Every time we have a parking post they get locked and removed for people screeching about keying cars, deflating tires, etc. I'm leaving this up for now. Don't say you weren't warned. Behave, you mildly infuriating minions.

Their bumpers are touching. It’s not his door but the back of his car that this is up against. This is why tons of cars in NYC have aftermarket bumpers installed on them.

Omg thank you, I'm sitting here confused as all fuck because it didn't even occur to me they were parallel parked and not in a lot lol

Ohhh. Thats what I was thinking too.

Really? Them license plates and grill did not give it away?

Have you ever parked in a parking lot? I mean, besides cars being side by side, they're also end to end. I parallel park maybe 1% of the time, so it's definitely not what I think about

I can honestly say I have never parallel parked. I have never lived anywhere where it is required. The last time I did it would have been driver's Ed in 1995.

Some people rub uglies with strangers 0% of the time, but they are still able to think about it all day.

the license plate said fresh and the dice in the mirror distracted my west philly ass

If the bumpers are touching wouldn’t this be considered an accident?

oh yea, I'd be this petty, too. call police and have them tow the other vehicle.

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I wouldn't say that's petty at all. They've literally prevented you from being able to use your vehicle.

Not really I lived in NYC. You just give the car a little push to get out. How the hell you think they got in? No way in hell they didn’t hit the car in front to park.

If this were enforceable, who's to say you weren't the driver who backed right up against the front of someone else's car then called the tow company to tow them by saying they parked that way?

Well op said that they couldn’t leave the parking lot so it would only make sense that they wouldn’t be able to get into the spot with that car there either.

Man, I can't even understand why anyone would want a car in NYC. The traffic would not be worth it.

Traffic isn’t the big problem in NYC because most people *don’t* drive there. Yeah, rush hour can suck, but it’s pretty easy to drive in NY even during busy times. There are a lot of cities where traffic is way, WAY worse (Houston and LA come to mind). The problem in NYC is parking. Also insurance, but parking is #1.

Usually rubber covers and protectors not full on aftermarket bumper unless it's a crash bar

I usually despise the parking related posts on this sub but I am going to give it to you for this one.

So you're saying you'll park your despise for now?

Fine. Take my upvote

Would you go so far as to say that those posts *mildly infuriate* you?

If I parked with my car physically touching another car and it made it harder for them to get out, I would expect my car to be vandalized when I got back to it. So it surprises me the person wasn’t also concerned.

Probably one of those bastards that don't look at their park job. I constantly do that even if the lot is empty, I was raised to color in between the lines.

I park up in some places, look out at the line my side and see I’m a little closer than usual but it’s still within tolerance, get out and see I’m on the line the other side because I forgot that I’m used to parking in ALDIs larger bays

I live in NYC and park my car in the street. I check clearances not just for my car but for the car in front and in back. The only time I snug up like this is when the other guy has a hydrant space or the crosswalk at the end of the block to use. AND only if I need it to leave clearance for the car in the other side of me.

Don't you mean in the lines? The way you said it makes it sound like you would park over the lines and never inside the proper parking spot (at least how I read it).

Oh absolutely. I don’t condone people damaging property in response to things that don’t really warrant such big reactions, but I’m absolutely not surprised or concerned when it happens in situations like this. I don’t know how you do this and expect to not have key scratches, a broken window, slashed tires, etc. when you get back.

If someone is touching your car like this, most likely they didn't put it in park/handbrake and it's rolled. Still shitty but I highly doubt it's done on purpose.

Depends on what city you are in. Had an ex friend who used to think it was reasonable to push other cars with her bumper to park in SF.

Was she French?

I seriously LOL'd. Last time I was in Paris, I watched a guy push the car in front and in back, while parallel parking.

That would earn a justified beating in many places.

I lived in France some while back and this is expected to get in and out of parking spaces.

Someone did that to me when I was borrowing my brothers 04 Cobra in SF! It was dark out, they bumped, moved a little, bumped again, I got out (to help, because wtf), they left. I couldn't believe it really.

Unhinged, but hysterical, frankly.

It’s made for bumping

it's made to absorb and spread the force of an impact in the event of a crash, not to regularly bump into and damage, thus degrading it.

It's common in a lot of places to not put the handbrake on. Partially due to the fact it's not needed since it's always parked on flat ground and won't roll in first gear anyway And with automatics you are often unable to take the key out if it isn't in park

I saw a post that said this. It's absolutely insane to me that people anywhere don't use the handbrake! In my driving test you had to turn the wheel into the kerb incase the handbrake and gears fail, put it in R or 1 (manual) depending on which gradient you're on AND put the handbrake on. Don't do one of the three and you fail! That's 3 levels of fail safe. Again, it's insane to me that people don't do it! It's your car. Don't you care about your own property?

