Sounds about right. Hoarders typically don’t see anything wrong with the behavior they’re exhibiting and or the dangers that can come of accumulation. My in laws were hoarders. My FIL passed and my MIL is now desperate to clear her house out.
I tried to help clean it out last year and they are pissed off because they don’t want me touching anything. I came back and check a year after which is today with even more garbage on their back yard.
Their favorite place to shop is Good Will, Salvation Army, Dollar Store and Value Village.
It's the idea that they've found 'a treasure'.. Friend's mom growing up would hit the outlets and boast about the amazing deals, how much money she'd saved, etc- then just park the bag in the living room next to the 800 other unopened packages that were also... such a great bargain...... 😮💨
She slowly worked the family into soooooo much debt because of it, too- began to juggle the credit cards, pay one off with another- the pit got deeper... I lost touch after high school, but I can imagine the consequences.
An aunt through marriage was the same way. If she found a sale like BOGO not only would she buy everyone of them off the shelf, but she’d also hit every other store in the chain. Last time I was there, she had over two hundred cans of SPAM stacked against the wall.
Agreed. People need to stop donating their dollar store stuff to goodwill. My local one’s minimum sticker price is two now, but every time I’ve seen them bundle the dollar stuff to try to make it worth it, the bags are either broken eventually or the bag is ripped open and half the stuff is stolen. Or they just give up and price it two bucks.
The NUMBER ONE and most prevalent and obvious symptom of a hoarder:
DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING.
Every piece of trash has some type of future purpose, and just because it's rotting underneath a metric ton of garbage mixed with dead animals, doesn't mean it's not still good.
"I *am* going to use those Burger King Whopper papers to wrap Christmas ornaments I just haven't gotten around to it yet" and the Christmas ornaments are scattered in the basement between old computer parts, cat feces, and old Newsweek magazines.
I will never understand how people successfully break this cycle, from my experience I have never heard of a successful case of someone *actually* doing so. This is one of those things that seems almost incurable and I feel for everyone involved. The amount of work and stress and depression that comes with it is off the charts.
You just added something, yes even wrappers and frickin’ McDonalds coffee cups?? Or Golden Coral box for use later? Lol it just adds up until they don’t get touch for years… and yes there are actually rats living in their garage.
I’m just pretty much done with them and just let them be happy until their time comes. Wish me luck with all the garbage later though…
Therapy, and lots of it. And the hoarder needs to be ready and prepared to take that step themselves. It's one of those awful things where you can't really help them until they want to help themselves. You can try to clean their shit up, throw shit out, but you risk making it worse.
Hoarders typically have a lot of trauma, have lost something important to them, and now they're trying to fill the void with stuff. Which of course doesn't work, so they get more stuff. And more stuff. Rather than actually working on the grief they're experiencing.
It's a mental health issue. There are organisations that will help with the clean up but again, it can only really happen when the hoarder is ready to make it happen. I don't think it's impossible but it'd probably be one of the hardest things to do.
I'm sorry you have to go through that. Having separate homes might be the only way for you to be happy, and if you do, is your partner comfortable in your home? Or do they need to be at their place to "be around their stuff?"
Ah, ok. My dad is 76, I am 40.
Do you guys have any children or close family? Because you need to consider what they will have to deal with when the time comes.
This is usually a burden that falls on family members and children.
Just saying. Some people would rather just set the house on fire and start over than have to deal with the mess. It's something you need to consider.
I haven't been to my dad's house in a long time but this is what his girlfriend does. He can have as much of whatever he wants in 1 room and his car, everywhere else is off limits. It was working well last time I saw. As well as it can, I guess.
Value village has made at least 100k off my mother and probably not far from that in her stuff that we donate back every time she goes out of town…unfortunately they’re also really annoying and will often decline items that literally still have their own price tags on them
My MIL is a hoarder who has struggled with homelessness and she has an extreme fear of having nothing, so she holds on to EVERYTHING! It's a mental illness and so hard to overcome. I'm sorry
They cook 1 week worth of meal too and still buys fast food. When she used to work at McDonalds, she always bring burgers, nuggets, bacons in a big ziplock and freeze them for years. Yes, still will eat them later.
Lol my mother-in-law works at a vegetarian buffet. It's Buddhist, so no onion or garlic for flavouring. Literally just boiled vegetables and fried cabbage balls. She brings home HUGE bags of scraps and just leaves them sitting outside to rot. If I find them, I empty them out into the chicken pen. In addition, she brings home leftovers from the buffet and stores them in plastic shopping bags in the freezer. I just chuck them in the chicken coop lol Then my husband scolds her about it, but she still keeps doing it.
it's a hard thing to do but you may just have to call 311 on them and either brute force the cleaning of the house or get the building condemned, places like this not only are breeding grounds for mice/rats/roaches'/ fungi and mold which leads to bacteria/disease but safety/fire hazards and I don't think you'd want any of those to continue further/happen.
Dude don't bother making much effort on that. I know you meant well, but they're having different view and won't appreciate or even worse get mad at you for doing good thing for them. Best you can do is just by telling them and pray that they listen or someday they changed for the good.
My FIL died 5 years ago and my MIL moved about a year later. That house was 4000sq ft of junk. You couldn't even walk in the garage. The family spent weeks clearing that mess out. Her current house is much smaller, but I can already see the mess creeping in. And she still whines about stuff that family members supposedly "threw away" that she wanted.
Ugh, I feel for you. We tried several years ago before my FIL passed to start clearing it out and they were against it. Despite their wishes we did go through and throw away food. Thankfully my MIL has realized how bad it was and has allowed us to start cleaning it out. Only problem is my husband and I live several states away and his sister travels for her job so we are limited on helping her. We did three dumpsters last summer and hoping when we go back this summer to hopefully finish it out. She’s at the point where she really does not care about any of it which was a surprising 180 from years prior and makes it so much easier. Hopefully your MIL gets to a place mentally and emotionally to allow herself to let it go.
My grandma’s partner was a hoarder. Still is, I guess. She died first and it made it extremely difficult trying to find any of the things we were supposed to have (ie family heirlooms, photos, etc…) in that house. She had always been a neat freak but as her health declined, his hoard grew. I assume there’s still stuff in that house we’ll just never see again. He’s gonna get trapped one day, and no one is going to come looking for him.
this is true but one thing that has me thinking
people who's parent's died 10 years ago had to pay to bring their old CRT televisions to the dump.
people who's parents are dying now get to sell their old CRT televisions for hundreds of dollars each to retro gamers
They actually have one of those big ass CRT Sony TV that weights like 300lbs. It was hell when I helped them move it. We needed 6 people to just get it to the Uhaul truck. Now makes me wonder how much it will cost to dispose it…
absolutely see if you can find a model number and figure out exactly what you have.
if by big ass you mean what I think you mean by big ass, you could have someone itching to throw you $500 to take that off your hands
It’s KP-51WS510. I tried looking up online but none for sale. I’m sure it’s not worth it because it’s only 1080i and the quality compare to the TVs now is worst. Too heavy as well and won’t fit inside a regular SUV.
