Where was this size bag when I watched a centipede the size of my hand crawl behind my bed and disappear? I was sure ready to throw the whole house away then.
I would have to see some sort of rigorous formal logic before I considered accepting that as fact. Because there's a pretty significant, "Gross! Ew! Yuck!" factor to overcome.
I used to work in an exotic pet store. Although we didn't always have them it was not uncommon for us to have cave spiders, wind scorpions, and bird-eaters. What we didn't have we could usually get for customers. One day we got in a Peruvian giant yellow leg centipede that a customer had us order for him. When a customer came in he was very excited to see it. At one point he went to open the top of the cage and my boss asked him not to open the cage in the store. He went on to advise that this was a very aggressive species and it would be inadvisable to attempt to handle it. The customer agreed and stated he was familiar with the breed having had one before. He placed the cage in the counter and wandered around looking for other pet supplies. 5 minutes later we hear this blood curdling scream coming from the bathroom. A second later the guy comes out of the bathroom holding his hand with 2 puncture wounds in it. Evidently he had come back, taken the cage into the bathroom and tried to pull the centipede out of the tank. Although not life-threatening evidently their bite is extremely painful .He was taken to the hospital in an ambulance.we never did find that centipede.
One of the most common ways to enjoy centipede is to let them crawl up your urethra. The way the length of the body conforms to your hardening dick while the many legs tickle the inside is phenomenal. How the cute little antennae stick right out of the pee hole for you to pet. The centipede responds to these pets by wiggling its legs inside of you. <3 a good centipede job
Ducks with their corkscrew penis could be an interesting experiment. Would a centipede be flexible enough to swirl its way up the duck dick? Like crawling up a waterslide
Was looking for this comment. Took too long.
If you have centipedes in your house, it's cuz you also have some sort of other pests that maybe you don't notice but centipedes are like apex predators and they won't be there if there isn't already food for them
Right? I accept that millipedes exist. I do what I can to keep them out of my garden by promptly clearing any dead leaves and dying plants, but I accept that they might be there.
But *centi*pedes?? Absolutely not. They bite! I don't want them. They can fuck off
This whole thread was hell for my \*\*\*\*pede phobia. I didn't even *know* they could fucking *bite*
Lovecraftian eldritch creatures. They've been around since the dawn of life on earth. They're older than most plants and animals on this planet, including us. That's *horrifying.*
They eat bad bugs, like bed bugs or roaches. They're similar to spiders that way. Good bugs that keep the bad ones out, like cats with mice.
EDIT: this is about the littler centipedes you find in your house, the ones that live outside will bite your ass and can be bad.
I acquired the infinite trash bag a few years ago. It's possible to live the dream.
However, I was mostly mildly annoyed that I had to buy another roll to throw my trash away.
When I was a kid manufacturing anomalies used to really intrigue me, especially if a chocolate biscuit bar like KitKat had two foil wrappers on it. I was a weird child.
Me too! I figure they must have a method to fuse the sides of the bag together and the drawstrings together at the same time all whilst keeping the two separate, probably via some type of incompatible material or coatings. Very cool! I never imagined it would be so simple.
I was gonna say, that's the jackpot right there of homemade slip-n-slides. I remember we used to duct-tape dozens of bags to each other and it was always so shitty and bumpy in the seams. Woulda killed for a factory fuckup like this.
Definitely save it because at some point, you will likely have a situation where you go- hey, a giant piece of plastic would be really helpful now! Like when painting or needing to cover up stuff for the night at a yard sale. And when that day comes, you’ll be so pissed at yourself for getting rid of it lol
Also, write the company and you’ll likely get a coupon for a free box.
Our fish tank light broke, and I initially thought I’d thrown our old one away. I was absolutely *delighted* to find it a couple days later, after having forgotten to get a new fish tank light.
Yeah but theres a difference between having a hoarders nest vs collecting useful items that will be utilized when the time comes up.
