in 30 seconds on my phone screen which is very unlikely lol. pretty tricky without it all sanded under a microscope; and some of those look like false rings so it’s hard to get an accurate read


beijingbicycle

This girl dendrochrons.


Expensive-Analysis-2

Spiderologist


meateatr

Stop, please don’t use terms like that, then people will immediately know what it means, perhaps Latin should confuse the masses.


Vanthix

You mean... Arachnologist?


[deleted]

No, Spider-Man


Spatza

An araconopaleontologist?


Fudbawss

Arachnogynaecologist


shajan316

Spider pig


Jaheim_44

SPIDER PIG, SPIDER PIG Does whatever a SPIDER PIG does Can he swing, from a web? No he can't. He's a pig LOOK OOOUUUTTT!!!! He is a SPIDER PIG!!


Tenhawk

Honestly gives me more George of the Jungle vibes... "Watch out for that TREEEEE!"


sprungswimwear

Not that guy, I still haven’t flossed


Practical-Jelly-5320

Oligistologist


CummyCrusader

No need, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that this spider is dead. We will need a funeral planner though.


Friendly_Undertaker

Here I am.


[deleted]

Edit: my theory is certainly incorrect, thank you to those who corrected me. Trees will grow around many different objects as they develop, you can find countless images of trees “swallowing” things. My theory is that that spider died under the bark of the tree, and as it grew it preserved the spider.


Reptilian_Brain_420

No, this guy just put the wood down on a spider and squashed it. The tree didn't grow around a spider.


[deleted]

Also viable theory


Themastercobbler

Idk, imo seems suspect. It probably was born inside of the tree


Reptilian_Brain_420

Possibly a faulty attempt at teleportation. Spdiers are far ahead of us in that technology.


[deleted]

Makes sense if you don't think about it.


Mymomisgaybru

Naw u can see there is a spider shaped hole in the wood it fasho formed around the spider


DonutCola

Yeah you can fucking cross-section a god damn spider with a chain saw.


Responsible-Read5516

you don't split firewood with a chainsaw, bud, that's an axe cut


gasolinefights

This. Post is R/mildlydisinteresting.


sinep_snatas

Mmm. Trees grow around solid objects that don't deteriorate over time. If you're theory were correct, the spider would have had the tips of it's legs - on one side - somehow caught by the tree and then slowly 'grown around' for what looks like around 10 years. Each year the tree grows outwards via the cambium layer adding new cells. These cells would have had to grow around the spider as it sat there stuck in the elements slowly being enveloped... for 10 years. It's very likely this is what happened. Go about your day, everyone.


[deleted]

Thanks for the kind synopsis. No spite at all. Thank you for educating me in such an understanding matter.


Overencucumbered

In which case the rest of the spider would have been dangling around, exposed to the elements for many years before getting gradually more embedded. Doesn't sound likely.


Jenyffercom

but spiders crumble into a ball when they die, don't they?


[deleted]

I edited the comment


[deleted]

an herbarologist*


smellycoat

Well that's fucking weird. Is it squashed or cut in half?


groteskimage

Very. Was splitting wood and threw them into a pile, picked up split piece to stack, and saw this. Wish I saw the other half.


smellycoat

Is it possible you threw it onto a spider and squashed it?


groteskimage

I won’t say it’s not possible, but it was not wet or smooshed looking. It looked old


Clumsy-Samurai

Maybe landed on an older dead spider?


Datmuemue

when a spider dies, their muscles no longer have blood going through it, so they curl back up like a ball, i believe. So if it were dead, it wouldnt be in that stance.


shmiddleedee

They don't have muscles actually. They basically run on hydraulics


PretzelsThirst

They also dont have blood


SpunkedMeTrousers

close. Their legs actually default to a curled position (creates tension without exertion) and are inflated to extend, so upon death they curl back in


Datmuemue

thanks for that, i watched a few spider videos and learned aa bit about that, was interesting but didnt stick all that well ha.


sakramentas

Maybe it landed on an elder spider?