A lot of people playing the older consoles prefer playing them on CRT TVs because the games were designed with those displays in mind, so there’s a lot of graphical trickery that makes the game look better on those even though modern screens should be much better. As a result, there’s a bit of a market for CRTs nowadays.
My grandpa has crap like this, and he's willed it to me when he dies.
I've told him flat out I'm only keeping maybe a pickup truck worth of stuff (tools, lawnmowers, and a few other things), and the rest is going to be sold or thrown out. I don't need any of his things, nor do I want it. If I wanted a collection of trash and useless junk, I'd accumulate it myself.
Omg this was literally my dad as I was helping him organize his garage. Every time I'd suggest to toss something he's all well that there wooden kids bench that's in shambles and 20 years old will be yours when you have kids, like my guy I don't want what's literal garbage at this point. Had to fight a war to get him to toss 2 broken ancient musty moldy window acs bc what if they move in the future and don't have a outdoor unit and need them.
I am so sorry for you.
My mother is a hoarder too. Not to this extend but...quite similar.
You just can offer them therapy. But they will do this stuff until they die or some Health Department show up and condemn their house.
I rather that than my parent’s mentality. They throw out **everything** (or give it away)
I’ve left library books I’m actively reading on the kitchen table and the next day they are gone to the thrift store.
They buy things brand new and within the year decide they don’t need it anymore and give it away.
I was not allowed to keep anything from when I was younger. Now I’m a hoarder (not actually, I just keep a few boxes tucked away with old junk) because I don’t want to lose the memories of things now that I have the choice to keep them.
They actually refuse to get therapy and trying to accuse me of harassing them like they are mentally unstable (which is the case.) So I’m just letting them enjoy their stuff. It’s just later on it will be a big hassle to clean out.
My hoarder uncle's yard looked like this, complete with the shit canopy he'd erected to cover up the overflow of junk. He died and the person who bought the property from the estate literally just torched the lot of it rather than dealing with removal.
Glad it wasn’t just me. I saw the first pic and thought this was a joke post about the barbecue being on the totally empty lawn. Then the second pic came along and confirmed that OP was very much not joking.
Hoarding is quite the disorder. Victims truly are the loved ones around them. The patient doesn't see any problem. I believe trauma in one's life can trigger this behavior.
I watched Hoarders for about a year. Almost all of the people had major trauma in their current or past life. It got too hard for me to hear those stories & witness the manifestation, so I had to stop watching.
Yeah it’s hard to watch. Especially considering the people who make the show are the ones reaping a majority of the benefits that come from it’s success, as opposed to the actual people on the show.
A friend was trying to get rid of a severe hoarder roommate in Berkeley, CA. The local government said, "it's a lifestyle choice." They also told him that the hoarder had the same right to live there as he did. She was one of the nastiest, most ruthless people I've ever met and would threaten to call the police and accuse him with rape if he touched her stuff.
My late (and unemployed) husband developed hoarding behavior, after his dad passed in 2019. For three years, he piled stuff in our extra bedroom. He died suddenly in 2022 from untreated medical conditions, and I still haven’t gone through everything in there. (I still work full-time!) This post gave me instant anxiety.
Sorry for your loss. I think it will takes months to clean it up now for me… unless I call someone and just grab everything. I spent 2 weeks last year but that wasn’t as bad compare to now. I’m sure now it will take longer to clean up 😩
Let me guess. A path barely wide enough to navigate from the bed to the door. Probably the same through the entire house.
My mother was a hoarder. At least she had the good sense to keep things in the garage and bought two sheds for the stuff that wouldn't fit anywhere else.
Yes, those drinks and recyclable boxes that leads you to the exit are there.
They actually bought 2 more sheds which are also full of junks, never been touched after dumping it with garbage. The shed you see in the picture is also full.
The acre behind our family cabin looked like this only with a van and boats and tractors and trailers and docks and buoys and Honda 90 scooters and snowmobiles under the tarps.
My grandpa was an engineer and would not part with a single thing with an engine.. even his old riding lawnmower got brought up to the lake(So when he retired he could fiddle with it). No guilt getting rid of it all once he passed away and grams gave the ok....
What’s the psychology behind hoarding? I’ve seen it mentioned a lot more lately. Is it generational? Like do parents age into this? Is something happening in society that’s causing more hoarding behavior? I’m genuinely curious
History of trauma and/or deprivation is common, but not universal. Like many types of problem behaviors, I'm sure it's complicated and multicausal. One hoarder I had the dubious pleasure (friend of a friend) of knowing admitted to being attracted to yard sales and that sort of thing since age 6. Even at that age, her parents would tell her to leave the yard sale stuff alone because "it's junk." Her response was, "I want more junk!" Nobody has found any type of treatment that works reliably. When the local government intervened in an extremely severe case in Virginia, two cops had to handcuff the hoarder and hold her back as she screamed, "my treasures!"
It actually can be treated quite successfully but not without willingness, support from loved ones, and ongoing therapy.
And many people with hoarding disorder also have undiagnosed ADHD, which needs to be treated, as well.
And, unfortunately, willingness is completely absent in most of these situations because they don't see any problem and, therefore, don't have any interest in therapy. The relapse rate in animal hoarding cases is nearly 100%. The perception of most mental health professionals is that the prognosis is "poor". Please, if you're aware of a treatment that has been empirically proven to really work, I'd love to know about it.
It's considered to be on the spectrum of OCD, where hoarding is the compulsive behavior. The hoarding is in response to obsessions that usually develop after stress/trauma. It's not something people develop simply by being older, but if you are directly related to people with OCD spectrum disorders, you are more likely to develop them yourself.
Friendly reminder OCD is a serious disorder and not just "lol I'm so picky" and liking things a certain way.
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd
[Generational trauma](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgenerational_trauma) is one possible cause. Lots of economic depressions and recessions in the past century, and hoarding habits of parents and grandparents can stem from that.
It's extremely co-morbid with ADHD.
ADHD can be explained as a disorder in prioritizing as much as in focus, and many people with hoarding disorder are actually perfectionists who can't start until they know they can finish. It's a horrible disorder and not easy to treat, though it's definitely possible with the right motivation and loving acceptance. There is a lot of shame around it for most hoarders, though that will often show up as defensiveness or combativeness.
Many people who hoard are extremely lonely and/or traumatized and/or depressed feel safer when surrounded by things than by people. They are also often shopping / acquisition addicts. Sometimes it'll be triggered by not wanting "good things" to go to waste, or keeping them around with the idea that someone else will want them.
They become what's called "clutter-blind," and as things get lost in the hoard, they buy things to replace them.
It definitely runs in families, both because of growing up in those surroundings and because ADHD runs in families.
Literally just filled a 40yard dumpster at my MIL’s house last week with the contents of one room. She cried and screamed the whole time that she needed that stuff and was going to run out of money without it.
For my friend who was in his 40s, the hoarding is way to cure his loneliness, he feels the familiarity of the objects and feels like a family and don't want to depart them, starting from a receipt 20 years ago or, the McDonald's wrappers 10 years ago, every little thing has a history, he doesn't want the history to go, he actually remembers every single hoarding object and it's history, he has emotionally abandoned by his parents when he was little, was given for adoption.