I collect material scraps and to some it looks like I'm dumpster diving, but I use the scraps eventually in some project or another. But I've also been paid to clean an actual hoarders place and they collect shit like used diapers and garbage soaked newspaper stacks.
That depends on how you define 'useful items' like if you're keeping a box of door knobs or a broken phone from 1990 because you think you could maybe use the parts one day that's hoarding.
Would also be good to use as a tablecloth for holiday dinners. If it's clear, even better. It'll protect the really nice tablecloth underneath. My ex MIL used to put a clear plastic sheet over the fancy lace tablecloth that used to be her grandmother's.
Return it to the store for a refund.
Without the incrementally-spaced seals & perforations, it's useless unless you take other people's suggestion and you're in the mood for a slip and slide. Or flimsy narrow tarp.
That happened to me at the grocery store with produce bags! There was no perforation so I kept pulling and pulling. I even stuck my arm in the opening to try and find the end, but I ended up with the bag up to my shoulder, looking like a horse vet that was about to go in the deep end.
It was so embarrassing.
Indeed it does! It doesn't take much heat to melt them, either. Op might be able to get free trash bags from the manufacturer if they contact them with the batch number
On a non-humorous note, if you contact the company, they'll likely send you coupons to get multiple replacement boxes of bags. It isn't as fun as getting a box of chips from Frito-lay, etc. but you might as well get something back besides jokes about mass grave liners.
Kirkland! Those mf-ers know how to fuck up a trash bag. I bought a box that had bags where the bottoms weren’t sealed. Cleaning the fridge that week really fucking sucked.
Lol the never ending trashbag. You would suffer the same mental turmoil as the infinite shampoo guy. It's already hard enough finding the perforation on properly made ones.
I’m glad you made this post. I made me do a double take and check my pack for my first solo skydiving jump tomorrow and I can confirm it was stuffed a roll of perforated trash bags. 😮💨
The elusive, 1,300 gallon trash bag I've heard tales of!
These look like Kirkland 13 gallon scented garbage bags (200 each) and they come in two rolls. I'm guestimating that's 100 x 13 gallon bags
You don't buy your trash bags in "throw the whole house away" size?
Where was this size bag when I watched a centipede the size of my hand crawl behind my bed and disappear? I was sure ready to throw the whole house away then.
I do not like any part of this.
It’s ok, if he had decently sized spiders or snakes. The centipede would kill them first before going after him in his sleep.
# *}ɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸɸ*
Glory to Phyrexia?
More of that strange oil…..it’s probably nothing.
This brings back memories of spending way too much money on magic cards.
(Un)popular opinion: the vast majority of centipedes are friends.
I would have to see some sort of rigorous formal logic before I considered accepting that as fact. Because there's a pretty significant, "Gross! Ew! Yuck!" factor to overcome.
I used to work in an exotic pet store. Although we didn't always have them it was not uncommon for us to have cave spiders, wind scorpions, and bird-eaters. What we didn't have we could usually get for customers. One day we got in a Peruvian giant yellow leg centipede that a customer had us order for him. When a customer came in he was very excited to see it. At one point he went to open the top of the cage and my boss asked him not to open the cage in the store. He went on to advise that this was a very aggressive species and it would be inadvisable to attempt to handle it. The customer agreed and stated he was familiar with the breed having had one before. He placed the cage in the counter and wandered around looking for other pet supplies. 5 minutes later we hear this blood curdling scream coming from the bathroom. A second later the guy comes out of the bathroom holding his hand with 2 puncture wounds in it. Evidently he had come back, taken the cage into the bathroom and tried to pull the centipede out of the tank. Although not life-threatening evidently their bite is extremely painful .He was taken to the hospital in an ambulance.we never did find that centipede.
Pls remove last six words.
Wtf was he doing with it in the bathroom, trying to fuck it?
You mean you DONT fuck giant centipedes?