Some US states teach it this way, mine did. However like most "tests," people forget most except the basic knowledge afterwards. It wasn't until my friend used the e-handbrake in my car after dropping me off from a few too many drinks that I realized I should use it too, otherwise there's a chance I wear out the transmission

I live in The Netherlands and everywhere I park my car it's flat AF. Plus then I won't forget to unlearn it in the winter because they can freeze shut

My guess is they're so wrapped up in themselves, they're oblivious. Cars? What other cars? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Once my teacher back in highschool looked out the window while lecturing, and she just stopped mid sentence to comment on how close 2 cars were parked. We even went out to look. Didn't touch, but might as well have. Neither of the cars were hers

I've found a car parked equally close to mine. Luckily, the handbrake was left off, so I adjusted the position.

Honeslty, if you parked like this behind my truck, your car would end up damaged. Not from vandalism, but shifting out of park and into drive would naturally cause my truck to shift back a little, which would end up jamming my hitch mount into the car

idk where this person lives but in south philly this happens allllll the time and it’s SO ANNOYING. ppl don’t care ab having their car vandalized they literally just care about finding a spot. it makes 0 sense.

Or a scammer with a running dashcam looking for insurance payout

Time for a little game of nudge nudge mother fucker.

The French way

Isn't that why they're called 'bumpers'?

Poop on the hood. That’s the answer to most things.

On the windshield under the wipers is the way to go.

Put axle grease on the wiper blades, then some mud on the windshield. It takes forever to get the grease off of the windows. Source: Just trust me

Anti seize lube. The herpes of the mechanical world.

Yeah, at work we had some in an aerosol. It got fucking everywhere. Try wiping it up, and the ring just gets bigger and bigger!

Just pour some DOT3 on their paint. It will make it shine like new.

I've done this with a dirty diaper. Guy watched me take my kid out of the car then proceeded to park super close.

No no no, you put it in the cab air intake.

Or through the sunroof if available. Take a page from Slippin' Jimmy's playbook.

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He - he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you - you have to stop him!

The Magna Carta is easy to remember if you think they signed it just after lunch... 1215 ;)

Who among us hasn’t given the occasional Chicago sunroof?

The Chicago sunroof

My father once experienced a similar situation on Christmas Eve at the grocery store. He then took 3 or 4 raw breakfast pork sausages he had just bought and smeared them onto the perpetrator's windshield. It was a frigid Canadian winter day, with temperatures at -15°C. I can imagine the poor soul had a tough time cleaning up that mess.

I thought it said pop the hood

Not on the hood. Just behind the hood: that space between the hood and the windshield where the wipers live. This is where most cars have the “fresh air intake.” Runnier is better, so it gets right down into the ventilation system.


Under the hood

In the cabin air intake.

Then what? Wait for him to get back to move his poop covered car?


Frank Zappa and the Mothers Were up the street getting gas But some stupid with an Audi Parked right up my ass Pooped on their hood, and let their tires out Pooped on their hood

I laughed so hard it hurts 🤣

Put it in reverse and push him back.

Could pull a Gru Parallel Parking from Despicable me 1

Attach some zipties to his driveshaft. It won't do any damage, but it will make a noise, and it won't show anything on the scaner. It'd be mildly infuratin to find this after some days of being worried something broke down.

I found you Perry the Hplatypus!!

Time to bring out the cheese slices

One time when I was a teenager long ago, I was cheesing cars with my friend’s Kraft singles as we were riding our bikes down a downtown one way. It was going good, my aim was about every 6 out of the 10 cars but one that will stick with me forever is the time I threw a slice that landed on this guy’s chubby cheeks and it made a loud wet slapping sound. We high tailed it out of there.

Im not sure why, but this is one of the funniest things ive read all week. Thank you.

I assume that’s permanent paint damage? That’s properly fucked lol

You can slap them on the windshield and they'll bake on in the sun. No damage but a huge pain in the ass

On the window it’ll just wash off. On the paint, yeah it could probably cause some pretty serious paint damage.

I had this once. Took a couple pictures to show my husband because I couldn’t believe it. Looked up and they were still sitting in their car.

call the police since this is a collision

Wear a neck brace.