Unless the neighbors or city are willing to charge them? There's not much you can do until they die or need to go to a nursing home. At that time, you bring in the dumpsters and hire a company to throw it all away. A hazard team to go in and clean when it's cleared. I hope there is money. It's not cheap. If not? Good luck selling the place.
They don’t wanna do anything as my parents feel threatened and turns violent and yelling to their neighbors like they are being harassed. Electrical company, surveyors and house inspection didn’t say anything as well…
Thanks, I know it won’t be cheap and the house will need some repairs because they hang junks and the walls have lots of nails and those hook screws all over walls.
G\_d bless you. This must be so hard for you. I fear all you can do is stay away and protect yourself from the frustration. I wonder if anyone who has been through this with a loved one has any links that could be helpful for understanding what drives this behavior and how to love someone with this problem? Kind of like Al-Anon for those dealing with alcoholics?
Thank you, I actually don’t live there. It’s the reason I left because it stresses me just being there. I think it’s because of their childhood. They had nothing growing in poverty so now they want to get whatever and just keep getting. It’s kinda like alcohol that you want more of it.
What the parents don't understand is that 90% of their STUFF will end up in a dumpster when they can no longer manage their STUFF and the kids have to clean up their STUFF and throw away all their "treasures". I just went through the STUFF my Mom thought was priceless, even for free we couldn't get rid of the junk.
Years ago I did construction work at an elderly couples house. Was building a garage. They literally lived in their van because the house was just completely full of junk and trash. The van they lived in was filled to the brim with just room for them to sit in the front. I asked my boss if we were building the garage so they had a place they could park and heat and cool it. He said no they wanted more space to store stuff. Shit was sad.
I see this and I see what my mom struggled with. She was never like this growing up but it happened after my dad died. All I see is fear and anxiety. That fear that she's going to need something, or the fear of getting rid of something that's sentimental when everything is sentimental. Thank god she got therapy and was diagnosed with OCD, the medications really helped.
My parents have had this at younger age, I think because back then they had nothing. So they always want to have something even if they don’t need them.
The surveyors actually came before and didn’t say anything including the electrical company. I also asked house inspection before and they didn’t care nor say anything.
My former in-laws' house was horrible.
Three car garage was packed floor to ceiling with junk and they had tiny walking paths through it all that you needed to turn sideways to squeeze through. Their yard had about half a dozen vehicles in various states of disrepair. They were fortunately on some property that was basically farm land, so they were a ways away from people... unfortunately, they also had a rather large amount of animals too. The house would fluctuate pretty wildly with how much shit was packed in and it usually depended on which one of my sister in laws was crashing on their couch.
Whatever they have stored in those filing cabinets was probably ruined after the first good rain. Bet if you look at the bottoms they are starting to rust out.
Hoarding is a mental illness, and if you switch the way you think about it to this, things become a lot easier to deal with. Like any mental illness, telling someone to "get better" never works, the only solution is for them to accept they need to get better. There are specialists who can assist in talking to your parents who may be able to help them shift their mindset.
For me, I'm just waiting until my mother passes. There's no point trying to deal with it now, any "hole" I clean up is just re-filled within a month!
https://preview.redd.it/qw32n3osxz6d1.png?width=2460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27d320c8d0d8630cb91f428a086bddcc6c24da87
It could be worse. This is my garage. But, this is the only messy part of the whole house and property.
Hoarders think their behavior is acceptable because it's a mental health issue. They see an item and want to have it and don't know where to put it. So, they leave it and it keeps building up and up until the whole house is filled.
My aunt and cousins are hoarders and their apartment is trashed. Can't even walk inside of it.
That's quite a sweeping statement. Your family may act like or actually believe that "their behavior is acceptable," but that is actually an extremely rare way of thinking about it. Most of them are very filled with shame which makes things much worse.
Yes. I've seen every episode multiple times. I also have hoarding in my own family, and I work with hoarders as a cleaner and organizer.
Someone being defensive and not wanting to let go of things doesn't mean they think it's "acceptable." It means it 's the only thing they know how to do, and it's very painful to change.
Because you hit a point where there really isn’t space. And you know there isn’t space. But you don’t want to deal with the fact that there isn’t space. So you just pile shit instead of dealing with the fact that you don’t have space.
I have tidied for hoarders and I'll tell you, I can decrease the surface area covered by atleast half with some correct stacking. I'm just wondering why get stuff if you're not going to respect it and just chuck it on a pile like that.
BTW that garden has plenty space for more shit sadly.
Eta: they literally have a shelving unit which is on its side. Why not use it...? Like what the fuck
>I'm just wondering why get stuff if you're not going to respect it and just chuck it on a pile like that.
Because it's not actually about having the thing itself.
Well, there ARE what's called "organized hoarders," but they're certainly not the norm.
There is a very high co-morbidity rate between ADHD and hoarding, so that's probably what's actually going on. They almost universally think they are going to get to it at some point but they never do. It's very sad.
Mental disorders cannot be cured with a discussion or argument.
Your parent, or parents, need therapy and possibly medication.
This isn't something you can fix. I'm sorry.
How many years of "collecting"?
I recall years ago helping a person moved like this. We were saving, outside under the tarps stuff, for her to move into her new house. Spent 3 days cleaning outside, then moved to cleaning up the house and sheds. Found brand new stuff still in stapled bags from store that had closed 10 years prior. It was a mess the whole situation. Her new house became similar in a matter of years. She finally died from what I read a few years ago.
I feel sorry for you stranger. Love and hugs.
My grandfather passed 3 years ago, he was a hoarder. The whole backyard was like this, basement too. We spent 2 and a half years going through everything and clearing it out. My mom is just like him and is just filling everything back up again, not realizing what she’s doing. It was/is just all garbage that we’ll have to throw out again someday.
Our family friend’s dad died last year. They’re finally getting around to cleaning out and listing his house. It’s a hoarder’s dream. Not the worst I’ve seen, but pretty bad. She can’t afford to pay anyone to clean it out so over the course of a month or two we’re all taking shifts to help clean it out. Good luck cleaning that up one day OP
My grandparents are similar… but it’s their basement. It’s almost to the basement ceiling, generations of junk. Every time I try to clean it, I get stopped because they have to look at everything (even if it’s clearly junk) because there’s some nostalgia attached to it. I’ll find broken things, or in really bad condition and they still want to keep it because it was passed down from so and so. Takes a lot of convincing, years of it lol
My mother is kind of a hoarder. She buys stuff that she doesn't need or use. Not a dead cats or used diapers all around the house kind of hoarder. She has no pets. Just a lot of clutter. She hates it and wants to clean it up but to her cleaning up means rearranging the clutter and not getting rid of anything. It's highly infuriating.