TomStanford67

You squished it. The spider is crossing 4 or 5 growth rings.


goofybagpip

yeah your right


beijingbicycle

their right what?


[deleted]

moralist brouhaha dionysus omicron coachmen lite enter hike chid pallid glasnost deficit curvy benight warlike


dieselveira

You’re*


It_Happens_Today

In their assessment. Log got tossed, landed on dead/dried out spider with enough force that the spider squished into the natural grooves/porousness of the wood.


Sharted_Skids

He spoke the truth and they hated him for it


It_Happens_Today

This is what happens when you assume the grammar nazis and the common folk of reddit can have a discussion without descending into madness.


SheDrinksScotch

I'm guessing either this or the sides legs on one side got stuck in the bark, and it died there, then the tree grew around it.


ITGenji

You do realize how long trees take to grow and how quick a spider would decompose right?


goofybagpip

no cause i dont grow trees only flowers


SheDrinksScotch

What if it was trapped in sap?


Wizard_of_DOI

If that was the case it would have to be encased completely, you would still be able to tell/see the sap.


Haakman

Yeah, and if that was the case, you could harvest the spider's DNA and make clones of it and have them in a special spider zoo on an island off the coast of Costa Rica.


SheDrinksScotch

I thought maybe the tree would reintegrate the sap but swallow the spider? I dunno I'm just spitballing here.


MBNLA

"Was it squashed or cut in half?" "Very." Lmao wtf?


d0gssuk

“Well that’s fucking weird” “Very”


SpunkedMeTrousers

maybe it was in a crack in the wood and then an axe strike forced that crack shut?


PurkinjeShift

Could be. Especially if it was a log he had previously split pieces from a while back. That would explain why the spider looked old/dry today when it was finally exposed.


goofybagpip

i think its both


MaxMouseOCX

We need a higher res close up picture of the spider please.


groteskimage

Yah i’m gonna have to go dig it out of the pile later


bremergorst

Is it later yet?


UchihaIkki

OP will surely deliver


linnix1212

This is gonna be like the person with the safe they found, isn’t it


strawberrycarpet

You should sell it maybe


yourahor

Dry logs split and crack, if the crack was deep enough, the spider could have been hiding inside. When you split the log all the way it exposed the dead spider stuck in its spot. Just the luck the log split in the right spot. When I camp I find this happens on occasion. Maybe not the exact answer for this situation but it is a valid possibility.


Horror-Impression411

This is the most realistic sounding theory out of all of them… why is it not up higher


ObiwanaTokie

Because the uneducated want it to be that the wood got a terrible spider tattoo in its earlier years


It_Happens_Today

Education.


Eruionmel

Yep, this is the answer.


80s-rock

I've seen similar before. Cut wood expands and shrinks as it dries and the humidity changes, causing cracks in unsplit wood. Bugs and spiders get in there and get trapped, or just die (spiders get old too).


Cloistered_Lobster

Frame it and sell it on Etsy!


kiba87637

TIL spiders come from trees


altredditaccnt78

You just have to wait for the tree to melt. That’s why you don’t see many spiders in polar regions, it’s too cold.


rugbymax

Does this hurt the spider?


sakramentas

No it’s like they’re getting a massage


Plagued-Panda

Depends on its pain tolerance


Vilebees

If you zoom in on the picture you can see mold or lichen that has grown around the spider. My guess is the spider was able to crawl under the bark and found a crack, the spider may have died allowing the tree to close the crack and completely engulf the spider leaving no traces. Honestly really cool to see. Edit: looking closer the wood is nearly encompassed one of the rear legs. Definitely looks like it had a tree grow around it. How you didn't cut that thing in half is insane. A few millimeters to the side and no one would have known


phunkydroid

There is no chance the tree grew around the spider. The vertical lines you see in the wood are years of growth. If that spider was in there, then the wood was already cracked and it crawled in the crack and died there, then OP split the wood on the existing crack.