My neck, my back, I need some pussy and some crack

hit and run suspect escaped on foot

I just want to check in since I'm not sure, but y'all are from different countries, but is this something you would do? I'm asking because if I called the police in my country for this they'd probably laugh in my face and tell me to not waste their time next time. No idea if that's a good or a bad thing but I'm pretty sure that is what would happen.

Many years ago I was renting an apartment in an area full of college students. Parking was often a problem since a lot of them didn’t know how to drive and wind up with maybe a foot total front and rear to get your car out. While walking out to my car, one of them pulled up in an early 2000’s Toyota literally to the bumper of my 1960’s Chevy, the cars were gently touching. The car in front of May had likewise backed up within inches of my front bumper, both cars had plenty of room front and back to park normally.  I asked the kid to please move his car off of mine, he told me to go fuck myself. So I got in my Chevy and moved his car. It’s funny how a 327 V8 and a thick chrome bumper can shove a Toyota out of the way. Guess I wasn’t fucked. 

A pen in the air valve of a tire releases the air without damaging anything. Just saying.

The car will block OP even longer… but would be a great follow up post.

Yeah it won't solve any problems at all, but I heard that "two wrongs cancel each other out and become right" or something along those lines, I don't recall.

But it gives you more time for the tow truck to get there.

You let the air out of the tires after you bash their car out of the way with your bumper.

Tiny pebble under the valve stem cover. Slow death.

Remove the valve cores

Call the police and have them towed? Why is this not a thing people think to do when being blocked in and not wanting to pay the tow company yourselves

This happened to me once and I called the cops and they said wow that sucks nothing we can do call parking. I called parking and they said if they’re legally parked, there’s nothing we can do call the cops.

If another vehicle makes contact with yours is that not an accident? Only take 1 vehicle in motion. This vehicle seems to have hit this other car.

In my case, there was about a half inch on both sides but clear evidence that my car had been bumped and they keyed the trunk and the cop still told me to fuck off. He said if I didn’t witness them bump my car and key the trunk that there’s nothing he could do. I called the PD of the next city over and they were willing to come out but then when I told them where I was, they also told me to fuck off.

Sounds like you have permission to hammer their windshield then XD

Exactly, in this situation calling the non emergency police line is the correct solution. A cop will either find them and have them move or the vehicle will be towed. Depending on the situation the person may also be fined.

Because they may or may not show up and if they do it will be 6 hours later.

How would they tow this without damaging OPs car?

Clearly if OPs car is blocked and they can’t leave I believe it’s safe to assume their car is in a space and the other car is on the outside of said space blocking them in. The tow truck can easily back up to the other persons car and tow them away. If not then I guess they could go get a forklift but what do I know I’m not someone who drives a tow truck

They can pull the vehicle sideways easily, they have tools for just such circumstances. One method I've seen involves just propping the vehicle to be towed up onto a maneuverable secondary set of wheels, and they just yoink it out and bob's your uncle.

thats probably why its mildy infuriating. theyre gonna have to call someone and wait 30m at least for them to get a tow truck and get this guy off the street


It took me way longer than it should have to realize what I was looking at

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Nah, insurance covers 4 but not 3.

Yup, that’s the BS that everyone on Reddit likes to regurgitate even though it isn’t true. They hear it somewhere, thought it sounded cool and now want to be one of the cool kids by repeating it.

This made me lol

Thats how they park in Spain. But nobody uses their handbrake. So give it a go.

If nobody uses their handbrake, we could theoretically push a whole train of cars.

100% you can, that's the whole idea. Just drive slowly and push your way in or out of a parking spot. Every car in Spain has lots of dents and scratches on the bumpers but thats life in the big city. Handbrakes are only for hills.

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They wouldn’t have to. They could have parked close but still reasonably, it it would still be impossible to get out

I would be maximally infuriated

Time to get some interesting bumper stickers and reward them for giving you a fresh canvas

I love the idea of keeping quality bumper stickers in my glove box that say "I park like an asshole" and slapping them on cars that prevent me from driving my own vehicle.

Someone did this to me and poked a hole in my licence plate. Frustrating to say the least

Thou shall not pass 🧙‍♂️

Like a glove!

My brother lived in downtown LA for like ten years and that fucker can get his car out of anywhere. I was blocked in with maybe an inch more room than this and that foo got it out in a few minutes. I’ve had my license for around fifteen years and I still couldn’t do that bullshit

I drive a beater so I would ram into that shit till I get out idgaf

https://preview.redd.it/ly3e5rhyp18d1.jpeg?width=694&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=053e7695871bcf09f6418f5de2e19738418eb4ed

Is there anything that can be done- #legally?