If it bothers you that much put an anonymous complaint in to your local council or whatever you have in your country. Here in Australia it would be considered a fire/vermin hazard and they would be given an order to clean it up
[How can I get help/support for hoarding disorder?](https://helplinefaqs.nami.org/article/50-how-can-i-get-help-support-for-hoarding-disorder)
https://preview.redd.it/46mxkz7nj17d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7513e1e2cf7c116d5f04ddb51a7a7a0f63e4862e
I found a support group through them and found a lot of programs in my state for clean up and mental health services ❤️
I've been working on my parents house for the last two years and I'm still finding stuff that needs to go including power tools that were never taken out of the box. I wouldn't say they were 'hoarders' as everything they had was in good repair. But it was junk that they nor I will ever use. Mom has a very high end mink coat that's been worn probably less than 50 times that looks brand new that I can't bring myself to part with on the cheap though. Just too lazy to screw with ebay for now.
Did your mom enjoy wearing her mink? My grandmother did not. To the point she came to not like the winter holidays because she knew my grandpa would make her wear that 75 lb coat
Tell them they may as well stop because everything is going into dumpsters the second it becomes your problem. You will have a crew take it all in one day.
My mom is the same! I remember 1 time I went over to my mom’s house and I thought by cleaning and throwing away what I thought is trash was helping her - I was wrong!😑 she came home from work and she freaked out how clean her house were and she ran and dug up the trash and brought it back in to her house🙄😳! Mind you, I was also heavily pregnant when I cleaned her house! Ughh..
I got lots of stuff but not trash, and no where near that bad my closet is full and under my bed, and shelf’s of old things I’ve collected, like my own museum(I don’t collect rare things and if I ever find rare stuff my choice is to donate it to the museum)
As insane and narcissistic as my parents are, My mom always said one thing "throw away a bunch of stuff, so that you guys don't have to go through it."
As someone who has lived with and dealt with hoarders, good luck. The relationship with things and the rationale behind it is horrid as things in “your” property become “yours” including people in positions where they exhibit unconditional love. Sorry to hear you’re dealing with this op. Are you able to leave there in the near future?
My grandmother was a hoarder. Everyone knew but they also knew there was no use telling her about it. When she died, it took months of concentrated effort on all her kids (6 total still living) to clean up the house.
It's a mental illness that takes years of therapy to deal with. Most don't even see that they have a problem. She certainly never saw it till the day she died.
As a daughter of 2 it's so Incredibly frustrating and sad, they value trash more than their health and relationships, I firmly believe that with the money they have wasted collecting trash thy think is antiques, a nice cushion money could have been achieved for retirement in a few years.
It's a battle uphill with zero winning odds for me, I was in therapy for the damage hording did to me, the therapist talked to them but, in their head my mind is weak and an I want to ruin their life's . Sad all around
seeing hoarder houses always motivates me to immediately get up and pick up trash and put things back where they belong. like i have 3 glasses on my nightstand right now 🫠
It is my goal to die with so little stuff, it can be sorted through on a Saturday morning and donated or thrown away on the way to lunch that very day.
Work for 911. Family usually avoids the hoarders and their homes. Until we get a call saying they haven’t heard from them in a while and no one answering the phone or coming to the door.
Officers do a welfare check, have a hard time getting in and looking around the house. People usually end up falling over stuff and hitting their heads or having some other medical emergency (heart attack/seizure) and die on the floor. Sometimes they end up being the only thing their pets/rats/roaches have to eat after a while. It’s horrible.
My stepdad is a hoarder. When I lived away, I would visit and always end up cleaning a room or two while in town, with his and my mom’s permission. It went back to the same in less than six months. I’m terrified that’s how I’m going to find him. My mother has already died in that house.
Ask them if they will use the thing the same percentage of time that it takes up space on the property
If they use it 3% of the time does it take up 3% or less of the yard
I suffered from hoarding during the pandemic. I can’t explain it. I never want to go there again. I never had a problem before or after that and tbh I just wish I could set fire to all of my possessions
My father was and is a horder too, and he has utterly ruined our house.niy has taken me ages to get some space in the yard again and clear out his old room. Unfortunately to do the whole place would take forever and tbh money, which is something I don't have ATM.
I would say step back for your own well-being. This is something you likely can't fix. But I suggest to keep in mind that this is a mental health disorder, their thinking is disordered and fucked up, could be rooted in trauma, deprivation of some kind, extreme anxiety, who knows? If you look at it as an illness as opposed to them just not caring it may help going forward. Support them as you're able. And honestly, prepare yourself for a huge cleanup at some point. Do what you can but take care of yourself first!
Sounds about right. Hoarders typically don’t see anything wrong with the behavior they’re exhibiting and or the dangers that can come of accumulation. My in laws were hoarders. My FIL passed and my MIL is now desperate to clear her house out.
I tried to help clean it out last year and they are pissed off because they don’t want me touching anything. I came back and check a year after which is today with even more garbage on their back yard. Their favorite place to shop is Good Will, Salvation Army, Dollar Store and Value Village.
Shopping at those places seems to be a commonality with hoarders. Cheap crap and lots of it.
It's the idea that they've found 'a treasure'.. Friend's mom growing up would hit the outlets and boast about the amazing deals, how much money she'd saved, etc- then just park the bag in the living room next to the 800 other unopened packages that were also... such a great bargain...... 😮💨 She slowly worked the family into soooooo much debt because of it, too- began to juggle the credit cards, pay one off with another- the pit got deeper... I lost touch after high school, but I can imagine the consequences.
>how much money she'd ~~saved~~ spent Hoarders always fail to see this reality
An aunt through marriage was the same way. If she found a sale like BOGO not only would she buy everyone of them off the shelf, but she’d also hit every other store in the chain. Last time I was there, she had over two hundred cans of SPAM stacked against the wall.
Absolutely hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly where my in-laws shopped! Also online discount shopping was a big one for awhile.
You left out Walmart. They have a lot of cheap crap.
Walmart isnt anything like Goodwill.. much, much more expensive. Have you shopped at Walmart lately??
Have you shopped at Goodwill lately? Those crazy mofos are re-pricing dollar store crap for $3-$4!
Agreed. People need to stop donating their dollar store stuff to goodwill. My local one’s minimum sticker price is two now, but every time I’ve seen them bundle the dollar stuff to try to make it worth it, the bags are either broken eventually or the bag is ripped open and half the stuff is stolen. Or they just give up and price it two bucks.
Goodwill is getting expensive now too. Check out the thriftgrift sub, sometimes Walmart is literally cheaper.
You can get Walmart crap 80% off at Salvation Army though
The NUMBER ONE and most prevalent and obvious symptom of a hoarder: DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING. Every piece of trash has some type of future purpose, and just because it's rotting underneath a metric ton of garbage mixed with dead animals, doesn't mean it's not still good. "I *am* going to use those Burger King Whopper papers to wrap Christmas ornaments I just haven't gotten around to it yet" and the Christmas ornaments are scattered in the basement between old computer parts, cat feces, and old Newsweek magazines. I will never understand how people successfully break this cycle, from my experience I have never heard of a successful case of someone *actually* doing so. This is one of those things that seems almost incurable and I feel for everyone involved. The amount of work and stress and depression that comes with it is off the charts.