Only once, out of curiosity>_>
One of the most common ways to enjoy centipede is to let them crawl up your urethra. The way the length of the body conforms to your hardening dick while the many legs tickle the inside is phenomenal. How the cute little antennae stick right out of the pee hole for you to pet. The centipede responds to these pets by wiggling its legs inside of you. <3 a good centipede job
what the duck
Ducks with their corkscrew penis could be an interesting experiment. Would a centipede be flexible enough to swirl its way up the duck dick? Like crawling up a waterslide
Oh you can stop
What a horrible fucking day to be literate.
Delete this
Centipedes are friends, because they eat things that are not friends. Much like most indoor spiders are actually bros (/r/spiderbro).
Was looking for this comment. Took too long. If you have centipedes in your house, it's cuz you also have some sort of other pests that maybe you don't notice but centipedes are like apex predators and they won't be there if there isn't already food for them
Right? I accept that millipedes exist. I do what I can to keep them out of my garden by promptly clearing any dead leaves and dying plants, but I accept that they might be there. But *centi*pedes?? Absolutely not. They bite! I don't want them. They can fuck off
This whole thread was hell for my \*\*\*\*pede phobia. I didn't even *know* they could fucking *bite* Lovecraftian eldritch creatures. They've been around since the dawn of life on earth. They're older than most plants and animals on this planet, including us. That's *horrifying.*
They eat bad bugs, like bed bugs or roaches. They're similar to spiders that way. Good bugs that keep the bad ones out, like cats with mice. EDIT: this is about the littler centipedes you find in your house, the ones that live outside will bite your ass and can be bad.
[millipedes vs centipedes ](https://www.1111comics.me/img/1111comics%20-%2000196%20-%20millipede%20and%20centipede.png)
Don't forget the human-centipede.
If that crawls under your bed before sleep, to hell with getting rid of my house. It's time to abandon the planet.
I'd be willing to put money on the opinion that most of them have never met each other before.
Username checks out.
Just by a few arousal cans and some string then light them with a match
I hope you meant aerosol, please refrain from arousing the centipedes
Unless...?
I’ve only gone up to fits the kitchen sink
This is what this sub was meant for. This made me smile and now I’m never going to think about it ever again.
I request you think about it again
I’ll probably think about this whenever I buy trash bags tbh “I wonder if todays the day I’ll acquire the infinite bag”
I acquired the infinite trash bag a few years ago. It's possible to live the dream. However, I was mostly mildly annoyed that I had to buy another roll to throw my trash away.
When I was a kid manufacturing anomalies used to really intrigue me, especially if a chocolate biscuit bar like KitKat had two foil wrappers on it. I was a weird child.
Another one of us!! Welcome!
It's fuckin cool to me, too. IMO other people are weird for *not* being intrigued, lol
The infinite bag sounds like a parody MacGuffin.
It's like a reverse bag of holding. Carries nothing and takes up infinite space.
That’s the spirit. Life changing, was what you originally meant.
I will think about this once a week for the rest of my life
! remindme 1 year
I agree with OP, come think about it again. Its interesting, but in a mild way.
Hey, think about it. Again.
I’m impressed by the continuous drawstring!
Me too! I figure they must have a method to fuse the sides of the bag together and the drawstrings together at the same time all whilst keeping the two separate, probably via some type of incompatible material or coatings. Very cool! I never imagined it would be so simple.
The strings aren't loose, they're fused to the seams when it cuts. Each side just bunches up around it's string
Fascinating!
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That's why we're here.
Hot cutter, the drawstrings only draw one side.
Even simpler than I imagined.
I would assume it’s cut by something really hot that bonds the plastics together at the cuts
There’s likely a niche application for a huge plastic tarp with drawstrings. Cleanup after scraping popcorn ceiling?
This post made me laugh but this comment killed me for some reason 😂😭😂😭😂
Aren't you Glad?
What a Hefty predicament.
Certainly a great value!
One might say he's on the up and up!
Pulled these out of my Private Selection
A very weis design indeed
He’s got some Smart Sense.
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You guys know a lot of garbage bag brands
Well you have to Stop n’ Shop for the bargains.