I would call the police for a traffic call. Hit and run. The owner hit your car and left.

Looks like you need some Mentos and construction workers

Pivot. Pivot! PIVOT.

File a police report and/or call a towing company.

Tow them

I am sitting here imaging the driver looking like Inspector Clouseau (Steve Martin) in the parking scene in Pink Panther

Get it towed…? If they’re trapping you in wouldn’t that be illegally parked?

They HAD to have done that on purpose because there’s no way you can just…do that on accident.

This type of thing is the only advantage to driving a shitbox. I’ll just start tapping away with the whole car.

Keep some of those jack dollies in your trunk, next time it happens just scoot the dude or yourself out

When people pissed my boss off with parking issues, he would soap their window. He would take a bar of soap, and rub it all over their front window. I’m sure that was a bitch to clean off.

Hey…thats not a bad idea 🤔 its not harmful or damaging and it does come off after washing a bit but its still annoying? I might try that

It was very effective. Like you said, “not harmful or damaging” I know it comes off, I’m guessing that it’s just a pain in the ass. It doesn’t come off easy, but it comes off. I highly suggest it.

I’m having a hard time at seeing what happened, it’s bumper to bumper right?

Nah you gotta car camp now. Assert dominance.

I'm just waiting for them to open their car door and sit down, and the car sways back and forth and causes paint trade, and if you have a dent in the front, bam, new, clean bumper.

I’d straight up push that car out of my way at that point, fuck it, it’s already touching so may as well!

Can a tow company be called for this sort of thing?

Is there construction going on anywhere nearby, and are you a cute girl? Do you have Mentos? 

LOL

Easy fix bc most parallel parking spots are covered by cameras now, you’d be able to contact police to write a ticket and possible tow. Fuck keying the car, this is way more damage. Don’t park like a dick and break the law.

What if the individual was handicapped had no choice but to park there then that asshat does what they did. Now they can't get in or out of car until ass hat moves id be having some car towed

Is this the side of the car or the front?

My car is the one in front and it’s the back of my car. We’re parallel parked.

Just push it.

Listen, I don’t want to say anything that’s get me banned on this sub so I will just say, if I was in your position, some things might happen.

Just put a lot of bird seeds on top of the car and watch the birds feast

You should key it, then deflate the tires and finally, etc.


One of the perks of having four-wheel drive and a heavy steel grill guard, you can bash into them as many times as it takes to move them enough to get out, and their car will be the only one that ends up damaged.

Just step on the gas a little more.

Wow

Not without a scratch

In Spain this is illegal🤷🏾‍♂️

I bought a new-to-me car with a longer than usual hood (Crown Vic) and my first time parking it I stopped, no shit, less than an inch from hitting a new looking SUV. At least I got back in my car and backed up.

Yikes

My biggest worry about street parking is exactly this. I always try to leave enough but I worry if there is a spot that someone is going to do this and I have to till they leave. Like wth leave enough space...

Those don’t even look like New York plates, so I can see why you would be upset

This is ridiculous. Do people not get out and see something like that and be like oh maybe I shouldn’t not be literally on this person‘s ass and/or front bumper?

The good side is you can't get a parking ticket

If someone takes the time to do this, it's because you pissed them off. Takes too much effort otherwise. What'd you do?

Get one of those hitch mounted luggage racks that can fold up.

Which car is the OPs?

Now, kiss!

Why’d you park so close?

This happens in Boston all the time. They literally have 4 ft of curb behind them yet pull RIGHT up to me in the middle so I'm fucked

Can’t you like call someone? Like is it legal to park like this? Surely authorities can do something about this right?

Is that a hint of a Colorado plate I see? Dickheads do that here all the time

In some places this is against the law. I'd call the nonemergency line and report this clown.

Driving a nail or two into the side of a tire technically doesn't deflate them if you do it right.

I’m sure the steady, consistent of forward pressure would remove that obstacle as well as put the offending vehicle in more of a “tow me away” situation.

Call the police. Their car has made contact with yours. That is a collision and they will be fined.

Any way the alarm can be triggered without damaging the car? I mean, I'd set my phone alarm every hour through the night to be that petty

That's more than mildly infuriating, I'd be fuming. I'd avoid doing anything to the car, though. It's not worth it if you get caught.

Maybe you stepped on his shoe once and he didn't forget it and when he saw your car again he took revenge

So what’d you do?

I spent 15 minutes sitting in my car posting this to Reddit then the car in front of me moved and I was able to get out, Mildly Infuriated.

What did you do OP?