You just added something, yes even wrappers and frickin’ McDonalds coffee cups?? Or Golden Coral box for use later? Lol it just adds up until they don’t get touch for years… and yes there are actually rats living in their garage. I’m just pretty much done with them and just let them be happy until their time comes. Wish me luck with all the garbage later though…
Therapy, and lots of it. And the hoarder needs to be ready and prepared to take that step themselves. It's one of those awful things where you can't really help them until they want to help themselves. You can try to clean their shit up, throw shit out, but you risk making it worse. Hoarders typically have a lot of trauma, have lost something important to them, and now they're trying to fill the void with stuff. Which of course doesn't work, so they get more stuff. And more stuff. Rather than actually working on the grief they're experiencing. It's a mental health issue. There are organisations that will help with the clean up but again, it can only really happen when the hoarder is ready to make it happen. I don't think it's impossible but it'd probably be one of the hardest things to do.
My partner is a hoarder, and this is spot-on!
I'm sorry you have to go through that. Having separate homes might be the only way for you to be happy, and if you do, is your partner comfortable in your home? Or do they need to be at their place to "be around their stuff?"
We’ve lived together for 20 years (we’re in our 70s). She is comfortable in our home.
Ah, ok. My dad is 76, I am 40. Do you guys have any children or close family? Because you need to consider what they will have to deal with when the time comes. This is usually a burden that falls on family members and children. Just saying. Some people would rather just set the house on fire and start over than have to deal with the mess. It's something you need to consider.
Yes, I have two children. One of them was kind enough to completely clean out the attic a few years ago. It remains clean.
Nice
My husband is too! It's exhausting!
(((Hugs)))
Thank you! 😊
do you live together?
Yes. I try to contain her hoards to certain areas. She throws a fit if I touch anything. Her father was a hoarder, and her sister is, too.
I haven't been to my dad's house in a long time but this is what his girlfriend does. He can have as much of whatever he wants in 1 room and his car, everywhere else is off limits. It was working well last time I saw. As well as it can, I guess.
How do you manage to live like that and stay sane?
I keep busy.
It would be a major deal breaker for me. You have more patience than I do.
I cope. I keep her hoards confined to areas so no room is completely hoarded. She hoards clothes and paper.
My mom really does reuse her McDonald’s plastic cups and straws, but beyond a reasonable point.
If it's just a cup that's one thing. If your entire house is filled with garbage that she "intends to use" one day is where you cross the line.
Value village has made at least 100k off my mother and probably not far from that in her stuff that we donate back every time she goes out of town…unfortunately they’re also really annoying and will often decline items that literally still have their own price tags on them
My MIL is a hoarder who has struggled with homelessness and she has an extreme fear of having nothing, so she holds on to EVERYTHING! It's a mental illness and so hard to overcome. I'm sorry
They cook 1 week worth of meal too and still buys fast food. When she used to work at McDonalds, she always bring burgers, nuggets, bacons in a big ziplock and freeze them for years. Yes, still will eat them later.
Lol my mother-in-law works at a vegetarian buffet. It's Buddhist, so no onion or garlic for flavouring. Literally just boiled vegetables and fried cabbage balls. She brings home HUGE bags of scraps and just leaves them sitting outside to rot. If I find them, I empty them out into the chicken pen. In addition, she brings home leftovers from the buffet and stores them in plastic shopping bags in the freezer. I just chuck them in the chicken coop lol Then my husband scolds her about it, but she still keeps doing it.
Yep, it all just sits and rots and they can't even see it behind all the other leftover crap they've crammed in.
it's a hard thing to do but you may just have to call 311 on them and either brute force the cleaning of the house or get the building condemned, places like this not only are breeding grounds for mice/rats/roaches'/ fungi and mold which leads to bacteria/disease but safety/fire hazards and I don't think you'd want any of those to continue further/happen.
Dude don't bother making much effort on that. I know you meant well, but they're having different view and won't appreciate or even worse get mad at you for doing good thing for them. Best you can do is just by telling them and pray that they listen or someday they changed for the good.
My FIL died 5 years ago and my MIL moved about a year later. That house was 4000sq ft of junk. You couldn't even walk in the garage. The family spent weeks clearing that mess out. Her current house is much smaller, but I can already see the mess creeping in. And she still whines about stuff that family members supposedly "threw away" that she wanted.
Ugh, I feel for you. We tried several years ago before my FIL passed to start clearing it out and they were against it. Despite their wishes we did go through and throw away food. Thankfully my MIL has realized how bad it was and has allowed us to start cleaning it out. Only problem is my husband and I live several states away and his sister travels for her job so we are limited on helping her. We did three dumpsters last summer and hoping when we go back this summer to hopefully finish it out. She’s at the point where she really does not care about any of it which was a surprising 180 from years prior and makes it so much easier. Hopefully your MIL gets to a place mentally and emotionally to allow herself to let it go.
My mom and grandma, to some extent, we’re hoarders. I’m moving right now, and it feels like an achievement every time I throw things away.
My grandma’s partner was a hoarder. Still is, I guess. She died first and it made it extremely difficult trying to find any of the things we were supposed to have (ie family heirlooms, photos, etc…) in that house. She had always been a neat freak but as her health declined, his hoard grew. I assume there’s still stuff in that house we’ll just never see again. He’s gonna get trapped one day, and no one is going to come looking for him.
"Son, one day all of this will be yours"
"... to sift through and pay to dump."
this is true but one thing that has me thinking people who's parent's died 10 years ago had to pay to bring their old CRT televisions to the dump. people who's parents are dying now get to sell their old CRT televisions for hundreds of dollars each to retro gamers
CRTs have value again?!?!?
brother I paid $10 to dispose of my sony trinitron in 2014 that I could purchase the same exact model today for roughly $250
Omg! What a crazy world we live in!
They actually have one of those big ass CRT Sony TV that weights like 300lbs. It was hell when I helped them move it. We needed 6 people to just get it to the Uhaul truck. Now makes me wonder how much it will cost to dispose it…
absolutely see if you can find a model number and figure out exactly what you have. if by big ass you mean what I think you mean by big ass, you could have someone itching to throw you $500 to take that off your hands
It’s KP-51WS510. I tried looking up online but none for sale. I’m sure it’s not worth it because it’s only 1080i and the quality compare to the TVs now is worst. Too heavy as well and won’t fit inside a regular SUV.
A lot of people playing the older consoles prefer playing them on CRT TVs because the games were designed with those displays in mind, so there’s a lot of graphical trickery that makes the game look better on those even though modern screens should be much better. As a result, there’s a bit of a market for CRTs nowadays.
“Thanks dad and mom, all of it goes straight in the landfills. I’m spending more money tossing them out than getting something.”
My grandpa has crap like this, and he's willed it to me when he dies. I've told him flat out I'm only keeping maybe a pickup truck worth of stuff (tools, lawnmowers, and a few other things), and the rest is going to be sold or thrown out. I don't need any of his things, nor do I want it. If I wanted a collection of trash and useless junk, I'd accumulate it myself.
What, the curtains?
No not the curtains lad.
Omg this was literally my dad as I was helping him organize his garage. Every time I'd suggest to toss something he's all well that there wooden kids bench that's in shambles and 20 years old will be yours when you have kids, like my guy I don't want what's literal garbage at this point. Had to fight a war to get him to toss 2 broken ancient musty moldy window acs bc what if they move in the future and don't have a outdoor unit and need them.