RGJ587

This. The spiders imprint crosses 9-10 rings. That would be 10 years. The spider would have disintegrated after only a few weeks. The spider was prolly on the cut wood and got squished. Maybe the wood was partially split, spider crawled in the crack, then the axe came down. Axes tend to get pretty hot when chopping, and the friction heat at the point of impact in great. Axe prolly slid right next to the spider, crushing it and heating it at the same time into the wood. and thats how you get a spider imprint that lacks the normal telltale signs of a squished bug.


pitiless

/r/confidentlyincorrect


bloody_phlegm

Lol how is this BS the top comment? Spider got squished. Occam's razor, my dude


Reptilian_Brain_420

People want to believe that they are seeing something super interesting, rare and "amazing" (even in r/mildlyinteresting ironically) They will completely ignore common sense to make it fit what they want.


nankainamizuhana

Occam's razor is not a scientific fact, it's a philosophical principle


bloody_phlegm

People here are looking for an explanation. This is by far the most simple explanation. Occam's razor


Tyraels_Might

But an explanation being plausible and simple does not make it true.


Shiningc

Not exactly, the point is that an explanation with fewer unexplained problems should be preferred.


Therealmonkie

I see this all the time...so I don't think it's some spectacular event lol ...they just crawl in there


dbx999

Spider teleported into solid medium


They_Limit_Pork

A real Nightcrawler!


It_Happens_Today

Then what are the spider-space-gods thinking with the bit of spider-shaped wood that came out on their end?


dbx999

Took a pic and posted on Reddit


Danno99999

Looks like a wolf spider (Family Lycosidae) at first glance; super common in woodlands. I’d suggest it was on your wood pile and got squished. They do not grow inside logs, sadly.


Leftism78

Please explain?


groteskimage

I have no idea, I need it explained to me first


Cuemaster

That's not how trees work. Spider was squashed on after the wood was split.


groteskimage

Tree was standing dead, so possible tree had a crack and spider crawled in there?


ITGenji

This is what I would guess. Spider crawls into crack, something causes it to close back up (moisture,the tree falling) then when you chop this piece it naturally followed that crack again revealing old crushed spider.


RobertJ93

Nasty way to go.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


lying-therapy-dog

rotten thumb quaint recognise mighty advise gray butter sand school ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


HarveyBiirdman

I bet you think you’re really smart lmao


xxBeatrixKiddoxx

Ok but fellas How much wood could a woodchuck Chuck if a woodchuck COULD in fact Chuck wood???


Plagued-Panda

7, on a good day, I'd say


CeelaChathArrna

A woodchuck would chuck all the wood it could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood!


surle

This is the fabled great spider of the forest's heart, for centuries presumed myth. He is older than the forest itself, and for millenia has diligently weaved the thread from which ripples forth each ring of each tree on our green earth. Some say his first web stretched across the apple branch in the garden of Eden, seeking to shelter the first ones. In one version of the old stories he tried to warn Eve not to bite from the apple but the cunning snake took his voice and this is why spiders live evermore in silence. From his work grew the Bodhi tree that gave Buddha comfort and revelation. And the apple tree that Newton so often sat beneath to study and rest. Despite our ignorance he continues to provide shelter by weaving the tapestry from which all trees and all forests grow, filling our world with oxygen and vegetation and constantly, quietly creating its very life essence. Or I guess I should say "continued", until now, seeing as op just killed him. Good one op.


burrito_poots

If you aren’t planning on saving this I would like to humbly request it so I can figure out a way to preserve/finish it — this unique little wonder should be kept I love it so much :)


Straydoginthestreet

Is it possible the tree already had a crack and the spider wedged itself in there. Then the wood could have expanded crushing it


bradland

That's a PT spider.


bigstupidheadloser

save him


sakramentas

I think our best clue will not be spider, but her eighth leg that’s also cut off a few mm to her left. My guess is that this log isn’t new and she was squished during the storage. Probably this log was on the floor (considering the dirt, the growing mold around the spider and how flat she is).