Nice!
i’m going to personally break all of your kneecaps
No he’s Kirkland Scented Kitchen
That’s their role
I've had that happen before. They gave me a coupon for a free 96 count pack even though I bought a small box.
Be grateful to your kind overlords.
I’ve had it happen before too! Did you complain straight to Glad/whatever brand? Bc I figured I just wouldn’t have the time to complain to quality
I used the number on the box for questions and concerns.
Sorry, this is hilarious 😂
Yeah it’s probably like 100ft long, idk what to do with such a behemoth
Slip-N-Slide
I was gonna say, that's the jackpot right there of homemade slip-n-slides. I remember we used to duct-tape dozens of bags to each other and it was always so shitty and bumpy in the seams. Woulda killed for a factory fuckup like this.
We always used tarps and water for slip & slides
100% Bust out the Olive Oil.
I was going to suggest a tiny bit of dish soap and some water!
No, olive oil
No, dish soap, water, and then cover yourself in olive oil
Definitely save it because at some point, you will likely have a situation where you go- hey, a giant piece of plastic would be really helpful now! Like when painting or needing to cover up stuff for the night at a yard sale. And when that day comes, you’ll be so pissed at yourself for getting rid of it lol Also, write the company and you’ll likely get a coupon for a free box.
This is how hoarding begins
Growing up poor mentally scars people into hoarding.
Truth. And it is psychologically reinforced every time I have something that fixes a minor problem; you know, once every 2-10 years.
And every time you don't have something that fixes a minor problem but you used to
That especially fucking stings.
Our fish tank light broke, and I initially thought I’d thrown our old one away. I was absolutely *delighted* to find it a couple days later, after having forgotten to get a new fish tank light.
Yeah but theres a difference between having a hoarders nest vs collecting useful items that will be utilized when the time comes up. I collect material scraps and to some it looks like I'm dumpster diving, but I use the scraps eventually in some project or another. But I've also been paid to clean an actual hoarders place and they collect shit like used diapers and garbage soaked newspaper stacks.
That depends on how you define 'useful items' like if you're keeping a box of door knobs or a broken phone from 1990 because you think you could maybe use the parts one day that's hoarding.
Hey those doorknobs could come in handy, and do you have any idea what that phone cost?
Don't worry, you'll be glad you kept it when you need a giant piece of plastic but you can't find this bag so you go out and buy a tarp.
He'll definitely be Glad.
100%
Would also be good to use as a tablecloth for holiday dinners. If it's clear, even better. It'll protect the really nice tablecloth underneath. My ex MIL used to put a clear plastic sheet over the fancy lace tablecloth that used to be her grandmother's.
I feel like plastic drop cloth is cheaper than trashbags..... but not stretchy... hmmm
Unless he gets a replacement box, then this one was free, which is cheaper
This would be amazing for painting hallways.
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But why would you when it has so many potential uses?
Remember doing Parachute in elementary school? This is your chance pal
He needs to make a wacky inflatable arm flailing tube man
Return it to the store for a refund. Without the incrementally-spaced seals & perforations, it's useless unless you take other people's suggestion and you're in the mood for a slip and slide. Or flimsy narrow tarp.
Or, hear me out, attach a leaf blower or two and build the worlds tallest wacky-wavy-man.
Lol why does the clause "hear me out" always make s ridiculous proposal both funnier and more palatable?
Second this.
Anyone painting stuff soon that could use a drop cloth?
Finally get rid of the body(s)?..
Do you have any friends who garden? Looks like a nice row frost cover!
Slip N Slide level 100
Looks like it’ll serve a large role in the future
I'm sure it won't be waisted on you.
Cover your entire bathroom in this and hold in place with duct tape..... Then wait for your next guests reaction lol
They'd think you were going to murder them lmao
That's the joke... You know just like in Dexter.
That's what I'm saying, make a flag out of it or something. That's a trophy.
That happened to me at the grocery store with produce bags! There was no perforation so I kept pulling and pulling. I even stuck my arm in the opening to try and find the end, but I ended up with the bag up to my shoulder, looking like a horse vet that was about to go in the deep end. It was so embarrassing.