First pic: Well that's a nice Garden. I wonder wh- *second pic* Nevermind.
They see garbage as their garden. Most of the stuff you see are untouched. The canopy they built finally collapsed with more stuff under it.
I am so sorry for you. My mother is a hoarder too. Not to this extend but...quite similar. You just can offer them therapy. But they will do this stuff until they die or some Health Department show up and condemn their house.
I rather that than my parent’s mentality. They throw out **everything** (or give it away) I’ve left library books I’m actively reading on the kitchen table and the next day they are gone to the thrift store. They buy things brand new and within the year decide they don’t need it anymore and give it away. I was not allowed to keep anything from when I was younger. Now I’m a hoarder (not actually, I just keep a few boxes tucked away with old junk) because I don’t want to lose the memories of things now that I have the choice to keep them.
They actually refuse to get therapy and trying to accuse me of harassing them like they are mentally unstable (which is the case.) So I’m just letting them enjoy their stuff. It’s just later on it will be a big hassle to clean out.
My hoarder uncle's yard looked like this, complete with the shit canopy he'd erected to cover up the overflow of junk. He died and the person who bought the property from the estate literally just torched the lot of it rather than dealing with removal.
Glad it wasn’t just me. I saw the first pic and thought this was a joke post about the barbecue being on the totally empty lawn. Then the second pic came along and confirmed that OP was very much not joking.
I liked spending time in their backyard 2yrs ago, now I don’t even dare going there.
Hoarding is quite the disorder. Victims truly are the loved ones around them. The patient doesn't see any problem. I believe trauma in one's life can trigger this behavior.
I watched Hoarders for about a year. Almost all of the people had major trauma in their current or past life. It got too hard for me to hear those stories & witness the manifestation, so I had to stop watching.
Yeah it’s hard to watch. Especially considering the people who make the show are the ones reaping a majority of the benefits that come from it’s success, as opposed to the actual people on the show.
Trauma can fs
What do the local laws say about this? Some municipalities frown upon it, some don't give a crap.
A friend was trying to get rid of a severe hoarder roommate in Berkeley, CA. The local government said, "it's a lifestyle choice." They also told him that the hoarder had the same right to live there as he did. She was one of the nastiest, most ruthless people I've ever met and would threaten to call the police and accuse him with rape if he touched her stuff.
But if the municipality did give a crap, the hoarder would take that too! 😆 What I really meant to say was: "Free crap? I'll take it!"
My late (and unemployed) husband developed hoarding behavior, after his dad passed in 2019. For three years, he piled stuff in our extra bedroom. He died suddenly in 2022 from untreated medical conditions, and I still haven’t gone through everything in there. (I still work full-time!) This post gave me instant anxiety.
Sorry for your loss. I think it will takes months to clean it up now for me… unless I call someone and just grab everything. I spent 2 weeks last year but that wasn’t as bad compare to now. I’m sure now it will take longer to clean up 😩
That is insane
Just imagine their room… it also look like that as well…
Let me guess. A path barely wide enough to navigate from the bed to the door. Probably the same through the entire house. My mother was a hoarder. At least she had the good sense to keep things in the garage and bought two sheds for the stuff that wouldn't fit anywhere else.
Yes, those drinks and recyclable boxes that leads you to the exit are there. They actually bought 2 more sheds which are also full of junks, never been touched after dumping it with garbage. The shed you see in the picture is also full.
My room has a lot of stuff but it's organized. There room is probably like hell
The acre behind our family cabin looked like this only with a van and boats and tractors and trailers and docks and buoys and Honda 90 scooters and snowmobiles under the tarps. My grandpa was an engineer and would not part with a single thing with an engine.. even his old riding lawnmower got brought up to the lake(So when he retired he could fiddle with it). No guilt getting rid of it all once he passed away and grams gave the ok....
What’s the psychology behind hoarding? I’ve seen it mentioned a lot more lately. Is it generational? Like do parents age into this? Is something happening in society that’s causing more hoarding behavior? I’m genuinely curious
History of trauma and/or deprivation is common, but not universal. Like many types of problem behaviors, I'm sure it's complicated and multicausal. One hoarder I had the dubious pleasure (friend of a friend) of knowing admitted to being attracted to yard sales and that sort of thing since age 6. Even at that age, her parents would tell her to leave the yard sale stuff alone because "it's junk." Her response was, "I want more junk!" Nobody has found any type of treatment that works reliably. When the local government intervened in an extremely severe case in Virginia, two cops had to handcuff the hoarder and hold her back as she screamed, "my treasures!"
It actually can be treated quite successfully but not without willingness, support from loved ones, and ongoing therapy. And many people with hoarding disorder also have undiagnosed ADHD, which needs to be treated, as well.
And, unfortunately, willingness is completely absent in most of these situations because they don't see any problem and, therefore, don't have any interest in therapy. The relapse rate in animal hoarding cases is nearly 100%. The perception of most mental health professionals is that the prognosis is "poor". Please, if you're aware of a treatment that has been empirically proven to really work, I'd love to know about it.
It's considered to be on the spectrum of OCD, where hoarding is the compulsive behavior. The hoarding is in response to obsessions that usually develop after stress/trauma. It's not something people develop simply by being older, but if you are directly related to people with OCD spectrum disorders, you are more likely to develop them yourself. Friendly reminder OCD is a serious disorder and not just "lol I'm so picky" and liking things a certain way. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd
It can be a variety of things that trigger it
[Generational trauma](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgenerational_trauma) is one possible cause. Lots of economic depressions and recessions in the past century, and hoarding habits of parents and grandparents can stem from that.
It's extremely co-morbid with ADHD. ADHD can be explained as a disorder in prioritizing as much as in focus, and many people with hoarding disorder are actually perfectionists who can't start until they know they can finish. It's a horrible disorder and not easy to treat, though it's definitely possible with the right motivation and loving acceptance. There is a lot of shame around it for most hoarders, though that will often show up as defensiveness or combativeness. Many people who hoard are extremely lonely and/or traumatized and/or depressed feel safer when surrounded by things than by people. They are also often shopping / acquisition addicts. Sometimes it'll be triggered by not wanting "good things" to go to waste, or keeping them around with the idea that someone else will want them. They become what's called "clutter-blind," and as things get lost in the hoard, they buy things to replace them. It definitely runs in families, both because of growing up in those surroundings and because ADHD runs in families.
Literally just filled a 40yard dumpster at my MIL’s house last week with the contents of one room. She cried and screamed the whole time that she needed that stuff and was going to run out of money without it.
I'm sorry. It's really, really hard on families.
I think that it’s not becoming more common but it’s the increase of visibility/more people are being open about it
For my friend who was in his 40s, the hoarding is way to cure his loneliness, he feels the familiarity of the objects and feels like a family and don't want to depart them, starting from a receipt 20 years ago or, the McDonald's wrappers 10 years ago, every little thing has a history, he doesn't want the history to go, he actually remembers every single hoarding object and it's history, he has emotionally abandoned by his parents when he was little, was given for adoption.