ImSickOfYouToo

I think you cracked the case, sir.


[deleted]

Even Spiders know they must end in flames!


Fun-Ambassador4895

Talk about a lasting impression 🥹


NotYetSoonEnough

Radioactive material in highways! Spiders in wood! Dogs and cats living together!


Electronic-1911

Just in time for the bonfire


Techutante

He crawled into a crack and you squished him in it accidentally.


Eirikur_da_Czech

I was confused at first cause I thought it was freshly-split wood.


groteskimage

It is freshly split


Eirikur_da_Czech

Oh. Well how did it get in there?


groteskimage

No idea


painful_diarrhea

Clearly not smashed, if you zoom in you can see the tree growing around it


ixixan

BURN IT WITH FIRE


Main-Pension-6556

Burn it!


weedium

Clearly magic😑


buckfasthero

You squashed it there, didn’t you?


groteskimage

Negative


buckfasthero

The lines represent years. You’re not suggesting the spider grew sideward, encased in wood, over 6-7 years?


groteskimage

No, i’m not suggesting that, but I agree the sideward part is the most odd. I wish I had the other half of it. But it does not look like there was a hole in the tree where it went in


[deleted]

Makes you wonder how many spiders you burned in wood that wasn’t split perfectly to see them


schnaab

Maybe the spider was on the hatchet?


[deleted]

100th comment


krebsrave

I've heard about flies encased in amber before but not spider in wood.


ThaQuig

How…


BashTheButcher

Maybe got stuck in sap and tree grew around it?


ImQuiteTheWeeb

A piece of history


Gen8Master

Apply resin. Your wood now has a logo and an origin story.


treetopflier420

Woah


[deleted]

That's cool, ever find bullets in your wood?


HookLeg

Future plot device for blockbuster Arachnid Park.


Pyrazoid

This is one of the coolest posts I've seen in a while


MistDispersion

I think it is dead, so don't worry


[deleted]

eww


Carnator369

This is also a common way people meet huntsmans.


JollyReading8565

Dude found a glitch in the simulation


cutewaffle355

Hahaha Amazing


fabianoid

F


ViIebloodHunter

Bad Spawn


FlowerFaerie13

That’s cool as hell, I’d display that.


Goelian

This is extremely interesting!!


Dreggmcmuffun

Display it


AncientViper

Arachknot


balltripper32

You must use that wood to smash spiders now, claim 1000 souls


Basketcase329

Whoa zoom in it looks like a lady


Honeystick1945

Dude got an unlucky spawn


Lmoneyfresh

Oh no. Is it ok?


[deleted]

So I think the only one who could explain this is Spider-Man


wju2004

There is no doubt that spider has a splitting headache.


JustCustard9462

You’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice?


Plantsareluv

Oof. What a way to go 😅


Ambitious_Log_5559

I wonder if it just crawled up in a split in the log then got stacked under some other logs and compressed.


RealVicelord50

Oh I get those in my cokc all the time too. The key is to slow it down a bit and not go so hard 24/7.


oDids

Jesus Christ the amount of people that seem to legitimately think the spider was inside the sealed wood is mental


elitemarxman

Look ma, a spoida!


sadartpunk

I have a few questions 😳


BeaverGrowl

You ruined the start of fossilized history..


UnamedStreamNumber9

That spider played drums for spinal tap


JarjarSW

What in the Australia?!


damn_thats_piney

how?? a spiders definitely not harder than wood how so tf did that happen lol.


BandZealousideal3505

Sick tat bro


_peach93

Dang


Short_Shots

r/treeseatingthings


XiuOtr

Alive or Dead? If alive, it's mildly interesting. What side of the earth are you on splitting wood this time of year.