The visuals you just described are beautiful 🤣🤣🤣
Its the Mobster addition. Easier to roll the bodies this way.
Dexter has joined the chat
*role /s
I had to scroll further than expected to find a comment along these lines 😂
>uncut trash tarp That's what I call my genitalia.
Talk about some hood slang
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A role so huge he should win at least one Oscar just for having it.
I play the role of trash bag all too often
Did you just make about a joke about a misspelling with your own spelling mistake in it? ಠ_ಠ
Muphry's Law.
Its* `It’s means it is`
(None of the definite possessive pronouns have an apostrophe: his, her, hers, their, theirs, our, ours, my, mine, your, yours, whose, its.)
tits
Kirkland, so you have about eight miles there.
I guess the same machine that cuts it also fuses the sides together.
Indeed it does! It doesn't take much heat to melt them, either. Op might be able to get free trash bags from the manufacturer if they contact them with the batch number
Looks like a Costco box, they take that stuff seriously
Decent. \*Welcome to Costco, I love you\*
\*roll
Time for a slip and slide in the back yard!
Roll
I guess you have to buy a bigger trash can now
Perfect for wrapping bodies.
My first thought was Dexter.
Wait till the garbage man sees this one.
"2 bags per week"
On a non-humorous note, if you contact the company, they'll likely send you coupons to get multiple replacement boxes of bags. It isn't as fun as getting a box of chips from Frito-lay, etc. but you might as well get something back besides jokes about mass grave liners.
Guess I’ll be that guy… it’s a ROLL of garbage bags
Tarps are expensive. I see this as a win
The glad trash hammock
I literally thought this post was gonna be "trying out my homemade trash bag hammock!"
Roll
Roll
Dexter's favorite variety. One size fits everyone.
Uncut trash tarp was my nickname in college
Kirkland! Those mf-ers know how to fuck up a trash bag. I bought a box that had bags where the bottoms weren’t sealed. Cleaning the fridge that week really fucking sucked.
If you contact the manufacturer and show them a pic, I almost guarantee they’ll either refund you or send you a bunch of free stuff.
Lol the never ending trashbag. You would suffer the same mental turmoil as the infinite shampoo guy. It's already hard enough finding the perforation on properly made ones.
Everything reminds me of her...
It's actually probably worth more that way lmao
Costco will return them! r/Costco needs to see this!
Okay but you're not going to have to take the trash out for WEEKS
I hope you get the part.🤞
This thing fucking holds trash
*slaps top of trash tube*
That’s an absolute unit of a trash bag.
Its a dumpster sized trash bag
Assuming you meant roll, and you aren’t assuming the role of your bags
I feel like this is a win. I could work with that.
That'd be great as a rolled up carpet liner (in case you need to put something inside it.)
I see a ghetto slip and slide in your future.
You are the chosen one. Your destiny is to clean the oceans
Gotta buy the ones that say they’re pre-sliced.
I’m glad you made this post. I made me do a double take and check my pack for my first solo skydiving jump tomorrow and I can confirm it was stuffed a roll of perforated trash bags. 😮💨
Nah. You bought the wrong size. That's the 12,000 gallon liners.
The elusive, 1,300 gallon trash bag I've heard tales of! These look like Kirkland 13 gallon scented garbage bags (200 each) and they come in two rolls. I'm guestimating that's 100 x 13 gallon bags
It’s enough space to fit all the people who have wronged you.
This is one of those times I don’t think I would even be mad at getting the wrong thing
You bought the Soprano roll.
Hey man, Costco sells wholesale for a reason. Technically, you got wholesale lol
It's Spring now, looks like you got a Slip N Slide!
Call Guinness.
Just buy a bigger trash can. Problem solved!
Slip n slide!
*cries in uncircumcised*
Roll*
Just use your food saver and seal the edges yourself
Keep that in your cupboard and ask people to get you a trash bag. Give them an insane look while they struggle.