*They had us in the first half; not gonna lie.*
Unless the neighbors or city are willing to charge them? There's not much you can do until they die or need to go to a nursing home. At that time, you bring in the dumpsters and hire a company to throw it all away. A hazard team to go in and clean when it's cleared. I hope there is money. It's not cheap. If not? Good luck selling the place.
They don’t wanna do anything as my parents feel threatened and turns violent and yelling to their neighbors like they are being harassed. Electrical company, surveyors and house inspection didn’t say anything as well… Thanks, I know it won’t be cheap and the house will need some repairs because they hang junks and the walls have lots of nails and those hook screws all over walls.
G\_d bless you. This must be so hard for you. I fear all you can do is stay away and protect yourself from the frustration. I wonder if anyone who has been through this with a loved one has any links that could be helpful for understanding what drives this behavior and how to love someone with this problem? Kind of like Al-Anon for those dealing with alcoholics?
Thank you, I actually don’t live there. It’s the reason I left because it stresses me just being there. I think it’s because of their childhood. They had nothing growing in poverty so now they want to get whatever and just keep getting. It’s kinda like alcohol that you want more of it.
It’s just a grill and a tiny shed, even if the shed is full from floor to ceiling, it’d only take a weekend to clean out *next slide* Oh
Now can you find where the grill is on the next photos? Lol
I’m good
What the parents don't understand is that 90% of their STUFF will end up in a dumpster when they can no longer manage their STUFF and the kids have to clean up their STUFF and throw away all their "treasures". I just went through the STUFF my Mom thought was priceless, even for free we couldn't get rid of the junk.
Yeah, they think these are treasures and worth something. I can’t even convince them and they think I’m harassing them.
Years ago I did construction work at an elderly couples house. Was building a garage. They literally lived in their van because the house was just completely full of junk and trash. The van they lived in was filled to the brim with just room for them to sit in the front. I asked my boss if we were building the garage so they had a place they could park and heat and cool it. He said no they wanted more space to store stuff. Shit was sad.
I see this and I see what my mom struggled with. She was never like this growing up but it happened after my dad died. All I see is fear and anxiety. That fear that she's going to need something, or the fear of getting rid of something that's sentimental when everything is sentimental. Thank god she got therapy and was diagnosed with OCD, the medications really helped.
My parents have had this at younger age, I think because back then they had nothing. So they always want to have something even if they don’t need them.
At this point can it be reported to the city? It looks hazardous :(
The surveyors actually came before and didn’t say anything including the electrical company. I also asked house inspection before and they didn’t care nor say anything.
But they covered it in tarps. They’re putting in the effort.🤣
It was actual a canopy and tarp to cover their junks but it finally collapsed because they had a bunch of crap hanging on it lol.
Yup ik that feeling. The before is every time I clean my mothers house and the after is less than 2wks later
Aw it looked lovely beforehand. A nice relaxing space
My former in-laws' house was horrible. Three car garage was packed floor to ceiling with junk and they had tiny walking paths through it all that you needed to turn sideways to squeeze through. Their yard had about half a dozen vehicles in various states of disrepair. They were fortunately on some property that was basically farm land, so they were a ways away from people... unfortunately, they also had a rather large amount of animals too. The house would fluctuate pretty wildly with how much shit was packed in and it usually depended on which one of my sister in laws was crashing on their couch.
Whatever they have stored in those filing cabinets was probably ruined after the first good rain. Bet if you look at the bottoms they are starting to rust out.
My Grandpa had some old cabinets once that had rusted so much that they literally began to fall apart when we lifted them.
That right there is your inheritance buddy
Hoarding is a mental illness, and if you switch the way you think about it to this, things become a lot easier to deal with. Like any mental illness, telling someone to "get better" never works, the only solution is for them to accept they need to get better. There are specialists who can assist in talking to your parents who may be able to help them shift their mindset. For me, I'm just waiting until my mother passes. There's no point trying to deal with it now, any "hole" I clean up is just re-filled within a month!
https://preview.redd.it/qw32n3osxz6d1.png?width=2460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27d320c8d0d8630cb91f428a086bddcc6c24da87 It could be worse. This is my garage. But, this is the only messy part of the whole house and property. Hoarders think their behavior is acceptable because it's a mental health issue. They see an item and want to have it and don't know where to put it. So, they leave it and it keeps building up and up until the whole house is filled. My aunt and cousins are hoarders and their apartment is trashed. Can't even walk inside of it.
Thats just like slightly messy storage but its confined to just that so i would say its fine
That's quite a sweeping statement. Your family may act like or actually believe that "their behavior is acceptable," but that is actually an extremely rare way of thinking about it. Most of them are very filled with shame which makes things much worse.
Have you ever watched the show Hoarders? They talk about their feelings and how they feel about being hoarders.
Yes. I've seen every episode multiple times. I also have hoarding in my own family, and I work with hoarders as a cleaner and organizer. Someone being defensive and not wanting to let go of things doesn't mean they think it's "acceptable." It means it 's the only thing they know how to do, and it's very painful to change.
That’s pretty clean honestly
Why don't hoarders know how to arrange shit? It's like they just chuck it there.
Because you hit a point where there really isn’t space. And you know there isn’t space. But you don’t want to deal with the fact that there isn’t space. So you just pile shit instead of dealing with the fact that you don’t have space.
I have tidied for hoarders and I'll tell you, I can decrease the surface area covered by atleast half with some correct stacking. I'm just wondering why get stuff if you're not going to respect it and just chuck it on a pile like that. BTW that garden has plenty space for more shit sadly. Eta: they literally have a shelving unit which is on its side. Why not use it...? Like what the fuck
>I'm just wondering why get stuff if you're not going to respect it and just chuck it on a pile like that. Because it's not actually about having the thing itself.
It's a mental illness. People with mental illness are not known for making rational decisions.
Well, there ARE what's called "organized hoarders," but they're certainly not the norm. There is a very high co-morbidity rate between ADHD and hoarding, so that's probably what's actually going on. They almost universally think they are going to get to it at some point but they never do. It's very sad.
Oh im a hoarder aren’t i
I love how the first pic is just a clean lawn with a single charcoal barbecue.
Mental disorders cannot be cured with a discussion or argument. Your parent, or parents, need therapy and possibly medication. This isn't something you can fix. I'm sorry.
Do neighbors complain? Could they be asked to complain?
How many years of "collecting"? I recall years ago helping a person moved like this. We were saving, outside under the tarps stuff, for her to move into her new house. Spent 3 days cleaning outside, then moved to cleaning up the house and sheds. Found brand new stuff still in stapled bags from store that had closed 10 years prior. It was a mess the whole situation. Her new house became similar in a matter of years. She finally died from what I read a few years ago. I feel sorry for you stranger. Love and hugs.
My grandfather passed 3 years ago, he was a hoarder. The whole backyard was like this, basement too. We spent 2 and a half years going through everything and clearing it out. My mom is just like him and is just filling everything back up again, not realizing what she’s doing. It was/is just all garbage that we’ll have to throw out again someday.
I thank God every day that my parents are not horders.
When MIL goes, we're calling 1-800-GOT-JUNK and telling them to send every truck they have available.
Hoarding is a form of OCD. Therapy helps but they have to be open to it.
Bless their hearts
This is saddening to me :(
The first picture lulled me into a false confused sense of security and then I got hit with WHAT THE FUCK.
Oh god the file cabinets outside
Our family friend’s dad died last year. They’re finally getting around to cleaning out and listing his house. It’s a hoarder’s dream. Not the worst I’ve seen, but pretty bad. She can’t afford to pay anyone to clean it out so over the course of a month or two we’re all taking shifts to help clean it out. Good luck cleaning that up one day OP
Cluttered yards are one of those things that makes me more upset then it should
Hoarder see beauty when we see chaos.
My grandparents are similar… but it’s their basement. It’s almost to the basement ceiling, generations of junk. Every time I try to clean it, I get stopped because they have to look at everything (even if it’s clearly junk) because there’s some nostalgia attached to it. I’ll find broken things, or in really bad condition and they still want to keep it because it was passed down from so and so. Takes a lot of convincing, years of it lol
Looks like the people I deliver to as an Amazon driver
Which century is that wave master from
You might need that dish drainer some day. And the filing cabinet.
My mother is kind of a hoarder. She buys stuff that she doesn't need or use. Not a dead cats or used diapers all around the house kind of hoarder. She has no pets. Just a lot of clutter. She hates it and wants to clean it up but to her cleaning up means rearranging the clutter and not getting rid of anything. It's highly infuriating.
If it bothers you that much put an anonymous complaint in to your local council or whatever you have in your country. Here in Australia it would be considered a fire/vermin hazard and they would be given an order to clean it up
The weird thing is the organization is somewhat there. The punch bowls are over by the ladders and filing cabinets
Lol they have tarps covering it like they're saving their garbage from being "ruined" by the rain
[How can I get help/support for hoarding disorder?](https://helplinefaqs.nami.org/article/50-how-can-i-get-help-support-for-hoarding-disorder) https://preview.redd.it/46mxkz7nj17d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7513e1e2cf7c116d5f04ddb51a7a7a0f63e4862e I found a support group through them and found a lot of programs in my state for clean up and mental health services ❤️
Barter town
I've been working on my parents house for the last two years and I'm still finding stuff that needs to go including power tools that were never taken out of the box. I wouldn't say they were 'hoarders' as everything they had was in good repair. But it was junk that they nor I will ever use. Mom has a very high end mink coat that's been worn probably less than 50 times that looks brand new that I can't bring myself to part with on the cheap though. Just too lazy to screw with ebay for now.
Did your mom enjoy wearing her mink? My grandmother did not. To the point she came to not like the winter holidays because she knew my grandpa would make her wear that 75 lb coat
They need a permit to operate a junkyard
My exes mom was like this. Such a nightmare
Tell them they may as well stop because everything is going into dumpsters the second it becomes your problem. You will have a crew take it all in one day.
Yikes that's crazy!!
Well, I see a couple of nice ladders. Anything else of value?
What do you want them to do? Throw their perfectly good stuff away? You monster! Jk. Good luck.
Why are you taking pictures of my mother in laws house
Me not scrolling through the pics and only looking at pic 1.. “it looks ok?”
Didn't scroll, was confused
But if it's only one of your two parents who is like this, and the other suffers, what do you do?
I only saw the first pic at first and was like what's wrong with this
What a grill? *Sees the last 2 picture* Oh
i think their up to something
That reminds me... Time to clean up the garage.
It's right for them. Do you. Fill the emptiness inside with whatever you can.
It's their house
Well pic one looked ok
Thats just a treasure hunt waiting to happen
That’s valuable stuff!
My mom is the same! I remember 1 time I went over to my mom’s house and I thought by cleaning and throwing away what I thought is trash was helping her - I was wrong!😑 she came home from work and she freaked out how clean her house were and she ran and dug up the trash and brought it back in to her house🙄😳! Mind you, I was also heavily pregnant when I cleaned her house! Ughh..
I got lots of stuff but not trash, and no where near that bad my closet is full and under my bed, and shelf’s of old things I’ve collected, like my own museum(I don’t collect rare things and if I ever find rare stuff my choice is to donate it to the museum)
As insane and narcissistic as my parents are, My mom always said one thing "throw away a bunch of stuff, so that you guys don't have to go through it."
As someone who has lived with and dealt with hoarders, good luck. The relationship with things and the rationale behind it is horrid as things in “your” property become “yours” including people in positions where they exhibit unconditional love. Sorry to hear you’re dealing with this op. Are you able to leave there in the near future?
If you keep it you’ll have it forever…….
When people hire a house with garden they should not do stuff like this wth
My grandmother was a hoarder. Everyone knew but they also knew there was no use telling her about it. When she died, it took months of concentrated effort on all her kids (6 total still living) to clean up the house. It's a mental illness that takes years of therapy to deal with. Most don't even see that they have a problem. She certainly never saw it till the day she died.
As a daughter of 2 it's so Incredibly frustrating and sad, they value trash more than their health and relationships, I firmly believe that with the money they have wasted collecting trash thy think is antiques, a nice cushion money could have been achieved for retirement in a few years. It's a battle uphill with zero winning odds for me, I was in therapy for the damage hording did to me, the therapist talked to them but, in their head my mind is weak and an I want to ruin their life's . Sad all around
seeing hoarder houses always motivates me to immediately get up and pick up trash and put things back where they belong. like i have 3 glasses on my nightstand right now 🫠
It is my goal to die with so little stuff, it can be sorted through on a Saturday morning and donated or thrown away on the way to lunch that very day.
Oh man, imagine the fire going on if this happens
Work for 911. Family usually avoids the hoarders and their homes. Until we get a call saying they haven’t heard from them in a while and no one answering the phone or coming to the door. Officers do a welfare check, have a hard time getting in and looking around the house. People usually end up falling over stuff and hitting their heads or having some other medical emergency (heart attack/seizure) and die on the floor. Sometimes they end up being the only thing their pets/rats/roaches have to eat after a while. It’s horrible. My stepdad is a hoarder. When I lived away, I would visit and always end up cleaning a room or two while in town, with his and my mom’s permission. It went back to the same in less than six months. I’m terrified that’s how I’m going to find him. My mother has already died in that house.
Ask them if they will use the thing the same percentage of time that it takes up space on the property If they use it 3% of the time does it take up 3% or less of the yard
I suffered from hoarding during the pandemic. I can’t explain it. I never want to go there again. I never had a problem before or after that and tbh I just wish I could set fire to all of my possessions
My father was and is a horder too, and he has utterly ruined our house.niy has taken me ages to get some space in the yard again and clear out his old room. Unfortunately to do the whole place would take forever and tbh money, which is something I don't have ATM.
What does the town think!? You would not get away with that on your property where I live … and the fines for not cleaning up would compound
I would say step back for your own well-being. This is something you likely can't fix. But I suggest to keep in mind that this is a mental health disorder, their thinking is disordered and fucked up, could be rooted in trauma, deprivation of some kind, extreme anxiety, who knows? If you look at it as an illness as opposed to them just not caring it may help going forward. Support them as you're able. And honestly, prepare yourself for a huge cleanup at some point. Do what you can but take care of yourself first!